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Anon performs CPR | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/21 (Mon)19:40:07 No.853551292 >be me, average looking, maybe 6.5-7/10 CROCE RSA >training to become EMT >today.json >in school the teacher asks me to show to my classmates basic emergency procedures, CPR, the 122 KB JPG likes >everyone sits on a circle with me at the center >i need a volunteer that acts as a victim >qt3.14 shows up, petite, curly blonde, blue eyes, 8.5/10 >"i can be the test dummy, anon" >ok.jpeg >teacher tells me to perform the correct procedure, how to place the hands, etc >"do it anon, i don't have any problems with that" >put hands on her chest >my hands are big, i touch the whole tiddie >her tiddies fit perfectly in my hand, they're small, soft and firm >everyone looking and joking >am considered a chad now I got to touch some tiddies, /b/!
: Anonymous 05/03/21 (Mon)19:40:07 No.853551292 >be me, average looking, maybe 6.5-7/10 CROCE RSA >training to become EMT >today.json >in school the teacher asks me to show to my classmates basic emergency procedures, CPR, the 122 KB JPG likes >everyone sits on a circle with me at the center >i need a volunteer that acts as a victim >qt3.14 shows up, petite, curly blonde, blue eyes, 8.5/10 >"i can be the test dummy, anon" >ok.jpeg >teacher tells me to perform the correct procedure, how to place the hands, etc >"do it anon, i don't have any problems with that" >put hands on her chest >my hands are big, i touch the whole tiddie >her tiddies fit perfectly in my hand, they're small, soft and firm >everyone looking and joking >am considered a chad now I got to touch some tiddies, /b/!

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Hold on to these moments | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21 (Wed)19:36:28 No.62896081 >girl in 11th grade once said I have pretty eyebrows and the girl next to her agreed >still remember it to this day 195 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/24/21 (Wed)19:36:28 No.62896081 >girl in 11th grade once said I have pretty eyebrows and the girl next to her agreed >still remember it to this day 195 KB PNG

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Spare the rod, spoil the child | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)08:30:28 No.63499062 >be me, 19 >visit binland with mom and dad >dad invites me to go to sauna together >dicklet, so a bit hesitant at first >it's probably genetics anyway hahaha, he's probably as small as 28 KB JPG me >walk in >stop dead upon seeing his huge f------ d--- >tfw it's already bigger than mine HARD, both in length and girth >Dad stares back, a stunned expression of disappointment on his face >he opens his mouth to say something but changes his mind >spend the next 5 minutes in complete silence
Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)08:30:28 No.63499062 >be me, 19 >visit binland with mom and dad >dad invites me to go to sauna together >dicklet, so a bit hesitant at first >it's probably genetics anyway hahaha, he's probably as small as 28 KB JPG me >walk in >stop dead upon seeing his huge f------ d--- >tfw it's already bigger than mine HARD, both in length and girth >Dad stares back, a stunned expression of disappointment on his face >he opens his mouth to say something but changes his mind >spend the next 5 minutes in complete silence

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Anon is having a blast | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)10:24:42 No.852675583 Good Thread >21, last Semester of Uni, History Student >Currently trying to get my Bachelorsdegree >Chose to write my final assignment about the Vietnam war 9 KB JPG and the Press politic >Really interested in the subject >Read a lot, also get in touch with the music of that era. >Get really zoomed in, listen to a lot of nam Songs, cuz I start to like them (gimme shelter, The reaper, Time of the season etc.) >Actually f------ great music, keeps my mind off the Rona misery >Having a blast, thanks Vietnam War :) 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)10:24:42 No.852675583 Good Thread >21, last Semester of Uni, History Student >Currently trying to get my Bachelorsdegree >Chose to write my final assignment about the Vietnam war 9 KB JPG and the Press politic >Really interested in the subject >Read a lot, also get in touch with the music of that era. >Get really zoomed in, listen to a lot of nam Songs, cuz I start to like them (gimme shelter, The reaper, Time of the season etc.) >Actually f------ great music, keeps my mind off the Rona misery >Having a blast, thanks Vietnam War :) 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon is a bartender | /r/Greentext

File: A62CB72F-D410-4EEC-BE4A-B(...).jpg (217 KB, 828x734) O Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)10:23:47 No.853546739 [Reply] >Work at a bar at a beach resort in Florida >Kid comes up (probably about 15 or 16) and asks for a piña colada >Me: "virgin?" >Him: "nah I play football" What did that even mean?
File: A62CB72F-D410-4EEC-BE4A-B(...).jpg (217 KB, 828x734) O Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)10:23:47 No.853546739 [Reply] >Work at a bar at a beach resort in Florida >Kid comes up (probably about 15 or 16) and asks for a piña colada >Me: "virgin?" >Him: "nah I play football" What did that even mean?

