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Anon gets a new nickname | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/20(Wed)14:36:35 No.839823374 Rare insults thread ill start first: >be in 6th grade >get 2% on the test >nicknamed milk for the rest of the school year 76 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/11/20(Wed)14:36:35 No.839823374 Rare insults thread ill start first: >be in 6th grade >get 2% on the test >nicknamed milk for the rest of the school year 76 KB JPG

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Anon is unlucky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)21:56:37 No.853113093 >be me >born virgin It was rigged from the start 1.46 MB PNG 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)21:56:37 No.853113093 >be me >born virgin It was rigged from the start 1.46 MB PNG 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon is training for someone | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)23:43:03 No.59661775 are you training for someone? 218 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)23:46:36 No.59661822 >>59661775 (OP) # Yes. I'm lifting for the boy who never had anyone to sit with at lunch, who never got asked to a school dance, who never had any friends, who never had anyone to celebrate his accomplishments with, who spent the weekend in the psych ward for being suicidal, who had to stay as quiet as humanly possible to avoid waking up his alcoholic parents. I'm doing this for past self, to give him hope and show him that things do get better. We're all gonna make it /fit/ >>59662262 # >>59662738 # >>59662787 # >>59662804 # >>59663104 #
| Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)23:43:03 No.59661775 are you training for someone? 218 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)23:46:36 No.59661822 >>59661775 (OP) # Yes. I'm lifting for the boy who never had anyone to sit with at lunch, who never got asked to a school dance, who never had any friends, who never had anyone to celebrate his accomplishments with, who spent the weekend in the psych ward for being suicidal, who had to stay as quiet as humanly possible to avoid waking up his alcoholic parents. I'm doing this for past self, to give him hope and show him that things do get better. We're all gonna make it /fit/ >>59662262 # >>59662738 # >>59662787 # >>59662804 # >>59663104 #

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Anon doesn't like reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)18:33:10 No.551571831 127044CA-B3B5-4700-B032-E0835BDEE30F,jpg 138 KB JPG >551570270 (OP) # >Red, Redd n Reddit >>551572035 # >>551572047 # >>551572695 #
: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)18:33:10 No.551571831 127044CA-B3B5-4700-B032-E0835BDEE30F,jpg 138 KB JPG >551570270 (OP) # >Red, Redd n Reddit >>551572035 # >>551572047 # >>551572695 #

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Anon makes a pun | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)10:45:56 No.853096777 AC7FD7BA-AFDD-4D30-A4E7-16FA9E8C717D.jpg 214 KB JPG >it be me! >it be me! I am a 4chanate son, yeah!
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)10:45:56 No.853096777 AC7FD7BA-AFDD-4D30-A4E7-16FA9E8C717D.jpg 214 KB JPG >it be me! >it be me! I am a 4chanate son, yeah!

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The Constant | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)07:09:44 No.63346436 File: marcille.jpg (194 KB, 953x954) >live a long, happy life with your elven wife >she was 200 when you met her >she's 260 now >looks the same as the day you met >be human >die >elf wife suffers and mourns you for hundreds of years alone That's f------ why.
O Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)07:09:44 No.63346436 File: marcille.jpg (194 KB, 953x954) >live a long, happy life with your elven wife >she was 200 when you met her >she's 260 now >looks the same as the day you met >be human >die >elf wife suffers and mourns you for hundreds of years alone That's f------ why.

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Anon goes to jail | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)17:19:10 No.62646855 >be you >meet 17 yo girl in a club for adults >she looks kinda young so you ask her age >she says 18 >about to have sex 7 KB JPG >you don't wanna go to jail so you ask her for her ID >she shows you a fake ID that says shes 18 >you do it >go to jail and lose your life >get put on the sex offenders registry alongside actual pedos and rapists How does this even make any sense? What are you supposed to even do at that point,? Exclusively f--- people who look over 25? Ask for 2 separate documents? 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)17:19:10 No.62646855 >be you >meet 17 yo girl in a club for adults >she looks kinda young so you ask her age >she says 18 >about to have sex 7 KB JPG >you don't wanna go to jail so you ask her for her ID >she shows you a fake ID that says shes 18 >you do it >go to jail and lose your life >get put on the sex offenders registry alongside actual pedos and rapists How does this even make any sense? What are you supposed to even do at that point,? Exclusively f--- people who look over 25? Ask for 2 separate documents? 3 Replies View Thread

