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Anon uses tinder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)22:46:08 No.842434393 >download tinder >every girl looks about the same >they all have stupid bios >every match I get acts like they're too good for me > finally have enough of the b------- >start trolling for the fun of it seeing 267 KB PNG as I got nowhere before >act like a complete a------ >put pics up of me in my buddies C63 AMG >pictures of me leaning on the car etc >put job down as lawyer >lie saying I live in a rich neighborhood >post pics of a random pool with a view >start matching like crazy >girls message me first everytime >a lot asking about the car >be a d--- and tell them their t--- aren't big enough to ride in it they aren't pretty enough to be seen in it etc. >a lot of them respond with lols and laughing emojis remaining friendly >tell me how funny I am >some offer to suck my d---/ f--- me in the car or by "my pool" >realize how awesome life could be if I had money >get depressed >realize what a loser I am >this back fired tremendously
: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)22:46:08 No.842434393 >download tinder >every girl looks about the same >they all have stupid bios >every match I get acts like they're too good for me > finally have enough of the b------- >start trolling for the fun of it seeing 267 KB PNG as I got nowhere before >act like a complete a------ >put pics up of me in my buddies C63 AMG >pictures of me leaning on the car etc >put job down as lawyer >lie saying I live in a rich neighborhood >post pics of a random pool with a view >start matching like crazy >girls message me first everytime >a lot asking about the car >be a d--- and tell them their t--- aren't big enough to ride in it they aren't pretty enough to be seen in it etc. >a lot of them respond with lols and laughing emojis remaining friendly >tell me how funny I am >some offer to suck my d---/ f--- me in the car or by "my pool" >realize how awesome life could be if I had money >get depressed >realize what a loser I am >this back fired tremendously

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Anon had a thot mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon is Palestinian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)12:14:42 No.855263869 >be me NR >palestinian >see some army bois up on hill 30 KB JPG >dying of thirst bc it's the f------ desert >hopefully they'll help me >die >not from thirst.
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)12:14:42 No.855263869 >be me NR >palestinian >see some army bois up on hill 30 KB JPG >dying of thirst bc it's the f------ desert >hopefully they'll help me >die >not from thirst.

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Anon likes ribs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)14:51:13 No.855269275 >be me >eating ribs at 8 in the morning >be you >not eating ribs at 8 in the morning Why live? 69 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)14:51:13 No.855269275 >be me >eating ribs at 8 in the morning >be you >not eating ribs at 8 in the morning Why live? 69 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon runs. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)17:30:26 No.855269660 >be me >Autistic, kissless virgin 18y/o >Decide to lose virginity >Find a h----- >F---- her >Tried a---, felt weird. >Me and h----- finished f------ 21 KB JPG >She went to the toilet to clean up >Laying down on bed while rubbing c--- >Toilet door opened >Saw h-----'s body on floor with blood >Heard small giggle >Deep, hoarse voice >S--- >The r--- dwarf have arrived. >Run.
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)17:30:26 No.855269660 >be me >Autistic, kissless virgin 18y/o >Decide to lose virginity >Find a h----- >F---- her >Tried a---, felt weird. >Me and h----- finished f------ 21 KB JPG >She went to the toilet to clean up >Laying down on bed while rubbing c--- >Toilet door opened >Saw h-----'s body on floor with blood >Heard small giggle >Deep, hoarse voice >S--- >The r--- dwarf have arrived. >Run.

