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Anon’s sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)16:02:23 No.63978240 >lesbian older sister used to have sex with me >I basically laid there while she fingered me or ate me out but it was insane >lower half would have a mind of 30 KB JPG its own and just contract and pulsate the whole time >desperately want to return to that >miss her holding me every day >doesn't want to do it and says that her doing that to me was wrong >says I need to figure myself out >last night tried to convince me that I wasn't ever into girls and that she just hurt me Why can't she just do it
: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)16:02:23 No.63978240 >lesbian older sister used to have sex with me >I basically laid there while she fingered me or ate me out but it was insane >lower half would have a mind of 30 KB JPG its own and just contract and pulsate the whole time >desperately want to return to that >miss her holding me every day >doesn't want to do it and says that her doing that to me was wrong >says I need to figure myself out >last night tried to convince me that I wasn't ever into girls and that she just hurt me Why can't she just do it

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Anon takes a shower | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 787170054 36 min. ago •.. >be me 15 >Parents don't give a f--- about me, I have nothing to do, soI spend most of my time bumming around with other loser friends >One day at skate park, piss off some older dudes, my friends bail on me and I get jumped >They take my wallet and snap my board >l'm walking home head hung low, ripped shirt broken board 83.3 kB JPG >Friends qt older sister is driving by and sees me >Pulls over >"OMG anon what happened" Tell her, she invited me over to get cleaned up >We get there, she whipes blood off my face, starts telling me how mad she is that those assholes did what they did to me >Starts to massage me >Boner activated >Hey anon why dont you take a shower and clean up your scrapes >l agree, she brings me to the bathroom, starts undressing me, her hand brushes on my boner >Giggles, "ooh anon, a little excited are we?" >Tells me to get in the shower, tells me she'll be right back >lm washing off, see the door start to crack open >See eye peering in at me >Feeling bold, "why dont you come join me you little slut" >Voice booms "don't mind if I do!" >Her dad runs in and f---- the s--- out of my ass and then leaves me broken on the shower floor
Anonymous | 787170054 36 min. ago •.. >be me 15 >Parents don't give a f--- about me, I have nothing to do, soI spend most of my time bumming around with other loser friends >One day at skate park, piss off some older dudes, my friends bail on me and I get jumped >They take my wallet and snap my board >l'm walking home head hung low, ripped shirt broken board 83.3 kB JPG >Friends qt older sister is driving by and sees me >Pulls over >"OMG anon what happened" Tell her, she invited me over to get cleaned up >We get there, she whipes blood off my face, starts telling me how mad she is that those assholes did what they did to me >Starts to massage me >Boner activated >Hey anon why dont you take a shower and clean up your scrapes >l agree, she brings me to the bathroom, starts undressing me, her hand brushes on my boner >Giggles, "ooh anon, a little excited are we?" >Tells me to get in the shower, tells me she'll be right back >lm washing off, see the door start to crack open >See eye peering in at me >Feeling bold, "why dont you come join me you little slut" >Voice booms "don't mind if I do!" >Her dad runs in and f---- the s--- out of my ass and then leaves me broken on the shower floor

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Anon takes an IQ test. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/26/17(Sun)18:21:51 No.41384927 >just founded out my iq is 70 8 KB PNG : Anonymous 11/26/17(Sun)18:27:31 No.41385046 >>41384927 (OP)# Online IQ test, or actual test? >>41385125 # : Anonymous 11/26/17(Sun)18:31:21 No.41385125 >>41385046 # real iq test by a psychlilatrist 511 KB GIF >>41385192 #
: Anonymous 11/26/17(Sun)18:21:51 No.41384927 >just founded out my iq is 70 8 KB PNG : Anonymous 11/26/17(Sun)18:27:31 No.41385046 >>41384927 (OP)# Online IQ test, or actual test? >>41385125 # : Anonymous 11/26/17(Sun)18:31:21 No.41385125 >>41385046 # real iq test by a psychlilatrist 511 KB GIF >>41385192 #

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Anon Browses 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What the f--- 4chan 11/03/20(Tue)14:38:40 No.60750539 >be me >traditionally look at r/greentexts every night >decide to browse 4chan one day >only find rabbit p--- >f------ hate it here 16 KB JPG
: Anonymous What the f--- 4chan 11/03/20(Tue)14:38:40 No.60750539 >be me >traditionally look at r/greentexts every night >decide to browse 4chan one day >only find rabbit p--- >f------ hate it here 16 KB JPG

