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Anon goes to target | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)22:23:04 No.854369447 b81-1.png 394 KB PNG >be me >go to target to get new earbuds because old ones craped out >Pass by clothing display >lt's pride month so they have gay s--- on display that says "#takepride" >They use the gay + trans + People of color flag >mfw all I have to say now is "I'm homophobic" and not "I'm racist, transphobic and homophobic."
: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)22:23:04 No.854369447 b81-1.png 394 KB PNG >be me >go to target to get new earbuds because old ones craped out >Pass by clothing display >lt's pride month so they have gay s--- on display that says "#takepride" >They use the gay + trans + People of color flag >mfw all I have to say now is "I'm homophobic" and not "I'm racist, transphobic and homophobic."

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Anon meets new friend on Xbox Live | /r/Greentext

>in 2007 >15 >playing Modern Warfare on Xbox Live >end up killing each other with a guy over and over in tdm >invites me to play with him >accept invite >we start speaking via voicechat thingy >he is 13 >we chat about random s--- >suddenly background noise from his part >his parents arguing >"damn, it sounds pretty heated" >"they argue all the time, got used to it, dad lately started hitting mom though" >"jesus that sounds horrible" >"well, it kinda helps when I imagine it's a dark gag in a Family Guy episode"
>in 2007 >15 >playing Modern Warfare on Xbox Live >end up killing each other with a guy over and over in tdm >invites me to play with him >accept invite >we start speaking via voicechat thingy >he is 13 >we chat about random s--- >suddenly background noise from his part >his parents arguing >"damn, it sounds pretty heated" >"they argue all the time, got used to it, dad lately started hitting mom though" >"jesus that sounds horrible" >"well, it kinda helps when I imagine it's a dark gag in a Family Guy episode"

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Anon distrusts crypto | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Zwfn0gJH Imagine... 05/01/21(Sat)11:17:41 No.319493977 >be me B >Be an arbitrary currency that is not backed by anything >be the source of inflation caused by over-speculation and the over- reliance on investment fırms >be the source of revenue for 130 KB JPG criminals, ponzi schemes and multi-level marketing scams >be the US Dollar Pic unrelated.
: Anonymous (ID: Zwfn0gJH Imagine... 05/01/21(Sat)11:17:41 No.319493977 >be me B >Be an arbitrary currency that is not backed by anything >be the source of inflation caused by over-speculation and the over- reliance on investment fırms >be the source of revenue for 130 KB JPG criminals, ponzi schemes and multi-level marketing scams >be the US Dollar Pic unrelated.

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Anon is a hero | /r/Greentext

1• #766898005 4/25/18, 8:11 PM >be me, in mexico to visit friends >not my first rodeo, pickpockets beware >cut hole in pocket, slip d--- in hole >take public transport, wait for my mark >there he is, punk w/ sticky fingers >make myself an easy mark, not too obvious >few minutes later, kid tries to lift wallet, touches penis >he knows it, i know it >my face as he looks at me with disqust and he gets off the next step Mexico is a great place
1• #766898005 4/25/18, 8:11 PM >be me, in mexico to visit friends >not my first rodeo, pickpockets beware >cut hole in pocket, slip d--- in hole >take public transport, wait for my mark >there he is, punk w/ sticky fingers >make myself an easy mark, not too obvious >few minutes later, kid tries to lift wallet, touches penis >he knows it, i know it >my face as he looks at me with disqust and he gets off the next step Mexico is a great place

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Anon does a project | /r/Greentext

> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw
> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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Anon is in class | /r/Greentext

1. #62546757 9/21/17, 12:00 >be in class >everyone using gay ass laptops >smirk >pull on my fingerless hacking gloves >put on my anti-glare sunglasses >pull my fedora a little lower >crack my knuckles >actually only two of them can crack >l'm not sure why, I think it's genetic >rearrange the tails of my duster trenchcoat >pull my alienware tower from under the table >it makes a big thump when I put it on the tabletop >sorry >turn it on >fans start blowing all those goofy laptop user's gay papers everywhere >plug in my cherry blue keyswitch mechanical >start typing >teacher has to raise voice to be heard >everyone whispering and 'mirin my rig >somehow security finds out l'm not a registered student >get escorted out
1. #62546757 9/21/17, 12:00 >be in class >everyone using gay ass laptops >smirk >pull on my fingerless hacking gloves >put on my anti-glare sunglasses >pull my fedora a little lower >crack my knuckles >actually only two of them can crack >l'm not sure why, I think it's genetic >rearrange the tails of my duster trenchcoat >pull my alienware tower from under the table >it makes a big thump when I put it on the tabletop >sorry >turn it on >fans start blowing all those goofy laptop user's gay papers everywhere >plug in my cherry blue keyswitch mechanical >start typing >teacher has to raise voice to be heard >everyone whispering and 'mirin my rig >somehow security finds out l'm not a registered student >get escorted out

