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Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext

File: Realization.jpg (15 KB, 381x235) O Anonymous 09/30/15(Wed)23:53:33 No.7562667 >>7562679 >>7562693 >>7562704 >>7562715 "realization Oh god oh god, I F----- UP /sci/. I really f----- up this time. >Usually return scripts in alphabetized, more or less evenly split piles so students can get them easier. >Students start lining up. >Hear mutterings about the piles not being organized. >Students start moving to other piles. >Asians are all finding their tests in one pile. >Blacks all finding their tests in their pile. >Whites in their pile. >Realize I still have the piles categorized according to student race. >Forgot to reorganize them in race blind alphabetized piles. >People noticed and looked extremely angry. >With what campus culture is someone is bound to make a huge out of this. What the f--- do I do /sci/? Organizing according to race is just something I always do before I start marking. It makes it easier to spot cheaters because friends always copy.
File: Realization.jpg (15 KB, 381x235) O Anonymous 09/30/15(Wed)23:53:33 No.7562667 >>7562679 >>7562693 >>7562704 >>7562715 "realization Oh god oh god, I F----- UP /sci/. I really f----- up this time. >Usually return scripts in alphabetized, more or less evenly split piles so students can get them easier. >Students start lining up. >Hear mutterings about the piles not being organized. >Students start moving to other piles. >Asians are all finding their tests in one pile. >Blacks all finding their tests in their pile. >Whites in their pile. >Realize I still have the piles categorized according to student race. >Forgot to reorganize them in race blind alphabetized piles. >People noticed and looked extremely angry. >With what campus culture is someone is bound to make a huge out of this. What the f--- do I do /sci/? Organizing according to race is just something I always do before I start marking. It makes it easier to spot cheaters because friends always copy.

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Anon gets blackout drunk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/10/21(Thu)13:30:59 No.20125044 Not a girl but my r--- story >be me 18 >Going out to party with trens >We allways go to the same bar >Free drinks and all >Get in a drinkin contest >Ended up Black out drinks outside the bar >Wake up to a Guy sucking my D--- >Get scared and ran to the nearst gas station >Call an Uber to Go home >Never think about It again >FWD 4 moths later >My best friend's GF is friends with the f------ Guy >Still scared to randomly bump into that fude F--- my life man
: Anonymous 06/10/21(Thu)13:30:59 No.20125044 Not a girl but my r--- story >be me 18 >Going out to party with trens >We allways go to the same bar >Free drinks and all >Get in a drinkin contest >Ended up Black out drinks outside the bar >Wake up to a Guy sucking my D--- >Get scared and ran to the nearst gas station >Call an Uber to Go home >Never think about It again >FWD 4 moths later >My best friend's GF is friends with the f------ Guy >Still scared to randomly bump into that fude F--- my life man

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Anon defeats the shadowman | /r/Greentext

