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Anon gets laid | /r/Greentext

File: meme78.png (26 KB, 140x131) O Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)14:29:22 No.64295459 >robot >kissless handholdless >chick from work actually seems to like me >go to a bar and get drunk >back to my place >making out shitsactuallygoinggood.mpeg >getting naked >about to do the sex >worried l'll finish fast >heard if you count the strokes in your head, it would distract you from c------ >do that >finish >she starts acting weird and leaves butwhyyy.zip >says it was really weird that I was yelling out numbers >counted all the way to about 750 might have the tism
File: meme78.png (26 KB, 140x131) O Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)14:29:22 No.64295459 >robot >kissless handholdless >chick from work actually seems to like me >go to a bar and get drunk >back to my place >making out shitsactuallygoinggood.mpeg >getting naked >about to do the sex >worried l'll finish fast >heard if you count the strokes in your head, it would distract you from c------ >do that >finish >she starts acting weird and leaves butwhyyy.zip >says it was really weird that I was yelling out numbers >counted all the way to about 750 might have the tism

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Anon dates his friends ex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)18:55:55 No.64306678 >finally get a gf >my friend's ex >he doesn't mind >everything seems cool >just found out they made a fetish video when they were dating >features her in bondage getting 121 KB GIF spanked >was uploaded to multiple p--- sites >everyone but me knew about it Now I always feel awkward as f--- whenever I hang out with the dude. It's also weird whenever I chill at someone's house and both my gf and her ex/my friend are there. I feel like everyone is secretly judging me. : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)18:59:38 No.64306717 >>64306678 (OP) # >7billion people on earth >dates his friends ex Youre actually pathetic
: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)18:55:55 No.64306678 >finally get a gf >my friend's ex >he doesn't mind >everything seems cool >just found out they made a fetish video when they were dating >features her in bondage getting 121 KB GIF spanked >was uploaded to multiple p--- sites >everyone but me knew about it Now I always feel awkward as f--- whenever I hang out with the dude. It's also weird whenever I chill at someone's house and both my gf and her ex/my friend are there. I feel like everyone is secretly judging me. : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)18:59:38 No.64306717 >>64306678 (OP) # >7billion people on earth >dates his friends ex Youre actually pathetic

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Anon works at Nintendo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)13:35:31 No.857648287 This video contains content from Nintendo, who has blocked it on copyright grounds. 0:00 / 0:00 とげとげタルめいろ"スーパードンキーコ ング2" 6M views 9 years ago 211K 1.4K Save taia777 SUBSCRIBE 65.5K subscribers 2C36A64F-0375-49A3-91DF-8F77FB3E6982.jpg 100 KB JPG >be me >work at Nintendo >see infamous video on YouTube of a song from old Nintendo game >comments about mental health and peoples lives >people are actually having fun and enjoying themselves >tfw song is being promoted as well as letting people enjoy themselves >daddy Reggie sees this >orders me to strike the video or else l'll be whipped again >delete it while trembling >tfw Nintendo loves their community and wants to give back
: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)13:35:31 No.857648287 This video contains content from Nintendo, who has blocked it on copyright grounds. 0:00 / 0:00 とげとげタルめいろ"スーパードンキーコ ング2" 6M views 9 years ago 211K 1.4K Save taia777 SUBSCRIBE 65.5K subscribers 2C36A64F-0375-49A3-91DF-8F77FB3E6982.jpg 100 KB JPG >be me >work at Nintendo >see infamous video on YouTube of a song from old Nintendo game >comments about mental health and peoples lives >people are actually having fun and enjoying themselves >tfw song is being promoted as well as letting people enjoy themselves >daddy Reggie sees this >orders me to strike the video or else l'll be whipped again >delete it while trembling >tfw Nintendo loves their community and wants to give back

