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Anon seeks revenge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)10:26:36 No.64381495 >you made me spill my ice cream and pulled my shorts down in the 3rd grade >now your wrists will be broken and the flesh shall be removed from your legs leaving you forever naked as you left me that cold winter 71 KB JPG morning Let the games begin
: Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)10:26:36 No.64381495 >you made me spill my ice cream and pulled my shorts down in the 3rd grade >now your wrists will be broken and the flesh shall be removed from your legs leaving you forever naked as you left me that cold winter 71 KB JPG morning Let the games begin

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Anon takes a sip | /r/Greentext

>doing a presentation at work >get a little nervous >take a sip from my water bottle >forgot the cap was on >hold it like I'm drinking for a couple of seconds >let it down >continue speaking >start hearing chuckling from co-workers
>doing a presentation at work >get a little nervous >take a sip from my water bottle >forgot the cap was on >hold it like I'm drinking for a couple of seconds >let it down >continue speaking >start hearing chuckling from co-workers

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Anon plays the forest | /r/Greentext


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This is my first post on this sub so be nice please anons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)21:28:33 No.24491974 >head of the department asks me to run a cross company meeting that is to happen next Monday ??? ??? because he will be on vacation >I decline and tell him I do not feel comfortable at all, I do not have 88 KB PNG people skills and having to run a company wide meeting will be extremely nervewracking for me >He is like, ok >40 minutes later, he messages me again and tells me that I have to do it, because he is the head of the department and he says so, and also it's my responsibility as a senior engineer >mfw I hear for the 1st time that I am a "senior engineer" since my title is just "developer" Should I report this to hr ?
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)21:28:33 No.24491974 >head of the department asks me to run a cross company meeting that is to happen next Monday ??? ??? because he will be on vacation >I decline and tell him I do not feel comfortable at all, I do not have 88 KB PNG people skills and having to run a company wide meeting will be extremely nervewracking for me >He is like, ok >40 minutes later, he messages me again and tells me that I have to do it, because he is the head of the department and he says so, and also it's my responsibility as a senior engineer >mfw I hear for the 1st time that I am a "senior engineer" since my title is just "developer" Should I report this to hr ?

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Reject sex, embrace /fit/ | /r/Greentext

File: 1614692548823.jpg (78 KB, 1024x934) Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)16:03:36 No.24490134 >>24490144 >>24490152 >>24490159 >hang out with my bros and some girls they invited >hit it off with a girl >get her number >party ends and everyone starts leaving >girl asks me to her place >i ate like s--- the whole night and want to keep up with my /fit/ness goals >decide that i already have her number so its cool >say no and do a HIIT routine for the few miles back to my house >texted her the next day and she hasnt responded in a week why am i so autistic
File: 1614692548823.jpg (78 KB, 1024x934) Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)16:03:36 No.24490134 >>24490144 >>24490152 >>24490159 >hang out with my bros and some girls they invited >hit it off with a girl >get her number >party ends and everyone starts leaving >girl asks me to her place >i ate like s--- the whole night and want to keep up with my /fit/ness goals >decide that i already have her number so its cool >say no and do a HIIT routine for the few miles back to my house >texted her the next day and she hasnt responded in a week why am i so autistic

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anon gives up on easy money | /r/Greentext

File: iguess.jpg (98 KB, 1200x675) I Tried Starting a Gaming Channel on Youtube Anonyme >>561979107 >>561979485 >>561980305 >>561980546 >>561981078 >>561 >>561992256 >>561993692 >>561994204 >>561994751 >561996217>>561 >Too close to mic >Too far from mic >Recording has echo >PC fan revs up >Plane goes by >Car Honks >Have to edit the video >Have to edit the audio >Have to come up with a title >Have to Learn SEO so my video shows up in search results >Do all this & have to make a thumbnail that if it's not good nobody will click on the video even if it's 10/10 >All for a handful of views I'm not gonna make it you guys.
File: iguess.jpg (98 KB, 1200x675) I Tried Starting a Gaming Channel on Youtube Anonyme >>561979107 >>561979485 >>561980305 >>561980546 >>561981078 >>561 >>561992256 >>561993692 >>561994204 >>561994751 >561996217>>561 >Too close to mic >Too far from mic >Recording has echo >PC fan revs up >Plane goes by >Car Honks >Have to edit the video >Have to edit the audio >Have to come up with a title >Have to Learn SEO so my video shows up in search results >Do all this & have to make a thumbnail that if it's not good nobody will click on the video even if it's 10/10 >All for a handful of views I'm not gonna make it you guys.

