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Anon is straight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)14:49:08 No.858042195 >pride month is over >boyfriend still sucking my d--- gguys is he gay? I don't know how to tell him but l'm straight. 445 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)14:49:08 No.858042195 >pride month is over >boyfriend still sucking my d--- gguys is he gay? I don't know how to tell him but l'm straight. 445 KB JPG

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Anon gets radicalised | /r/Greentext

File: E3UmtBtVEBA2HKh.jpg (55 KB, 521x680) O Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)12:57:54 No.64389104 [Reply] >be me >2008 >high school >holocaust day >show & tell assignment >had spent 2 months researching about jewish practices >prepare a full report on how the world could have changed if we embraced jewish practices, starting by ritual baths and how they prevented the jews from getting sick during the great plague >bring box full of homemade soaps to explain the ritual practice + sciences of bathing >"your turn anon" >walk towards the whiteboard with a box full of soaps >Jewish kid gasps in horror as he sees the soap >"NAZI NAZI NAZIII!" >Jewlet starts speaking in torah as he foams from mouth >starts convulsing while speaking yiddish pleading for his life to not get thrown into the camps >the whole classroom drags me out >"consider yourself expelled anon, you nazi" >2 f------ months worth of research to the trash >l could take bullying >l could take not having a gf >even lacking friends >now this, this was too much >something in me broke that day Hate jews since then.
File: E3UmtBtVEBA2HKh.jpg (55 KB, 521x680) O Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)12:57:54 No.64389104 [Reply] >be me >2008 >high school >holocaust day >show & tell assignment >had spent 2 months researching about jewish practices >prepare a full report on how the world could have changed if we embraced jewish practices, starting by ritual baths and how they prevented the jews from getting sick during the great plague >bring box full of homemade soaps to explain the ritual practice + sciences of bathing >"your turn anon" >walk towards the whiteboard with a box full of soaps >Jewish kid gasps in horror as he sees the soap >"NAZI NAZI NAZIII!" >Jewlet starts speaking in torah as he foams from mouth >starts convulsing while speaking yiddish pleading for his life to not get thrown into the camps >the whole classroom drags me out >"consider yourself expelled anon, you nazi" >2 f------ months worth of research to the trash >l could take bullying >l could take not having a gf >even lacking friends >now this, this was too much >something in me broke that day Hate jews since then.

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Anon is a 4channer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)16:19:21 No.858083450 > be me > use an irrelevant Pepe for my greentext so people know l'm a 4chin hackerman > make sure I start my story with >be me 28 KB JPG > post on reddit and get lots of upvotes because it'll then be funny when I use 4chin references.jpg > booba > f--- I hate reddit
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)16:19:21 No.858083450 > be me > use an irrelevant Pepe for my greentext so people know l'm a 4chin hackerman > make sure I start my story with >be me 28 KB JPG > post on reddit and get lots of upvotes because it'll then be funny when I use 4chin references.jpg > booba > f--- I hate reddit

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California Burnin’ | /r/Greentext

12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No.152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >>152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down
12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No.152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >>152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down

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Anons sister isn’t a weeb | /r/Greentext

File: tumblr_static_tumblr stat(..).jpg (28 KB, 500x281) Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)18:20:13 No.784287841 [Reply] story time /b/ >be me >16 >sister finds out I watch anime >she thinks all anime is hentai >threatens to tell parents >think it'll scare me into doing whatever she tells me >ldontgiveafuck.jpg >tells parents >they start calling me a weeb >sister is p----- I'm not being severely punished >dad say's he honestly doesn't give a s--- >mfw he used to watch anime when he was my age >mfw my sister didn't talk to anyone for a week
File: tumblr_static_tumblr stat(..).jpg (28 KB, 500x281) Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)18:20:13 No.784287841 [Reply] story time /b/ >be me >16 >sister finds out I watch anime >she thinks all anime is hentai >threatens to tell parents >think it'll scare me into doing whatever she tells me >ldontgiveafuck.jpg >tells parents >they start calling me a weeb >sister is p----- I'm not being severely punished >dad say's he honestly doesn't give a s--- >mfw he used to watch anime when he was my age >mfw my sister didn't talk to anyone for a week

