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Anon has friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)11:36:35 No.853471846 Just found out what it's like to be "one of the guys" if you will >My younger sister's bf and 3 of his football buddies decided to take me with them to the sand bar on his boat 394 KB PNG > They're all chads in high school (about 6 years younger than me) >Whole boat ride is super fun. Boat got up to 40mph a few times >Finally get to this little island in the middle of the river, has about 50 or so boats that all have other guys from the same school >All of the boats playing really loud country music >All the guys are chillin and drinking beer that they probably got illegally somehow >At random times they'll start chanting "What do we want? Gay sex! When do we want it? Now!" Or "C--- and Balls, C--- and Balls" >Sister's bf gets out these inflatable floaty chairs and we just float around in the river >go back on the island a little while later and throw a football around for a little bit >Get back to the boat ramp, before I get in my car they ask if they'll see me next week For the first time in 23 years it finally feels like I have friends. I'm probably gonna f--- this up somehow, but until then I actually feel happy.
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)11:36:35 No.853471846 Just found out what it's like to be "one of the guys" if you will >My younger sister's bf and 3 of his football buddies decided to take me with them to the sand bar on his boat 394 KB PNG > They're all chads in high school (about 6 years younger than me) >Whole boat ride is super fun. Boat got up to 40mph a few times >Finally get to this little island in the middle of the river, has about 50 or so boats that all have other guys from the same school >All of the boats playing really loud country music >All the guys are chillin and drinking beer that they probably got illegally somehow >At random times they'll start chanting "What do we want? Gay sex! When do we want it? Now!" Or "C--- and Balls, C--- and Balls" >Sister's bf gets out these inflatable floaty chairs and we just float around in the river >go back on the island a little while later and throw a football around for a little bit >Get back to the boat ramp, before I get in my car they ask if they'll see me next week For the first time in 23 years it finally feels like I have friends. I'm probably gonna f--- this up somehow, but until then I actually feel happy.

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Anon is exhausted by modern day internet culture | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How did we get here? 05/03/21(Mon)04:34:42 No.63493603 >Low effort trap music with generic love song lyrics is considered groundbreaking and revolutionary >Racism is "okay" if it's towards white people 245 KB PNG >Talking on the Internet now feels more restricted than talking in real life >People are treated like war heros just for calling a p-------- a dumb dumb stinky fart online >Cringe culture >Everybody thinks they're a professional critic if they get a lot of likes >Witch hunting is now called "cancelling" and is considered good >Stalking is now called "stanning" and is considered good >People are literally dying because of people fighting for biased social justice >Every fictional character needs to have a specified sexuality >Youtube is worse than actual TV >Politics are actually everywhere now >People become gay because it's trendy and not because they want to >Freedom of expression is "encouraged" but not if your expression isn't trendy
: Anonymous How did we get here? 05/03/21(Mon)04:34:42 No.63493603 >Low effort trap music with generic love song lyrics is considered groundbreaking and revolutionary >Racism is "okay" if it's towards white people 245 KB PNG >Talking on the Internet now feels more restricted than talking in real life >People are treated like war heros just for calling a p-------- a dumb dumb stinky fart online >Cringe culture >Everybody thinks they're a professional critic if they get a lot of likes >Witch hunting is now called "cancelling" and is considered good >Stalking is now called "stanning" and is considered good >People are literally dying because of people fighting for biased social justice >Every fictional character needs to have a specified sexuality >Youtube is worse than actual TV >Politics are actually everywhere now >People become gay because it's trendy and not because they want to >Freedom of expression is "encouraged" but not if your expression isn't trendy

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Anon gets cucked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)08:29:24 No.853503414 > be me > meet this girl online > we hit it off. She's very nice, intelligent, beautiful... Or so I thought > She says she's bi and has had a girlfriend before > my intuition is telling me to drop 27 KB PNG her because double chances of cheating >I said "f--- it" and continued our relationship > ffw a month and she meets this lesbian > they've been talking a lot and I got jealous > youdonthaveanythingtoworryabout.jpeg >I open her insta and they've been flirting > I confront her, she breaks up with me > ffw a couple of weeks and they are now together > mfw I got cucked by someone that doesn't even have a c--- > mfw I could've avoided this if I listened to my intuition why are women like this /b/ros?
: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)08:29:24 No.853503414 > be me > meet this girl online > we hit it off. She's very nice, intelligent, beautiful... Or so I thought > She says she's bi and has had a girlfriend before > my intuition is telling me to drop 27 KB PNG her because double chances of cheating >I said "f--- it" and continued our relationship > ffw a month and she meets this lesbian > they've been talking a lot and I got jealous > youdonthaveanythingtoworryabout.jpeg >I open her insta and they've been flirting > I confront her, she breaks up with me > ffw a couple of weeks and they are now together > mfw I got cucked by someone that doesn't even have a c--- > mfw I could've avoided this if I listened to my intuition why are women like this /b/ros?

