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Anon has an experience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/19(Fri)22:21:18 No.466515790 >mexican joins the server >turns on his mic >hear his mother yelling >baby crying >vacuum cleaner WWWWRRRRRRIIINNNG 43 KB JPG >"CAAAAASSSSO000 CEEEERRRRRAAAAADOO00000" >police sirens >dog barking
: Anonymous 06/14/19(Fri)22:21:18 No.466515790 >mexican joins the server >turns on his mic >hear his mother yelling >baby crying >vacuum cleaner WWWWRRRRRRIIINNNG 43 KB JPG >"CAAAAASSSSO000 CEEEERRRRRAAAAADOO00000" >police sirens >dog barking

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Anon is questioning women | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 5 hours ago Screenshot_2021-04-22 main-qimg-fe7c4f8a38e8c851f336f5e42a017f2f-c (JPEG Image, 210 x 299 pixels).png (258.3 KB, 262x356) 12927047 Why do women act autistic? >be me >be 29yr old inkwel >be coworker with a 21 yr old girl >be afraid of coming off as creepy around her >today we eat lunch together >she notices onion rings on my dish >she starts discussing the importance of having hard orgasms what did she mean by this? 15 REPLIES
Anonymous 5 hours ago Screenshot_2021-04-22 main-qimg-fe7c4f8a38e8c851f336f5e42a017f2f-c (JPEG Image, 210 x 299 pixels).png (258.3 KB, 262x356) 12927047 Why do women act autistic? >be me >be 29yr old inkwel >be coworker with a 21 yr old girl >be afraid of coming off as creepy around her >today we eat lunch together >she notices onion rings on my dish >she starts discussing the importance of having hard orgasms what did she mean by this? 15 REPLIES

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Anon hits up a prostitute | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/26/19(Thu)21:58:59 No.121597357 >Goes to prostitute >"Alright honey what do ya want? $50 to blow $100 for the night. $250 for a---, but ya gotta wear a rubbah" 40 KB JPG >l-l was wondering if you would come see a m- movie with me >"A movie? Like some kinky sex tape or somethin?" >N-no I wanted to know if you can come see Joker with me in theaters >"So you want me to suck ya c--- in the theater?" >N-no..just sit there and watch the movie with me I can still hear her laughing >>121604192 # >>121604678 #
: Anonymous 09/26/19(Thu)21:58:59 No.121597357 >Goes to prostitute >"Alright honey what do ya want? $50 to blow $100 for the night. $250 for a---, but ya gotta wear a rubbah" 40 KB JPG >l-l was wondering if you would come see a m- movie with me >"A movie? Like some kinky sex tape or somethin?" >N-no I wanted to know if you can come see Joker with me in theaters >"So you want me to suck ya c--- in the theater?" >N-no..just sit there and watch the movie with me I can still hear her laughing >>121604192 # >>121604678 #

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Anon doesn’t like classical music | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/10/21(Thu)23:44:44 No.104159780 >be listening to classical >very quiet part >turn volume up to hear >suddenly gets F------ LOUD why did composers write like this? 8 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/10/21(Thu)23:44:44 No.104159780 >be listening to classical >very quiet part >turn volume up to hear >suddenly gets F------ LOUD why did composers write like this? 8 KB JPG

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Anon is good at dancing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/19(Fri)16:13:41 No.794479094 >be me >be 8° grade >be dumb s--- >do fortnite dances as a s----- joke I know the repercussions of this reveal 45 KB JPG >master the arts of the default dance >do it everytime im in a conversation >instead of losing all my friends i got more popular >thefuck.org >ffw my class finds me funny >tfw I just get wierd looks when i try to make an actual joke >tfw kids come up to me and ask me to the "the dance" Help me /b/ is the popularity turning my into a tard
: Anonymous 03/08/19(Fri)16:13:41 No.794479094 >be me >be 8° grade >be dumb s--- >do fortnite dances as a s----- joke I know the repercussions of this reveal 45 KB JPG >master the arts of the default dance >do it everytime im in a conversation >instead of losing all my friends i got more popular >thefuck.org >ffw my class finds me funny >tfw I just get wierd looks when i try to make an actual joke >tfw kids come up to me and ask me to the "the dance" Help me /b/ is the popularity turning my into a tard

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Anon and his master plan | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a big brain | /r/Greentext


