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Anon is hip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)17:57:13 No.62943997 >A pimp in a white tank top told me I don't look hip >But I am >l am hip >l swear 66 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)17:57:13 No.62943997 >A pimp in a white tank top told me I don't look hip >But I am >l am hip >l swear 66 KB JPG

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Anon's dad is a cheapskate | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)20:30:49 No.19783448 > be me > 11 > dads a f------ cheapskate > dad sees the soap he likes is half price > driving past store > dad hands me $50 > "buy 45 soaps and get yourself something nice" > okay.webm > go in store > get some bags, put soap inside > pay, gemme some skittles > walk out with 3 bags full of soap > see chick I like > "Eww anon, why u need so much soap?" > run.blend > mfw when my crush saw me walking out a store with 3 bags of soap > mfw she tells everyone at school
O Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)20:30:49 No.19783448 > be me > 11 > dads a f------ cheapskate > dad sees the soap he likes is half price > driving past store > dad hands me $50 > "buy 45 soaps and get yourself something nice" > okay.webm > go in store > get some bags, put soap inside > pay, gemme some skittles > walk out with 3 bags full of soap > see chick I like > "Eww anon, why u need so much soap?" > run.blend > mfw when my crush saw me walking out a store with 3 bags of soap > mfw she tells everyone at school

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Anon debunks fat chicks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)11:43:25 No.64172891 >Be fat chick >Have two distinct choices, empower yourself through hard work to become healthier, or internalize fake empowerment by embracing your orca fat caliber 825 KB JPG laziness. >Pick the latter option >Blame society and patriarchy for weight while simultaneously doing nothing to improve lot in life Do women really? Body positivity is a f------ joke
: Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)11:43:25 No.64172891 >Be fat chick >Have two distinct choices, empower yourself through hard work to become healthier, or internalize fake empowerment by embracing your orca fat caliber 825 KB JPG laziness. >Pick the latter option >Blame society and patriarchy for weight while simultaneously doing nothing to improve lot in life Do women really? Body positivity is a f------ joke

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anon loves his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)20:24:10 No.64167936 >be me >18 years old no gf or real social life or job >heavily depressed y >go to stay with my dad for a while >my parents are split up >realise I don't have any money for 144 KB PNG cigarettes >ask my dad if I can work with him to earn a bit of money >dad works as a carpenter >tells me I can work with him for the week and he would pay me on Friday >start working on Monday through to Friday >probably the hardest I've ever worked >end of the week rolls by and I'm in the van with my dad >he gives me the money and starts talking >"I'm proud of you anon, you showing initiative and asking to work with me made me happier than I can ever imagine" I didn't buy the cigarettes I haven't smoked in about a year Thanks dad
: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)20:24:10 No.64167936 >be me >18 years old no gf or real social life or job >heavily depressed y >go to stay with my dad for a while >my parents are split up >realise I don't have any money for 144 KB PNG cigarettes >ask my dad if I can work with him to earn a bit of money >dad works as a carpenter >tells me I can work with him for the week and he would pay me on Friday >start working on Monday through to Friday >probably the hardest I've ever worked >end of the week rolls by and I'm in the van with my dad >he gives me the money and starts talking >"I'm proud of you anon, you showing initiative and asking to work with me made me happier than I can ever imagine" I didn't buy the cigarettes I haven't smoked in about a year Thanks dad

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big honey doesn't want you hearing this | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)22:39:41 No.64169499 I bought 4 kilograms of honey. >arbutus honey >greek oak honey >wild lavender honey >pine honey >multifloral honey I've eaten half a kilo/one pound of honey since yesterday. Most of what I'eat as of this moment is 26 KB JPG honey and milk. am not sleeping and I am waiting for the rest of my honey to come.
Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)22:39:41 No.64169499 I bought 4 kilograms of honey. >arbutus honey >greek oak honey >wild lavender honey >pine honey >multifloral honey I've eaten half a kilo/one pound of honey since yesterday. Most of what I'eat as of this moment is 26 KB JPG honey and milk. am not sleeping and I am waiting for the rest of my honey to come.