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Anon proves himself the true autist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)23:19:35 No.858073933 >be me >5th grade >well established autist, everyone knows who i am >feels great >middle of school year >kid named kevin moves to our THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE 12 KB JPG school >but im named kevin >new kevin is just as retarded >somehow becomes the most popular kid in school in his first few days >sad >for some reason, people think we should fight >f--- it >pick a day after school >everyone shows up >kevin 2 and i get ready to fight >it is time >start circling around each other >decide to start off with my ultimate attack >bring my arm back and charge >release >slap the f--- out of kevin 2 in the cheek >he stops, staring in shock >starts to cry and runs off >all of my classmates just kinda walk off disappointed >at school 5 weeks later >kevin 2 hasn't shown up since the fight >turns out he switched schools >everything went back to normal >mfw
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)23:19:35 No.858073933 >be me >5th grade >well established autist, everyone knows who i am >feels great >middle of school year >kid named kevin moves to our THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE 12 KB JPG school >but im named kevin >new kevin is just as retarded >somehow becomes the most popular kid in school in his first few days >sad >for some reason, people think we should fight >f--- it >pick a day after school >everyone shows up >kevin 2 and i get ready to fight >it is time >start circling around each other >decide to start off with my ultimate attack >bring my arm back and charge >release >slap the f--- out of kevin 2 in the cheek >he stops, staring in shock >starts to cry and runs off >all of my classmates just kinda walk off disappointed >at school 5 weeks later >kevin 2 hasn't shown up since the fight >turns out he switched schools >everything went back to normal >mfw

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Anon pulls a sneaky | /r/Greentext

No.723560076 53 minutes ago JPG 23.9 KIB 495x495 >be me >14 y/o > school uses white boards > replace white board marker ink with permanent marker ink > Bio class > teacher happens to teach human reproduction on that day > Live in a pretty conservative country so it is a taboo topic > draws huge c--- on the board > class over > next teacher comes in > tries to erase the board > class laughs > my autism kicks in > "Ma'am stop rubbing the penis" > She loses it > principal's office > She doesn't know I replaced the ink > Lets me go >I go back and see 3 bottles of acetone from the chem lab > successfully wasted time and resources
No.723560076 53 minutes ago JPG 23.9 KIB 495x495 >be me >14 y/o > school uses white boards > replace white board marker ink with permanent marker ink > Bio class > teacher happens to teach human reproduction on that day > Live in a pretty conservative country so it is a taboo topic > draws huge c--- on the board > class over > next teacher comes in > tries to erase the board > class laughs > my autism kicks in > "Ma'am stop rubbing the penis" > She loses it > principal's office > She doesn't know I replaced the ink > Lets me go >I go back and see 3 bottles of acetone from the chem lab > successfully wasted time and resources

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Anon goes clubbing | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/19/15(Mon)20:30:21 No.30522404 ► >30525016 >>30531188 >>30532087 >>30533081 >>30534190 >>30536021 >>30536034 >>30537174 File: 1421425423642.png (511 KB, 642x479) >finally get /fit/ after a few years >get coerced into going out clubbing with mates >they're all dancing and force me onto the floor >girl takes interest in me and wants to dance >don't know how to dance so I just bob my knees while doing the reload animations for different guns from various games
Anonymous 01/19/15(Mon)20:30:21 No.30522404 ► >30525016 >>30531188 >>30532087 >>30533081 >>30534190 >>30536021 >>30536034 >>30537174 File: 1421425423642.png (511 KB, 642x479) >finally get /fit/ after a few years >get coerced into going out clubbing with mates >they're all dancing and force me onto the floor >girl takes interest in me and wants to dance >don't know how to dance so I just bob my knees while doing the reload animations for different guns from various games