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Femanon wants advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)13:11:22 No.63395840 >cute guy with blue eyes standing outside the cafe and talking to some ppl >try staring at his eyes >He sees me nothing happens and I leave in embassment and anxiety >Later pass by a qt light blonde guy 150 KB PNG and try staring at his eyes while we cross >He sees and nothing happens Is my approach wrong? Should I start wearing makeup?l am not fat what should I do? Please give me advice and not just bully for having been born with a vagina
: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)13:11:22 No.63395840 >cute guy with blue eyes standing outside the cafe and talking to some ppl >try staring at his eyes >He sees me nothing happens and I leave in embassment and anxiety >Later pass by a qt light blonde guy 150 KB PNG and try staring at his eyes while we cross >He sees and nothing happens Is my approach wrong? Should I start wearing makeup?l am not fat what should I do? Please give me advice and not just bully for having been born with a vagina

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Anon is frog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)23:13:15 No.853088457 >be me, a frog >enjoying my meal of flying insect f--- >huge beast walks up to me >skin color of sand >he picks me up >terrified for my life >he pets me 150 KB PNG >i piss all over his hand >he throws me while making a strange noise >no longer scared >am happy frog
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)23:13:15 No.853088457 >be me, a frog >enjoying my meal of flying insect f--- >huge beast walks up to me >skin color of sand >he picks me up >terrified for my life >he pets me 150 KB PNG >i piss all over his hand >he throws me while making a strange noise >no longer scared >am happy frog

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May the light of God cleanse your soul | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)14:57:09 No.853087677 >be me >l really get my schtick tickled by Giant Femboy p--- lately >l usually spunk on my bunk >Parents are omega Christian >One day they bring an UV flashlight home 33 KB JPG > "Anon, we want to check your room to make sure you haven't been doing anything sinful" >They point the light at my bed >Waitno >Lightfromheavens.rus >Parents vaporised instantly >Neighbors cat catches on fire >S--- looks like an actual rapture I guess I'm gonna get sent to the orphanage for the third time this month
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)14:57:09 No.853087677 >be me >l really get my schtick tickled by Giant Femboy p--- lately >l usually spunk on my bunk >Parents are omega Christian >One day they bring an UV flashlight home 33 KB JPG > "Anon, we want to check your room to make sure you haven't been doing anything sinful" >They point the light at my bed >Waitno >Lightfromheavens.rus >Parents vaporised instantly >Neighbors cat catches on fire >S--- looks like an actual rapture I guess I'm gonna get sent to the orphanage for the third time this month

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Anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

1h (4/27 9:15) · 853076911 21 Re · 3 Img · JPG 282KB · (1080 × 1075) 7 Replies Spas What are some dumb things you believed as a child? >Figured out jerking off entirely by accident >Kept it a secret for about 3 years because I thought I was the only one figured it out >Wanted to patent m----------- when I turn 18 and make billions off of it 1h (4/27 9:18) · 853077032 I thought doing sit-ups would make my d--- bigger
1h (4/27 9:15) · 853076911 21 Re · 3 Img · JPG 282KB · (1080 × 1075) 7 Replies Spas What are some dumb things you believed as a child? >Figured out jerking off entirely by accident >Kept it a secret for about 3 years because I thought I was the only one figured it out >Wanted to patent m----------- when I turn 18 and make billions off of it 1h (4/27 9:18) · 853077032 I thought doing sit-ups would make my d--- bigger

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Anon takes a shower | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)05:41:14 No.853082901 >be me >taking a normal shower, my left nostril kinda clogged. >press on the right one with my finger and blow air >try to aim for the drain 136 KB PNG >snot shoots out like a bullet >hit my d--- >mfw
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)05:41:14 No.853082901 >be me >taking a normal shower, my left nostril kinda clogged. >press on the right one with my finger and blow air >try to aim for the drain 136 KB PNG >snot shoots out like a bullet >hit my d--- >mfw