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Anon hates men | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)07:36:29 No.64170312 >me before taking female hormones >men are ugly as f--- >me after taking female hormones >men are still ugly as f--- but I can't stop wanting to be f----- by 1.31 MB GIF them I hate this 52 Replies / 7 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)07:36:29 No.64170312 >me before taking female hormones >men are ugly as f--- >me after taking female hormones >men are still ugly as f--- but I can't stop wanting to be f----- by 1.31 MB GIF them I hate this 52 Replies / 7 Images View Thread

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Anon has a badminton tournament | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Arab beats western feminists i(...) 06/16/21(Wed)13:52:11 No.64173427 Was talking to my best friend and remembered this story from high school Pya > In last year of high school in a western country > My best friend and I are the only 57 KB JPG 2 Arabs in our entire grade > End of the school year, so we had a badminton tournament for some fun during sport class with the entire grade instead of separate classes > We were randomly put into pairs for 2v2 matches > Odd number of people meant my best friend was forced to be alone > His first match was against 2 feminist western looking girls >I ask him if he wanted help, he said its okay > They bragged right before the match started that 'women power' can beat anyone and anything, especially him > He said "We will see about that" in Arabic > 5 Minute Match > He wins 13-1 > The one point he lost was because he was distracted by someone calling his name Dude actually got about halfway through the tournament before losing to 2 really skilled opponents 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous Arab beats western feminists i(...) 06/16/21(Wed)13:52:11 No.64173427 Was talking to my best friend and remembered this story from high school Pya > In last year of high school in a western country > My best friend and I are the only 57 KB JPG 2 Arabs in our entire grade > End of the school year, so we had a badminton tournament for some fun during sport class with the entire grade instead of separate classes > We were randomly put into pairs for 2v2 matches > Odd number of people meant my best friend was forced to be alone > His first match was against 2 feminist western looking girls >I ask him if he wanted help, he said its okay > They bragged right before the match started that 'women power' can beat anyone and anything, especially him > He said "We will see about that" in Arabic > 5 Minute Match > He wins 13-1 > The one point he lost was because he was distracted by someone calling his name Dude actually got about halfway through the tournament before losing to 2 really skilled opponents 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon first love | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)00:42:18 No.377411752 File 1327815738.jpg-(7 KB, 316x202, Feels Bad Man.jpg) >Be 16 >Love girl >Girl thinks of me as little brother >She only likes douchebags with those stupid f------ gauges >Be skinny and socially awkward >Brothers wedding soon >Ask her to be my date >For some f------ reason, she says yes >Pick her up in my 68 Nova that is named after her because she f------ loves my car >She's wearing a bright blue dress that shows off her great ass >Get there, brother asks if she is girlfriend >Say no, just friends >Wedding ends, driving back to our town >"FemAnon, would you like to watch a movie at my house?" >"Sure Anon, sounds good." >We watch Zombieland, I ask her what if zombies attacked my house just then >She says "Kill them all! What about you?" >'Tell you my true feelings about you and see where it went after." >"Anon, you like me?" >"I f------ love you." >She says she feels the same but has been too shy to say anything. >l go for it and the kiss lands >20 minute make-out session >She walks seductively to my room saying "Meet me in here in 5 minutes." >5 minutes later go down the hallway >Õpen the door >Trip on the floor >"Get up Anon." >Stand up to see her in bra and panties >Jump on bed, furiously making out >Start to undo her bra >She pushes me away and turns around "I can't do this." >"FemAnon, are you ok?" >"I can't Anon." >"What's wrong?" >Turns around and looks deep into my eyes In the most seductive voice she says... >"I need about tree fiddy." Now it was about this time i realized this beautiful girl was a 8 story tall crustacean from the Paleozoic era That goddamned Loch-Ness monster had tricked me again. Bin 01/29/12(Sun)00:44:03 No.377412128 File1327815843.gif-(115 KB, 250x184, 1451234123.gif) >>377411752
Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)00:42:18 No.377411752 File 1327815738.jpg-(7 KB, 316x202, Feels Bad Man.jpg) >Be 16 >Love girl >Girl thinks of me as little brother >She only likes douchebags with those stupid f------ gauges >Be skinny and socially awkward >Brothers wedding soon >Ask her to be my date >For some f------ reason, she says yes >Pick her up in my 68 Nova that is named after her because she f------ loves my car >She's wearing a bright blue dress that shows off her great ass >Get there, brother asks if she is girlfriend >Say no, just friends >Wedding ends, driving back to our town >"FemAnon, would you like to watch a movie at my house?" >"Sure Anon, sounds good." >We watch Zombieland, I ask her what if zombies attacked my house just then >She says "Kill them all! What about you?" >'Tell you my true feelings about you and see where it went after." >"Anon, you like me?" >"I f------ love you." >She says she feels the same but has been too shy to say anything. >l go for it and the kiss lands >20 minute make-out session >She walks seductively to my room saying "Meet me in here in 5 minutes." >5 minutes later go down the hallway >Õpen the door >Trip on the floor >"Get up Anon." >Stand up to see her in bra and panties >Jump on bed, furiously making out >Start to undo her bra >She pushes me away and turns around "I can't do this." >"FemAnon, are you ok?" >"I can't Anon." >"What's wrong?" >Turns around and looks deep into my eyes In the most seductive voice she says... >"I need about tree fiddy." Now it was about this time i realized this beautiful girl was a 8 story tall crustacean from the Paleozoic era That goddamned Loch-Ness monster had tricked me again. Bin 01/29/12(Sun)00:44:03 No.377412128 File1327815843.gif-(115 KB, 250x184, 1451234123.gif) >>377411752

