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Anon is a biketard | /r/Greentext


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anon tells a funny story | /r/Greentext


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Anon takes the Bootpill | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 64271460 42 min. ago •.. The Bootpill >take motorcycle class >have to wear boots >don't have any >go to big 5 and buy some $20 hiking boots >they give me probably two-three inches of height >think nothing of it >class was two days, both days go to get something to eat after >notice women looking at me both times I'm taking the boot pill. I f------ knew my only problem was I wasn't tall 234.8 kB PNG REPLY
Anonymous | 64271460 42 min. ago •.. The Bootpill >take motorcycle class >have to wear boots >don't have any >go to big 5 and buy some $20 hiking boots >they give me probably two-three inches of height >think nothing of it >class was two days, both days go to get something to eat after >notice women looking at me both times I'm taking the boot pill. I f------ knew my only problem was I wasn't tall 234.8 kB PNG REPLY

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Cicada's confuse anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 857481178 >wait 17 years >wake up >scream for 4 weeks >refuse to elaborate >die 16 REPLIES 3 IMAGES
Anonymous | 857481178 >wait 17 years >wake up >scream for 4 weeks >refuse to elaborate >die 16 REPLIES 3 IMAGES

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Anon has a good stretch | /r/Greentext


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Anon had sex | /r/Greentext


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Doctor.parchment | /r/Greentext

File: plaguedoc jpg (49 KB, 324x569) O Anonymous 02/05/17(Sun)13:18:05 No.721448547 >721449370 >721451328 >be medieval doctor >out in the woods gathering onions and berries for lunch >suddenly encounter with normie man at arms >"oh humus.parchment" >says that I'm in his lordship woods >glad that i'm wearing plague mask to roll my eyes >guard starts to shout at me >villagers gather round >time to do doctoral duty >tell guard that i've found rare herb that reveals if one is with the plague >scoffs in disbelief >tell him to apply herb in thyself >it's curare >he's paralysed >"coupdegrace.tapestry" >tell everyone the guard got the plague >set him on fire >saved villagers >i am a doctor
File: plaguedoc jpg (49 KB, 324x569) O Anonymous 02/05/17(Sun)13:18:05 No.721448547 >721449370 >721451328 >be medieval doctor >out in the woods gathering onions and berries for lunch >suddenly encounter with normie man at arms >"oh humus.parchment" >says that I'm in his lordship woods >glad that i'm wearing plague mask to roll my eyes >guard starts to shout at me >villagers gather round >time to do doctoral duty >tell guard that i've found rare herb that reveals if one is with the plague >scoffs in disbelief >tell him to apply herb in thyself >it's curare >he's paralysed >"coupdegrace.tapestry" >tell everyone the guard got the plague >set him on fire >saved villagers >i am a doctor

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Anon can't keep an erection | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous mom found out my peepee proble(...) 04/09/21(Fri)04:01:41 No.63121036 >be me >very nervous >crippling anxiety makes it impossible to keep an erection infront of a woman >go to the psychiatrist >she gives me tadalafil pills (just better viagra) 9 KB JPG >save them >forget where i saved them >look around for an hour, no clue where they are >think mom saved them >ask mom where did she put the "orange pills" >"what are those orange pills for anon"? >"I.. Uh... I uh uhm have you seen them or not?" >"ANON WHAT ARE THOSE PILLS FOR" >Almost crying from shame, say the truth >"... So have you seen them?" >"No" II >Give it one more shot before giving up >look under my bed >The pills are there I just. I can't. Maybe I shouldn't be able to reproduce, being this retarded
: Anonymous mom found out my peepee proble(...) 04/09/21(Fri)04:01:41 No.63121036 >be me >very nervous >crippling anxiety makes it impossible to keep an erection infront of a woman >go to the psychiatrist >she gives me tadalafil pills (just better viagra) 9 KB JPG >save them >forget where i saved them >look around for an hour, no clue where they are >think mom saved them >ask mom where did she put the "orange pills" >"what are those orange pills for anon"? >"I.. Uh... I uh uhm have you seen them or not?" >"ANON WHAT ARE THOSE PILLS FOR" >Almost crying from shame, say the truth >"... So have you seen them?" >"No" II >Give it one more shot before giving up >look under my bed >The pills are there I just. I can't. Maybe I shouldn't be able to reproduce, being this retarded

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Anon is faithful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)21:54:41 No.857446630 Hello frens: > be me > be single > femanon I like, I ask her is there anything between us > says we just frens > crying_wojak_with_mask.jpg > spend months in the frenzone with her > everytime getting closer but convincing myself 33 КВ ЈPG that I am just in the frenzone > finally she tells me anon, I have something to tell you > we kiss /b/ros, there is hope against the frenzone, the faithful shall be rewarded
: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)21:54:41 No.857446630 Hello frens: > be me > be single > femanon I like, I ask her is there anything between us > says we just frens > crying_wojak_with_mask.jpg > spend months in the frenzone with her > everytime getting closer but convincing myself 33 КВ ЈPG that I am just in the frenzone > finally she tells me anon, I have something to tell you > we kiss /b/ros, there is hope against the frenzone, the faithful shall be rewarded

