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Anon likes July | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)11:59:44 No.858123155 >great day >get ready for work >its july 1st >f------ no more 35 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)11:59:44 No.858123155 >great day >get ready for work >its july 1st >f------ no more 35 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon is black | /r/Greentext


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Anon realizes something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)19:57:44 No.858119259 Guys I think I cracked the code, here is the key to success: >step one: be female >step two: success 232 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)19:57:44 No.858119259 Guys I think I cracked the code, here is the key to success: >step one: be female >step two: success 232 KB JPG

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he has 1 million moves | /r/Greentext

File: 208334369_654480969281739(.).jpg (22 KB, 720x424) O Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)15:27:38 No.858102375 >barges into Smash, uninvited >completely wrecks everything >refuses to elaborate further >doesn't leave when will you accept that he is the winner of smash
File: 208334369_654480969281739(.).jpg (22 KB, 720x424) O Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)15:27:38 No.858102375 >barges into Smash, uninvited >completely wrecks everything >refuses to elaborate further >doesn't leave when will you accept that he is the winner of smash

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Anon gets shooked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)08:50:33 No.784277994 So I just found out my sister is a furry >be me >in my room, playing vidya, hanging out >parents aren't home 25 KB JPG >sister in her room >idea.jpg >have a hockey mask and machete >decide to burst into her room and scare her >get mask on and grab weapon >go to her room >kick door open holding machete >immediately drop it an freeze >my sister is completely naked, masturbating >see furry p--- on her laptop >she tries to cover up and close the laptop >"w-- anon!" >say nothing >too shocked to speak >slowly back out and close the door >pick up machete and walk to my room This happened like 3 minutes ago what do I do?
: Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)08:50:33 No.784277994 So I just found out my sister is a furry >be me >in my room, playing vidya, hanging out >parents aren't home 25 KB JPG >sister in her room >idea.jpg >have a hockey mask and machete >decide to burst into her room and scare her >get mask on and grab weapon >go to her room >kick door open holding machete >immediately drop it an freeze >my sister is completely naked, masturbating >see furry p--- on her laptop >she tries to cover up and close the laptop >"w-- anon!" >say nothing >too shocked to speak >slowly back out and close the door >pick up machete and walk to my room This happened like 3 minutes ago what do I do?

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Anon visits Mexico | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)00:48:39 No.858081795 File: taco.png (143 KB, 224x259) >>858082028 >>858081063 >At family retreat in mexico >friends family comes along >3rd night we're there >friends mom and dad get really drunk and go to bed >everyone else is asleep in the house >go to start j------- in the friends parents bathroom >start edging and get crazy horny >always wanted to f--- my friends mom. She's got huge t--- and a fat ass >sneak into her room horny out of my mind >start to softly grab her t--- >reach down to her ass and stick my full hand in her pants and panties >feel around until she starts to move >l pull out quick and drop to the ground >she says her sons name and I freeze >Army crawl out of the room as fast as I can and run and lay down on the couch I was sleeping on >she comes in and asks her son if he was in her room >he says no which makes her say huh well ok and leave >mfw my c--- is still throbbing I c-- over this thought for years after and then realize how close I was to ruining my entire life.
Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)00:48:39 No.858081795 File: taco.png (143 KB, 224x259) >>858082028 >>858081063 >At family retreat in mexico >friends family comes along >3rd night we're there >friends mom and dad get really drunk and go to bed >everyone else is asleep in the house >go to start j------- in the friends parents bathroom >start edging and get crazy horny >always wanted to f--- my friends mom. She's got huge t--- and a fat ass >sneak into her room horny out of my mind >start to softly grab her t--- >reach down to her ass and stick my full hand in her pants and panties >feel around until she starts to move >l pull out quick and drop to the ground >she says her sons name and I freeze >Army crawl out of the room as fast as I can and run and lay down on the couch I was sleeping on >she comes in and asks her son if he was in her room >he says no which makes her say huh well ok and leave >mfw my c--- is still throbbing I c-- over this thought for years after and then realize how close I was to ruining my entire life.

