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anon has small pp | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)19:40:19 No.857123081 >be me >creating a character on cyberpunk >decide to make myself >select a pp with the same size as mine >it says "small" why?
O Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)19:40:19 No.857123081 >be me >creating a character on cyberpunk >decide to make myself >select a pp with the same size as mine >it says "small" why?

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Anon gets caught | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/21 (Fri)09:07:21 No.857109388 >be me >be a teenager >horny as f--- >go in the bathroom to take care of something >realize that I've been in there for like 40 minutes (also kill time with reddit after) >mom asks why i was in there for that 32 KB JPG long >say that i lost track of time because i was browsing reddit > she looks at me funny and says ok i think she knows 5 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)09:20:02 No.857109893 We post t----- p--- and n----- hate 'round these parts, partner. : Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)09:23:37 No.857110006 Liberals Will Literally Count The Minutes You're In The Bathroom
: Anonymous 06/18/21 (Fri)09:07:21 No.857109388 >be me >be a teenager >horny as f--- >go in the bathroom to take care of something >realize that I've been in there for like 40 minutes (also kill time with reddit after) >mom asks why i was in there for that 32 KB JPG long >say that i lost track of time because i was browsing reddit > she looks at me funny and says ok i think she knows 5 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)09:20:02 No.857109893 We post t----- p--- and n----- hate 'round these parts, partner. : Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)09:23:37 No.857110006 Liberals Will Literally Count The Minutes You're In The Bathroom

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Mama's gonna keep baby healthy and clean | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2021-06-18 at (...).png (734 KB, 490x613) O She ate my leftovers Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)11:37:48 No.64205016 [Reply] >>64205255 >>64205334 >be me >have a skinny blonde 21yr coworker >sometimes chit chat during break >sit down at lunch together >be full, can't eat anymore >she asks if she can eat my leftovers >be weirded out af >she starts scrapping them off my plate onto hers >she says: >"I don't usually do this, but you look clean anon" this is a good sign right?
File: Screenshot 2021-06-18 at (...).png (734 KB, 490x613) O She ate my leftovers Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)11:37:48 No.64205016 [Reply] >>64205255 >>64205334 >be me >have a skinny blonde 21yr coworker >sometimes chit chat during break >sit down at lunch together >be full, can't eat anymore >she asks if she can eat my leftovers >be weirded out af >she starts scrapping them off my plate onto hers >she says: >"I don't usually do this, but you look clean anon" this is a good sign right?

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Anon loves his big pp. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)16:49:39 No.857113675 >be me be bi >be anti-social for my HS and college life >get a qt gf outta college >she goes crazy bi-polar gets worse her mother hangs herself 353 KB PNG >becomes abusive af tells me l'm s--- and gets in my head >can hardly keep it up during sex cuz she says she's hurt/just looks not into it >feellikearapist.jpg| >We finally break up and I start dating again >Send pp pics with bitches from tinder and twinks from grindr >PP STOCK TO THE MOON >"omg anon I love you c---" "hinng anon be careful you'll kill someone with that thing" >my s----- partner had my mind so warped in hated my own c--- and body >never have another issue with soft pp >mfw l'm starting to love my body again >mfw l'm working out for the first time ever and looking good >mfw it's all because god bestowed me with a big pp thanks god
: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)16:49:39 No.857113675 >be me be bi >be anti-social for my HS and college life >get a qt gf outta college >she goes crazy bi-polar gets worse her mother hangs herself 353 KB PNG >becomes abusive af tells me l'm s--- and gets in my head >can hardly keep it up during sex cuz she says she's hurt/just looks not into it >feellikearapist.jpg| >We finally break up and I start dating again >Send pp pics with bitches from tinder and twinks from grindr >PP STOCK TO THE MOON >"omg anon I love you c---" "hinng anon be careful you'll kill someone with that thing" >my s----- partner had my mind so warped in hated my own c--- and body >never have another issue with soft pp >mfw l'm starting to love my body again >mfw l'm working out for the first time ever and looking good >mfw it's all because god bestowed me with a big pp thanks god

