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Anon applies for a job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/21(Tue)19:40:45 No.137577790 1609952754578.jpg 6 KB JPG >applying for a cashier position >have to write a two-page motivational letter
: Anonymous 01/12/21(Tue)19:40:45 No.137577790 1609952754578.jpg 6 KB JPG >applying for a cashier position >have to write a two-page motivational letter

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Anon beats racism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)19:34:23 No.548733976 f.jpg 29 KB JPG >>548732910_(OP)_# >game ends >l say "ni" >someone says "gg" >l say "er"
: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)19:34:23 No.548733976 f.jpg 29 KB JPG >>548732910_(OP)_# >game ends >l say "ni" >someone says "gg" >l say "er"

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Anon fights back | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.619019470 21 minutes ago >16 years old >walking to the bus stop to go to school >group of girls walking behind me >hear one say "you dare me?" >the other one say "I double dare you" >This bitch blindsides me and swings her fist into my temple from behind >Thatfuckishappening.jpg >l fall face first into concrete >the other two laugh as my nose bleed >get up >she got all up in my face, shoved me and yelled, "Whatchu gonna do about it, f-----? Hit a girl?" >Dont tempt me bitch >slammed my palm into her face and knocked her the f--- out >mfw they call me a monster >mfw they sream women beater What do you guys think of girls using their gender to protect themselves 5 replies Anonymous No.619019875 18 minutes ago f----- got em
Anonymous No.619019470 21 minutes ago >16 years old >walking to the bus stop to go to school >group of girls walking behind me >hear one say "you dare me?" >the other one say "I double dare you" >This bitch blindsides me and swings her fist into my temple from behind >Thatfuckishappening.jpg >l fall face first into concrete >the other two laugh as my nose bleed >get up >she got all up in my face, shoved me and yelled, "Whatchu gonna do about it, f-----? Hit a girl?" >Dont tempt me bitch >slammed my palm into her face and knocked her the f--- out >mfw they call me a monster >mfw they sream women beater What do you guys think of girls using their gender to protect themselves 5 replies Anonymous No.619019875 18 minutes ago f----- got em

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Anon doesn't sell drugs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake feels good man drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class
: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake feels good man drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class

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Anon has a good friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 >l take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every 195 KB PNG night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because l'll be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >l think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"
: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 >l take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every 195 KB PNG night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because l'll be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >l think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"

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Anon discovers FDS | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)09:09:02 No.849327632 >get in argument with friend about worst places on the internet >I say this bored >he links me this 35 KB JPG https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDati ngStrategy/ and i thought you f------ where spiteful 23 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)09:09:02 No.849327632 >get in argument with friend about worst places on the internet >I say this bored >he links me this 35 KB JPG https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDati ngStrategy/ and i thought you f------ where spiteful 23 Replies View Thread

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Anon spills the beans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: eDLgEdpo GUYS HELP I SCREWED UP BAD!!! 04/24/17(Mon)16:01:43 No.122645157 >be me >time to get wisdom teeth pulled out >go under drugs >my family now has videos of me crying profusely as i rant on about how the jews 37 KB JPG are subverting our white culture >mfw the doctor is jewish >mfw everybody knows i'm a bad goy >plz 2 help
: Anonymous (ID: eDLgEdpo GUYS HELP I SCREWED UP BAD!!! 04/24/17(Mon)16:01:43 No.122645157 >be me >time to get wisdom teeth pulled out >go under drugs >my family now has videos of me crying profusely as i rant on about how the jews 37 KB JPG are subverting our white culture >mfw the doctor is jewish >mfw everybody knows i'm a bad goy >plz 2 help

