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Anon is a fish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)01:58:06 No.63859086 >be me >16 at the time >long and ridiculously corny romantic history with tall bisexual qt >ask her if she wants to date >she says yes 193 KB JPG >ffw 2 weeks >"I just don't think I'm ready for a relationship anon." >ffw several months >retarted chirstian summer camp I was forced to go to >goth qt and i start talking >sneak out and sleep on the beach one night >start dating >ffw next week, when I get home from camp >"I'm sorry anon, but I don't think a relationship is right for me right now" >ffw another half of a year >this time, a qt asks me out >say yes, known her for a while and have been good friends | >ffw 2 days >"I really like you anon, but I just can't do it" Mfw I'm like a fish I start to stink after 3 days
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)01:58:06 No.63859086 >be me >16 at the time >long and ridiculously corny romantic history with tall bisexual qt >ask her if she wants to date >she says yes 193 KB JPG >ffw 2 weeks >"I just don't think I'm ready for a relationship anon." >ffw several months >retarted chirstian summer camp I was forced to go to >goth qt and i start talking >sneak out and sleep on the beach one night >start dating >ffw next week, when I get home from camp >"I'm sorry anon, but I don't think a relationship is right for me right now" >ffw another half of a year >this time, a qt asks me out >say yes, known her for a while and have been good friends | >ffw 2 days >"I really like you anon, but I just can't do it" Mfw I'm like a fish I start to stink after 3 days

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Anon Loses An Argument | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 47733285 1 hr. ac >l just lost an argument in my head against a person that doesn't even exist >l even stuttered 48.1 kB PNG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES
Anonymous | 47733285 1 hr. ac >l just lost an argument in my head against a person that doesn't even exist >l even stuttered 48.1 kB PNG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES

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anon tries the tendies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)11:25:21 No.855363783 >be me 5 years ago >get stye >nobigdeal.png >havent cut my hair in awhile and am all around a mess at this age 11 KB JPG >still a normie but an unkempt one >parents decide to have lunch at bar/grill >hair is a mess so i throw on the nearest hat and call it a day >its a fedora >qt waitress asks what drink i want >dont make direct eye contact so she cant see my stye and say “just a coke ma'am" >she brings our drinks and ask if were ready to order >i look through the menu and my fedora whispers into my ear “tendies" >i decide to humor the fedora >"ill have the tendies" >realization.png >i just wore a fedora and ordered tendies without making eye contact with the waitress >mfw i look like a redditfag in front of my family >mfw i have to take psych meds because nobody believes the fedora told me to order the tendies guess ill just kill myself now
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)11:25:21 No.855363783 >be me 5 years ago >get stye >nobigdeal.png >havent cut my hair in awhile and am all around a mess at this age 11 KB JPG >still a normie but an unkempt one >parents decide to have lunch at bar/grill >hair is a mess so i throw on the nearest hat and call it a day >its a fedora >qt waitress asks what drink i want >dont make direct eye contact so she cant see my stye and say “just a coke ma'am" >she brings our drinks and ask if were ready to order >i look through the menu and my fedora whispers into my ear “tendies" >i decide to humor the fedora >"ill have the tendies" >realization.png >i just wore a fedora and ordered tendies without making eye contact with the waitress >mfw i look like a redditfag in front of my family >mfw i have to take psych meds because nobody believes the fedora told me to order the tendies guess ill just kill myself now

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Anon le Français | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 52818309 4 min. ago >visit france >they use "le" unironically 416.0 kB PNG
Anonymous | 52818309 4 min. ago >visit france >they use "le" unironically 416.0 kB PNG

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Anon is a doctor.thhis | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectiy with no mistakes everyone thanks god
Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectiy with no mistakes everyone thanks god