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Femanon regrets her decision | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)13:21:07 No.855266163 >be me, femanon, 19 >thriving off male attention, especially from simps >meet a chubby edgelord, not my type at all >cute though, so funny >"why would a girl like you be into 204 KB JPG someone like me?" >talking for months, I really like him >cut off the simps >commit to him >long term relationship for 4 years >"i'm going to marry you someday, anon" >he cheats >forgive him, get back together >i love him >he cheats again, with a t----- >"i'm pansexual" >they/them pronouns in bio >"would you still love me if I wanted to be a girl" >break up for good this time >suicidal, still love him >he cries in my dms daily >"i'll change for you anon, it'll be different this time" Should've just f----- some chads for the past 4+ years. I would feel as empty as I do now but I would have had better orgasms. You give an ugly guy a chance and this is what they do.
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)13:21:07 No.855266163 >be me, femanon, 19 >thriving off male attention, especially from simps >meet a chubby edgelord, not my type at all >cute though, so funny >"why would a girl like you be into 204 KB JPG someone like me?" >talking for months, I really like him >cut off the simps >commit to him >long term relationship for 4 years >"i'm going to marry you someday, anon" >he cheats >forgive him, get back together >i love him >he cheats again, with a t----- >"i'm pansexual" >they/them pronouns in bio >"would you still love me if I wanted to be a girl" >break up for good this time >suicidal, still love him >he cries in my dms daily >"i'll change for you anon, it'll be different this time" Should've just f----- some chads for the past 4+ years. I would feel as empty as I do now but I would have had better orgasms. You give an ugly guy a chance and this is what they do.

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Polish be like | /r/Greentext


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Anon understands math | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)09:16:12 No.62356259 >read provided course math textbook >be hopelessly confused, not even begin to understand >go to 2 hr class, lose track in 5 minutes 267 KB PNG >go home and copy paste homework instructions into youtube >understand how to do it in 5 minutes
: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)09:16:12 No.62356259 >read provided course math textbook >be hopelessly confused, not even begin to understand >go to 2 hr class, lose track in 5 minutes 267 KB PNG >go home and copy paste homework instructions into youtube >understand how to do it in 5 minutes

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It's 1 year anniversary of george floyd's death | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 04/27/21(Tue)03:00:56 No.63399653 >it's another "waaah I wanna kill myself but it's too hard, someone please tell me the easiest way to commit suicide" thread 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)03:03:23 No.63399677 Just stop breathing f----- 248 KB JPG >>63399724 #
: Anonymous E 04/27/21(Tue)03:00:56 No.63399653 >it's another "waaah I wanna kill myself but it's too hard, someone please tell me the easiest way to commit suicide" thread 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)03:03:23 No.63399677 Just stop breathing f----- 248 KB JPG >>63399724 #

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Anon's motivation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Short greentext story for you (...) 05/25/21(Tue)12:09:11 No.63831544 22.jpg 22 KB JPG >be me >watching p--- where 4 ugly guys f--- 5 attractive japanese girls >think to myself "if they can be so unattractive and f--- attractive girls, so can i" >ffw 2 hours or so >watching video on "signs you're attractive even if you don't think so" >mfw i don't fit into any of their described "signs" >mfw p--- boosted my confidence and a video that was supposed to show me that i'm attractive lowered my confidence
: Anonymous Short greentext story for you (...) 05/25/21(Tue)12:09:11 No.63831544 22.jpg 22 KB JPG >be me >watching p--- where 4 ugly guys f--- 5 attractive japanese girls >think to myself "if they can be so unattractive and f--- attractive girls, so can i" >ffw 2 hours or so >watching video on "signs you're attractive even if you don't think so" >mfw i don't fit into any of their described "signs" >mfw p--- boosted my confidence and a video that was supposed to show me that i'm attractive lowered my confidence