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Anon meets Christian Bale | /r/Greentext

a Anonymous 10/26/12(Fri)19:48 No.26791073 File: 1351295311728.jpg-(24 KB, 300x440, christian_bale_2.jpg) >>26790856 >at grocery store >man is checking out in front of me >it's mother f------ Lord God Christian Bale >"That'll be 26.77 sir" >Bale looks the girl in the f------ eyes with the most intense glare imaginable >"No it isn't." >girl starts sweating, hands fumbling >"Umm, sorry sir, I, uh, must have been, oh please God, umm, wrong." >Bale nods slowly >"Bag my mother f------ groceries." >girl carefully puts stuff in the bags >Bale watches carefully with a stoic glance of pure Alpha >"Watch the eggs, I promised my daughter a cake." >girl starts shaking even harder, manages to finish bagging. >Bale stares at her blankly for a few moments, he doesn't move. >"Thanks." >hands her a fifty >"keep the change." >starts to walk away, stops and turns around >hands her another fifty >nods to cashier with a slight smile >looks at me >ohfuck.jpeg >smiles and winks at me >Bale walks out >cashier wont even ring me up, she starts masturbating on the spot >I start masturbating too >Bale's face when
a Anonymous 10/26/12(Fri)19:48 No.26791073 File: 1351295311728.jpg-(24 KB, 300x440, christian_bale_2.jpg) >>26790856 >at grocery store >man is checking out in front of me >it's mother f------ Lord God Christian Bale >"That'll be 26.77 sir" >Bale looks the girl in the f------ eyes with the most intense glare imaginable >"No it isn't." >girl starts sweating, hands fumbling >"Umm, sorry sir, I, uh, must have been, oh please God, umm, wrong." >Bale nods slowly >"Bag my mother f------ groceries." >girl carefully puts stuff in the bags >Bale watches carefully with a stoic glance of pure Alpha >"Watch the eggs, I promised my daughter a cake." >girl starts shaking even harder, manages to finish bagging. >Bale stares at her blankly for a few moments, he doesn't move. >"Thanks." >hands her a fifty >"keep the change." >starts to walk away, stops and turns around >hands her another fifty >nods to cashier with a slight smile >looks at me >ohfuck.jpeg >smiles and winks at me >Bale walks out >cashier wont even ring me up, she starts masturbating on the spot >I start masturbating too >Bale's face when

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Anon showing off his chivalry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The Tale of a 14th Century Inc(...) 06/15/21(Tue)17:20:53 No.64159916 >Be me >Year is 1488 >Refuse to save a defenseless maiden from the grasp of a saracen >Wow I am so based and redpilled 204 KB PNG
: Anonymous The Tale of a 14th Century Inc(...) 06/15/21(Tue)17:20:53 No.64159916 >Be me >Year is 1488 >Refuse to save a defenseless maiden from the grasp of a saracen >Wow I am so based and redpilled 204 KB PNG