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Femanon buys cider | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45991336 35 perccel ezelőt .. >be me >24yo femanon >qt 17yo boys outside tesco ask me to buy them cider >hatch plan >walk into tesco and grab the cider >approach qt employee >explain that i saw my abusive bf outside >"don't worry, you can leave through the back door" >thank him >pay for the cider with the teenagers' money 67,4 kB JPG >leave out back door >drink the cider by the canal and browse 4chan on a local cafe's wifi >mfw 3 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 45991336 35 perccel ezelőt .. >be me >24yo femanon >qt 17yo boys outside tesco ask me to buy them cider >hatch plan >walk into tesco and grab the cider >approach qt employee >explain that i saw my abusive bf outside >"don't worry, you can leave through the back door" >thank him >pay for the cider with the teenagers' money 67,4 kB JPG >leave out back door >drink the cider by the canal and browse 4chan on a local cafe's wifi >mfw 3 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon studied thermodynamics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)14:53:14 No.64392409 >see autistic roommate filling ice- tray >tell him not to pour ice in the sink or else it'll clog the drain >he looks at me with panicked dear-eyes and asks if he's been doing that 58 KB JPG >mfw ice melts
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)14:53:14 No.64392409 >see autistic roommate filling ice- tray >tell him not to pour ice in the sink or else it'll clog the drain >he looks at me with panicked dear-eyes and asks if he's been doing that 58 KB JPG >mfw ice melts

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mfw its hot! | /r/Greentext

File: poggers.jpg (50 KB, 778x778) O Anonymous 04/28/19(Sun)18:02:23 No.798464277 [Reply] >be me >5 yrs old >in kitchen >watch mom cook >looks at hotplate >about to touch it >mom stop me and says "it's very hot don't touch it" >looks at her and proceeds either way >mfw it's hot
File: poggers.jpg (50 KB, 778x778) O Anonymous 04/28/19(Sun)18:02:23 No.798464277 [Reply] >be me >5 yrs old >in kitchen >watch mom cook >looks at hotplate >about to touch it >mom stop me and says "it's very hot don't touch it" >looks at her and proceeds either way >mfw it's hot

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What a turn of events... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)16:57:33 No.858096614 >be me >at girlfriends house >too scared to drink water Doesn't feel good throughout the day because I don't know what to do with my glass afterwards 15 KB PNG >don't care because I don't even feel that thirsty >a few days of this and I haven't shat yet >haha yeah it's going to be a huge log, hope I don't block the toilet >feel an uncomfortable weight... today's the day >toilet door has no lock so I have to finish quickly >get in, sit down, and push >no movement >push like crazy >still no movement >panic is beginning to set in >eventually work the tip out but by now l'm exhausted >everything's trembling and my legs feel numb >I'm well past the point of no return >take a second to compose myself before pushing with everything I have >it's working but I can feel my anus protesting >push towards the promise of relief >an explosion of pain and relief tells me it's over >look down between my legs >blood all over the bowl >stand up to get a good look at everything >blood drips all over the floor I'm lying in bed right now and my a------ hurts a lot. Any ideas what to do?
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)16:57:33 No.858096614 >be me >at girlfriends house >too scared to drink water Doesn't feel good throughout the day because I don't know what to do with my glass afterwards 15 KB PNG >don't care because I don't even feel that thirsty >a few days of this and I haven't shat yet >haha yeah it's going to be a huge log, hope I don't block the toilet >feel an uncomfortable weight... today's the day >toilet door has no lock so I have to finish quickly >get in, sit down, and push >no movement >push like crazy >still no movement >panic is beginning to set in >eventually work the tip out but by now l'm exhausted >everything's trembling and my legs feel numb >I'm well past the point of no return >take a second to compose myself before pushing with everything I have >it's working but I can feel my anus protesting >push towards the promise of relief >an explosion of pain and relief tells me it's over >look down between my legs >blood all over the bowl >stand up to get a good look at everything >blood drips all over the floor I'm lying in bed right now and my a------ hurts a lot. Any ideas what to do?

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Anon makes women seethe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)13:44:24 No.858011798 >match with women on dating apps >send dismissive comments like you mistook them for a t----- >make them seethe and destroy their confidence >??? 293 KB JPG >profit Bonus points for not believing them when they tell you they aren't trans, making them guess why you thought they were trans, "I could have sworn I saw an Adam's apple in your pics," accusing them of transphobia when they rage, asking if they're still down to f---, etc Remember - keep it subtle.
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)13:44:24 No.858011798 >match with women on dating apps >send dismissive comments like you mistook them for a t----- >make them seethe and destroy their confidence >??? 293 KB JPG >profit Bonus points for not believing them when they tell you they aren't trans, making them guess why you thought they were trans, "I could have sworn I saw an Adam's apple in your pics," accusing them of transphobia when they rage, asking if they're still down to f---, etc Remember - keep it subtle.

