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Anon has an encounter with the police | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 749949132 2 min. ago >Be me, 25 >gf works w/ the police force, so do i >we make a list of kinky s--- we want to do in our life. >last week at check up get told I have terminal cancer >family and gf devastated >remember list 22.8 kB JPG >tell gf we should do the top kinky thing on the list >gf wants to have sex in the sewers >mfw >whatever, only 3 months to live anyway >sneak out at night >go to sewers >have sex >lets me c-- in her >s--- was cash >moral of the story is >f--- the police >coming straight from the underground
Anonymous | 749949132 2 min. ago >Be me, 25 >gf works w/ the police force, so do i >we make a list of kinky s--- we want to do in our life. >last week at check up get told I have terminal cancer >family and gf devastated >remember list 22.8 kB JPG >tell gf we should do the top kinky thing on the list >gf wants to have sex in the sewers >mfw >whatever, only 3 months to live anyway >sneak out at night >go to sewers >have sex >lets me c-- in her >s--- was cash >moral of the story is >f--- the police >coming straight from the underground

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Anon is sneaky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/18(Mon)15:15:46 No.777675156 >get home from uni one day >live with two roommates, guy and grill who are in a relationship >love to touch her boobs in 21 KB JPG her sleep >one night alone, shes asleep, he's not home >nowisthetime.good >go to her room and start feeling her, instant boner >sosoft.nani >he walks in on me >beats me up, gives me black eye, breaks 2 ribs and 3 fingers >she never found out Why is my dad like this anons?
: Anonymous 08/20/18(Mon)15:15:46 No.777675156 >get home from uni one day >live with two roommates, guy and grill who are in a relationship >love to touch her boobs in 21 KB JPG her sleep >one night alone, shes asleep, he's not home >nowisthetime.good >go to her room and start feeling her, instant boner >sosoft.nani >he walks in on me >beats me up, gives me black eye, breaks 2 ribs and 3 fingers >she never found out Why is my dad like this anons?

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bin ich ein Mann? Nine | /r/Greentext

File: suicide_guy.jpg (120 KB, 1300x957) Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)05:35:51 No.853382415 [Reply] D>>853385099 >be me >5'6 subhuman >playing on vr >squeaker starts speaking >realises he's taller than me >asks him how tall he is >5'9 >asks how old he is Intire.a >9 >cries should i kill my self anon?
File: suicide_guy.jpg (120 KB, 1300x957) Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)05:35:51 No.853382415 [Reply] D>>853385099 >be me >5'6 subhuman >playing on vr >squeaker starts speaking >realises he's taller than me >asks him how tall he is >5'9 >asks how old he is Intire.a >9 >cries should i kill my self anon?

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Anon's cap is 2 inches | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)19:32:08 No.845761015 >be me 12 O >uncle forces me to do a sex tape >video gets out >school mates see it >everyone at school makes fun of 52 KB PNG me >'haha anon could only take 2 inches before tapping out' >shut up! >'anon your such a p----, when i was 10 i could take my dad AND my uncle at once' >you all sh...shut up!! >'hey anon do you have the answers to our math homework?" >*tears in eyes* >i said shut up!!! >run away crying I hated that school
: Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)19:32:08 No.845761015 >be me 12 O >uncle forces me to do a sex tape >video gets out >school mates see it >everyone at school makes fun of 52 KB PNG me >'haha anon could only take 2 inches before tapping out' >shut up! >'anon your such a p----, when i was 10 i could take my dad AND my uncle at once' >you all sh...shut up!! >'hey anon do you have the answers to our math homework?" >*tears in eyes* >i said shut up!!! >run away crying I hated that school

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Anon is an immigrant | /r/Greentext

BTENVENIDOS O Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)16:30:00 No.853165966 EKICO >be me >illegal immigrant >roaming from country to country >Becoming the world's most illegal immigrant
BTENVENIDOS O Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)16:30:00 No.853165966 EKICO >be me >illegal immigrant >roaming from country to country >Becoming the world's most illegal immigrant

