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Anon posts on reddit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720631 >be me >instagram normie >think all memes come from reddit >sign up for reddit, just passed 1 year >find out memes come from 4chan >be me Is there a place beyond 4chan? 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720676 >>774720631 (OP) 9gag 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 33 minutos 774720703 >>774720676 and past that is ifunny
Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720631 >be me >instagram normie >think all memes come from reddit >sign up for reddit, just passed 1 year >find out memes come from 4chan >be me Is there a place beyond 4chan? 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720676 >>774720631 (OP) 9gag 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 33 minutos 774720703 >>774720676 and past that is ifunny

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Anon likes rap battles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: koqD0xc2 epic rap battle 05/30/21(Sun)06:51:18 No.12845458 >be me, 13 year old in 2012 >Big fan of Epic Rap Battles of History >Really really f------ enjoy Hitler vs Darth Vader >Love it so much that I used Hitler as 47 KB JPG my Facebook profile picture, didn't really care much about Star Wars >Mind you, they don't really teach Hitler from where I am so I initially thought he was some cool fictional character and I didn't go bother reading his Wikipedia page or something >Friend from another country I met from a graphics design forum asks how my day was or something >He has a Persona 3 profile picture so we talked about that, same interests after all >Conversation was mostly gamer s--- but he eventually asked me this: >"Hey anon, why do you have Hitler as your profile picture?" >13 year old eyes gleam >"Oh, I'm a really big fan of his work" That conversation ended really quickly. He made a status update saying that his day was absolutely ruined because of someone and I wondered why. Minutes later, he disappeared from my friends list or anywhere at all. Like, 3 years after, I was looking at my profile pictures and I see that F------ picture of Hitler. I deleted it and realized that dude probably blocked me. If you read this or something, I'm sorry LMAO
: Anonymous (ID: koqD0xc2 epic rap battle 05/30/21(Sun)06:51:18 No.12845458 >be me, 13 year old in 2012 >Big fan of Epic Rap Battles of History >Really really f------ enjoy Hitler vs Darth Vader >Love it so much that I used Hitler as 47 KB JPG my Facebook profile picture, didn't really care much about Star Wars >Mind you, they don't really teach Hitler from where I am so I initially thought he was some cool fictional character and I didn't go bother reading his Wikipedia page or something >Friend from another country I met from a graphics design forum asks how my day was or something >He has a Persona 3 profile picture so we talked about that, same interests after all >Conversation was mostly gamer s--- but he eventually asked me this: >"Hey anon, why do you have Hitler as your profile picture?" >13 year old eyes gleam >"Oh, I'm a really big fan of his work" That conversation ended really quickly. He made a status update saying that his day was absolutely ruined because of someone and I wondered why. Minutes later, he disappeared from my friends list or anywhere at all. Like, 3 years after, I was looking at my profile pictures and I see that F------ picture of Hitler. I deleted it and realized that dude probably blocked me. If you read this or something, I'm sorry LMAO

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Anon's first school day | /r/Greentext

>Be me >First day of first grade >Dont really know anybody >See some girl that looks really 1.42 MB GIF cute >l start walking over >Random kid walks up >Says, yo thats my girlfriend >Girl in back starts laughing >So many emotions come forth >Decide the only logical thing to do is punch the f----- in jaw >Yell, "GET WRECKED F------ >Nurse runs up says, "What have you done?" >Turns out I broke the f------ jaw >Never allowed to teach at that school again.
>Be me >First day of first grade >Dont really know anybody >See some girl that looks really 1.42 MB GIF cute >l start walking over >Random kid walks up >Says, yo thats my girlfriend >Girl in back starts laughing >So many emotions come forth >Decide the only logical thing to do is punch the f----- in jaw >Yell, "GET WRECKED F------ >Nurse runs up says, "What have you done?" >Turns out I broke the f------ jaw >Never allowed to teach at that school again.

