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Anon realizes a depressing thought | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/20(Sat)14:32:58 No.61025172 >sleep for 12+ hours >wake up at noon >refresh the same few websites over and over again >do absolutely f------ nothing >start and try to play video game 360 KB PNG >quit after a few minutes because i cant even force myself to have fun with it anymore >continue refreshing 4chan and youtube for hours again occasionally watching a few youtube videos that look interesting and that i havent seen yet >go to sleep feeling like a tired corpse even though i havent done anything is this even a life anymore?
: Anonymous 11/21/20(Sat)14:32:58 No.61025172 >sleep for 12+ hours >wake up at noon >refresh the same few websites over and over again >do absolutely f------ nothing >start and try to play video game 360 KB PNG >quit after a few minutes because i cant even force myself to have fun with it anymore >continue refreshing 4chan and youtube for hours again occasionally watching a few youtube videos that look interesting and that i havent seen yet >go to sleep feeling like a tired corpse even though i havent done anything is this even a life anymore?

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Anon has been browsing too many loli threads | /r/Greentext

File: trump.jpg (7 KB, 183x275) U Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)20:32:45 No.856475362 ► >be me "be you?" >yes >be me "why?" >been browsing tons of loli threads on /b/ "b?" >yes, /b/ >and these threads...they're full of drawings of naked children... >these drawings are sick...disgusting...and yet...they are necessary... "sir, are you feeling all right?" >p--------- is not a sexuality...it is a sickness..but if these drawings can keep these sick, sick people from acting out their perverted fantasies on innocent children, we need to encourage these drawings...we have to spread the word about this... "sir, do you know where you are?" >i'm on /b/ "no, sir. you're in washington d.c. do you know who i am?" >yeah >probably some f------ normie redditfag "sir, my name is andres obrador. i am the president of mexico." >kamala finally speaks up "joe, for the last time, president obrador has come to the oval office to discuss our border policy. and you keep rambling about naked kid drawings. but whatever, f--- it, you're still better than pic related"
File: trump.jpg (7 KB, 183x275) U Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)20:32:45 No.856475362 ► >be me "be you?" >yes >be me "why?" >been browsing tons of loli threads on /b/ "b?" >yes, /b/ >and these threads...they're full of drawings of naked children... >these drawings are sick...disgusting...and yet...they are necessary... "sir, are you feeling all right?" >p--------- is not a sexuality...it is a sickness..but if these drawings can keep these sick, sick people from acting out their perverted fantasies on innocent children, we need to encourage these drawings...we have to spread the word about this... "sir, do you know where you are?" >i'm on /b/ "no, sir. you're in washington d.c. do you know who i am?" >yeah >probably some f------ normie redditfag "sir, my name is andres obrador. i am the president of mexico." >kamala finally speaks up "joe, for the last time, president obrador has come to the oval office to discuss our border policy. and you keep rambling about naked kid drawings. but whatever, f--- it, you're still better than pic related"

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Anon has an eventful time at the cinema | /r/Greentext

272d3f1985fbb13fd8701390f.) jpg (38 KB, 640x628) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 11/19/17(Sun)10:13:51 No.90452095 - >>90452267 >>90452385 >>90452451 >>90453024 >at cinema with dad >character says the word n----- >dad laughs out loud Anyone want to trade? B Anonymous EO Anonymous 11/19/17(Sun)10:15:34 No.90452144 v >>90452161 >>90452257 >>90452264 >>90452285 >>90452322 >>90452350 >>90452384 >>90452385 >>90452394 >>90452402 >>90452452 >>90452798 >>90452835 >>90452871 >>90453027 >>90453047 >>90453055 >>90453080 >>90453104 >at cinema with n----- >character says the word dad >n----- looks around in confusion
272d3f1985fbb13fd8701390f.) jpg (38 KB, 640x628) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 11/19/17(Sun)10:13:51 No.90452095 - >>90452267 >>90452385 >>90452451 >>90453024 >at cinema with dad >character says the word n----- >dad laughs out loud Anyone want to trade? B Anonymous EO Anonymous 11/19/17(Sun)10:15:34 No.90452144 v >>90452161 >>90452257 >>90452264 >>90452285 >>90452322 >>90452350 >>90452384 >>90452385 >>90452394 >>90452402 >>90452452 >>90452798 >>90452835 >>90452871 >>90453027 >>90453047 >>90453055 >>90453080 >>90453104 >at cinema with n----- >character says the word dad >n----- looks around in confusion

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Anon Has Aspergers | /r/Greentext

