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Anon fell for the meme | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)22:41:52 No.4417164 /biz/ lied to me. I lost 1,000 dollars in Crypto thanks to them. 345 KB JPG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)23:08:34 No.4417268 >he went to /biz/ for financial advice 1.48 MB GIF
: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)22:41:52 No.4417164 /biz/ lied to me. I lost 1,000 dollars in Crypto thanks to them. 345 KB JPG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)23:08:34 No.4417268 >he went to /biz/ for financial advice 1.48 MB GIF

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Anon had a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)18:17:43 No.63786467 >Dream about s------- yourself >Wake up, clean sheets Hell yeah 257 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)18:17:43 No.63786467 >Dream about s------- yourself >Wake up, clean sheets Hell yeah 257 KB PNG

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Anon tells a story this story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me 353 KB PNG >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me 353 KB PNG >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro

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Anon protects his virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)15:48:41 No.849117527 >be me >Halloween a few years back >Go as a mf wizard >Blue wizard hat w stars and moons n s--- >Blue snuggie i glued velvet stars and moons to >Gettin all the mires from the qts >"Wow anon i love ur costume" >"Thats such a creative costume" >Bitches tryna talk to me all night >Commence festive holiday drinking >See a guy dressed as chef boyardee >Hes got a sack of chef boyardee raviolis >bet him 5 bucks i can chug an entire can of ravioli >He says hes only got 4 dollars >Crack the raviolis and chug like theres no tomorrow >No need to chew, theyre basically lil jello shots >All the females around are now officially disgusted >Disregard females, acquire a free meal and 4 dollarydoos >All the guys at the party now call my the ravioli wizard
: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)15:48:41 No.849117527 >be me >Halloween a few years back >Go as a mf wizard >Blue wizard hat w stars and moons n s--- >Blue snuggie i glued velvet stars and moons to >Gettin all the mires from the qts >"Wow anon i love ur costume" >"Thats such a creative costume" >Bitches tryna talk to me all night >Commence festive holiday drinking >See a guy dressed as chef boyardee >Hes got a sack of chef boyardee raviolis >bet him 5 bucks i can chug an entire can of ravioli >He says hes only got 4 dollars >Crack the raviolis and chug like theres no tomorrow >No need to chew, theyre basically lil jello shots >All the females around are now officially disgusted >Disregard females, acquire a free meal and 4 dollarydoos >All the guys at the party now call my the ravioli wizard

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Anon makes a thread | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:01:23 No.9231307 >make thread >no one replies >pull out my phone and reply to my thread 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:04:06 No.9231311 totally man haha good thread dude >>9231316 #
: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:01:23 No.9231307 >make thread >no one replies >pull out my phone and reply to my thread 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:04:06 No.9231311 totally man haha good thread dude >>9231316 #

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Anon spilled the beans | /r/Greentext

Fil 20210320 092807.jpg (733 KB, 2002x2744) O Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)09:24:03 No.850057761 >be me >uncle visits >he's wearing a Navy hat >blert out "oh you're in the Navy? I'm homosexual too" >mfw
Fil 20210320 092807.jpg (733 KB, 2002x2744) O Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)09:24:03 No.850057761 >be me >uncle visits >he's wearing a Navy hat >blert out "oh you're in the Navy? I'm homosexual too" >mfw

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Anon laughs at fatties | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" >mfw 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:31:06 No.47665705 so dont be fat you fat idiot
: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" >mfw 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:31:06 No.47665705 so dont be fat you fat idiot

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anon is a scientist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/27/12(Wed)14:36:16 No.2904482 >dad is shaving >'don't touch it anon, it is sharp, you will cut your finger' >dad leaves >is it true? must test hypothesis. >climb onto counter, test razor with finger >cut finger, ow f--- >hypothesis confirmed >one must suffer in pursuit of science
Anonymous 06/27/12(Wed)14:36:16 No.2904482 >dad is shaving >'don't touch it anon, it is sharp, you will cut your finger' >dad leaves >is it true? must test hypothesis. >climb onto counter, test razor with finger >cut finger, ow f--- >hypothesis confirmed >one must suffer in pursuit of science

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Anon struggles with captchas | /r/Greentext

