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Spiderbro is slacking off | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)02:17:48 No.3821828 >find spider living under my table >hmmmm if IIleave this spider live in my room, it will protect me from mosquitoes >end of the day >covered in mosquito bites >check under the table 2000% MAD 23 KB JPG >spider is still there DO YOUR F------ JOB >>3826796 #
: Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)02:17:48 No.3821828 >find spider living under my table >hmmmm if IIleave this spider live in my room, it will protect me from mosquitoes >end of the day >covered in mosquito bites >check under the table 2000% MAD 23 KB JPG >spider is still there DO YOUR F------ JOB >>3826796 #

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Anon goes online | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)14:44:40 No.856829686 > plug in my ethernet > see icon appear in windows task bar > an app is using your location bros... w--. i am being gangastlaked??? I kil myself? 390 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)14:44:40 No.856829686 > plug in my ethernet > see icon appear in windows task bar > an app is using your location bros... w--. i am being gangastlaked??? I kil myself? 390 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon’s quite weird dream featuring Poirot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)12:49:11 No.856882737 I had a strange dream last night >in restaurant >notice Billie Eilish is sitting a few tables away >approach her 31 KB JPG >say I'm a big fan >she responds with donkey noises >suddenly Hercule Poirot comes in >tells me Billie Eilish was just a persona all along >exposes Eilish who is a donkey with a wig in a coat >sheisliterallyafatass.jpg >Poirot also says I'm arrested because he found my loli collection then I woke up before I could've called b-------, since I only have shota hentai
: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)12:49:11 No.856882737 I had a strange dream last night >in restaurant >notice Billie Eilish is sitting a few tables away >approach her 31 KB JPG >say I'm a big fan >she responds with donkey noises >suddenly Hercule Poirot comes in >tells me Billie Eilish was just a persona all along >exposes Eilish who is a donkey with a wig in a coat >sheisliterallyafatass.jpg >Poirot also says I'm arrested because he found my loli collection then I woke up before I could've called b-------, since I only have shota hentai

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Anon wants to watch youtube | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)22:04:31 No.62494875 >start up a YT video >"WHAT IS UP YALL?!" >closes video 15 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)22:11:05 No.62494957 >>62494875 (OP) # >start a YT video >"dont forget to like, subscribe, and hit that notification bell" >"follow me on twitter and instagram" >"oh dont forget to subscribe to my patreon for more content" >"and use my referral link to get 50% off faggotshare" >"and pay for my college loans, hospital bills, car insurance, taxes..." %3D
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)22:04:31 No.62494875 >start up a YT video >"WHAT IS UP YALL?!" >closes video 15 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)22:11:05 No.62494957 >>62494875 (OP) # >start a YT video >"dont forget to like, subscribe, and hit that notification bell" >"follow me on twitter and instagram" >"oh dont forget to subscribe to my patreon for more content" >"and use my referral link to get 50% off faggotshare" >"and pay for my college loans, hospital bills, car insurance, taxes..." %3D

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Anon gets played like a bitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)23:48:33 No.64155815 >be me >Highschool >Beta f-- >Two cute girls who I barely know ask if I want to sit with them after school while we wait for our rides >Say something incomprehensible in 11 KB JPG agreement >We sit for a while >One girls flirts a little >Ffw few weeks and were all friends >Get feelings for one girl >Eventually find out she likes me too >We spend more time together >Eventually muster up the courage to ask her out >"Sorry Anon l'm not looking for a relationship rn" >Mfw I suddenly realize how much of a w---- alot of the girls in my school are. Was basically f----- from the start.
: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)23:48:33 No.64155815 >be me >Highschool >Beta f-- >Two cute girls who I barely know ask if I want to sit with them after school while we wait for our rides >Say something incomprehensible in 11 KB JPG agreement >We sit for a while >One girls flirts a little >Ffw few weeks and were all friends >Get feelings for one girl >Eventually find out she likes me too >We spend more time together >Eventually muster up the courage to ask her out >"Sorry Anon l'm not looking for a relationship rn" >Mfw I suddenly realize how much of a w---- alot of the girls in my school are. Was basically f----- from the start.