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Anon’s dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)14:55:39 No.64202891 had an oldcel dream again >35 >in some made up dream college >saying bye to some friends before the weekend 56 KB JPG >uh oh >petite ADHD girl who smells like fruit comes up >hey anon >we start talking, she's spazzy and I don't even have to try to think of s--- to say >let's go to this show together >end up going on some kind of 80's adventure movie type thing >we go to a show >we go to an after party >we go to her house because her hillbilly family (she's like some hillbilly nerd) needs help >we go back to my house >think "this is the best day i've had in such a long time" >better not say that out loud >"hey anon" >"hey" >"AND IT'S ALMOST AS IF THE GOVERNMENT CANNOT FGGHUGHGH THE GOVERNMENT FGHGUHH DYSTOPIAN REALITY" >"what?" >"BZZBTZBTZT AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU FEED THEM AND THAT'S THE" I fell alseep listening to to the news again
: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)14:55:39 No.64202891 had an oldcel dream again >35 >in some made up dream college >saying bye to some friends before the weekend 56 KB JPG >uh oh >petite ADHD girl who smells like fruit comes up >hey anon >we start talking, she's spazzy and I don't even have to try to think of s--- to say >let's go to this show together >end up going on some kind of 80's adventure movie type thing >we go to a show >we go to an after party >we go to her house because her hillbilly family (she's like some hillbilly nerd) needs help >we go back to my house >think "this is the best day i've had in such a long time" >better not say that out loud >"hey anon" >"hey" >"AND IT'S ALMOST AS IF THE GOVERNMENT CANNOT FGGHUGHGH THE GOVERNMENT FGHGUHH DYSTOPIAN REALITY" >"what?" >"BZZBTZBTZT AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU FEED THEM AND THAT'S THE" I fell alseep listening to to the news again

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Anon catches a STD | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)05:59:07 No.857102101 >go on date with hot af okc broad >somehow talk her out of her pants >have unbelievable sex and nut in her three times >ask her to be exclusive with each other >"No." When uatafuneral and remember that Buper awesome joke trom eartier I am starting to understand why people kill themselves. 299 KB JPG 13 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)05:59:07 No.857102101 >go on date with hot af okc broad >somehow talk her out of her pants >have unbelievable sex and nut in her three times >ask her to be exclusive with each other >"No." When uatafuneral and remember that Buper awesome joke trom eartier I am starting to understand why people kill themselves. 299 KB JPG 13 Replies View Thread

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Anon is mildly disappointed | /r/Greentext


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Anon drinks his piss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)05:43:21 No.64198501 >be me >26 year old coomer >binge gaming >fully immersed >third day straight gamig (I sleep of course) >have a nice setup, a mini fridge 8 KB JPG with drinks and hot pockets and a microwave next to me >been planning this for days >don't wanna get up cause it breaks the immersion, I barely s--- during the day if at all so it's not really a problem >pee a lot so figure if I have some pee bottles with a lid I could pee in it (I know I know) and close it so it doesn't smell, saved a few orange juice bottles for this reason >annoying fat sister barges into my room to "see if I was still alive" >she tells me how disgusting I look and how smelly my room is as if she wasn't smelly either >notices my pee bottles and makes a f------ scene >tell her is watered down orange juice >dares me to drink it >so f------ p----- at her so I hold my nose and do it >doesn't even taste that bad it tastes kinda sweet actually >surprised.jpg >sister starts gagging and says she'll tell our parents >get rid of the pee through the windows and hide the bottles so they hear the ramblings of a mad bitch with nothing to back them up Anyone else has really f------ annoying sisters?
: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)05:43:21 No.64198501 >be me >26 year old coomer >binge gaming >fully immersed >third day straight gamig (I sleep of course) >have a nice setup, a mini fridge 8 KB JPG with drinks and hot pockets and a microwave next to me >been planning this for days >don't wanna get up cause it breaks the immersion, I barely s--- during the day if at all so it's not really a problem >pee a lot so figure if I have some pee bottles with a lid I could pee in it (I know I know) and close it so it doesn't smell, saved a few orange juice bottles for this reason >annoying fat sister barges into my room to "see if I was still alive" >she tells me how disgusting I look and how smelly my room is as if she wasn't smelly either >notices my pee bottles and makes a f------ scene >tell her is watered down orange juice >dares me to drink it >so f------ p----- at her so I hold my nose and do it >doesn't even taste that bad it tastes kinda sweet actually >surprised.jpg >sister starts gagging and says she'll tell our parents >get rid of the pee through the windows and hide the bottles so they hear the ramblings of a mad bitch with nothing to back them up Anyone else has really f------ annoying sisters?