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)21:27:00 No.63461418 >be me about a week ago >in college class >answered some question the prof asked >kid in my class makes a joke and says that I talk in Times New Roman 185 KB PNG >whatthefuckdoesthatmean.jpg >everyone laughs >they say they meant it as a compliment What the f--- does this mean? Im a bit autistic so I don't get clues like this. Am I just being made fun of?
: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)21:27:00 No.63461418 >be me about a week ago >in college class >answered some question the prof asked >kid in my class makes a joke and says that I talk in Times New Roman 185 KB PNG >whatthefuckdoesthatmean.jpg >everyone laughs >they say they meant it as a compliment What the f--- does this mean? Im a bit autistic so I don't get clues like this. Am I just being made fun of?

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Pachelbel's Cannon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)22:17:24 No.853360323 >Be me hate weddings >Get invited to friends wedding >Be given bag of rice to throw over couples heads as they leave >Pelt couple with rice as hard as possible instead >Never get invited to weddings 1.16 MB JPG anymore God i love my genius
: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)22:17:24 No.853360323 >Be me hate weddings >Get invited to friends wedding >Be given bag of rice to throw over couples heads as they leave >Pelt couple with rice as hard as possible instead >Never get invited to weddings 1.16 MB JPG anymore God i love my genius

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Anon is trying new things | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)16:45:28 No.63468123 >desperately lonely >decide to get topped >go on Grindr and find some dude to stretch me out >can't get an erection >let him f--- my up the ass >it hurts, realise I'm 100% straight >pretend to enjoy it and let him finish because I 23 KB JPG don't want to be rude >find excuse to leave >go home, uninstall Grindr and go back to wishing I had a gf instead Don't fall for the meme
: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)16:45:28 No.63468123 >desperately lonely >decide to get topped >go on Grindr and find some dude to stretch me out >can't get an erection >let him f--- my up the ass >it hurts, realise I'm 100% straight >pretend to enjoy it and let him finish because I 23 KB JPG don't want to be rude >find excuse to leave >go home, uninstall Grindr and go back to wishing I had a gf instead Don't fall for the meme

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Anon BTFO'es vegans. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/18(Thu)20:04:07 No.11576914 Abacus.png 7 KB PNG >Vegans complain about inhumane conditions for animals No f------ s--- the conditions are inhumane, they're not human
: Anonymous 12/06/18(Thu)20:04:07 No.11576914 Abacus.png 7 KB PNG >Vegans complain about inhumane conditions for animals No f------ s--- the conditions are inhumane, they're not human

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Anon is home alone | /r/Greentext

>Be me, suspended from school >Wake up home alone >J------- >Nobody's around so I decide to tell really loudly during my coom >Pull up my pants >Begin walking around my house with my 20 KB JPG phone playing old rock music really loudly >l'm singing and dancing around like an autist, imagining that me and my friends are in a band playing the songs >I can smell the coom from my j------- session earlier >Decide to take a shower >In the shower for like 20 minutes screeching Amarillo by Morning at the top of my lungs >Finish shower, turn off the water >"Anon what do you want from Dunkin?" >Mfw it was my mom >Mfw she never left >My f------ face when she was listening to all of that in the next room over This happened 5 or 6 years ago and it still keeps me up at night
>Be me, suspended from school >Wake up home alone >J------- >Nobody's around so I decide to tell really loudly during my coom >Pull up my pants >Begin walking around my house with my 20 KB JPG phone playing old rock music really loudly >l'm singing and dancing around like an autist, imagining that me and my friends are in a band playing the songs >I can smell the coom from my j------- session earlier >Decide to take a shower >In the shower for like 20 minutes screeching Amarillo by Morning at the top of my lungs >Finish shower, turn off the water >"Anon what do you want from Dunkin?" >Mfw it was my mom >Mfw she never left >My f------ face when she was listening to all of that in the next room over This happened 5 or 6 years ago and it still keeps me up at night

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Anon doesn‘t get incels | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)13:58:43 No.63467260 >despises women >writes essays on why women are terrible >god I wish I could have a wife >writes essays on why being an incel is terrible 74 KB PNG >continues to despise women even more Why do they do this to themselves?
: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)13:58:43 No.63467260 >despises women >writes essays on why women are terrible >god I wish I could have a wife >writes essays on why being an incel is terrible 74 KB PNG >continues to despise women even more Why do they do this to themselves?