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anon becomes you | /r/Greentext

File: MPZSC-tf_400x400.jpg (17 KB, 311 x311) Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)10:38:16 No.858089739 >>858090384 >be me >Nevermind >You will never be me >. bitch! >> Anonymous 07/01/21 (Thu)10:46:32 No.858090118 >> Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)10:48:03 No.858090176 ► >> Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)10:49:43 No.858090251 ► >> Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)10:50:43 No.858090297 Anonymous 07/01/21 (Thu)10:52:08 No.858090358 Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)10:52:47 No.858090384 File: 1624934376350. gif (374 KB, 112x112) >>858090588 >>858089739 (OP) >Be me >Jealous I can't be you >cut your skin off >wear it like a fursuit >Mfw I'm you
File: MPZSC-tf_400x400.jpg (17 KB, 311 x311) Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)10:38:16 No.858089739 >>858090384 >be me >Nevermind >You will never be me >. bitch! >> Anonymous 07/01/21 (Thu)10:46:32 No.858090118 >> Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)10:48:03 No.858090176 ► >> Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)10:49:43 No.858090251 ► >> Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)10:50:43 No.858090297 Anonymous 07/01/21 (Thu)10:52:08 No.858090358 Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)10:52:47 No.858090384 File: 1624934376350. gif (374 KB, 112x112) >>858090588 >>858089739 (OP) >Be me >Jealous I can't be you >cut your skin off >wear it like a fursuit >Mfw I'm you

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Anon goes on Pornhub | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)01:05:57 No.858082723 >on pornhun >know omegle has a p--- version >type omegle in search bar >content you searched may contain children in it Am I on a list now
>> Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)01:05:57 No.858082723 >on pornhun >know omegle has a p--- version >type omegle in search bar >content you searched may contain children in it Am I on a list now

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Anon is straight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)14:49:08 No.858042195 >pride month is over >boyfriend still sucking my d--- gguys is he gay? I don't know how to tell him but l'm straight. 445 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)14:49:08 No.858042195 >pride month is over >boyfriend still sucking my d--- gguys is he gay? I don't know how to tell him but l'm straight. 445 KB JPG

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Anon gets radicalised | /r/Greentext

File: E3UmtBtVEBA2HKh.jpg (55 KB, 521x680) O Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)12:57:54 No.64389104 [Reply] >be me >2008 >high school >holocaust day >show & tell assignment >had spent 2 months researching about jewish practices >prepare a full report on how the world could have changed if we embraced jewish practices, starting by ritual baths and how they prevented the jews from getting sick during the great plague >bring box full of homemade soaps to explain the ritual practice + sciences of bathing >"your turn anon" >walk towards the whiteboard with a box full of soaps >Jewish kid gasps in horror as he sees the soap >"NAZI NAZI NAZIII!" >Jewlet starts speaking in torah as he foams from mouth >starts convulsing while speaking yiddish pleading for his life to not get thrown into the camps >the whole classroom drags me out >"consider yourself expelled anon, you nazi" >2 f------ months worth of research to the trash >l could take bullying >l could take not having a gf >even lacking friends >now this, this was too much >something in me broke that day Hate jews since then.
File: E3UmtBtVEBA2HKh.jpg (55 KB, 521x680) O Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)12:57:54 No.64389104 [Reply] >be me >2008 >high school >holocaust day >show & tell assignment >had spent 2 months researching about jewish practices >prepare a full report on how the world could have changed if we embraced jewish practices, starting by ritual baths and how they prevented the jews from getting sick during the great plague >bring box full of homemade soaps to explain the ritual practice + sciences of bathing >"your turn anon" >walk towards the whiteboard with a box full of soaps >Jewish kid gasps in horror as he sees the soap >"NAZI NAZI NAZIII!" >Jewlet starts speaking in torah as he foams from mouth >starts convulsing while speaking yiddish pleading for his life to not get thrown into the camps >the whole classroom drags me out >"consider yourself expelled anon, you nazi" >2 f------ months worth of research to the trash >l could take bullying >l could take not having a gf >even lacking friends >now this, this was too much >something in me broke that day Hate jews since then.