File: D202AMHWKAABF81.jpg (14 KB, 251x242) O Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)23:23:19 No.856488781 >have aspergers heh >ass burgers
File: D202AMHWKAABF81.jpg (14 KB, 251x242) O Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)23:23:19 No.856488781 >have aspergers heh >ass burgers

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Anon spills some milk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/16(Tue)14:37:15 No.669211631 >>669207142 (OP) # >Be like a billion years ago >Every day get milk for lunch >F------ hate milk >End of lunchI would go to band instrument storage room and stash milk carton in cieling >Did this for about 6 months >One day in band class >F----- kid showing off to girls >Thinks hes athletic >"Bet you I can reach the cieling" >F----- smacks one of the cieling tiles and spills 6 month old chunky lemon milk everywhere >lt gets all over him and the girls >Just watching in amazement >Then the smell hits >Oh god the smell, I can still smell it to this day >I throw up from the smell >Another girl in back throws up, can see the spaghetti she ate only an hour ago >Band instructor clears out room, class canceled becausxe of smell, go play unreal tournament in library for an hour >f----- kid gets suspended for a few days >School has to replace entire cieling keked softly for a while >>669212133 #
: Anonymous 02/16/16(Tue)14:37:15 No.669211631 >>669207142 (OP) # >Be like a billion years ago >Every day get milk for lunch >F------ hate milk >End of lunchI would go to band instrument storage room and stash milk carton in cieling >Did this for about 6 months >One day in band class >F----- kid showing off to girls >Thinks hes athletic >"Bet you I can reach the cieling" >F----- smacks one of the cieling tiles and spills 6 month old chunky lemon milk everywhere >lt gets all over him and the girls >Just watching in amazement >Then the smell hits >Oh god the smell, I can still smell it to this day >I throw up from the smell >Another girl in back throws up, can see the spaghetti she ate only an hour ago >Band instructor clears out room, class canceled becausxe of smell, go play unreal tournament in library for an hour >f----- kid gets suspended for a few days >School has to replace entire cieling keked softly for a while >>669212133 #

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Anon wants a normie family. | /r/Greentext

O PLEASE HELP 06/09/21(Wed)19:59:12 No.24348162 >be me >depressed neet >somehow have a qt 3.14 girlfriend >one day find positive pregnancy test in the bathroom trash >confront girlfriend about it >she says not to worry she's getting an abortion >drive her to the abortion clinic the following week >sit with her in the waiting room >girl comes out in a wheelchair sweaty and crying >realize I don't want to put my girlfriend through that >tell girlfriend i want to have a normie family >she agrees >get my life together >start going to the gym >become a wagecuck >buy a small cozy house >buy a ring to propose >girlfriend has the baby few months later >baby is black >mfw Got my life together for a cheating w----. Never fall in love anons
O PLEASE HELP 06/09/21(Wed)19:59:12 No.24348162 >be me >depressed neet >somehow have a qt 3.14 girlfriend >one day find positive pregnancy test in the bathroom trash >confront girlfriend about it >she says not to worry she's getting an abortion >drive her to the abortion clinic the following week >sit with her in the waiting room >girl comes out in a wheelchair sweaty and crying >realize I don't want to put my girlfriend through that >tell girlfriend i want to have a normie family >she agrees >get my life together >start going to the gym >become a wagecuck >buy a small cozy house >buy a ring to propose >girlfriend has the baby few months later >baby is black >mfw Got my life together for a cheating w----. Never fall in love anons

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Anon tells another Anon's war story | /r/Greentext

05/23/21(Sun)18:16:32 No.49410797 A poster here told this one in a thread like this a few years back, I'll try to detail it as closely to his story as possible. >Be deployed to Iraq circa 2008 >Commander is a hard ass for ROE's, so much so it makes it impossible to carry out missions at times >Go out on patrol, stop in villages to give out Tootsie rolls and coloring books, hearts and minds s--- >Stop in a village, kids all gather around for their gibs >One little f-----, about 9 years old, manages to get ahold of a box of hand grenades somehow >He starts lobbing them and raising hell >Request permission to ice the little ackbar >denied.gif >Commander states anyone who engages the kid will be immediately court martialed upon return to the states >Tactical retreat >Return to the same village later on to give out more books and candy >Kid starts chunking grenades again, we leave without giving any of the coloring books or candy >One 6 year old is p----- he didn't get his Tootsie rolls, finds an AKM bayonet and stabs the grenade lobbing kid in the gut >Next time we're back we give the bayonet kid extra candy and books >Commander gets relieved of command when we get back to the states for his incompetence
05/23/21(Sun)18:16:32 No.49410797 A poster here told this one in a thread like this a few years back, I'll try to detail it as closely to his story as possible. >Be deployed to Iraq circa 2008 >Commander is a hard ass for ROE's, so much so it makes it impossible to carry out missions at times >Go out on patrol, stop in villages to give out Tootsie rolls and coloring books, hearts and minds s--- >Stop in a village, kids all gather around for their gibs >One little f-----, about 9 years old, manages to get ahold of a box of hand grenades somehow >He starts lobbing them and raising hell >Request permission to ice the little ackbar >denied.gif >Commander states anyone who engages the kid will be immediately court martialed upon return to the states >Tactical retreat >Return to the same village later on to give out more books and candy >Kid starts chunking grenades again, we leave without giving any of the coloring books or candy >One 6 year old is p----- he didn't get his Tootsie rolls, finds an AKM bayonet and stabs the grenade lobbing kid in the gut >Next time we're back we give the bayonet kid extra candy and books >Commander gets relieved of command when we get back to the states for his incompetence