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Anon goes to the toilet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)16:52:15 No.64379797 > be me > have to take an once in a year shut at work cuz I ate some botched food. > the seat is warm Pic related. 15 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)16:53:10 No.64379806 >>64379797 (OP) # should have s--- your pants retard
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)16:52:15 No.64379797 > be me > have to take an once in a year shut at work cuz I ate some botched food. > the seat is warm Pic related. 15 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)16:53:10 No.64379806 >>64379797 (OP) # should have s--- your pants retard

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Anon has a rooster | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/29/21 (Tue)09:03:29 No.3850478 >be married >wife "rescue" a baby chicken >he was kind of cute >FF 4 months >now I have a full grown rooster on my yard >whenever we go to the backyard 11 KB PNG this m----------- tries to peck us to death How do I make this stupid bird respect me?
: Anonymous 06/29/21 (Tue)09:03:29 No.3850478 >be married >wife "rescue" a baby chicken >he was kind of cute >FF 4 months >now I have a full grown rooster on my yard >whenever we go to the backyard 11 KB PNG this m----------- tries to peck us to death How do I make this stupid bird respect me?

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Anon sees boobs | /r/Greentext


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Anon makes food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:57:48 No.858038952 >make grilled cheese >accidentally use horseradish instead of mayo Do I still eat this s--- or not? 441 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:59:00 No.858039029 >>858038952 (OP) # yes. eat the sandwich you made retard
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:57:48 No.858038952 >make grilled cheese >accidentally use horseradish instead of mayo Do I still eat this s--- or not? 441 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:59:00 No.858039029 >>858038952 (OP) # yes. eat the sandwich you made retard

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Anons mom is a certified M.I.L.F | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/19(Wed)18:08:42 No.789551842 Sorry for bad english >Be me ,born in France,Norwegian mother and French father >My mom is a smoking hot cliché blonde bimbo >Knew only one man in her life, my dad (very religious) >Life is good, grow up ,luv my mommy 489 KB JPG and have many friends >Mom comes at my school very often to help with schooltrips ,museum trips and all >Older boys start talking to me, no idea why >One day, I learn from a girl in my class that pretty much all boys in the school fap to my mom and that they talk to me so they can come over to my house for her >Tell her about it >Tell her to stop inviting them >doesn't really understand but agrees >Skip forward a few years >My mom invite friends to come over for a surprise birthday party >Absolute nightmare , we're now teenagers full of hormones and i can see the look on their face when they see my mom >Mommy is totally oblivious to the fact everyone wants to bang her >Friends help her with every house chores >One of them openly gropes her >She just laughs and brush it off >Confront her about it >But anon, they're so happy to come over to your nice house , they're not as lucky as you are (most of my friends are almost street children)! >One day , i get a 0 because i was absent for an exam >Mom comes to meet my teacher WHILE WE'RE IN CLASS WITH HIM >Everyone lose their s--- >"That's anon mom" >"Damn she's hot" >Even the teacher is flirting with her >Tells me i have a very beautiful mom once she's gone >Same evening, go on snapchat >Pictures of my mom's ass and t--- on everyone's story with lewd captions >still have doubts that she could have done something sexual with one my friends out of pity. >I finally break and become a full fledged degenerate ,start having thoughts of my mom getting gangbanged by my friends and my teachers >Addicted to mom ntr now >Get rock hard everytime someone says "I f----- your mom" or something like that as a joke What the f--- is wrong with me , I f------ hate myself now but this s--- arouse me so much
: Anonymous 01/09/19(Wed)18:08:42 No.789551842 Sorry for bad english >Be me ,born in France,Norwegian mother and French father >My mom is a smoking hot cliché blonde bimbo >Knew only one man in her life, my dad (very religious) >Life is good, grow up ,luv my mommy 489 KB JPG and have many friends >Mom comes at my school very often to help with schooltrips ,museum trips and all >Older boys start talking to me, no idea why >One day, I learn from a girl in my class that pretty much all boys in the school fap to my mom and that they talk to me so they can come over to my house for her >Tell her about it >Tell her to stop inviting them >doesn't really understand but agrees >Skip forward a few years >My mom invite friends to come over for a surprise birthday party >Absolute nightmare , we're now teenagers full of hormones and i can see the look on their face when they see my mom >Mommy is totally oblivious to the fact everyone wants to bang her >Friends help her with every house chores >One of them openly gropes her >She just laughs and brush it off >Confront her about it >But anon, they're so happy to come over to your nice house , they're not as lucky as you are (most of my friends are almost street children)! >One day , i get a 0 because i was absent for an exam >Mom comes to meet my teacher WHILE WE'RE IN CLASS WITH HIM >Everyone lose their s--- >"That's anon mom" >"Damn she's hot" >Even the teacher is flirting with her >Tells me i have a very beautiful mom once she's gone >Same evening, go on snapchat >Pictures of my mom's ass and t--- on everyone's story with lewd captions >still have doubts that she could have done something sexual with one my friends out of pity. >I finally break and become a full fledged degenerate ,start having thoughts of my mom getting gangbanged by my friends and my teachers >Addicted to mom ntr now >Get rock hard everytime someone says "I f----- your mom" or something like that as a joke What the f--- is wrong with me , I f------ hate myself now but this s--- arouse me so much