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Anon asking for a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Disgusting animal facts 06/16/21(Wed)11:40:32 No.3835759 >rabbits eat their own feces to | extract more nutrients 37 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)11:45:49 No.3835763 Every great ape with the sole exception of humans does this. >3835794 # : Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)12:10:26 No.3835794 >>3835763 # >with the sole exception of humans Wait, humans don't normally do this? I'm asking for a friend. 73 KB JPG
: Anonymous Disgusting animal facts 06/16/21(Wed)11:40:32 No.3835759 >rabbits eat their own feces to | extract more nutrients 37 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)11:45:49 No.3835763 Every great ape with the sole exception of humans does this. >3835794 # : Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)12:10:26 No.3835794 >>3835763 # >with the sole exception of humans Wait, humans don't normally do this? I'm asking for a friend. 73 KB JPG

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Anon Cooms and faces Regret | /r/Greentext

Wonder what happens if Irub it. Wonder what happens if I rub it. Wonder what happens if Irub it. Wonder what happens if Irub it. Wonder what happens if Irub it. Wonder what happens if Irub it. Wonder what happens if Irub it... Wonder what happens if Irub it... Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)13:10:01 No.62126773 ► >>62126848 >: >E-------- >Immediately lose any interest in my penis for 24 to 48 hours Is this normal?
Wonder what happens if Irub it. Wonder what happens if I rub it. Wonder what happens if Irub it. Wonder what happens if Irub it. Wonder what happens if Irub it. Wonder what happens if Irub it. Wonder what happens if Irub it... Wonder what happens if Irub it... Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)13:10:01 No.62126773 ► >>62126848 >: >E-------- >Immediately lose any interest in my penis for 24 to 48 hours Is this normal?

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Anon wants to Rebel against the System | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)15:49:55 No.62128321 File: 530B7F38-57D7-4540-835E-D(...).jpg (54 KB, 622x622) >>62128294 (OP). >YOU WILL NOT HARASS THE GYM TWINK >YOU WILL NOT SCREAM AT THE WOMEN >YOU WILL NOT S--- ON THE FLOOR
Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)15:49:55 No.62128321 File: 530B7F38-57D7-4540-835E-D(...).jpg (54 KB, 622x622) >>62128294 (OP). >YOU WILL NOT HARASS THE GYM TWINK >YOU WILL NOT SCREAM AT THE WOMEN >YOU WILL NOT S--- ON THE FLOOR

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Anon play skyrim | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)17:55:25 No.560078353 meow.jpg 11 KB JPG >>560074179 (OP) # >play skyrim >make khajiit character >make them look exactly like my cat its cozy playing as cat : Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)17:57:10 No.560078589 >>560074179 (OP) # >Game has pet dog >Name it after my real life cat 914 KB GIF
: Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)17:55:25 No.560078353 meow.jpg 11 KB JPG >>560074179 (OP) # >play skyrim >make khajiit character >make them look exactly like my cat its cozy playing as cat : Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)17:57:10 No.560078589 >>560074179 (OP) # >Game has pet dog >Name it after my real life cat 914 KB GIF

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anon commits a hate crime. | /r/Greentext

>go to the kitchen to get a glass of water >fruitflies everywhere >aquire vacuum cleaner >put it to max setting >suck up all the fruitflies >remove the bag, smash it against the wall like a caveman >freeze the bag for an hour so they cant breed >enjoy my water
>go to the kitchen to get a glass of water >fruitflies everywhere >aquire vacuum cleaner >put it to max setting >suck up all the fruitflies >remove the bag, smash it against the wall like a caveman >freeze the bag for an hour so they cant breed >enjoy my water

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Anon gets vaccinated | /r/Greentext

>Go to get vaccinated >There's one guy holding a sign outside the pharmacy shouting that the vaccine is filled with nanomachines. Not your usual protest about rna or whatever, this dude was talking Metal Gear lalilulelo s--- >Whatever, get vaccinated. Guy isn't there when I go back outside, probably got escorted away by 15 KB JPG cops, idk >Come home, day goes by as usual, except my arm hurts and I develop a headache. >Go to sleep, and have the strangest dream. >In it Bill Gates is drilling a microchip into my brain. He opens his mouth but there's a Zune in it, the Zune plays a recording of his voice, and it's a set of orders, telling me s--- like "you will go and buy milk" but then gets weird like "you will kill the man in red." >Wake up, feel like s---, suddenly remember the crazy guy from yesterday was wearing a red shirt. >M-must be a fever dream >Open my fridge to make cereal, and there's only enough milk for like an eight of an bowl. W-- I absolutely did not know I was out of milk last night. Guys this is weird. What if... What if it's really not a vaccine? What if it's Windows 11? What if.. Windows 11 is us?
>Go to get vaccinated >There's one guy holding a sign outside the pharmacy shouting that the vaccine is filled with nanomachines. Not your usual protest about rna or whatever, this dude was talking Metal Gear lalilulelo s--- >Whatever, get vaccinated. Guy isn't there when I go back outside, probably got escorted away by 15 KB JPG cops, idk >Come home, day goes by as usual, except my arm hurts and I develop a headache. >Go to sleep, and have the strangest dream. >In it Bill Gates is drilling a microchip into my brain. He opens his mouth but there's a Zune in it, the Zune plays a recording of his voice, and it's a set of orders, telling me s--- like "you will go and buy milk" but then gets weird like "you will kill the man in red." >Wake up, feel like s---, suddenly remember the crazy guy from yesterday was wearing a red shirt. >M-must be a fever dream >Open my fridge to make cereal, and there's only enough milk for like an eight of an bowl. W-- I absolutely did not know I was out of milk last night. Guys this is weird. What if... What if it's really not a vaccine? What if it's Windows 11? What if.. Windows 11 is us?

