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Anon gets sexually harassed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)04:24:53 No.62176129 >>62176179 >>62176191 >>62176223 >>62176357 >>62177103 >>62179120 >>62179705 >>62176026 (OP) > mom had friends over > say I'm about to take a shower so the bathroom will be occupied > one of her friends says "let me know if you need any help in there" > mom tells them to stop it but she's laughing > other friend says "yeah gotta make sure you clean EVERYTHING" Why are middle aged women so horny? I'm 20 and staying at home for the summer while at uni.

Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)04:24:53 No.62176129 >>62176179 >>62176191 >>62176223 >>62176357 >>62177103 >>62179120 >>62179705 >>62176026 (OP) > mom had friends over > say I'm about to take a shower so the bathroom will be occupied > one of her friends says "let me know if you need any help in there" > mom tells them to stop it but she's laughing > other friend says "yeah gotta make sure you clean EVERYTHING" Why are middle aged women so horny? I'm 20 and staying at home for the summer while at uni.

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Anon uses 23andme | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 12/11/19(Wed)05:47:18 No.125495590 >The 23andme has returned, I shall finally prove my 100% Anglo genetic history >W-What is this? Five... percent... WELSH? >I STOOD AGHAST AT THE 19 KB JPG PERVERTED REFLECTION OF MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, HANDS TURNED TO SLIMY WEBBED APPENDAGES SECRETING A FOUL SMELLING OILY SUBSTANCE STAINING THE CARPET. EYES SHRIVELLED TO LIZARD-LIKE HUSKS T ATTEMPTED TO SCREAM BUT ALL THAT UTTERED FORTH FROM MY CUPPED MAW WAS THE HORRIFIC CRY OF GHAR'LOPEATH. MINE EARS WOULD HAVE BEEN PIERCED IF THEY HAD NOT RECOILED ENTIRELY INTO THE SKULL LEAVING ME DEAFENED CONFUSED WRITHING ON THE FLOOR

| Anonymous 12/11/19(Wed)05:47:18 No.125495590 >The 23andme has returned, I shall finally prove my 100% Anglo genetic history >W-What is this? Five... percent... WELSH? >I STOOD AGHAST AT THE 19 KB JPG PERVERTED REFLECTION OF MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, HANDS TURNED TO SLIMY WEBBED APPENDAGES SECRETING A FOUL SMELLING OILY SUBSTANCE STAINING THE CARPET. EYES SHRIVELLED TO LIZARD-LIKE HUSKS T ATTEMPTED TO SCREAM BUT ALL THAT UTTERED FORTH FROM MY CUPPED MAW WAS THE HORRIFIC CRY OF GHAR'LOPEATH. MINE EARS WOULD HAVE BEEN PIERCED IF THEY HAD NOT RECOILED ENTIRELY INTO THE SKULL LEAVING ME DEAFENED CONFUSED WRITHING ON THE FLOOR

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Anon takes shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)09:52:18 No.857393448 >be me >18 yo >want to work on holidays in gastronomy >have to make some medical tests >basically have to give them my s--- from 3 different days 325 KB JPG >take 2, forget to take third >last day, two hours before due >do everything to s--- >eat random stuff, drink coffe >nothing works >panic.exe >look at testing stick >is long >decide to shove it up my ass and get the sample fatser >put it in >it doesn't work >put it in as hard as i can >it hurt but didn't work >randomly start s------- little shitballs >mfw I used the wrong formula and got the right answer

: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)09:52:18 No.857393448 >be me >18 yo >want to work on holidays in gastronomy >have to make some medical tests >basically have to give them my s--- from 3 different days 325 KB JPG >take 2, forget to take third >last day, two hours before due >do everything to s--- >eat random stuff, drink coffe >nothing works >panic.exe >look at testing stick >is long >decide to shove it up my ass and get the sample fatser >put it in >it doesn't work >put it in as hard as i can >it hurt but didn't work >randomly start s------- little shitballs >mfw I used the wrong formula and got the right answer

