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Anon goes on family feud | /r/Greentext

family feud time bois Anonymous 07/30/19(Tue)20:52:26 No.118860471 D »118860921 >Steve Harvey: "We asked 100 people, what is the male reproductive organ?" >Contestant: "The penis" >SH: "A WUH... HUH??" >audience erupts into laughter >Steve Harvey grabs onto podium to support himself >laughter gets even louder >SH: "O lordy.." >one man goes into cardiac arrest and many others begin vomiting profusely from laughing too hard >SH: "YOU PEOPLE NEED HELP" >the Earth shatters and Satan rises from the underworld to claim unworthy souls >the universe begins rapidly closing in on itself >SH: (putting on a weary voice) "Survey says.." >the board shows 100 for "penis" >Harvey is able to get off one more shocked look before existence as we know it comes to an end
family feud time bois Anonymous 07/30/19(Tue)20:52:26 No.118860471 D »118860921 >Steve Harvey: "We asked 100 people, what is the male reproductive organ?" >Contestant: "The penis" >SH: "A WUH... HUH??" >audience erupts into laughter >Steve Harvey grabs onto podium to support himself >laughter gets even louder >SH: "O lordy.." >one man goes into cardiac arrest and many others begin vomiting profusely from laughing too hard >SH: "YOU PEOPLE NEED HELP" >the Earth shatters and Satan rises from the underworld to claim unworthy souls >the universe begins rapidly closing in on itself >SH: (putting on a weary voice) "Survey says.." >the board shows 100 for "penis" >Harvey is able to get off one more shocked look before existence as we know it comes to an end

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Anon dies young | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)22:57:18 No.853730171 KEK 20-21 sQ.15 F.1929 kek.jpg 113 KB JPG >be me >rocking out with my rich pharaoh parents along the Nile >doing kid crap, causing trouble with the gods >die young and parents toss me in shallow grave >dug up hundreds of years later >Egyptians tag me as the "KEK" kid >pic related
: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)22:57:18 No.853730171 KEK 20-21 sQ.15 F.1929 kek.jpg 113 KB JPG >be me >rocking out with my rich pharaoh parents along the Nile >doing kid crap, causing trouble with the gods >die young and parents toss me in shallow grave >dug up hundreds of years later >Egyptians tag me as the "KEK" kid >pic related

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Anon goes to the club | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)19:28:59 No.50517462 >Oh, s---, whats good Anon! I didn't know you were coming out to the club tonight! 69 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)19:30:05 No.50517481 >>50517462 (OP)# >haha what's up my n-----
: Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)19:28:59 No.50517462 >Oh, s---, whats good Anon! I didn't know you were coming out to the club tonight! 69 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)19:30:05 No.50517481 >>50517462 (OP)# >haha what's up my n-----

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When reality hits Anon... | /r/Greentext

>be me >24yo anon >meet girl on tinder >she's super cute >possiblegf.jpeg >not sure what a 9/10 is 59 KB PNG doing with me >i'm a total 3/10 >have amazing sex >afterwards ask her what my appeal was >"oh my stepdad was really fat so it's sort of my fetish" >mfw
>be me >24yo anon >meet girl on tinder >she's super cute >possiblegf.jpeg >not sure what a 9/10 is 59 KB PNG doing with me >i'm a total 3/10 >have amazing sex >afterwards ask her what my appeal was >"oh my stepdad was really fat so it's sort of my fetish" >mfw

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Anon is a mastermind | /r/Greentext

6m (5/6 1:28) · 853737051 >>853728431 (OP) >Be me, like 6 or something >"Go outside anon" says mom >ok >gotta poop 15 minutes in >gotta stay outside until it starts getting dark >look at car parked outside >examine the bird poop on windshield >idea.jpeg >take off pants >dump brown toddler sized load all over windshield >some liquid s--- leaks down into the crease between the windshield and hood >pull pants back up, unwiped, and turn around to see my creation >theywillnevertellthedifference.gif >get beating that would make slaves shiver
6m (5/6 1:28) · 853737051 >>853728431 (OP) >Be me, like 6 or something >"Go outside anon" says mom >ok >gotta poop 15 minutes in >gotta stay outside until it starts getting dark >look at car parked outside >examine the bird poop on windshield >idea.jpeg >take off pants >dump brown toddler sized load all over windshield >some liquid s--- leaks down into the crease between the windshield and hood >pull pants back up, unwiped, and turn around to see my creation >theywillnevertellthedifference.gif >get beating that would make slaves shiver