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Anon smells something good | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)18:16:03 No.63915484 >get into the elevator for my apartment >qt neighbor is in there coming up from the basement parking with a few grocery bags >say hello >suddenly notice a delicious smell 102 KB JPG >ask him what takeout he has because it smells so good >he looks confused for a second then bursts out laughing >says he just has eggs bread and milk in his bags >says he farted just after he got in the elevator
: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)18:16:03 No.63915484 >get into the elevator for my apartment >qt neighbor is in there coming up from the basement parking with a few grocery bags >say hello >suddenly notice a delicious smell 102 KB JPG >ask him what takeout he has because it smells so good >he looks confused for a second then bursts out laughing >says he just has eggs bread and milk in his bags >says he farted just after he got in the elevator

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Anon forgets he‘s in real life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:26:09 No.63407494 >9/10 coworker says she needs to take a piss but the toilets are under maintenance >forget I'm not on the internet and almost say "why don't you piss in my mouth" It almost came out of my mouth. 303 KB JPG Luckily I could hold myself back.
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:26:09 No.63407494 >9/10 coworker says she needs to take a piss but the toilets are under maintenance >forget I'm not on the internet and almost say "why don't you piss in my mouth" It almost came out of my mouth. 303 KB JPG Luckily I could hold myself back.

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And Taiwan is a country | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: XAO9SW72) 05/29/21(Sat)15:23:10 No.323709709 >just realised 'norway' and 'the netherlands' are two different countries 85 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: wBfdEuB+ ) 05/29/21 (Sat)15:24:39 No.323709792 every day someone realizes that austria and australia are not the same >>323714865 # >>323715991 # >>323722800 # >>323725160 # >>323726681 # >>323729695 # : Anonymous (ID: QudX55WZ ) [•1 05/29/21(Sat)18:28:44 No.323723272 >>323709709 (OP)_# >just realized the netherlands is danish, which has nothing to do with denmark 14 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: XAO9SW72) 05/29/21(Sat)15:23:10 No.323709709 >just realised 'norway' and 'the netherlands' are two different countries 85 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: wBfdEuB+ ) 05/29/21 (Sat)15:24:39 No.323709792 every day someone realizes that austria and australia are not the same >>323714865 # >>323715991 # >>323722800 # >>323725160 # >>323726681 # >>323729695 # : Anonymous (ID: QudX55WZ ) [•1 05/29/21(Sat)18:28:44 No.323723272 >>323709709 (OP)_# >just realized the netherlands is danish, which has nothing to do with denmark 14 KB JPG

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anon criticizes enderman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/18(Thu)13:28:16 No.787288109 >don't like eye contact >pick up random things they find >make random noises Are endermen autistic? 86 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/13/18(Thu)13:28:16 No.787288109 >don't like eye contact >pick up random things they find >make random noises Are endermen autistic? 86 KB JPG

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Anon cooks dinner for his family | /r/Greentext


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Anon is fat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" >mfw 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" >mfw 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon likes his job. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/19(Thu)22:19:35 No.461562961 >be me, smoke grenade >love my f----- job >operator-san chooses me and pulls my ring out >make a *FWOOOM* as I fly through the air in sheer pleasure >feel my thin shiny exterior scratch as I 38 KB JPG bounce off many a wall into a tight tactical spot >know he abuses me because he loves me too >thought I could contain myself a little longer this time but I can't, my fuse is perfectly measured >release my blinding contents all over the enemies eyes with a loud *FWOOSHHHHHHHHH* as I climax god I love my f----- job : Anonymous 05/09/19(Thu)22:20:38 No.461563079 >>461562961 (OP) # what
: Anonymous 05/09/19(Thu)22:19:35 No.461562961 >be me, smoke grenade >love my f----- job >operator-san chooses me and pulls my ring out >make a *FWOOOM* as I fly through the air in sheer pleasure >feel my thin shiny exterior scratch as I 38 KB JPG bounce off many a wall into a tight tactical spot >know he abuses me because he loves me too >thought I could contain myself a little longer this time but I can't, my fuse is perfectly measured >release my blinding contents all over the enemies eyes with a loud *FWOOSHHHHHHHHH* as I climax god I love my f----- job : Anonymous 05/09/19(Thu)22:20:38 No.461563079 >>461562961 (OP) # what

