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Anon is paranoid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous They know 07/27/18(Fri)19:19:29 No.1952343E >be me >fap >go out in public THEY KNOW 551 KB PNG
: Anonymous They know 07/27/18(Fri)19:19:29 No.1952343E >be me >fap >go out in public THEY KNOW 551 KB PNG

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Anon isn’t as funny as chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)07:55:57 No.64128231 >At a study session with my uni group >Our group and another group sharing a table >librarian comes over and asks if she can help with anything >Popular guy says "I'll have a steak 34 KB JPG thanks" >Librarian laughs and says "this is a library, not a restaurant" >Popular guy whispers "sorry, l'll have a steak please" >Everyone laughs >l also say whisper "I'll have a steak too please" >No one laughs I don't understand bros. I literally made the EXACT same joke. Why is it only funny when this stupid Chad faced prick says it : Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)08:02:44 No.64128284 >>64128231 (OP) # because you stole the joke you unoriginal sperg. dont just steal his s---, its obvious that's what you tried to do, steal his shine : Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)08:04:14 No.64128298 >>64128231 (OP) # >chad can come up with jokes like these on the spot F--- me, what a god tier ability to seduce everything around you, including males >>64128306 #
: Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)07:55:57 No.64128231 >At a study session with my uni group >Our group and another group sharing a table >librarian comes over and asks if she can help with anything >Popular guy says "I'll have a steak 34 KB JPG thanks" >Librarian laughs and says "this is a library, not a restaurant" >Popular guy whispers "sorry, l'll have a steak please" >Everyone laughs >l also say whisper "I'll have a steak too please" >No one laughs I don't understand bros. I literally made the EXACT same joke. Why is it only funny when this stupid Chad faced prick says it : Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)08:02:44 No.64128284 >>64128231 (OP) # because you stole the joke you unoriginal sperg. dont just steal his s---, its obvious that's what you tried to do, steal his shine : Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)08:04:14 No.64128298 >>64128231 (OP) # >chad can come up with jokes like these on the spot F--- me, what a god tier ability to seduce everything around you, including males >>64128306 #

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Anon gets the B o o $ i | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sex stories 08/08/18(Wed)16:44:22 No.47367272 Sex stories /r9k/, I'll start >be me >15 beta >playing halo with friend at his house >a female i didnt know was here walks in >beautiful green eyes, black hair >"hi rose" 33 KB JPG >introduces me to rose, she just watches us play for a while >friend has to go to appointment, needs new glasses >he tells me to just play with rose until he's back >he leaves with his dad >she doesnt want to play halo so just watches me for another while >out of nowhere sally just sits on my lap and starts rubbing my chest >suddenly get a huge boost in confidence >feelsgoodman.jpg >l am a curious 15 year old, take the opportunity with my new confidence >turn her over and pound her hard >thank kek for my curiosity that led me to this moment >she is literally screaming, pretty sure its pleasure >its getting too loud >because of her screaming i didnt hear his dads car pull into the driveway >the screaming suddenly stops and she stops breathing >w--.jpg >l now realize my friend and his dad are home >he bursts into the room, not expecting to see me with my d--- inside rose who is now dead >mfw my curiosity killed my friends family cat
: Anonymous Sex stories 08/08/18(Wed)16:44:22 No.47367272 Sex stories /r9k/, I'll start >be me >15 beta >playing halo with friend at his house >a female i didnt know was here walks in >beautiful green eyes, black hair >"hi rose" 33 KB JPG >introduces me to rose, she just watches us play for a while >friend has to go to appointment, needs new glasses >he tells me to just play with rose until he's back >he leaves with his dad >she doesnt want to play halo so just watches me for another while >out of nowhere sally just sits on my lap and starts rubbing my chest >suddenly get a huge boost in confidence >feelsgoodman.jpg >l am a curious 15 year old, take the opportunity with my new confidence >turn her over and pound her hard >thank kek for my curiosity that led me to this moment >she is literally screaming, pretty sure its pleasure >its getting too loud >because of her screaming i didnt hear his dads car pull into the driveway >the screaming suddenly stops and she stops breathing >w--.jpg >l now realize my friend and his dad are home >he bursts into the room, not expecting to see me with my d--- inside rose who is now dead >mfw my curiosity killed my friends family cat

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Anon slept well | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like l'm being hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no
: Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like l'm being hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no

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Anon's goals are beyond our understanding | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)19:33:35 No.856438904 >Your daughter comes out as a lesbian How do you react? 98 KB JPG 83 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)22:45:29 No.856448735 >>856438904(OP)_# >Your daughter comes out as a lesbian If I have a daughter she will be forced to be a lesbian, ain't no way I'm letting her get dicked.
: Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)19:33:35 No.856438904 >Your daughter comes out as a lesbian How do you react? 98 KB JPG 83 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)22:45:29 No.856448735 >>856438904(OP)_# >Your daughter comes out as a lesbian If I have a daughter she will be forced to be a lesbian, ain't no way I'm letting her get dicked.