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Anon has a fetish (link in comments) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)09:50:31 No.63406040 >be me >in england >its night time >some van quickly goes down the street chasing a giant rabbit >theres a f------ dog driving the 6 KB JPG car >he pushes a button and the hood of the van opens up, a f------ hand comes out with a lasso to try and catch the rabbit >coom and then wake up >mfw I had a f------ wet dream of that one scene from wallace and gromit (link related)
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)09:50:31 No.63406040 >be me >in england >its night time >some van quickly goes down the street chasing a giant rabbit >theres a f------ dog driving the 6 KB JPG car >he pushes a button and the hood of the van opens up, a f------ hand comes out with a lasso to try and catch the rabbit >coom and then wake up >mfw I had a f------ wet dream of that one scene from wallace and gromit (link related)

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Anons life gets better | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)21:21:13 No.63402395 >be me >had a group of childhood friends, early times were fun as s--- >life progresses, the group gets more hostile towards me >they make conceited efforts to isolate me from my friends 70 KB JPG >the group is the textbook definition of narcissistic abusers >realize friendship is done, make friends with former group member >group loses s---, gets me banned off PSN as retaliation, they stalk me to this day >months go by >mental health improves >start working out more often >grades improve >girls have finally shown interest in me after I got over them >might score a gf soon. If not, then oh well >life is good now Leaving a group of childhood "friends" easily takes the cake for the best decision I have ever made for myself. bloomer pic related
: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)21:21:13 No.63402395 >be me >had a group of childhood friends, early times were fun as s--- >life progresses, the group gets more hostile towards me >they make conceited efforts to isolate me from my friends 70 KB JPG >the group is the textbook definition of narcissistic abusers >realize friendship is done, make friends with former group member >group loses s---, gets me banned off PSN as retaliation, they stalk me to this day >months go by >mental health improves >start working out more often >grades improve >girls have finally shown interest in me after I got over them >might score a gf soon. If not, then oh well >life is good now Leaving a group of childhood "friends" easily takes the cake for the best decision I have ever made for myself. bloomer pic related

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Anon finds out shit tastes and smells like shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)14:09:54 No.853078072 I just bought some poop from a hot girl and when it arrived I opened the bag and it smelled like s--- dude I tried to taste it but I couldn't my whole room smells like s--- right now and I can't get the stink out f--- 414 KB PNG 21 Replies / 4 lImages View Thread
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)14:09:54 No.853078072 I just bought some poop from a hot girl and when it arrived I opened the bag and it smelled like s--- dude I tried to taste it but I couldn't my whole room smells like s--- right now and I can't get the stink out f--- 414 KB PNG 21 Replies / 4 lImages View Thread

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Anon has autism | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a close call | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:26:09 No.63407494 >9/10 coworker says she needs to take a piss but the toilets are under maintenance >forget I'm not on the internet and almost say "why don't you piss in my mouth" It almost came out of my mouth. 303 KB JPG Luckily I could hold myself back.
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:26:09 No.63407494 >9/10 coworker says she needs to take a piss but the toilets are under maintenance >forget I'm not on the internet and almost say "why don't you piss in my mouth" It almost came out of my mouth. 303 KB JPG Luckily I could hold myself back.

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Anon lost virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:14:09 No.63401953 >Buy a virginity rocks hoodie >Wear it everywhere I go >stop wearing it after a week >Technically means I lost my virginity >Later Virgins 82 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:14:09 No.63401953 >Buy a virginity rocks hoodie >Wear it everywhere I go >stop wearing it after a week >Technically means I lost my virginity >Later Virgins 82 KB JPG

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anon is lazy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)03:08:47 No.63406192 >tfw smart but lazy 97 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)03:10:21 No.63406208 : Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)03:12:39 No.63406225 >>63406192 (OP) # >tfw you thought you were smart but lazy but you were actually retarded all along
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)03:08:47 No.63406192 >tfw smart but lazy 97 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)03:10:21 No.63406208 : Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)03:12:39 No.63406225 >>63406192 (OP) # >tfw you thought you were smart but lazy but you were actually retarded all along

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Anon tells a story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me 353 KB PNG >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me 353 KB PNG >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro

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