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Anon is terrified | /r/Greentext

>be me >have cat >small goblin who follows me around house >very loud and cuddly >love her very much 55 KB JPG >notice one day she's eating less >slowly over the week she's moving around less and not drinking often >house is quieter and she's sleeping a lot >she's old now and i think it's her time I'm not ready /b/ I'm just not ready
>be me >have cat >small goblin who follows me around house >very loud and cuddly >love her very much 55 KB JPG >notice one day she's eating less >slowly over the week she's moving around less and not drinking often >house is quieter and she's sleeping a lot >she's old now and i think it's her time I'm not ready /b/ I'm just not ready

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Anon has idea for a movie. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/17(Mon)15:16:10 No.749583471 Can someone please make this a movie >Stereotypical zombie movie >End of the movie has the main character being surrounded >Main character chuckles, then 71 KB JPG says some witty line >Main character then reveals that he has been wearing a mask the whole time >Underneath its patchy the pirate >"Are you ready kids?" >Patchy then proceeds to kill each zombie with his erect c--- >Movie ends
: Anonymous 10/30/17(Mon)15:16:10 No.749583471 Can someone please make this a movie >Stereotypical zombie movie >End of the movie has the main character being surrounded >Main character chuckles, then 71 KB JPG says some witty line >Main character then reveals that he has been wearing a mask the whole time >Underneath its patchy the pirate >"Are you ready kids?" >Patchy then proceeds to kill each zombie with his erect c--- >Movie ends

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Anon works at a club | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)16:05:21 No.776783830 Interesting stories? >work as barista at club >19yo eurofag, drinking age 18 here >150 people, big majority are underaged >theres this pipe in the ceiling that's like 7- 8 feet off the ground in one corner, a 234 KB JPG manlet can reach it >14-16yo druggie delinquents dancing like apes >one of them accidentally hits pipe >pipe disconnects from wall, hits another kid in the head >same kid turns around and punches first guy behind him >fight erupts, more idiots join in >shitstorm.mp4 >20 kids f------ fist fighting for a good 5 minutes, music stops >at one point they stop and realize the pipe started the brawl >they tell DJ everything is OK >music starts again, party continues >all of them continue dancing like nothing happened >mfw witnessing all that happen from behind the bar f------ slav parties man
: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)16:05:21 No.776783830 Interesting stories? >work as barista at club >19yo eurofag, drinking age 18 here >150 people, big majority are underaged >theres this pipe in the ceiling that's like 7- 8 feet off the ground in one corner, a 234 KB JPG manlet can reach it >14-16yo druggie delinquents dancing like apes >one of them accidentally hits pipe >pipe disconnects from wall, hits another kid in the head >same kid turns around and punches first guy behind him >fight erupts, more idiots join in >shitstorm.mp4 >20 kids f------ fist fighting for a good 5 minutes, music stops >at one point they stop and realize the pipe started the brawl >they tell DJ everything is OK >music starts again, party continues >all of them continue dancing like nothing happened >mfw witnessing all that happen from behind the bar f------ slav parties man

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Racism is fuego | /r/Greentext

The Blunted Sultan 04/27/21(Tue)02:22:03 No.63405318 Racism is fuego >Вe me, 15 >Freshman, got invited to party because funny+pity >At rich kids lakehouse, speedboats and tennis courts and s--- >All alone, no friends. Even marching band kids reject me >Keep drinking cans of soda. See the 398 КВ PNG last grape flavor >Get Grade-A retard idea because teenager >Find only black dude at party. Jamal- very cool, plays bass, gets laid a lot. He's talking to 4 or 5 рeople >Tap his shoulder, he turns around. >"Hey Jamal, I got this for you. Judging by the color of your skin I thought you'd have dibs on the last one" >Long silence. Realize I did a bad racism >He finally says "Yo, I would beat the f--- out of you. but I LOVE grape soda" >He highfives me, everyone laughs >Jamal is so cool >Learn that racism is okay if it's funny
The Blunted Sultan 04/27/21(Tue)02:22:03 No.63405318 Racism is fuego >Вe me, 15 >Freshman, got invited to party because funny+pity >At rich kids lakehouse, speedboats and tennis courts and s--- >All alone, no friends. Even marching band kids reject me >Keep drinking cans of soda. See the 398 КВ PNG last grape flavor >Get Grade-A retard idea because teenager >Find only black dude at party. Jamal- very cool, plays bass, gets laid a lot. He's talking to 4 or 5 рeople >Tap his shoulder, he turns around. >"Hey Jamal, I got this for you. Judging by the color of your skin I thought you'd have dibs on the last one" >Long silence. Realize I did a bad racism >He finally says "Yo, I would beat the f--- out of you. but I LOVE grape soda" >He highfives me, everyone laughs >Jamal is so cool >Learn that racism is okay if it's funny