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anon doesn't have a good look | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/18(Mon)05:54:53 No.760416428 >be him >beat a child almost to death >get in prison >women donating 1 million dollar to bail him out of prison >get model job after prison >is marrying billionaire daughter 155 KB JPG >is cheating on billionaire with ex >billionaire forgives him Look don't matter. If you wanna get somewhere in life you gotta work for it. Right guys? 144 Replies / 28 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 02/19/18(Mon)05:54:53 No.760416428 >be him >beat a child almost to death >get in prison >women donating 1 million dollar to bail him out of prison >get model job after prison >is marrying billionaire daughter 155 KB JPG >is cheating on billionaire with ex >billionaire forgives him Look don't matter. If you wanna get somewhere in life you gotta work for it. Right guys? 144 Replies / 28 Images View Thread

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Anon has a good stretch | /r/Greentext

Worst orgasm thread >be me >17 years old >haven't came in a week >parents are out of town >mytimehascome.mp4 >j------- in experimental positions >l'm kneeling on my bed >accidentally c-- >instant leg cramp >stand up faster than sonic >my calf muscle separates from my f------ shin >call ambulance 9.0 kB JPG >tell parents that it happened while stretching >mfw they believe me >mfw I came so hard that my calf fell off
Worst orgasm thread >be me >17 years old >haven't came in a week >parents are out of town >mytimehascome.mp4 >j------- in experimental positions >l'm kneeling on my bed >accidentally c-- >instant leg cramp >stand up faster than sonic >my calf muscle separates from my f------ shin >call ambulance 9.0 kB JPG >tell parents that it happened while stretching >mfw they believe me >mfw I came so hard that my calf fell off

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Anon is rejected | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: fw/ZVIAF ) 06/07/21(Mon)07:17:11 No.37124216 >Thank you for your interest in our company, unfortunately - 53 KB PNG
: Anonymous (ID: fw/ZVIAF ) 06/07/21(Mon)07:17:11 No.37124216 >Thank you for your interest in our company, unfortunately - 53 KB PNG

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Anon texts his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/19(Mon)01:43:39 No.52941601 >Father's day 2019 >Dad was never really involved much in my life >we never talk >Last year he told me he was always there for me >Feelsgoodmam.jpeg >But we still don't talk 10 KB JPG >Feel bad about it >Send him text message "Happy Father's Day dad, I wanted to thank you for all you have done for me, and just wanted to let you know I love yah" >Get reply "К" >MFW I remember why we don't talk > my dad's an a------
: Anonymous 06/17/19(Mon)01:43:39 No.52941601 >Father's day 2019 >Dad was never really involved much in my life >we never talk >Last year he told me he was always there for me >Feelsgoodmam.jpeg >But we still don't talk 10 KB JPG >Feel bad about it >Send him text message "Happy Father's Day dad, I wanted to thank you for all you have done for me, and just wanted to let you know I love yah" >Get reply "К" >MFW I remember why we don't talk > my dad's an a------

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Anon works at the airport | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)17:07:31 No.785261856 >Be me >Security guard at airport >Fml every day same s--- >Consider suicide at least twice a shift >One day see hottie with a great ass and green 1.41 MB PNG leggings >She's walking a bit funny Suspicion.zip >Run metal detector on her while trying to cop a cheeky feel >Oh s--- detector went off >Oh s--- she looks nervous best investigate >Oh s--- oh s--- oh s--- >mfw I just busted an international diamond smuggler 16 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)17:07:31 No.785261856 >Be me >Security guard at airport >Fml every day same s--- >Consider suicide at least twice a shift >One day see hottie with a great ass and green 1.41 MB PNG leggings >She's walking a bit funny Suspicion.zip >Run metal detector on her while trying to cop a cheeky feel >Oh s--- detector went off >Oh s--- she looks nervous best investigate >Oh s--- oh s--- oh s--- >mfw I just busted an international diamond smuggler 16 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon is a master manipulator | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)21:07:25 No.62950365 The Virgin Cha >hire a h----- >tell her I'm a virgin >not actually a virgin, have had plenty of sex >but when she thinks it's my first time, she's very gentle and sensual, and I get to act nervous and submissive, which really turns 34 KB JPG me on >when I act all amazed when I touch boobs "for the first time", it actually feels more special to me >I love how caring she is and how she takes the lead if she thinks she's deflowering me >when I finish, she cuddles with me and calls me a good boy I've done this with about 20 different hookers now and I can't stop.
: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)21:07:25 No.62950365 The Virgin Cha >hire a h----- >tell her I'm a virgin >not actually a virgin, have had plenty of sex >but when she thinks it's my first time, she's very gentle and sensual, and I get to act nervous and submissive, which really turns 34 KB JPG me on >when I act all amazed when I touch boobs "for the first time", it actually feels more special to me >I love how caring she is and how she takes the lead if she thinks she's deflowering me >when I finish, she cuddles with me and calls me a good boy I've done this with about 20 different hookers now and I can't stop.