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Anon doesn't floss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)00:35:13 No.28767795 >Never flossed growing up >Would literally just brush my teeth for 2 minutes once every morning and that was it, no floss or anything else >2 years ago >Started seeing and hearing s---, shadow people, voices telling me to do things, etc >Thought about seeing a doctor but couldn't afford it, You have Problems 43 KB JPG decided I was just stressed from school and stuff >Woke up one day with a major headache and pure rage enveloping every part of my body >Parents would ask if I was okay, didn't talk to them because I was convinced they were the ones causing my problems >Parents tried to talk to me one day a week later demanding to know why I was so upset now and said I need to see a doctor >Walk to the kitchen and grab a knife, started swinging it around trying to kill my family >Dad managed to subdue me and put me in a headlock until I passed out >Woke up a few seconds later, parents nowhere to be seen. Started going ballistic and was banging on the doors and stuff >Parents called 911, police and ambulance showed up >Was taken to the hospital and sedated, remember waking up in the hospital a day later with cotton in my mouth >Doctor tells me I had an undiagnosed tooth infection that had started to spread to my brain and was causing my episodes, but they managed to remove it and clean it up >Never had any more schizo moments after that >Ended up getting the other 3 teeth removed a while later >Make sure to floss and brush twice a day now Are you brushing your teeth, anons? That could be why you're seeing things no one else is.
: Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)00:35:13 No.28767795 >Never flossed growing up >Would literally just brush my teeth for 2 minutes once every morning and that was it, no floss or anything else >2 years ago >Started seeing and hearing s---, shadow people, voices telling me to do things, etc >Thought about seeing a doctor but couldn't afford it, You have Problems 43 KB JPG decided I was just stressed from school and stuff >Woke up one day with a major headache and pure rage enveloping every part of my body >Parents would ask if I was okay, didn't talk to them because I was convinced they were the ones causing my problems >Parents tried to talk to me one day a week later demanding to know why I was so upset now and said I need to see a doctor >Walk to the kitchen and grab a knife, started swinging it around trying to kill my family >Dad managed to subdue me and put me in a headlock until I passed out >Woke up a few seconds later, parents nowhere to be seen. Started going ballistic and was banging on the doors and stuff >Parents called 911, police and ambulance showed up >Was taken to the hospital and sedated, remember waking up in the hospital a day later with cotton in my mouth >Doctor tells me I had an undiagnosed tooth infection that had started to spread to my brain and was causing my episodes, but they managed to remove it and clean it up >Never had any more schizo moments after that >Ended up getting the other 3 teeth removed a while later >Make sure to floss and brush twice a day now Are you brushing your teeth, anons? That could be why you're seeing things no one else is.

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We do a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)16:52:46 No.63881475 > be me > go on omegle because i have no friends > start political arguments with рeople 81 KB PNG > 5 minutes in >i disconnect when they are half way through typing a response Тop kek : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)16:55:10 No.63881497 >>63881475 (OP) # Extremely based Keep it up OP 48 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)16:52:46 No.63881475 > be me > go on omegle because i have no friends > start political arguments with рeople 81 KB PNG > 5 minutes in >i disconnect when they are half way through typing a response Тop kek : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)16:55:10 No.63881497 >>63881475 (OP) # Extremely based Keep it up OP 48 KB JPG

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Anon does not like Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/18(Fri)01:14:01 No.774184761 >be me >not a reddit user >love 4chan greentext, post almost everyday >go to check reddit greentext for s---- and giggles >I recognize one of them 7 KB JPG >it's a greentext I posted not 30 minutes earlier on 4chan >mfw he got 1k upvotes from my content >mfw reddit users steal my greentexts and there's nothing I can do about it >mfw this one is gonna get stolen too
: Anonymous 07/13/18(Fri)01:14:01 No.774184761 >be me >not a reddit user >love 4chan greentext, post almost everyday >go to check reddit greentext for s---- and giggles >I recognize one of them 7 KB JPG >it's a greentext I posted not 30 minutes earlier on 4chan >mfw he got 1k upvotes from my content >mfw reddit users steal my greentexts and there's nothing I can do about it >mfw this one is gonna get stolen too

