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Anon gets a puppy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/13/19(Wed)13:55:42 No.792533342 >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea 31 KB PNG >l will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy
: Anonymous 02/13/19(Wed)13:55:42 No.792533342 >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea 31 KB PNG >l will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy

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Degeneracy at its finest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:00:45 No.64048971 >tfw finally got a gf >no longer have to spend hours here trying to simp for fembots I gave them so much attention only for them to ghost me. I got the last laugh you mentally ill 32 KB JPG c----. : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:01:46 No.64048976 anon there were never any fembots : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:03:09 No.64048989 >people actually simp for guys pretending to be girls on this board How does humanity thrive? >>64049307 #
: Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:00:45 No.64048971 >tfw finally got a gf >no longer have to spend hours here trying to simp for fembots I gave them so much attention only for them to ghost me. I got the last laugh you mentally ill 32 KB JPG c----. : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:01:46 No.64048976 anon there were never any fembots : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:03:09 No.64048989 >people actually simp for guys pretending to be girls on this board How does humanity thrive? >>64049307 #

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Anon was betrayed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 54072054 3 min. ago >be me >29 >been with gf for 5 years, living with her for 3 >dinner date, plan to propose, asked bro waiter to bring ring after dessert >she seems nervous, maybe she knows what I'm planning >tears up after main course >tells me she's been cheating on me for 8 months 1.6 MB GIF >with my best friend >leaves weeping >waiter hands me a beer without comment >this was our 5th anniversary date It doesn't get better, anons. Life is indeed suffering. Maybe l'll just ask out the waiter and go full gay. Where's the tavern when you need it.
Anonymous 54072054 3 min. ago >be me >29 >been with gf for 5 years, living with her for 3 >dinner date, plan to propose, asked bro waiter to bring ring after dessert >she seems nervous, maybe she knows what I'm planning >tears up after main course >tells me she's been cheating on me for 8 months 1.6 MB GIF >with my best friend >leaves weeping >waiter hands me a beer without comment >this was our 5th anniversary date It doesn't get better, anons. Life is indeed suffering. Maybe l'll just ask out the waiter and go full gay. Where's the tavern when you need it.

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Anon describes plebbit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)13:31:19 No.64063911 >No I'm more pathetic than YOU! >lol NO I'm MORE PATHETIC than YOU!! 80 KB JPG >>64063937 #
: Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)13:31:19 No.64063911 >No I'm more pathetic than YOU! >lol NO I'm MORE PATHETIC than YOU!! 80 KB JPG >>64063937 #

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/out/ discusses bringing oil out on the trail | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous olive oil pill 05/20/21(Thu)03:04:27 No.2113275 olive oil should be in everyones gear. >240 cals per ounce >safe to drink up to two ounces a Its not a Trennd, Its a Tradition. day >can be stored in a water bottle 439 KB JPG holder >super light >can be stored in a water bottle >refreshing drink >if you have been poisoned drink more than 2 ounces to make yourself vomit or s--- out the poison >good for lubrication; pour on ones self in the event of a bear attack to slide downhill towards saftey bring olive oil. what are some of your other secret foods? : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)03:12:44 No.2113281 Olive oil is no good only sunflower seed oil >>2113785 # >>2116506 # >>2119082 # >>2119093 # Anonymous05/23/21(Sun)10:41:28 No.2116506 : Anonymo >>2113281 # > good fo seed oils make you retarded and gay Yeah i kno
: Anonymous olive oil pill 05/20/21(Thu)03:04:27 No.2113275 olive oil should be in everyones gear. >240 cals per ounce >safe to drink up to two ounces a Its not a Trennd, Its a Tradition. day >can be stored in a water bottle 439 KB JPG holder >super light >can be stored in a water bottle >refreshing drink >if you have been poisoned drink more than 2 ounces to make yourself vomit or s--- out the poison >good for lubrication; pour on ones self in the event of a bear attack to slide downhill towards saftey bring olive oil. what are some of your other secret foods? : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)03:12:44 No.2113281 Olive oil is no good only sunflower seed oil >>2113785 # >>2116506 # >>2119082 # >>2119093 # Anonymous05/23/21(Sun)10:41:28 No.2116506 : Anonymo >>2113281 # > good fo seed oils make you retarded and gay Yeah i kno