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Anon has a good cousin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)22:38:34 No.63830961 The closest I ever came. >staying the night at my older, big tiddy cousin's house >sleeping in her room >figure l'll be sleeping on the floor >lie on the floor 38 KB JPG >"Anon, what are you doing? You can sleep in my bed with me." >0-ok >get in bed with her >literally cannot sleep unless I j------- >wait for her to fall asleep >silently j------- >about to finish >she reaches over me and grabs a tissue from her night stand >"here" >t-thanks >coom >clean up and throw tissue away >embarrassed for the rest of the night We never talked about it, but her and I were always super close and are still super close.
: Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)22:38:34 No.63830961 The closest I ever came. >staying the night at my older, big tiddy cousin's house >sleeping in her room >figure l'll be sleeping on the floor >lie on the floor 38 KB JPG >"Anon, what are you doing? You can sleep in my bed with me." >0-ok >get in bed with her >literally cannot sleep unless I j------- >wait for her to fall asleep >silently j------- >about to finish >she reaches over me and grabs a tissue from her night stand >"here" >t-thanks >coom >clean up and throw tissue away >embarrassed for the rest of the night We never talked about it, but her and I were always super close and are still super close.

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Anon hates Indians | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)04:55:07 No.63829340 is there anything worse than being indian? >average height is 5'2 >average iq is 80 >average d--- size is 4 inches >lowest rated race on dating sites >horrible english accent >made fun of because street s------ stock www.ahuttermock.com T4B49 26 KB JPG what keeps pajeets alive? 17 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)04:55:07 No.63829340 is there anything worse than being indian? >average height is 5'2 >average iq is 80 >average d--- size is 4 inches >lowest rated race on dating sites >horrible english accent >made fun of because street s------ stock www.ahuttermock.com T4B49 26 KB JPG what keeps pajeets alive? 17 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Atleast he tried | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 minuti fa 44099910 >at the bus stop >its raining >notice qt girl >shes getting drenched >place my umbrella over her >"umm no thanks" >takes five steps back 2 REPLIES
Anonymous 8 minuti fa 44099910 >at the bus stop >its raining >notice qt girl >shes getting drenched >place my umbrella over her >"umm no thanks" >takes five steps back 2 REPLIES

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Anon isn’t very smart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)17:54:17 No.63827970 >be me, 7th grade >get big cut on arm after tripping during recess >about to ask to go to nurse's office >see qt that l'd been crushing on for the whole year 8 KB JPG >decide to let it bleed >12-year-old tard mind thought that it would make me look tough and impress her >end up bleeding all over my arm >people keep telling me to go to the nurse >refuse >everyone thinks that l'm weird and gross for the rest of the year, hear jokes about it until I graduate high school >qt ended up getting with another guy just a week after the incident >mfw I tried to attract a girl by bleeding all over myself, in the process making myself look like a nasty fool to the whole school being autistic is a f------ curse 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)17:54:17 No.63827970 >be me, 7th grade >get big cut on arm after tripping during recess >about to ask to go to nurse's office >see qt that l'd been crushing on for the whole year 8 KB JPG >decide to let it bleed >12-year-old tard mind thought that it would make me look tough and impress her >end up bleeding all over my arm >people keep telling me to go to the nurse >refuse >everyone thinks that l'm weird and gross for the rest of the year, hear jokes about it until I graduate high school >qt ended up getting with another guy just a week after the incident >mfw I tried to attract a girl by bleeding all over myself, in the process making myself look like a nasty fool to the whole school being autistic is a f------ curse 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is in dog-mode | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)04:28:45 No.63829063 >hear car door shut outside in any direction >get up and look out window every single time who else here dog-mode? how the f--- do i stop this nightmare 114 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)04:28:45 No.63829063 >hear car door shut outside in any direction >get up and look out window every single time who else here dog-mode? how the f--- do i stop this nightmare 114 KB PNG