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Anons are displeased with Marvel | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)20:47:01 No.123946948 >age of ultron >they never tell you how old ultron is O Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)20:48:50 No.123946973 File: 1426388753140.gif (494 KB, 200x200) >infinity war >only lasts 15 minutes O Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)20:49:52 No.123946993 >>123946948 (OP). >Civil War >It's just an airport scuffle.
O Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)20:47:01 No.123946948 >age of ultron >they never tell you how old ultron is O Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)20:48:50 No.123946973 File: 1426388753140.gif (494 KB, 200x200) >infinity war >only lasts 15 minutes O Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)20:49:52 No.123946993 >>123946948 (OP). >Civil War >It's just an airport scuffle.

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Anon becomes a chad | /r/Greentext


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Anon makes a mistake | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/23/21(Wed)02:22:36 No.857462219 >hear people talking about Twitter and how bad it is >fuckit.png >make Twitter account >first tweet I see is a black woman calling a white guy 5 KB JPG "egg boy" >deactivate account
: Anonymous 06/23/21(Wed)02:22:36 No.857462219 >hear people talking about Twitter and how bad it is >fuckit.png >make Twitter account >first tweet I see is a black woman calling a white guy 5 KB JPG "egg boy" >deactivate account

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Anon's grandpa has a stroke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)17:08:23 No.53418817 >grandpa has stroke and falls down the stairs >suffers brain damage and left side of body is paralyzed >can never walk again and has to use a wheelchair >mom is worried that his brain will 8 KB JPG never recOver >he goes to treatment center for recovery >couple of months go by >it's father's day >my parents and I go to treatment center to see grandpa >grandpa gives wrapped gift to my dad >dad opens it >it's a p--- magazine This f------ madlad is going to make a full goddamn recovery. Mark my goddamn words
: Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)17:08:23 No.53418817 >grandpa has stroke and falls down the stairs >suffers brain damage and left side of body is paralyzed >can never walk again and has to use a wheelchair >mom is worried that his brain will 8 KB JPG never recOver >he goes to treatment center for recovery >couple of months go by >it's father's day >my parents and I go to treatment center to see grandpa >grandpa gives wrapped gift to my dad >dad opens it >it's a p--- magazine This f------ madlad is going to make a full goddamn recovery. Mark my goddamn words

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Anon babysits lil bro | /r/Greentext


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The FC and his GF | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/23/21(Wed)07:55:36 No.857432338 >be me >the fart connoisseur >currently seeing this roastie with a 'uge dumper >this bitch got an ass like the back of a semi trailer 42 KB JPG >the smells that come outta this chicks ass are out of this world I tell you >she really enjoys her Mexican food too >burritostacoschimichangas.wav >l buy her as much fart producing Mexican food as she can possibly eat >l'm talking two whole meals and 3-4 sides at Taco Bell with extra spicy sauce >I purposely take a route back to her place that leads into peak hour after work traffic >stuck on the highway in gridlock awaiting my prize >soon enough I can tell she's uncomfortable >she tells me we have to pull over so she can use a bathroom >I tell her to just hold it >eventually she says 'sorry babe' and I begin to smell something >she goes to roll the window down >I stop her and say babe it's cold outside just keep them up I don't mind >success.doublecrunchwrap >l'm literally basking in her farts trying not to inhale deep lungfuls at a time >one round legit made my eyes water it was so pungent >she's visibly embarrassed whilst I'm extremely erect >decide to push my luck and grab her hand and put it on my hard on >she gives me a cheeky look and unzips me and takes my member out >proceeds to fart and jerk me off in traffic for about 20 mins until I nut buckets everywhere >she gets hungry about 2 hours later so I take her to get nachos >be me, the fart connoisseur
: Anonymous 06/23/21(Wed)07:55:36 No.857432338 >be me >the fart connoisseur >currently seeing this roastie with a 'uge dumper >this bitch got an ass like the back of a semi trailer 42 KB JPG >the smells that come outta this chicks ass are out of this world I tell you >she really enjoys her Mexican food too >burritostacoschimichangas.wav >l buy her as much fart producing Mexican food as she can possibly eat >l'm talking two whole meals and 3-4 sides at Taco Bell with extra spicy sauce >I purposely take a route back to her place that leads into peak hour after work traffic >stuck on the highway in gridlock awaiting my prize >soon enough I can tell she's uncomfortable >she tells me we have to pull over so she can use a bathroom >I tell her to just hold it >eventually she says 'sorry babe' and I begin to smell something >she goes to roll the window down >I stop her and say babe it's cold outside just keep them up I don't mind >success.doublecrunchwrap >l'm literally basking in her farts trying not to inhale deep lungfuls at a time >one round legit made my eyes water it was so pungent >she's visibly embarrassed whilst I'm extremely erect >decide to push my luck and grab her hand and put it on my hard on >she gives me a cheeky look and unzips me and takes my member out >proceeds to fart and jerk me off in traffic for about 20 mins until I nut buckets everywhere >she gets hungry about 2 hours later so I take her to get nachos >be me, the fart connoisseur