05/22/21(Sat)13:21:32 No.63783971 : Anonymous i might be stupid >be me >decided to come make post >fail first captcha >try again >cant find third traktor >cant find third boat 88 KB JPG >panic >close 4cuan >take deep breaths >come back >forgot what was gonna post >mfw
05/22/21(Sat)13:21:32 No.63783971 : Anonymous i might be stupid >be me >decided to come make post >fail first captcha >try again >cant find third traktor >cant find third boat 88 KB JPG >panic >close 4cuan >take deep breaths >come back >forgot what was gonna post >mfw

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Anon is a waiter | /r/Greentext

File: kbkbtk2e3oz61.jpg (576 KB, 800x1066) O Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)18:30:41 No.63784707 >>63784807 >>63784901 >>63784952 >be me, waiter >have to wear face mask all day >have very long and thick brows and eyelashes >long hair in a ponytail >have a very high voice naturally plus voice worn out from talking to customers all day This is the second time this week someone at work has asked me if I'm a girl or a boy I'm kinda offended... Considering if I should put on some muscle or go full trap mode Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)18:37:27 No.63784764 >l'm a long haired squeaky anime posting f--, how could people mistake me for a girl Gee tough one
File: kbkbtk2e3oz61.jpg (576 KB, 800x1066) O Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)18:30:41 No.63784707 >>63784807 >>63784901 >>63784952 >be me, waiter >have to wear face mask all day >have very long and thick brows and eyelashes >long hair in a ponytail >have a very high voice naturally plus voice worn out from talking to customers all day This is the second time this week someone at work has asked me if I'm a girl or a boy I'm kinda offended... Considering if I should put on some muscle or go full trap mode Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)18:37:27 No.63784764 >l'm a long haired squeaky anime posting f--, how could people mistake me for a girl Gee tough one

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Anon gets a compliment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)08:26:16 No.843691791 1607846755974.jpg 90 KB JPG >taking piss at public urinal >guy walks in and starts using the one next to me >he looks over at me >'nice c--- bro, i bet you c-- alot right? Yeah i bet you do' We all need a compliment from time to time to make us feel good.
: Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)08:26:16 No.843691791 1607846755974.jpg 90 KB JPG >taking piss at public urinal >guy walks in and starts using the one next to me >he looks over at me >'nice c--- bro, i bet you c-- alot right? Yeah i bet you do' We all need a compliment from time to time to make us feel good.

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Anon makes it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/19(Fri)17:38:28 No.792141603 >seeing some girl recently >go to her house to f--- her again >while we are cuddling ask her what's on her mind >tells me that she likes me >tell her I like her too 410 KB PNG >tells me how she likes to kiss me, hold me, how she likes me eyes, my laugh, the way I talk >we don't fall asleep until 5am >leave her house around 7am >keeps saying she doesn't want me to go >driving back to my place the feelings hit me >tfw you've been emotionally deprived for the first 19 years of your life >tfw you thought you would end up alone and a loser but you managed to turn out just fine >tfw you realize you aren't alone in this world >tfw you matter to someone It's a feeling that is warmer than heroin /b/
: Anonymous 02/08/19(Fri)17:38:28 No.792141603 >seeing some girl recently >go to her house to f--- her again >while we are cuddling ask her what's on her mind >tells me that she likes me >tell her I like her too 410 KB PNG >tells me how she likes to kiss me, hold me, how she likes me eyes, my laugh, the way I talk >we don't fall asleep until 5am >leave her house around 7am >keeps saying she doesn't want me to go >driving back to my place the feelings hit me >tfw you've been emotionally deprived for the first 19 years of your life >tfw you thought you would end up alone and a loser but you managed to turn out just fine >tfw you realize you aren't alone in this world >tfw you matter to someone It's a feeling that is warmer than heroin /b/

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Anon is a man of wizardry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/10/20(Wed)02:36:44 No.829650014 >at a stop light >light is red "go green... NOW >still red "go green... NOW >still red 104 KB PNG "go green... NOW >turns green >mfw 7 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 06/10/20(Wed)02:36:44 No.829650014 >at a stop light >light is red "go green... NOW >still red "go green... NOW >still red 104 KB PNG "go green... NOW >turns green >mfw 7 Replies View Thread

