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Anon loves his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)09:12:38 No.63252075 >be me >m21 with f13 sister >live with dad because mom is meth head >dad dies >can't afford rent on my own >potential roommates are fighting and 696 KB JPG flakey >wish I could kill myself but I can't let my sister live like s--- like she has her whole life there's nothing I can do dood
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)09:12:38 No.63252075 >be me >m21 with f13 sister >live with dad because mom is meth head >dad dies >can't afford rent on my own >potential roommates are fighting and 696 KB JPG flakey >wish I could kill myself but I can't let my sister live like s--- like she has her whole life there's nothing I can do dood

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Anon sings a song | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)02:18:30 No.63922871 >Crush is named Victoria >Trying to impress her >Me and the boys show up at her house singing the nazi song Sieg Heil Viktoria >She calls the police instead of liking it 5 KB JPG >F------ normie bitch
: Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)02:18:30 No.63922871 >Crush is named Victoria >Trying to impress her >Me and the boys show up at her house singing the nazi song Sieg Heil Viktoria >She calls the police instead of liking it 5 KB JPG >F------ normie bitch

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Anon finds out | /r/Greentext

File: dOf6b890763211dc0a89a7e588792dfa.jpg (27 KB, 465x327) /b/ Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)18:13:46 No.855605136 [Reply] >Go on 4chan for the 1st time >Take 500000 years to find out how to navigate cuz l'm a retard >Go on b >"It's. just p---" >Thought there was gonna be funny posts with a few incel Nazi posts >"Why is a lot of it so weird too?!" >Leaves site
File: dOf6b890763211dc0a89a7e588792dfa.jpg (27 KB, 465x327) /b/ Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)18:13:46 No.855605136 [Reply] >Go on 4chan for the 1st time >Take 500000 years to find out how to navigate cuz l'm a retard >Go on b >"It's. just p---" >Thought there was gonna be funny posts with a few incel Nazi posts >"Why is a lot of it so weird too?!" >Leaves site

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Anon gets screened | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/06/21(Thu)07:08:30 No.6354 >tfw had to strip down infront of airport security because i had a metal chasity cage on 7 KB JPG
Anonymous 05/06/21(Thu)07:08:30 No.6354 >tfw had to strip down infront of airport security because i had a metal chasity cage on 7 KB JPG

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Anon likes Chopin | /r/Greentext


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Anon Loses His Neethood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/07/19(Mon)21:04:19 No.789381010 Well guys, this is it. >be me >high school graduate >parents are done with my lazy presence around the house 110 KB JPG >tell me to get a job, but are nice about it >l understand their concern about me growing up >19th birthday is later this month >I think long and hard one night >fuckit.jpg >go to bed early, wake up early >make myself presentable to the outside world >go to local safeway >ask assistant manager about any positions >she asks for my information to give me a call later >2 hours later I get a call >interviewconfirmed.exe >wake up supremely early next morning >walk safeway for interview and sign papers >l'm going to work as a produce clerk next week
: Anonymous 01/07/19(Mon)21:04:19 No.789381010 Well guys, this is it. >be me >high school graduate >parents are done with my lazy presence around the house 110 KB JPG >tell me to get a job, but are nice about it >l understand their concern about me growing up >19th birthday is later this month >I think long and hard one night >fuckit.jpg >go to bed early, wake up early >make myself presentable to the outside world >go to local safeway >ask assistant manager about any positions >she asks for my information to give me a call later >2 hours later I get a call >interviewconfirmed.exe >wake up supremely early next morning >walk safeway for interview and sign papers >l'm going to work as a produce clerk next week

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Anon likes reading reviews | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a saviour. | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 02/18/18(Sun)23:03:49 No.760310831 File: received 1974516546119619.jpg (24 KB, 541x642) >>760311467 >be me >8 years old >playing around in my dads car >looking at the guages >think the car is empty because the fuel guage says low >remember that he has a important meeting in town the next day >idea.webm >hatch a plan to fill up dads car for him with the garden hose >decide to surprise him in the morning >he starts the car >"what the hell i thought i only had half a tank" >"surprise dad" >car dies >"what did you do?" >explain >dads p----- >going on about how hes going to miss his big meeting >calls taxi >taxi takes forever but arrives >taxi drops me off at my grandparents house 3 blocks away >grandma comes running out screaming like a banshee >she rushes me and dad into the house >look on the tv >911 >tfw dumb s--- as a kid saved my dad
>> Anonymous 02/18/18(Sun)23:03:49 No.760310831 File: received 1974516546119619.jpg (24 KB, 541x642) >>760311467 >be me >8 years old >playing around in my dads car >looking at the guages >think the car is empty because the fuel guage says low >remember that he has a important meeting in town the next day >idea.webm >hatch a plan to fill up dads car for him with the garden hose >decide to surprise him in the morning >he starts the car >"what the hell i thought i only had half a tank" >"surprise dad" >car dies >"what did you do?" >explain >dads p----- >going on about how hes going to miss his big meeting >calls taxi >taxi takes forever but arrives >taxi drops me off at my grandparents house 3 blocks away >grandma comes running out screaming like a banshee >she rushes me and dad into the house >look on the tv >911 >tfw dumb s--- as a kid saved my dad