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Anon has a music video idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/11/20(Sat)20:52:44 No.831920423 Music Video idea: >Elmo and Cookie Monster are just chillin >Their d---- are fused together >There's a bunch of kids using said infused d--- like a jump rope 27 KB JPG >this is going on in the background >Big birds also there >And naturally he's wall twerking >Then he does a flip >He proceeds to spread his ass cheeks like elevator doors >Takes giant s--- >But not like no bird s--- I'm talkin like a football sized human s--- >S--- falls to the floor >Big bird picks it up >Realizes if he puts his s--- under his pillow, the poop goblins will take it and give him money >The giant s--- hatches before he can take it >Then I pop out and start rapping
: Anonymous 07/11/20(Sat)20:52:44 No.831920423 Music Video idea: >Elmo and Cookie Monster are just chillin >Their d---- are fused together >There's a bunch of kids using said infused d--- like a jump rope 27 KB JPG >this is going on in the background >Big birds also there >And naturally he's wall twerking >Then he does a flip >He proceeds to spread his ass cheeks like elevator doors >Takes giant s--- >But not like no bird s--- I'm talkin like a football sized human s--- >S--- falls to the floor >Big bird picks it up >Realizes if he puts his s--- under his pillow, the poop goblins will take it and give him money >The giant s--- hatches before he can take it >Then I pop out and start rapping

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Anon doesn't believe in microwaves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)12:04:48 No.849177823 >no fire >spinning plate (???) 107 KB JPG >hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm >beep beep beep beep >food is hot just imagine believing in microwave 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)12:04:48 No.849177823 >no fire >spinning plate (???) 107 KB JPG >hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm >beep beep beep beep >food is hot just imagine believing in microwave 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is a psychopath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)20:54:01 No.16160067 >be me >put hot sauce on a cupcake >friends all look at me like I'm nuts What? It's good 150 KB JPG 8 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)04:10:12 No.16162111 >>16160067 (OP) # how is it good you lying sack of s---
: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)20:54:01 No.16160067 >be me >put hot sauce on a cupcake >friends all look at me like I'm nuts What? It's good 150 KB JPG 8 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)04:10:12 No.16162111 >>16160067 (OP) # how is it good you lying sack of s---

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Anon is a business man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/14/20(Thu)15:56:14 No.507945510 >pirate game >company loses $60 >delete game >company receives back $60 >pirate game 1 million times >company loses $60M and declares bankrupcy >buy company for a few dollars 36 KB JPG and become CEO >delete all the pirated copies >$60M deposited in my account >suddenly CEO of my own game company with millions to make my dream game
: Anonymous 05/14/20(Thu)15:56:14 No.507945510 >pirate game >company loses $60 >delete game >company receives back $60 >pirate game 1 million times >company loses $60M and declares bankrupcy >buy company for a few dollars 36 KB JPG and become CEO >delete all the pirated copies >$60M deposited in my account >suddenly CEO of my own game company with millions to make my dream game

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Anon has a break | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)22:17:13 No.855244018 >be me >be schizophrenic >mostly under control >on meds, learned live with hallucinations >have an imaginary friend to help cope >name is Bill, is a plastic fork with a face 27 KB JPG drawn on it >talking to Bill helps keep me grounded >be last week >see three women with a string >know the string is my life >f--- they're gonna cut my life >don't wanna die, know it's not real but still scared >f--- did I take my meds? >they go to cut the string, I yell no >they cut it, I feel my life slipping >they keep cutting, the pieces they cut off turn into little pizzas >like those bagel bites >w--.jpeg >Bill will help calm me down >turn to Bill, f---, it's not Bill >just a fork with a face, can't calm me down >cut my life into pizzas >this is my plastic fork
: Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)22:17:13 No.855244018 >be me >be schizophrenic >mostly under control >on meds, learned live with hallucinations >have an imaginary friend to help cope >name is Bill, is a plastic fork with a face 27 KB JPG drawn on it >talking to Bill helps keep me grounded >be last week >see three women with a string >know the string is my life >f--- they're gonna cut my life >don't wanna die, know it's not real but still scared >f--- did I take my meds? >they go to cut the string, I yell no >they cut it, I feel my life slipping >they keep cutting, the pieces they cut off turn into little pizzas >like those bagel bites >w--.jpeg >Bill will help calm me down >turn to Bill, f---, it's not Bill >just a fork with a face, can't calm me down >cut my life into pizzas >this is my plastic fork

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