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Anon is tricked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)19:16:53 No.852960745 >be me >watching anime with gf >anime girl with humongous t--- comes on screen >"wow anon, she's got bigger boobs than me" 20 KB PNG >"yeah" >flips out at me >"w-- anon? you think she's better?" >"what? no!" >continues to flip out this bitch set me up do women really feel the need for constant validation that they're so special? | Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)19:22:04 No.852961094 >>852960745 (OP) # anon, why don't you just become a f----- and find yourself a man 6 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)19:30:43 No.852961700 some do don't date those women, find a chill one : Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)19:33:08 No.852961859 >>852960745 (OP) # if she's going to flip over an anime, imagine what she would do over a girl you see while being with her on the street. she sounds childish.
: Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)19:16:53 No.852960745 >be me >watching anime with gf >anime girl with humongous t--- comes on screen >"wow anon, she's got bigger boobs than me" 20 KB PNG >"yeah" >flips out at me >"w-- anon? you think she's better?" >"what? no!" >continues to flip out this bitch set me up do women really feel the need for constant validation that they're so special? | Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)19:22:04 No.852961094 >>852960745 (OP) # anon, why don't you just become a f----- and find yourself a man 6 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)19:30:43 No.852961700 some do don't date those women, find a chill one : Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)19:33:08 No.852961859 >>852960745 (OP) # if she's going to flip over an anime, imagine what she would do over a girl you see while being with her on the street. she sounds childish.

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Anon's impression of Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)01:08:45 No.63329573 >now that the dust has settled 152 KB PNG 3 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)01:09:49 No.63329581 >>63329573 (OP) # >to be quite honest 7 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)01:12:35 No.63329606 >>63329573 (OP) # >WOAAH, thank you for the gold kind stranger!!11! Never expected this to blow up the way it did!1! 11 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)01:21:24 No.63329658 >>63329573 (OP) # >just not my cup of tea 57 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)01:08:45 No.63329573 >now that the dust has settled 152 KB PNG 3 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)01:09:49 No.63329581 >>63329573 (OP) # >to be quite honest 7 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)01:12:35 No.63329606 >>63329573 (OP) # >WOAAH, thank you for the gold kind stranger!!11! Never expected this to blow up the way it did!1! 11 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)01:21:24 No.63329658 >>63329573 (OP) # >just not my cup of tea 57 KB PNG

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Anon is a silly goose | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)14:09:04 No.852943805 >Barges into any discussion or arguement >"The Jews did it" >Refuses to provide any further elaboration >Leaves 127 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)14:09:04 No.852943805 >Barges into any discussion or arguement >"The Jews did it" >Refuses to provide any further elaboration >Leaves 127 KB PNG

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Never never land | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)20:25:31 No.63401707 >first time >went really well >girl asks how I know to do what I did >mfw it was sex tips I got on reddit 7 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)20:25:31 No.63401707 >first time >went really well >girl asks how I know to do what I did >mfw it was sex tips I got on reddit 7 KB JPG

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We will teach you well grasshopper | /r/Greentext


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Anon’s plan | /r/Greentext


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Anon isnt you | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)00:31:46 No.853044209 >Be me >Don't be you >Me:1 >Life:0 >You:-5 129 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)00:32:28 No.853044260 hey f--- you, pal
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)00:31:46 No.853044209 >Be me >Don't be you >Me:1 >Life:0 >You:-5 129 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)00:32:28 No.853044260 hey f--- you, pal

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Anon experiences racism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)22:35:28 No.853060753 >Be me black >Be Lightskin >See dumb post on twitter saying cops shouldn't stop black fights >Respond saying thats dumb >Get called a racist 24 KB JPG >Respond saying i'm black myself >She asks for a pic of my arm with a piece of paper with my twitter name >Send her said picture >Get told that I don't look black >Respond saying i'm lightskin >She legit says "Then your not actually black, You have more white genes >Tell her both of my parents are African American >She says they aren't black either >She blocks me after. Why are people like this
: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)22:35:28 No.853060753 >Be me black >Be Lightskin >See dumb post on twitter saying cops shouldn't stop black fights >Respond saying thats dumb >Get called a racist 24 KB JPG >Respond saying i'm black myself >She asks for a pic of my arm with a piece of paper with my twitter name >Send her said picture >Get told that I don't look black >Respond saying i'm lightskin >She legit says "Then your not actually black, You have more white genes >Tell her both of my parents are African American >She says they aren't black either >She blocks me after. Why are people like this

