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Anon hates the mob | /r/Greentext

>mob kills my dog >steals my ride >anger levels reach maximum >l will have revenge >dress up >get my gear >search for every single one of those f------ until none is left alive >kill one by one >find their base >slaughter every single one of em >get my horse back >man f--- pillagers >mfw minecraft can be hardcore af sometimes >pic unrelated
>mob kills my dog >steals my ride >anger levels reach maximum >l will have revenge >dress up >get my gear >search for every single one of those f------ until none is left alive >kill one by one >find their base >slaughter every single one of em >get my horse back >man f--- pillagers >mfw minecraft can be hardcore af sometimes >pic unrelated

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OP has an encounter with a biker gang. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)03:26:32 No.857172596 >be me, 7 >live in small desert town a few hours outside of Vegas >local diner is almost always swimming with scary looking bikers >family goes there often because poor >was always scared of the big bearded 243 KB JPG bikers >tried my best to keep my distance >one day at diner, just me and mom >mom leaves me alone to use bathroom >scared a f--- >feel massive hand grab my shoulder and nearly s--- myself Big bearded biker guy takes a seat at my table >"hey kid, I noticed you looked a little scared. Everything ok?" >nervously tell him I'm fine and that my mom is using the bathroom >we start talking about life and I start to loosen up >asks me about school and what I like to do for fun >find out him and his gang are part of BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse) >we talk for a little longer until my mom gets back >they chat a little and he walks off >as he's walking away he turns to me and says “stay in school buddy" and winks at me >never see him again Thank you for the amazing conversation all those years ago Lamar. Because of your kindness I realized that bikers aren't mean and I ended up graduating high school recently. Hope you're doing good sir.
: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)03:26:32 No.857172596 >be me, 7 >live in small desert town a few hours outside of Vegas >local diner is almost always swimming with scary looking bikers >family goes there often because poor >was always scared of the big bearded 243 KB JPG bikers >tried my best to keep my distance >one day at diner, just me and mom >mom leaves me alone to use bathroom >scared a f--- >feel massive hand grab my shoulder and nearly s--- myself Big bearded biker guy takes a seat at my table >"hey kid, I noticed you looked a little scared. Everything ok?" >nervously tell him I'm fine and that my mom is using the bathroom >we start talking about life and I start to loosen up >asks me about school and what I like to do for fun >find out him and his gang are part of BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse) >we talk for a little longer until my mom gets back >they chat a little and he walks off >as he's walking away he turns to me and says “stay in school buddy" and winks at me >never see him again Thank you for the amazing conversation all those years ago Lamar. Because of your kindness I realized that bikers aren't mean and I ended up graduating high school recently. Hope you're doing good sir.

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Anon did(n't) get the answer he was looking for? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)01:24:02 No.857163303 >dating girl with b------- and no ass >fantasize about f------ a girl with small t--- and big ass >fast forward >dating a girl with small t--- and a nice ass 232 KB JPG >fantasize about f------ a girl with b------- What's wrong with me. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)01:26:35 No.857163439 >>857163303 (OP) # Ever tried f------ an underage girl, anon?
: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)01:24:02 No.857163303 >dating girl with b------- and no ass >fantasize about f------ a girl with small t--- and big ass >fast forward >dating a girl with small t--- and a nice ass 232 KB JPG >fantasize about f------ a girl with b------- What's wrong with me. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)01:26:35 No.857163439 >>857163303 (OP) # Ever tried f------ an underage girl, anon?