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Anon plays God | /r/Greentext

>have pubic lice (crabs) OD >no shampoo works >decide to get some fire ants and place on pubes to fight the crabs >they scrap for a bit >they both have established strongholds on the opposite ends 2 KB JPG of my jungle >to the north lie the wiley crabs of pubendorf >to the south lie the barbaric fire ants of fort scrotum >one morning notice a fire ant on horseback riding towards the crabs stronghold >look closer >its a f------ threaty of alliance F--- f--- their joining sides!!! There is a rumble in my jungle and i dont what to do about it
>have pubic lice (crabs) OD >no shampoo works >decide to get some fire ants and place on pubes to fight the crabs >they scrap for a bit >they both have established strongholds on the opposite ends 2 KB JPG of my jungle >to the north lie the wiley crabs of pubendorf >to the south lie the barbaric fire ants of fort scrotum >one morning notice a fire ant on horseback riding towards the crabs stronghold >look closer >its a f------ threaty of alliance F--- f--- their joining sides!!! There is a rumble in my jungle and i dont what to do about it

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Anon's ancestors get burned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)19:04:17 No.856845967 >Be me >Young French Jews living the dream >Goes on a date with an older women >She take me to an world war | basement >We f--- in the middle of an old german 33 KB JPG room >l think I discover a new fetish >Hope my ancestors are proud : Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)19:05:19 No.856846037 I am German and find this disgusting >>856846086 # : Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)19:06:04 No.856846086 >>856846037 # yeah jews are pretty disgusting hu? : Anonymous 06/14/21 (Mon)19:09:39 No.856846336 Your ancestors aren't proud they are f------ dead in an oven
: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)19:04:17 No.856845967 >Be me >Young French Jews living the dream >Goes on a date with an older women >She take me to an world war | basement >We f--- in the middle of an old german 33 KB JPG room >l think I discover a new fetish >Hope my ancestors are proud : Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)19:05:19 No.856846037 I am German and find this disgusting >>856846086 # : Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)19:06:04 No.856846086 >>856846037 # yeah jews are pretty disgusting hu? : Anonymous 06/14/21 (Mon)19:09:39 No.856846336 Your ancestors aren't proud they are f------ dead in an oven

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Anon has a job. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why not just become an element(...) 06/15/21(Tue)07:26:37 No.64153786 >Work 180 days out of the year (as opposed to the average job, 280) >Starting pay is enough to own a house or nice apartment >97% of elementary school teachers are women 974 KB GIF >Single milfs everywhere I'm the only male staff member except for the janitor. It's an extremely cozy gig, especially around the holidays. 55 Replies / 14 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)09:59:36 No.64155349 >>64155307 Would you ever let a black women teach your kids?
: Anonymous Why not just become an element(...) 06/15/21(Tue)07:26:37 No.64153786 >Work 180 days out of the year (as opposed to the average job, 280) >Starting pay is enough to own a house or nice apartment >97% of elementary school teachers are women 974 KB GIF >Single milfs everywhere I'm the only male staff member except for the janitor. It's an extremely cozy gig, especially around the holidays. 55 Replies / 14 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)09:59:36 No.64155349 >>64155307 Would you ever let a black women teach your kids?

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Anon meets life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)04:35:35 No.856877942 > be me > 20y old chad > well built, rock climber > lots of friends and plenty of girls to choose from > doing great at uni > great social skills > bright future ahead of me > still wake up every day wanting to kill myself 27 KB JPG > why b? 36 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)04:35:35 No.856877942 > be me > 20y old chad > well built, rock climber > lots of friends and plenty of girls to choose from > doing great at uni > great social skills > bright future ahead of me > still wake up every day wanting to kill myself 27 KB JPG > why b? 36 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)16:15:17 No.856834954 >be me >late at night >uncle came into my room >later virgins 80 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)16:15:17 No.856834954 >be me >late at night >uncle came into my room >later virgins 80 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon gets a new video game | /r/Greentext

What's your video game launch horror story? here's mine: >be me >b----- 9 KB JPG >November, 2014 >new Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare midnight launch at Gamestop >dad drives me there close to midnight >he has to get up to work at his b----- construction job at 3 AM >waiting in line >teenager walks up to me >"hey, kid, they accidentally gave me an extra copy. do you want it for $20?" >excited d------- tells him yes >my dad hands the guy $20 and we go back to his beat up truck >get home >excited >dad comes into living room, it's almost 1:30 AM and he's still gotta get up at 3 AM for his job >"a ver, mijo, el nuevo call of battlefield: advanced Medal of Honor 4" >turn on XBOX One >put the disc in >screen turns black as it loads >drums >rickrolled.jpeg >dad stares at the screen in disbelief as a 240p Rick astley dances on screen and he's only gonna get like half an hour of sleep >gets up and grabs me by the wrist >starts whooping my b----- ass while getting rickrolled at 2 AM >never get the actual game
What's your video game launch horror story? here's mine: >be me >b----- 9 KB JPG >November, 2014 >new Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare midnight launch at Gamestop >dad drives me there close to midnight >he has to get up to work at his b----- construction job at 3 AM >waiting in line >teenager walks up to me >"hey, kid, they accidentally gave me an extra copy. do you want it for $20?" >excited d------- tells him yes >my dad hands the guy $20 and we go back to his beat up truck >get home >excited >dad comes into living room, it's almost 1:30 AM and he's still gotta get up at 3 AM for his job >"a ver, mijo, el nuevo call of battlefield: advanced Medal of Honor 4" >turn on XBOX One >put the disc in >screen turns black as it loads >drums >rickrolled.jpeg >dad stares at the screen in disbelief as a 240p Rick astley dances on screen and he's only gonna get like half an hour of sleep >gets up and grabs me by the wrist >starts whooping my b----- ass while getting rickrolled at 2 AM >never get the actual game