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Anon misses his brother | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/17(Thu)23:59:16 No.751895601 You wake up and find out you're a kid again in whatever placed you lived in at age 10. It also turns out you have fairly oddparents that will grant you anything you desire, what will it be? 147 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/17(Fri)00:14:08 No.751896408 >>751895601 (OP) # I'd honestly wish for an afterlife to be 100% confirmed, for people who died in the past and thereafter. I just really want to see my brother again. I miss him. >751896478 # : Anonymous 11/24/17(Fri)00:15:15 No.751896478 >>751896408 # Haha that's f------ gay I'd wish for some huge ass t---
: Anonymous 11/23/17(Thu)23:59:16 No.751895601 You wake up and find out you're a kid again in whatever placed you lived in at age 10. It also turns out you have fairly oddparents that will grant you anything you desire, what will it be? 147 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/17(Fri)00:14:08 No.751896408 >>751895601 (OP) # I'd honestly wish for an afterlife to be 100% confirmed, for people who died in the past and thereafter. I just really want to see my brother again. I miss him. >751896478 # : Anonymous 11/24/17(Fri)00:15:15 No.751896478 >>751896408 # Haha that's f------ gay I'd wish for some huge ass t---

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travel story | /r/Greentext

File: btggf.jpg (124 KB, 586x886) O Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)08:09:28 No.853522388 >Be me >b/tard >Want to leave the basement for once >Decide to go on an adventure with my katana >Steal mommys credit card >Book flight to transylvania >Meet qt3.14 there >Compliments my fedora >Finally a woman of culture >Invites me to her house >Super creepy in the woods >Looks more like a castle >Tells me her 3 of her uncles live there >Don't care, just want to see big goth tiddies >She opens the front moat >As soon as I enter the she shuts door and locks it >Turns out one of her uncles is count Dracula >Other uncles are also counts >F---.jpg >Pull out katana >They laugh >Invite me to table and have some tendies and dew >Actually pretty chill dudes >Ask if I want to see the bat cave >Need to take the elevator down >Only big enough for one at a time >They let me go down first >After me count Dracula comes down >Then the second count comes down >Say that we should wait for the last count to join before we start the tour >Takes ages >Finally the last of the three counts steps out of the elevator >It's the final count down
File: btggf.jpg (124 KB, 586x886) O Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)08:09:28 No.853522388 >Be me >b/tard >Want to leave the basement for once >Decide to go on an adventure with my katana >Steal mommys credit card >Book flight to transylvania >Meet qt3.14 there >Compliments my fedora >Finally a woman of culture >Invites me to her house >Super creepy in the woods >Looks more like a castle >Tells me her 3 of her uncles live there >Don't care, just want to see big goth tiddies >She opens the front moat >As soon as I enter the she shuts door and locks it >Turns out one of her uncles is count Dracula >Other uncles are also counts >F---.jpg >Pull out katana >They laugh >Invite me to table and have some tendies and dew >Actually pretty chill dudes >Ask if I want to see the bat cave >Need to take the elevator down >Only big enough for one at a time >They let me go down first >After me count Dracula comes down >Then the second count comes down >Say that we should wait for the last count to join before we start the tour >Takes ages >Finally the last of the three counts steps out of the elevator >It's the final count down

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Anon is getting along with his roommates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:50:47 No.853061729 Gayest thing you've ever done /b. I'll go first. >Be me, in college >have to share dorm with two other people. 144 KB JPG >a trans dude who never transitioned from girl to boy we'll call E and another dude we'll call H. >end of school year >me and H watching TV. >he puts his hand on my thigh >whatthefuckdudewhatareyoudoingplea semove.jpeg >H literally starts to j------- next to me. "I've always wanted to f--- you anon, even tho you're straight heh." "uhhhh, gee H, I don't know what to say." >H leans on my shoulder and starts to pull down PJ pants >shamefully hard. >H starts jacking ME off. >give in like a f-----. >E walks in to H jacking me and himself off. >find out he is a horny mess. >before I know it l'm having a threesome with two other f------. >we became a lot more relaxed about sexually related topics and actions around the dorm after that. You're turn
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:50:47 No.853061729 Gayest thing you've ever done /b. I'll go first. >Be me, in college >have to share dorm with two other people. 144 KB JPG >a trans dude who never transitioned from girl to boy we'll call E and another dude we'll call H. >end of school year >me and H watching TV. >he puts his hand on my thigh >whatthefuckdudewhatareyoudoingplea semove.jpeg >H literally starts to j------- next to me. "I've always wanted to f--- you anon, even tho you're straight heh." "uhhhh, gee H, I don't know what to say." >H leans on my shoulder and starts to pull down PJ pants >shamefully hard. >H starts jacking ME off. >give in like a f-----. >E walks in to H jacking me and himself off. >find out he is a horny mess. >before I know it l'm having a threesome with two other f------. >we became a lot more relaxed about sexually related topics and actions around the dorm after that. You're turn