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anon eats apples | /r/Greentext

File: apples.jpg (57 KB, 460x460) O Anonymous 09/27/19(Fri)17:28:43 No.54597642 [Reply] Enjoying the little things stories? >be me, walking past local market >pass stand with many different apples >desire to eat apple intensifies >select good-looking apple, approach apple lady to pay >"Just the one? You can just have it." >nice early fall day >walk streets eating free apple >it's super juicy and crunchy to the max, 9.5/10 >Thanks, apple lady
File: apples.jpg (57 KB, 460x460) O Anonymous 09/27/19(Fri)17:28:43 No.54597642 [Reply] Enjoying the little things stories? >be me, walking past local market >pass stand with many different apples >desire to eat apple intensifies >select good-looking apple, approach apple lady to pay >"Just the one? You can just have it." >nice early fall day >walk streets eating free apple >it's super juicy and crunchy to the max, 9.5/10 >Thanks, apple lady

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Anon’s brother uses 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)02:38:16 No.64214567 >be SEA jungle asian >introduce brother to 4chan 6 years ago >went to work abroad >fast forward >return home 25 KB JPG >brother is now /pol/ tard >started idolizing Nazis and s--- >creates multiple facebook accounts just to call black people the N word >blames jews for everything >hates shows with black and dark skinned characters >sees females as nothing but "vessels for our seed and genes and nothing else" >doing sieg heils in public >showed me his trump meme collection >showed me his knife collection >starts political discussion every family dinner, throwing political buzzwords that I don't think he really understands I failed as a brother. He became /fit/ f-- too, which I think is the only good thing, I guess? you see this, bro. Please stop it. It's not too late.
: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)02:38:16 No.64214567 >be SEA jungle asian >introduce brother to 4chan 6 years ago >went to work abroad >fast forward >return home 25 KB JPG >brother is now /pol/ tard >started idolizing Nazis and s--- >creates multiple facebook accounts just to call black people the N word >blames jews for everything >hates shows with black and dark skinned characters >sees females as nothing but "vessels for our seed and genes and nothing else" >doing sieg heils in public >showed me his trump meme collection >showed me his knife collection >starts political discussion every family dinner, throwing political buzzwords that I don't think he really understands I failed as a brother. He became /fit/ f-- too, which I think is the only good thing, I guess? you see this, bro. Please stop it. It's not too late.

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Anon is in the middle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/18(Mon)21:23:24 No.774541587 >be me >charming enough for girls to hang out with me >not charming enough for girls to want to date me 22 KB JPG >aware enough to realize that i dont have a chance >autistic enough to keep having in-depth conversations with her in my head It's lonely in the middle.
: Anonymous 07/16/18(Mon)21:23:24 No.774541587 >be me >charming enough for girls to hang out with me >not charming enough for girls to want to date me 22 KB JPG >aware enough to realize that i dont have a chance >autistic enough to keep having in-depth conversations with her in my head It's lonely in the middle.

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anon buys eggs | /r/Greentext


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Anon makes pizza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/18(Sat)03:07:57 No.764293421 >be me >neet loser >hate myself >not good at anything >it's pizza friday >my mom makes the pizza dough, 69 KB JPG and i make the rest of it >mom usually doesn't have pizza >eat my pizza upstairs in my room >tasty.png >go downstairs for more >my mom calls me into her room >"hey anon, i ate some of you pizza, hope you don't mind >whatever.avi >"you make really good pizzas anon. they're the best i've ever tasted" >mom makes my bro try some of the pizza >he loves it aswell >mfw i'm actually OK at something Love you mom.
: Anonymous 03/31/18(Sat)03:07:57 No.764293421 >be me >neet loser >hate myself >not good at anything >it's pizza friday >my mom makes the pizza dough, 69 KB JPG and i make the rest of it >mom usually doesn't have pizza >eat my pizza upstairs in my room >tasty.png >go downstairs for more >my mom calls me into her room >"hey anon, i ate some of you pizza, hope you don't mind >whatever.avi >"you make really good pizzas anon. they're the best i've ever tasted" >mom makes my bro try some of the pizza >he loves it aswell >mfw i'm actually OK at something Love you mom.