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Anon is bamboozled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/21 (Wed)19:30:37 No.61745887 >be me in highschool >notice the girl ive had a huge crush on for years is wearing a megadeth shirt >go home and listen to a s--- ton and i actually love it >perfect conversation starter 76 KB JPG >wait for her to wear it again >go up to her and say the usual "oh you listen to that too?" >"oh uh no haha ive never heard of them i just thought the shirt was cool" >instantly lose all interest >bitch curved me but i ended up finding one of my favorite bands of all time and got introduced to the genre and thats how megadeth cured me of my oneitis. rock on, robots
: Anonymous 01/06/21 (Wed)19:30:37 No.61745887 >be me in highschool >notice the girl ive had a huge crush on for years is wearing a megadeth shirt >go home and listen to a s--- ton and i actually love it >perfect conversation starter 76 KB JPG >wait for her to wear it again >go up to her and say the usual "oh you listen to that too?" >"oh uh no haha ive never heard of them i just thought the shirt was cool" >instantly lose all interest >bitch curved me but i ended up finding one of my favorite bands of all time and got introduced to the genre and thats how megadeth cured me of my oneitis. rock on, robots

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Anon likes VSauce | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >I have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying
: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >I have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying

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Anon is suicidal | /r/Greentext


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Active shooter in the workplace | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 47116022 1 hr. ago ••• There is an active shooter in you workplace right now /k/. What do you do? 97.9 kB JPG 14 REPLIES 4 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 47116040 1 hr. ago i dunno, keep shooting people, i guess. 3 REPLIES
Anonymous | 47116022 1 hr. ago ••• There is an active shooter in you workplace right now /k/. What do you do? 97.9 kB JPG 14 REPLIES 4 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 47116040 1 hr. ago i dunno, keep shooting people, i guess. 3 REPLIES

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Anon goes to trade school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)10:39:11 No.63649293 Trade school at 30 >you drop out from astrophysics and go to trade school at 30 >all your peers are immature 16- year-olds >you don't even get to meet any girls because they're all 16 >it's still incredibly frustrating to see 145 KB JPG the young Chads and Stacies explore their sexuality publicly >teachers love you though: you're mature, motivated and you know your s--- >everything is too easy and feels like you're in kindergarten >you ace every course, being the best in your class >this doesn't make you happy though, quite the opposite I don't think there's any place for me in this life. It wasn't uni, it wasn't trade school, and if I get a job, I'll hate it too. I actually hate sitting at home playing vidya as well.
: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)10:39:11 No.63649293 Trade school at 30 >you drop out from astrophysics and go to trade school at 30 >all your peers are immature 16- year-olds >you don't even get to meet any girls because they're all 16 >it's still incredibly frustrating to see 145 KB JPG the young Chads and Stacies explore their sexuality publicly >teachers love you though: you're mature, motivated and you know your s--- >everything is too easy and feels like you're in kindergarten >you ace every course, being the best in your class >this doesn't make you happy though, quite the opposite I don't think there's any place for me in this life. It wasn't uni, it wasn't trade school, and if I get a job, I'll hate it too. I actually hate sitting at home playing vidya as well.

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Anon is a sociopath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/18(Fri)17:03:37 No.20020759 >Was walking home from work late at night really mad >Find guy passed out slumped over a table outside an ice cream shop, clearly on drugs >Felt an incredible hatred toward 90 KB GIF him for some reason >Pushed him over onto the ground, he hit his head pretty hard >Walked away >Felt really bad about it all night >He was gone this morning, no crime scene tape How do I quit feeling guilty? : Anonymous 09/14/18(Fri)17:54:57 No.20020963 >>20020759 (OP) # dude what the f--- is wrong with you, that's something sociopaths do
: Anonymous 09/14/18(Fri)17:03:37 No.20020759 >Was walking home from work late at night really mad >Find guy passed out slumped over a table outside an ice cream shop, clearly on drugs >Felt an incredible hatred toward 90 KB GIF him for some reason >Pushed him over onto the ground, he hit his head pretty hard >Walked away >Felt really bad about it all night >He was gone this morning, no crime scene tape How do I quit feeling guilty? : Anonymous 09/14/18(Fri)17:54:57 No.20020963 >>20020759 (OP) # dude what the f--- is wrong with you, that's something sociopaths do

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Anon is racist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)10:53:20 No.789251811 >be me >over the border racist >sleep with underage niece >hate the British for humiliating my country's people >cool mustache 10 KB JPG >spend a lot of time outside of said county >can give firebomb public speeches >write a book about how my people are oppressed >people favor me >rise to power >consider WW2 as the opening of opportunities >be Gandhi >pic unrelated 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)10:53:20 No.789251811 >be me >over the border racist >sleep with underage niece >hate the British for humiliating my country's people >cool mustache 10 KB JPG >spend a lot of time outside of said county >can give firebomb public speeches >write a book about how my people are oppressed >people favor me >rise to power >consider WW2 as the opening of opportunities >be Gandhi >pic unrelated 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon talks to a girl | /r/Greentext