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Anon had an unexpected encounter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous B My alien encounter story 05/20/21(Thu)19:51:14 No.28598192 >3 am >woke up >went to piss >saw alien in bathroom window True story still keeps me up at night 73 KB JPG
Anonymous B My alien encounter story 05/20/21(Thu)19:51:14 No.28598192 >3 am >woke up >went to piss >saw alien in bathroom window True story still keeps me up at night 73 KB JPG

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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

Retard time! > be me, european > our high school gets several exchange students. Among them is a girl from argentina > they visit us in our class and the teacher says that we should teach them our language > the argentinian girl gets 28 KB JPG assigned to me > we chat, crack jokes and i teach her a few phrases/words >i start teaching her how to read numbers > at the end of the class she writes down her phone number in my notebook and smiles >i say "bueno. Now read it in my language" > she looks dissapointed but does it anyway >i didnt realize what happened there for two years until i found that number later when i was looking over my notes > mfw when i could have gotten some latino p----
Retard time! > be me, european > our high school gets several exchange students. Among them is a girl from argentina > they visit us in our class and the teacher says that we should teach them our language > the argentinian girl gets 28 KB JPG assigned to me > we chat, crack jokes and i teach her a few phrases/words >i start teaching her how to read numbers > at the end of the class she writes down her phone number in my notebook and smiles >i say "bueno. Now read it in my language" > she looks dissapointed but does it anyway >i didnt realize what happened there for two years until i found that number later when i was looking over my notes > mfw when i could have gotten some latino p----

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Anon gets an achievement just with his eyes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)20:43:31 No.854971480 >be me >at uni waiting for classes to start >one of my classmates was wearing a crop top >i stare at her belly >she notices and pulls her shirt down to cover it >i keep staring >she gets visibly annoyed and leaves the area >achievement unlocked: irritated a person of the opposite sex without saying a single word >mfw
Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)20:43:31 No.854971480 >be me >at uni waiting for classes to start >one of my classmates was wearing a crop top >i stare at her belly >she notices and pulls her shirt down to cover it >i keep staring >she gets visibly annoyed and leaves the area >achievement unlocked: irritated a person of the opposite sex without saying a single word >mfw

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Anon is an ameteur artist | /r/Greentext

File: gigachad.jpg (6 KB, 225x225) O Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)18:26:21 No.63771352 >be me >amateur artist >drawing myself as a cute girl >banish all of my feminine traits into this drawing >only pure masculinity remains in me now
File: gigachad.jpg (6 KB, 225x225) O Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)18:26:21 No.63771352 >be me >amateur artist >drawing myself as a cute girl >banish all of my feminine traits into this drawing >only pure masculinity remains in me now

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Anon cant find a bf to treat her right | /r/Greentext

1578470375406.jpg| 52 KB JPG >date a white right wing guy >want him to call me slurs and call me his property >he merely laughs when I suggest this to him and says that he loves me too much
1578470375406.jpg| 52 KB JPG >date a white right wing guy >want him to call me slurs and call me his property >he merely laughs when I suggest this to him and says that he loves me too much

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Secdjdjdjdjd | /r/Greentext


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Anons Florida vacation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)13:31:22 No.855025776 Autism thread; I'll start >Be me >17 year old autist >On vacation with family in Florida >Stop by BBQ place for dinner >Order glass of water because it's 95 KB JPG hot as hell >Eat the ice once I'm done, because I don't want to be wasteful >qt3.14 waitress notices and offers me another drink >l say no >She offers a cup of ice >The f---? >Panic and say yes >lce arrives >I know the waitress will notice if I don't eat it >Reluctantly eat the entire glass of ice Why am I like this?
: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)13:31:22 No.855025776 Autism thread; I'll start >Be me >17 year old autist >On vacation with family in Florida >Stop by BBQ place for dinner >Order glass of water because it's 95 KB JPG hot as hell >Eat the ice once I'm done, because I don't want to be wasteful >qt3.14 waitress notices and offers me another drink >l say no >She offers a cup of ice >The f---? >Panic and say yes >lce arrives >I know the waitress will notice if I don't eat it >Reluctantly eat the entire glass of ice Why am I like this?

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