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Anon is looking like a serial killer | /r/Greentext

Im going to die alone and theres nothing i can do >be me Odontwant to teel that feel anymore >ugly af and im always wearing a hoodie and looking like a serial killer 10 KB JPG >be evening >im walking home >see two girls and were going to cross road >fall slightly behind them >it just happend to be that we were heading the same way >theyre whispering and one of them is constantly turning around >after 10 min of following i turn to the gates of my home >see one of the girls spook the other one by going behind her and grabing her I mean that was just cruel and needless...
Im going to die alone and theres nothing i can do >be me Odontwant to teel that feel anymore >ugly af and im always wearing a hoodie and looking like a serial killer 10 KB JPG >be evening >im walking home >see two girls and were going to cross road >fall slightly behind them >it just happend to be that we were heading the same way >theyre whispering and one of them is constantly turning around >after 10 min of following i turn to the gates of my home >see one of the girls spook the other one by going behind her and grabing her I mean that was just cruel and needless...

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Anon is a chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Epic recovery 05/27/21(Thu)21:00:16 No.63871002 >be me >work at the news-stand >not a lot of space so the air flow is quite bad >just vibin >about to fart 62 KB JPG >don't want to fart inside because of bad air circulation. >idea >open the door, stick my ass out and make a nice fardd >then i remember i need to put newspapers inside if it rains >check the sky to see if it is about to rain >two guys leaning on the wall, smoking cigs looking at me horrified >they were minding their own buissines when suddenly a random ass emerged from the wall beside them and toot in their face >we are looking at each other speechless >look to the sky again >"looks like its about to thunder boys" >close the doors and leave >see them quickly walking away through the window >Imao
: Anonymous Epic recovery 05/27/21(Thu)21:00:16 No.63871002 >be me >work at the news-stand >not a lot of space so the air flow is quite bad >just vibin >about to fart 62 KB JPG >don't want to fart inside because of bad air circulation. >idea >open the door, stick my ass out and make a nice fardd >then i remember i need to put newspapers inside if it rains >check the sky to see if it is about to rain >two guys leaning on the wall, smoking cigs looking at me horrified >they were minding their own buissines when suddenly a random ass emerged from the wall beside them and toot in their face >we are looking at each other speechless >look to the sky again >"looks like its about to thunder boys" >close the doors and leave >see them quickly walking away through the window >Imao

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Anon jacks off | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 48906634 36 min. ago >be me >be 15 >hear that only 14yo girls say oof >say oof >im basically a girl now >j------- >say oof again which means that im a guy again since the two oofs cancel each other out 123.2 kB JPG >basically got jacked off by a girl >basically had sex See ya later virgins REPLY Anonymous | 48906721 28 min. ago >be 15 Thanks for letting me know right at the beginning that this was trash
Anonymous | 48906634 36 min. ago >be me >be 15 >hear that only 14yo girls say oof >say oof >im basically a girl now >j------- >say oof again which means that im a guy again since the two oofs cancel each other out 123.2 kB JPG >basically got jacked off by a girl >basically had sex See ya later virgins REPLY Anonymous | 48906721 28 min. ago >be 15 Thanks for letting me know right at the beginning that this was trash

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Anon Says The N-Word | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a dirty Snitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 No.794842283 >be me >beta jew >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in our area 191 KB JPG >smart, charismatic, basically a god >start to get p----- off and jealous of him >find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs >decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together >he says he knows there's a snitch in the friend group >oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty >w-- >feel really guilty and try to return my reward >cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt >three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god >mfw i snitched on god
: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 No.794842283 >be me >beta jew >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in our area 191 KB JPG >smart, charismatic, basically a god >start to get p----- off and jealous of him >find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs >decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together >he says he knows there's a snitch in the friend group >oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty >w-- >feel really guilty and try to return my reward >cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt >three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god >mfw i snitched on god

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Anon treated himself to a nice purchase | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:46:28 No.63870107 >bought silicone sex doll >delivery company didn't bring it at my door >have to pick it up from postal office few kilometers away from my apartment >don't have drivers license/car >have to ask my mom to give me 137 KB JPG a drive What would be good cover story for huge box? Something uninteresting as possible. : Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:47:59 No.63870124 : Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:48:07 No.63870126 >>63870107 (OP) # You bought horse dildos : Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:48:47 No.63870136 Just get a f------ taxi, dude.
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:46:28 No.63870107 >bought silicone sex doll >delivery company didn't bring it at my door >have to pick it up from postal office few kilometers away from my apartment >don't have drivers license/car >have to ask my mom to give me 137 KB JPG a drive What would be good cover story for huge box? Something uninteresting as possible. : Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:47:59 No.63870124 : Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:48:07 No.63870126 >>63870107 (OP) # You bought horse dildos : Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)19:48:47 No.63870136 Just get a f------ taxi, dude.