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Anon has an arrangement | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)22:10:05 No.856885952 >be me again >the fart connoisseur >back in high school used to pay a roastie athlete chick to fart in my face after class under the bleachers >she was always on that protein powder and s--- so the braps smelt DIVINE >saved up some money from a job one summer and asked if she'd let me j------- while she ripped her s---- 19 KB JPG wind >$104.85 >whipped out the old purple-headed custard chucker and went for it >she's bent over with her shorts on and my nose 2 inches from her clothed sphincter >she pauses for a moment and says 'this might be a big one' >I feel the familiar tingle in my googlesac >she grunts and then releases such a loud, forceful, deep and resonating fart I could swear I felt the wind through her shorts and panties >l immediately bust a giant f------ load over the back of her legs and my hand and pants >she begins panicking and turns around red-faced >'F---' she exclaims, 'I gotta go home that one followed through' >hearing that I'm instantly diamonds again >she picks up her bag and starts running home while I zip up my painfully erect member >I quickly texted her and asked if I could buy her dirty panties instead of her washing them >she sends back 'W-- are you serious...Okay' >next day she brought them to school in a zip locked bag and we made the exchange >straight away took them to the bathroom to smell the quarter-sized poo stain in her underwear >coom again hard >Those panties were my prized possession for about 2 years until I'm pretty sure my sisters cat found them and chewed them up. We continued the fart/wank relationship the rest of that year until we graduated high school. I miss those times /b/ros pic related
: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)22:10:05 No.856885952 >be me again >the fart connoisseur >back in high school used to pay a roastie athlete chick to fart in my face after class under the bleachers >she was always on that protein powder and s--- so the braps smelt DIVINE >saved up some money from a job one summer and asked if she'd let me j------- while she ripped her s---- 19 KB JPG wind >$104.85 >whipped out the old purple-headed custard chucker and went for it >she's bent over with her shorts on and my nose 2 inches from her clothed sphincter >she pauses for a moment and says 'this might be a big one' >I feel the familiar tingle in my googlesac >she grunts and then releases such a loud, forceful, deep and resonating fart I could swear I felt the wind through her shorts and panties >l immediately bust a giant f------ load over the back of her legs and my hand and pants >she begins panicking and turns around red-faced >'F---' she exclaims, 'I gotta go home that one followed through' >hearing that I'm instantly diamonds again >she picks up her bag and starts running home while I zip up my painfully erect member >I quickly texted her and asked if I could buy her dirty panties instead of her washing them >she sends back 'W-- are you serious...Okay' >next day she brought them to school in a zip locked bag and we made the exchange >straight away took them to the bathroom to smell the quarter-sized poo stain in her underwear >coom again hard >Those panties were my prized possession for about 2 years until I'm pretty sure my sisters cat found them and chewed them up. We continued the fart/wank relationship the rest of that year until we graduated high school. I miss those times /b/ros pic related

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Koreanon got backfired | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: COR2L5FI ) : 06/14/21(Mon)17:31:33 No.325888791 I want to start a website that is essentially a database for all of the most interesting fact about every country in the world. Would you visit this website to obtain knowledge or will you remain ignorant for eternity? 1.com 162 KB JPG 11 Replies View Thread : Anonymous (ID: 95IBSLEO ) - 06/14/21(Mon)17:50:20 No.325890171 >South Korea >30% of women have plastic surgery before the age of 30 >>325891254 #
: Anonymous (ID: COR2L5FI ) : 06/14/21(Mon)17:31:33 No.325888791 I want to start a website that is essentially a database for all of the most interesting fact about every country in the world. Would you visit this website to obtain knowledge or will you remain ignorant for eternity? 1.com 162 KB JPG 11 Replies View Thread : Anonymous (ID: 95IBSLEO ) - 06/14/21(Mon)17:50:20 No.325890171 >South Korea >30% of women have plastic surgery before the age of 30 >>325891254 #

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Shit why me | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous s--- why me 06/05/21 (Sat)20:04:17 No.9699557 >be me camping >have to take massive s--- >damnit.png >go to the creepy ass pit toilet >sitting on toilet taking massive s--- >hear buzzing above head >whatsthis.jpg 211 KB PNG >look up it's a frickin hornet >oh s--- >try and hurry up and lands next to me >nonono >flys directly up my anus >stings
: Anonymous s--- why me 06/05/21 (Sat)20:04:17 No.9699557 >be me camping >have to take massive s--- >damnit.png >go to the creepy ass pit toilet >sitting on toilet taking massive s--- >hear buzzing above head >whatsthis.jpg 211 KB PNG >look up it's a frickin hornet >oh s--- >try and hurry up and lands next to me >nonono >flys directly up my anus >stings

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Anon gets a girlfriend | /r/Greentext


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A rush and a push the land's ours | /r/Greentext


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Anon's son is gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)18:03:57 No.856917396 >be me >son is gay >sons boyfriend moves in with us >have to listen to them f------ all the time >gross moaning and screaming >poop smell wafts from room as they go to and from the shower 45 KB JPG >can't stand it anymore and politely ask them to find their own place as their behaviour is traumatic and pretty gross >my sons face when he decides to gay murder me instead of finding somewhere else to sex stink up Why son? 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)18:09:10 No.856917734 >>856917396 (OP) # Is that a man or a woman or one of those new fangled genders they make for attention?
: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)18:03:57 No.856917396 >be me >son is gay >sons boyfriend moves in with us >have to listen to them f------ all the time >gross moaning and screaming >poop smell wafts from room as they go to and from the shower 45 KB JPG >can't stand it anymore and politely ask them to find their own place as their behaviour is traumatic and pretty gross >my sons face when he decides to gay murder me instead of finding somewhere else to sex stink up Why son? 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)18:09:10 No.856917734 >>856917396 (OP) # Is that a man or a woman or one of those new fangled genders they make for attention?