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Anon makes a BLT | /r/Greentext

THE OOMER O Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:48:22 No.28923269 E> >>28923581 >28924516 >28925172 >28925768 >>28925780 >>28926786 >>28928512 >Couple months ago >Get random thought in my head "You need to make a BLT with a fried egg on it. The yolk can't be popped, and it needs pepper and salt. Hard BLT. Hard BLT." >Thought won't leave my head, no matter how hard I try to think of other stuff >F--- it O00 >Make the hard BLT >Eat it >00 LOL >Feel oddly refreshed and nourished for the rest of the day >Couple weeks ago now >Been having computer troubles >Internet's piss slow, cuts out all the time, my monitors will turn off randomly >Same type of thought comes back "You need to fill a glass with salt water and put it on your bookshelf." >Hard to explain, but the thought included what specific glass I had to use >Do it >Walking to room, feel overwhelmingly negative presence >Put glass down >Computer's been doing absolutely fine now, no problems at all. Download speed's even gone up. ??? Anyone have any idea what the f--- this is? When I get a thought like that, it sticks in my head and I can't get it out for the life of me. I can forget about things normally if I try to get my mind off them, but not these thoughts.
THE OOMER O Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:48:22 No.28923269 E> >>28923581 >28924516 >28925172 >28925768 >>28925780 >>28926786 >>28928512 >Couple months ago >Get random thought in my head "You need to make a BLT with a fried egg on it. The yolk can't be popped, and it needs pepper and salt. Hard BLT. Hard BLT." >Thought won't leave my head, no matter how hard I try to think of other stuff >F--- it O00 >Make the hard BLT >Eat it >00 LOL >Feel oddly refreshed and nourished for the rest of the day >Couple weeks ago now >Been having computer troubles >Internet's piss slow, cuts out all the time, my monitors will turn off randomly >Same type of thought comes back "You need to fill a glass with salt water and put it on your bookshelf." >Hard to explain, but the thought included what specific glass I had to use >Do it >Walking to room, feel overwhelmingly negative presence >Put glass down >Computer's been doing absolutely fine now, no problems at all. Download speed's even gone up. ??? Anyone have any idea what the f--- this is? When I get a thought like that, it sticks in my head and I can't get it out for the life of me. I can forget about things normally if I try to get my mind off them, but not these thoughts.

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Anon is ashamed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)22:36:51 No.857153602 >be me >16 year old mega virgin >have to do online learning cus of stupid beer virus >once a week get a day to do schoolwork independent of classes >parents aren't home 'cus they're wage slave cucks >youknowwherethisisgoing.mp4 >download p--- game >never really tried p--- games before, curious as hell >quality gameplay ensues >big tiddy women everywhere >whole tíme I'm playing the game with my d--- in my hand >decide not to bust until I complete all paths >5 hours later. >finally finished the game >go to in-game gallery >go to fav scene >finally jerk it >nut more violently than I ever have before >splooge without a care in the world >.png >realize I got nut on my face >mfw >the shame hits me like a f------ bulldozer up the ass >purge the clothes I was wearing >take a shower, can't clean the pain >might kill myself >8/10 game would recommend
Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)22:36:51 No.857153602 >be me >16 year old mega virgin >have to do online learning cus of stupid beer virus >once a week get a day to do schoolwork independent of classes >parents aren't home 'cus they're wage slave cucks >youknowwherethisisgoing.mp4 >download p--- game >never really tried p--- games before, curious as hell >quality gameplay ensues >big tiddy women everywhere >whole tíme I'm playing the game with my d--- in my hand >decide not to bust until I complete all paths >5 hours later. >finally finished the game >go to in-game gallery >go to fav scene >finally jerk it >nut more violently than I ever have before >splooge without a care in the world >.png >realize I got nut on my face >mfw >the shame hits me like a f------ bulldozer up the ass >purge the clothes I was wearing >take a shower, can't clean the pain >might kill myself >8/10 game would recommend