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: HFU6OPWN ????? 05/05/21(Wed)20:43:29 No.320164057 >be me >In class, me and some sjw white girls are arguing about race and BLM, and stop asian hate movement Daddy >They say its "wite pepo's faul' ofcourseitis.jpg 64 KB JPG >ask how? >they come at me with b------- arguements >there is a semi popular Polish guy in my class, mention him and say that is it his fault too even though Poles didnt do anything that includes black people > they reply with "no, because he slav, not white" n---- what? since when are slavs not white? I agree he isnt the whitest of people because he looks like a syrian because of his tan but still, arent slavs one of the whitest people? explain this to me /pol/ im confused
: Anonymous (ID: HFU6OPWN ????? 05/05/21(Wed)20:43:29 No.320164057 >be me >In class, me and some sjw white girls are arguing about race and BLM, and stop asian hate movement Daddy >They say its "wite pepo's faul' ofcourseitis.jpg 64 KB JPG >ask how? >they come at me with b------- arguements >there is a semi popular Polish guy in my class, mention him and say that is it his fault too even though Poles didnt do anything that includes black people > they reply with "no, because he slav, not white" n---- what? since when are slavs not white? I agree he isnt the whitest of people because he looks like a syrian because of his tan but still, arent slavs one of the whitest people? explain this to me /pol/ im confused

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Anon receives internal peace | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)22:01:52 No.63533791 why do nofappers and p--- addicts keep fighting? just fap 3-4 times a week using only your imagination take the middle way pill 153 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)22:01:52 No.63533791 why do nofappers and p--- addicts keep fighting? just fap 3-4 times a week using only your imagination take the middle way pill 153 KB JPG

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anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 804062733 11 min. fa >be me >named David >be depressed for the past 4 years, almost killed myself a couple times >one day while eating with my mother she says that she gave me my name by the David and Goliath story >think about it 203,4 kB JPG >My depression is my Goliath >No matter how weak and insignificant I am I will prevail my Goliath and kill it >Start feeling better about myself Thanks mom.
Anonymous | 804062733 11 min. fa >be me >named David >be depressed for the past 4 years, almost killed myself a couple times >one day while eating with my mother she says that she gave me my name by the David and Goliath story >think about it 203,4 kB JPG >My depression is my Goliath >No matter how weak and insignificant I am I will prevail my Goliath and kill it >Start feeling better about myself Thanks mom.

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Femanon is self-conscious about her looks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Prolly single for life 05/05/21(Wed)10:58:16 No.63529547 Hello /r9k, femanon here. I wouldn't consider myself conventionally pretty, am never meant to find love. I'm not stereotypically horrendous >5'4 >110lbs >Default sims face except chubby 134 KB JPG cheeks and normie hair >Passive personality cuz no confidence Where to go from here 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)11:01:02 No.63529572 >>63529547 (OP) # try watching blacked
: Anonymous Prolly single for life 05/05/21(Wed)10:58:16 No.63529547 Hello /r9k, femanon here. I wouldn't consider myself conventionally pretty, am never meant to find love. I'm not stereotypically horrendous >5'4 >110lbs >Default sims face except chubby 134 KB JPG cheeks and normie hair >Passive personality cuz no confidence Where to go from here 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)11:01:02 No.63529572 >>63529547 (OP) # try watching blacked

