Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon's life is ruined | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: oaM30+zh 11/18/18(Sun)00:26:12 No.193822806 His ex accused him of an attack that could have meant >your ex-gf accuses you of breaking into her home, assaulting her, and carving an 'X' in her neck >police immediately arrest you and charge you with burglary and assault that can get you life in life in prison. A selfie saved him. 213 KB JPG prison >your parents get $150,000 in debt trying to hire a lawyer and post your bail >people are convinced you did it and you have no alibi to say otherwise >your mom suddenly finds a selfie pic you sent her that was dated at the time of the assault >turns out that pic clears you of all charges since it placed you away from the scene of the crime >your ex-gf gets off scott-free with no charges for lying while you had your life ruined
: Anonymous (ID: oaM30+zh 11/18/18(Sun)00:26:12 No.193822806 His ex accused him of an attack that could have meant >your ex-gf accuses you of breaking into her home, assaulting her, and carving an 'X' in her neck >police immediately arrest you and charge you with burglary and assault that can get you life in life in prison. A selfie saved him. 213 KB JPG prison >your parents get $150,000 in debt trying to hire a lawyer and post your bail >people are convinced you did it and you have no alibi to say otherwise >your mom suddenly finds a selfie pic you sent her that was dated at the time of the assault >turns out that pic clears you of all charges since it placed you away from the scene of the crime >your ex-gf gets off scott-free with no charges for lying while you had your life ruined

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon wont accept he's gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)15:51:58 No.63575947 File: Shinji Ikari5049_aunnamed.jpg (26 KB, 512x403) >>63577437 >be me >super straight >mom is dead >dad hates me >kicks me out >girl i live with is drunk and always yells at me for making mistakes >she hates me >there is this girl i have to work with >she has blue hair >she never talks to me >she hates me >the girl i like is so full of her self >she has to be the best everything >calls me stupid all the time >she hates me >i hate myself >new guy in school >hes very very gay and is very very open about it >he is the only one who is nice to me >he tells me he loves me >he is the only one in my enter life who has ever told me that >he is a about angel >why cant i stop thinking about him? >why do i like him so much when i am straight? im so f----- up
Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)15:51:58 No.63575947 File: Shinji Ikari5049_aunnamed.jpg (26 KB, 512x403) >>63577437 >be me >super straight >mom is dead >dad hates me >kicks me out >girl i live with is drunk and always yells at me for making mistakes >she hates me >there is this girl i have to work with >she has blue hair >she never talks to me >she hates me >the girl i like is so full of her self >she has to be the best everything >calls me stupid all the time >she hates me >i hate myself >new guy in school >hes very very gay and is very very open about it >he is the only one who is nice to me >he tells me he loves me >he is the only one in my enter life who has ever told me that >he is a about angel >why cant i stop thinking about him? >why do i like him so much when i am straight? im so f----- up

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon enjoys home alone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/18(Thu)12:30:33 No.46741011 >be me >be 2 weeks ago >parents say they want to go to italy >say that I have to work and I can't take 2 weeks off 6 KB JPG >ai lied >HomeAlone.GIF >buy half ounce of weed >buy junk good every day >FeelsGoodMan 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 07/12/18(Thu)12:30:33 No.46741011 >be me >be 2 weeks ago >parents say they want to go to italy >say that I have to work and I can't take 2 weeks off 6 KB JPG >ai lied >HomeAlone.GIF >buy half ounce of weed >buy junk good every day >FeelsGoodMan 2 Replies View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