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Anon has a balanced diet | /r/Greentext

MEGA MILK No.16040186 10 hours ago 1619890873643.jpg JPG 60.7 KiB 720x1257 >wake up >have a robust breakfast heavy in fats and protien >drink a 1-quart jar of milk and have some strong black coffee >roughly 1000 calories most mornings >dont eat all day >still feel satisfied and energetic >maybe have some tea or another small black coffee in the afternoon >come home >have a hearty dinner >go to bed comfy and satisfied Why do people keep telling me this is an unhealthy way to eat? Lunch is a pointless meal that takes up time where you could be having some fun or napping in the middle of your work-day instead of trying to hastily shove food into your mouth before getting back in the wagie cagie 5 ręplięs
MEGA MILK No.16040186 10 hours ago 1619890873643.jpg JPG 60.7 KiB 720x1257 >wake up >have a robust breakfast heavy in fats and protien >drink a 1-quart jar of milk and have some strong black coffee >roughly 1000 calories most mornings >dont eat all day >still feel satisfied and energetic >maybe have some tea or another small black coffee in the afternoon >come home >have a hearty dinner >go to bed comfy and satisfied Why do people keep telling me this is an unhealthy way to eat? Lunch is a pointless meal that takes up time where you could be having some fun or napping in the middle of your work-day instead of trying to hastily shove food into your mouth before getting back in the wagie cagie 5 ręplięs

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160 IQ anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/19(Wed)14:17:06 No.52095217 >unclasp girls bra behind her back >she assumes i have a lot of experience with women >its actually because i used to cross dress 22 KB PNG who /devilish/ here View Thread
: Anonymous 04/24/19(Wed)14:17:06 No.52095217 >unclasp girls bra behind her back >she assumes i have a lot of experience with women >its actually because i used to cross dress 22 KB PNG who /devilish/ here View Thread

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anon is hero | /r/Greentext

File: 55ba87b8dd0895c81c8b4581.jff.jpg (28 KB, 600x549) O Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)22:52:27 No.63485879 [Reply] >women giggles at me in the hallway >punch her in the throat one single time And I'm the f------ bad guy? Ok O Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)22:56:45 No.63485927 >>63485879 (OP) No Anon, you're my hero.
File: 55ba87b8dd0895c81c8b4581.jff.jpg (28 KB, 600x549) O Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)22:52:27 No.63485879 [Reply] >women giggles at me in the hallway >punch her in the throat one single time And I'm the f------ bad guy? Ok O Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)22:56:45 No.63485927 >>63485879 (OP) No Anon, you're my hero.

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/19(Sat)6:39:11 No.51238294 >going to school >realise i forgot my bag >conclude the only explenation is that im in a dream >go into school bathroom and r--- a girl >dont wake up 63 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/02/19(Sat)6:39:11 No.51238294 >going to school >realise i forgot my bag >conclude the only explenation is that im in a dream >go into school bathroom and r--- a girl >dont wake up 63 KB JPG

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Femanon gets rejected | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/18(Thu)10:15:48 No.787778550 >be me >24yo femanon >snort heroin >wake up in hospital >meet male nurse >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg 334 KB PNG >suck him off in the bathroom >ask him on a date >"no offence anon but I'm not going to date a junkie who sucks off men in bathrooms" >mfw
: Anonymous 12/20/18(Thu)10:15:48 No.787778550 >be me >24yo femanon >snort heroin >wake up in hospital >meet male nurse >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg 334 KB PNG >suck him off in the bathroom >ask him on a date >"no offence anon but I'm not going to date a junkie who sucks off men in bathrooms" >mfw

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Anon has depression | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)21:23:28 No.63487395 >pick up guitar >play for 5 minutes gest angry when hitting wrong notes >pick up book >read for 2 minutes before picking up my phone >play video game 185 KB PNG >alt+f4 after 10 minutes What the f---?! What am I supposed to do?
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)21:23:28 No.63487395 >pick up guitar >play for 5 minutes gest angry when hitting wrong notes >pick up book >read for 2 minutes before picking up my phone >play video game 185 KB PNG >alt+f4 after 10 minutes What the f---?! What am I supposed to do?