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Anon is Abigail Shapiro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)08:27:30 No.853705361 8:55 I had a miscarriage Classically Abby · 43K views ·I day ago Screenshot_20210505-052324~3.png 1.33 MB PNG >be a hardcore jew conservative >pro life bimbo >get pregnant >happiest I've been since the pandemic >get my covid vaccine Uhoh.png >f------ miscarriage >go to hell for murdering my child Pic related
: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)08:27:30 No.853705361 8:55 I had a miscarriage Classically Abby · 43K views ·I day ago Screenshot_20210505-052324~3.png 1.33 MB PNG >be a hardcore jew conservative >pro life bimbo >get pregnant >happiest I've been since the pandemic >get my covid vaccine Uhoh.png >f------ miscarriage >go to hell for murdering my child Pic related

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Anon figures out how to speak polish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/03/21 (Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me 62 KB JPG
Anonymous 05/03/21 (Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me 62 KB JPG

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Anon is a truck driver | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)08:41:10 No.853686432 File: 20210501_110819.jpg (64 KB, 723x414) >> >be me >truck driver >truck parked in city center >sleep in truck, no toilet in sight >wake up, need to s--- HARD >put plastic bag on passenger seat >kneel over, push it out >feels good man >passenger door opens >co-worker asks for coffee >stares in shock for 3 seconds >says nothing, closes door >l wipe, put clothes on >throw bag into bin outside >give coworker coffe >pretend like nothing happened I wonder how many coworkers know about this now
Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)08:41:10 No.853686432 File: 20210501_110819.jpg (64 KB, 723x414) >> >be me >truck driver >truck parked in city center >sleep in truck, no toilet in sight >wake up, need to s--- HARD >put plastic bag on passenger seat >kneel over, push it out >feels good man >passenger door opens >co-worker asks for coffee >stares in shock for 3 seconds >says nothing, closes door >l wipe, put clothes on >throw bag into bin outside >give coworker coffe >pretend like nothing happened I wonder how many coworkers know about this now

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anon becomes a christian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)15:40:45 No.61062269 >l'm 27 and don't enjoy anything anymore >read the New Testament >become a Christian >Start practicing nofap >get a job 80 KB JPG >fix my relationship with my parents >start fasting and exercising frequently >quit p--- and m----------- >start practicing guitar >meditate everyday for 15 minutes >suddenly everything becomes enjoyable again >Even the sunlight is beautiful >walking down a forest trail is incredible >feel the best I've felt in years I'm 27 and I'm starting to enjoy things again. Is this the beginning of the road?
: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)15:40:45 No.61062269 >l'm 27 and don't enjoy anything anymore >read the New Testament >become a Christian >Start practicing nofap >get a job 80 KB JPG >fix my relationship with my parents >start fasting and exercising frequently >quit p--- and m----------- >start practicing guitar >meditate everyday for 15 minutes >suddenly everything becomes enjoyable again >Even the sunlight is beautiful >walking down a forest trail is incredible >feel the best I've felt in years I'm 27 and I'm starting to enjoy things again. Is this the beginning of the road?

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Anon almost wishes for a nuclear winter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/28/18(Wed)16:33:16 No.786016999 > be me > stationed in the Mojave >fuckmylife.jpeg >get a radio call >some mailman who helped us out is being attacked my fiends >haul ass over there with my 209 KB JPG squad >arrive and he's surrounded >he also has a granny t----- nightkin with him alongside some robotic eyeball >try to help out by snipping a few >mailman then literally pulls out drugs from his anus >he proceeds to pop pills, inject needles, and then smoke a bowl >he then pulls out a double barrel >mailman then gets a blank stare >kills 2 fiends >reloads and gets shot in the back >ignores it while reloading >kills the rest >he then looks at his watch and then is gone without saying a word >mfw
: Anonymous 11/28/18(Wed)16:33:16 No.786016999 > be me > stationed in the Mojave >fuckmylife.jpeg >get a radio call >some mailman who helped us out is being attacked my fiends >haul ass over there with my 209 KB JPG squad >arrive and he's surrounded >he also has a granny t----- nightkin with him alongside some robotic eyeball >try to help out by snipping a few >mailman then literally pulls out drugs from his anus >he proceeds to pop pills, inject needles, and then smoke a bowl >he then pulls out a double barrel >mailman then gets a blank stare >kills 2 fiends >reloads and gets shot in the back >ignores it while reloading >kills the rest >he then looks at his watch and then is gone without saying a word >mfw