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Anon didn't know | /r/Greentext

greentext @rgreentext · 12h anon watches twitch bit.ly/2F2RFHS : Anonymous 01/01/19(Tue)23:42:08 No.788859723 >be me >depressed because dad is cheating on mom >mom mad all the time >friends feel distant >watch some smash bros on twitch 338 KB PNG >find zero >he makes me laugh and is really good >he makes me happy >thanks zero 27 27 224 2.8K Tempo ZeRo @zerowondering Follow Replying to @rgreentext Much love anon. Hope it gets better and l'm sorry you are going through that. 7:06 AM - 2 Jan 2019 73 Retweets 1,678 Likes 27 73 1.7K
greentext @rgreentext · 12h anon watches twitch bit.ly/2F2RFHS : Anonymous 01/01/19(Tue)23:42:08 No.788859723 >be me >depressed because dad is cheating on mom >mom mad all the time >friends feel distant >watch some smash bros on twitch 338 KB PNG >find zero >he makes me laugh and is really good >he makes me happy >thanks zero 27 27 224 2.8K Tempo ZeRo @zerowondering Follow Replying to @rgreentext Much love anon. Hope it gets better and l'm sorry you are going through that. 7:06 AM - 2 Jan 2019 73 Retweets 1,678 Likes 27 73 1.7K

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Anon works at a club | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)16:05:21 No.776783830 Interesting stories? >work as barista at club >19yo eurofag, drinking age 18 here >150 people, big majority are underaged >theres this pipe in the ceiling that's like 7- 8 feet off the ground in one corner, a 234 KB JPG manlet can reach it >14-16yo druggie delinquents dancing like apes >one of them accidentally hits pipe >pipe disconnects from wall, hits another kid in the head >same kid turns around and punches first guy behind him >fight erupts, more idiots join in >shitstorm.mp4 >20 kids f------ fist fighting for a good 5 minutes, music stops >at one point they stop and realize the pipe started the brawl >they tell DJ everything is OK >music starts again, party continues >all of them continue dancing like nothing happened >mfw witnessing all that happen from behind the bar f------ slav parties man
: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)16:05:21 No.776783830 Interesting stories? >work as barista at club >19yo eurofag, drinking age 18 here >150 people, big majority are underaged >theres this pipe in the ceiling that's like 7- 8 feet off the ground in one corner, a 234 KB JPG manlet can reach it >14-16yo druggie delinquents dancing like apes >one of them accidentally hits pipe >pipe disconnects from wall, hits another kid in the head >same kid turns around and punches first guy behind him >fight erupts, more idiots join in >shitstorm.mp4 >20 kids f------ fist fighting for a good 5 minutes, music stops >at one point they stop and realize the pipe started the brawl >they tell DJ everything is OK >music starts again, party continues >all of them continue dancing like nothing happened >mfw witnessing all that happen from behind the bar f------ slav parties man

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Anon develops a fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/20(Fri)12:47:58 No.56308909 >gf admitted she had a foot fetish a few months ago and gets turned on by me worshipping her feet >had always made fun of foot fetishists, it never once turned me on 114 KB JPG >indulge her at the time because why not, doesn't hurt me >fast forward 2 months >get instant boners when she takes her socks off and puts her feet in my lap now What have I become
: Anonymous 01/17/20(Fri)12:47:58 No.56308909 >gf admitted she had a foot fetish a few months ago and gets turned on by me worshipping her feet >had always made fun of foot fetishists, it never once turned me on 114 KB JPG >indulge her at the time because why not, doesn't hurt me >fast forward 2 months >get instant boners when she takes her socks off and puts her feet in my lap now What have I become

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Anon and His Horse-Like Antics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)03:11:00 No.853300986 >be me >learn that horses smack their cocks against their stomachs to get off >try it myself >pretty easy with my 16 inch SJW beater >go on for an hour >sounds like blacks beating their drums >can be heard over a half a mile radius 96 KB JPG >c-- gallons >be you >can't smack their cocks against their stomachs >beta bitch : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)03:28:09 No.853301834 >>853300986 (OP) # >c--- in own face >"yeah, this will show them"
: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)03:11:00 No.853300986 >be me >learn that horses smack their cocks against their stomachs to get off >try it myself >pretty easy with my 16 inch SJW beater >go on for an hour >sounds like blacks beating their drums >can be heard over a half a mile radius 96 KB JPG >c-- gallons >be you >can't smack their cocks against their stomachs >beta bitch : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)03:28:09 No.853301834 >>853300986 (OP) # >c--- in own face >"yeah, this will show them"