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Anon is assembling a team | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Im assembling a team 06/25/21(Fri)19:01:35 No.64306738 Only the best 36 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)19:03:09 No.64306747 >well well well, look what the kitty cat dragged in my door. I guess you won't stand a chance without me >im in 54 KB JPG Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)19:03:53 No.64306757 >>64306738 (OP) # You're putting togesser a team you say? 134 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)19:07:57 No.64306798 >I told you l'm done with that life >but...if shes really in danger then... I will do what I must 482 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)19:16:24 No.64306885 >you crazy mofo you know i have a family now... >f--- ok but this is the LAST one! promise me no b------- this time 33 KB JPG
: Anonymous Im assembling a team 06/25/21(Fri)19:01:35 No.64306738 Only the best 36 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)19:03:09 No.64306747 >well well well, look what the kitty cat dragged in my door. I guess you won't stand a chance without me >im in 54 KB JPG Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)19:03:53 No.64306757 >>64306738 (OP) # You're putting togesser a team you say? 134 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)19:07:57 No.64306798 >I told you l'm done with that life >but...if shes really in danger then... I will do what I must 482 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)19:16:24 No.64306885 >you crazy mofo you know i have a family now... >f--- ok but this is the LAST one! promise me no b------- this time 33 KB JPG

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So money and she doesn't know it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)08:00:21 No.62181826 >>62176150 # That's nothing > Be me > Walk to appartment complex's 7 KB PNG front door > 8/10 Qtpie > Says "Hello. How was your day?" > F-fine, hbu? Thanks fir asking. I answer. > "Are you going to (...)'s party too?" she says. > No, I live here. > She begins saying weird s--- as the door opens. >Tfw. I see she's on the phone when she turns and walks in. > She clicks on the elevator and looks at me weirdly. > Tfw. she wasn't talking to me the entire time. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa aaaaAaaaAAAAAAaaaa
: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)08:00:21 No.62181826 >>62176150 # That's nothing > Be me > Walk to appartment complex's 7 KB PNG front door > 8/10 Qtpie > Says "Hello. How was your day?" > F-fine, hbu? Thanks fir asking. I answer. > "Are you going to (...)'s party too?" she says. > No, I live here. > She begins saying weird s--- as the door opens. >Tfw. I see she's on the phone when she turns and walks in. > She clicks on the elevator and looks at me weirdly. > Tfw. she wasn't talking to me the entire time. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa aaaaAaaaAAAAAAaaaa

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Anon wants to kill people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)10:51:04 No.857639150 >be me a year ago >say I was going to kill a bunch of рeople >someone notified the FBI >Family gets calls from special agent >i never heard anything >mfw I unironically might have an 89 KB JPG | FBI agent
: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)10:51:04 No.857639150 >be me a year ago >say I was going to kill a bunch of рeople >someone notified the FBI >Family gets calls from special agent >i never heard anything >mfw I unironically might have an 89 KB JPG | FBI agent

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We're all retards here but OP is like a super saiyan retard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous = 06/25/21(Fri)08:52:25 No.64299551 >one that came out of the vagina that also has a vagina will be my gf if I destroy my being and enter the ether then ascend God damn. Is it really that hard to find sex and love these days? 323 KB PNG Wat am do? : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)08:56:51 No.64299590 >>64299551 (OP) # I really can't comprehend what the f--- you just wrote, I don't know if I'm just retarded, you are retarded, or both. Tbh the last option seems most likely to be true >>64299611 #
: Anonymous = 06/25/21(Fri)08:52:25 No.64299551 >one that came out of the vagina that also has a vagina will be my gf if I destroy my being and enter the ether then ascend God damn. Is it really that hard to find sex and love these days? 323 KB PNG Wat am do? : Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)08:56:51 No.64299590 >>64299551 (OP) # I really can't comprehend what the f--- you just wrote, I don't know if I'm just retarded, you are retarded, or both. Tbh the last option seems most likely to be true >>64299611 #

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Anon gets pissed easily | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)11:27:06 No.147389016 >relax on the beach >see a lot of hot teens >remember none of them are virgins >day ruined does this happen in you're c---? 169 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)11:27:06 No.147389016 >relax on the beach >see a lot of hot teens >remember none of them are virgins >day ruined does this happen in you're c---? 169 KB JPG

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Anon is Sun Tzu | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)12:33:09 No.64302671 >psycho girl interested in me >steal someone else's pictures from /p/ and post them on my Instagram >pics of cute girl hanging out >psycho girl sees it >in a fit of rage she starts dating 280 KB JPG one of her simps to make me jealous >act like I don't care and show her a little affection >dumps her simp and starts simping for me again W----- are so disgusting
: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)12:33:09 No.64302671 >psycho girl interested in me >steal someone else's pictures from /p/ and post them on my Instagram >pics of cute girl hanging out >psycho girl sees it >in a fit of rage she starts dating 280 KB JPG one of her simps to make me jealous >act like I don't care and show her a little affection >dumps her simp and starts simping for me again W----- are so disgusting