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Anon is a 4channer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)16:19:21 No.858083450 > be me > use an irrelevant Pepe for my greentext so people know l'm a 4chin hackerman > make sure I start my story with >be me 28 KB JPG > post on reddit and get lots of upvotes because it'll then be funny when I use 4chin references.jpg > booba > f--- I hate reddit
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)16:19:21 No.858083450 > be me > use an irrelevant Pepe for my greentext so people know l'm a 4chin hackerman > make sure I start my story with >be me 28 KB JPG > post on reddit and get lots of upvotes because it'll then be funny when I use 4chin references.jpg > booba > f--- I hate reddit

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California Burnin’ | /r/Greentext

12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No.152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >>152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down
12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No.152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >>152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down

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Anons sister isn’t a weeb | /r/Greentext

File: tumblr_static_tumblr stat(..).jpg (28 KB, 500x281) Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)18:20:13 No.784287841 [Reply] story time /b/ >be me >16 >sister finds out I watch anime >she thinks all anime is hentai >threatens to tell parents >think it'll scare me into doing whatever she tells me >ldontgiveafuck.jpg >tells parents >they start calling me a weeb >sister is p----- I'm not being severely punished >dad say's he honestly doesn't give a s--- >mfw he used to watch anime when he was my age >mfw my sister didn't talk to anyone for a week
File: tumblr_static_tumblr stat(..).jpg (28 KB, 500x281) Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)18:20:13 No.784287841 [Reply] story time /b/ >be me >16 >sister finds out I watch anime >she thinks all anime is hentai >threatens to tell parents >think it'll scare me into doing whatever she tells me >ldontgiveafuck.jpg >tells parents >they start calling me a weeb >sister is p----- I'm not being severely punished >dad say's he honestly doesn't give a s--- >mfw he used to watch anime when he was my age >mfw my sister didn't talk to anyone for a week

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Anon proves himself the true autist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)23:19:35 No.858073933 >be me >5th grade >well established autist, everyone knows who i am >feels great >middle of school year >kid named kevin moves to our THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE 12 KB JPG school >but im named kevin >new kevin is just as retarded >somehow becomes the most popular kid in school in his first few days >sad >for some reason, people think we should fight >f--- it >pick a day after school >everyone shows up >kevin 2 and i get ready to fight >it is time >start circling around each other >decide to start off with my ultimate attack >bring my arm back and charge >release >slap the f--- out of kevin 2 in the cheek >he stops, staring in shock >starts to cry and runs off >all of my classmates just kinda walk off disappointed >at school 5 weeks later >kevin 2 hasn't shown up since the fight >turns out he switched schools >everything went back to normal >mfw
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)23:19:35 No.858073933 >be me >5th grade >well established autist, everyone knows who i am >feels great >middle of school year >kid named kevin moves to our THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE 12 KB JPG school >but im named kevin >new kevin is just as retarded >somehow becomes the most popular kid in school in his first few days >sad >for some reason, people think we should fight >f--- it >pick a day after school >everyone shows up >kevin 2 and i get ready to fight >it is time >start circling around each other >decide to start off with my ultimate attack >bring my arm back and charge >release >slap the f--- out of kevin 2 in the cheek >he stops, staring in shock >starts to cry and runs off >all of my classmates just kinda walk off disappointed >at school 5 weeks later >kevin 2 hasn't shown up since the fight >turns out he switched schools >everything went back to normal >mfw

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Anon pulls a sneaky | /r/Greentext

No.723560076 53 minutes ago JPG 23.9 KIB 495x495 >be me >14 y/o > school uses white boards > replace white board marker ink with permanent marker ink > Bio class > teacher happens to teach human reproduction on that day > Live in a pretty conservative country so it is a taboo topic > draws huge c--- on the board > class over > next teacher comes in > tries to erase the board > class laughs > my autism kicks in > "Ma'am stop rubbing the penis" > She loses it > principal's office > She doesn't know I replaced the ink > Lets me go >I go back and see 3 bottles of acetone from the chem lab > successfully wasted time and resources
No.723560076 53 minutes ago JPG 23.9 KIB 495x495 >be me >14 y/o > school uses white boards > replace white board marker ink with permanent marker ink > Bio class > teacher happens to teach human reproduction on that day > Live in a pretty conservative country so it is a taboo topic > draws huge c--- on the board > class over > next teacher comes in > tries to erase the board > class laughs > my autism kicks in > "Ma'am stop rubbing the penis" > She loses it > principal's office > She doesn't know I replaced the ink > Lets me go >I go back and see 3 bottles of acetone from the chem lab > successfully wasted time and resources

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