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Anons has been doomed since birth | /r/Greentext

File: images.jpg (40 KB, 548x560) O Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)18:53:49 No.856082984 [Reply] > >be me >one shot at life >be named Gilbert
File: images.jpg (40 KB, 548x560) O Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)18:53:49 No.856082984 [Reply] > >be me >one shot at life >be named Gilbert

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Anon is straight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)13:57:27 No.44135120 >straight boy >about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at >we have to move a bunch 229 KB PNG of boxes >l pick one up, trip and fall >"don't be such a silly little boy" >instant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean 34 Replies / 5 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)13:57:27 No.44135120 >straight boy >about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at >we have to move a bunch 229 KB PNG of boxes >l pick one up, trip and fall >"don't be such a silly little boy" >instant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean 34 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon gets a blowjob | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)21:37:27 No.20886720 >kiss girl after she's been giving me head >taste my d--- from her spit >get turned on W--, am I part of the LGBT now? | 246 KB PNG bich ass !!76tb4JwDFLO 06/04/21(Fri)21:38:19 No.20886724 >>20886720 (OP) # yeah, see you at pride
: Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)21:37:27 No.20886720 >kiss girl after she's been giving me head >taste my d--- from her spit >get turned on W--, am I part of the LGBT now? | 246 KB PNG bich ass !!76tb4JwDFLO 06/04/21(Fri)21:38:19 No.20886724 >>20886720 (OP) # yeah, see you at pride

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can't make this stuff up | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)03:09:13 No.856090988 >gf leaves you after she starts studying Lutheran theology to become a pastor >apparently it's a dealbreaker that you're an atheist >start reading the Qu'ran to spite her >actually turns out to be a genuinely interesting and engaging read >puts you in touch with feelings you didn't 131 KB JPG even know you had inshallah you dickweeds, i think i finallly found peace in the dunya
E Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)03:09:13 No.856090988 >gf leaves you after she starts studying Lutheran theology to become a pastor >apparently it's a dealbreaker that you're an atheist >start reading the Qu'ran to spite her >actually turns out to be a genuinely interesting and engaging read >puts you in touch with feelings you didn't 131 KB JPG even know you had inshallah you dickweeds, i think i finallly found peace in the dunya

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Anon's classmate cheated the game | /r/Greentext


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Anon becomes american | /r/Greentext

Stopped getting bullied stories >be me >constantly picked on because of my size >kids kick me and taunt me 25 KB JPG and s--- >one day in class chad tells me to kill myself >"oh I guarentee im gonna kill myself pretty soon I mostly just wonder how many of you I'll take with me" >class goes silent >mfw never got bullied again
Stopped getting bullied stories >be me >constantly picked on because of my size >kids kick me and taunt me 25 KB JPG and s--- >one day in class chad tells me to kill myself >"oh I guarentee im gonna kill myself pretty soon I mostly just wonder how many of you I'll take with me" >class goes silent >mfw never got bullied again

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Anon has anal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/21/19(Mon)12:10:48 No.790580713 >be me >24yo femanon >meet guy on tinder >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg >he comes over to my place >f---- me up the ass >feel my tummy rumble 334 KB PNG >fuckfuckfuck >he pulls out and with his d--- comes a stream of diarrhea >i can't stop s------- on him >he vomits on my back >he runs into the shower to wash himself off >i lie there covered in vomit and s--- and begin crying
: Anonymous 01/21/19(Mon)12:10:48 No.790580713 >be me >24yo femanon >meet guy on tinder >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg >he comes over to my place >f---- me up the ass >feel my tummy rumble 334 KB PNG >fuckfuckfuck >he pulls out and with his d--- comes a stream of diarrhea >i can't stop s------- on him >he vomits on my back >he runs into the shower to wash himself off >i lie there covered in vomit and s--- and begin crying

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Anon entertains his gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)07:50:29 No.63989354 >gf said that she would be fine if I slept with a guy >said that it would turn her on if I was the bottom >set up a date with a guy on grindr, it's happening tonight >gf wants text updates 51 KB JPG and that's how I cuck my gf
: Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)07:50:29 No.63989354 >gf said that she would be fine if I slept with a guy >said that it would turn her on if I was the bottom >set up a date with a guy on grindr, it's happening tonight >gf wants text updates 51 KB JPG and that's how I cuck my gf

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Anon experiences Psychosis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)20:56:55 No.856069076 >be me like two days ago > go to hardware store to look at toilets > see a nice toilet, but I do not want it because I have a toilet at home >Think to myself that if I wanted to I could poop and pee a lot into this 188 KB PNG toilet, but I don't have to >woman next to me frowns and tells me I'm disgusting before walking away Did I just find a mind reader? This is not the first time this happened
: Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)20:56:55 No.856069076 >be me like two days ago > go to hardware store to look at toilets > see a nice toilet, but I do not want it because I have a toilet at home >Think to myself that if I wanted to I could poop and pee a lot into this 188 KB PNG toilet, but I don't have to >woman next to me frowns and tells me I'm disgusting before walking away Did I just find a mind reader? This is not the first time this happened