>be me 6 years ago avg looking retard, only slightly autistic but only weird hobbies >meet super cute girl at event, she hits on me HARD and have a nice talk >lets ask for her number but go to toilet first 53 KB JPG >come back, shes gone >bruh.mp4 >fast forward 6 1/2 years later, never forgot her, she just was perfect >Only knew her first name but know she's the daughter of some millionaire who doesn't want to be found online >challenge.exe >3 days of intense research later find her Instagram >think 3 weeks about how I shoot my shot perfectly >shoot my shot >she INSTANTLY replies and still remembers me, is amazed and gives me phone number right away >text her on whatsapp >we have nothing to talk about >mfw
>be me 6 years ago avg looking retard, only slightly autistic but only weird hobbies >meet super cute girl at event, she hits on me HARD and have a nice talk >lets ask for her number but go to toilet first 53 KB JPG >come back, shes gone >bruh.mp4 >fast forward 6 1/2 years later, never forgot her, she just was perfect >Only knew her first name but know she's the daughter of some millionaire who doesn't want to be found online >challenge.exe >3 days of intense research later find her Instagram >think 3 weeks about how I shoot my shot perfectly >shoot my shot >she INSTANTLY replies and still remembers me, is amazed and gives me phone number right away >text her on whatsapp >we have nothing to talk about >mfw

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Anon is a pirate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Anon comes up with a life hack | /r/Greentext

File: evil pepe.jpg (7 KB, 92x109) O Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)16:26:58 No.854353976 ► >hear losing 50lbs adds 1 inch to your benis idea.tiff >gain 500lbs >lose 500lbs >have foot long dong checkmate athiests
File: evil pepe.jpg (7 KB, 92x109) O Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)16:26:58 No.854353976 ► >hear losing 50lbs adds 1 inch to your benis idea.tiff >gain 500lbs >lose 500lbs >have foot long dong checkmate athiests

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Anon is Scottish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)12:00:52 No.63652890 >Be scottish >renowned as some of the best fighters ever >defeated the best armies in the world, romans didn't want to try and fight the Scots, defeated the English multiple 31 KB JPG times >Hitler regarded us as "devils in skirts" >majority of officers in the British Empire were scottish Fast-Forward to today >get arrested for saying the gamer word Has there ever been a worse downfall than this? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)12:00:52 No.63652890 >Be scottish >renowned as some of the best fighters ever >defeated the best armies in the world, romans didn't want to try and fight the Scots, defeated the English multiple 31 KB JPG times >Hitler regarded us as "devils in skirts" >majority of officers in the British Empire were scottish Fast-Forward to today >get arrested for saying the gamer word Has there ever been a worse downfall than this? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon smiles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)03:14:45 No.63659960 >be me >walking in the park >dressed in jeans and a nice polo shirt >a group of pretty college age girls walks by >see them looking at me >they walk past me 806 KB PNG >hear "that boy is cute" >l smile I used to be a fat unhealthy slob, but now im skinny and kinda muscular. Anything is possible boys. Don't give up. : Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)03:22:30 No.63660037 Happy for you man, keep at it
: Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)03:14:45 No.63659960 >be me >walking in the park >dressed in jeans and a nice polo shirt >a group of pretty college age girls walks by >see them looking at me >they walk past me 806 KB PNG >hear "that boy is cute" >l smile I used to be a fat unhealthy slob, but now im skinny and kinda muscular. Anything is possible boys. Don't give up. : Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)03:22:30 No.63660037 Happy for you man, keep at it

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Great advice anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)04:49:44 No.63345759 >Wake up >Tinnitus starts again 44 KB PNG 16 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)06:35:42 No.63346652 >>63345759 (OP) # Have you tried not listening to it? 54 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)04:49:44 No.63345759 >Wake up >Tinnitus starts again 44 KB PNG 16 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)06:35:42 No.63346652 >>63345759 (OP) # Have you tried not listening to it? 54 KB JPG

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Gotta love high school | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 04/20/11(Wed)19:34 No.7072774 [!] File1303342470.jpg-(6 KB, 242x208, images4.jpg) >in high school >GIANT LANDWHALE, 400+ Ib >is universally known by the school as the fattest kid >senior year, she's voted 'most well-rounded' >mfw
I Anonymous 04/20/11(Wed)19:34 No.7072774 [!] File1303342470.jpg-(6 KB, 242x208, images4.jpg) >in high school >GIANT LANDWHALE, 400+ Ib >is universally known by the school as the fattest kid >senior year, she's voted 'most well-rounded' >mfw

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