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Berry safe? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)17:55:17 No.63067891 >Be me >Find berry >Tell unga to eat berry >Unga eat berry >Unga fall suddenly >Unga sleep for 3 moons >Unga still sleep 180 KB JPG >Not sure if berry safe
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)17:55:17 No.63067891 >Be me >Find berry >Tell unga to eat berry >Unga eat berry >Unga fall suddenly >Unga sleep for 3 moons >Unga still sleep 180 KB JPG >Not sure if berry safe

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Anon plays minecraft | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/25/18(Tue)19:13:04 No.48339784 >Be me >10 minutes ago >Decide to try minecraft again >Download game >Boot it up >Menu music plays 312 KB PNG >FEELS.exe >Flashback to me when was 12 >Played minecraft with my friends all day >Was so happy >Realize how sad I've become >Wish I could go back to when times were simpler >Start crying >Haven't cried for years because robot >Still crying as I'm writing this
: Anonymous 09/25/18(Tue)19:13:04 No.48339784 >Be me >10 minutes ago >Decide to try minecraft again >Download game >Boot it up >Menu music plays 312 KB PNG >FEELS.exe >Flashback to me when was 12 >Played minecraft with my friends all day >Was so happy >Realize how sad I've become >Wish I could go back to when times were simpler >Start crying >Haven't cried for years because robot >Still crying as I'm writing this

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Anon stops a suicide | /r/Greentext

1560055213519.jpg 68 KB JPG >>485183560 # >Find out friend is in a t----- discord >Wait until he starts testing the waters seeing if I'm okay with him coming out >"Yeah bro you do you" >Starts sending me pictures because they're all desperate attention w----- >Email them to his dad >Last online 86 days ago >>485184030 # >>485184096 # >>485184843 #
1560055213519.jpg 68 KB JPG >>485183560 # >Find out friend is in a t----- discord >Wait until he starts testing the waters seeing if I'm okay with him coming out >"Yeah bro you do you" >Starts sending me pictures because they're all desperate attention w----- >Email them to his dad >Last online 86 days ago >>485184030 # >>485184096 # >>485184843 #

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Anon is a pro gamer | /r/Greentext

: Anon professional gamer 02/01/21(Mon)12:01:36 No.542673565 > be me > 12 years old > what do you want to be when you grow up anon? >i like video games > that's a hobby not a career anon > fast fwd 10 years 29 KB JPG > twitch gamers make more than my desk job butyousaid.jpg > pandemic begins outside > anon you no longer need to report to the office. pls work from home lennyface.txt > be wednesday >i could finalize this report or I could prestige in warzone > set Skype to Active > play 8 games in 6 hours > clock out for dinner at 5pm > that's $14 a game > mfw i am professional gamer
: Anon professional gamer 02/01/21(Mon)12:01:36 No.542673565 > be me > 12 years old > what do you want to be when you grow up anon? >i like video games > that's a hobby not a career anon > fast fwd 10 years 29 KB JPG > twitch gamers make more than my desk job butyousaid.jpg > pandemic begins outside > anon you no longer need to report to the office. pls work from home lennyface.txt > be wednesday >i could finalize this report or I could prestige in warzone > set Skype to Active > play 8 games in 6 hours > clock out for dinner at 5pm > that's $14 a game > mfw i am professional gamer