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Anon plays Paper Mario | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/23/18(Sat)19:13:48 No.772383429 >be 9 >playing Paper Mario >halfway through game get to part where you have to buy a quest item from a store >shop owner (toad) says item is out of stock and will be in stock soon 309 KB PNG >assume it means I have to actually WAIT for it >spend 3 IRL months checking in the game to see if the item has come in stock yet >8 years later watching a speedrun of the game >realize you didn't have to f------ wait for it, you just had to f------ continue the game and it'd come after a checkpoint am I retarded 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/23/18(Sat)19:26:54 No.772384417 yes
: Anonymous 06/23/18(Sat)19:13:48 No.772383429 >be 9 >playing Paper Mario >halfway through game get to part where you have to buy a quest item from a store >shop owner (toad) says item is out of stock and will be in stock soon 309 KB PNG >assume it means I have to actually WAIT for it >spend 3 IRL months checking in the game to see if the item has come in stock yet >8 years later watching a speedrun of the game >realize you didn't have to f------ wait for it, you just had to f------ continue the game and it'd come after a checkpoint am I retarded 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/23/18(Sat)19:26:54 No.772384417 yes

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Anon had me in the fist half | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Zwfn0gJH Imagine... 05/01/21(Sat)11:17:41 No.319493977 >be me >Be an arbitrary currency that is not backed by anything >be the source of inflation caused by over-speculation and the over- reliance on investment firms >be the source of revenue for 130 KB JPG criminals, ponzi schemes and multi-level marketing scams >be the US Dollar Pic unrelated.
: Anonymous (ID: Zwfn0gJH Imagine... 05/01/21(Sat)11:17:41 No.319493977 >be me >Be an arbitrary currency that is not backed by anything >be the source of inflation caused by over-speculation and the over- reliance on investment firms >be the source of revenue for 130 KB JPG criminals, ponzi schemes and multi-level marketing scams >be the US Dollar Pic unrelated.

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Anon uses an Aimbot | /r/Greentext

Hey you denizens, I'm back with another story. >be me >16 going on 17 >Nephew invites me to his Bday party 15 KB JPG >why not >learn he invited his friends and crush >l arrive >see his bois and his crush >j------- located >day goes on >playing nerf and kicking ass >end of the day >we have a room with a wall of nerf guns and ammo >me and crush on a team >we go into room to get supplies >loading my mags thinking about game plan >hear from behind “now is as good a time as any" >turn around >her belt is off and shes pulling her pants down >This bitch >"pull your pants up" >shes listens >run out of the room and immediately shoot a dart down the barrel of my nephews gun jamming it. >win >i can feel my self confidence growing ever stronger >End the night with her playing with my hair as i sit on the floor resting >Nephew is p----- Its nerf or nothing bitch.
Hey you denizens, I'm back with another story. >be me >16 going on 17 >Nephew invites me to his Bday party 15 KB JPG >why not >learn he invited his friends and crush >l arrive >see his bois and his crush >j------- located >day goes on >playing nerf and kicking ass >end of the day >we have a room with a wall of nerf guns and ammo >me and crush on a team >we go into room to get supplies >loading my mags thinking about game plan >hear from behind “now is as good a time as any" >turn around >her belt is off and shes pulling her pants down >This bitch >"pull your pants up" >shes listens >run out of the room and immediately shoot a dart down the barrel of my nephews gun jamming it. >win >i can feel my self confidence growing ever stronger >End the night with her playing with my hair as i sit on the floor resting >Nephew is p----- Its nerf or nothing bitch.