>>27093470 >boning my gf >doggystyle, she's loving it >my d--- is 7.5in easily >she achieves orgasm (as usual) when 5 KB JPG suddenly I feel like l'm being watched >pubes suddenly stand on end >gf doesn't notice, and I maintain my rhythmic thrusting, making her c-- again with my rock hard 8 incher >but something feels off >reach for my rechargeable Maglite RL1019 and scan the room >gf mumbles "what the f---" as waves of pleasure sweep through her body >a strange sulfuric smell fills the room, smells like the huevos rancheros and refried beans I had for breakfast >I turn around >there's a tall dark figure standing behind me >he wasn't there before >feels like he's feeding off of my virility, like a vampire >panic.jpg >l begin to thrust ferociously >gotta make my gf c-- one more time before dealing with the strange apparition/demon >as gf achieves orgasm (again, as usual), I pull out my solid 9 inch woody and blast my load all over the dark entity >I hear a hiss as the j--- hits his shadowy form and the spectre lets out a piercing cry >once more, the stench of sulfur fills the room >the floor is covered in c-- and a strange black-ish substance >gf asks, "did you f------ fart??" >l tell her it was the shadowman >somehow she didn't see him (paranormal) >"Oh my f------ god Josh did you s--- on the ground?" >it was the shadowman bitch >I swear to god
>>27093470 >boning my gf >doggystyle, she's loving it >my d--- is 7.5in easily >she achieves orgasm (as usual) when 5 KB JPG suddenly I feel like l'm being watched >pubes suddenly stand on end >gf doesn't notice, and I maintain my rhythmic thrusting, making her c-- again with my rock hard 8 incher >but something feels off >reach for my rechargeable Maglite RL1019 and scan the room >gf mumbles "what the f---" as waves of pleasure sweep through her body >a strange sulfuric smell fills the room, smells like the huevos rancheros and refried beans I had for breakfast >I turn around >there's a tall dark figure standing behind me >he wasn't there before >feels like he's feeding off of my virility, like a vampire >panic.jpg >l begin to thrust ferociously >gotta make my gf c-- one more time before dealing with the strange apparition/demon >as gf achieves orgasm (again, as usual), I pull out my solid 9 inch woody and blast my load all over the dark entity >I hear a hiss as the j--- hits his shadowy form and the spectre lets out a piercing cry >once more, the stench of sulfur fills the room >the floor is covered in c-- and a strange black-ish substance >gf asks, "did you f------ fart??" >l tell her it was the shadowman >somehow she didn't see him (paranormal) >"Oh my f------ god Josh did you s--- on the ground?" >it was the shadowman bitch >I swear to god

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Scott Steiner explains futanari. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/16(Sun)05:47:31 No.25727890 >>25727841 # Actually, futa can be made less gay than straight p---. You see straight p--- has one guy and one girl. Because you're fapping to something with one guy in it, that's 50% gay. If you watch a futa f--- a girl, that's one girl and a half girl, thus only 25% gay. You could try to make it 0% gay with two girls, but the problem is that makes them lesbian, which wraps back to being 100% gay. >>25727924 # >>25728322 # >>25729994 # >>25731185 # >25731377 # ST YOUGHEST COMBOY SPIKE
: Anonymous 03/27/16(Sun)05:47:31 No.25727890 >>25727841 # Actually, futa can be made less gay than straight p---. You see straight p--- has one guy and one girl. Because you're fapping to something with one guy in it, that's 50% gay. If you watch a futa f--- a girl, that's one girl and a half girl, thus only 25% gay. You could try to make it 0% gay with two girls, but the problem is that makes them lesbian, which wraps back to being 100% gay. >>25727924 # >>25728322 # >>25729994 # >>25731185 # >25731377 # ST YOUGHEST COMBOY SPIKE

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Anon understands society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)14:07:11 No.64244130 >Go to party/large social situation >Girls literally just sit there and feel no pressure to do anything while the guys engage in constant psychological warfare and competition to be the most fun I hate this 619 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)14:07:11 No.64244130 >Go to party/large social situation >Girls literally just sit there and feel no pressure to do anything while the guys engage in constant psychological warfare and competition to be the most fun I hate this 619 KB JPG

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this is gonna be a classic in 2 years | /r/Greentext


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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