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Anon gets ghosted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)18:24:00 No.856918644 >Friends with her for years >Have a thing for one another >She shows it more and more >Starts to show feelings back >Immediately ghosts me >Stops wanting to do stuff all together 173 KB JPG >Years later she has done it to numerous other men >Use them for living space and money >Fake UwU personality streamer These hoes blow.
: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)18:24:00 No.856918644 >Friends with her for years >Have a thing for one another >She shows it more and more >Starts to show feelings back >Immediately ghosts me >Stops wanting to do stuff all together 173 KB JPG >Years later she has done it to numerous other men >Use them for living space and money >Fake UwU personality streamer These hoes blow.

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anon sees his crush at the gym | /r/Greentext

O The pain Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)17:44:58 No.63429763 >See my gym crush working out >Too p---- to talk to her >Go up and use the machine next to her >She immediately gets off and goes somewhere else >Try to hide the pain >Míw on the inside
O The pain Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)17:44:58 No.63429763 >See my gym crush working out >Too p---- to talk to her >Go up and use the machine next to her >She immediately gets off and goes somewhere else >Try to hide the pain >Míw on the inside

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Anon is nostalgic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)16:23:22 No.62555204 >>62553781 (OP) # >late 90's >10 >would finish school on a friday >eat dinner and then turn on my 496 KB PNG N64 >play Mario Kart, Mario 64, Goldeneye etc >bed time at 11:00 >would get into bed >pretend to fall asleep >wait until my mother went to sleep >boot up my N64 again >play all night I'd love to go back to being that carefree. Just once.
: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)16:23:22 No.62555204 >>62553781 (OP) # >late 90's >10 >would finish school on a friday >eat dinner and then turn on my 496 KB PNG N64 >play Mario Kart, Mario 64, Goldeneye etc >bed time at 11:00 >would get into bed >pretend to fall asleep >wait until my mother went to sleep >boot up my N64 again >play all night I'd love to go back to being that carefree. Just once.

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Anon makes it | /r/Greentext

10:04 1 LTE A boards.4chan.org – Private Board /b/ - Random Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)21:36:15 No.856932391 >be me >recovering from years of incel behavior >strike the courage to ask the girl out I really like from my parish >go on a couple of dates >wowfeelsgood.exe >I tell her I have a summer job out of state 70 miles 91 KB PNG away expect her to ghost me >she is interested in what I'm doing and promises to support me >literally calls me every night before I go to bed "goodnight anon sleep tight baby" >she visits I tell her I like it when she's a gentle dom >oh anon l'm so glad you're into that too I was worried for a minute >mfw she pays my head and tells me what a good boy I am : Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)21:47:04 No.856932950 >>856932391 (OP) # That's good to hear Anon. An inspiration to other recovering incels. : Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)21:58:22 No.856933526 >>856932391 (OP) # Living the Dream, happy for you Anon 1.12 MB GIF : Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)22:01:27 No.856933692 good for you anoi. im super depresso lonely currently
10:04 1 LTE A boards.4chan.org – Private Board /b/ - Random Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)21:36:15 No.856932391 >be me >recovering from years of incel behavior >strike the courage to ask the girl out I really like from my parish >go on a couple of dates >wowfeelsgood.exe >I tell her I have a summer job out of state 70 miles 91 KB PNG away expect her to ghost me >she is interested in what I'm doing and promises to support me >literally calls me every night before I go to bed "goodnight anon sleep tight baby" >she visits I tell her I like it when she's a gentle dom >oh anon l'm so glad you're into that too I was worried for a minute >mfw she pays my head and tells me what a good boy I am : Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)21:47:04 No.856932950 >>856932391 (OP) # That's good to hear Anon. An inspiration to other recovering incels. : Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)21:58:22 No.856933526 >>856932391 (OP) # Living the Dream, happy for you Anon 1.12 MB GIF : Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)22:01:27 No.856933692 good for you anoi. im super depresso lonely currently

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