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Anon needs recommendations | /r/Greentext

MAX PAYNE I just finished Max Payne, recommend me similar games DAnonymous 05/26/21(Wed)04:13:30 Jo.556961373 D max payne 2
MAX PAYNE I just finished Max Payne, recommend me similar games DAnonymous 05/26/21(Wed)04:13:30 Jo.556961373 D max payne 2

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Anon Cucks himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)19:18:00 No.753951070 Did I just cuck myself? >went to store 1 hour before closing >gather my s--- and head to the checkout 278 KB JPG >cashier solid 7/10 >start casual conversation about assholes who come in 5 mintues before closing, and about our non-existent weekend plans >payed and about head out >she says "you know, my shift is almost done" >me "alright! have a good weekend, bye!" Pic unrelated
: Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)19:18:00 No.753951070 Did I just cuck myself? >went to store 1 hour before closing >gather my s--- and head to the checkout 278 KB JPG >cashier solid 7/10 >start casual conversation about assholes who come in 5 mintues before closing, and about our non-existent weekend plans >payed and about head out >she says "you know, my shift is almost done" >me "alright! have a good weekend, bye!" Pic unrelated

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Anon gets cucked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)10:03:22 No.855438136 >be me >8 years ago >catfish a guy I know on Facebook >set up a date >l actually show up >see him sitting on a bench >walk up to him >"oh hey anon, what are you doing here?" 102 KB JPG >tell him the girl isn't real >turn around and walk away without saying anything else >we never see each other or talk to each other ever again >ffw 3 years >dude literally f---- my GF as a revenge for the emberassment I caused him >mfw 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)10:03:22 No.855438136 >be me >8 years ago >catfish a guy I know on Facebook >set up a date >l actually show up >see him sitting on a bench >walk up to him >"oh hey anon, what are you doing here?" 102 KB JPG >tell him the girl isn't real >turn around and walk away without saying anything else >we never see each other or talk to each other ever again >ffw 3 years >dude literally f---- my GF as a revenge for the emberassment I caused him >mfw 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is easily amused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/18(Tue)09:43:34 No.4 >game has a toilet >you can flush it 58 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/20/18(Tue)09:43:34 No.4 >game has a toilet >you can flush it 58 KB PNG

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Anon has a hobby | /r/Greentext


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Story of my life | /r/Greentext


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Anon finds his wallet | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 41973641 27 min. ago >christmas cleaning >going through my stuff at home >find my old wallet >take out something from it >it is a condom >remember I put it there when I turned 15 "because I will need it soon" 450.9 kB PNG >look at the back side >it's expiring next year >l just turned 20
Anonymous | 41973641 27 min. ago >christmas cleaning >going through my stuff at home >find my old wallet >take out something from it >it is a condom >remember I put it there when I turned 15 "because I will need it soon" 450.9 kB PNG >look at the back side >it's expiring next year >l just turned 20

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Anon is a pirate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Anon is living the dream but with a twist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)15:18:16 No.63866552 >"Anon... I-I just want you to know that I have always felt this way about you. I've been watching you for so long, and wanted you so bad, I can't stand it anymore. I can't keep it to myself. I want to scream to the world how much you mean to me. I want to shout from the rooftops how you make me feel. Every day, you make my heart skip, and brighten my day. Every time l'm with you, I walk away with a kick in my heel, and a boost in my confidence; like I can take on the whole world. 89 KB PNG Even at the worst times, there's never a dull moment with you. I feel things that I don't about anyone else. And I felt it for so long, so agonisingly, I'm more than certain it's meant to be. I love you, Anon. And want you ways I can't find the words for." (unrobes) What did big sis mean by this?
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)15:18:16 No.63866552 >"Anon... I-I just want you to know that I have always felt this way about you. I've been watching you for so long, and wanted you so bad, I can't stand it anymore. I can't keep it to myself. I want to scream to the world how much you mean to me. I want to shout from the rooftops how you make me feel. Every day, you make my heart skip, and brighten my day. Every time l'm with you, I walk away with a kick in my heel, and a boost in my confidence; like I can take on the whole world. 89 KB PNG Even at the worst times, there's never a dull moment with you. I feel things that I don't about anyone else. And I felt it for so long, so agonisingly, I'm more than certain it's meant to be. I love you, Anon. And want you ways I can't find the words for." (unrobes) What did big sis mean by this?

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anon is a schizo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)00:40:14 No.151447399 >went to the movies for the first time in more than a year >actor stops saying his lines >looks directly at me >starts saying my name, address and ssn >everyone in the theater looks at me and starts laughing I'm never going back to a theater again >>151448033 # >>151448884 #
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)00:40:14 No.151447399 >went to the movies for the first time in more than a year >actor stops saying his lines >looks directly at me >starts saying my name, address and ssn >everyone in the theater looks at me and starts laughing I'm never going back to a theater again >>151448033 # >>151448884 #