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anon kills a wasp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)18:29:20 No.63979846 >walk into kitchen to get some coffee >greeted big ass wasp sitting on my coffee machine and buzzing around it >s--- sits on the part of the coffee maker where hot water comes out of 179 KB JPG >press the button to activate it and burn its ass >bitch is p----- now and is flying around the room >lands on a drawer and just starts staring at me while its stinger starts pulsating >grab my phone and put The Good The Bad And The Ugly's theme as i have a staring contest with this wasp >full on mexican stall, if i move it's gonna fly and sting me but if it moves i grab my slipper and kill it >staring at each other for a solid 2 minutes now with the song playing, both ready to draw our weapons >song hits climax and with a swift blow i kill the wasp and its body falls down on the floor unceremoniously >drop my slipper on the unmoving body and slip my foot into it >make some coffee, walk out of kitchen and as i walk back to my room to play Isaac Afterebirth+ the only words that come out of my mouth are "I won."
: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)18:29:20 No.63979846 >walk into kitchen to get some coffee >greeted big ass wasp sitting on my coffee machine and buzzing around it >s--- sits on the part of the coffee maker where hot water comes out of 179 KB JPG >press the button to activate it and burn its ass >bitch is p----- now and is flying around the room >lands on a drawer and just starts staring at me while its stinger starts pulsating >grab my phone and put The Good The Bad And The Ugly's theme as i have a staring contest with this wasp >full on mexican stall, if i move it's gonna fly and sting me but if it moves i grab my slipper and kill it >staring at each other for a solid 2 minutes now with the song playing, both ready to draw our weapons >song hits climax and with a swift blow i kill the wasp and its body falls down on the floor unceremoniously >drop my slipper on the unmoving body and slip my foot into it >make some coffee, walk out of kitchen and as i walk back to my room to play Isaac Afterebirth+ the only words that come out of my mouth are "I won."

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Anon makes peace | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21 (Thu)21:57:34 No.63980516 >13 years ago >Pretty great at football >Applied to multiple colleges, never received a reply >Didn't care, started working for my dad >Flash forward 3 years >Find a letter of acceptance from Ohio State 30 KB JPG >Confront parents >Mom had no idea, Dad admits he hid it because he didn't want me to live that far, his business was failing and he needed me, all the usual BS. >Punched the s--- out of him and moved to Washington. >Never came back, talk to mom and brother once a month. >Now married with a kid, he's seen his grandparents just twice. >Flash forward to a week ago. >Mom calls me, says Dad's dying >Swallow my ego and go visit. >Dad's half the size he used to be, doctors are saying he has a few months. >When I see him, I just forgot everything, all the anger just vanished. >Talk about old times >Regret doing this to him, at least we can spend the last few days of his life together. Don't let your rage consume you anons, it f---- you and everyone you love up.
: Anonymous 06/03/21 (Thu)21:57:34 No.63980516 >13 years ago >Pretty great at football >Applied to multiple colleges, never received a reply >Didn't care, started working for my dad >Flash forward 3 years >Find a letter of acceptance from Ohio State 30 KB JPG >Confront parents >Mom had no idea, Dad admits he hid it because he didn't want me to live that far, his business was failing and he needed me, all the usual BS. >Punched the s--- out of him and moved to Washington. >Never came back, talk to mom and brother once a month. >Now married with a kid, he's seen his grandparents just twice. >Flash forward to a week ago. >Mom calls me, says Dad's dying >Swallow my ego and go visit. >Dad's half the size he used to be, doctors are saying he has a few months. >When I see him, I just forgot everything, all the anger just vanished. >Talk about old times >Regret doing this to him, at least we can spend the last few days of his life together. Don't let your rage consume you anons, it f---- you and everyone you love up.

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Anon talks evolution | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)00:09:19 No.3740366 1616800615574_monke_prophet.jpg 126 KB JPG >teach two of these f------ a language >give them an incentive to pass it down to their kids >their kids learn the language >kids of the kids learn the language >they figure out how to use tools >figure out fire >humans 2.0 : Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)01:09:38 No.3740427 Otters aren't that smart. >>3740434 #
: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)00:09:19 No.3740366 1616800615574_monke_prophet.jpg 126 KB JPG >teach two of these f------ a language >give them an incentive to pass it down to their kids >their kids learn the language >kids of the kids learn the language >they figure out how to use tools >figure out fire >humans 2.0 : Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)01:09:38 No.3740427 Otters aren't that smart. >>3740434 #