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Anon goes on Bumble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)10:16:12 No.24308166 >go on date with guy from bumble >he's cute and handsome >2nd meetup, at my place >we're on my bed talking >I tell him that before we have sex, I need to ask if he does any of the following: listen to joe rogan, own any amount of 549 KB PNG cryptocurrency, considers himself a 'gym rat' >he says yes to all three >l tell him he has no empathy and I don't know if I can f--- him >he just stares at me then says 'you don't have a personality', and leaves >get mad and call him a douchebag >he already left my apartment >text him and call him immature >'message not delivered' >this a------ f------ blocked me why are men like this : Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)10:18:24 No.24308184 >>24308229 # : Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)10:19:23 No.24308188 >>24308166 (OP) # You sound fat >>24308229 #
: Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)10:16:12 No.24308166 >go on date with guy from bumble >he's cute and handsome >2nd meetup, at my place >we're on my bed talking >I tell him that before we have sex, I need to ask if he does any of the following: listen to joe rogan, own any amount of 549 KB PNG cryptocurrency, considers himself a 'gym rat' >he says yes to all three >l tell him he has no empathy and I don't know if I can f--- him >he just stares at me then says 'you don't have a personality', and leaves >get mad and call him a douchebag >he already left my apartment >text him and call him immature >'message not delivered' >this a------ f------ blocked me why are men like this : Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)10:18:24 No.24308184 >>24308229 # : Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)10:19:23 No.24308188 >>24308166 (OP) # You sound fat >>24308229 #

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Anon motivates a Fatty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/20(Mon)05:21:17 No.54008561 reach for the top >never talk to anyone at the gym >today, doing my cardio routine >fatty on the treadmill next to mine >he's huffing and puffing from walking fast, but he's actually doing something >give him a fistbump 931 KB GIF >later in the locker room >he enters the shower as I get out of the sauna, meaning he did a 1h+ workout >mutter "good job" at him >he smiles and says thanks Remember to motivate the fatties putting in actual work at your gym.
: Anonymous 01/13/20(Mon)05:21:17 No.54008561 reach for the top >never talk to anyone at the gym >today, doing my cardio routine >fatty on the treadmill next to mine >he's huffing and puffing from walking fast, but he's actually doing something >give him a fistbump 931 KB GIF >later in the locker room >he enters the shower as I get out of the sauna, meaning he did a 1h+ workout >mutter "good job" at him >he smiles and says thanks Remember to motivate the fatties putting in actual work at your gym.

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Justice is served | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)23:09:28 No.866076521 >break up with gf cause she is shoot crazy >says l'll regret if I dont take her back >a week later she shows up in court with bruises >claims I assaulted her >have alibi and evidence it couldn't be me so they can't charge me with s--- >she eventually admits she lied >instead of getting arrested she is forced into some meme therapy that lasts a few weeks >bitch tried to ruin my life and can walk away >few weeks later show up at her place and beat her up >have an alibi I wasn't in town >court immediately assumes she is bullshitting again and she was forced into another six weeks of therapy while I I walked away justice is served, bitch
Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)23:09:28 No.866076521 >break up with gf cause she is shoot crazy >says l'll regret if I dont take her back >a week later she shows up in court with bruises >claims I assaulted her >have alibi and evidence it couldn't be me so they can't charge me with s--- >she eventually admits she lied >instead of getting arrested she is forced into some meme therapy that lasts a few weeks >bitch tried to ruin my life and can walk away >few weeks later show up at her place and beat her up >have an alibi I wasn't in town >court immediately assumes she is bullshitting again and she was forced into another six weeks of therapy while I I walked away justice is served, bitch

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Anon is cringe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/17(Tue)06:13:17 No.37835076 ITT: Post lyrics that hit you hard. >l've spent days trying to decide >Which knives I should use 62 KB JPG to lobotomize >The rotting tumors inside my brain >They're always whispering, "You're not okay." : Anonymous 06/20/17(Tue)06:14:27 No.37835096 >>37835076 (OP) # what an emo little f----- you are
: Anonymous 06/20/17(Tue)06:13:17 No.37835076 ITT: Post lyrics that hit you hard. >l've spent days trying to decide >Which knives I should use 62 KB JPG to lobotomize >The rotting tumors inside my brain >They're always whispering, "You're not okay." : Anonymous 06/20/17(Tue)06:14:27 No.37835096 >>37835076 (OP) # what an emo little f----- you are

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Lonely teardrops | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)03:27:43 No.63990760 >go to see wrath of man at the movie theatre >on the way out a kid from a group throws something at me (still not sure what it was but I felt it make a clunk on the back of my head) >find a secluded alley and start crying >people were pointing and laughing at me 74 KB JPG as they walked past the alley entrance I feel like l'm incapable of 'just going out'. There's always something that goes wrong or some f------- who makes fun of me. Tell me I'm not the only one? : Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)03:29:41 No.63990777 >Being this much of a f----- and letting a little kid bully you Honestly: You deserve it >>63990793 #
: Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)03:27:43 No.63990760 >go to see wrath of man at the movie theatre >on the way out a kid from a group throws something at me (still not sure what it was but I felt it make a clunk on the back of my head) >find a secluded alley and start crying >people were pointing and laughing at me 74 KB JPG as they walked past the alley entrance I feel like l'm incapable of 'just going out'. There's always something that goes wrong or some f------- who makes fun of me. Tell me I'm not the only one? : Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)03:29:41 No.63990777 >Being this much of a f----- and letting a little kid bully you Honestly: You deserve it >>63990793 #