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Anon hates his father | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)09:59:24 No.844740211 >masturbating in bedroom >about to c-- >dad comes running in naked screaming >'and here comes dad from left field!" >he does a running jump 83 KB JPG >lands a------ first on my d--- >penetration.png >c-- >mfw he laughs and calls me a f----- for cuming in another guy EVERY F------ TIME
: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)09:59:24 No.844740211 >masturbating in bedroom >about to c-- >dad comes running in naked screaming >'and here comes dad from left field!" >he does a running jump 83 KB JPG >lands a------ first on my d--- >penetration.png >c-- >mfw he laughs and calls me a f----- for cuming in another guy EVERY F------ TIME

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Anon is socially inept | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/18(Wed)15:20:34 No.48226468 >This Uber driver is known for great conversation 7 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 09/19/18(Wed)15:20:34 No.48226468 >This Uber driver is known for great conversation 7 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon gets the good succ | /r/Greentext

f------ hell /b/ros, this just happened yesterday. >be me >go to best bros house >we be having a good time, getting high, watching crazy s--- on the tele >s--- was so cash >he says hes got to go to the store for more munchies >ok bro >he leaves >be alone watching tv >his bitch walks out of his bedroom >l say hello and she looks at me and nods >lol, she never was much of a talker >ask her how her day was > rough" >yeah, I know that feel girl >shes just awkwardly staring at me now >pat on the seat next to me and invite her to sit down >she comes over and sits >we are watching some s--- on like comedy central or whatever >she doesn't seem too interested >she rests her head on my lap >boner jpeg >start stroking her hair >she likes it >she looks up at me with dem puppy-dog eyes >it was f------ adorable >my boner is now reaching full potential >she sees it and stares at it >l unzip my pants and take out my d--- >she starts licking it >she was kinda sloppy, but still good >about to c-- >friend comes back in from store >mfw he sees me getting sucked off by his dog
f------ hell /b/ros, this just happened yesterday. >be me >go to best bros house >we be having a good time, getting high, watching crazy s--- on the tele >s--- was so cash >he says hes got to go to the store for more munchies >ok bro >he leaves >be alone watching tv >his bitch walks out of his bedroom >l say hello and she looks at me and nods >lol, she never was much of a talker >ask her how her day was > rough" >yeah, I know that feel girl >shes just awkwardly staring at me now >pat on the seat next to me and invite her to sit down >she comes over and sits >we are watching some s--- on like comedy central or whatever >she doesn't seem too interested >she rests her head on my lap >boner jpeg >start stroking her hair >she likes it >she looks up at me with dem puppy-dog eyes >it was f------ adorable >my boner is now reaching full potential >she sees it and stares at it >l unzip my pants and take out my d--- >she starts licking it >she was kinda sloppy, but still good >about to c-- >friend comes back in from store >mfw he sees me getting sucked off by his dog

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Anon loves his dad | /r/Greentext

>>47921481 (OP) # Dad got me through depression >Took me to the gym >Encouraged me to go out and get exercise even if it's just walking the dog >can't lift s--- at first but progress becomes noticeable >enjoy the walks through nature with my pup >dad encourages me to do martial arts >join MMA gym doing mostly Muay Thai >pretty much addicted to it >love the pain >changes his eating habits to help me get used to new healthy diet >losing fat fast >gaining mass fast >confidence through the roof >every milestone he gets excited with me >no longer depressed >he tells me he's proud of me I f------ love you dad, I'm so incredibly lucky I'm your son
>>47921481 (OP) # Dad got me through depression >Took me to the gym >Encouraged me to go out and get exercise even if it's just walking the dog >can't lift s--- at first but progress becomes noticeable >enjoy the walks through nature with my pup >dad encourages me to do martial arts >join MMA gym doing mostly Muay Thai >pretty much addicted to it >love the pain >changes his eating habits to help me get used to new healthy diet >losing fat fast >gaining mass fast >confidence through the roof >every milestone he gets excited with me >no longer depressed >he tells me he's proud of me I f------ love you dad, I'm so incredibly lucky I'm your son