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Anon is specific | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)17:44:37 No.64061782 1622341681167.png 108 KB PNG >tfw not attracted to men >get super aroused at the thought of someone putting a [much larger] d--- on top of my own, comparing the two and bullying me about my small penis >this specific fantasy is becoming more and more pronounced by the day >>64061845 # >>64061888 # >>64061920 #
: Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)17:44:37 No.64061782 1622341681167.png 108 KB PNG >tfw not attracted to men >get super aroused at the thought of someone putting a [much larger] d--- on top of my own, comparing the two and bullying me about my small penis >this specific fantasy is becoming more and more pronounced by the day >>64061845 # >>64061888 # >>64061920 #

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Anon has a nice date | /r/Greentext

File: 1603420274503s.jpg (3 KB, 125x119) O Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)22:51:16 No.856407726 ► >be me >match with a gril on tinder >meet up at a local coffee place >waiting for her to show up >f------ 10 foot long shoe enters through the door >what.png >its her, the bitch I matched with is in full f------ clown costume >red nose, white make-up, and the f------ shoes >she walks up to me and squirts me in the face with a flower on her dress >classic >she walks up the counter and honks three times >person behind the counter nods and says "coming right up" >hands her coffee >she then reaches into her mouth and pulls out a rope of single dollar bills tied together >cashier is visibly disgusted >"its on the house" >she honks 3 times and comes over to my table >sits down and the loudest f------ whoopie cushion known to man erupts under her >have a really hard time f------ talking to her (she speaks in honks only) >somehow get her to come back to my place >"its just down the street, we can walk there" >she shakes her head and honks at me >takes me to her car thats the size of a f------ tricycle >ohno.png >get in it >its really spacious on the inside >drive back to my place >she f------ juggles my balls like a goddess where the f--- is your clown gf anon?
File: 1603420274503s.jpg (3 KB, 125x119) O Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)22:51:16 No.856407726 ► >be me >match with a gril on tinder >meet up at a local coffee place >waiting for her to show up >f------ 10 foot long shoe enters through the door >what.png >its her, the bitch I matched with is in full f------ clown costume >red nose, white make-up, and the f------ shoes >she walks up to me and squirts me in the face with a flower on her dress >classic >she walks up the counter and honks three times >person behind the counter nods and says "coming right up" >hands her coffee >she then reaches into her mouth and pulls out a rope of single dollar bills tied together >cashier is visibly disgusted >"its on the house" >she honks 3 times and comes over to my table >sits down and the loudest f------ whoopie cushion known to man erupts under her >have a really hard time f------ talking to her (she speaks in honks only) >somehow get her to come back to my place >"its just down the street, we can walk there" >she shakes her head and honks at me >takes me to her car thats the size of a f------ tricycle >ohno.png >get in it >its really spacious on the inside >drive back to my place >she f------ juggles my balls like a goddess where the f--- is your clown gf anon?

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/x/anon summoned a succubus | /r/Greentext

>finally summon a succubus >i'm ready for her to suck my soul out of me through my pp >she says let's just be friends
>finally summon a succubus >i'm ready for her to suck my soul out of me through my pp >she says let's just be friends

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Anon gets co worker in trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)19:54:50 No.855127928 > Working at IT department in bank > Company currently joined the woke-train and now we get all kinds of workshops on why straight white men are the devil > Roll eyes - none of the Directors/VPs are of color... 83 KB JPG > People start to insert moronic 'she/her' and 'his/him' to their signatures > Getting so annoyed by this, I insert 'they/them' in my signature > One of my colleagues (and one of the drivers behind this whole moronification of signatures) asks me about my signature > I reply "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about these things at work - please just respects my pronouns" > This person goes mad, accusing me of mocking the pronouns > I think "F--- it. No way for her to prove it", and step to HR to complain > Colleague is being asked to stop her questioning (and gets her first official warning), but still brings it up two more times > I go to HR again, she gets her second official warning > I'm enjoying that this moronic s--- is now biting the proponents in their ass > Again, she's alluding to my pronouns not being genuine during a meeting >I make a big scene of it (lulz), and HR gets involved again > Last Friday was her last day.
: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)19:54:50 No.855127928 > Working at IT department in bank > Company currently joined the woke-train and now we get all kinds of workshops on why straight white men are the devil > Roll eyes - none of the Directors/VPs are of color... 83 KB JPG > People start to insert moronic 'she/her' and 'his/him' to their signatures > Getting so annoyed by this, I insert 'they/them' in my signature > One of my colleagues (and one of the drivers behind this whole moronification of signatures) asks me about my signature > I reply "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about these things at work - please just respects my pronouns" > This person goes mad, accusing me of mocking the pronouns > I think "F--- it. No way for her to prove it", and step to HR to complain > Colleague is being asked to stop her questioning (and gets her first official warning), but still brings it up two more times > I go to HR again, she gets her second official warning > I'm enjoying that this moronic s--- is now biting the proponents in their ass > Again, she's alluding to my pronouns not being genuine during a meeting >I make a big scene of it (lulz), and HR gets involved again > Last Friday was her last day.