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Anon is big for you | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)04:26:09 No.62176150 File: pepe_spag.jpg (29 KB, 570x421) >>62176164 >>62176167 >>62177219 >>62179418 >>62176026 (OP) >walk in elevator >see a 8/10 miring >wow you're really big >thanks y-you too

Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)04:26:09 No.62176150 File: pepe_spag.jpg (29 KB, 570x421) >>62176164 >>62176167 >>62177219 >>62179418 >>62176026 (OP) >walk in elevator >see a 8/10 miring >wow you're really big >thanks y-you too

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Anon and his secret formula | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)18:50:35 No.64261600 >be me last night >realize I drank one can of beer too many >before my body crashes from exhaustion I must do something >start making some mac n cheese >start brewing some coffee 207 KB PNG >down 5 asprin with my coffee >chase it with the mac n cheese >take a sleeping pill >pass out >wake up just fine with no hangover god damn I am smart. it's as if I never drank anything at all. anyways, god morning bots.

: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)18:50:35 No.64261600 >be me last night >realize I drank one can of beer too many >before my body crashes from exhaustion I must do something >start making some mac n cheese >start brewing some coffee 207 KB PNG >down 5 asprin with my coffee >chase it with the mac n cheese >take a sleeping pill >pass out >wake up just fine with no hangover god damn I am smart. it's as if I never drank anything at all. anyways, god morning bots.

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Anon likes math | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 761zsAma) 05/28/14(Wed)17:03:44 No.548501734 ITT: Embarrassing high school stories. >be me >been feeling like s--- for the last few months >talk to a doctor about it >he writes me a prescription for an antidepressant >it's called anafranil >after a few weeks, the effects start to kick in >feelsgoodman >be sitting in calculus class one day >s---'s boring as f--- >i yawn >instantly get rock hard >feels like i'm about to c-- >wat >overcome by earthshaking orgasm >shake desk back and forth while yelling "OH F--- YES!" >fall out of chair >legs trembling, huge c------- on my pants >everyone looks at me in shock >ask to be excused >later that night, look up side effects of anafranil on wikipedia >it says that 5% of users experience spontaneous orgasms that are triggered by yawning >n---- whut >go to class next day >everyone trying not to laugh as i walk in and sit down >teacher hands out test >look at first question and get huge, throbbing erection >oh god >dat integral sign >dat dy/dx >so f------ hot >my brain has associated calculus with orgasmic bliss >unzip fly and take test while fapping on stealth mode >someone yawns >yawning is contagious >i yawn >itshappening.gif >my c--- erupts like old faithful >sprays fountain of c-- all over my face >mfw i fapped to my calculus test >mfw everyone in school now calls me the mathturbator

Anonymous (ID: 761zsAma) 05/28/14(Wed)17:03:44 No.548501734 ITT: Embarrassing high school stories. >be me >been feeling like s--- for the last few months >talk to a doctor about it >he writes me a prescription for an antidepressant >it's called anafranil >after a few weeks, the effects start to kick in >feelsgoodman >be sitting in calculus class one day >s---'s boring as f--- >i yawn >instantly get rock hard >feels like i'm about to c-- >wat >overcome by earthshaking orgasm >shake desk back and forth while yelling "OH F--- YES!" >fall out of chair >legs trembling, huge c------- on my pants >everyone looks at me in shock >ask to be excused >later that night, look up side effects of anafranil on wikipedia >it says that 5% of users experience spontaneous orgasms that are triggered by yawning >n---- whut >go to class next day >everyone trying not to laugh as i walk in and sit down >teacher hands out test >look at first question and get huge, throbbing erection >oh god >dat integral sign >dat dy/dx >so f------ hot >my brain has associated calculus with orgasmic bliss >unzip fly and take test while fapping on stealth mode >someone yawns >yawning is contagious >i yawn >itshappening.gif >my c--- erupts like old faithful >sprays fountain of c-- all over my face >mfw i fapped to my calculus test >mfw everyone in school now calls me the mathturbator

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anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

> Text to random numbers > They tell me l have the wrong number > "Oh silly me, sorry to bother" > Wait for 2 am > "one day you are going to forget me, but l'm never going to forget you" > Pic related 7h (6/19 11:03) · 64215826 >>64215810 (OP) You are exceeding healthy amounts of trolling