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Anon likes the word of the lord | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)14:28:40 No.63918437 What is your weirdest thing you have wanked to? (Not most extreme or violent thing just strange) Me first 21 KB JPG >Go to school with a girl in high school, she is really attractive and I like her a lot >but she and her parents are super hardcore Orthodox Christians so I do not have chance >Hear one day at school that she has a YouTube channel, I go to check it out and it is just her reading entire chapters of the bible over a black screen >On the channel she has read the entire bible, one day I am so horny that I look up the most sexual bible verses and got to her video where she reads the entirety of Ezekiel skip to Ezekiel 23:18-21 and bust a fat nut to her reading, I do this for months until she deletes her channel because of hate comments TL DR I have jerked off to multiple bible verses multiple times Share yours
: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)14:28:40 No.63918437 What is your weirdest thing you have wanked to? (Not most extreme or violent thing just strange) Me first 21 KB JPG >Go to school with a girl in high school, she is really attractive and I like her a lot >but she and her parents are super hardcore Orthodox Christians so I do not have chance >Hear one day at school that she has a YouTube channel, I go to check it out and it is just her reading entire chapters of the bible over a black screen >On the channel she has read the entire bible, one day I am so horny that I look up the most sexual bible verses and got to her video where she reads the entirety of Ezekiel skip to Ezekiel 23:18-21 and bust a fat nut to her reading, I do this for months until she deletes her channel because of hate comments TL DR I have jerked off to multiple bible verses multiple times Share yours

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Anon plays uno | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)18:47:08 No.144971906 UNO person-uno.png 103 KB PNG >"Nice play Mr. Bond, however you did not announce you were almost finished, so now you are two cards further from victory."
: Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)18:47:08 No.144971906 UNO person-uno.png 103 KB PNG >"Nice play Mr. Bond, however you did not announce you were almost finished, so now you are two cards further from victory."

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Anon is inferior | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/19(Tue)09:49:34 No.792436734 >dad is easily 6'5 and has sporty built >mom is 5'11 but also has a sporty built >be me >their first born >they have my sister 16 months later >mom & dad think we're going to be 98 KB JPG great sports players >l ended up having asthma and only being 5'4 >sister became 6'3 and has the perfect sporty built >she plays volleyball, soccer, and softball >mom & dad love her >our living is filled with pictures of her and trophies >the only picture of me is the family photo >mom & dad rarely talk to me >sister is probably going to college for free because sports >mfw I don't even give a s--- about college I just want my parents to love me
: Anonymous 02/12/19(Tue)09:49:34 No.792436734 >dad is easily 6'5 and has sporty built >mom is 5'11 but also has a sporty built >be me >their first born >they have my sister 16 months later >mom & dad think we're going to be 98 KB JPG great sports players >l ended up having asthma and only being 5'4 >sister became 6'3 and has the perfect sporty built >she plays volleyball, soccer, and softball >mom & dad love her >our living is filled with pictures of her and trophies >the only picture of me is the family photo >mom & dad rarely talk to me >sister is probably going to college for free because sports >mfw I don't even give a s--- about college I just want my parents to love me

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Anon gets advice | /r/Greentext


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Anon hates Canada | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)02:09:15 No.855655547 be a mass murderer >get arrested >get executed >wake up in someone else's body >think you got a second chance to right your wrongs >quickly discover that you're in 20 KB JPG Canada >hell now doesn't seem so bad >kill yourself >wake up in a different man's body >you're in Canada again >this is your final destination. you cannot escape. god has punished you by making you perpetually Canadian.
: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)02:09:15 No.855655547 be a mass murderer >get arrested >get executed >wake up in someone else's body >think you got a second chance to right your wrongs >quickly discover that you're in 20 KB JPG Canada >hell now doesn't seem so bad >kill yourself >wake up in a different man's body >you're in Canada again >this is your final destination. you cannot escape. god has punished you by making you perpetually Canadian.

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Anon sees a dogfight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:01 No.55852 >be 16 >hear dogs obviously attacking something in back yard >go out and get them to leave it alone >oh s--- it's a bloody 33 KB PNG unssod >think Its dead, go to put it In garbage >notice Its stillI breathing >decide to put it out of it's misery >grab a broken skateboard and smash It over it's head >possum starts convulsing >oh god why aren't you dying >keep beating it >feel like Christopher bale killing Jared letto In American psycho >it finally dies >check the body and see the dogs barely scratched it >mfw I remember possums play dead
Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:01 No.55852 >be 16 >hear dogs obviously attacking something in back yard >go out and get them to leave it alone >oh s--- it's a bloody 33 KB PNG unssod >think Its dead, go to put it In garbage >notice Its stillI breathing >decide to put it out of it's misery >grab a broken skateboard and smash It over it's head >possum starts convulsing >oh god why aren't you dying >keep beating it >feel like Christopher bale killing Jared letto In American psycho >it finally dies >check the body and see the dogs barely scratched it >mfw I remember possums play dead