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Anyways... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)22:59:05 No.856449420 >be me >finna dating someone >got some issues >think about venting about them on 4chan and asking for advice >realize mid-greentext how f------ retarded that sounds 9 KB PNG 2 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)23:00:17 No.856449489 >>856449420 (OP)_# anyways... later virgins 6 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)22:59:05 No.856449420 >be me >finna dating someone >got some issues >think about venting about them on 4chan and asking for advice >realize mid-greentext how f------ retarded that sounds 9 KB PNG 2 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)23:00:17 No.856449489 >>856449420 (OP)_# anyways... later virgins 6 KB JPG

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Anon leaks a Nintendo Direct | /r/Greentext

Nintendo E3 leak Nintendo >We see the iconic Nintendo Switch snap >Two white lines come across the screen >A new Smash character?????? >You can feel the pounding hearts of millions of manchildren around the world >Who will it be? Another Fire Emblem character perhaps? >No. Instead, Shigeru Miyamoto walks on screen with a smile on his face. He takes his pants off, bends over, and goatse's the camera. End of presentation.
Nintendo E3 leak Nintendo >We see the iconic Nintendo Switch snap >Two white lines come across the screen >A new Smash character?????? >You can feel the pounding hearts of millions of manchildren around the world >Who will it be? Another Fire Emblem character perhaps? >No. Instead, Shigeru Miyamoto walks on screen with a smile on his face. He takes his pants off, bends over, and goatse's the camera. End of presentation.

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Anon gets trolled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)13:08:36 No.64158138 >be brain >chilling in some dude's head >he fell asleep wait check this out >AYO WE'RE FALLING BRO >jumpscare.exe >Imao go back to sleep dumbass 52 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)13:08:36 No.64158138 >be brain >chilling in some dude's head >he fell asleep wait check this out >AYO WE'RE FALLING BRO >jumpscare.exe >Imao go back to sleep dumbass 52 KB JPG

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Anon becomes the victim | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)04:20:49 No.856877431 >be me >18 >work at a place with 90% women aged 35-50 >get flirted with aggressively and sexually harassed all the time >went to complain about it >got pretty much told to brush it off 32 KB JPG What do I do now? It's genuinely not fun at al 42 Replies / 5 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)04:20:49 No.856877431 >be me >18 >work at a place with 90% women aged 35-50 >get flirted with aggressively and sexually harassed all the time >went to complain about it >got pretty much told to brush it off 32 KB JPG What do I do now? It's genuinely not fun at al 42 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon can't take a hint | /r/Greentext

Anonymous EE 03/03/15(Tue)17:15:35 No.383353 >taking a piss at university >American student walks in >"Cold day, isn't it?" Why do Americans talk to strangers? Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:16:24 No.3833 he was calling your d--- small Anonymous E 03/03/15(Tue)17:17:29 No.3833 File: 1387850227320.jpg (70 KB, 330x319) >>38335310 (OP) >Taking a piss >"Cold day isn't it" OP...
Anonymous EE 03/03/15(Tue)17:15:35 No.383353 >taking a piss at university >American student walks in >"Cold day, isn't it?" Why do Americans talk to strangers? Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:16:24 No.3833 he was calling your d--- small Anonymous E 03/03/15(Tue)17:17:29 No.3833 File: 1387850227320.jpg (70 KB, 330x319) >>38335310 (OP) >Taking a piss >"Cold day isn't it" OP...