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Anon joins Murican server | /r/Greentext

No.896253322 minutes ago Canada >playing an FPS >join an American server >hear gunfire around me, duck for cover >don't see any enemies around >realize one of my teammates left his microphone on
No.896253322 minutes ago Canada >playing an FPS >join an American server >hear gunfire around me, duck for cover >don't see any enemies around >realize one of my teammates left his microphone on

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Anon makes a connection | /r/Greentext

hannah @hanalyzed The dating pool for young women is literally -P--- addicts - "Sensitive" guys you have to perform | constant emotional labour for - Narcissistic (if not sociopathic) gym bros - Emotionally distant manipulators - Performative "woke" men who still treat women like s--- O Anonymous 07/22/20(Wed)23:38:22 No.96910896 ( So basically > Guys who post 4chan > Guys who post on reddit > Guys who post on instagram > Guys who post on linkedin > Guys who post on twitter
hannah @hanalyzed The dating pool for young women is literally -P--- addicts - "Sensitive" guys you have to perform | constant emotional labour for - Narcissistic (if not sociopathic) gym bros - Emotionally distant manipulators - Performative "woke" men who still treat women like s--- O Anonymous 07/22/20(Wed)23:38:22 No.96910896 ( So basically > Guys who post 4chan > Guys who post on reddit > Guys who post on instagram > Guys who post on linkedin > Guys who post on twitter

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Anon makes a friend... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/19(Tue)20:34:50 No.78878264 Story time >be me 16 at the time >high school >mates and | sneak away every lunch or free period and smoke weed 20 KB JPG >420.jpeg >do this all year >have retard kid in class, doug >dunno how but doug manages to follow us one lunch and watches us smoking weed >we see doug, didn't need him blabbing about it >we must befriend the tard >call doug over, show him how to light up >doug gets stoned >doug loves it, totally chill too >tard is cool keeping it secret >one day, doug lights up with us >"wanna hear why I like smoking anon?" >"I become a baked potato" >good on ya dougie, f------ champion.
: Anonymous 01/01/19(Tue)20:34:50 No.78878264 Story time >be me 16 at the time >high school >mates and | sneak away every lunch or free period and smoke weed 20 KB JPG >420.jpeg >do this all year >have retard kid in class, doug >dunno how but doug manages to follow us one lunch and watches us smoking weed >we see doug, didn't need him blabbing about it >we must befriend the tard >call doug over, show him how to light up >doug gets stoned >doug loves it, totally chill too >tard is cool keeping it secret >one day, doug lights up with us >"wanna hear why I like smoking anon?" >"I become a baked potato" >good on ya dougie, f------ champion.

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Anon is crazy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)08:09:21 No.784110934 > walk down street > girl walking her dog > dog starts walking towards me > she pulls the dog away > "don't bother him" LET ME PET YOUR F------ 49 KB JPG DOG
: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)08:09:21 No.784110934 > walk down street > girl walking her dog > dog starts walking towards me > she pulls the dog away > "don't bother him" LET ME PET YOUR F------ 49 KB JPG DOG

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She'll probably outlive anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)23:44:13 No.3815539 >"king of the jungle" >doesn't actually live in a jungle ??? 253 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)08:40:45 No.3816028 >>3815539 (OP) # >Queen of Australia >Doesn't actually live in Australia 179 KB JPG >>3818624 # >>3818813 #
: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)23:44:13 No.3815539 >"king of the jungle" >doesn't actually live in a jungle ??? 253 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)08:40:45 No.3816028 >>3815539 (OP) # >Queen of Australia >Doesn't actually live in Australia 179 KB JPG >>3818624 # >>3818813 #

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Anon likes Gura | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)07:40:24 No.275169 File: 48934538486.jpg (120 KB, 400x226) >>277085 Rayvond1X 10,00 $US RIX Hey @Gawr Gura Ch. hololive-EN how are U doing today, Just drop a10Bits for U. I've 2 go cuz My Military Camp is under Attack, My Commanding officer has just Called Me so yeah! Witch Me luck... mEIwas in memumary It mv >be soldier >be in military camp >ennemy airstrike is coming in >panic >??? >send ten dollars to a virtual loli
O Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)07:40:24 No.275169 File: 48934538486.jpg (120 KB, 400x226) >>277085 Rayvond1X 10,00 $US RIX Hey @Gawr Gura Ch. hololive-EN how are U doing today, Just drop a10Bits for U. I've 2 go cuz My Military Camp is under Attack, My Commanding officer has just Called Me so yeah! Witch Me luck... mEIwas in memumary It mv >be soldier >be in military camp >ennemy airstrike is coming in >panic >??? >send ten dollars to a virtual loli

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