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Anons are Geography majors | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)21:09:37 No.129854915 >Georgia? Thats a state not a country its capital is Atlanta bro 480 KB PNG 109/03/20(Thu)21:15:14 No.129855092 >Turkey? Thats a bird not a country its origin is America bro 191 KB PNG : Anonymous I-09/03/20(Thu)21:17:11 No.129855149 >Hungary? No, I just ate
: Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)21:09:37 No.129854915 >Georgia? Thats a state not a country its capital is Atlanta bro 480 KB PNG 109/03/20(Thu)21:15:14 No.129855092 >Turkey? Thats a bird not a country its origin is America bro 191 KB PNG : Anonymous I-09/03/20(Thu)21:17:11 No.129855149 >Hungary? No, I just ate

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Anon protects his gold | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:42:43 No.63862155 >be me >At home >Checking on massive pile of gold in basement >Gold is hidden in a vault >Intruder alarms go off >Someone's approaching my house 29 KB JPG >Run upstairs to see people walking through my front yard >They must be here for my gold >Activate traps >Sprinkles shower intruders in gasoline >Throw a single match at them >They burst in flames >They're approaching the backyard >Climb the giant wall I built to see them trying to climb it >Pour boiling water over the side and listen as their skin fuses together >They're retreating >Victory is mine >They'll never get my gold I still don't know who the IRS is but l'll protect my wealth to the death
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:42:43 No.63862155 >be me >At home >Checking on massive pile of gold in basement >Gold is hidden in a vault >Intruder alarms go off >Someone's approaching my house 29 KB JPG >Run upstairs to see people walking through my front yard >They must be here for my gold >Activate traps >Sprinkles shower intruders in gasoline >Throw a single match at them >They burst in flames >They're approaching the backyard >Climb the giant wall I built to see them trying to climb it >Pour boiling water over the side and listen as their skin fuses together >They're retreating >Victory is mine >They'll never get my gold I still don't know who the IRS is but l'll protect my wealth to the death

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Anon in class | /r/Greentext

1. #62546757 9/21/17, 12:00 >be in class >everyone using gay ass laptops >smirk >pull on my fingerless hacking gloves >put on my anti-glare sunglasses >pull my fedora a little lower >crack my knuckles >actually only two of them can crack >l'm not sure why, I think it's genetic >rearrange the tails of my duster trenchcoat >pull my alienware tower from under the table >it makes a big thump when I put it on the tabletop >sorry >turn it on >fans start blowing all those goofy laptop user's gay papers everywhere >plug in my cherry blue keyswitch mechanical >start typing >teacher has to raise voice to be heard >everyone whispering and 'mirin my rig >somehow security finds out I'm not a registered student >get escorted out
1. #62546757 9/21/17, 12:00 >be in class >everyone using gay ass laptops >smirk >pull on my fingerless hacking gloves >put on my anti-glare sunglasses >pull my fedora a little lower >crack my knuckles >actually only two of them can crack >l'm not sure why, I think it's genetic >rearrange the tails of my duster trenchcoat >pull my alienware tower from under the table >it makes a big thump when I put it on the tabletop >sorry >turn it on >fans start blowing all those goofy laptop user's gay papers everywhere >plug in my cherry blue keyswitch mechanical >start typing >teacher has to raise voice to be heard >everyone whispering and 'mirin my rig >somehow security finds out I'm not a registered student >get escorted out

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Anon goes on a 13$ flight trip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)05:00:36 No.2023204 Retarded stories thread /trv/ edition >be me >have to use plane to get to family gathering >buy the cheapest flight I can >13 dollar round trip flight 14 KB JPG >too good to be true >spirit airlines always flys cheap never seen it this cheap tho >day of flight >flight attendant tells me "take a seat hon" >me being a gen 5 retard sees a flirting opportunity >try to lift up seat >say "it's mine to keep right?" >all 3 seats in row f------ collapse >there is people in them >the chairs that collapsed fall into the row behind >there is people in those too >MFW >silence as entire plane stares at me >People start chattering >I quickly say >"I can't even lift 50 pounds those seats were bunk" >greasy guy in the back yells "THE FLIGHT WAS 13 DOLLARS PEOPLE WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" >chattering stops > flight attendant calls me a retard and gets a power tool and some bolts from the back of the plane >fixes the seats in like 2 minutes
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)05:00:36 No.2023204 Retarded stories thread /trv/ edition >be me >have to use plane to get to family gathering >buy the cheapest flight I can >13 dollar round trip flight 14 KB JPG >too good to be true >spirit airlines always flys cheap never seen it this cheap tho >day of flight >flight attendant tells me "take a seat hon" >me being a gen 5 retard sees a flirting opportunity >try to lift up seat >say "it's mine to keep right?" >all 3 seats in row f------ collapse >there is people in them >the chairs that collapsed fall into the row behind >there is people in those too >MFW >silence as entire plane stares at me >People start chattering >I quickly say >"I can't even lift 50 pounds those seats were bunk" >greasy guy in the back yells "THE FLIGHT WAS 13 DOLLARS PEOPLE WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" >chattering stops > flight attendant calls me a retard and gets a power tool and some bolts from the back of the plane >fixes the seats in like 2 minutes

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