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Anon gets a fembot girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)19:17:37 No.63610569 >get fembot gf >its all fun and games >get her pregnent >she cuts her belly open and kills the unborn child in one of her depresive episodes 15 KB JPG be warned robots 5 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)19:17:37 No.63610569 >get fembot gf >its all fun and games >get her pregnent >she cuts her belly open and kills the unborn child in one of her depresive episodes 15 KB JPG be warned robots 5 Replies View Thread

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Anon gets lucky. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 05/10/21(Mon)15:21:12 No.63612917 >be me >meet some girl on tinder >not that attracted to her but she's my only match >we see each other, don't kiss or anything but she wants to keep seeing each other >realize I'm only doing this cause I have no one else but I don't really want to date 9 KB JPG her >panic.exe >don't know how to stop contact and I'm too much of a p---- to just straight up tell her I don't wanna see her >keep pretending everything is alright until she gets tired of me or some divine intervention happens >be days later >she says she's having covid symptoms >that's perfect cause that means I won't be seeing her for a least two weeks so I can relax a little >she has breathing problems so she gets hospitalized >days later learn through her fb wall that she passed away >no longer feel anxious that was a close one anons. I would've married her out of social awkwardness : Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)15:23:41 No.63612941 >>63612917 (OP) # I'm happy for your loss, anon. >>63613782 #
: Anonymous E 05/10/21(Mon)15:21:12 No.63612917 >be me >meet some girl on tinder >not that attracted to her but she's my only match >we see each other, don't kiss or anything but she wants to keep seeing each other >realize I'm only doing this cause I have no one else but I don't really want to date 9 KB JPG her >panic.exe >don't know how to stop contact and I'm too much of a p---- to just straight up tell her I don't wanna see her >keep pretending everything is alright until she gets tired of me or some divine intervention happens >be days later >she says she's having covid symptoms >that's perfect cause that means I won't be seeing her for a least two weeks so I can relax a little >she has breathing problems so she gets hospitalized >days later learn through her fb wall that she passed away >no longer feel anxious that was a close one anons. I would've married her out of social awkwardness : Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)15:23:41 No.63612941 >>63612917 (OP) # I'm happy for your loss, anon. >>63613782 #

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Anon becomes dom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/ | (Mon)19:19:25 Nó.850243563 >be me >straight >not a lot of money due to covid >gay friend works as a payboy >tells me there are a lot of people looking for young male doms >say f--- it and decide to try it out 198 KB JPG >only through webcam because of the virus >actually don't care about the virus >just don't want to see naked men irl >somehow get clients >don't know what the f--- do >just call them pieces of s--- and f----- >make close to 5k every month >literally easiest job I ever had W-- /b/ros, why did nobody ever tell me making money could be this easy? 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 03/ | (Mon)19:19:25 Nó.850243563 >be me >straight >not a lot of money due to covid >gay friend works as a payboy >tells me there are a lot of people looking for young male doms >say f--- it and decide to try it out 198 KB JPG >only through webcam because of the virus >actually don't care about the virus >just don't want to see naked men irl >somehow get clients >don't know what the f--- do >just call them pieces of s--- and f----- >make close to 5k every month >literally easiest job I ever had W-- /b/ros, why did nobody ever tell me making money could be this easy? 1 Reply View Thread

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anon beats the game | /r/Greentext

* Anonymous 05/11/19(Sat)06:13:52 No.461756570 >play chess with someone online >load up chess on my computer and set the opponent to Master difficulty while I'm playing them >they move >I simulate their move on my 91 KB JPG computer >copy what the Master difficulty bot does >repeat >ez victory heh... nothin personnel kid
* Anonymous 05/11/19(Sat)06:13:52 No.461756570 >play chess with someone online >load up chess on my computer and set the opponent to Master difficulty while I'm playing them >they move >I simulate their move on my 91 KB JPG computer >copy what the Master difficulty bot does >repeat >ez victory heh... nothin personnel kid

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Anon is getting TOPPED | /r/Greentext


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Anon provides help for poor girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/18(Tue)14:11:20 No.765484418 19 and struggling with uni costs. I sell cheap nudes :) My Kik is natasha_alderson5001 153 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/10/18(Tue)14:13:01 No.765484501 >>765484418 (OP) # why don't you sell expensive nudes instead?
: Anonymous 04/10/18(Tue)14:11:20 No.765484418 19 and struggling with uni costs. I sell cheap nudes :) My Kik is natasha_alderson5001 153 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/10/18(Tue)14:13:01 No.765484501 >>765484418 (OP) # why don't you sell expensive nudes instead?

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Anon goes to sleep early | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)18:11:29 No.63608199 >go to sleep early >wake with intense lower back up pain >neck hurts >can't properly open one eye >only manage to sleep 6 hours >has happened in 3 consecutive 320 KB PNG nights It's like l'm being punished for trying to turn my life around.
: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)18:11:29 No.63608199 >go to sleep early >wake with intense lower back up pain >neck hurts >can't properly open one eye >only manage to sleep 6 hours >has happened in 3 consecutive 320 KB PNG nights It's like l'm being punished for trying to turn my life around.