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It was a pleasure doing business with you | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:21:58 No.3811102 1599872026748.jpg 102 KB JPG >>3810932 # >you give me a banana >I give you a 15 minute subscription to my "not biting your fingers" service Sounds like a peaceful exchange of goods and services to me. >>3811355 #
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:21:58 No.3811102 1599872026748.jpg 102 KB JPG >>3810932 # >you give me a banana >I give you a 15 minute subscription to my "not biting your fingers" service Sounds like a peaceful exchange of goods and services to me. >>3811355 #

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Anon talks about his favourite garment | /r/Greentext


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Anon posts on reddit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720631 >be me >instagram normie >think all memes come from reddit >sign up for reddit, just passed 1 year >find out memes come from 4chan >be me Is there a place beyond 4chan? 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720676 >>774720631 (OP) 9gag 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 33 minutos 774720703 >>774720676 and past that is ifunny
Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720631 >be me >instagram normie >think all memes come from reddit >sign up for reddit, just passed 1 year >find out memes come from 4chan >be me Is there a place beyond 4chan? 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720676 >>774720631 (OP) 9gag 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 33 minutos 774720703 >>774720676 and past that is ifunny

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Anon likes rap battles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: koqD0xc2 epic rap battle 05/30/21(Sun)06:51:18 No.12845458 >be me, 13 year old in 2012 >Big fan of Epic Rap Battles of History >Really really f------ enjoy Hitler vs Darth Vader >Love it so much that I used Hitler as 47 KB JPG my Facebook profile picture, didn't really care much about Star Wars >Mind you, they don't really teach Hitler from where I am so I initially thought he was some cool fictional character and I didn't go bother reading his Wikipedia page or something >Friend from another country I met from a graphics design forum asks how my day was or something >He has a Persona 3 profile picture so we talked about that, same interests after all >Conversation was mostly gamer s--- but he eventually asked me this: >"Hey anon, why do you have Hitler as your profile picture?" >13 year old eyes gleam >"Oh, I'm a really big fan of his work" That conversation ended really quickly. He made a status update saying that his day was absolutely ruined because of someone and I wondered why. Minutes later, he disappeared from my friends list or anywhere at all. Like, 3 years after, I was looking at my profile pictures and I see that F------ picture of Hitler. I deleted it and realized that dude probably blocked me. If you read this or something, I'm sorry LMAO
: Anonymous (ID: koqD0xc2 epic rap battle 05/30/21(Sun)06:51:18 No.12845458 >be me, 13 year old in 2012 >Big fan of Epic Rap Battles of History >Really really f------ enjoy Hitler vs Darth Vader >Love it so much that I used Hitler as 47 KB JPG my Facebook profile picture, didn't really care much about Star Wars >Mind you, they don't really teach Hitler from where I am so I initially thought he was some cool fictional character and I didn't go bother reading his Wikipedia page or something >Friend from another country I met from a graphics design forum asks how my day was or something >He has a Persona 3 profile picture so we talked about that, same interests after all >Conversation was mostly gamer s--- but he eventually asked me this: >"Hey anon, why do you have Hitler as your profile picture?" >13 year old eyes gleam >"Oh, I'm a really big fan of his work" That conversation ended really quickly. He made a status update saying that his day was absolutely ruined because of someone and I wondered why. Minutes later, he disappeared from my friends list or anywhere at all. Like, 3 years after, I was looking at my profile pictures and I see that F------ picture of Hitler. I deleted it and realized that dude probably blocked me. If you read this or something, I'm sorry LMAO

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Anon's first school day | /r/Greentext

>Be me >First day of first grade >Dont really know anybody >See some girl that looks really 1.42 MB GIF cute >l start walking over >Random kid walks up >Says, yo thats my girlfriend >Girl in back starts laughing >So many emotions come forth >Decide the only logical thing to do is punch the f----- in jaw >Yell, "GET WRECKED F------ >Nurse runs up says, "What have you done?" >Turns out I broke the f------ jaw >Never allowed to teach at that school again.
>Be me >First day of first grade >Dont really know anybody >See some girl that looks really 1.42 MB GIF cute >l start walking over >Random kid walks up >Says, yo thats my girlfriend >Girl in back starts laughing >So many emotions come forth >Decide the only logical thing to do is punch the f----- in jaw >Yell, "GET WRECKED F------ >Nurse runs up says, "What have you done?" >Turns out I broke the f------ jaw >Never allowed to teach at that school again.

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Anon smells something good | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)18:16:03 No.63915484 >get into the elevator for my apartment >qt neighbor is in there coming up from the basement parking with a few grocery bags >say hello >suddenly notice a delicious smell 102 KB JPG >ask him what takeout he has because it smells so good >he looks confused for a second then bursts out laughing >says he just has eggs bread and milk in his bags >says he farted just after he got in the elevator
: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)18:16:03 No.63915484 >get into the elevator for my apartment >qt neighbor is in there coming up from the basement parking with a few grocery bags >say hello >suddenly notice a delicious smell 102 KB JPG >ask him what takeout he has because it smells so good >he looks confused for a second then bursts out laughing >says he just has eggs bread and milk in his bags >says he farted just after he got in the elevator

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