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Anon can't grow beard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:31:50 No.63453403 >tfw you aren't allowed to do the things Chad will do as society will judge you >tfw you are genetic dead end just because you have no chin Only a couple millimetres decide your fate 6 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:42:22 No.63453505 >>63453403 (OP)# Grow a beard f----- >>63453562 # : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:49:51 No.63453562 >>63453505 # I cannot
: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:31:50 No.63453403 >tfw you aren't allowed to do the things Chad will do as society will judge you >tfw you are genetic dead end just because you have no chin Only a couple millimetres decide your fate 6 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:42:22 No.63453505 >>63453403 (OP)# Grow a beard f----- >>63453562 # : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:49:51 No.63453562 >>63453505 # I cannot

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Anon uses a printer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 793412902 12 min. ago ••• Greentext stories thread. I'll start >be me >horny as f--- the whole day >finally come home >directly boot up pc and start fapping >mid-fap want to switch to different p--- vid >try to use my left hand to use the mouse since d--- is in right one >miss click the right mouse button and click print from the menu >think nothing of it since printer is off and it needs approval to print s--- >fast forward acouple of days later >mom wants to print an excel chart for work 8.6 kB JPG >calls me to help her >printer s---- out 2 sheets of paper >mfw i see a screencap of the weird p--- s--- i was watching slowly emerge from the printer
Anonymous | 793412902 12 min. ago ••• Greentext stories thread. I'll start >be me >horny as f--- the whole day >finally come home >directly boot up pc and start fapping >mid-fap want to switch to different p--- vid >try to use my left hand to use the mouse since d--- is in right one >miss click the right mouse button and click print from the menu >think nothing of it since printer is off and it needs approval to print s--- >fast forward acouple of days later >mom wants to print an excel chart for work 8.6 kB JPG >calls me to help her >printer s---- out 2 sheets of paper >mfw i see a screencap of the weird p--- s--- i was watching slowly emerge from the printer

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anon is child free | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/27/19(Thu)23:04:40 No.803324532 >stupid as f--- >you have to teach them everything >also have to feed them >have to clean up their s--- >will wake you at unreasonable 55 KB JPG hours >most people consider them cute, but they aren't >expensive to take care of Why do people want babies? Pic unrelated
: Anonymous 06/27/19(Thu)23:04:40 No.803324532 >stupid as f--- >you have to teach them everything >also have to feed them >have to clean up their s--- >will wake you at unreasonable 55 KB JPG hours >most people consider them cute, but they aren't >expensive to take care of Why do people want babies? Pic unrelated

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Anon is from Chicago | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/17(Wed)20:23:52 No.721801441 >Be me >Walking around downtown Chicago >Find flashdrive >Take it home and boot it up on my laptop >One folder on it 7 KB JPG >Named MF.exe >Open it >Filled with hundreds of pictures of Morgan Freeman >mfw Pic related, it was on the drive 8 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 02/08/17(Wed)20:23:52 No.721801441 >Be me >Walking around downtown Chicago >Find flashdrive >Take it home and boot it up on my laptop >One folder on it 7 KB JPG >Named MF.exe >Open it >Filled with hundreds of pictures of Morgan Freeman >mfw Pic related, it was on the drive 8 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon’s world has been shattered | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ngmi 04/30/21(Fri)20:50:47 No.63460967 > Always thought I was an average 5'8. >mfw am actually f------ 5'7. 28 KB JPG
: Anonymous ngmi 04/30/21(Fri)20:50:47 No.63460967 > Always thought I was an average 5'8. >mfw am actually f------ 5'7. 28 KB JPG

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Anon on FDS | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:29:10 No.63455454 r/femaledatingstrategy: > Bragging to random people on the internet about how you will most likely be single forever > Hates men > Traceable account 6 KB JPG 4chan: > Bragging to random people on the internet about how you will most likely be single forever > Hates women > Anonymous and they act like we're the dumb ones reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/
: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:29:10 No.63455454 r/femaledatingstrategy: > Bragging to random people on the internet about how you will most likely be single forever > Hates men > Traceable account 6 KB JPG 4chan: > Bragging to random people on the internet about how you will most likely be single forever > Hates women > Anonymous and they act like we're the dumb ones reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/

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