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Anon fucking dies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/26/18(Wed)11:54:05 No.48353382 >pimple inside nostril 5 KB JPG 8 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 09/26/18(Wed)11:54:05 No.48353382 >pimple inside nostril 5 KB JPG 8 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/18(Fri)11:24:26 No.76704835 Had a weird dream last night >In a gym bathroom >Brushing my teeth for whatever reason >finish up, spit water out >Run tongue over teeth 45 KB JPG >Violent loud sound >Like a thousand balloons rubbing together >Everyone stops and looks at me >Nervously try to play it off >Casually say "Squeaky clean boys." >Walk out of gym bathroom >Wake up
: Anonymous 04/27/18(Fri)11:24:26 No.76704835 Had a weird dream last night >In a gym bathroom >Brushing my teeth for whatever reason >finish up, spit water out >Run tongue over teeth 45 KB JPG >Violent loud sound >Like a thousand balloons rubbing together >Everyone stops and looks at me >Nervously try to play it off >Casually say "Squeaky clean boys." >Walk out of gym bathroom >Wake up

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Anon is having a bad day | /r/Greentext

Anonymous rYF1TM+D 4 hours ago 11B1B63E-09B8-41B8-BC1E-13966B33138D.jpg (76.3 KB, 300x406) 37359622 >just got fired >$290k in debt >caught wife of 5 years cheating on me three weeks ago with her coworker >car battery dead >behind on rent I've got $75 hard cash, what do I do before I kill myself? FaceApp 63 REPLIES
Anonymous rYF1TM+D 4 hours ago 11B1B63E-09B8-41B8-BC1E-13966B33138D.jpg (76.3 KB, 300x406) 37359622 >just got fired >$290k in debt >caught wife of 5 years cheating on me three weeks ago with her coworker >car battery dead >behind on rent I've got $75 hard cash, what do I do before I kill myself? FaceApp 63 REPLIES

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Anon has a final word for his grandchildren | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/16/19(Sun)00:11:48 No.52924539 >be me >on my deathbed >year is 2092 >surrounded by children and grandchildren >theyre hardly 46 KB JPG recognizable due to years of state enforced homosexuality and race mixing >gender is now something only taught in history books >too glued to their neurobroadcasting devices to even realize where they are >draw a shaky breath >"come closer my children" >eyes are closing for the last time >"I have something important to tell you before I die" >they pause their devices for a moment and come to my bedside >I can tell this is my final breath >one last shaky inhale >"n-----"
Anonymous 06/16/19(Sun)00:11:48 No.52924539 >be me >on my deathbed >year is 2092 >surrounded by children and grandchildren >theyre hardly 46 KB JPG recognizable due to years of state enforced homosexuality and race mixing >gender is now something only taught in history books >too glued to their neurobroadcasting devices to even realize where they are >draw a shaky breath >"come closer my children" >eyes are closing for the last time >"I have something important to tell you before I die" >they pause their devices for a moment and come to my bedside >I can tell this is my final breath >one last shaky inhale >"n-----"

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JapAnon pays fine attention to detail | /r/Greentext

File: enhanced-buzz-2065-136772(.)Lipa (134 KB, 600x450) I Anonymous E 06/20/14(Fri)15:50:35 No.26044462 >>26044551 >>26044620 >>26044631 >>26044656 >26044722 >26044737 >american parenting >> Anonymous D 06/20/14(Fri)16:00:48 No.26044852 26044885 >26044889 26044895 >26044912 >26044964 >>26045086 >26045138 >26045218 Why nobody points out that a pantie of the girl in the picture is shown a little bit? Anonymous 06/20/14(Fri)16:01:41 No.26044885 File: 1274081927400.png (114 KB, 214x270) I Anonymous O 06/20/14(Fri)16:02:20 No.26044912 ► File: laughinglaptopguy png (69 KB, 225x225) >> >>26044852 Trust a J-- to notice >>26044852 Oh Japan Anonymous 06/20/14(Fri)16:01:47 No.26044889 >> I Anonymous File: 1397777626120.gif (1.89 MB, 236x224) 06/20/14(Fri)16:10:42 No.26045218 >>26044852 you have problems man and you know its bad when an arab points it out 2>26044852 Goddamn Japan.. could you not, for just once.
File: enhanced-buzz-2065-136772(.)Lipa (134 KB, 600x450) I Anonymous E 06/20/14(Fri)15:50:35 No.26044462 >>26044551 >>26044620 >>26044631 >>26044656 >26044722 >26044737 >american parenting >> Anonymous D 06/20/14(Fri)16:00:48 No.26044852 26044885 >26044889 26044895 >26044912 >26044964 >>26045086 >26045138 >26045218 Why nobody points out that a pantie of the girl in the picture is shown a little bit? Anonymous 06/20/14(Fri)16:01:41 No.26044885 File: 1274081927400.png (114 KB, 214x270) I Anonymous O 06/20/14(Fri)16:02:20 No.26044912 ► File: laughinglaptopguy png (69 KB, 225x225) >> >>26044852 Trust a J-- to notice >>26044852 Oh Japan Anonymous 06/20/14(Fri)16:01:47 No.26044889 >> I Anonymous File: 1397777626120.gif (1.89 MB, 236x224) 06/20/14(Fri)16:10:42 No.26045218 >>26044852 you have problems man and you know its bad when an arab points it out 2>26044852 Goddamn Japan.. could you not, for just once.