No stupid questions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)07:21:03 No.63571464 >delete any and all social media >literal hermit >suicidal tried to kill myself 3 separate times last year >why am I such a f--- up ? AMA if anyone's interested ill try my best to answer any and all questions ! But im only replying to decent questions nothing stupid ! >>63571481 # >>63572141 # : Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)07:22:45 No.63571481 >>63571464 # how do you manage to fail 3 times >>63571489 # : Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)07:23:41 No.63571489 >>63571481 # Sheer stupidity i guess !?! >>63572024 # : Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)08:07:38 No.63572024 >>63571489 # good luck on #4 >>63572039 #
: Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)07:21:03 No.63571464 >delete any and all social media >literal hermit >suicidal tried to kill myself 3 separate times last year >why am I such a f--- up ? AMA if anyone's interested ill try my best to answer any and all questions ! But im only replying to decent questions nothing stupid ! >>63571481 # >>63572141 # : Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)07:22:45 No.63571481 >>63571464 # how do you manage to fail 3 times >>63571489 # : Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)07:23:41 No.63571489 >>63571481 # Sheer stupidity i guess !?! >>63572024 # : Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)08:07:38 No.63572024 >>63571489 # good luck on #4 >>63572039 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon meet larpers | /r/Greentext

73 dtac-T ll O N 42% 1 9:37 * B/s >be me >get in motor vehicle accident >see a random van with lights on hurtle towards me by the side of the road >300lb fat guy in a gorka gets out and waddles towards me >ask "are you a paramedic?" >he replies "Imao no I'm not dying for big pharma nice try Shlomo" >see him empty a Wish.com first aid kit onto the floor and start digging through random bits of equipment >ask "what qualifications do you have?" >he replies "Imao anyone can learn to be a paramedic from YouTube videos, civilians know more about emergency medicine than your average paramedic anyway" >starts coming towards me with a 22 gauge cannula >ask "have you ever even operated on a patient before?" >he replies "Imao no experience doesn't mean anything anyway" and shoves the decomp needle directly into my heart and kills me This is what you army man larpers are like.
73 dtac-T ll O N 42% 1 9:37 * B/s >be me >get in motor vehicle accident >see a random van with lights on hurtle towards me by the side of the road >300lb fat guy in a gorka gets out and waddles towards me >ask "are you a paramedic?" >he replies "Imao no I'm not dying for big pharma nice try Shlomo" >see him empty a Wish.com first aid kit onto the floor and start digging through random bits of equipment >ask "what qualifications do you have?" >he replies "Imao anyone can learn to be a paramedic from YouTube videos, civilians know more about emergency medicine than your average paramedic anyway" >starts coming towards me with a 22 gauge cannula >ask "have you ever even operated on a patient before?" >he replies "Imao no experience doesn't mean anything anyway" and shoves the decomp needle directly into my heart and kills me This is what you army man larpers are like.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext gesture font

Anon seems gay | /r/Greentext

>be me >casually talk to my twink roommate after football match >invites me to play batsu game on super smash bros >whoever did lose the set,gotta drink 2 vodka shots 66 KB JPG >after 10 rounds we were super waster and tipsy >we both start feeling an electric current in the air as both our body temperature raised up >we had sex >yesterday >woke up next to him today >cuddle a little cuz why not >we had sex again >lt was hot as f---, but I want to kill myself because I'm not a homosexual What do,im not gay and i don't want other people to find out, especially my super-conservative family
>be me >casually talk to my twink roommate after football match >invites me to play batsu game on super smash bros >whoever did lose the set,gotta drink 2 vodka shots 66 KB JPG >after 10 rounds we were super waster and tipsy >we both start feeling an electric current in the air as both our body temperature raised up >we had sex >yesterday >woke up next to him today >cuddle a little cuz why not >we had sex again >lt was hot as f---, but I want to kill myself because I'm not a homosexual What do,im not gay and i don't want other people to find out, especially my super-conservative family