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Anon is overthinking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)09:37:48 No.64200851 >old middle school classmate sends me a happy birthday message after i've made a facebook account >think nothing of it, reply back with a "thank you!" and an emoji 31 KB JPG >a year passes >she sends me another happy birthday message >mfw she cares enough to be nice >mfw her birthday passed and i myself didn't send a message >have a brief moment to think about how much of an unkind f----- i am >reply back, but this time i'll send her a bday message when hers comes this has been going on for three years now, today's the third time she's sent me a happy bday message
: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)09:37:48 No.64200851 >old middle school classmate sends me a happy birthday message after i've made a facebook account >think nothing of it, reply back with a "thank you!" and an emoji 31 KB JPG >a year passes >she sends me another happy birthday message >mfw she cares enough to be nice >mfw her birthday passed and i myself didn't send a message >have a brief moment to think about how much of an unkind f----- i am >reply back, but this time i'll send her a bday message when hers comes this has been going on for three years now, today's the third time she's sent me a happy bday message

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Anon experiments | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)23:51:36 No.857140887 Whats the most painful thing thats ever happened to you? >be me >13 >first day of summer break 18 KB PNG >no one home >about to take shower >decide to stick something up my ass >heard it felt good idk >get a pencil >wrap it up in toilet paper >try to get it in >it wont >try harder >POP >the most painful feeling ever >i start pacing around like a madman from the pain >whimpering >blood dripping down my leg >s--- out a bloody fleshy looking thing >"did i just have my period?" spent the next week having to sit with a pillow on each ass cheek to keep my anus from hurting
: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)23:51:36 No.857140887 Whats the most painful thing thats ever happened to you? >be me >13 >first day of summer break 18 KB PNG >no one home >about to take shower >decide to stick something up my ass >heard it felt good idk >get a pencil >wrap it up in toilet paper >try to get it in >it wont >try harder >POP >the most painful feeling ever >i start pacing around like a madman from the pain >whimpering >blood dripping down my leg >s--- out a bloody fleshy looking thing >"did i just have my period?" spent the next week having to sit with a pillow on each ass cheek to keep my anus from hurting

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Anon writes a message | /r/Greentext


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anon meets based cop | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)18:57:07 No.857120966 [Reply] >>857121356 >be me, 18, eurocuck >apply for firearms license >meeting at my house with police officer >we sit down and he asks me why I want guns >I tell him for hunting and target practice, then make a joke about self defence against BLM rioters >oh s--- what have I said.jpg >officer starts laughing and says "hey man, I'm with you on that one" >eventually talk and realise he's a based guy >he ends up allowing me to have way more guns than usually allowed for a beginner >tells me after a while I can apply for more but to wait because his boss will ask him why so many guns I'm so happy b >> Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)19:04:49 No.857121356
O Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)18:57:07 No.857120966 [Reply] >>857121356 >be me, 18, eurocuck >apply for firearms license >meeting at my house with police officer >we sit down and he asks me why I want guns >I tell him for hunting and target practice, then make a joke about self defence against BLM rioters >oh s--- what have I said.jpg >officer starts laughing and says "hey man, I'm with you on that one" >eventually talk and realise he's a based guy >he ends up allowing me to have way more guns than usually allowed for a beginner >tells me after a while I can apply for more but to wait because his boss will ask him why so many guns I'm so happy b >> Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)19:04:49 No.857121356

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Anon waits for the bus | /r/Greentext