>be on the plane >girl is visibly uncomfortable, scared even >sit on the edge of the seat next to her >are you ok? there's no need to be scared >she tries to calm herself down but it's useless >reach out my hand to her like she's a scared animal >she takes it, her hand is so soft and warm >make small talk, she's better now, smiling, even giggling >have a great conversation, realize how beautiful she is (the kind that you write songs about) > idk how much time has passed, she still hasn't let go of my hand, she's holding it even tighter >she puts my hand on her cheek at some point, i melt >have to get off the plane, she hugs me >tell her to call me >she does, it's awesome >i'm happy >knock on the door >wake up >only a dream >day ruined if i lay in bed and close my eyes i can still feel her hug. so soft and so warm. want to kill myself again
>be on the plane >girl is visibly uncomfortable, scared even >sit on the edge of the seat next to her >are you ok? there's no need to be scared >she tries to calm herself down but it's useless >reach out my hand to her like she's a scared animal >she takes it, her hand is so soft and warm >make small talk, she's better now, smiling, even giggling >have a great conversation, realize how beautiful she is (the kind that you write songs about) > idk how much time has passed, she still hasn't let go of my hand, she's holding it even tighter >she puts my hand on her cheek at some point, i melt >have to get off the plane, she hugs me >tell her to call me >she does, it's awesome >i'm happy >knock on the door >wake up >only a dream >day ruined if i lay in bed and close my eyes i can still feel her hug. so soft and so warm. want to kill myself again

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Anon works as techsupport | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)11:24:51 No.857322579 >be me, working >person calls >asks to access someone else's account (dad's, brother's, son's etc) >tell them they can't access an account that doesn't belong to them & that they should ask the 190 KB JPG account holder to call instead >caller is baffled by this >explodes and starts shouting at me Why is it news to everyone that I can't give them someone else's information and they can't amend someone else's account?
: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)11:24:51 No.857322579 >be me, working >person calls >asks to access someone else's account (dad's, brother's, son's etc) >tell them they can't access an account that doesn't belong to them & that they should ask the 190 KB JPG account holder to call instead >caller is baffled by this >explodes and starts shouting at me Why is it news to everyone that I can't give them someone else's information and they can't amend someone else's account?

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Anon made it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Went from incelly recluse to h(...) 06/21/21(Mon)06:53:54 No.64240991 I sill cant comprehend how the f--- this happened. >another day, mindlessly browsing the internet >some kid from my old school messages me all of a sudden >anon lets link up come to my party 21 KB JPG >think it's a joke, arrange to come but still very suspicious (I'm going outside for the first time in months) >actually have a good time, everyone treats me like a celebrity, get high and drunk and dance with multiple girls >still no ulterior motive detected >fast forward a month or so >ive been going out and going to parties with my new friends literally every single week and having a blast >meeting women and going on late night adventures in my city I think im genuinely ascending bros. Idk how this happened but this is the most love l've felt in a long time. Im not even that religious but this feels like some intervention by God or something. Life is getting better.
: Anonymous Went from incelly recluse to h(...) 06/21/21(Mon)06:53:54 No.64240991 I sill cant comprehend how the f--- this happened. >another day, mindlessly browsing the internet >some kid from my old school messages me all of a sudden >anon lets link up come to my party 21 KB JPG >think it's a joke, arrange to come but still very suspicious (I'm going outside for the first time in months) >actually have a good time, everyone treats me like a celebrity, get high and drunk and dance with multiple girls >still no ulterior motive detected >fast forward a month or so >ive been going out and going to parties with my new friends literally every single week and having a blast >meeting women and going on late night adventures in my city I think im genuinely ascending bros. Idk how this happened but this is the most love l've felt in a long time. Im not even that religious but this feels like some intervention by God or something. Life is getting better.

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Anon is french | /r/Greentext


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Anon plays the most dangerous game | /r/Greentext

0000 connect 4.jpg 37 KB JPG >Valiant effort, Mr. Bond. However, you neglected to look diagonally.
0000 connect 4.jpg 37 KB JPG >Valiant effort, Mr. Bond. However, you neglected to look diagonally.

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Anon detonates toys | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)21:18:11 No.64238733 >walk up to pick up my food from the girl at the register >"OMG can I tell you something" >sure I guess >"You look EXACTLY like the evil little kid from Toy Story" >awkwardly laugh it off and try to escape the interaction 22 KB JPG That one stung a little not gonna lie bros.
: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)21:18:11 No.64238733 >walk up to pick up my food from the girl at the register >"OMG can I tell you something" >sure I guess >"You look EXACTLY like the evil little kid from Toy Story" >awkwardly laugh it off and try to escape the interaction 22 KB JPG That one stung a little not gonna lie bros.