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anon vs werwolf girl | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:19:57 No.858023762 File: 08C950EB-5D26-4477-ABFF-0(.).jpg (16 KB, 484x634) >>858023839 >be me >school holidays >werewolf chick texts me >conversation >turns into fight >says she's gonna kill me when school is back on >fuckyouare.jpeg >come to school with knife in bag in case I get jumped >chilling in hallway >someone says she's outside and wants me >go out, no f----- way she steppin on me >she's there >slowly extends hand with knife in >"Anon... kill me..." >??????? >hell nah bih >leave >she stalks me all day Still idk tf went on Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)15:21:43 No.858023839 >>858023762 kinky
O Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:19:57 No.858023762 File: 08C950EB-5D26-4477-ABFF-0(.).jpg (16 KB, 484x634) >>858023839 >be me >school holidays >werewolf chick texts me >conversation >turns into fight >says she's gonna kill me when school is back on >fuckyouare.jpeg >come to school with knife in bag in case I get jumped >chilling in hallway >someone says she's outside and wants me >go out, no f----- way she steppin on me >she's there >slowly extends hand with knife in >"Anon... kill me..." >??????? >hell nah bih >leave >she stalks me all day Still idk tf went on Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)15:21:43 No.858023839 >>858023762 kinky

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Anon is worried | /r/Greentext


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Jarvis, pronounce certain vowels according to racial stereotypes | /r/Greentext

library.jpg (19 KB, 376x396) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous (ID: 2dsY+yyg) 118 minutes ago No.108470073 >rive in asian country >every day dreamu about go to america to study at best universities in worrd >study so hard, finarry get accepted >be in university >tink about how i can make dis worrd better, buird tings, sorve probrems >time for finar examerus >go to ribrary to study >suddenry group of baka- brack rives matter d-------- storm in >chimparu outaru >shouting so roud, cannot study >dey onry here because of affirmative action, studying brack history and other s----tier humanities >makeru me so angry >sad westerners stand back, in fear of social excrusion from being carred racist >rearize my destiny >must save da western worrd myserf >srowry, i rise >i stride to chimp brigade >'hey" >'hey" >'HEY" >the room goes sirent >as subtle and as sharp as the forded steer of mighty katana, my words srice tru sirence >'dis is ribrary" >dey stand in sirence >dey giant rips hang rimp >do not know what to do >dey cannot carru me "white deviru" >dey cannot carru me racist >dey stand defeated >the grorious asian race will triumph in endu--
library.jpg (19 KB, 376x396) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous (ID: 2dsY+yyg) 118 minutes ago No.108470073 >rive in asian country >every day dreamu about go to america to study at best universities in worrd >study so hard, finarry get accepted >be in university >tink about how i can make dis worrd better, buird tings, sorve probrems >time for finar examerus >go to ribrary to study >suddenry group of baka- brack rives matter d-------- storm in >chimparu outaru >shouting so roud, cannot study >dey onry here because of affirmative action, studying brack history and other s----tier humanities >makeru me so angry >sad westerners stand back, in fear of social excrusion from being carred racist >rearize my destiny >must save da western worrd myserf >srowry, i rise >i stride to chimp brigade >'hey" >'hey" >'HEY" >the room goes sirent >as subtle and as sharp as the forded steer of mighty katana, my words srice tru sirence >'dis is ribrary" >dey stand in sirence >dey giant rips hang rimp >do not know what to do >dey cannot carru me "white deviru" >dey cannot carru me racist >dey stand defeated >the grorious asian race will triumph in endu--

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Anon watches TV | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)23:03:59 No.49538955 >watching TV or movie >sex joke is made >everyone is about to laugh until they stop and think "Wait, anon is a virgin, he can't relate to that. He probably doesn't even know about that. Better not laugh, better suppress laughter and avoid eye contact. We can't 64 KB JPG share a laugh about this." I'm always that guy. Not just with jokes, just any time something sexual comes up. I can tell everyone wants to go "But...you...don't...know anything about that." : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)23:06:04 No.49538981 you are mentally ill. no one does that.
: Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)23:03:59 No.49538955 >watching TV or movie >sex joke is made >everyone is about to laugh until they stop and think "Wait, anon is a virgin, he can't relate to that. He probably doesn't even know about that. Better not laugh, better suppress laughter and avoid eye contact. We can't 64 KB JPG share a laugh about this." I'm always that guy. Not just with jokes, just any time something sexual comes up. I can tell everyone wants to go "But...you...don't...know anything about that." : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)23:06:04 No.49538981 you are mentally ill. no one does that.