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Anon owns his own home | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:47:18 No.858065588 >Be me, 30 year old virgin >Finally got my life together after years of dealing with social anxiety and low self esteem >Own my own home, car, etc >Close friend's girlfriend says a friend of hers is single and she can set me up >a little anxious but my friend's girlfriend 49 KB JPG says she was practically made for me >Says she's a huge fan of Star Trek like me, vidya, shooting compound bows, ju-jitsu >Show up to her house looking my absolute best >Opens the door and outwalks a literal t----- >Can't remember if my mouth was hanging wide open or if it just felt that way >it immediately starts talking to me about the ferengi rules of acquisition >Still standing completely motionless trying to process this situation and how my friends could betray me like this >turn around, get in my car, drive home 15 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:47:18 No.858065588 >Be me, 30 year old virgin >Finally got my life together after years of dealing with social anxiety and low self esteem >Own my own home, car, etc >Close friend's girlfriend says a friend of hers is single and she can set me up >a little anxious but my friend's girlfriend 49 KB JPG says she was practically made for me >Says she's a huge fan of Star Trek like me, vidya, shooting compound bows, ju-jitsu >Show up to her house looking my absolute best >Opens the door and outwalks a literal t----- >Can't remember if my mouth was hanging wide open or if it just felt that way >it immediately starts talking to me about the ferengi rules of acquisition >Still standing completely motionless trying to process this situation and how my friends could betray me like this >turn around, get in my car, drive home 15 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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Anon owns a cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)14:13:54 No.3847091 >cat does mean thing >can't help but forgive him when i look at him because he's so CUTE it's like cats have mind control abilities HE'S SO CUTE CUTE CUTE FUZZY CUTE CUTE CUTE 47 KB JPG ADORABLE FUZZY LITTLE KITTEN AND ITS LITTLE MITTENS MEOW MEOW <3<3<3<3<3< : Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)14:17:08 No.3847093 >OP could not comprehend the cat and went insane >>3847106 #
: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)14:13:54 No.3847091 >cat does mean thing >can't help but forgive him when i look at him because he's so CUTE it's like cats have mind control abilities HE'S SO CUTE CUTE CUTE FUZZY CUTE CUTE CUTE 47 KB JPG ADORABLE FUZZY LITTLE KITTEN AND ITS LITTLE MITTENS MEOW MEOW <3<3<3<3<3< : Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)14:17:08 No.3847093 >OP could not comprehend the cat and went insane >>3847106 #

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weeb moment | /r/Greentext

File: _boko_mika_and_shimada_ar(..).jpg (120 KB, 1004x654) O Anonymous 01/30/17(Mon)05:46:45 No.5104860 [Reply] >>5104870 >grandpa is 95 years old >was in a British tank batallion during WWII >was stationed in Europe several times during the conflict >was always a role model for me, and a tough guy to heart >go visit him the other day at his beach house >brought my laptop with Girls und Panzer on it >thought he would think it fun that old tanks from his time are now used in popular culture >tell him I have something to show him >start with first episode >he just sits there with a blank expression >half way through the episode he asks me to stop >asks me to leave him alone >he retreats into his study mumbling something like This is what i fought for". >haven't heard from him since what do I do? I didn't mean to upset him. I really don't want to be unfriendly with my gramps in his last years. Anonymous 01/30/17(Mon)05:55:04 No.5104870 >>5104860 (OP) I think a part of me died while reading this.
File: _boko_mika_and_shimada_ar(..).jpg (120 KB, 1004x654) O Anonymous 01/30/17(Mon)05:46:45 No.5104860 [Reply] >>5104870 >grandpa is 95 years old >was in a British tank batallion during WWII >was stationed in Europe several times during the conflict >was always a role model for me, and a tough guy to heart >go visit him the other day at his beach house >brought my laptop with Girls und Panzer on it >thought he would think it fun that old tanks from his time are now used in popular culture >tell him I have something to show him >start with first episode >he just sits there with a blank expression >half way through the episode he asks me to stop >asks me to leave him alone >he retreats into his study mumbling something like This is what i fought for". >haven't heard from him since what do I do? I didn't mean to upset him. I really don't want to be unfriendly with my gramps in his last years. Anonymous 01/30/17(Mon)05:55:04 No.5104870 >>5104860 (OP) I think a part of me died while reading this.