> Text to random numbers > They tell me l have the wrong number > "Oh silly me, sorry to bother" > Wait for 2 am > "one day you are going to forget me, but l'm never going to forget you" > Pic related 7h (6/19 11:03) · 64215826 >>64215810 (OP) You are exceeding healthy amounts of trolling

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Momma's boy | /r/Greentext

Embarrassing/ autistic / straight up retarded stories thread. I'll start >be me >preteen >just started watching p--- 80 KB PNG >see a lot of mom/son p--- >though it was real >though it's just what mommies do to prepare their special boys >one day I asked her "when are we gonna do the stuff that moms and son's do" >she looks at me weirdly "what do you mean anon, what do you wanna do?" >show her the video >she looks at me in disgust >called my dad >get the worst beating in my life

Embarrassing/ autistic / straight up retarded stories thread. I'll start >be me >preteen >just started watching p--- 80 KB PNG >see a lot of mom/son p--- >though it was real >though it's just what mommies do to prepare their special boys >one day I asked her "when are we gonna do the stuff that moms and son's do" >she looks at me weirdly "what do you mean anon, what do you wanna do?" >show her the video >she looks at me in disgust >called my dad >get the worst beating in my life

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anon avoids friendship crisis | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)00:03:53 No.857357771 story from this weekend >be me >18 yo >l go to grill to my friend's house >there are like 7 ppl form my class and one girl from parallel class >one friend made delicious burgers >after burger I started to drink >first some glasses of grog >then some shots of vodka >after some time I got emotional >drunk mode >talk to her that I really like her and she is really nice >start to massage her hand >ffw next day >instantly regret all this >fell like garbage >think out friendship is ruined cos she never considered me as her bf >message her >appology for my behaviour >she is really understanding about this situation >we still friends >mfw crisis avoided

O Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)00:03:53 No.857357771 story from this weekend >be me >18 yo >l go to grill to my friend's house >there are like 7 ppl form my class and one girl from parallel class >one friend made delicious burgers >after burger I started to drink >first some glasses of grog >then some shots of vodka >after some time I got emotional >drunk mode >talk to her that I really like her and she is really nice >start to massage her hand >ffw next day >instantly regret all this >fell like garbage >think out friendship is ruined cos she never considered me as her bf >message her >appology for my behaviour >she is really understanding about this situation >we still friends >mfw crisis avoided

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Anon dies. | /r/Greentext

No.64251757 24 minutes ago mm.jpg JPG 50.2 KiB 750x1000 >be me >die >mfw

No.64251757 24 minutes ago mm.jpg JPG 50.2 KiB 750x1000 >be me >die >mfw

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Anon goes on a cruise | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)12:46:32 No.857309712 /b/ros, state your age, number of sex partners and share sexual memories with me. virgins kys 21, only 9 but there are about 6 or so girls that only wanted to suck my d--- 53 KB JPG >be me >be barely 14 years old >go on family cruise >get a bunch of m------------ to come party with us >debauchery ensues as i snort cocaine for the first time in Cozumel >make out with 5 girls in the process, have two neat make out sessions with two girls swapping turns >a 16 y/o becomes my cruise gf >phat ass, kind of looks like brendan fraser but it's ok, 10/10 for virgin 9th grader >one night she wants to give me a b------ >i get peer pressure and they close the curtain to continue debauchery as she blows me >black dude with pills watches for some reason >dude is f----- his girl next to me in my bed, we all naked >she can't make me c-- and cries >tries the next day and i explode on her face >prolly woulda had sex with her if she didn't drunkenly beat the s--- out of me until there was blood on the sheets for making out with another girl >still talk and she sends pics and vids u ever been on a cruise, bruh? s--- happens.