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We were going to build our lives together | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/25/16(Tue)20:11:08 No.75697195 hqdefault_0.jpg 11 KB JPG >oh, you're sad because a girl at your high-school doesn't like you back? Peter, when I was your age, I left school to bullseye g---- from a helicopter in the middle of some god forsaken jungle. Don't tell me you have it hard because you're a pathetic kissless virgin. You can act sad when you have to leave behind the lady-boy you fell in love with and made passionate steamy love to in a collapsing bamboo shack, just like I did. You think I felt good about firebombing his chink village and watching our f----hut burn to the ground? We were going to build our lives together there, Peter! You know what? F--- you. Get the f--- out of my car. >>75697234 # >>75697332 # >>75698895 # >>75702735 #
: Anonymous 10/25/16(Tue)20:11:08 No.75697195 hqdefault_0.jpg 11 KB JPG >oh, you're sad because a girl at your high-school doesn't like you back? Peter, when I was your age, I left school to bullseye g---- from a helicopter in the middle of some god forsaken jungle. Don't tell me you have it hard because you're a pathetic kissless virgin. You can act sad when you have to leave behind the lady-boy you fell in love with and made passionate steamy love to in a collapsing bamboo shack, just like I did. You think I felt good about firebombing his chink village and watching our f----hut burn to the ground? We were going to build our lives together there, Peter! You know what? F--- you. Get the f--- out of my car. >>75697234 # >>75697332 # >>75698895 # >>75702735 #

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Anon gets fucking raped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Share stories you shouldn't re...) 06/21/21(Mon)12:11:05 No.147154827 >Be me, 14 >Parents leave me at Persian family friends house for a week bc funeral > She says "I always wanted a cute blond son :))" >She keeps bear hugging and squeezing me every time I walk past, 6 KB JPG >She gave me tea while we were watching tv >don't remember anything else after that except driving home >MFW >MFW 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous Share stories you shouldn't re...) 06/21/21(Mon)12:11:05 No.147154827 >Be me, 14 >Parents leave me at Persian family friends house for a week bc funeral > She says "I always wanted a cute blond son :))" >She keeps bear hugging and squeezing me every time I walk past, 6 KB JPG >She gave me tea while we were watching tv >don't remember anything else after that except driving home >MFW >MFW 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon witnesses something wholesome | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)21:06:11 No.845348201 >be me >waiting at bus stop >late at night >see crazed looking hobo go behind abortion clinic 136 KB GIF >he digs through garbage can >he finds a fetus >he hugs it >'imma call you.cleetus, cleetus tha fetus' >he looks around >he takes bite of cleetus >mfw that is the sweetest thing i have seen in awhile
: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)21:06:11 No.845348201 >be me >waiting at bus stop >late at night >see crazed looking hobo go behind abortion clinic 136 KB GIF >he digs through garbage can >he finds a fetus >he hugs it >'imma call you.cleetus, cleetus tha fetus' >he looks around >he takes bite of cleetus >mfw that is the sweetest thing i have seen in awhile

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Anon visits McDonald's | /r/Greentext