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Today was a good day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)10:17:32 No.857557947 >be newly 26 year old neet >celebrated my birthday yesterday >go to Burger King for lunch >don't have to spend GBP 'cause it's my birthday >get 3 10 piece nuggets for 1.49 each and 2 things of tendies fries 89 KB PNG >want more but self concious of what the cashier would think so make mom get me a whopper and some more chicken fries and some normal fries >we leave and go home >on the way we pass by a McDonald's, I tell her I need to use the restroom so we stop there >ask if I can get an ice cream cone since it's my birthday >all she has is a 50 so she tells me to give her the change >walk into mcdicks >order 3 Big Macs (they aren't really that big) 3 large fries, 3 large cokes (the Big Macs fries and cokes come in a combo meal), and 20 McNuggets >get back to the car and say sorry >realize I didn't get an ice cream >run back in and get one >eat the whole way home while listening to my mom bitch at me >get home, put an extra large serving of popcorn on the stove >grab a 18oz bag of Fritos to eat while I wait for my popcorn to pop >bring the rest of the Fritos and the popcorn upstairs to eat while I browse 4chan >an hour later we go to Red Robin for my birthday dinner >get wings, nachos, fried pickles, a full onion ring tower + tendies as an appetizer >wash it all down with choccy milk >next order a chili cheeseburger with bottomless steak fries >THE FRIES WEREN'T BOTTOMLESS
: Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)10:17:32 No.857557947 >be newly 26 year old neet >celebrated my birthday yesterday >go to Burger King for lunch >don't have to spend GBP 'cause it's my birthday >get 3 10 piece nuggets for 1.49 each and 2 things of tendies fries 89 KB PNG >want more but self concious of what the cashier would think so make mom get me a whopper and some more chicken fries and some normal fries >we leave and go home >on the way we pass by a McDonald's, I tell her I need to use the restroom so we stop there >ask if I can get an ice cream cone since it's my birthday >all she has is a 50 so she tells me to give her the change >walk into mcdicks >order 3 Big Macs (they aren't really that big) 3 large fries, 3 large cokes (the Big Macs fries and cokes come in a combo meal), and 20 McNuggets >get back to the car and say sorry >realize I didn't get an ice cream >run back in and get one >eat the whole way home while listening to my mom bitch at me >get home, put an extra large serving of popcorn on the stove >grab a 18oz bag of Fritos to eat while I wait for my popcorn to pop >bring the rest of the Fritos and the popcorn upstairs to eat while I browse 4chan >an hour later we go to Red Robin for my birthday dinner >get wings, nachos, fried pickles, a full onion ring tower + tendies as an appetizer >wash it all down with choccy milk >next order a chili cheeseburger with bottomless steak fries >THE FRIES WEREN'T BOTTOMLESS

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Aanndd we start listening to Elton John | /r/Greentext

: learn_french.png (291 KB, 870x700) O Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)11:02:15 No.64302483 >be me >photoshop my butthole into pepe >be you >enjoying the aesthetics of my butthole
: learn_french.png (291 KB, 870x700) O Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)11:02:15 No.64302483 >be me >photoshop my butthole into pepe >be you >enjoying the aesthetics of my butthole

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Anon takes no risks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)05:01:06 No.3840992 495fab06d7c3a9f4b9103033ef665042.jpg 159 KB JPG >present in cities or suburbs >people defend them >literally attack for no f------ reason I cross the street whenever I see these f----, I'm not even going to take the risk.
: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)05:01:06 No.3840992 495fab06d7c3a9f4b9103033ef665042.jpg 159 KB JPG >present in cities or suburbs >people defend them >literally attack for no f------ reason I cross the street whenever I see these f----, I'm not even going to take the risk.