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Anon meets a welfare queen | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: AG+NKCNK ) 06/22/21(Tue)20:25:00 No.327089237 Story time about a welfare queen I met in a bar >lives in government housing for free >gets most food paid for by the government >claims to work hard, but mostly just sits around collecting checks 36 KB JPG from the government >almost no expenses, spends governmentbux on shoes and other stupid s--- Pic unrelated >Private in the US army
: Anonymous (ID: AG+NKCNK ) 06/22/21(Tue)20:25:00 No.327089237 Story time about a welfare queen I met in a bar >lives in government housing for free >gets most food paid for by the government >claims to work hard, but mostly just sits around collecting checks 36 KB JPG from the government >almost no expenses, spends governmentbux on shoes and other stupid s--- Pic unrelated >Private in the US army

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Anon doesn't like dogs. | /r/Greentext

No.857419334 16 minutes ago deception.png PNG 49.2 KiB 617x450 >walking >angrydog.exe >oh no >run >dog is following me >hug tree >dog gets confused and goes away >unhug tree and run >dog appears again >hug another tree again >dog goes away again >wait >unhug tree again >no dog >go home That was a very weird day in the middle of Arkansas
No.857419334 16 minutes ago deception.png PNG 49.2 KiB 617x450 >walking >angrydog.exe >oh no >run >dog is following me >hug tree >dog gets confused and goes away >unhug tree and run >dog appears again >hug another tree again >dog goes away again >wait >unhug tree again >no dog >go home That was a very weird day in the middle of Arkansas

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Anon sends a photo to a girl | /r/Greentext

/. >first work day in steel industry >i send a girl a snap of me in my work clothes and with my helmet on, my face is full of dust >I write that i am extremely tired and exhausted >she posts the snap on insta where all her stupid friends who never did and most likely will never do any real work make fun of me >"haha im tired too" >"haha your trousers are too big, you should get new ones, they really dont fit you hahahaha" >why the f--- are girls like this? 14m (6/23 0:42) · 64266903 JPG · 4KB · (202 × 250) >>64266632 (OP) She's a dumb w----. Don't bother with her. 8m (6/23 0:48) · 64266965 If you're not lying (doubtful), that's very strange behaviour on her part. I'd cut all contact instantly if a girl did some weird s--- like that.
/. >first work day in steel industry >i send a girl a snap of me in my work clothes and with my helmet on, my face is full of dust >I write that i am extremely tired and exhausted >she posts the snap on insta where all her stupid friends who never did and most likely will never do any real work make fun of me >"haha im tired too" >"haha your trousers are too big, you should get new ones, they really dont fit you hahahaha" >why the f--- are girls like this? 14m (6/23 0:42) · 64266903 JPG · 4KB · (202 × 250) >>64266632 (OP) She's a dumb w----. Don't bother with her. 8m (6/23 0:48) · 64266965 If you're not lying (doubtful), that's very strange behaviour on her part. I'd cut all contact instantly if a girl did some weird s--- like that.

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Anon is french | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)09:59:40 No.857415324 history time >be fwansh >joie de vivre in 1838 >tootling down the street in Paris, looking for a baguette or a harlot >realize your boots are scuffed 19 KB JPG >notice a feces-covered urchin with a shoe-shining stand on a corner >ohlala.daguerrotype >toss the little bastard a franc, stick your boot on his bench, and tell him to go to town >become the first human being ever to be recorded in a photograph >pic related 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)10:01:17 No.857415390 >>857415324 (OP) # that picture looks like s---
: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)09:59:40 No.857415324 history time >be fwansh >joie de vivre in 1838 >tootling down the street in Paris, looking for a baguette or a harlot >realize your boots are scuffed 19 KB JPG >notice a feces-covered urchin with a shoe-shining stand on a corner >ohlala.daguerrotype >toss the little bastard a franc, stick your boot on his bench, and tell him to go to town >become the first human being ever to be recorded in a photograph >pic related 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)10:01:17 No.857415390 >>857415324 (OP) # that picture looks like s---

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Anon has a little brother | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)20:00:56 No.857439822 >little brother says he wants to rub my boobs >I let him >he gets a boner and says he wants to be a girl when he grow up what do I do? 35 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)20:07:06 No.857440203 >>857439822 (OP) # He's probably being molested by the same person that did it to you. Bible says the only way to stop sodomites is to kill them both, victim included Leviticus 20:13 : Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)20:09:10 No.857440320 Get a strap on and give him the ride of his life?
: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)20:00:56 No.857439822 >little brother says he wants to rub my boobs >I let him >he gets a boner and says he wants to be a girl when he grow up what do I do? 35 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)20:07:06 No.857440203 >>857439822 (OP) # He's probably being molested by the same person that did it to you. Bible says the only way to stop sodomites is to kill them both, victim included Leviticus 20:13 : Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)20:09:10 No.857440320 Get a strap on and give him the ride of his life?

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