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Anons watch Vsauce | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)07:49:06 No.13049097 >>13049083 (OP) # >Vsauce 76 KB JPG >>13049101 # : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)07:51:00 No.13049101 >>13049097 # >Michael here 48 KB JPG >>13053073 # >>13053901 #
: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)07:49:06 No.13049097 >>13049083 (OP) # >Vsauce 76 KB JPG >>13049101 # : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)07:51:00 No.13049101 >>13049097 # >Michael here 48 KB JPG >>13053073 # >>13053901 #

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Anon is living healthy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I reach my 250 step goal for t(...) 05/02/21(Sun)20:59:57 No.63487110 Nicely Done! 250/250 fitbit 230D3667-D5DF-494E-A3AE-27FE8B16C716.jpg 870 KB JPG >be me >jacking off >right as I Coom > versa 2 Fitbit watch tells me good job on your step goal
Anonymous I reach my 250 step goal for t(...) 05/02/21(Sun)20:59:57 No.63487110 Nicely Done! 250/250 fitbit 230D3667-D5DF-494E-A3AE-27FE8B16C716.jpg 870 KB JPG >be me >jacking off >right as I Coom > versa 2 Fitbit watch tells me good job on your step goal

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)20:44:25 No.853485752 >on a night out >f----- up >call an Uber >wait 5 mins, Nigerian dude picks me up >starts talking >whygod.jpeg >at least his accent is cool >notice that he's not picking anyone else up >drive by a group of people waving at the car to stop >ask him why he just aired those people >"Those people? I'm not driving them anywhere, they are 320 KB JPG black" wot
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)20:44:25 No.853485752 >on a night out >f----- up >call an Uber >wait 5 mins, Nigerian dude picks me up >starts talking >whygod.jpeg >at least his accent is cool >notice that he's not picking anyone else up >drive by a group of people waving at the car to stop >ask him why he just aired those people >"Those people? I'm not driving them anywhere, they are 320 KB JPG black" wot

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Anon is passionate about the vaccine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)14:45:57 No.63482717 Filac LEVIS EST. 2021 EUMNI VERSE BYIS file.png 1.36 MB PNG >she got moderna >dropped the w---- #pfizer ONVERSE
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)14:45:57 No.63482717 Filac LEVIS EST. 2021 EUMNI VERSE BYIS file.png 1.36 MB PNG >she got moderna >dropped the w---- #pfizer ONVERSE

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Anon is an unbelievably awful person | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)12:00:29 No.853483268 Alright, l'll bite. >9th grade >There's a sweet, pretty girl who had her lost her legs in an accident and uses a wheelchair 94 KB JPG >Has very few friends due to her condition >She's a fantastic artist >My friends and I decide to prank her for s---- and giggles >l pretend I want to be her friend and she warms up to me instantly >We start to hang out outside of school >Sleep over at her house one night >We play video games, playing some Twisted Metal >Ask her if she can show me her portfolio (she was in the advanced art program in our school and needed to create fifty or so amazing art pieces to pass) >After a game I say I need to go to the bathroom >Pull out big-ass scissors from my pocket (big pocket I was wearing jncos) go into her room, and cut the bottom- half of all of her art pieces off and trash them >Leave >The next day, she rolls up to me in the middle of class, on the verge of crying, and asks me what happened to her art >l said, "I made them look like you" >All my friends laugh heartily >She rolls over to her table, alone, and just stares at her hands in her lap for the rest of the day It was less than a month before that art was due, too. There's no way she made it up in time. Sometimes I look back and think, "did that make her a stronger person? Or a weaker one?" Sometimes I have a desire to find out. Maybe l'll call her some time.
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)12:00:29 No.853483268 Alright, l'll bite. >9th grade >There's a sweet, pretty girl who had her lost her legs in an accident and uses a wheelchair 94 KB JPG >Has very few friends due to her condition >She's a fantastic artist >My friends and I decide to prank her for s---- and giggles >l pretend I want to be her friend and she warms up to me instantly >We start to hang out outside of school >Sleep over at her house one night >We play video games, playing some Twisted Metal >Ask her if she can show me her portfolio (she was in the advanced art program in our school and needed to create fifty or so amazing art pieces to pass) >After a game I say I need to go to the bathroom >Pull out big-ass scissors from my pocket (big pocket I was wearing jncos) go into her room, and cut the bottom- half of all of her art pieces off and trash them >Leave >The next day, she rolls up to me in the middle of class, on the verge of crying, and asks me what happened to her art >l said, "I made them look like you" >All my friends laugh heartily >She rolls over to her table, alone, and just stares at her hands in her lap for the rest of the day It was less than a month before that art was due, too. There's no way she made it up in time. Sometimes I look back and think, "did that make her a stronger person? Or a weaker one?" Sometimes I have a desire to find out. Maybe l'll call her some time.