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At least anon tried | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 minuti fa 44099910 >at the bus stop >its raining >notice qt girl >shes getting drenched >place my umbrella over her >"umm no thanks" >takes five steps back 2 REPLIES
Anonymous 8 minuti fa 44099910 >at the bus stop >its raining >notice qt girl >shes getting drenched >place my umbrella over her >"umm no thanks" >takes five steps back 2 REPLIES

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Anon accidentally made his Chickens evolve. | /r/Greentext

>>36098782 (OP) # >have a chicken coop RESRET NOTHING >mice come for free gimmidats 422 KB GIF >have an old air rifle >decide to go full swat >rush in to catch mice off-guard >its very hard to hit a small moving target with a single shot rifle >shot one in the back, it couldn't move but it was still alive >chickens sense the distress and go full t-rex mode >now they acquired the taste for mice >chickens now actively hunt mice >mfw the problem has solved itself >>36117422 # >>36121592 #
>>36098782 (OP) # >have a chicken coop RESRET NOTHING >mice come for free gimmidats 422 KB GIF >have an old air rifle >decide to go full swat >rush in to catch mice off-guard >its very hard to hit a small moving target with a single shot rifle >shot one in the back, it couldn't move but it was still alive >chickens sense the distress and go full t-rex mode >now they acquired the taste for mice >chickens now actively hunt mice >mfw the problem has solved itself >>36117422 # >>36121592 #

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Elon guy #standwithelon to show him respect crypto coin . | /r/Greentext

You come home from a crappy day of work. You unlock your door, only to see Elon standing in your living room. There's a large cardboard box next to him. >"Hey, Anon-kun. Sometimes life is full of hardships. You're a good friend, so I 155 KB JPG thought you should have this. Enjoy, buddy." He walks to you and briefly places his hand on your shoulder before taking his leave. There's a noise heard coming from inside the box. >"Nyan?" #standwithelon-Coin
You come home from a crappy day of work. You unlock your door, only to see Elon standing in your living room. There's a large cardboard box next to him. >"Hey, Anon-kun. Sometimes life is full of hardships. You're a good friend, so I 155 KB JPG thought you should have this. Enjoy, buddy." He walks to you and briefly places his hand on your shoulder before taking his leave. There's a noise heard coming from inside the box. >"Nyan?" #standwithelon-Coin

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Anon likes trains | /r/Greentext

File: a085d4bac10ea453ab115e80f(.).jpg (122 KB, 1013x1062) O Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)15:09:14 No.856667774 [Reply] >be me, born f------ autist >have autist obsession with trains since birth >passed to me from granpa with boomer hobby >ffw now 18 finish highschool >want job driving train >cant get job driving train, pays 100k a year, everyone and their f------ mum wants the job for ez life >want job for autist passion, would still take job for wagecuck pay >cant get job so sign up at local tourist steam train >learn how steam train work >slowly work way up ladder >ffw 1 year, now work on train as fireman >shovel coal into train, make train chuff up hill >volunteer position, still a f------ neet >but train makes me happy >thankyou train TRAIN
File: a085d4bac10ea453ab115e80f(.).jpg (122 KB, 1013x1062) O Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)15:09:14 No.856667774 [Reply] >be me, born f------ autist >have autist obsession with trains since birth >passed to me from granpa with boomer hobby >ffw now 18 finish highschool >want job driving train >cant get job driving train, pays 100k a year, everyone and their f------ mum wants the job for ez life >want job for autist passion, would still take job for wagecuck pay >cant get job so sign up at local tourist steam train >learn how steam train work >slowly work way up ladder >ffw 1 year, now work on train as fireman >shovel coal into train, make train chuff up hill >volunteer position, still a f------ neet >but train makes me happy >thankyou train TRAIN

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Anon tries to keep a fren | /r/Greentext

48m (6/10 14:24) · 64083005 1 Re · 0 Img · PNG · 20KB · (655 x 509) 1 Reply >be me >play vidiya >find a fren through vidiya >play every single day >first time I got to hang out since high school >later find out fren is trans >don't really care much >later find out fren is a minor as well >oh f--- >really worried >write them about being worried >they don't respond back >they cease all contact with me >my fren count is back to zero 2m (6/10 15:10) · 64083399 >>64083005 (OP) that's what you get for being a friend with a tranner
48m (6/10 14:24) · 64083005 1 Re · 0 Img · PNG · 20KB · (655 x 509) 1 Reply >be me >play vidiya >find a fren through vidiya >play every single day >first time I got to hang out since high school >later find out fren is trans >don't really care much >later find out fren is a minor as well >oh f--- >really worried >write them about being worried >they don't respond back >they cease all contact with me >my fren count is back to zero 2m (6/10 15:10) · 64083399 >>64083005 (OP) that's what you get for being a friend with a tranner

