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Anon is savage | /r/Greentext


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Anon regrets | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)21:35:15 No.63871434 >be me >pretty wealthy from parents money >6 feet, white >browsing 4chan 16 KB JPG what did I do wrong
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)21:35:15 No.63871434 >be me >pretty wealthy from parents money >6 feet, white >browsing 4chan 16 KB JPG what did I do wrong

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It's hard to get a blowjob at age 7 | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 10/02/15(Fri)20:17:24 No.644454419 File: 1438873902563.jpg (31 KB, 505x479) >>644455296 >be 7 >think b------- involve actual blowing >can't blow self >get idea >blow up balloon and stretch it over my d--- as fast as possible >mom walks in >panic and let go of balloon >d--- is out and balloon is flying around the room >can only hear the sound of judgement and farts >balloon hits her face >leaves >cry myself to sleep
O Anonymous 10/02/15(Fri)20:17:24 No.644454419 File: 1438873902563.jpg (31 KB, 505x479) >>644455296 >be 7 >think b------- involve actual blowing >can't blow self >get idea >blow up balloon and stretch it over my d--- as fast as possible >mom walks in >panic and let go of balloon >d--- is out and balloon is flying around the room >can only hear the sound of judgement and farts >balloon hits her face >leaves >cry myself to sleep

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Anon loves his mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)00:32:32 No.63873598 >Mom gets back from work >finishing her notes for the day while eating dinner >l pester her about watching a show with me >Go get it set up in the tv Anon, I'm almost done 20 KB GIF >we decide on the 60s Star Trek >there's something special about that show, it's a mix of cringe laughter at the cheesy acting and the interesting quirks of a future imagined in the 60s >Mom hands me a snack per usual as the first episode is about to start >She's got this awesome weighted blanket smothering both of us to death >we laugh until we're crying at the God-awful acting and effects >I love my mom : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)00:33:56 No.63873619 >>63873598 (OP) # wholesome and comfy story anon. : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)00:34:40 No.63873630 >>63873598 (OP)_# Sounds like fun Anon
: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)00:32:32 No.63873598 >Mom gets back from work >finishing her notes for the day while eating dinner >l pester her about watching a show with me >Go get it set up in the tv Anon, I'm almost done 20 KB GIF >we decide on the 60s Star Trek >there's something special about that show, it's a mix of cringe laughter at the cheesy acting and the interesting quirks of a future imagined in the 60s >Mom hands me a snack per usual as the first episode is about to start >She's got this awesome weighted blanket smothering both of us to death >we laugh until we're crying at the God-awful acting and effects >I love my mom : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)00:33:56 No.63873619 >>63873598 (OP) # wholesome and comfy story anon. : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)00:34:40 No.63873630 >>63873598 (OP)_# Sounds like fun Anon

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Anon is looking like a serial killer | /r/Greentext

Im going to die alone and theres nothing i can do >be me Odontwant to teel that feel anymore >ugly af and im always wearing a hoodie and looking like a serial killer 10 KB JPG >be evening >im walking home >see two girls and were going to cross road >fall slightly behind them >it just happend to be that we were heading the same way >theyre whispering and one of them is constantly turning around >after 10 min of following i turn to the gates of my home >see one of the girls spook the other one by going behind her and grabing her I mean that was just cruel and needless...
Im going to die alone and theres nothing i can do >be me Odontwant to teel that feel anymore >ugly af and im always wearing a hoodie and looking like a serial killer 10 KB JPG >be evening >im walking home >see two girls and were going to cross road >fall slightly behind them >it just happend to be that we were heading the same way >theyre whispering and one of them is constantly turning around >after 10 min of following i turn to the gates of my home >see one of the girls spook the other one by going behind her and grabing her I mean that was just cruel and needless...