File: 98q3y9r8hfinfi78yyrhirf.jpg (58 KB, 600x400) O Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)02:07:13 No.857092558 I got a story for you fellas >be finishing up restaurant shift in the afternoon >using public transportation because poorfag >go to the bus waiting area >there's an old lady sitting down in one of the seats >l don't mind. Usually just stand up anyways >a couple of minutes go by, just browsing my phone >"Excuse me? Do you know when the bus gets here?" >"Oh I don't know ma'am, it should just be a couple of minutes more" >"I don't have my glasses. Is that the bus over there?" >she gestures towards a few blocks up the road >I squint. It's a bus, but not the usual bus. It's one of those disability buses >"I don't think so ma'am, it's the bus for the.." >"the uh." >I'm tired as s---, and I can't think straight. I don't even remember what to call them at the time >"It's the bus for retarded people" >RETARDED PEOPLE LMAO >mfw her jaw drops >mfw she gives me a dissapointing look and "tsk**tsk*s >mfw SHE GETS ON THE BUS Bus for retarded people Imao So how's everyone's night going?
File: 98q3y9r8hfinfi78yyrhirf.jpg (58 KB, 600x400) O Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)02:07:13 No.857092558 I got a story for you fellas >be finishing up restaurant shift in the afternoon >using public transportation because poorfag >go to the bus waiting area >there's an old lady sitting down in one of the seats >l don't mind. Usually just stand up anyways >a couple of minutes go by, just browsing my phone >"Excuse me? Do you know when the bus gets here?" >"Oh I don't know ma'am, it should just be a couple of minutes more" >"I don't have my glasses. Is that the bus over there?" >she gestures towards a few blocks up the road >I squint. It's a bus, but not the usual bus. It's one of those disability buses >"I don't think so ma'am, it's the bus for the.." >"the uh." >I'm tired as s---, and I can't think straight. I don't even remember what to call them at the time >"It's the bus for retarded people" >RETARDED PEOPLE LMAO >mfw her jaw drops >mfw she gives me a dissapointing look and "tsk**tsk*s >mfw SHE GETS ON THE BUS Bus for retarded people Imao So how's everyone's night going?

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Anon is good with the ladies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)06:33:31 No.64199000 >be me >junior year of high school >have crush on girl that sits across from me >girl smiles and hands me a note one day >the note says I love you in 106 KB PNG spanish >panic and write "I like chickens" or something like that in spanish >hand the note back >she looks at me and smirks >then goes back to working on the assignment What was I supposed to do in this situation? did I f--- up? |
: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)06:33:31 No.64199000 >be me >junior year of high school >have crush on girl that sits across from me >girl smiles and hands me a note one day >the note says I love you in 106 KB PNG spanish >panic and write "I like chickens" or something like that in spanish >hand the note back >she looks at me and smirks >then goes back to working on the assignment What was I supposed to do in this situation? did I f--- up? |

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Anon goes on a run | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: pZoAri+b ) GUYS I F----- UP SO BAD I WANT(...) 06/18/21(Fri)07:46:43 No.37751765 >be me >small business owner >know this business partner for sometime now >two days ago >said business partner invited me on a "business jog" to discuss business 39 KB JPG matters and future steps we should make >tell him that im unfit and will die after 300m >told me not to worry about it if what we will just walk >"better ideas comes around during activities" >sounds good, agree on the offer >meeting day >its 30 Celsius hot af >wear shorts and tshirt >meet up with him in the park and we start running >600m and i already feel like dying but I don't give up >we change pace during the run from fast walk to running again >last 300m to our routes finish line >tell him race me to the finish line >run as fast as i can but he still overtakes me >still i tried my best and since i dont run much im proud that i even finished whole 5km >all wet from sweat like a pig >want to fart >fart >feels good >suddendly next thing i feel something running down my leg >think it just sweat >something starts smelling fishy >look to the leg >mfw literal liquid poo is running down my leg >i got played by my own fart >look my business partner straight in the eyes >remember phrase from /fit/ and tell him dead serious while still looking him into the eyes "if you never shat yourself during sports you are not a king but a jester" >he is visibly disgusted and runs back to his car and drives away without saying anything >tried to call him many times after that and still no answer What do i do guys????? Hes important part of my business because he helps me manage the supply chain of my products and knows many valuable contacts. I cant continue without him
Anonymous (ID: pZoAri+b ) GUYS I F----- UP SO BAD I WANT(...) 06/18/21(Fri)07:46:43 No.37751765 >be me >small business owner >know this business partner for sometime now >two days ago >said business partner invited me on a "business jog" to discuss business 39 KB JPG matters and future steps we should make >tell him that im unfit and will die after 300m >told me not to worry about it if what we will just walk >"better ideas comes around during activities" >sounds good, agree on the offer >meeting day >its 30 Celsius hot af >wear shorts and tshirt >meet up with him in the park and we start running >600m and i already feel like dying but I don't give up >we change pace during the run from fast walk to running again >last 300m to our routes finish line >tell him race me to the finish line >run as fast as i can but he still overtakes me >still i tried my best and since i dont run much im proud that i even finished whole 5km >all wet from sweat like a pig >want to fart >fart >feels good >suddendly next thing i feel something running down my leg >think it just sweat >something starts smelling fishy >look to the leg >mfw literal liquid poo is running down my leg >i got played by my own fart >look my business partner straight in the eyes >remember phrase from /fit/ and tell him dead serious while still looking him into the eyes "if you never shat yourself during sports you are not a king but a jester" >he is visibly disgusted and runs back to his car and drives away without saying anything >tried to call him many times after that and still no answer What do i do guys????? Hes important part of my business because he helps me manage the supply chain of my products and knows many valuable contacts. I cant continue without him