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon watched invincible | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)06:05:19 No.122719443 19423857235643qtr.jpg 22 KB JPG >>122718884 (OP) # >Let me break it down for you, Mark. Your mother and I have a relationship that's all about a master/slave dynamic. When I said she was more like a pet to me, I meant that in the most literal way possible. Remember that time you found a dog collar under the couch and I told you it's because we were getting you a dog? That was a lie, son. Truthfully, your mom likes it when I put her on a leash and walk her aroun the backyard. She's usually naked, of course. I can't explain why, but the whole thing is her idea. She'll piss on trees, sleep in dog cages, chew up furniture - she one took a full-sized, adult woman s--- in my Dockers. Your mother is one f------up slut, Mark. And I love her, but I'm not bringing that energy back to Viltrum with me. Frankly? She scares me sometimes. I don't know who molested her or how they did it, but there is some dark juju in that woman's head and I just don't know if l'm strong enough to f--- it all away.
Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)06:05:19 No.122719443 19423857235643qtr.jpg 22 KB JPG >>122718884 (OP) # >Let me break it down for you, Mark. Your mother and I have a relationship that's all about a master/slave dynamic. When I said she was more like a pet to me, I meant that in the most literal way possible. Remember that time you found a dog collar under the couch and I told you it's because we were getting you a dog? That was a lie, son. Truthfully, your mom likes it when I put her on a leash and walk her aroun the backyard. She's usually naked, of course. I can't explain why, but the whole thing is her idea. She'll piss on trees, sleep in dog cages, chew up furniture - she one took a full-sized, adult woman s--- in my Dockers. Your mother is one f------up slut, Mark. And I love her, but I'm not bringing that energy back to Viltrum with me. Frankly? She scares me sometimes. I don't know who molested her or how they did it, but there is some dark juju in that woman's head and I just don't know if l'm strong enough to f--- it all away.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is a 19 y/o boomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Are you a zoomer boomer, anon? 05/08/21(Sat)09:48:42 No.63574416 >be me The 16 year old Boomer Alrely fiate eretrering >eat breakfast with family Dale vident nd al mntis More moture thon his parents >sip coffee >some kids are visiting >don't understand anything >sip coffee >try to make a joke Ca e wut e with ee t fe s ing er ot Relig. tan wthait purt w't let hite ge churh Ptes t ml t nd anatel de pr Teenuge id lifu erii 341 KB PNG >no one laughs >... >sip coffee >tfw mid-life crisis at 19 Share your experiences being a zoomer boomer
: Anonymous Are you a zoomer boomer, anon? 05/08/21(Sat)09:48:42 No.63574416 >be me The 16 year old Boomer Alrely fiate eretrering >eat breakfast with family Dale vident nd al mntis More moture thon his parents >sip coffee >some kids are visiting >don't understand anything >sip coffee >try to make a joke Ca e wut e with ee t fe s ing er ot Relig. tan wthait purt w't let hite ge churh Ptes t ml t nd anatel de pr Teenuge id lifu erii 341 KB PNG >no one laughs >... >sip coffee >tfw mid-life crisis at 19 Share your experiences being a zoomer boomer

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon messed it up | /r/Greentext

Just got a job >20 year old autist >working drive through at mcdonalds >"I'll have 2 chicken sandwiches 1 with no tomato" >"which one do you not want tomato on?" >some brief silence and a muffled sound >"either one, man" >messed up their change ttoo
Just got a job >20 year old autist >working drive through at mcdonalds >"I'll have 2 chicken sandwiches 1 with no tomato" >"which one do you not want tomato on?" >some brief silence and a muffled sound >"either one, man" >messed up their change ttoo

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon becomes polish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/03/21 (Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me 62 KB JPG
Anonymous 05/03/21 (Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me 62 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font

Anon feels nostalgic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)16:23:22 No.62555204 >>62553781 (OP) # >late 90's >10 >would finish school on a friday >eat dinner and then turn on my 496 KB PNG N64 >play Mario Kart, Mario 64, Goldeneye etc >bed time at 11:00 >would get into bed >pretend to fall asleep >wait until my mother went to sleep >boot up my N64 again >play all night I'd love to go back to being that carefree. Just once.
: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)16:23:22 No.62555204 >>62553781 (OP) # >late 90's >10 >would finish school on a friday >eat dinner and then turn on my 496 KB PNG N64 >play Mario Kart, Mario 64, Goldeneye etc >bed time at 11:00 >would get into bed >pretend to fall asleep >wait until my mother went to sleep >boot up my N64 again >play all night I'd love to go back to being that carefree. Just once.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext recipe terrestrial plant natural foods