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Anon is going bald | /r/Greentext


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anon meets werwolf | /r/Greentext

File: 30A57178-4OE5-47C9-967C-4(.).png (145 KB, 550x550) O Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)14:07:18 No.858020520 >>858020749 >>858021379 Alright /b/, I've been waiting to tell this >be me >14 >year 9 - 10 >chick at our school >no friends >hisses and growls at people >legitimately believes she's a werewolf >absolute weirdo >one day, walking with friend at lunchtime >see werewolf chick >friend turns to me > just don't talk to her, don't get yourself into it, I warned you" >lonely girl >desperate >anime werewolf girl? >diamond in the rough? >idea.jpeg >introduce myself, she was hanging out in a hangout area right next to a lake, under a bridge >"Hey werewolf chick, why are you all the way down here?" >"I'm talking with my brother..." >huh.wav >no one else there > "where is he?" >"my brother is the wind, idiot" >thefuckinwhat >"you're talking with the wind?" >"he's my brother, I can hear him" >ohfuck >l was warned There's a lot more s--- this chick said and did, she was f----- insane /b/, if you want more, I can supply
File: 30A57178-4OE5-47C9-967C-4(.).png (145 KB, 550x550) O Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)14:07:18 No.858020520 >>858020749 >>858021379 Alright /b/, I've been waiting to tell this >be me >14 >year 9 - 10 >chick at our school >no friends >hisses and growls at people >legitimately believes she's a werewolf >absolute weirdo >one day, walking with friend at lunchtime >see werewolf chick >friend turns to me > just don't talk to her, don't get yourself into it, I warned you" >lonely girl >desperate >anime werewolf girl? >diamond in the rough? >idea.jpeg >introduce myself, she was hanging out in a hangout area right next to a lake, under a bridge >"Hey werewolf chick, why are you all the way down here?" >"I'm talking with my brother..." >huh.wav >no one else there > "where is he?" >"my brother is the wind, idiot" >thefuckinwhat >"you're talking with the wind?" >"he's my brother, I can hear him" >ohfuck >l was warned There's a lot more s--- this chick said and did, she was f----- insane /b/, if you want more, I can supply

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Anon makes a power move | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)13:44:24 No.858011798 >match with women on dating apps >send dismissive comments like you mistook them for a t----- >make them seethe and destroy their confidence >??? 293 KB JPG >profit Bonus points for not believing them when they tell you they aren't trans, making them guess why you thought they were trans, "I could have sworn I saw an Adam's apple in your pics," accusing them of transphobia when they rage, asking if they're still down to f---, etc Remember - keep it subtle.
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)13:44:24 No.858011798 >match with women on dating apps >send dismissive comments like you mistook them for a t----- >make them seethe and destroy their confidence >??? 293 KB JPG >profit Bonus points for not believing them when they tell you they aren't trans, making them guess why you thought they were trans, "I could have sworn I saw an Adam's apple in your pics," accusing them of transphobia when they rage, asking if they're still down to f---, etc Remember - keep it subtle.

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Anon fights an infestation | /r/Greentext

>have pubic lice (crabs) D>no shampoo works >decide to get some fire ants and place on pubes to fight the crabs >they scrap for a bit >they both have established strongholds on the opposite ends 2 KB JPG of my jungle >to the north lie the wiley crabs of pubendorf >to the south lie the barbaric fire ants of fort scrotum >one morning notice a fire ant on horseback riding towards the crabs stronghold >look closer >its a f------ threaty of alliance F--- f--- their joining sides!!! There is a rumble in my jungle and i dont what to do about it
>have pubic lice (crabs) D>no shampoo works >decide to get some fire ants and place on pubes to fight the crabs >they scrap for a bit >they both have established strongholds on the opposite ends 2 KB JPG of my jungle >to the north lie the wiley crabs of pubendorf >to the south lie the barbaric fire ants of fort scrotum >one morning notice a fire ant on horseback riding towards the crabs stronghold >look closer >its a f------ threaty of alliance F--- f--- their joining sides!!! There is a rumble in my jungle and i dont what to do about it

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Anon makes Stacy seethe | /r/Greentext


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