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Anon has a date | /r/Greentext

>be me, 26 >decent job, getting into shape, self improving >extremely lonely >decide to open myself up to dating 10 KB JPG >meet this girl who is going to university >take her on a relatively cheap date >drive her home, then go home >she seems like a decent person >next date, take her to a much nicer place >same thing happens >do this two more times >we're a little drunk >decide to come in with her >she stops me >things get a little weird >ask if we're even dating >she laughs in my face and says of course not >says she doesn't really know yet >just walk away >go about my normal life for like a month >get a call from her asking what happened >what the f--- >she's upset that I ghosted her >tell her we aren't dating and not to call me again >get calls and texts from her for like a month >it's becomes progressively insane >she starts making all sorts of wild accusations, crying on the phone, begging me to- >hang up again >few months later >heard she flunked out of school and moved back home Dating is f------ awful. F--- this s---, I'm happy being alone again. F--- women.
>be me, 26 >decent job, getting into shape, self improving >extremely lonely >decide to open myself up to dating 10 KB JPG >meet this girl who is going to university >take her on a relatively cheap date >drive her home, then go home >she seems like a decent person >next date, take her to a much nicer place >same thing happens >do this two more times >we're a little drunk >decide to come in with her >she stops me >things get a little weird >ask if we're even dating >she laughs in my face and says of course not >says she doesn't really know yet >just walk away >go about my normal life for like a month >get a call from her asking what happened >what the f--- >she's upset that I ghosted her >tell her we aren't dating and not to call me again >get calls and texts from her for like a month >it's becomes progressively insane >she starts making all sorts of wild accusations, crying on the phone, begging me to- >hang up again >few months later >heard she flunked out of school and moved back home Dating is f------ awful. F--- this s---, I'm happy being alone again. F--- women.

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Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

5:37 WHOOPS! Can't show that in a Christian manga ! /el-Ecchi : Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)05:12:02 No.856575735 what's wrong with me bros Dr. Dazzle >be me >meet girl from bumble >finally meet her >get in her car because I don't have one >not sure what to say so I sit there in awkward silence for 10 minutes Reed Sed 12FL 02 D60 m 16 KB JPG >try to think of something to break the silence >we stop at a red light and figure this is my time >randomly remember girls poop >find it crazy how girls also poop >l ask her how often she poops >she asks me "what?" >l say "oh yeah, like you never think about how people poop but isn't it crazy how we all poop >green light and she just says yeah I guess and starts driving again >get embarrassed and mumble "oh f------ s---" under my breath >she swerves to the nearest gas station and yells at me to get up >"did you just say you took a f------ s--- on my car?" >no I said.. s--- >show her her seat is clear and not full of s--- >we stare at each other for like 5 seconds >she just shakes her head and leaves me there and drives off >why am I like this guys 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)05:24:12 No.856576141 >>856575735 (OP) # i pray to god this is a larp because I would never wish this to happen upon any human II
5:37 WHOOPS! Can't show that in a Christian manga ! /el-Ecchi : Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)05:12:02 No.856575735 what's wrong with me bros Dr. Dazzle >be me >meet girl from bumble >finally meet her >get in her car because I don't have one >not sure what to say so I sit there in awkward silence for 10 minutes Reed Sed 12FL 02 D60 m 16 KB JPG >try to think of something to break the silence >we stop at a red light and figure this is my time >randomly remember girls poop >find it crazy how girls also poop >l ask her how often she poops >she asks me "what?" >l say "oh yeah, like you never think about how people poop but isn't it crazy how we all poop >green light and she just says yeah I guess and starts driving again >get embarrassed and mumble "oh f------ s---" under my breath >she swerves to the nearest gas station and yells at me to get up >"did you just say you took a f------ s--- on my car?" >no I said.. s--- >show her her seat is clear and not full of s--- >we stare at each other for like 5 seconds >she just shakes her head and leaves me there and drives off >why am I like this guys 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)05:24:12 No.856576141 >>856575735 (OP) # i pray to god this is a larp because I would never wish this to happen upon any human II

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