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All growns up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)04:53:03 No.855019642 > cleaning the garage > find my mum's teddy she played with when she was a kid (70s) > check its pouch > find some really old seeds > decide to grow them > anons they are growing!! 745 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)04:53:03 No.855019642 > cleaning the garage > find my mum's teddy she played with when she was a kid (70s) > check its pouch > find some really old seeds > decide to grow them > anons they are growing!! 745 KB JPG

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Anon on the absolute state of indie games. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)17:28:58 No.559281098 File: 1614712741298.jpg (5 KB, 215x185) >8-bit >soulslike >rougelike >cyberpunk >walking simulator >its about "depression" >visual novel >globohomo art >quirky dialogue For a bunch of "creative" types they sure aren't being creative.
Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)17:28:58 No.559281098 File: 1614712741298.jpg (5 KB, 215x185) >8-bit >soulslike >rougelike >cyberpunk >walking simulator >its about "depression" >visual novel >globohomo art >quirky dialogue For a bunch of "creative" types they sure aren't being creative.

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Anon is best at something | /r/Greentext


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anon gets complimented | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)10:24:40 No.61622659 >last set of push downs (and last reps of the day) >last rep and l am burning. Push down with a fit of rage shaking 145 KB JPG hard >nail it >exhale and say - thats how you do it, bitch >black girl right behind me replies - thats right white boi, looking fine Felt good because black girls tell it like it is
: Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)10:24:40 No.61622659 >last set of push downs (and last reps of the day) >last rep and l am burning. Push down with a fit of rage shaking 145 KB JPG hard >nail it >exhale and say - thats how you do it, bitch >black girl right behind me replies - thats right white boi, looking fine Felt good because black girls tell it like it is

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Anon fell for the marriage meme | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)20:29:06 No.856697587 >fall in love >get married >5 years later find out she's been cheating with my best friend for 4 >takes all my money 73 KB JPG Gonna neck myself f--- : Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)20:29:37 No.856697619 Kill her first : Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)20:30:14 No.856697649 >>856697587 (OP) # >falling for the marriage meme Can't say you didn't deserve it.
: Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)20:29:06 No.856697587 >fall in love >get married >5 years later find out she's been cheating with my best friend for 4 >takes all my money 73 KB JPG Gonna neck myself f--- : Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)20:29:37 No.856697619 Kill her first : Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)20:30:14 No.856697649 >>856697587 (OP) # >falling for the marriage meme Can't say you didn't deserve it.

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Anon spittn facts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)22:22:29 No.13248081 >Aliens visiting us >Humans dying of disease and poverty >Aliens not doing S--- to help us >"OMG ALIENS SO COOL!" Why should we give these f------ 929 KB JPG an inch of our respect? If they have the technology to travel through space, surely it would be effortless for them to fix biology, yet they aren't doing s--- to help us out. They are technically murdering us, slaughtering us slowly, by not helping us; inaction is merely action through omission. : Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)22:26:06 No.13248098 >>13248081 (OP) # When's the last time you thought about using your human faculties to alleviate all the problems pigeons face as a species? >>13248118 # >>13248160 # >>13248175 # >>13248821 # >>13248958 #
: Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)22:22:29 No.13248081 >Aliens visiting us >Humans dying of disease and poverty >Aliens not doing S--- to help us >"OMG ALIENS SO COOL!" Why should we give these f------ 929 KB JPG an inch of our respect? If they have the technology to travel through space, surely it would be effortless for them to fix biology, yet they aren't doing s--- to help us out. They are technically murdering us, slaughtering us slowly, by not helping us; inaction is merely action through omission. : Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)22:26:06 No.13248098 >>13248081 (OP) # When's the last time you thought about using your human faculties to alleviate all the problems pigeons face as a species? >>13248118 # >>13248160 # >>13248175 # >>13248821 # >>13248958 #

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Anon activities the secret MIB weapon | /r/Greentext