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Anon is a chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Epic recovery 05/27/21(Thu)21:00:16 No.63871002 >be me >work at the news-stand >not a lot of space so the air flow is quite bad >just vibin >about to fart 62 KB JPG >don't want to fart inside because of bad air circulation. >idea >open the door, stick my ass out and make a nice fardd >then i remember i need to put newspapers inside if it rains >check the sky to see if it is about to rain >two guys leaning on the wall, smoking cigs looking at me horrified >they were minding their own buissines when suddenly a random ass emerged from the wall beside them and toot in their face >we are looking at each other speechless >look to the sky again >"looks like its about to thunder boys" >close the doors and leave >see them quickly walking away through the window >Imao
: Anonymous Epic recovery 05/27/21(Thu)21:00:16 No.63871002 >be me >work at the news-stand >not a lot of space so the air flow is quite bad >just vibin >about to fart 62 KB JPG >don't want to fart inside because of bad air circulation. >idea >open the door, stick my ass out and make a nice fardd >then i remember i need to put newspapers inside if it rains >check the sky to see if it is about to rain >two guys leaning on the wall, smoking cigs looking at me horrified >they were minding their own buissines when suddenly a random ass emerged from the wall beside them and toot in their face >we are looking at each other speechless >look to the sky again >"looks like its about to thunder boys" >close the doors and leave >see them quickly walking away through the window >Imao

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Anon jacks off | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 48906634 36 min. ago >be me >be 15 >hear that only 14yo girls say oof >say oof >im basically a girl now >j------- >say oof again which means that im a guy again since the two oofs cancel each other out 123.2 kB JPG >basically got jacked off by a girl >basically had sex See ya later virgins REPLY Anonymous | 48906721 28 min. ago >be 15 Thanks for letting me know right at the beginning that this was trash
Anonymous | 48906634 36 min. ago >be me >be 15 >hear that only 14yo girls say oof >say oof >im basically a girl now >j------- >say oof again which means that im a guy again since the two oofs cancel each other out 123.2 kB JPG >basically got jacked off by a girl >basically had sex See ya later virgins REPLY Anonymous | 48906721 28 min. ago >be 15 Thanks for letting me know right at the beginning that this was trash

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Anon Says The N-Word | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a dirty Snitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 No.794842283 >be me >beta jew >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in our area 191 KB JPG >smart, charismatic, basically a god >start to get p----- off and jealous of him >find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs >decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together >he says he knows there's a snitch in the friend group >oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty >w-- >feel really guilty and try to return my reward >cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt >three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god >mfw i snitched on god
: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 No.794842283 >be me >beta jew >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in our area 191 KB JPG >smart, charismatic, basically a god >start to get p----- off and jealous of him >find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs >decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together >he says he knows there's a snitch in the friend group >oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty >w-- >feel really guilty and try to return my reward >cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt >three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god >mfw i snitched on god

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Anon treated himself to a nice purchase | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:46:28 No.63870107 >bought silicone sex doll >delivery company didn't bring it at my door >have to pick it up from postal office few kilometers away from my apartment >don't have drivers license/car >have to ask my mom to give me 137 KB JPG a drive What would be good cover story for huge box? Something uninteresting as possible. : Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:47:59 No.63870124 : Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:48:07 No.63870126 >>63870107 (OP) # You bought horse dildos : Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:48:47 No.63870136 Just get a f------ taxi, dude.
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:46:28 No.63870107 >bought silicone sex doll >delivery company didn't bring it at my door >have to pick it up from postal office few kilometers away from my apartment >don't have drivers license/car >have to ask my mom to give me 137 KB JPG a drive What would be good cover story for huge box? Something uninteresting as possible. : Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:47:59 No.63870124 : Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:48:07 No.63870126 >>63870107 (OP) # You bought horse dildos : Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:48:47 No.63870136 Just get a f------ taxi, dude.

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Anon needs recommendations | /r/Greentext

MAX PAYNE I just finished Max Payne, recommend me similar games DAnonymous 05/26/21(Wed)04:13:30 Jo.556961373 D max payne 2
MAX PAYNE I just finished Max Payne, recommend me similar games DAnonymous 05/26/21(Wed)04:13:30 Jo.556961373 D max payne 2