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)12:46:32 No.857309712 /b/ros, state your age, number of sex partners and share sexual memories with me. virgins kys 21, only 9 but there are about 6 or so girls that only wanted to suck my d--- 53 KB JPG >be me >be barely 14 years old >go on family cruise >get a bunch of m------------ to come party with us >debauchery ensues as i snort cocaine for the first time in Cozumel >make out with 5 girls in the process, have two neat make out sessions with two girls swapping turns >a 16 y/o becomes my cruise gf >phat ass, kind of looks like brendan fraser but it's ok, 10/10 for virgin 9th grader >one night she wants to give me a b------ >i get peer pressure and they close the curtain to continue debauchery as she blows me >black dude with pills watches for some reason >dude is f----- his girl next to me in my bed, we all naked >she can't make me c-- and cries >tries the next day and i explode on her face >prolly woulda had sex with her if she didn't drunkenly beat the s--- out of me until there was blood on the sheets for making out with another girl >still talk and she sends pics and vids u ever been on a cruise, bruh? s--- happens.

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Anon is a tranny | /r/Greentext

Green tea HIGH TEMPERATURE MATTE WIRE NOT REFLECTIVE, NOT BRIGHT, NATURAL, REALISTIC >be guy with long hair >go on omegle >"t-----!" >"t-----" >"t-----" >"t-----" What gives? 3m (6/22 1:05) · 64252621 stop being a t-----, f-- 2m (6/22 1:06) · 64252633 >>64252599 (OP) Having long-hair is effeminate and a sin 14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? 2m (6/22 1:06) · 64252636 >>64252599 (OP) >>be guy with long hair T-----

Green tea HIGH TEMPERATURE MATTE WIRE NOT REFLECTIVE, NOT BRIGHT, NATURAL, REALISTIC >be guy with long hair >go on omegle >"t-----!" >"t-----" >"t-----" >"t-----" What gives? 3m (6/22 1:05) · 64252621 stop being a t-----, f-- 2m (6/22 1:06) · 64252633 >>64252599 (OP) Having long-hair is effeminate and a sin 14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? 2m (6/22 1:06) · 64252636 >>64252599 (OP) >>be guy with long hair T-----

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Anon is a trickster. | /r/Greentext

No.642510971 hour ago 1620842202253.png PNG 118.9 KiB 396x385 >be me >at work >chatting with coworkers >have an idea >randomly look at each them touching around mouth as if trying to tell them "got something on your face face" >they seem insecure, uncomfortable, worried >time to act >walk to serve myself some coffee >as I turn around back at them I make a face like pic related and ask loudly: "wait a minute is that c--?" >men and women turn red as if they sucked d--- I can't believe they all fell for it maybe it's a normie thing to suck d---- no matter what

No.642510971 hour ago 1620842202253.png PNG 118.9 KiB 396x385 >be me >at work >chatting with coworkers >have an idea >randomly look at each them touching around mouth as if trying to tell them "got something on your face face" >they seem insecure, uncomfortable, worried >time to act >walk to serve myself some coffee >as I turn around back at them I make a face like pic related and ask loudly: "wait a minute is that c--?" >men and women turn red as if they sucked d--- I can't believe they all fell for it maybe it's a normie thing to suck d---- no matter what

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Anon got ghosted | /r/Greentext

>ghosted again

>ghosted again

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Anon doesn't have compatible friends | /r/Greentext

>be me, straight-edge, book-lover, excellent student, sometimes watch anime, anything but DragonBall >al my cool friends are mindless idiots who never talk/comprehend anything beyond drinking, smoking, football/soccer, DragonBall and personal drama derived from their current or previous relationships >most of my friends who are actually compatible with me just happen to be gay, extremely poor, live too far or have moved to other cities or abroad so this is what trying to have a social life in your 30s is like, huh...

>be me, straight-edge, book-lover, excellent student, sometimes watch anime, anything but DragonBall >al my cool friends are mindless idiots who never talk/comprehend anything beyond drinking, smoking, football/soccer, DragonBall and personal drama derived from their current or previous relationships >most of my friends who are actually compatible with me just happen to be gay, extremely poor, live too far or have moved to other cities or abroad so this is what trying to have a social life in your 30s is like, huh...