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Anon is constipated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous help 05/03/21(Mon)07:29:07 No.24080491 uh oh.jpg 58 KB JPG >havent pooped in 3 days i guess this is goodbye
: Anonymous help 05/03/21(Mon)07:29:07 No.24080491 uh oh.jpg 58 KB JPG >havent pooped in 3 days i guess this is goodbye

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Anon likes ducks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I like ducks 05/02/21(Sun)23:44:12 No.63488597 >me and a duck >happy 69 KB PNG
: Anonymous I like ducks 05/02/21(Sun)23:44:12 No.63488597 >me and a duck >happy 69 KB PNG

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Anon has been cursed with knowledge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)05:27:15 No.853531181 >theres a fetish for detachable body parts 19 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)05:27:15 No.853531181 >theres a fetish for detachable body parts 19 KB JPG

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Anon moves to Poland | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)09:48:07 No.852674088 >be me >Moved back to Poland >have English lessons even though im more fluent than the teacher >Teacher's going round asking everyone the same question > "What do you hate" 7 KB JPG > its my turn > Teacher asks "What do you hate [Anon]?" > *dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it* >i confidently and loudly say "Minorities" Pic Related
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)09:48:07 No.852674088 >be me >Moved back to Poland >have English lessons even though im more fluent than the teacher >Teacher's going round asking everyone the same question > "What do you hate" 7 KB JPG > its my turn > Teacher asks "What do you hate [Anon]?" > *dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it* >i confidently and loudly say "Minorities" Pic Related

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Anon gets a reality check | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)06:21:58 No.63494837 >try taking pic >accidently turn to front camera i am traumatized 58 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)06:21:58 No.63494837 >try taking pic >accidently turn to front camera i am traumatized 58 KB JPG

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Anon isn’t very smart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)09:09:09 No.853542928 >6ft 4, 18 y/o, 220 lbs fit >get called handsome often >make good money fixing and selling tractors >I can hold a conversation >l am told I'm extremely funny Still a virgin with no friends 214 KB JPG You idiots said this would be easy : Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)09:09:55 No.853542969 : Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)09:11:49 No.853543064 >>853542928 (OP) # Have you tried asking a girl out, f-- >>853543112 # : Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)09:12:40 No.853543112 >>853543064 # Oh s--- maybe that's it
: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)09:09:09 No.853542928 >6ft 4, 18 y/o, 220 lbs fit >get called handsome often >make good money fixing and selling tractors >I can hold a conversation >l am told I'm extremely funny Still a virgin with no friends 214 KB JPG You idiots said this would be easy : Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)09:09:55 No.853542969 : Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)09:11:49 No.853543064 >>853542928 (OP) # Have you tried asking a girl out, f-- >>853543112 # : Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)09:12:40 No.853543112 >>853543064 # Oh s--- maybe that's it

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Power to the people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)00:50:06 No.61283944 this is an old mire but i've never written it out >ride my bike to the park by the 83 KB JPG lake >start doing pullups on the monkey bars >truck pulls up in front of the park with boat hitched behind it >fishing bros roll down the windows and start yelling, counting my reps >ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, C'MON ONE MORE, etc. >cheer when i reach ten
: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)00:50:06 No.61283944 this is an old mire but i've never written it out >ride my bike to the park by the 83 KB JPG lake >start doing pullups on the monkey bars >truck pulls up in front of the park with boat hitched behind it >fishing bros roll down the windows and start yelling, counting my reps >ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, C'MON ONE MORE, etc. >cheer when i reach ten