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Anon likes traps | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Be 19yrs >Still live with parents >Find out what traps are > Beat my meat everyday to traps > Dad walks in on me mid-fap with my monitor showing a dudes nuts slapping another dudes while he's 55 KB JPG thrusting into his ass >Dad looks at my monitor for like 10 whole seconds before leaving >Dont speak to him for 2 weeks Does my dad hate me now?
>Be me >Be 19yrs >Still live with parents >Find out what traps are > Beat my meat everyday to traps > Dad walks in on me mid-fap with my monitor showing a dudes nuts slapping another dudes while he's 55 KB JPG thrusting into his ass >Dad looks at my monitor for like 10 whole seconds before leaving >Dont speak to him for 2 weeks Does my dad hate me now?

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r/greentext | /r/Greentext

>heard No Man's Sky is finally good. >bought copy and start up game >found random generated planet to NO MAN'S SKY land >suddenly ship crash lands >must be part of game 16 KB JPG >everything black >character finally opens eyes >suddenly riding behind cart >"Hey, you. You're finally awake." >gdi todd howard.
>heard No Man's Sky is finally good. >bought copy and start up game >found random generated planet to NO MAN'S SKY land >suddenly ship crash lands >must be part of game 16 KB JPG >everything black >character finally opens eyes >suddenly riding behind cart >"Hey, you. You're finally awake." >gdi todd howard.

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Anon is an incel... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ARa/GrUI Wife School 06/08/21(Tue)08:20:56 No.325085930 >fathers send their daughters to wife school >state or privately funded >women learn all the skills necessary to be a good wife >cooking >cleaning 120 KB JPG >housemaking >minimal math for grocery shopping and measurements >child rearing >sex classes (when old enough) >fashion & modesty >animal caretaking >gardening >emotional support >you are a low to middle status man >walk in to wife school >women are graded from E up through A, and then S >grades factored by technical skill, age, attractiveness, personality >graded women are separated by floor, each floor higher in the building a higher grade woman >step out of the elevator on your chosen floor >staff blows a whistle, girls called to assemblyroom >you walk in >topless girls age 16-22 lined up for you to choose >each has a name tag with father's contact information >choose girl according to her grade and your status >contact her father and make arrangements >walk out with well trained, traditional wife Posted in r/IncelTear O reddit
: Anonymous (ID: ARa/GrUI Wife School 06/08/21(Tue)08:20:56 No.325085930 >fathers send their daughters to wife school >state or privately funded >women learn all the skills necessary to be a good wife >cooking >cleaning 120 KB JPG >housemaking >minimal math for grocery shopping and measurements >child rearing >sex classes (when old enough) >fashion & modesty >animal caretaking >gardening >emotional support >you are a low to middle status man >walk in to wife school >women are graded from E up through A, and then S >grades factored by technical skill, age, attractiveness, personality >graded women are separated by floor, each floor higher in the building a higher grade woman >step out of the elevator on your chosen floor >staff blows a whistle, girls called to assemblyroom >you walk in >topless girls age 16-22 lined up for you to choose >each has a name tag with father's contact information >choose girl according to her grade and your status >contact her father and make arrangements >walk out with well trained, traditional wife Posted in r/IncelTear O reddit

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Anon smells like the rainbow | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:04:26 No.64053742 >wake up >take a few shots of tequila >take a s---, browse the funnies >catch whiff of armpit >smells strongly of Crayola crayons 53 KB JPG Is it time to take a shower, brobots?
: Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:04:26 No.64053742 >wake up >take a few shots of tequila >take a s---, browse the funnies >catch whiff of armpit >smells strongly of Crayola crayons 53 KB JPG Is it time to take a shower, brobots?

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Christmas. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 789378827 48 min. ago How was your christmas? >Bе Me >Mom and Dad both love me because l'm an only child >Were barely above the poverty line >Christmas comes >Mom buys me brand new airpods >150$ >Thank her and nearly cry >I knew they couldn't afford this >Take them back to the store they bought them 4.9 kB PNG at for a full cash refund >Take the cash and sneak into my parents room >Grab my dads wallet with the cash in hand >Mom walks in >She sees >Starts yelling at me >l begin to cry >Tell her its the money from the airpods >Tell her that I felt guilty knowing that these cost so much >Tell her I was putting the money into the wallet >We both cry for about an hour
Anonymous | 789378827 48 min. ago How was your christmas? >Bе Me >Mom and Dad both love me because l'm an only child >Were barely above the poverty line >Christmas comes >Mom buys me brand new airpods >150$ >Thank her and nearly cry >I knew they couldn't afford this >Take them back to the store they bought them 4.9 kB PNG at for a full cash refund >Take the cash and sneak into my parents room >Grab my dads wallet with the cash in hand >Mom walks in >She sees >Starts yelling at me >l begin to cry >Tell her its the money from the airpods >Tell her that I felt guilty knowing that these cost so much >Tell her I was putting the money into the wallet >We both cry for about an hour