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anon visits france | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 52818309 4 min. ago >visit france >they use "le" unironically 416.0 kB PNG
Anonymous | 52818309 4 min. ago >visit france >they use "le" unironically 416.0 kB PNG

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Anon has a minty fresh asshole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)23:37:54 No.848520127 >mild throat infection >no, not the rona >gotta suckle on some pills throughout the day to ease the pain >pills are minty fresh as f--- >need to take a s--- 15 KB JPG >s---.exe >spit on toilet paper as per usual because f--- dry toilet paper roughing up my sweet boipussy >realize too late that my spit is nothing but spicy- minty goodness that is now smeared all over my a------ >mfw
: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)23:37:54 No.848520127 >mild throat infection >no, not the rona >gotta suckle on some pills throughout the day to ease the pain >pills are minty fresh as f--- >need to take a s--- 15 KB JPG >s---.exe >spit on toilet paper as per usual because f--- dry toilet paper roughing up my sweet boipussy >realize too late that my spit is nothing but spicy- minty goodness that is now smeared all over my a------ >mfw

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Anon is still an introvert | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)20:23:34 No.853692455 >be an introvert >cannot talk at the parties >just stand at the corner and watch people >from time to time someone approaches and tries to 'fix' me giving me advice or 14 KB JPG whatever >missed on so many good moments and friendship opportunities >anyhow >get a VR headset >install VR Chat >join a crowded room >still an introvert Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)20:23:34 No.853692455 >be an introvert >cannot talk at the parties >just stand at the corner and watch people >from time to time someone approaches and tries to 'fix' me giving me advice or 14 KB JPG whatever >missed on so many good moments and friendship opportunities >anyhow >get a VR headset >install VR Chat >join a crowded room >still an introvert Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon is not the main character | /r/Greentext

>be bullied by chad throughout highschool >think it's okay because I spent time studying to get into my country's top uni and one day I'll show them 937 KB GIF >he also gets accepted in my uni and we're in the same f------ courses for the most part >continues bullying me >think it's okay because I invest in crypto and my coins are doing fine IIII eventually become rich and III show them >btc recent 20-25% dip makes every single of my coins crash >see on facebook class group that my bully bought doge at 3c and has already done more than a 10x so far Holy f------ s---. It's so f------ unfair. This guy gets to ruin my f------ highschool and college years, and I dont even get to feel superior ONCE in my entire f------ life.
>be bullied by chad throughout highschool >think it's okay because I spent time studying to get into my country's top uni and one day I'll show them 937 KB GIF >he also gets accepted in my uni and we're in the same f------ courses for the most part >continues bullying me >think it's okay because I invest in crypto and my coins are doing fine IIII eventually become rich and III show them >btc recent 20-25% dip makes every single of my coins crash >see on facebook class group that my bully bought doge at 3c and has already done more than a 10x so far Holy f------ s---. It's so f------ unfair. This guy gets to ruin my f------ highschool and college years, and I dont even get to feel superior ONCE in my entire f------ life.

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Classic /b/ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)09:28:38 No.850628048 >go to /b/ >see indian kid get crushed by an elevator >close /b/ 49 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)09:28:38 No.850628048 >go to /b/ >see indian kid get crushed by an elevator >close /b/ 49 KB PNG

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Anons mom found out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)12:09:33 No.853691974 >be me >morning >go to school >while l'm at school mom enters my room to leave fresh laundry on my bed >she smells a strange scent >she checks my room and finds my poop drawer 245 KB JPG It's f------ over, guys View Thread
: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)12:09:33 No.853691974 >be me >morning >go to school >while l'm at school mom enters my room to leave fresh laundry on my bed >she smells a strange scent >she checks my room and finds my poop drawer 245 KB JPG It's f------ over, guys View Thread

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