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Anon’s crush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:41:35 No.855368716 Neuron activation >be me >be 10 >school field trip >girl I really like sits next to me >not much later she's leaning on Monkey sees action my trying to sleep >thisisit.jpg 89 KB JPG >skip 3 more years >ask about the trip >truth is anon, I actually also really liked you >we cuddle for the rest of the day She dumps me next day because she's not ready for a relationships yet" and now she's asexual. | Where did I go wrong?
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:41:35 No.855368716 Neuron activation >be me >be 10 >school field trip >girl I really like sits next to me >not much later she's leaning on Monkey sees action my trying to sleep >thisisit.jpg 89 KB JPG >skip 3 more years >ask about the trip >truth is anon, I actually also really liked you >we cuddle for the rest of the day She dumps me next day because she's not ready for a relationships yet" and now she's asexual. | Where did I go wrong?

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Anon gets free food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/24/21 (Mon)03:02:46 No.16161780 >walk into chipotle >pick up random online order >walk out Filling, nutritious free food Gdreomstime.com 256 KB JPG 16 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)07:29:51 No.16163022 Don't mind me bro just pirating this order.
: Anonymous 05/24/21 (Mon)03:02:46 No.16161780 >walk into chipotle >pick up random online order >walk out Filling, nutritious free food Gdreomstime.com 256 KB JPG 16 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)07:29:51 No.16163022 Don't mind me bro just pirating this order.

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Anon tries to be cool | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears
O Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

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Anon kills people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)12:02:13 No.63854803 >be me >Doesn't like it when people take my things away >Have been like that since I was a child >Hanging out with gf >She's about to have sex with me 5 KB JPG >Have never had sex before >She unzips my pants >Suddenly realize she's trying to take my virginity >Beat her to a pulp cause she's taking something from me >She's dead >Curl up in the corner >Cops come and try to get me out of the room >Cop reaches for my hand >He's trying to take my hand >Unleash a blinding rage and kill him >Other cop starts shooting >He's trying to take my life >Proceed to murder him too >Escape to woods with bullet wounds >Never heard from again They'll never take me alive
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)12:02:13 No.63854803 >be me >Doesn't like it when people take my things away >Have been like that since I was a child >Hanging out with gf >She's about to have sex with me 5 KB JPG >Have never had sex before >She unzips my pants >Suddenly realize she's trying to take my virginity >Beat her to a pulp cause she's taking something from me >She's dead >Curl up in the corner >Cops come and try to get me out of the room >Cop reaches for my hand >He's trying to take my hand >Unleash a blinding rage and kill him >Other cop starts shooting >He's trying to take my life >Proceed to murder him too >Escape to woods with bullet wounds >Never heard from again They'll never take me alive

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Anon lost in champ select | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)21:56:37 No.853113093 >be me >born virgin It was rigged from the start 1.46 MB PNG 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)21:56:37 No.853113093 >be me >born virgin It was rigged from the start 1.46 MB PNG 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon vomits | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous give me some retarted stories 12/01/18(Sat)08:34:00 No.49598590 >its late at night >two of my friends are in a discord call egging me on >mix a bucnh of chemicals together with a crap ton of food dye >soap, detergent, even industrial paint thinner 257 KB JPG >for the final touch i piss in it >take a tiny sip >vomit.zip >pic related 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)08:41:39 No.49598645 Wow. You truly are a retard.
: Anonymous give me some retarted stories 12/01/18(Sat)08:34:00 No.49598590 >its late at night >two of my friends are in a discord call egging me on >mix a bucnh of chemicals together with a crap ton of food dye >soap, detergent, even industrial paint thinner 257 KB JPG >for the final touch i piss in it >take a tiny sip >vomit.zip >pic related 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)08:41:39 No.49598645 Wow. You truly are a retard.