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Anon likes femboys | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous F---, guess im gay now 05/02/21(Sun)10:25:30 No.63483864 GARY I NEED >be me >attracted to femboys >think that after i have a good time with a femboy i'll have "gotten it out of my system" and i'll be straight again FEMBOY AFFECTION 72 KB JPG >didn't work, even more attracted to them now and females just dont do it for me anymore pic related 81
: Anonymous F---, guess im gay now 05/02/21(Sun)10:25:30 No.63483864 GARY I NEED >be me >attracted to femboys >think that after i have a good time with a femboy i'll have "gotten it out of my system" and i'll be straight again FEMBOY AFFECTION 72 KB JPG >didn't work, even more attracted to them now and females just dont do it for me anymore pic related 81

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anon is at math class | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: dlvNZoUJ)E 08/21/18(Tue)02:58:33 No.6234215 >Be me >14 >math class >flip through the book to see where we left off >yawn like three times in a row 85 KB PNG >tired like balls >whatthefuck.jpg >l was really energetic an hour ago >look over to my friend >she yawns >she's almost asleep >teacher says she's tired >whatthefuck.v2 >look around the class >everyone's yawning their souls away >someone mentions he's tired as well >like four people are resting their heads on the table >headmaster talks trough the intercom >we have to evacuate >everyone goes outside >get told to go home >get home >sleep >wake up >7 pm >look at the news >someone had planted some sleeping gas in our school or some s--- >mfw our whole class was high
: Anonymous (ID: dlvNZoUJ)E 08/21/18(Tue)02:58:33 No.6234215 >Be me >14 >math class >flip through the book to see where we left off >yawn like three times in a row 85 KB PNG >tired like balls >whatthefuck.jpg >l was really energetic an hour ago >look over to my friend >she yawns >she's almost asleep >teacher says she's tired >whatthefuck.v2 >look around the class >everyone's yawning their souls away >someone mentions he's tired as well >like four people are resting their heads on the table >headmaster talks trough the intercom >we have to evacuate >everyone goes outside >get told to go home >get home >sleep >wake up >7 pm >look at the news >someone had planted some sleeping gas in our school or some s--- >mfw our whole class was high

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Wholesome as always | /r/Greentext

File: 40-401842_pepe-emotes-pep(...).jpg (177 KB, 840x774) Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)03:38:03 No.63480254 >>63480276 >>63480287 >>63480319 >>63480882 >>63481010 >>63481020 >>63481033 >>63481038 >>63481049 >>63481140 >>63481141 >>63481151 >>63481247 >be me >parents leave for the weekend >sister and I are alone >as soon as they leave turn to my sister and joke "now that they're gone there's nothing stopping me from r----- you" and then laugh so she knows I'm joking >she goes straight to her room and locks the door >get a really angry call from my parents telling me to stay away from her and they are going to have a serious talk with me when they come back Like I'm her brother why the f--- did she have to do that? Should I have joked about vaginas cause apparently thats the only thing women joke about?
File: 40-401842_pepe-emotes-pep(...).jpg (177 KB, 840x774) Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)03:38:03 No.63480254 >>63480276 >>63480287 >>63480319 >>63480882 >>63481010 >>63481020 >>63481033 >>63481038 >>63481049 >>63481140 >>63481141 >>63481151 >>63481247 >be me >parents leave for the weekend >sister and I are alone >as soon as they leave turn to my sister and joke "now that they're gone there's nothing stopping me from r----- you" and then laugh so she knows I'm joking >she goes straight to her room and locks the door >get a really angry call from my parents telling me to stay away from her and they are going to have a serious talk with me when they come back Like I'm her brother why the f--- did she have to do that? Should I have joked about vaginas cause apparently thats the only thing women joke about?

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