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Anon cucks all the tracies with his autism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:18:03 No.858036649 >20 years old >virgin if you don't include prostitutes >regularly got approached by girls at bars and clubs and even on the street sometimes who start the conversation saying how good looking I am >Friend says whenever he posts a pic of me on his Instagram there's multiple girls 21 KB JPG and f------ asking about me >too autistic to do anything >COVID happens >now i'm due to start college in September How do I not f--- up? How over is it for me already as a 20 year old? Am I passed the point of no return? Will I be a bitter old man at 30?
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:18:03 No.858036649 >20 years old >virgin if you don't include prostitutes >regularly got approached by girls at bars and clubs and even on the street sometimes who start the conversation saying how good looking I am >Friend says whenever he posts a pic of me on his Instagram there's multiple girls 21 KB JPG and f------ asking about me >too autistic to do anything >COVID happens >now i'm due to start college in September How do I not f--- up? How over is it for me already as a 20 year old? Am I passed the point of no return? Will I be a bitter old man at 30?

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Anon is a flat-earther | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:41:24 No.858068662 What finally convinced you that the Earth is flat? NAP UF THE FLAT E 349 KB PNG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:51:42 No.858069207 : Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:54:24 No.858069359 : Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:54:36 No.858069366 >>858068662 (OP)# For me, it was when I got into a really bad car crash and suffered really bad dain bramage.
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:41:24 No.858068662 What finally convinced you that the Earth is flat? NAP UF THE FLAT E 349 KB PNG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:51:42 No.858069207 : Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:54:24 No.858069359 : Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:54:36 No.858069366 >>858068662 (OP)# For me, it was when I got into a really bad car crash and suffered really bad dain bramage.

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Anon plays CoD | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)09:09:54 No.6438688E >>64386505 (OP) # >Play, on 360 >With friend >late-night cod >His headset goes, so he has to use kinect and has to use TV-volume >"S---! Don't talk; My TV is loud" >Realise I have mere milliseconds, before he sorts it out. >ohyes.png >"F--- N------ F--- N------ F--- N------" >Put mic in mouth, and start making thunder-screams >Hear thudding, from friends' mic >Door slams open >"TURN THAT F------ S--- OFF NOW" >Hear arguing >silence >Anon has left the party >Tearsoflaughter.jpeg >Mom barges into my room >Same thing happens. >Couldn't sleep, due to laughter
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)09:09:54 No.6438688E >>64386505 (OP) # >Play, on 360 >With friend >late-night cod >His headset goes, so he has to use kinect and has to use TV-volume >"S---! Don't talk; My TV is loud" >Realise I have mere milliseconds, before he sorts it out. >ohyes.png >"F--- N------ F--- N------ F--- N------" >Put mic in mouth, and start making thunder-screams >Hear thudding, from friends' mic >Door slams open >"TURN THAT F------ S--- OFF NOW" >Hear arguing >silence >Anon has left the party >Tearsoflaughter.jpeg >Mom barges into my room >Same thing happens. >Couldn't sleep, due to laughter