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Anon Cucks himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)19:18:00 No.753951070 Did I just cuck myself? >went to store 1 hour before closing >gather my s--- and head to the checkout 278 KB JPG >cashier solid 7/10 >start casual conversation about assholes who come in 5 mintues before closing, and about our non-existent weekend plans >payed and about head out >she says "you know, my shift is almost done" >me "alright! have a good weekend, bye!" Pic unrelated
: Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)19:18:00 No.753951070 Did I just cuck myself? >went to store 1 hour before closing >gather my s--- and head to the checkout 278 KB JPG >cashier solid 7/10 >start casual conversation about assholes who come in 5 mintues before closing, and about our non-existent weekend plans >payed and about head out >she says "you know, my shift is almost done" >me "alright! have a good weekend, bye!" Pic unrelated

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Anon gets cucked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)10:03:22 No.855438136 >be me >8 years ago >catfish a guy I know on Facebook >set up a date >l actually show up >see him sitting on a bench >walk up to him >"oh hey anon, what are you doing here?" 102 KB JPG >tell him the girl isn't real >turn around and walk away without saying anything else >we never see each other or talk to each other ever again >ffw 3 years >dude literally f---- my GF as a revenge for the emberassment I caused him >mfw 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)10:03:22 No.855438136 >be me >8 years ago >catfish a guy I know on Facebook >set up a date >l actually show up >see him sitting on a bench >walk up to him >"oh hey anon, what are you doing here?" 102 KB JPG >tell him the girl isn't real >turn around and walk away without saying anything else >we never see each other or talk to each other ever again >ffw 3 years >dude literally f---- my GF as a revenge for the emberassment I caused him >mfw 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is easily amused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/18(Tue)09:43:34 No.4 >game has a toilet >you can flush it 58 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/20/18(Tue)09:43:34 No.4 >game has a toilet >you can flush it 58 KB PNG

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Anon has a hobby | /r/Greentext


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Story of my life | /r/Greentext


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Anon finds his wallet | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 41973641 27 min. ago >christmas cleaning >going through my stuff at home >find my old wallet >take out something from it >it is a condom >remember I put it there when I turned 15 "because I will need it soon" 450.9 kB PNG >look at the back side >it's expiring next year >l just turned 20
Anonymous | 41973641 27 min. ago >christmas cleaning >going through my stuff at home >find my old wallet >take out something from it >it is a condom >remember I put it there when I turned 15 "because I will need it soon" 450.9 kB PNG >look at the back side >it's expiring next year >l just turned 20

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Anon is a pirate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Anon is living the dream but with a twist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)15:18:16 No.63866552 >"Anon... I-I just want you to know that I have always felt this way about you. I've been watching you for so long, and wanted you so bad, I can't stand it anymore. I can't keep it to myself. I want to scream to the world how much you mean to me. I want to shout from the rooftops how you make me feel. Every day, you make my heart skip, and brighten my day. Every time l'm with you, I walk away with a kick in my heel, and a boost in my confidence; like I can take on the whole world. 89 KB PNG Even at the worst times, there's never a dull moment with you. I feel things that I don't about anyone else. And I felt it for so long, so agonisingly, I'm more than certain it's meant to be. I love you, Anon. And want you ways I can't find the words for." (unrobes) What did big sis mean by this?
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)15:18:16 No.63866552 >"Anon... I-I just want you to know that I have always felt this way about you. I've been watching you for so long, and wanted you so bad, I can't stand it anymore. I can't keep it to myself. I want to scream to the world how much you mean to me. I want to shout from the rooftops how you make me feel. Every day, you make my heart skip, and brighten my day. Every time l'm with you, I walk away with a kick in my heel, and a boost in my confidence; like I can take on the whole world. 89 KB PNG Even at the worst times, there's never a dull moment with you. I feel things that I don't about anyone else. And I felt it for so long, so agonisingly, I'm more than certain it's meant to be. I love you, Anon. And want you ways I can't find the words for." (unrobes) What did big sis mean by this?

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anon is a schizo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)00:40:14 No.151447399 >went to the movies for the first time in more than a year >actor stops saying his lines >looks directly at me >starts saying my name, address and ssn >everyone in the theater looks at me and starts laughing I'm never going back to a theater again >>151448033 # >>151448884 #
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)00:40:14 No.151447399 >went to the movies for the first time in more than a year >actor stops saying his lines >looks directly at me >starts saying my name, address and ssn >everyone in the theater looks at me and starts laughing I'm never going back to a theater again >>151448033 # >>151448884 #

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