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Anon is a philosopher? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)20:26:41 No.849995996 >be me >a philosopher >be me? they are based, de not quarret with them V they are shills, ignore them." -Nepetetus 338 KB JPG
Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)20:26:41 No.849995996 >be me >a philosopher >be me? they are based, de not quarret with them V they are shills, ignore them." -Nepetetus 338 KB JPG

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Anon finishes the game | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 543509053 2 sa. önce •0. >agree with the antagonist >die to him intentionally >uninstall game and tell everyone you finished it 102,8 kB JPG 9 REPLİES 6 İMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 543509053 2 sa. önce •0. >agree with the antagonist >die to him intentionally >uninstall game and tell everyone you finished it 102,8 kB JPG 9 REPLİES 6 İMAGES REPLY

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Anon does a presentation | /r/Greentext

> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along >no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" >teacher walks out of room > mfw
> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along >no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" >teacher walks out of room > mfw

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Anons scared | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/30/18(Fri)21:02:29 No.49591017 >played Red Dead Redemption with autistic 8yo step-sister >all she did was walk around skinning animals and giggling >mfw she killed a prostitute and asked me why she couldn't skin 1.48 MB GIF her >>49591073 #
: Anonymous 11/30/18(Fri)21:02:29 No.49591017 >played Red Dead Redemption with autistic 8yo step-sister >all she did was walk around skinning animals and giggling >mfw she killed a prostitute and asked me why she couldn't skin 1.48 MB GIF her >>49591073 #

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anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)00:15:12 No.853959815 >be me >28yo NΕET >3 AM >really want Waffle House grilled steak melt >can't drive, never learned >try to wake mom up to take me there but she keeps telling me to go back to sleep >start howling so the dog starts barking loudly until 34 KB JPG she finally gets up >drives me to waffle house >get there, remember that local one closes at 2 AM >nearest 24 hour waffle house is 45 minutes away >mom refuses to take me, offering McDonald's instead >grab the steering wheel and veer off the side of the road, threatening to kill us both if she doesn't take me >she drives me to the 24 hr waffle house >mfw she cried the whole 45 minutes back while I enjoyed my grilled steak melt F------ normalfags, when will they learn?
: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)00:15:12 No.853959815 >be me >28yo NΕET >3 AM >really want Waffle House grilled steak melt >can't drive, never learned >try to wake mom up to take me there but she keeps telling me to go back to sleep >start howling so the dog starts barking loudly until 34 KB JPG she finally gets up >drives me to waffle house >get there, remember that local one closes at 2 AM >nearest 24 hour waffle house is 45 minutes away >mom refuses to take me, offering McDonald's instead >grab the steering wheel and veer off the side of the road, threatening to kill us both if she doesn't take me >she drives me to the 24 hr waffle house >mfw she cried the whole 45 minutes back while I enjoyed my grilled steak melt F------ normalfags, when will they learn?

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Don't shut, I mean shoot | /r/Greentext

25m (5/8 21:04) · 853969913 2 Re · 1 Img · JPG · 154KB · (1134 × 1344) 1 Reply Please tell me I'm not the only one. >be me >be about 15min ago >wake up after a party and have to drive 1.5hrs to get home >really need to take a s--- but can't because of fear of public toilets >speeding to get home fast >get about 15min away from place of residency >cop car turns on lights and pulls me over, only doing 10 over so no biggy >s--- on the cusp of leaving anus >don't want ticket and have no other reason for speeding apart from needing to s--- >get idea >s--- myself >absolutely unleash the force from within me >cop comes up to window >"license and registra..." >cop gags >ishitmyself.exe >get let free with no fine >got home showered and cleaned myself up >avoided fine so happy but car smells like s--- I think there is no coming back from this one bros
25m (5/8 21:04) · 853969913 2 Re · 1 Img · JPG · 154KB · (1134 × 1344) 1 Reply Please tell me I'm not the only one. >be me >be about 15min ago >wake up after a party and have to drive 1.5hrs to get home >really need to take a s--- but can't because of fear of public toilets >speeding to get home fast >get about 15min away from place of residency >cop car turns on lights and pulls me over, only doing 10 over so no biggy >s--- on the cusp of leaving anus >don't want ticket and have no other reason for speeding apart from needing to s--- >get idea >s--- myself >absolutely unleash the force from within me >cop comes up to window >"license and registra..." >cop gags >ishitmyself.exe >get let free with no fine >got home showered and cleaned myself up >avoided fine so happy but car smells like s--- I think there is no coming back from this one bros