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Anon has a close call | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.622798957 17 minutes ago I once pretended to have a psychotic episode and smashed a macbook with a bat to keep my brother and his fiancee from stumbling across pictures I photoshopped of her giving birth to me. 6 replies
Anonymous No.622798957 17 minutes ago I once pretended to have a psychotic episode and smashed a macbook with a bat to keep my brother and his fiancee from stumbling across pictures I photoshopped of her giving birth to me. 6 replies

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Anon likes Beethoven | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)12:05:05 No.854093583 >come home from work >first thing I do is lay down in bed, and ponder at the roof >take my phone, some headphones and browse >out of thin air I think of listening to 6 KB JPG beethoven 9 >turn on the long 80 minute version >relax, listening to a quiet yet dramatic orchestra play out a tune to my ears i remember it felt otherworldly, haven't been happier that I listened to the full thing
: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)12:05:05 No.854093583 >come home from work >first thing I do is lay down in bed, and ponder at the roof >take my phone, some headphones and browse >out of thin air I think of listening to 6 KB JPG beethoven 9 >turn on the long 80 minute version >relax, listening to a quiet yet dramatic orchestra play out a tune to my ears i remember it felt otherworldly, haven't been happier that I listened to the full thing

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Anon is a fish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/20(Thu)21:46:35 No.842567137 >be me, fish WHY? >live in science class fish tank >just swimming around randomly one day >"boy I sure love my life in this nice water" 26 KB PNG >a special needs kid proceeds to pour fabric softener in the tank >mfw
: Anonymous 12/17/20(Thu)21:46:35 No.842567137 >be me, fish WHY? >live in science class fish tank >just swimming around randomly one day >"boy I sure love my life in this nice water" 26 KB PNG >a special needs kid proceeds to pour fabric softener in the tank >mfw

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Anon wants Shrek 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)18:54:33 No.854040996 Do you have any good Kazaa stories? >be me >12yo, don't know how to spot suspicious files 6 KB JPG >Shrek 2.avi.exe 14kb >seems legit > can no longer boot computer > repairman comes over, my whole family is in the room when my downloaded scat p--- folder is discovered
: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)18:54:33 No.854040996 Do you have any good Kazaa stories? >be me >12yo, don't know how to spot suspicious files 6 KB JPG >Shrek 2.avi.exe 14kb >seems legit > can no longer boot computer > repairman comes over, my whole family is in the room when my downloaded scat p--- folder is discovered

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Anon watches the Simpsons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)22:25:23 No.854057324 >Be me >Watching Simpsons guest couch gag compilation >LA-Z Rider (the 80s one) comes on reallyawesome.jpg >Look up animator >Steve Cutts 135 KB JPG >See his other works >Nothing but annoying "Humans bad" b------- >Mfw the only thing of value he ever has and will make is a f------ Simpsons couch gag
: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)22:25:23 No.854057324 >Be me >Watching Simpsons guest couch gag compilation >LA-Z Rider (the 80s one) comes on reallyawesome.jpg >Look up animator >Steve Cutts 135 KB JPG >See his other works >Nothing but annoying "Humans bad" b------- >Mfw the only thing of value he ever has and will make is a f------ Simpsons couch gag

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Anon memed himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Ascension 05/02/18(Wed)10:45:03 No.45088013 >Be Me >no friends, never leave room, no future etc >discover tendies greentext >think it's the funniest s--- >jokingly ask mom for tendies >actually makes me some 326 KB PNG >keep this up for months, ask mom or dad to make me tendies every day after school >drink 3 gallons of mountain dew a week >eat nothing but tendies and cereal >haven't left my room except to go to school in over 6 months >last summer break I didn't leave my house at all >tfw my parents say I am a waste of oxygen >tfw the tendies meme is real
: Anonymous Ascension 05/02/18(Wed)10:45:03 No.45088013 >Be Me >no friends, never leave room, no future etc >discover tendies greentext >think it's the funniest s--- >jokingly ask mom for tendies >actually makes me some 326 KB PNG >keep this up for months, ask mom or dad to make me tendies every day after school >drink 3 gallons of mountain dew a week >eat nothing but tendies and cereal >haven't left my room except to go to school in over 6 months >last summer break I didn't leave my house at all >tfw my parents say I am a waste of oxygen >tfw the tendies meme is real

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Anon is terrified | /r/Greentext

File: ikyiuoka7d421 jpg (42 KB, 646x595) O Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)05:49 22 No. 150720588 - >watching a TV show >all of a sudden a character stops and looks directly into the camera >recites my full name, date of birth, address, social security number, and the outfit I'm currently wearing >show resumes like nothing happened Uh.. bros??
File: ikyiuoka7d421 jpg (42 KB, 646x595) O Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)05:49 22 No. 150720588 - >watching a TV show >all of a sudden a character stops and looks directly into the camera >recites my full name, date of birth, address, social security number, and the outfit I'm currently wearing >show resumes like nothing happened Uh.. bros??

