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: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)09:28:38 No.850628048 >go to /b/ >see indian kid get crushed by an elevator >close /b/ 49 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)09:28:38 No.850628048 >go to /b/ >see indian kid get crushed by an elevator >close /b/ 49 KB PNG

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Anons mom found out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)12:09:33 No.853691974 >be me >morning >go to school >while l'm at school mom enters my room to leave fresh laundry on my bed >she smells a strange scent >she checks my room and finds my poop drawer 245 KB JPG It's f------ over, guys View Thread
: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)12:09:33 No.853691974 >be me >morning >go to school >while l'm at school mom enters my room to leave fresh laundry on my bed >she smells a strange scent >she checks my room and finds my poop drawer 245 KB JPG It's f------ over, guys View Thread

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Anon baits the Thots | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 35699023 >thought of a fun game I can play >make a fake Chad tinder and see how many matches I can get >make the account get a picture of a Chad on google images >literally call him Chad >make the most normie bio I can think of and fill it with emojis >swipe right on every girl >made the account on Monday already have 60 matches >girls actually message me first >at first I f--- with them but they still keep messaging me looking for Chad c--- >starting to get attached to these girls >tfw they would never date me as myself >tfw the only time l'm not scared to talk to girls is when I'm texting as Chad Th-this game isn't fun anymore robots
Anonymous 35699023 >thought of a fun game I can play >make a fake Chad tinder and see how many matches I can get >make the account get a picture of a Chad on google images >literally call him Chad >make the most normie bio I can think of and fill it with emojis >swipe right on every girl >made the account on Monday already have 60 matches >girls actually message me first >at first I f--- with them but they still keep messaging me looking for Chad c--- >starting to get attached to these girls >tfw they would never date me as myself >tfw the only time l'm not scared to talk to girls is when I'm texting as Chad Th-this game isn't fun anymore robots

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Anon is a nice guy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come >she was too drunk after party to 17 KB JPG drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?
: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come >she was too drunk after party to 17 KB JPG drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?

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Anon doesn't like Amazons space program | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)20:22:58 No.13075889 >>13075737 (OP) # >be blue origin >make a video titled "it´s time" >everyone gets hyped about new glenn >it´s a video about flying didlo i hate them so f------ much
: Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)20:22:58 No.13075889 >>13075737 (OP) # >be blue origin >make a video titled "it´s time" >everyone gets hyped about new glenn >it´s a video about flying didlo i hate them so f------ much

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Anon has super powers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 853672756 43 min ago >Parents make me go to a therapist because shat in the shower again >Sit completely still and make direct eye contact the entire time >Answer all of his questions with a question >At the end I shake his hand and look into his eyes >He looks away Is this what power feels like? 52.4 kB JPG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY ... Anonymous 853673362 36 min ago >>853672756 (OP) >>is this what power feels like? Power, no. Autism, yes.
Anonymous 853672756 43 min ago >Parents make me go to a therapist because shat in the shower again >Sit completely still and make direct eye contact the entire time >Answer all of his questions with a question >At the end I shake his hand and look into his eyes >He looks away Is this what power feels like? 52.4 kB JPG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY ... Anonymous 853673362 36 min ago >>853672756 (OP) >>is this what power feels like? Power, no. Autism, yes.

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Anon meets a girl | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets BTFO | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)05:55:53 No.63077012 >DUDE DO YOU REMEMBER 2XXX or 1XXX I MISS MY CHILDHOOD SO MUCH BROS WHY CAN'T IT BE LIKE THE OLD DAY- 81 KB JPG SHUT THE F--- UP. I hate nostalgia tards so much. You know how tony soprano says that remember when is the lowest form of conversation? He is f------ correct, I literally cannot stand the amount of nostalgic sentiment on the internet and even IRL. F--- OFF. : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)05:58:48 No.63077044 >>63077012 (OP) # Do you remember when op wasnt a f-----? Yeah me neither. 185 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)05:55:53 No.63077012 >DUDE DO YOU REMEMBER 2XXX or 1XXX I MISS MY CHILDHOOD SO MUCH BROS WHY CAN'T IT BE LIKE THE OLD DAY- 81 KB JPG SHUT THE F--- UP. I hate nostalgia tards so much. You know how tony soprano says that remember when is the lowest form of conversation? He is f------ correct, I literally cannot stand the amount of nostalgic sentiment on the internet and even IRL. F--- OFF. : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)05:58:48 No.63077044 >>63077012 (OP) # Do you remember when op wasnt a f-----? Yeah me neither. 185 KB PNG