06/08/21(Tue)15:43:27 No.13251713 : Anonymous = Code Monkeying >Be me and decide to generate cool mandelbrot fractals >Absolutely no coding experience >Find a comfy 50 line github repo in python 91 KB PNG >"Wow! it works yaaayy science" >Increase some random parameters by an order of 10 >Laptop starts sounding like a F-16 jet engine and hasn't finished rendering after 30 minutes When will it halt bros I'm scared? : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)15:48:58 No.13251718 Stop the script tard >>13253213 # : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)15:57:57 No.13251745 >>13251713 (OP) # STOP THE SCRIPT RIGHT NOW YOU'RE GOING TO KILL US ALL >>13252046 # >>13253213 #
06/08/21(Tue)15:43:27 No.13251713 : Anonymous = Code Monkeying >Be me and decide to generate cool mandelbrot fractals >Absolutely no coding experience >Find a comfy 50 line github repo in python 91 KB PNG >"Wow! it works yaaayy science" >Increase some random parameters by an order of 10 >Laptop starts sounding like a F-16 jet engine and hasn't finished rendering after 30 minutes When will it halt bros I'm scared? : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)15:48:58 No.13251718 Stop the script tard >>13253213 # : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)15:57:57 No.13251745 >>13251713 (OP) # STOP THE SCRIPT RIGHT NOW YOU'RE GOING TO KILL US ALL >>13252046 # >>13253213 #

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Chad wants to lift anon up | /r/Greentext

>Be me, 17 >Year is 2016 >11th Grade >Shy, low self-esteem weeb with average looks, not a lot of friends. Knew a few girls and got hit on a few times, but no gf because too shy. >PE Class >It's Weight lifting and /fit/ stuff >FML.mov >l do a few reps on the first machine I see with the lowest weight possible because f--- that s--- >Class Chad ends up increasing the weight a bit when I'm taking a break >l don't notice and resume my reps >l don't notice the change in weight >Chad comes up to me with the biggest grin on his face >WTFjpg >He tells me to check the weight I lifted >l realize it's higher than when I started >HolyShit.gif >"See, Anon ? You're stronger than you think you are." >tfw he and his friends befriended me and set their minds to improving my self-esteem for the rest of the year It happened so long ago but I remember it like it was yesterday.
>Be me, 17 >Year is 2016 >11th Grade >Shy, low self-esteem weeb with average looks, not a lot of friends. Knew a few girls and got hit on a few times, but no gf because too shy. >PE Class >It's Weight lifting and /fit/ stuff >FML.mov >l do a few reps on the first machine I see with the lowest weight possible because f--- that s--- >Class Chad ends up increasing the weight a bit when I'm taking a break >l don't notice and resume my reps >l don't notice the change in weight >Chad comes up to me with the biggest grin on his face >WTFjpg >He tells me to check the weight I lifted >l realize it's higher than when I started >HolyShit.gif >"See, Anon ? You're stronger than you think you are." >tfw he and his friends befriended me and set their minds to improving my self-esteem for the rest of the year It happened so long ago but I remember it like it was yesterday.

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Anon hates teeth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)19:29:34 No.856693926 >WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T BRUSH TWICE A DAY? >YOU WILL BUY THE BRUSH >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY I SUGAR SAUCE SCIENCE >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY 249 KB PNG SUGAR DRINK >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR STRING >YOU WILL RUB ALL THIS SUGAR ON YOUR ΤΕΕTH TWICE A DAY >THEN ONCE A YEAR YOU WILL GO TO THE DENTIST WHO SAYS YOUR TEETH NEED TO BE REMOVED (YOU PAY) BECAUSE OF TOO MUCH SUGAR >WHY? SCIENCE SAYS INVISIBLE BUGS WILL EAT YOUR TEETH AWAY IF YOU DON'T 43 Replies / 10 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)19:29:34 No.856693926 >WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T BRUSH TWICE A DAY? >YOU WILL BUY THE BRUSH >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY I SUGAR SAUCE SCIENCE >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY 249 KB PNG SUGAR DRINK >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR STRING >YOU WILL RUB ALL THIS SUGAR ON YOUR ΤΕΕTH TWICE A DAY >THEN ONCE A YEAR YOU WILL GO TO THE DENTIST WHO SAYS YOUR TEETH NEED TO BE REMOVED (YOU PAY) BECAUSE OF TOO MUCH SUGAR >WHY? SCIENCE SAYS INVISIBLE BUGS WILL EAT YOUR TEETH AWAY IF YOU DON'T 43 Replies / 10 Images View Thread

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Anon brings her boyfriend home | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:20:16 No.794209193 >Your daughter brings home her asian boyfriend for the first time How do you react to her being a race traitor? 79 KB JPG 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:23:52 No.794209336 I'm fine with it. Smart, high earners : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:26:06 No.794209415 I'm ok with it. No n----- at least.
: Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:20:16 No.794209193 >Your daughter brings home her asian boyfriend for the first time How do you react to her being a race traitor? 79 KB JPG 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:23:52 No.794209336 I'm fine with it. Smart, high earners : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:26:06 No.794209415 I'm ok with it. No n----- at least.

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