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Anon is a genious | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)20:32:24 No.13305336 >be a genious >work as a cashier 1.26 MB GIF : Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)20:41:21 No.13305354 this is unironically why we need communism >>13305366 # >>13305456 # >>13305902 #

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)20:32:24 No.13305336 >be a genious >work as a cashier 1.26 MB GIF : Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)20:41:21 No.13305354 this is unironically why we need communism >>13305366 # >>13305456 # >>13305902 #

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A Nice pepe | /r/Greentext

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Anon buys a s*x doll | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 10uc4Als 06/21/21(Mon)21:26:40 No.326948022 >have wife >buys doll >doll has a better figure than her and all around hotter >prefer f------ the doll >hey anon l've been hitting the gym >that's nice honey 78 KB JPG >still prefer f------ doll >hey anon I got the outfits you like >lol wife is getting desperate >anon I might be late preparing your full course dinner >w-- woman, you get that dinner on time or no eatting my cummies out of the doll c--- tonight >please anon don't take that from me, l'll get it ready in time >>326948171 # Anonymous (ID: INHRF3×P) 06/21/21(Mon)21:28:00 No.326948171 >>326948022 # based

: Anonymous (ID: 10uc4Als 06/21/21(Mon)21:26:40 No.326948022 >have wife >buys doll >doll has a better figure than her and all around hotter >prefer f------ the doll >hey anon l've been hitting the gym >that's nice honey 78 KB JPG >still prefer f------ doll >hey anon I got the outfits you like >lol wife is getting desperate >anon I might be late preparing your full course dinner >w-- woman, you get that dinner on time or no eatting my cummies out of the doll c--- tonight >please anon don't take that from me, l'll get it ready in time >>326948171 # Anonymous (ID: INHRF3×P) 06/21/21(Mon)21:28:00 No.326948171 >>326948022 # based

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Anon is invincible | /r/Greentext

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Anon makes a twitter account | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)14:50:44 No.857404424 >decide to make twitter account for p--- n' s--- >i finished making the account >suddenly feel weird >my mind is filling with pedophilic t-----, anti white people thoughts and 2 KB JPG pure toxicity and hate >i can feel my mind and humanity slipping away in each minute that passes on >my left arm suddenly begins to on its own >my left hand is making a thread on twitter >" p--------- is a sexuality and anyone who says otherwise is a d------ racist racist homophobe-" >i grab my left and slam it on the desk I with my right and the last shred of humanity i have >my left hand wails around in pain >then i feel i sharp pain around my balls >look down to see my left hand clinging at my c--- and balls >it trys to rip them off >mf is trying to turn me into a t----- >with the worst pain of my life i run to the kitchen >take the pan an hit my left hand multiple times >in the crossfire i hit my balls >it hurts like hell but its better than being a t----- >run back to my laptop >search in settings for deactivate account >find it >deactivate my account >the t-----,pedophilic and anti white people thoughts are leaving my mind >and the toxicity and hate is leaving too >my sanity and humanity is slowly but surely returning to me i was one of the lucky ones

: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)14:50:44 No.857404424 >decide to make twitter account for p--- n' s--- >i finished making the account >suddenly feel weird >my mind is filling with pedophilic t-----, anti white people thoughts and 2 KB JPG pure toxicity and hate >i can feel my mind and humanity slipping away in each minute that passes on >my left arm suddenly begins to on its own >my left hand is making a thread on twitter >" p--------- is a sexuality and anyone who says otherwise is a d------ racist racist homophobe-" >i grab my left and slam it on the desk I with my right and the last shred of humanity i have >my left hand wails around in pain >then i feel i sharp pain around my balls >look down to see my left hand clinging at my c--- and balls >it trys to rip them off >mf is trying to turn me into a t----- >with the worst pain of my life i run to the kitchen >take the pan an hit my left hand multiple times >in the crossfire i hit my balls >it hurts like hell but its better than being a t----- >run back to my laptop >search in settings for deactivate account >find it >deactivate my account >the t-----,pedophilic and anti white people thoughts are leaving my mind >and the toxicity and hate is leaving too >my sanity and humanity is slowly but surely returning to me i was one of the lucky ones

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