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Anon has a co-worker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)01:20:58 No.856817975 >be me >fart connoisseur >literally addicted to women's gas >work with 8/10 qt3.14, blonde, tiddies, slim waist with decently fat butt >notice she eats absolute trash all day >burritos, burgers, lots of fried food 15 KB JPG >have a unisex staff toilet and walked in there after her once >she saw me walking in and put her head straight down and bailed out of there fast >the stink that hit my face brought me to immediate attention >forgot about pissing and slung some fat ropes inhaling the scent >am shift supervisor so always keep her on the counter serving customers >begin to learn her fart schedule, whenever she's alone she will let one rip >l know because I leave her alone for a minute or so then come back in and pretend I don't notice the smell >l've started offering to buy her lunch if she goes down the street and gets mine as well >always extra spicy beef chilli >he butthole literally reeks for hours afterwards >yesterday I walked behind the counter and smelled the jewels so I made like I was reaching under the till for something >inhaled a little too deeply and let out a short moan afterwards >she looked straight down at me and instantly knew what was going on >just before closing time it was just us left and she called me into the counter area and audibly farted Mfw
: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)01:20:58 No.856817975 >be me >fart connoisseur >literally addicted to women's gas >work with 8/10 qt3.14, blonde, tiddies, slim waist with decently fat butt >notice she eats absolute trash all day >burritos, burgers, lots of fried food 15 KB JPG >have a unisex staff toilet and walked in there after her once >she saw me walking in and put her head straight down and bailed out of there fast >the stink that hit my face brought me to immediate attention >forgot about pissing and slung some fat ropes inhaling the scent >am shift supervisor so always keep her on the counter serving customers >begin to learn her fart schedule, whenever she's alone she will let one rip >l know because I leave her alone for a minute or so then come back in and pretend I don't notice the smell >l've started offering to buy her lunch if she goes down the street and gets mine as well >always extra spicy beef chilli >he butthole literally reeks for hours afterwards >yesterday I walked behind the counter and smelled the jewels so I made like I was reaching under the till for something >inhaled a little too deeply and let out a short moan afterwards >she looked straight down at me and instantly knew what was going on >just before closing time it was just us left and she called me into the counter area and audibly farted Mfw

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Anon uses tools | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)16:11:36 No.856834759 >be me >ruralfag in b------- nowhere, usa >not been to town in a few weeks >isolation because neighbour had rona >last can of food in the house. baked beans 23 KB JPG >go to kitchen, get beans >tfw no can opener >idea.jpg >go to shed, find tools >only sharp tool is pickaxe >back to kitchen >place beans on counter >line up pickaxe >hit beans >ohshit.png >beans all over the counter and on the floor >mfw I spilled the beans
: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)16:11:36 No.856834759 >be me >ruralfag in b------- nowhere, usa >not been to town in a few weeks >isolation because neighbour had rona >last can of food in the house. baked beans 23 KB JPG >go to kitchen, get beans >tfw no can opener >idea.jpg >go to shed, find tools >only sharp tool is pickaxe >back to kitchen >place beans on counter >line up pickaxe >hit beans >ohshit.png >beans all over the counter and on the floor >mfw I spilled the beans

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Anon gets a Chromebook | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)09:10:21 No.64153920 Screenshot_20210525-101621.png 1.36 MB PNG >be Chromebook user >doesn't wanna learn how to use windows, Mac or Linux >retarded enough to think that a good computer can be bought with $200 >"oh but it does so much stuff!" >literally does the same s--- as another computer can do if you're signed in to Gmail >"Virus protection" means you can't download s--- other than play store >6 second boot time turns to 2 hours >advertises that it can play games, just s----- pay to win games >can't run any professional software at all >Still in denial as chrome takes 3 minutes to load >need to be online to use advertised selling point features >tries justifying removal of the caps lock key then jumps through arduous loops to enable caps lock for the search key which is the windows key >offers bottom line specs for the price of a low end computer that does the same s--- >Literally doesn't have enough processing power to run a zoom meeting and open another tab >Majority of clients are s----- public schools that don't care about the kids Chromebook users are f------ retarded.
: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)09:10:21 No.64153920 Screenshot_20210525-101621.png 1.36 MB PNG >be Chromebook user >doesn't wanna learn how to use windows, Mac or Linux >retarded enough to think that a good computer can be bought with $200 >"oh but it does so much stuff!" >literally does the same s--- as another computer can do if you're signed in to Gmail >"Virus protection" means you can't download s--- other than play store >6 second boot time turns to 2 hours >advertises that it can play games, just s----- pay to win games >can't run any professional software at all >Still in denial as chrome takes 3 minutes to load >need to be online to use advertised selling point features >tries justifying removal of the caps lock key then jumps through arduous loops to enable caps lock for the search key which is the windows key >offers bottom line specs for the price of a low end computer that does the same s--- >Literally doesn't have enough processing power to run a zoom meeting and open another tab >Majority of clients are s----- public schools that don't care about the kids Chromebook users are f------ retarded.

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Anon stays a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)08:27:03 No.856809936 >be me >never fapped in my life >that means i did the nofap challenge my whole life >later Coomers 123 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)08:27:03 No.856809936 >be me >never fapped in my life >that means i did the nofap challenge my whole life >later Coomers 123 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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