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Anon gets a bonsai tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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6 inch log thw | /r/Greentext

File: monkas.png (211 KB, 1200x675) Anonymous 12/16/18(Sun)21:34:11 No.787503440 ITT: When your realised you were retarded >be me >10 years old >on holiday with family >we have a trailer tent >chillin in my bed >rumbleinthejungle.jpeg >haul ass to the camp sites toilets >the door to the only stall is locked >can't be bothered looking to see if someone's in there. >decide to s--- in urinal >at least 6 inch log >for some reason I decide to pick up the log and throw it over the stall door >hear someone in the stall shout "THE F---" >hear him fall off the toilet >run away >mfw
File: monkas.png (211 KB, 1200x675) Anonymous 12/16/18(Sun)21:34:11 No.787503440 ITT: When your realised you were retarded >be me >10 years old >on holiday with family >we have a trailer tent >chillin in my bed >rumbleinthejungle.jpeg >haul ass to the camp sites toilets >the door to the only stall is locked >can't be bothered looking to see if someone's in there. >decide to s--- in urinal >at least 6 inch log >for some reason I decide to pick up the log and throw it over the stall door >hear someone in the stall shout "THE F---" >hear him fall off the toilet >run away >mfw

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Anon has a great mother | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/02/18(Wed)18:48:52 No. 45089266 File: 571.png (81 KB, 658x901) >>45089296 >go to hug mum >she dabs on me instead mummy no
O Anonymous 05/02/18(Wed)18:48:52 No. 45089266 File: 571.png (81 KB, 658x901) >>45089296 >go to hug mum >she dabs on me instead mummy no

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Anon ruins a song | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)20:52:56 No.63981508 > be me > 2 weeks ago > open youtube tu put my music while doing homework > put my favorite song > almost a million views, not very 10 KB JPG famous > even memorized most of the top comments > be me today > puts fav song on youtube > millions of views and thousands of new comments > tf.mp4 > most people aiming for a specific part of the song > "Omg who else came here from @yourmom69" or some s--- > mfw when I realize it became famous on tik tok > not even the full song, just a 8 seconds clip of it I hate that song now.
: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)20:52:56 No.63981508 > be me > 2 weeks ago > open youtube tu put my music while doing homework > put my favorite song > almost a million views, not very 10 KB JPG famous > even memorized most of the top comments > be me today > puts fav song on youtube > millions of views and thousands of new comments > tf.mp4 > most people aiming for a specific part of the song > "Omg who else came here from @yourmom69" or some s--- > mfw when I realize it became famous on tik tok > not even the full song, just a 8 seconds clip of it I hate that song now.

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Anon got pregnant | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/27/17(Mon)17:59:00 No.752218163 >>752218266 >>752218318 >be 14, female >going through ugly teen phase >gaining weight like a champ >walking home with a friend >stupid bitch history teacher wouldn't let me go to the bathroom >really need to pee >oh f--- >literally p----- EVERYWHERE >friend looks confused as s--- >fuckfuckfuck >"uhhh.. oh S---, my water broke?" >thought my recent weight gain would support this >actually works >friend is freaking out whilst I claim being able to get home to get my mom to drive me to the hospital Couple of weeks later >f------ lie to my friend and say the baby died at birth >make a fake name for this baby I never had >luckily I'm good at fake crying a lot >beg friend to not bring it up ever again as it's "too painful" >she agrees >like it never happened to this day I'm a f------ retard
Anonymous 11/27/17(Mon)17:59:00 No.752218163 >>752218266 >>752218318 >be 14, female >going through ugly teen phase >gaining weight like a champ >walking home with a friend >stupid bitch history teacher wouldn't let me go to the bathroom >really need to pee >oh f--- >literally p----- EVERYWHERE >friend looks confused as s--- >fuckfuckfuck >"uhhh.. oh S---, my water broke?" >thought my recent weight gain would support this >actually works >friend is freaking out whilst I claim being able to get home to get my mom to drive me to the hospital Couple of weeks later >f------ lie to my friend and say the baby died at birth >make a fake name for this baby I never had >luckily I'm good at fake crying a lot >beg friend to not bring it up ever again as it's "too painful" >she agrees >like it never happened to this day I'm a f------ retard