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Anon is a social outcast | /r/Greentext

>be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up 42 KB JPG to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy
>be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up 42 KB JPG to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/20(Mon)01:07:02 No.828416704 > be me > haven't left the house for anything other than for walks all of quarantine > play video games i hate to forget about life 75 KB JPG > watch shows i've seen three times > lay in bed > haven't worked out in months > haven't worked in months > fantasize about dreams that i don't even enjoy, just imagine being accepted > fantasize of an afterlife or deeper meaning > wake up every morning with no feelings of excitement > have anxiety over a life i don't even have any goals for is there a worse life than a humans?
: Anonymous 05/25/20(Mon)01:07:02 No.828416704 > be me > haven't left the house for anything other than for walks all of quarantine > play video games i hate to forget about life 75 KB JPG > watch shows i've seen three times > lay in bed > haven't worked out in months > haven't worked in months > fantasize about dreams that i don't even enjoy, just imagine being accepted > fantasize of an afterlife or deeper meaning > wake up every morning with no feelings of excitement > have anxiety over a life i don't even have any goals for is there a worse life than a humans?

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Anon has a gf | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to Walmart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/17(Wed)23:15:27 No.38183766 >bought some cheap shirt for $3 at Walmart >take it home and try it on >go to the mirror to see if it looks good >fits decently, turn slightly to check it out and smile at myself in the 236 KB PNG mirror >flashback to when my mom would buy me clothes as a kid, put them on me and l'd turn so she can see if they fit >then she'd smile at me >suddenly hit with massive feels >grew up pretty poor, mom and dad worked a lot just to afford very basic luxuries for me >I was always happy, I always had a smile on my face, I never went wanting >mid-20s now and moved to another state for work, haven't seen my beautiful mother in a long time >her birthday is coming up, gonna get her a card and a gift card to a clothing store Never take anyone you have in your life for granted anons ;-; 7 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 07/05/17(Wed)23:46:34 No.38184302 >>38183766 (OP)# Thank you for this story anon. This made me reminisce about days long gone.
: Anonymous 07/05/17(Wed)23:15:27 No.38183766 >bought some cheap shirt for $3 at Walmart >take it home and try it on >go to the mirror to see if it looks good >fits decently, turn slightly to check it out and smile at myself in the 236 KB PNG mirror >flashback to when my mom would buy me clothes as a kid, put them on me and l'd turn so she can see if they fit >then she'd smile at me >suddenly hit with massive feels >grew up pretty poor, mom and dad worked a lot just to afford very basic luxuries for me >I was always happy, I always had a smile on my face, I never went wanting >mid-20s now and moved to another state for work, haven't seen my beautiful mother in a long time >her birthday is coming up, gonna get her a card and a gift card to a clothing store Never take anyone you have in your life for granted anons ;-; 7 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 07/05/17(Wed)23:46:34 No.38184302 >>38183766 (OP)# Thank you for this story anon. This made me reminisce about days long gone.

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Anon's friend had regrets | /r/Greentext

1h (5/28 15:38) · 63880930 5 Re 2 Img JPG 45KB (680 × 760) 4 Replies GENDER REVEAL >have an Iranian online friend >he is secretly an atheist and basically a liberal >l tell him everything about western women >he changes his mind and becomes a muslim again Umm, based?
1h (5/28 15:38) · 63880930 5 Re 2 Img JPG 45KB (680 × 760) 4 Replies GENDER REVEAL >have an Iranian online friend >he is secretly an atheist and basically a liberal >l tell him everything about western women >he changes his mind and becomes a muslim again Umm, based?