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Anon flirts with a girl and a boy. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)07:00:56 No.20223410 >be bi dude >flirting with a cis girl >she's unresponsive >gives one word replies >talk about my hobbies >"that's cool I guess" 7 KB JPG >ask about her hobbies >travelling and watching Netflix >having a conversation with her is like pulling teeth >flirting with a femme twink >he actually acts like he's happy to see me >calls me handsome >asks me about my hobbies >has funny banter and makes me laugh, too >has distinct worldviews >"I like how big and strong you are, anon" If bottoms are women, explain this s---
: Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)07:00:56 No.20223410 >be bi dude >flirting with a cis girl >she's unresponsive >gives one word replies >talk about my hobbies >"that's cool I guess" 7 KB JPG >ask about her hobbies >travelling and watching Netflix >having a conversation with her is like pulling teeth >flirting with a femme twink >he actually acts like he's happy to see me >calls me handsome >asks me about my hobbies >has funny banter and makes me laugh, too >has distinct worldviews >"I like how big and strong you are, anon" If bottoms are women, explain this s---

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Anon doesn’t like getting yelled at | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)04:55:43 No.63497904 1800.jpg 94 KB JPG >WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION PRIVATE? how do you respond? 6 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/03/21 (Mon)04:56:45 No.63497909 : Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)04:57:20 No.63497912 : Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)04:59:02 No.63497925 : Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)05:07:32 No.63497981 >>63497904 (OP) # Please don't yell at me I have low self esteem :( 13 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)04:55:43 No.63497904 1800.jpg 94 KB JPG >WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION PRIVATE? how do you respond? 6 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/03/21 (Mon)04:56:45 No.63497909 : Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)04:57:20 No.63497912 : Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)04:59:02 No.63497925 : Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)05:07:32 No.63497981 >>63497904 (OP) # Please don't yell at me I have low self esteem :( 13 KB JPG

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anon orders tendies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/20(Fri)20:48:31 No.825547118 > be me > Gentleman gamer >Women are inferior beings who don't understand my lifestyle > pp still desires them > Decide to capture one to keep as a pet > Use grub hub to order lots of 228 KB PNG tendies until a delivery girl shows up > She's kind of chubby and not blonde but whatever >As soon as she rings the belL I spring my trap rolling down the stairs and knocking her down and out with my immense and healthy 500lb frame >She's been keeping her cage clean and I've been training her to make tendies so I started letting her game with me >Turns out she's way better than me Mfw
: Anonymous 04/17/20(Fri)20:48:31 No.825547118 > be me > Gentleman gamer >Women are inferior beings who don't understand my lifestyle > pp still desires them > Decide to capture one to keep as a pet > Use grub hub to order lots of 228 KB PNG tendies until a delivery girl shows up > She's kind of chubby and not blonde but whatever >As soon as she rings the belL I spring my trap rolling down the stairs and knocking her down and out with my immense and healthy 500lb frame >She's been keeping her cage clean and I've been training her to make tendies so I started letting her game with me >Turns out she's way better than me Mfw

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Anon doesn‘t fall for gold diggers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)05:25:17 No.63494110 >take girl out on date to mall >clearly gold digger who is using me for money >spend like 600 dollars >she goes to the bathroom and then while she is in there I leave 6 KB JPG and then go home with all bags I bought her then return it the next day and ghost and block her I feel like a scumbag. I stranded her there as I picked her up and drove her there. And then I feel like psychopath for doing what I did. Am I in the wrong? Am I a psychopath?
: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)05:25:17 No.63494110 >take girl out on date to mall >clearly gold digger who is using me for money >spend like 600 dollars >she goes to the bathroom and then while she is in there I leave 6 KB JPG and then go home with all bags I bought her then return it the next day and ghost and block her I feel like a scumbag. I stranded her there as I picked her up and drove her there. And then I feel like psychopath for doing what I did. Am I in the wrong? Am I a psychopath?

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I mean, he's not wrong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)02:22:39 No.13066212 >thousands of billionaires who do nothing to advance society >thousands who profit off of genuinely unethical practices >everyone attacks the one man actually trying to do something 153 KB JPG Why is this? At the very least he got a lot of people interested in science and engineering. He shows that anything is possible. 30 Replies / 8 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)08:08:51 No.13067379 >>13066212 (OP) # What part of manipulating GME and DOGE stock was benefitting society?
: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)02:22:39 No.13066212 >thousands of billionaires who do nothing to advance society >thousands who profit off of genuinely unethical practices >everyone attacks the one man actually trying to do something 153 KB JPG Why is this? At the very least he got a lot of people interested in science and engineering. He shows that anything is possible. 30 Replies / 8 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)08:08:51 No.13067379 >>13066212 (OP) # What part of manipulating GME and DOGE stock was benefitting society?