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Anons gf has a penis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:38:49 No.858065060 f--- f--- f--- >be me earlier this week >me and gf take each other's virginity >it's great >I wouldn't trade this 265 KB PNG moment for anything >go home >start to notice I feel kinda sick >think ok whatever, probably just worn out >next day >very nauseous, have to piss a ton, have an extra bloody s---, tired as all hell >google it >pregnancy symptoms >doesn't go away Holy f--- /b/ did my gf get me pregnant? Does the baby come out the ass or the d--- hole? I swear her penis isn't even as big as mine! E Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:41:03 No.858065190 >>858065060 (OP) # *snap* this ones going to r/greentext 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:41:24 No.858065204 151 KB PNG : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:43:13 No.858065326 Get me in the pic you f------ d--- birthers
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:38:49 No.858065060 f--- f--- f--- >be me earlier this week >me and gf take each other's virginity >it's great >I wouldn't trade this 265 KB PNG moment for anything >go home >start to notice I feel kinda sick >think ok whatever, probably just worn out >next day >very nauseous, have to piss a ton, have an extra bloody s---, tired as all hell >google it >pregnancy symptoms >doesn't go away Holy f--- /b/ did my gf get me pregnant? Does the baby come out the ass or the d--- hole? I swear her penis isn't even as big as mine! E Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:41:03 No.858065190 >>858065060 (OP) # *snap* this ones going to r/greentext 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:41:24 No.858065204 151 KB PNG : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:43:13 No.858065326 Get me in the pic you f------ d--- birthers

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Anon needs help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:19:17 No.858056299 For 20 years, not a single girl has paid attention to me.My attempts at dating ended in failure. I didn't kiss the girl and I didn't have sex. It's a shame that youth passes while all my friends change their girlfriend and 30 KB JPG even choose which one to f--- What could be the reason? 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:20:49 No.858056404 You're a f----- : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:20:56 No.858056411 you're an anthropomorphic frog. : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:23:57 No.858056605 >Bad luck >You're ugly af >You're annoying af >All of the above Most of the time it's just bad luck.
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:19:17 No.858056299 For 20 years, not a single girl has paid attention to me.My attempts at dating ended in failure. I didn't kiss the girl and I didn't have sex. It's a shame that youth passes while all my friends change their girlfriend and 30 KB JPG even choose which one to f--- What could be the reason? 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:20:49 No.858056404 You're a f----- : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:20:56 No.858056411 you're an anthropomorphic frog. : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:23:57 No.858056605 >Bad luck >You're ugly af >You're annoying af >All of the above Most of the time it's just bad luck.

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Anon seeks revenge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)10:26:36 No.64381495 >you made me spill my ice cream and pulled my shorts down in the 3rd grade >now your wrists will be broken and the flesh shall be removed from your legs leaving you forever naked as you left me that cold winter 71 KB JPG morning Let the games begin
: Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)10:26:36 No.64381495 >you made me spill my ice cream and pulled my shorts down in the 3rd grade >now your wrists will be broken and the flesh shall be removed from your legs leaving you forever naked as you left me that cold winter 71 KB JPG morning Let the games begin

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Anon takes a sip | /r/Greentext

>doing a presentation at work >get a little nervous >take a sip from my water bottle >forgot the cap was on >hold it like I'm drinking for a couple of seconds >let it down >continue speaking >start hearing chuckling from co-workers
>doing a presentation at work >get a little nervous >take a sip from my water bottle >forgot the cap was on >hold it like I'm drinking for a couple of seconds >let it down >continue speaking >start hearing chuckling from co-workers

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Anon plays the forest | /r/Greentext


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This is my first post on this sub so be nice please anons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)21:28:33 No.24491974 >head of the department asks me to run a cross company meeting that is to happen next Monday ??? ??? because he will be on vacation >I decline and tell him I do not feel comfortable at all, I do not have 88 KB PNG people skills and having to run a company wide meeting will be extremely nervewracking for me >He is like, ok >40 minutes later, he messages me again and tells me that I have to do it, because he is the head of the department and he says so, and also it's my responsibility as a senior engineer >mfw I hear for the 1st time that I am a "senior engineer" since my title is just "developer" Should I report this to hr ?
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)21:28:33 No.24491974 >head of the department asks me to run a cross company meeting that is to happen next Monday ??? ??? because he will be on vacation >I decline and tell him I do not feel comfortable at all, I do not have 88 KB PNG people skills and having to run a company wide meeting will be extremely nervewracking for me >He is like, ok >40 minutes later, he messages me again and tells me that I have to do it, because he is the head of the department and he says so, and also it's my responsibility as a senior engineer >mfw I hear for the 1st time that I am a "senior engineer" since my title is just "developer" Should I report this to hr ?

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