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Anon doesn't believe in magic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)00:24:32 No.853685688 >no fire >spinny plate 35 KB JPG >MМMMMMMМMMMMMMMMMMMMMMММMMMMMMМ >ВЕЕР ВЕЕР ВЕЕР >??? >food hot Please don't tell me you retards believe this s---?
: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)00:24:32 No.853685688 >no fire >spinny plate 35 KB JPG >MМMMMMMМMMMMMMMMMMMMMMММMMMMMMМ >ВЕЕР ВЕЕР ВЕЕР >??? >food hot Please don't tell me you retards believe this s---?

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Anon speeds | /r/Greentext

AMI autistIC? Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)12:11:51 No.63519717 >>63519780 >be me >Go do some volounteering stuff to help the poor or whatever >Have to move and dismantle a bunch of plumbing/mechanical stuff >Have to go home >Get in car, a badly beaten 90's shitbox >Remember Simpsons episode where Homer dances to I Feel Free by Cream >Put song on >Feel rush of happyness wash over me >Step on the gas >30 over the speed limit all the way home >Take a couple turns at risky speeds >Feel the uncontrollable urge to scream and laugh >Scream like a f------ maniac while doing 60 on narrow country roads >For some reason the dash lights, which were broken, start working again >Scream at the tol of my lungs "I F------ LOVE THIS CAR!" >Get home >Literally sweating from the amount of screaming I've done Is this what being autistic feels like?
AMI autistIC? Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)12:11:51 No.63519717 >>63519780 >be me >Go do some volounteering stuff to help the poor or whatever >Have to move and dismantle a bunch of plumbing/mechanical stuff >Have to go home >Get in car, a badly beaten 90's shitbox >Remember Simpsons episode where Homer dances to I Feel Free by Cream >Put song on >Feel rush of happyness wash over me >Step on the gas >30 over the speed limit all the way home >Take a couple turns at risky speeds >Feel the uncontrollable urge to scream and laugh >Scream like a f------ maniac while doing 60 on narrow country roads >For some reason the dash lights, which were broken, start working again >Scream at the tol of my lungs "I F------ LOVE THIS CAR!" >Get home >Literally sweating from the amount of screaming I've done Is this what being autistic feels like?

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anon is in the process of being groomed | /r/Greentext

File: happy pep.png (34 KB, 200x161) O Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)11:16:43 No.853625853 [Reply] >be me >have bad day at school >parents can't pick me up >call uncle Jappy meal >uncle sees im in a sad mood "hey you wanna get some mcdonalds anon?" >i like mcdonalds sure >not sad anymore >thanks uncle:) >get mcdonalds >uncle is being funny
File: happy pep.png (34 KB, 200x161) O Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)11:16:43 No.853625853 [Reply] >be me >have bad day at school >parents can't pick me up >call uncle Jappy meal >uncle sees im in a sad mood "hey you wanna get some mcdonalds anon?" >i like mcdonalds sure >not sad anymore >thanks uncle:) >get mcdonalds >uncle is being funny

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Anon can‘t let go | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)04:55:24 No.63526124 >trying to get over this girl >been more than a year since we stopped talking >think I'm finally over her >all of a sudden start dreaming about her 17 KB JPG >literally dreaming >wake up sad when it happens I didn't even date her, why won't she leave my head
: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)04:55:24 No.63526124 >trying to get over this girl >been more than a year since we stopped talking >think I'm finally over her >all of a sudden start dreaming about her 17 KB JPG >literally dreaming >wake up sad when it happens I didn't even date her, why won't she leave my head

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Anon does hate capitalism in a gay leftist way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)10:55:49 No.62563703 >the entire world caters to underages and boomers because they're the demographics with the most free time and money I'm unironically starting to hate capitalism but not in a gay leftist 43 KB JPG way. : Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)10:56:24 No.62563708 >>62563703 (OP) # >NOO0000 THE WORLD DOESNT REVOLVE AROUND MEEEEE
: Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)10:55:49 No.62563703 >the entire world caters to underages and boomers because they're the demographics with the most free time and money I'm unironically starting to hate capitalism but not in a gay leftist 43 KB JPG way. : Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)10:56:24 No.62563708 >>62563703 (OP) # >NOO0000 THE WORLD DOESNT REVOLVE AROUND MEEEEE

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Anon witnesses magic | /r/Greentext

>be me >jerkin >busted in my hand >was distracted with something else, Tooking away from my hand >dont feel the c-- from my hand move or anything >look back >its 9one >all of its f------ 9one what do b 18m 853680703 . JPG . 12KB · (400 x 400) Run.
>be me >jerkin >busted in my hand >was distracted with something else, Tooking away from my hand >dont feel the c-- from my hand move or anything >look back >its 9one >all of its f------ 9one what do b 18m 853680703 . JPG . 12KB · (400 x 400) Run.