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Anon found her | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)16:51:23 No.59920156 »59920161 >>59920443 >>59921273 >>59921416 File: 1599538524030.jpg (74 KB, 1024x698) >>59920067 (You) >mfw i found her insta with current pics and now she is fatter, with piercings, green hair shaved on the side
O Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)16:51:23 No.59920156 »59920161 >>59920443 >>59921273 >>59921416 File: 1599538524030.jpg (74 KB, 1024x698) >>59920067 (You) >mfw i found her insta with current pics and now she is fatter, with piercings, green hair shaved on the side

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Anon sucks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)10:34:21 No.104432123 >>104428880 (OP) # >I suck (my boyfriend) 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)10:34:21 No.104432123 >>104428880 (OP) # >I suck (my boyfriend) 50 KB JPG

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Anon streaks | /r/Greentext


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Anon feels sick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)20:20:01 No.857594035 I feel sick, bros. It finally happened. > guy had dirt on EPSTEIN and got wasted. ANTIVIRUS CREATOR JOHN MCAFEE FOUND DEAD IN HIS PRISON CELL > Stated if people claim he anheroed then sm1 killed him 609 KB JPG > KNEW his time would come and told everyone to stay WOKE I'm not a conspiracyfag but there's no question about it. Epstein lives and caused this man's death. 28 Replies / 8 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)20:20:01 No.857594035 I feel sick, bros. It finally happened. > guy had dirt on EPSTEIN and got wasted. ANTIVIRUS CREATOR JOHN MCAFEE FOUND DEAD IN HIS PRISON CELL > Stated if people claim he anheroed then sm1 killed him 609 KB JPG > KNEW his time would come and told everyone to stay WOKE I'm not a conspiracyfag but there's no question about it. Epstein lives and caused this man's death. 28 Replies / 8 Images View Thread

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Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)01:25:30 No.857613677 >be me >get a week or so off of work >decide to stay up >end up f------ up my sleep schedule >can't sleep until 2PM now >have to pull all nighters to get to work 294 KB JPG >girl that I was talking to texts me >asleep >she thinks I ghosted her >conversation is full of awkwardness after that >accidentally ghost my friends too >no one knows what happened >sleep through therapy Why am I retarded?
: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)01:25:30 No.857613677 >be me >get a week or so off of work >decide to stay up >end up f------ up my sleep schedule >can't sleep until 2PM now >have to pull all nighters to get to work 294 KB JPG >girl that I was talking to texts me >asleep >she thinks I ghosted her >conversation is full of awkwardness after that >accidentally ghost my friends too >no one knows what happened >sleep through therapy Why am I retarded?

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Anon realizes the cause of the obesity crisis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)10:07:12 No.64302153 >go to regular town for college >can have amazon deliver Whole Foods to my door in one hour and eat healthy >come back to my parents hell hole >the only store is a dollar store with nothing but cookies sugar frozen 405 KB PNG crap processed food and snacks >everyone in the store is obese
: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)10:07:12 No.64302153 >go to regular town for college >can have amazon deliver Whole Foods to my door in one hour and eat healthy >come back to my parents hell hole >the only store is a dollar store with nothing but cookies sugar frozen 405 KB PNG crap processed food and snacks >everyone in the store is obese

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Anon’s friend is a pain in the neck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/05/13(Tue)20:50:44 No.514564416 >Be in 7th >Friend can crack his neck real loud and can turn his head completely sideways >Have a sub during choir >We think it would be funny if he made it look like he snapped his own neck >In between songs he screams out "I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" >Proceeds to make the loudest crack ive ever heard >Falls to the ground >The sub screams and runs out the door >lols were had He then hid in a storage closet and was suspended
Anonymous 11/05/13(Tue)20:50:44 No.514564416 >Be in 7th >Friend can crack his neck real loud and can turn his head completely sideways >Have a sub during choir >We think it would be funny if he made it look like he snapped his own neck >In between songs he screams out "I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" >Proceeds to make the loudest crack ive ever heard >Falls to the ground >The sub screams and runs out the door >lols were had He then hid in a storage closet and was suspended

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Anon poops at school | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)03:25:52 No.856345759 >senior year in hs >take a s--- in the school toilets every morning during first class >pass by the janitor everytime >mfw he knows it's me who nearly clogs the toilet every morning >mfw he avoids my stare ime Tell me your sigmale success stories below
Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)03:25:52 No.856345759 >senior year in hs >take a s--- in the school toilets every morning during first class >pass by the janitor everytime >mfw he knows it's me who nearly clogs the toilet every morning >mfw he avoids my stare ime Tell me your sigmale success stories below

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