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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:26:03 No.855336649 >be me >based CEO of Based 11 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:27:31 No.855336722 >>855336649 (OP) # Wow, pretty based.
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:26:03 No.855336649 >be me >based CEO of Based 11 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:27:31 No.855336722 >>855336649 (OP) # Wow, pretty based.

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God doesn’t like Anon | /r/Greentext

>make fun of cripples on the internet for years >god probably didn't like it cause my son was born crippled >continue to make fun of 15 KB JPG cripples regardless you can't outsmart me, old fella
>make fun of cripples on the internet for years >god probably didn't like it cause my son was born crippled >continue to make fun of 15 KB JPG cripples regardless you can't outsmart me, old fella

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Anon is a true hero | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)21:46:25 No.855291105 >be me >just got out of military >at beach with gf >we have a big inflatable floaty thing takes like 20 mins to blow up >be chilling in the sand random lady and kid ask to use floaty 13 KB JPG >gf says sure. >they float off and like 5 mins later fall off and start drowning >hear screams and no one helps them >say f--- it >swim out and save a mom,kid and the floaty. ff 30 mins >gf laying on floaty in water >fat n----- kid starts f------ with her >get up and March out to water >tell n----- I will kill him and his family if he doesnt stop messing with her >kid runs off 10mins later the whole monkey family shows up. Huge fat black dude 250lbs and same for ape wife >OH S--- my ass is grass >chimps ask if I said mean things to monkey child. >deny it all >lie my ass off that I told him to leave my gf alone to stop messing with her. >monkeys mom freaks out starts beating the kids ass >tell me they are sorry and leave >saved lives and ruined a black kids. >be real American hero
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)21:46:25 No.855291105 >be me >just got out of military >at beach with gf >we have a big inflatable floaty thing takes like 20 mins to blow up >be chilling in the sand random lady and kid ask to use floaty 13 KB JPG >gf says sure. >they float off and like 5 mins later fall off and start drowning >hear screams and no one helps them >say f--- it >swim out and save a mom,kid and the floaty. ff 30 mins >gf laying on floaty in water >fat n----- kid starts f------ with her >get up and March out to water >tell n----- I will kill him and his family if he doesnt stop messing with her >kid runs off 10mins later the whole monkey family shows up. Huge fat black dude 250lbs and same for ape wife >OH S--- my ass is grass >chimps ask if I said mean things to monkey child. >deny it all >lie my ass off that I told him to leave my gf alone to stop messing with her. >monkeys mom freaks out starts beating the kids ass >tell me they are sorry and leave >saved lives and ruined a black kids. >be real American hero

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Anon makes fun of americans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous II 04/21/19(Sun)00:29:50 No.104521401 >Americans don't celebrate Easter because they don't want to hear about someone that recovered for free 88 KB GIF : Anonymous . 04/21/19(Sun)00:32:19 No.104521453 F--- YOU
: Anonymous II 04/21/19(Sun)00:29:50 No.104521401 >Americans don't celebrate Easter because they don't want to hear about someone that recovered for free 88 KB GIF : Anonymous . 04/21/19(Sun)00:32:19 No.104521453 F--- YOU

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Anon finds the gamer juice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous cringe stories thread 05/26/21(Wed)04:57:09 No.63848890 Thtok >be me >leave factory shift a few hours ago >walk to truck >get in and start it up >say loudly "LETS OPEN UP SOME GAMER JUICE AND F------ 1.82 MB WEBM GAME" as i reach for a bottle of water >forget that my door was open >realize a few of my coworkers are standing a few metres away talking >drive away as fast as possible
: Anonymous cringe stories thread 05/26/21(Wed)04:57:09 No.63848890 Thtok >be me >leave factory shift a few hours ago >walk to truck >get in and start it up >say loudly "LETS OPEN UP SOME GAMER JUICE AND F------ 1.82 MB WEBM GAME" as i reach for a bottle of water >forget that my door was open >realize a few of my coworkers are standing a few metres away talking >drive away as fast as possible

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