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anon chills with spiderbro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)20:39:14 No.63981338 >be me >chilling in my room >windown open >pretty fat and loud fly enters my room >buzzes around for a few minutes >annoying as f--- but I'm too lazy to go chase it 14 KB JPG >suddenly it gets really loud >it flew into the web of spiderbro that lives in the corner of my room >two more minutes until the buzzing is gone for good love you spider bro. I knew it was the right thing to let you chill with me in my room.
: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)20:39:14 No.63981338 >be me >chilling in my room >windown open >pretty fat and loud fly enters my room >buzzes around for a few minutes >annoying as f--- but I'm too lazy to go chase it 14 KB JPG >suddenly it gets really loud >it flew into the web of spiderbro that lives in the corner of my room >two more minutes until the buzzing is gone for good love you spider bro. I knew it was the right thing to let you chill with me in my room.

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Anon probably works at McDonald's | /r/Greentext

/b/ - Ask a guy... Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work 1 reply Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds ...
/b/ - Ask a guy... Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work 1 reply Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds ...

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Anon has high iq | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/02/19(Wed)20:45:00 No.50197127 >be me >not chad >join cuckold community >lots of girls are looking for guys they can cuck, it's their fetish 28 KB JPG >a lot of REALLY HOT chicks end up messaging me >get one to start dating me >the deal is she f---- me and is free to f--- others on the side and sometimes I have to watch >I lose my virginity to her >l immediately go no contact on her and start messaging the other girls through this community >f----- 4 chicks out of my league and it has only been 1 month since I joined. Who here /high IQ/?
: Anonymous 01/02/19(Wed)20:45:00 No.50197127 >be me >not chad >join cuckold community >lots of girls are looking for guys they can cuck, it's their fetish 28 KB JPG >a lot of REALLY HOT chicks end up messaging me >get one to start dating me >the deal is she f---- me and is free to f--- others on the side and sometimes I have to watch >I lose my virginity to her >l immediately go no contact on her and start messaging the other girls through this community >f----- 4 chicks out of my league and it has only been 1 month since I joined. Who here /high IQ/?

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Anon has to fap to gay porn now | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/26/18(Mon)05:36:30 No.49503680 Anonymn >autists and incels report thots to the IRS WHO REPORTED MY PREMILM SNAPCHAT TO THE IRS? IM BEING F------ AUDITED. My new hobby is reporting thots to the IRS. You con help too. For every subetantial tip, you can be fnancially rewarded httpswww.rgo/oompliance/whisteblower >Thots stop posting nudes and informant award httpswww.sgor/inaviduals/how do you report suspected ta-fraud activty Turmbir and instagram ane enpecially proftable hunting grounda. De your part to stap cyber prostnation p--- 102 KB JPG >Autists and incels have nothing to fap to anymore >Turn to gay p--- to satisfy themselves Good job retards, you're playing right into the Jew agenda.
: Anonymous 11/26/18(Mon)05:36:30 No.49503680 Anonymn >autists and incels report thots to the IRS WHO REPORTED MY PREMILM SNAPCHAT TO THE IRS? IM BEING F------ AUDITED. My new hobby is reporting thots to the IRS. You con help too. For every subetantial tip, you can be fnancially rewarded httpswww.rgo/oompliance/whisteblower >Thots stop posting nudes and informant award httpswww.sgor/inaviduals/how do you report suspected ta-fraud activty Turmbir and instagram ane enpecially proftable hunting grounda. De your part to stap cyber prostnation p--- 102 KB JPG >Autists and incels have nothing to fap to anymore >Turn to gay p--- to satisfy themselves Good job retards, you're playing right into the Jew agenda.

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Anon had a great idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)20:17:41 No.844861756 >be me >extremely constipated >tried everything >in huge amount of pain and desperate for relief >have 'great idea' >go to petco and get a gerbil 5 KB JPG >brief him on his mission >operation declog is a go >send the little fella into the cavernous deeps >godspeednibbles.bmp >a couple hours go by and i dont feel him >getting worried >mfw currently at petco to get a rescue gerbil Hold on nibbles help is on the way
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)20:17:41 No.844861756 >be me >extremely constipated >tried everything >in huge amount of pain and desperate for relief >have 'great idea' >go to petco and get a gerbil 5 KB JPG >brief him on his mission >operation declog is a go >send the little fella into the cavernous deeps >godspeednibbles.bmp >a couple hours go by and i dont feel him >getting worried >mfw currently at petco to get a rescue gerbil Hold on nibbles help is on the way

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