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Anon has a “girlfriend” | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)19:47:22 No.63491409 >gf wants me to have more pleasure during sex >suggests no condom >tell her to rub my urethra like she would rub her clit >mfw the end result 6 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)19:50:53 No.63491460 >>63491409 (OP) # > on r9k > posts a thread about his "gf" F--- OFF YOU STUPID F-----. THIS BOARD ISN'T FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU. F--- YOU F--- YOU F--- YOU F--- YOU.
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)19:47:22 No.63491409 >gf wants me to have more pleasure during sex >suggests no condom >tell her to rub my urethra like she would rub her clit >mfw the end result 6 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)19:50:53 No.63491460 >>63491409 (OP) # > on r9k > posts a thread about his "gf" F--- OFF YOU STUPID F-----. THIS BOARD ISN'T FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU. F--- YOU F--- YOU F--- YOU F--- YOU.

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Anon has friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)11:36:35 No.853471846 Just found out what it's like to be "one of the guys" if you will >My younger sister's bf and 3 of his football buddies decided to take me with them to the sand bar on his boat 394 KB PNG > They're all chads in high school (about 6 years younger than me) >Whole boat ride is super fun. Boat got up to 40mph a few times >Finally get to this little island in the middle of the river, has about 50 or so boats that all have other guys from the same school >All of the boats playing really loud country music >All the guys are chillin and drinking beer that they probably got illegally somehow >At random times they'll start chanting "What do we want? Gay sex! When do we want it? Now!" Or "C--- and Balls, C--- and Balls" >Sister's bf gets out these inflatable floaty chairs and we just float around in the river >go back on the island a little while later and throw a football around for a little bit >Get back to the boat ramp, before I get in my car they ask if they'll see me next week For the first time in 23 years it finally feels like I have friends. I'm probably gonna f--- this up somehow, but until then I actually feel happy.
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)11:36:35 No.853471846 Just found out what it's like to be "one of the guys" if you will >My younger sister's bf and 3 of his football buddies decided to take me with them to the sand bar on his boat 394 KB PNG > They're all chads in high school (about 6 years younger than me) >Whole boat ride is super fun. Boat got up to 40mph a few times >Finally get to this little island in the middle of the river, has about 50 or so boats that all have other guys from the same school >All of the boats playing really loud country music >All the guys are chillin and drinking beer that they probably got illegally somehow >At random times they'll start chanting "What do we want? Gay sex! When do we want it? Now!" Or "C--- and Balls, C--- and Balls" >Sister's bf gets out these inflatable floaty chairs and we just float around in the river >go back on the island a little while later and throw a football around for a little bit >Get back to the boat ramp, before I get in my car they ask if they'll see me next week For the first time in 23 years it finally feels like I have friends. I'm probably gonna f--- this up somehow, but until then I actually feel happy.

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Anon is exhausted by modern day internet culture | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How did we get here? 05/03/21(Mon)04:34:42 No.63493603 >Low effort trap music with generic love song lyrics is considered groundbreaking and revolutionary >Racism is "okay" if it's towards white people 245 KB PNG >Talking on the Internet now feels more restricted than talking in real life >People are treated like war heros just for calling a p-------- a dumb dumb stinky fart online >Cringe culture >Everybody thinks they're a professional critic if they get a lot of likes >Witch hunting is now called "cancelling" and is considered good >Stalking is now called "stanning" and is considered good >People are literally dying because of people fighting for biased social justice >Every fictional character needs to have a specified sexuality >Youtube is worse than actual TV >Politics are actually everywhere now >People become gay because it's trendy and not because they want to >Freedom of expression is "encouraged" but not if your expression isn't trendy
: Anonymous How did we get here? 05/03/21(Mon)04:34:42 No.63493603 >Low effort trap music with generic love song lyrics is considered groundbreaking and revolutionary >Racism is "okay" if it's towards white people 245 KB PNG >Talking on the Internet now feels more restricted than talking in real life >People are treated like war heros just for calling a p-------- a dumb dumb stinky fart online >Cringe culture >Everybody thinks they're a professional critic if they get a lot of likes >Witch hunting is now called "cancelling" and is considered good >Stalking is now called "stanning" and is considered good >People are literally dying because of people fighting for biased social justice >Every fictional character needs to have a specified sexuality >Youtube is worse than actual TV >Politics are actually everywhere now >People become gay because it's trendy and not because they want to >Freedom of expression is "encouraged" but not if your expression isn't trendy

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