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Anon has Schizophrenia | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/07/15(Mon)09:35:29 No.16660705 >>16661078 >>16661195 >>16666953 >come home from drinking with my buddies, buzzed and getting tired. >see my wife walking to the bedroom, its bed time for her too. >laying in bed with wife. >we're talking in the dark as is our nightly routine. >she leaves to use the restroom. >comes back about 1min later, closes and locks the door as usual. >lays down in bed again. >she likes to sleep with her arm over me and head in my neck. >attempt to talk with her, no response. >assume she's fallen asleep. >start nodding off, brain thinking of stupid s--- like elephants doing back flips. >snap out of my sleep, bedroom door knob is jiggling. >look at the door, and hear my wife on the other side say, "stop playing let me in" >shitbrix.gif >look down at my sleeping wife. >can barely make anything out because of the dark. >slip out from under her and turn on the light. >look back at her, no ones there. >look around the room, wife starts getting p----- and demanding I let her in. >go to open the door. >pitch black of the hallway, no ones there. >shitmorebrix.gif >suddenly sober up and realize my wife is working a double shift. >drown_in_brix_shat.gif Anonymous 09/07/15(Mon)11:49:21 No.16661078 >>16660705 # this would f--- with me.
Anonymous 09/07/15(Mon)09:35:29 No.16660705 >>16661078 >>16661195 >>16666953 >come home from drinking with my buddies, buzzed and getting tired. >see my wife walking to the bedroom, its bed time for her too. >laying in bed with wife. >we're talking in the dark as is our nightly routine. >she leaves to use the restroom. >comes back about 1min later, closes and locks the door as usual. >lays down in bed again. >she likes to sleep with her arm over me and head in my neck. >attempt to talk with her, no response. >assume she's fallen asleep. >start nodding off, brain thinking of stupid s--- like elephants doing back flips. >snap out of my sleep, bedroom door knob is jiggling. >look at the door, and hear my wife on the other side say, "stop playing let me in" >shitbrix.gif >look down at my sleeping wife. >can barely make anything out because of the dark. >slip out from under her and turn on the light. >look back at her, no ones there. >look around the room, wife starts getting p----- and demanding I let her in. >go to open the door. >pitch black of the hallway, no ones there. >shitmorebrix.gif >suddenly sober up and realize my wife is working a double shift. >drown_in_brix_shat.gif Anonymous 09/07/15(Mon)11:49:21 No.16661078 >>16660705 # this would f--- with me.

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Anon's life isn't fair | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)18:20:02 No.63515626 >be bullied by chad throughout highschool >think it's okay because I spent time studying to get into my country's top uni and one day l'll show them >he also gets accepted in my uni and we're in the same f------ courses for the most part 937 KB GIF >continues bullying me >think it's okay because I invest in crypto and my coins are doing fine III eventually become rich and III show them >btc recent 20-25% dip makes every single of my coins crash >see on facebook class group that my bully bought doge at 3c and has already done more than a 10x so far Holy f------ s---. It's so f------ unfair. This guy gets to ruin my f------ highschool and college years, and I dont even get to feel superior ONCE in my entire f------ life.
: Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)18:20:02 No.63515626 >be bullied by chad throughout highschool >think it's okay because I spent time studying to get into my country's top uni and one day l'll show them >he also gets accepted in my uni and we're in the same f------ courses for the most part 937 KB GIF >continues bullying me >think it's okay because I invest in crypto and my coins are doing fine III eventually become rich and III show them >btc recent 20-25% dip makes every single of my coins crash >see on facebook class group that my bully bought doge at 3c and has already done more than a 10x so far Holy f------ s---. It's so f------ unfair. This guy gets to ruin my f------ highschool and college years, and I dont even get to feel superior ONCE in my entire f------ life.