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Anon Loves Moles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like l'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention
: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like l'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention

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Anon is Indian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)17:54:39 No.81985820 File: 1591797065283.png (210 KB, 525x400) >mam i am calling to u to update too windos 11 pls type credit card
Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)17:54:39 No.81985820 File: 1591797065283.png (210 KB, 525x400) >mam i am calling to u to update too windos 11 pls type credit card

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Anon is horny and retarded. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/09/18(Sun)10:22:22 No.49754647 >Be me, 13 yo >Just discovered fapping >Drive to supermarket with dad >Wait in car >suddenlyhorny.dll >Can't wait til home, gotta go now >Pull down pants, start fappinf 8 KB JPG furiously >almostcumming.wav >Realize people spotted me >S--- s--- s--- >They watch in horror as I blow my load in my dads car >People visibly disgusted >Quickly pull up pants, hope they'll just go and forget about it >Dad comes out of store, walks to car >People who watched see he's going towards our car >See people approach my dad >mylifeisover.mp3 >They tell him everything >Can see his disappointment through the windshield >Sllent car ride home Is this why I was put in tard class? 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 12/09/18(Sun)10:22:22 No.49754647 >Be me, 13 yo >Just discovered fapping >Drive to supermarket with dad >Wait in car >suddenlyhorny.dll >Can't wait til home, gotta go now >Pull down pants, start fappinf 8 KB JPG furiously >almostcumming.wav >Realize people spotted me >S--- s--- s--- >They watch in horror as I blow my load in my dads car >People visibly disgusted >Quickly pull up pants, hope they'll just go and forget about it >Dad comes out of store, walks to car >People who watched see he's going towards our car >See people approach my dad >mylifeisover.mp3 >They tell him everything >Can see his disappointment through the windshield >Sllent car ride home Is this why I was put in tard class? 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon lives in a soci- RPG game | /r/Greentext

>Mfw I realize life is literally like an RPG. >People treat you differently depending on your race/class. >Each race has advantages and disadvantages. >Get XP by learning things through 46 KB JPG books. >lf you commit a crime in a town or city you will spend time in jail/prison. >Tfw only one save.
>Mfw I realize life is literally like an RPG. >People treat you differently depending on your race/class. >Each race has advantages and disadvantages. >Get XP by learning things through 46 KB JPG books. >lf you commit a crime in a town or city you will spend time in jail/prison. >Tfw only one save.

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Anon’s date has a bigger one | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)16:33:43 No.851289239 > be netflix and chilling with girl > midway through watching cars > "anon, where is the bathroom?" > "first door on your right" > she comes back laughing her ass off 78 KB JPG > "anon why the f--- do you have fred flintstone vitamins and tylenol for children" > "uhh i have trouble swalling pills so i prefer the gummies and chewables" > "i might be able to help with that" > she proceeds to pull down her pants > d--- bigger than mine > mfw
| Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)16:33:43 No.851289239 > be netflix and chilling with girl > midway through watching cars > "anon, where is the bathroom?" > "first door on your right" > she comes back laughing her ass off 78 KB JPG > "anon why the f--- do you have fred flintstone vitamins and tylenol for children" > "uhh i have trouble swalling pills so i prefer the gummies and chewables" > "i might be able to help with that" > she proceeds to pull down her pants > d--- bigger than mine > mfw

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Tfw no Bloody Mary gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)16:18:23 No.64050871 >Said bloody mary in the bathroom to get a demon gf >it didn't work even ghost dont want me. 5 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)16:31:20 No.64050972 >>64050871 (OP) # You have to say it in the presence of a Polynesian for it to work, around midnight : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)17:19:11 No.64051313 I guess she ghosted you.
: Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)16:18:23 No.64050871 >Said bloody mary in the bathroom to get a demon gf >it didn't work even ghost dont want me. 5 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)16:31:20 No.64050972 >>64050871 (OP) # You have to say it in the presence of a Polynesian for it to work, around midnight : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)17:19:11 No.64051313 I guess she ghosted you.

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