O Legend of the Plague Doctor Anonymous >Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down street to McDonalds. >Enter, walk to counter. >Hot blond girl turns around and screams. >Put on deep voice. >"DO NOT BE AFRAID, CHILD!" >Wave arms, leap onto counter. >Kickover register and charity jar. >Raise hands into air. >"PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYYI" >Manager storms in, appears angry. >Moonwalk. >Kick fat kid's McFlurry from hands. >"You are fat. You need not this." >Tip hat to manager, jump from counter. >Head for door, see bitch/hot girl from high school. >She has fries, is staring with gaping jaw. >Sprint to her. >Grab her fries, slap her. >Manager shouts, tries to grab hat. >Spin around, slap him across face. >"UNHAND ME, MALE OF BROWN SKIN!" >Sparta kick the door. >Run out of store. >Walk the dinosaur. >Go home, leave without costume. >Return to McDonald's, see sign with "no dogs allowed" stuff. >See picture of plague doctor with cross-out thing on it. >LOL.
O Legend of the Plague Doctor Anonymous >Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down street to McDonalds. >Enter, walk to counter. >Hot blond girl turns around and screams. >Put on deep voice. >"DO NOT BE AFRAID, CHILD!" >Wave arms, leap onto counter. >Kickover register and charity jar. >Raise hands into air. >"PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYYI" >Manager storms in, appears angry. >Moonwalk. >Kick fat kid's McFlurry from hands. >"You are fat. You need not this." >Tip hat to manager, jump from counter. >Head for door, see bitch/hot girl from high school. >She has fries, is staring with gaping jaw. >Sprint to her. >Grab her fries, slap her. >Manager shouts, tries to grab hat. >Spin around, slap him across face. >"UNHAND ME, MALE OF BROWN SKIN!" >Sparta kick the door. >Run out of store. >Walk the dinosaur. >Go home, leave without costume. >Return to McDonald's, see sign with "no dogs allowed" stuff. >See picture of plague doctor with cross-out thing on it. >LOL.

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>Margarine | /r/Greentext

No.16081403 19 hours ago 1596976383675.jpg JPG 58.2 KiB 720x720 >Recipe calls for "butter" >My mom uses "margarine" >Complains about the recipe 5 replies No.16081421 19 hours ago ...
No.16081403 19 hours ago 1596976383675.jpg JPG 58.2 KiB 720x720 >Recipe calls for "butter" >My mom uses "margarine" >Complains about the recipe 5 replies No.16081421 19 hours ago ...

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Anon tries logging In | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)19:03:53 No.857299321 How to login in 2021 >*enter password for website* >"Security code sent to email" >*login to email* >"Security code sent to backup email" >*login to backup email* >"Security code sent to phone" REEEEEE 241 KB PNG >*pickup phone and open text >*input code into backup email* >:Please input new password" >"Must be 9-11 characters" >"Must contain at least 1 lower case" >"Must contain at least 1 capital letter" >"Must contain at least 1 number" >"Must contain at least 1 symbol" >"Cannot contain any letter, number, or symbols previously used" >*make new password* >"Logging in" >*get code* >*login to email* >*get code for website* >*login to original website* >"Unusual account activity, account locked for 24 hours"
: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)19:03:53 No.857299321 How to login in 2021 >*enter password for website* >"Security code sent to email" >*login to email* >"Security code sent to backup email" >*login to backup email* >"Security code sent to phone" REEEEEE 241 KB PNG >*pickup phone and open text >*input code into backup email* >:Please input new password" >"Must be 9-11 characters" >"Must contain at least 1 lower case" >"Must contain at least 1 capital letter" >"Must contain at least 1 number" >"Must contain at least 1 symbol" >"Cannot contain any letter, number, or symbols previously used" >*make new password* >"Logging in" >*get code* >*login to email* >*get code for website* >*login to original website* >"Unusual account activity, account locked for 24 hours"

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Anon is sus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Happy Father’s Day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)18:13:44 No.857283234 >be me >be talking to my dad >he's a taxi driver >he says he had to pick up a off duty cop >Cop and my Dad talk. >long story short >Cop told my dad if he Beats the s--- out of somebody on his property. To drag them off his 255 KB PNG property to get away with it. Thanks for the good information Cool Cop :)
: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)18:13:44 No.857283234 >be me >be talking to my dad >he's a taxi driver >he says he had to pick up a off duty cop >Cop and my Dad talk. >long story short >Cop told my dad if he Beats the s--- out of somebody on his property. To drag them off his 255 KB PNG property to get away with it. Thanks for the good information Cool Cop :)

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