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Anon is woke af | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/10/21(Wed)22:42:00 No.626975- >Bro trust me there are definitely not tiny people in your tv >it's like uhhh it's actually a complex signal that's transmitted through the air >and it like uuuhhh it makes the tv blink certain lights that create the moving picture of people moving around >there are no tiny people it's actually 50 KB PNG science
: Anonymous 03/10/21(Wed)22:42:00 No.626975- >Bro trust me there are definitely not tiny people in your tv >it's like uhhh it's actually a complex signal that's transmitted through the air >and it like uuuhhh it makes the tv blink certain lights that create the moving picture of people moving around >there are no tiny people it's actually 50 KB PNG science

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Anon questions the etiology of his heart attack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/20(Fri)09:25:06 No.828211383 >>828209346 (OP) # >be me >have pain in heart >feels like bad back ache >left arm begins to ache >take blood pressure 190/120 56 KB JPG >go to hospital >"you had a heart attack, anon" MFW, how did this happen when I lowered by intake of Krispy Kreme's by 50%??
: Anonymous 05/22/20(Fri)09:25:06 No.828211383 >>828209346 (OP) # >be me >have pain in heart >feels like bad back ache >left arm begins to ache >take blood pressure 190/120 56 KB JPG >go to hospital >"you had a heart attack, anon" MFW, how did this happen when I lowered by intake of Krispy Kreme's by 50%??

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Anon's mom substitutes butter | /r/Greentext

No.16081403 19 hours ago 1596976383675.jpg JPG 58.2 KiB 720x720 >Recipe calls for "butter" >My mom uses "margarine" >Complains about the recipe 5 replies No.16081421 19 hours ago
No.16081403 19 hours ago 1596976383675.jpg JPG 58.2 KiB 720x720 >Recipe calls for "butter" >My mom uses "margarine" >Complains about the recipe 5 replies No.16081421 19 hours ago

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Anon has an unpopular opinion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21 (Mon)12:17:38 No.854094226 >go on reddit >unpopular opinion subreddit >give unpopular opinion >downvoted how do these retards function 15 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/10/21 (Mon)12:17:38 No.854094226 >go on reddit >unpopular opinion subreddit >give unpopular opinion >downvoted how do these retards function 15 KB JPG

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Anon makes a hell of a deal | /r/Greentext

>Know a guy who is a former marine (infantry) and deployed to Afghanistan >Now smokes meth, weed, and does heroin 21 KB JPG >Was begging me for money for heroin >Told him l'd give it to him if he gave me his military gear >Game me virtually everything, uniforms, photos, bags, chest rigs, helmet, night vision attachments >Basically all the gear filled up my entire car >Gave him $150 I feel bad, should i contact veteran affairs about this guy?
>Know a guy who is a former marine (infantry) and deployed to Afghanistan >Now smokes meth, weed, and does heroin 21 KB JPG >Was begging me for money for heroin >Told him l'd give it to him if he gave me his military gear >Game me virtually everything, uniforms, photos, bags, chest rigs, helmet, night vision attachments >Basically all the gear filled up my entire car >Gave him $150 I feel bad, should i contact veteran affairs about this guy?

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Anon is german | /r/Greentext

Pause Untbr Esc F1 F2 F3 F4 F5 F6 F7 F8 F9 F10 F11 F12 Drucken Rollen Num Lock Caps Sou Lock Lock Bild Enlg Post 3 3 4 6. R. P Bid En Ende Bild Post 4 5 6. A D H K. L 1 3 Enter Y V B N Ende Bid Alt Gr Strg Ent Alt Enlg Strg O Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)03:53:30 No.81536205 >>81536342 >>81536445 >>81536466 >>81536478 >>81537013 >>81537068 >>81537253 >>81537587 >>81539212 >>81541640 >>81542247 >Be German >Muscle memory built to type "@" with this combination of keys >Try MacOS for the first time >Same combination is equivalent of ALT+F4 >Close every application every time I try to log into any account of any service. F--- you Apple O Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)03:58:39 No.81536272 >>81539282 >>81541546 >>81542247 00ochh ich kannst nicht typen on zis dummkopf operatingssystemme ich bin sehr mad oooohhh nein
Pause Untbr Esc F1 F2 F3 F4 F5 F6 F7 F8 F9 F10 F11 F12 Drucken Rollen Num Lock Caps Sou Lock Lock Bild Enlg Post 3 3 4 6. R. P Bid En Ende Bild Post 4 5 6. A D H K. L 1 3 Enter Y V B N Ende Bid Alt Gr Strg Ent Alt Enlg Strg O Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)03:53:30 No.81536205 >>81536342 >>81536445 >>81536466 >>81536478 >>81537013 >>81537068 >>81537253 >>81537587 >>81539212 >>81541640 >>81542247 >Be German >Muscle memory built to type "@" with this combination of keys >Try MacOS for the first time >Same combination is equivalent of ALT+F4 >Close every application every time I try to log into any account of any service. F--- you Apple O Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)03:58:39 No.81536272 >>81539282 >>81541546 >>81542247 00ochh ich kannst nicht typen on zis dummkopf operatingssystemme ich bin sehr mad oooohhh nein

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