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Anon is a Austrian | /r/Greentext


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anon is bad at first impressions | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: IPha3kZp) 07/27/12(Fri)13:07:54 No.415034363 ITT: Bad first impressions > Went to girlfriend's house > First time meeting parents > Pull into driveway >I know she has a cat and a dog > Remember I have my laser pointer > excellent.png > Think I'm gonna make everyone's day by playing with the animals > All shall lol > Go inside > Hi, Hello, My name is Derp, I'm 19, etc. > Dog on couch > Cat walks into room > Shine laser pointer on floor > Cat leaps for it > Dog leaps for it > Dog attacks cat for whatever the f--- reason > Cat died > Dog has heart attack > Dog died > MFW I killed these people's beloved pets within five minutes of meeting them Anonymous (ID: UxoZV5xK) 07/27/12(Fri)13:10:06 No.415034636 File: 1343409006753.jpg-(17 KB, 235x284, 1335247816033.jpg) >mfw Anonymous (ID: tcTk5K3x) 07/27/12(Fri)13:10:07 No.415034640 B------- Anonymous (ID: CzjW16lb) 07/27/12(Fri)13:10:36 No.415034701 You're pretty much my hero right now.
Anonymous (ID: IPha3kZp) 07/27/12(Fri)13:07:54 No.415034363 ITT: Bad first impressions > Went to girlfriend's house > First time meeting parents > Pull into driveway >I know she has a cat and a dog > Remember I have my laser pointer > excellent.png > Think I'm gonna make everyone's day by playing with the animals > All shall lol > Go inside > Hi, Hello, My name is Derp, I'm 19, etc. > Dog on couch > Cat walks into room > Shine laser pointer on floor > Cat leaps for it > Dog leaps for it > Dog attacks cat for whatever the f--- reason > Cat died > Dog has heart attack > Dog died > MFW I killed these people's beloved pets within five minutes of meeting them Anonymous (ID: UxoZV5xK) 07/27/12(Fri)13:10:06 No.415034636 File: 1343409006753.jpg-(17 KB, 235x284, 1335247816033.jpg) >mfw Anonymous (ID: tcTk5K3x) 07/27/12(Fri)13:10:07 No.415034640 B------- Anonymous (ID: CzjW16lb) 07/27/12(Fri)13:10:36 No.415034701 You're pretty much my hero right now.

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Anon finds a bug | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Who else here beat the system? 01/04/21(Mon)20:48:58 No.61714257 >be me >turn 18 last summer >start getting credit card offers in the mail >get every card I possibly can, Visa, AmEx, all the big ones >get cards for specific gas station 73 KB JPG chains, stores, phone providers, all that >end up with about 15 cards total, max them all out >recent purchases include a PS5 and a new TV >have about $25k in debt across all the cards >don't pay any monthly bills >get late notices, tons of fees added on, debt just grows and grows without me even spending anymore >seems like a big deal accept for one small detail >notice all the cards have an expiration date >just have to wait it out until they expire, then the debt evaporates and it's like it never happened >sorry visa, I was just playing the game you created
: Anonymous Who else here beat the system? 01/04/21(Mon)20:48:58 No.61714257 >be me >turn 18 last summer >start getting credit card offers in the mail >get every card I possibly can, Visa, AmEx, all the big ones >get cards for specific gas station 73 KB JPG chains, stores, phone providers, all that >end up with about 15 cards total, max them all out >recent purchases include a PS5 and a new TV >have about $25k in debt across all the cards >don't pay any monthly bills >get late notices, tons of fees added on, debt just grows and grows without me even spending anymore >seems like a big deal accept for one small detail >notice all the cards have an expiration date >just have to wait it out until they expire, then the debt evaporates and it's like it never happened >sorry visa, I was just playing the game you created

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Anon becomes a redditor | /r/Greentext

>be me >bored of 4chan >go onto reddit >immediately gain 300 pounds of fat >i grow a neck beard within seconds >my hair forms a fedora-like shape >its done >im a redditor now >thanks for the gold kind stranger Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)12:16:38 No.853017270 File: DioYoung.jpg (89 KB, 702x702) Screen cap me as well.
>be me >bored of 4chan >go onto reddit >immediately gain 300 pounds of fat >i grow a neck beard within seconds >my hair forms a fedora-like shape >its done >im a redditor now >thanks for the gold kind stranger Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)12:16:38 No.853017270 File: DioYoung.jpg (89 KB, 702x702) Screen cap me as well.