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Greentext Rome stories - Part 1 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: JrYOpO4M) 08/26/13(Mon)19:07:25 >>502359445 ITT: Rome stories >Be me >sentorial class, but kinda plebish >decide to go to forum to pick up puellae >see a IX/X puella >ohjupiterthatbottom.marblestatue >go up to her >heard pick up line from my buddy cassius, try it out >"hey girl are you parthian?" >"no" >"because you shot an arrow into my heart" >looks at me like marius would look at sulla >"my pater familiae died in that battle" >my face goes redder than the theater of pompey on the ides of march >she walks away >go home and f--- my boy slave >i miss cato
Anonymous (ID: JrYOpO4M) 08/26/13(Mon)19:07:25 >>502359445 ITT: Rome stories >Be me >sentorial class, but kinda plebish >decide to go to forum to pick up puellae >see a IX/X puella >ohjupiterthatbottom.marblestatue >go up to her >heard pick up line from my buddy cassius, try it out >"hey girl are you parthian?" >"no" >"because you shot an arrow into my heart" >looks at me like marius would look at sulla >"my pater familiae died in that battle" >my face goes redder than the theater of pompey on the ides of march >she walks away >go home and f--- my boy slave >i miss cato

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anon is a liar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Help AnOns 06/24/19(Mon)14:33:56 No.53056693 >be me >chad face manlet >meet a girl on vidya >she really likes me >we start edating >find out we live close >she asks how tall I am I say 5'8 44 KB JPG >she is 5'6 I'm actually 5'5 and she is coming over today what the f--- do I do HELP ANONS : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)14:34:58 No.53056699 Ok listen to me. You have dyslexia and misread your height on the ruler >>53056712 # >>53057080 #
: Anonymous Help AnOns 06/24/19(Mon)14:33:56 No.53056693 >be me >chad face manlet >meet a girl on vidya >she really likes me >we start edating >find out we live close >she asks how tall I am I say 5'8 44 KB JPG >she is 5'6 I'm actually 5'5 and she is coming over today what the f--- do I do HELP ANONS : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)14:34:58 No.53056699 Ok listen to me. You have dyslexia and misread your height on the ruler >>53056712 # >>53057080 #

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)22:13:38 No.856446978 >Be me >just got my high school yearbook 350 КВ PNG >looking through its pages >mom comes next to me >She points to a pic of my bully and says "who is this hot guy?" I want to kill myself now
: Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)22:13:38 No.856446978 >Be me >just got my high school yearbook 350 КВ PNG >looking through its pages >mom comes next to me >She points to a pic of my bully and says "who is this hot guy?" I want to kill myself now

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Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Ackward Moments wih Costumer S(...) 06/09/21(Wed)16:05:08 No.64068820 >Be me >Barely go out besides buying stuff and food >Decide i want to eat pizza >Little Caesar's is accross the street so i go there >Ask for my order and they tell me 328 KB PNG to wait for like 15 minutes. >Get my ticket while i wait >Cashier says my name so i go and pickup my pizza >Cashier extends hand >Confused, but i give him a handshake >Cashier looks at me funny and i still don't get what's going on >"i need your ticket, Sir" >Realize >Inmediately feel ashamed to hell and back Why am i this much of a retard? I cannot enter that place anymore out of pure embarrasment.
: Anonymous Ackward Moments wih Costumer S(...) 06/09/21(Wed)16:05:08 No.64068820 >Be me >Barely go out besides buying stuff and food >Decide i want to eat pizza >Little Caesar's is accross the street so i go there >Ask for my order and they tell me 328 KB PNG to wait for like 15 minutes. >Get my ticket while i wait >Cashier says my name so i go and pickup my pizza >Cashier extends hand >Confused, but i give him a handshake >Cashier looks at me funny and i still don't get what's going on >"i need your ticket, Sir" >Realize >Inmediately feel ashamed to hell and back Why am i this much of a retard? I cannot enter that place anymore out of pure embarrasment.

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Anon appreciates nofap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous P--- and M----------- are depl(...) 06/09/21 (Wed)16:53:05 No.64075844 >P--- causes irreversible brain damage >Jerking off limits testosterone, muscles become weaker >Dopamine receptors will be fried meaning you will never experience true happiness 90 KB PNG Quit now. No fapping = god powers
: Anonymous P--- and M----------- are depl(...) 06/09/21 (Wed)16:53:05 No.64075844 >P--- causes irreversible brain damage >Jerking off limits testosterone, muscles become weaker >Dopamine receptors will be fried meaning you will never experience true happiness 90 KB PNG Quit now. No fapping = god powers