Norf Durham Forties | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)10:54:48 No.63578273 "Cant be racist if there's none af zm ere >one chance at life >born in North England >spend most weekends drinking beer and watching my local football team with my friends >go to random cities every weekend to watch my local football team play away Neks TURN 31 KB JPG games >often end up drinking in the city centre after >fun times Kinda comfy being a brit if you ignore all the stupid b------- like the horrible classism
: Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)10:54:48 No.63578273 "Cant be racist if there's none af zm ere >one chance at life >born in North England >spend most weekends drinking beer and watching my local football team with my friends >go to random cities every weekend to watch my local football team play away Neks TURN 31 KB JPG games >often end up drinking in the city centre after >fun times Kinda comfy being a brit if you ignore all the stupid b------- like the horrible classism

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon wakes up on the wrong side of the bed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/19/19(Thu)06:11:48 No.816549375 >woke up >took a s--- >got out of bed 8 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 12/19/19(Thu)06:11:48 No.816549375 >woke up >took a s--- >got out of bed 8 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext happy font

Anon is a serial shitter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)12:50:27 No.850975316 >Be me >Sophomore year in college >Periodically s--- in the top tank of toilets at fraternity and sorority houses during parties >Word spreading around campus about a "serial s------" 77 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)12:55:14 No.850975586 So it's been you at UVA m-----------?
: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)12:50:27 No.850975316 >Be me >Sophomore year in college >Periodically s--- in the top tank of toilets at fraternity and sorority houses during parties >Word spreading around campus about a "serial s------" 77 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)12:55:14 No.850975586 So it's been you at UVA m-----------?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon does a self-experiment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/20(Thu)01:49:35 No.57144925 CLASSICAL CONDITIONING BEFORE CONDITIONING neutral unconditioned stimulus stimulus DURING CONDITIONING AFTER CONDITIONING conditioned stimulus healthline Pavlovs-conditioning-01-1296x1080.jpg 71 KB JPG >Be fatass >Read about Patlov's dogs >Use classical conditioning to make myself associate junk food with pain by pulling a rubber band on my arm whenever I think of junk food >Need to get myself to associate healthy food with pleasure >Start jacking off to pictures of fruit to accomplish this >Now sexually attracted to fruit Guys I didn't even lose any f------ weight and now I can't get off without looking at apples and pears or some s---. Wft do I do? I don't know who else to ask about this.
: Anonymous 08/27/20(Thu)01:49:35 No.57144925 CLASSICAL CONDITIONING BEFORE CONDITIONING neutral unconditioned stimulus stimulus DURING CONDITIONING AFTER CONDITIONING conditioned stimulus healthline Pavlovs-conditioning-01-1296x1080.jpg 71 KB JPG >Be fatass >Read about Patlov's dogs >Use classical conditioning to make myself associate junk food with pain by pulling a rubber band on my arm whenever I think of junk food >Need to get myself to associate healthy food with pleasure >Start jacking off to pictures of fruit to accomplish this >Now sexually attracted to fruit Guys I didn't even lose any f------ weight and now I can't get off without looking at apples and pears or some s---. Wft do I do? I don't know who else to ask about this.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext vertebrate product organism working animal font giraffe carnivore fawn