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Anon did the math | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/02/19(Tue)22:42:23 No.803727279 >be me >redditfag >see belle Delphine is selling her used bath water for $30 >wut.exe >mathtime.png >one tub of water, 80 gallons, is 38 68 KB JPG cents >assume little vial of water is 8 oz >use google to convert >10240 oz in 80 gallons >each vial is 30 f------ dollars >iamamathwizard.json >finally see what this thot is making >this pink haired bitch is making $38,400 per tub of water >f------ what This f------ w----'s profit margin is a little over 10 million percent. All thanks to these thirsty little teenagers.
: Anonymous 07/02/19(Tue)22:42:23 No.803727279 >be me >redditfag >see belle Delphine is selling her used bath water for $30 >wut.exe >mathtime.png >one tub of water, 80 gallons, is 38 68 KB JPG cents >assume little vial of water is 8 oz >use google to convert >10240 oz in 80 gallons >each vial is 30 f------ dollars >iamamathwizard.json >finally see what this thot is making >this pink haired bitch is making $38,400 per tub of water >f------ what This f------ w----'s profit margin is a little over 10 million percent. All thanks to these thirsty little teenagers.

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Anon's childhood nickname continues to haunt him | /r/Greentext

>into the cartoon "Osmosis Jones" as a kid >watch it nearly every day from age 4-7 >some years pass >im 12 watching p--- for the first time >i try to peel back my foreskin like I see in these videos >its impossible, excruciating pain 683 KB PNG >go to the doctor, I have to get circumcised >its a painful procedure, miss a week of school and everything >as im laying in bed recovering, my dad starts calling me "Phimosis Jones" >a day or two later, one his colleagues has to come over to the house >he introduces me as "my son PJ" and gives me a wink >starts calling me 'PJ' more than my real name >my sisters and mom start calling me PJ too >im now 25 and all my friends and family call me PJ despite my real name starting with a T >when meeting new people they inevitably ask how I got the nickname >I have to tell them about my childhood phimosis >most people get really weirded out by it its not fair, release me from this hell bros
>into the cartoon "Osmosis Jones" as a kid >watch it nearly every day from age 4-7 >some years pass >im 12 watching p--- for the first time >i try to peel back my foreskin like I see in these videos >its impossible, excruciating pain 683 KB PNG >go to the doctor, I have to get circumcised >its a painful procedure, miss a week of school and everything >as im laying in bed recovering, my dad starts calling me "Phimosis Jones" >a day or two later, one his colleagues has to come over to the house >he introduces me as "my son PJ" and gives me a wink >starts calling me 'PJ' more than my real name >my sisters and mom start calling me PJ too >im now 25 and all my friends and family call me PJ despite my real name starting with a T >when meeting new people they inevitably ask how I got the nickname >I have to tell them about my childhood phimosis >most people get really weirded out by it its not fair, release me from this hell bros

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Anon mustn't fulfill his dreams | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 1ta/DtoM) E 02/02/21(Tue)00:43:18 No.12055241 >be me >7 >forced to do karate >slack off every time >dad yells at me >asks me if i want to join clown school >i said yes 62 KB JPG >gets even angrier >mfw i dont get to join clown school
: Anonymous (ID: 1ta/DtoM) E 02/02/21(Tue)00:43:18 No.12055241 >be me >7 >forced to do karate >slack off every time >dad yells at me >asks me if i want to join clown school >i said yes 62 KB JPG >gets even angrier >mfw i dont get to join clown school

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