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Anon gets a chicken | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)17:00:19 No.810941096 >be from Congo >walk to my wife's side of the hut >she's using a bazooka as a dildo >tell her we need to go to the village for food 415 KB JPG >she won't stop masterbating >hear a click >she looks up at me concerned >f------ explodes >she is literally a red stain on the ground >dammit there's a hole in the house >fixing this hole won't put grub in my belly >grab some spare AK47S to trade >sling them over my shoulder and start walking down the trail >get to village >one of the vendors is trying to sell me a chicken >he says the chicken lays eggs and is practically infinite food >give him a couple AK47S and bring the chicken home >you know this chicken looks really tasty >eat the chicken raw, feathers and all >starve to death two weeks later
: Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)17:00:19 No.810941096 >be from Congo >walk to my wife's side of the hut >she's using a bazooka as a dildo >tell her we need to go to the village for food 415 KB JPG >she won't stop masterbating >hear a click >she looks up at me concerned >f------ explodes >she is literally a red stain on the ground >dammit there's a hole in the house >fixing this hole won't put grub in my belly >grab some spare AK47S to trade >sling them over my shoulder and start walking down the trail >get to village >one of the vendors is trying to sell me a chicken >he says the chicken lays eggs and is practically infinite food >give him a couple AK47S and bring the chicken home >you know this chicken looks really tasty >eat the chicken raw, feathers and all >starve to death two weeks later

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Gaben makes an announcement | /r/Greentext

File: 1338794837362 jpg-(155 KB, 800x1200, Gabe_01.jpg) Anonymous 06/04/12(Mon)03:27 No.141846848 >Gabe comes onto stage >Talks about new Steam features, Dota 2 >Conference is coming to a close >Audience sighs in unison >"Oh and one more thing" >"Attendees perk up >A huge f------ 3 slowly fades onto screen >Crowd turns into bananas and bursts into treats >An "E" quickly pops up next to it >"Have a nice E3" >Gabe gets shot
File: 1338794837362 jpg-(155 KB, 800x1200, Gabe_01.jpg) Anonymous 06/04/12(Mon)03:27 No.141846848 >Gabe comes onto stage >Talks about new Steam features, Dota 2 >Conference is coming to a close >Audience sighs in unison >"Oh and one more thing" >"Attendees perk up >A huge f------ 3 slowly fades onto screen >Crowd turns into bananas and bursts into treats >An "E" quickly pops up next to it >"Have a nice E3" >Gabe gets shot

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Anon gets some action in bed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Spooky stories 01/27/21(Wed)19:25:56 No.62053745 Friend told me this story that aoparently happened to his uncle.or whatever >Go to bed >Wake up in the middle of the night because of strange noises in his bedroom >Turn bedside lamp on >There's a woman with no facial features other 42 KB JPG then her mouth standing in his room >She's wielding a big ass knife >He's so scared he can't even scream >She gets on his bed and sits on top of him >Sticks the knife bedside table >Turns the light off and proceeds to f--- the s--- out of him >He wakes up in the morning thinking it was all a dream >There's still the knife's hole in the bedside table He was a bit of a stoner and a drinker, but never did anything other than weed and booze. He quit drinking shortly after that.
: Anonymous Spooky stories 01/27/21(Wed)19:25:56 No.62053745 Friend told me this story that aoparently happened to his uncle.or whatever >Go to bed >Wake up in the middle of the night because of strange noises in his bedroom >Turn bedside lamp on >There's a woman with no facial features other 42 KB JPG then her mouth standing in his room >She's wielding a big ass knife >He's so scared he can't even scream >She gets on his bed and sits on top of him >Sticks the knife bedside table >Turns the light off and proceeds to f--- the s--- out of him >He wakes up in the morning thinking it was all a dream >There's still the knife's hole in the bedside table He was a bit of a stoner and a drinker, but never did anything other than weed and booze. He quit drinking shortly after that.

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Anon walks dogs | /r/Greentext

! Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)18:27:23 No.856467654 > be me young single m > just moved to nyc > want to meet some locals > also want a dog but apartment too small and roommate allergic to furs 51 KB PNG > walking to work see flyer > "I Walk dogs for 10 dollars" braincell.gif > write my number on the flyer and write For Free > ffwd to later at work > phone rings > hey anon I saw your flyer I have two dogs that need to be walked > leave work early to walk these two furry friends > they jump up on me love sniffing and getting attention from me feels good man > decide I want to do this full time > don't charge anything just do it for the dogs :) met a lot of local dogs this way. many of you should try this
! Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)18:27:23 No.856467654 > be me young single m > just moved to nyc > want to meet some locals > also want a dog but apartment too small and roommate allergic to furs 51 KB PNG > walking to work see flyer > "I Walk dogs for 10 dollars" braincell.gif > write my number on the flyer and write For Free > ffwd to later at work > phone rings > hey anon I saw your flyer I have two dogs that need to be walked > leave work early to walk these two furry friends > they jump up on me love sniffing and getting attention from me feels good man > decide I want to do this full time > don't charge anything just do it for the dogs :) met a lot of local dogs this way. many of you should try this

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