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Anon likes 5th grade | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)12:53:20 No.64207928 >be me >5th grade >have classmate who does f--- all everyday >also have short teacher with even shorter temper >teacher is berating classmate for not 40 KB JPG doing his work >he just sits there silently >teacher continues to berate him >he continues to sit not saying anything >finally she stops >student said something assuming it would be muffled by teacher's banshee screams >classmate tells teacher to shut up thinking nobody would hear >everyone heard >teacher heard >watched him die inside >look at teacher >she's completely red >a moment of silence passes in shock from everyone >teacher explodes in a flurry of louder banshee screams >teachers screams were strong enough to tear classmates skin off his body and shatter glass Nobody liked the kid but seeing him getting violated like that was a sight to behold.
: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)12:53:20 No.64207928 >be me >5th grade >have classmate who does f--- all everyday >also have short teacher with even shorter temper >teacher is berating classmate for not 40 KB JPG doing his work >he just sits there silently >teacher continues to berate him >he continues to sit not saying anything >finally she stops >student said something assuming it would be muffled by teacher's banshee screams >classmate tells teacher to shut up thinking nobody would hear >everyone heard >teacher heard >watched him die inside >look at teacher >she's completely red >a moment of silence passes in shock from everyone >teacher explodes in a flurry of louder banshee screams >teachers screams were strong enough to tear classmates skin off his body and shatter glass Nobody liked the kid but seeing him getting violated like that was a sight to behold.

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Anon has a name | /r/Greentext

R: 4 Why does everyone on here keep calling me anon or OP? My name is Bradley.
R: 4 Why does everyone on here keep calling me anon or OP? My name is Bradley.

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Anon uses conditioner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)07:12:45 No.220268158 >one time in highschool we were on a field trip >washed my hair with new conditioner the night before, hadn't washed my hair all weekend up until that point and the oil from that makes my hair really soft >sleeping in the school bus >Woken up to a girl who routinely teased me stroking my hair >Wow anon this is so soft how do you do it >confused, just start stammering >a couple other girls touch it >feels heavenly It was a different era. >>220268276 # >>220268599 # : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)07:15:03 No.220268276 >>220268158 # >conditioner what a f----- >>220268375 # >>220268396 # >>220268450 # >>220268554 #
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)07:12:45 No.220268158 >one time in highschool we were on a field trip >washed my hair with new conditioner the night before, hadn't washed my hair all weekend up until that point and the oil from that makes my hair really soft >sleeping in the school bus >Woken up to a girl who routinely teased me stroking my hair >Wow anon this is so soft how do you do it >confused, just start stammering >a couple other girls touch it >feels heavenly It was a different era. >>220268276 # >>220268599 # : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)07:15:03 No.220268276 >>220268158 # >conditioner what a f----- >>220268375 # >>220268396 # >>220268450 # >>220268554 #

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