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Anon needs to get a job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)19:18:54 No.63516094 >Tfw your brother is rich and you leech off of him so you can be lazy 207 KB PNG 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/04/21 (Tue)19:20:04 No.63516100 >>63516094 (OP) # michael is that you? GET A F------ JOB!
: Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)19:18:54 No.63516094 >Tfw your brother is rich and you leech off of him so you can be lazy 207 KB PNG 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/04/21 (Tue)19:20:04 No.63516100 >>63516094 (OP) # michael is that you? GET A F------ JOB!

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Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)20:31:08 No.853659231 >be me >be arguing with friend online >calls me a monkey cuz brown >call him a F.A.S Baby >wait >look up fetal alcohol syndrome 129 KB JPG appearance >has all of the facial features >take the piss out of him for it then don't think about it for a few hours >sends him the link for the symptoms of F.A.S >mfw he finds out he has F.A.S >mfw his relationship with his parents is f------ ruined >mfw i realize i might be the reason for a divorce i f----- up big time bros
: Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)20:31:08 No.853659231 >be me >be arguing with friend online >calls me a monkey cuz brown >call him a F.A.S Baby >wait >look up fetal alcohol syndrome 129 KB JPG appearance >has all of the facial features >take the piss out of him for it then don't think about it for a few hours >sends him the link for the symptoms of F.A.S >mfw he finds out he has F.A.S >mfw his relationship with his parents is f------ ruined >mfw i realize i might be the reason for a divorce i f----- up big time bros

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This is a yikes | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 02/17/17(Fri)22:37:33 No.722793470 The day i figured out i had autism. >Be me >At the mall with my girlfriend (atm im a f------ normie) 41 KB JPG >Day is going p good >Suddenly gf sees a group of her friends >"Anon, come meet my friends!!" >ohno.jpg >anxiety builds up >dont wanna go out like this so i go with her to talk to her friends >spend a good five minutes standing in a circle with gf and her friends >l have not said a f------ word >Open my mouth to speak >Autism = activate >I start doing finger guns >"Hey guys, do you like things? I like things." >... >In the midst of the awkward silence my brain goes like "ayyo, dawg, ask em what they favorite type of milk is" >Ask them what they're favorite type of milk is >Awkward Silence 2, Electric Boogaloo >Make up excuse to go to the bathroom >Mfw in the stalls
:Anonymous 02/17/17(Fri)22:37:33 No.722793470 The day i figured out i had autism. >Be me >At the mall with my girlfriend (atm im a f------ normie) 41 KB JPG >Day is going p good >Suddenly gf sees a group of her friends >"Anon, come meet my friends!!" >ohno.jpg >anxiety builds up >dont wanna go out like this so i go with her to talk to her friends >spend a good five minutes standing in a circle with gf and her friends >l have not said a f------ word >Open my mouth to speak >Autism = activate >I start doing finger guns >"Hey guys, do you like things? I like things." >... >In the midst of the awkward silence my brain goes like "ayyo, dawg, ask em what they favorite type of milk is" >Ask them what they're favorite type of milk is >Awkward Silence 2, Electric Boogaloo >Make up excuse to go to the bathroom >Mfw in the stalls

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Anon is not amused | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 04/18/16(Mon)19:23:15 No.680081381 File: image.jpg (37 KB, 405x509) > >>680081694 >>680 >be me in high school >walk into class and sit next to girl >she's handicapped and in a wheelchair >she's also a smartass >pull out chemistry homework >get stuck on the first question >"hey, can you help me with this?" >ignored >ask again >she does it but is an ass about it >she says, "this is the easiest thing i've done all day" >p-----.jpg >the intercom turns on for the pledges >everyone stands >the bitch is still in her wheelchair >time to give her what she deserves >bend down and tell her "this is the easiest thing I've done all day"
>> Anonymous 04/18/16(Mon)19:23:15 No.680081381 File: image.jpg (37 KB, 405x509) > >>680081694 >>680 >be me in high school >walk into class and sit next to girl >she's handicapped and in a wheelchair >she's also a smartass >pull out chemistry homework >get stuck on the first question >"hey, can you help me with this?" >ignored >ask again >she does it but is an ass about it >she says, "this is the easiest thing i've done all day" >p-----.jpg >the intercom turns on for the pledges >everyone stands >the bitch is still in her wheelchair >time to give her what she deserves >bend down and tell her "this is the easiest thing I've done all day"

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