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Anon messes up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)13:18:04 No.63395943 >be me, Meeting with Girl from school >she eventually opens up to me abt her Trauma, talks abt how horrible and hard her life is >Think of something comforting to 70 KB JPG say >quote Marc aurel >"speak not 'oh unlucky me that i had to endure this or that' but instead speak 'oh lucky me that i endured all that but still managed to live on' because all this could Happen to everyone, but not everyone could Manage to not break under it" >she stares at me blankly, starts crying uncontrollably 9 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)14:15:57 No.63396696 Again, it was known forever that women were not logical. And that it was "rational man" who achieved philosophy.
: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)13:18:04 No.63395943 >be me, Meeting with Girl from school >she eventually opens up to me abt her Trauma, talks abt how horrible and hard her life is >Think of something comforting to 70 KB JPG say >quote Marc aurel >"speak not 'oh unlucky me that i had to endure this or that' but instead speak 'oh lucky me that i endured all that but still managed to live on' because all this could Happen to everyone, but not everyone could Manage to not break under it" >she stares at me blankly, starts crying uncontrollably 9 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)14:15:57 No.63396696 Again, it was known forever that women were not logical. And that it was "rational man" who achieved philosophy.

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Anon got yelled at | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/19/19(Thu)13:23:14 No.816571547 please be patient I have autism >be me >amateur MMA fighter >mostly just a hobby, do it to stay in shape etc. >also help train kids at the gym I fight for >teaching 12-13 year old kid how to 77 KB JPG stand and hit pads, simple s--- >kid has high-functioning autism >out of nowhere he looks at me and says "How high does the grass grow in Germany" >Think it's just a weird autist question >"I don't know, probably the same as here" >"About this high" he then proceeds to give a full Nazi salute for 10 seconds >fuckingwotm8 I know you're on this website you little incel, I got yelled at by the gyms owner because he thought I made you do that. F--- you. 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 12/19/19(Thu)13:23:14 No.816571547 please be patient I have autism >be me >amateur MMA fighter >mostly just a hobby, do it to stay in shape etc. >also help train kids at the gym I fight for >teaching 12-13 year old kid how to 77 KB JPG stand and hit pads, simple s--- >kid has high-functioning autism >out of nowhere he looks at me and says "How high does the grass grow in Germany" >Think it's just a weird autist question >"I don't know, probably the same as here" >"About this high" he then proceeds to give a full Nazi salute for 10 seconds >fuckingwotm8 I know you're on this website you little incel, I got yelled at by the gyms owner because he thought I made you do that. F--- you. 2 Replies View Thread

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anon has a insect harem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)07:52:35 No.853004155 >c-- on floor >ants are flocking to my c-- h-------- 10 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)07:54:30 No.853004226 >>853004155 (OP) # Well, spunk is marginally nutritious >>853004284 # : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)07:55:51 No.853004284 >>853004226 # still, the thought of ants drinking my precious semen made me erect again >>853004351 # : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)07:57:31 No.853004351 >>853004284 # kek
: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)07:52:35 No.853004155 >c-- on floor >ants are flocking to my c-- h-------- 10 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)07:54:30 No.853004226 >>853004155 (OP) # Well, spunk is marginally nutritious >>853004284 # : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)07:55:51 No.853004284 >>853004226 # still, the thought of ants drinking my precious semen made me erect again >>853004351 # : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)07:57:31 No.853004351 >>853004284 # kek

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Rolling bones | /r/Greentext

File: 109280190212.jpg (110 KB, 512x512) U Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)21:17:54 No.852968957 [Reply] >see post >reply to this post in 30 seconds or your mom will die in her sleep tonight >ignore it >mom is just fine the next day because supernatural internet mom killers dont exist >mfw i tell her good morning
File: 109280190212.jpg (110 KB, 512x512) U Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)21:17:54 No.852968957 [Reply] >see post >reply to this post in 30 seconds or your mom will die in her sleep tonight >ignore it >mom is just fine the next day because supernatural internet mom killers dont exist >mfw i tell her good morning

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