Anon rests | /r/Greentext

>be today >be Australian >Woke up sick >Call work to let them know I can't come in >"Yeahnoworries.mate" 9 KB PNG >contact local GP >Appointment free and same day because subsidised social healthcare >Paid sick leave because strong labour movement that guarantees working rights >Now nobody at work will catch my cold. >Food for customers not contaminated by my cold. >Company doesn't lose money because my sick leave is government subsidised >All bills continue to be paid on time, my day is stress-free because I have time to relax and recover. Today is yet another day l'm glad l'm not an American.
>be today >be Australian >Woke up sick >Call work to let them know I can't come in >"Yeahnoworries.mate" 9 KB PNG >contact local GP >Appointment free and same day because subsidised social healthcare >Paid sick leave because strong labour movement that guarantees working rights >Now nobody at work will catch my cold. >Food for customers not contaminated by my cold. >Company doesn't lose money because my sick leave is government subsidised >All bills continue to be paid on time, my day is stress-free because I have time to relax and recover. Today is yet another day l'm glad l'm not an American.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext hat fedora happy font

Anon is a mastermind | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 5LNU3RNK ) E 06/22/19(Sat)10:34:49 No.217104587 >>217101455 (OP) # >neighbor puts house up for sale >grow out grass and throw trash on the lawn >buy a s----- car, leave it on blocks in the driveway 81 KB JPG >buy neighbor's house for a steal >cut grass, clean up trash, scrap car >sell neighbor's house >mfw 40% profit
: Anonymous (ID: 5LNU3RNK ) E 06/22/19(Sat)10:34:49 No.217104587 >>217101455 (OP) # >neighbor puts house up for sale >grow out grass and throw trash on the lawn >buy a s----- car, leave it on blocks in the driveway 81 KB JPG >buy neighbor's house for a steal >cut grass, clean up trash, scrap car >sell neighbor's house >mfw 40% profit

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon on annoying Youtubers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)22:04:31 No.62494875 >start up a YT video >"WHAT IS UP YALL?!" >closes video 15 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)22:11:05 No.62494957 >>62494875 (OP)# >start a YT video >"dont forget to like, subscribe, and hit that notification bell" >"follow me on twitter and instagram" >"oh dont forget to subscribe to my patreon for more content" >"and use my referral link to get 50% off faggotshare" >"and pay for my college loans, hospital bills, car insurance, taxes..."
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)22:04:31 No.62494875 >start up a YT video >"WHAT IS UP YALL?!" >closes video 15 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)22:11:05 No.62494957 >>62494875 (OP)# >start a YT video >"dont forget to like, subscribe, and hit that notification bell" >"follow me on twitter and instagram" >"oh dont forget to subscribe to my patreon for more content" >"and use my referral link to get 50% off faggotshare" >"and pay for my college loans, hospital bills, car insurance, taxes..."

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is a 4chanate one | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)10:45:56 No.853096777 AC7FD7BA-AFDD-4D30-A4E7-16FA9E8C717D.jpg 214 KB JPG >it be me! >it be me! I am a 4chanate son, yeah!
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)10:45:56 No.853096777 AC7FD7BA-AFDD-4D30-A4E7-16FA9E8C717D.jpg 214 KB JPG >it be me! >it be me! I am a 4chanate son, yeah!

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext musical instrument air gun shotgun cartoon machine gun

Anon is very generous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)11:16:11 No.853912908 >be me, waiter at a popular place around town >Boomer customers berating me for things that aren't my fault >been doing this s--- too long >write down their credit card 144 KB JPG information >l bring a notebook to work Iuse for orders and notes >have about 100 credit card numbers and info saved from the last 6 months of COVID KARENS >anyone want some free s---? : Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)11:34:21 No.853913983 Sure would love a drone
: Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)11:16:11 No.853912908 >be me, waiter at a popular place around town >Boomer customers berating me for things that aren't my fault >been doing this s--- too long >write down their credit card 144 KB JPG information >l bring a notebook to work Iuse for orders and notes >have about 100 credit card numbers and info saved from the last 6 months of COVID KARENS >anyone want some free s---? : Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)11:34:21 No.853913983 Sure would love a drone

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font terrestrial plant