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Anon will come to Brazil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)17:53:49 No.146961837 SLEEK'N'TEARS 1611400158561.jpg 179 KB JPG >watch solo p--- >brazilian >extremely feminine >more feminine than most girls >huge penis why are brazilians like this?
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)17:53:49 No.146961837 SLEEK'N'TEARS 1611400158561.jpg 179 KB JPG >watch solo p--- >brazilian >extremely feminine >more feminine than most girls >huge penis why are brazilians like this?

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Gf plan 06/18/21(Fri)09:36:42 No.64200841 >order pizza to my house every night until I get a lady driver >invite her inside for a coffee >if she says no thanks ask her out for a coffee tomorrow >if she partakes flirt and woo her into going on an actual date 101 KB PNG >Repeat until have gf Will this work? I've tried everything. 23 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)10:20:06 No.64201202 >>64201166 # >'hey want to come in for a coffee real quick? Haha don't worry l'm not a r-----' >Haha don't worry l'm not a r-----' just ditch it Imao don't do that
: Anonymous Gf plan 06/18/21(Fri)09:36:42 No.64200841 >order pizza to my house every night until I get a lady driver >invite her inside for a coffee >if she says no thanks ask her out for a coffee tomorrow >if she partakes flirt and woo her into going on an actual date 101 KB PNG >Repeat until have gf Will this work? I've tried everything. 23 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)10:20:06 No.64201202 >>64201166 # >'hey want to come in for a coffee real quick? Haha don't worry l'm not a r-----' >Haha don't worry l'm not a r-----' just ditch it Imao don't do that

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Anon loves his Country and its People | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:38:23 No.105952831 FREEFRE unnamed.jpg 93 KB JPG >roided >freefire hoodie >no headlights >riding in the favela >t----- in the backseat Such is the life of the brazilian, am I'm supposed to be envious of the "first-world"? Because I'm not. >>105952861 # >>105952864 # >>105952880 # >>105952920 #
: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:38:23 No.105952831 FREEFRE unnamed.jpg 93 KB JPG >roided >freefire hoodie >no headlights >riding in the favela >t----- in the backseat Such is the life of the brazilian, am I'm supposed to be envious of the "first-world"? Because I'm not. >>105952861 # >>105952864 # >>105952880 # >>105952920 #

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Anon goes to the museum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)09:09:39 No.64200593 >go to museum that's finally reopened since pandemic >rule against taking photos because of some copyright b------- >try to sneak one under my coat so tingle 225 KB JPG no one can see >forget to put phone on silent, and made a loud CLICKing sound >angry babushka patrol the museum hired to protect the works hear the sound and loudly demand who it was >screams incomprehensible russian at us, while marching around and interrogating everyone nkvd- style >didn't figure out it was me, but I still walked out of there about to have a nervous breakdown Ffs, where did they get these guys? My town doesn't even have a Russian population.
: Anonymous 06/18/21(Fri)09:09:39 No.64200593 >go to museum that's finally reopened since pandemic >rule against taking photos because of some copyright b------- >try to sneak one under my coat so tingle 225 KB JPG no one can see >forget to put phone on silent, and made a loud CLICKing sound >angry babushka patrol the museum hired to protect the works hear the sound and loudly demand who it was >screams incomprehensible russian at us, while marching around and interrogating everyone nkvd- style >didn't figure out it was me, but I still walked out of there about to have a nervous breakdown Ffs, where did they get these guys? My town doesn't even have a Russian population.

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Anon leaves a review on steam | /r/Greentext

1574216726259.png 344 KB PNG >Leave a steam review on a small game bashing it with negative rating >Dev replies
1574216726259.png 344 KB PNG >Leave a steam review on a small game bashing it with negative rating >Dev replies

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Anon hates clouds | /r/Greentext


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