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Anons day gets worse | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)19:02:05 No.63907311 >thread on sock is sticking out >try ripping it off >twirling it around my finger and tugging it >doesn't wanna rip off >keeps extending >try a few more times 809 KB JPG >by the time i give up and go get some scissors it's extremely long >sock is a lot tighter now today just got worse :(
: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)19:02:05 No.63907311 >thread on sock is sticking out >try ripping it off >twirling it around my finger and tugging it >doesn't wanna rip off >keeps extending >try a few more times 809 KB JPG >by the time i give up and go get some scissors it's extremely long >sock is a lot tighter now today just got worse :(

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Anon is very drunk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:25:00 No.50676323 >p--- blaring on the computer >drunk again >bottle of vodka right on the desk >d--- in my hand >moaning s--- like oh yeah baby f--- me look at that f----- ass 85 KB JPG >my dad walks up and closes my door >the door was open >puke into the bin and blackout >wake up in a dark room on the floor next to my bed >parents are talking and mom might be crying : Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:37:35 No.50676520 >talking to p--- are you mentally disabled? >>50676592 #
: Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:25:00 No.50676323 >p--- blaring on the computer >drunk again >bottle of vodka right on the desk >d--- in my hand >moaning s--- like oh yeah baby f--- me look at that f----- ass 85 KB JPG >my dad walks up and closes my door >the door was open >puke into the bin and blackout >wake up in a dark room on the floor next to my bed >parents are talking and mom might be crying : Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:37:35 No.50676520 >talking to p--- are you mentally disabled? >>50676592 #

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why take medicine then? ;) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)10:25:21 No.763744016 >be me >28, live with wife >wake up in the morning to the smell of bacon and eggs >walk downstairs to greet my wife in the kitchen 65 KB PNG >she smiles at me >happiness >go over to medicine cabinet >hear my beautiful wife humming in the background >take my meds >2mg risperdal >turn to wife >she's gone >start cooking bacon and eggs
: Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)10:25:21 No.763744016 >be me >28, live with wife >wake up in the morning to the smell of bacon and eggs >walk downstairs to greet my wife in the kitchen 65 KB PNG >she smiles at me >happiness >go over to medicine cabinet >hear my beautiful wife humming in the background >take my meds >2mg risperdal >turn to wife >she's gone >start cooking bacon and eggs

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Anon is a helpful brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 792698618 50 min ago ••• >be me, 26 m a few years ago >little sister calls me to ask if I can buy Girl Scout cookies >buy two boxes of thin mints >idea.png >tell little sister l'll make her tons of money >tell her to let me handle everything >turn on my computer >l'm a f------ genius >start selling "mystery boxes" through the dark web 81.4 kB JPG >there's an estimate shipment date of 2-3 weeks for the cookies to arrive >l sell a mystery box for $200 a pop >End up selling about 60-70 mystery boxes in three days >tell my sister >she is super happy >feelsgoodman >sister sold the most and got some award >mfw I operated an underground cookie ring >mfw I got contacted by the local police for shipping all those boxes of Girl Scout cookies but proved there was nothing illegal about it |
Anonymous | 792698618 50 min ago ••• >be me, 26 m a few years ago >little sister calls me to ask if I can buy Girl Scout cookies >buy two boxes of thin mints >idea.png >tell little sister l'll make her tons of money >tell her to let me handle everything >turn on my computer >l'm a f------ genius >start selling "mystery boxes" through the dark web 81.4 kB JPG >there's an estimate shipment date of 2-3 weeks for the cookies to arrive >l sell a mystery box for $200 a pop >End up selling about 60-70 mystery boxes in three days >tell my sister >she is super happy >feelsgoodman >sister sold the most and got some award >mfw I operated an underground cookie ring >mfw I got contacted by the local police for shipping all those boxes of Girl Scout cookies but proved there was nothing illegal about it |

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None of the above | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:01:50 No.3803848 What would you rather be killed by? >Grizzly >Great white >Tiger >Gorilla If you say "none of the above" you're gay. 115 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:05:23 No.3803851 >>3803848 (OP) # all of the above >>3803853 # >>3803856 #
: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:01:50 No.3803848 What would you rather be killed by? >Grizzly >Great white >Tiger >Gorilla If you say "none of the above" you're gay. 115 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:05:23 No.3803851 >>3803848 (OP) # all of the above >>3803853 # >>3803856 #

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