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Anon is a psychopath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)09:14:31 No.852933290 >Getting my first job a few years back >Have to go through a physical and a drug test >Get told to piss in a cup 16 KB PNG >Fill the cup This chick looked at me like I was a psychopath. This still keeps me up at night.
: Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)09:14:31 No.852933290 >Getting my first job a few years back >Have to go through a physical and a drug test >Get told to piss in a cup 16 KB PNG >Fill the cup This chick looked at me like I was a psychopath. This still keeps me up at night.

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Anon imagines life on Sodor | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)05:39:08 No.122578592 >There is literally NOTHING stopping the fat controller from sneaking into the engines shed at night and pissing in their faces Being an engine must be hell, bros.
O Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)05:39:08 No.122578592 >There is literally NOTHING stopping the fat controller from sneaking into the engines shed at night and pissing in their faces Being an engine must be hell, bros.

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Very Hot Take | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)13:53:03 No.15997346 >RIGHT >TOPPINGS, ON >CHEESE, NICE AND HOT >LOOK AT THAT MELT, BEAUTIFUL >OH MY GOD 121 KB JPG >NOW THATS, A DAMN GOOD 'ZAH!
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)13:53:03 No.15997346 >RIGHT >TOPPINGS, ON >CHEESE, NICE AND HOT >LOOK AT THAT MELT, BEAUTIFUL >OH MY GOD 121 KB JPG >NOW THATS, A DAMN GOOD 'ZAH!

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Anon is an artist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)09:41:42 No.849808312 >be me >graduated from prestigious art school >covid so no studio employing me 36 KB JPG >friend suggest I do erotica commission >start off innocent but quickly derails >end up drawing weird degenerate fetish s--- for fat neckbeards >one dude wanted me to draw greta thunbergs feet >send draft >"this is good but can you add sweat on the toes" >reluctantly do it and send it back >"wow so much better but can you add steam coming out of them" >?????? add smoke effects >"perfect just add some stink marks" I don't know how I got here and I don't know how to get out. I need the money but this s--- is sickening : Anonymous 03/17/21 (Wed)09:45:37 No.849808438 >>849808312 (OP) # just turn off your brain and rake in the cash, s---- easy as f--- when you realise you can
: Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)09:41:42 No.849808312 >be me >graduated from prestigious art school >covid so no studio employing me 36 KB JPG >friend suggest I do erotica commission >start off innocent but quickly derails >end up drawing weird degenerate fetish s--- for fat neckbeards >one dude wanted me to draw greta thunbergs feet >send draft >"this is good but can you add sweat on the toes" >reluctantly do it and send it back >"wow so much better but can you add steam coming out of them" >?????? add smoke effects >"perfect just add some stink marks" I don't know how I got here and I don't know how to get out. I need the money but this s--- is sickening : Anonymous 03/17/21 (Wed)09:45:37 No.849808438 >>849808312 (OP) # just turn off your brain and rake in the cash, s---- easy as f--- when you realise you can

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Anon has sinned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)05:13:32 No.63357780 Forgive me father for i have sinned >Be me, femanon 18 >4Chan degenerate but still manage to keep friends and social life afloat >Humor pretty much broken at this point, only random garbage and 6 KB JPG 4chan ylyl are funny now Enter young cousin, let's call him A >A finally gets a computer at 12 years old >Parents make me add him on discord Whatever.png >This can't be that bad right? >He adds me to his cringey discord server with his adolescent friends >Mfw they literally post facebook minion memes and advice animal memes >Not even the stacie's i hang out with are this bad >Decide i should darken/spice up his humor if he's to survive here >Add him to a server that posts some pretty good shitposts >Some of the memes are pretty racist but i don't think much of it Covid happens, don't talk to him much ffw to beginning of April >My cousin turned into a complete incel Whathaveidone.png >Turned into a complete trumpie at age 12 >Try playing games with him for once, complete degeneracy >Sexist comments towards me, racist s---, the works >Remember my mom told him that his mom voted for Biden >Ask him about that, A goes on a rant about how his mom is a w---- and doesn't deserve to live Thisisbad.png >Mfw my cousin and his friends will probably get worse from now on >Mfw i realized i turned a normal kid into a discord loser >Mfw i realized if he finds /pol/ this degeneracy is going to increase even more I don't know if I should try to fix this or just call it a lost cause and see what happens
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)05:13:32 No.63357780 Forgive me father for i have sinned >Be me, femanon 18 >4Chan degenerate but still manage to keep friends and social life afloat >Humor pretty much broken at this point, only random garbage and 6 KB JPG 4chan ylyl are funny now Enter young cousin, let's call him A >A finally gets a computer at 12 years old >Parents make me add him on discord Whatever.png >This can't be that bad right? >He adds me to his cringey discord server with his adolescent friends >Mfw they literally post facebook minion memes and advice animal memes >Not even the stacie's i hang out with are this bad >Decide i should darken/spice up his humor if he's to survive here >Add him to a server that posts some pretty good shitposts >Some of the memes are pretty racist but i don't think much of it Covid happens, don't talk to him much ffw to beginning of April >My cousin turned into a complete incel Whathaveidone.png >Turned into a complete trumpie at age 12 >Try playing games with him for once, complete degeneracy >Sexist comments towards me, racist s---, the works >Remember my mom told him that his mom voted for Biden >Ask him about that, A goes on a rant about how his mom is a w---- and doesn't deserve to live Thisisbad.png >Mfw my cousin and his friends will probably get worse from now on >Mfw i realized i turned a normal kid into a discord loser >Mfw i realized if he finds /pol/ this degeneracy is going to increase even more I don't know if I should try to fix this or just call it a lost cause and see what happens

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Anon let's an 8yrs old drive him home | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 795045491 11 min. ago >Be me >Heading home from supermarket >Gonna take a cab because l'm poor >The guy that stops the taxis offers a dude with his own van to take me and my groceries home >"It's a little bit cheaper" >"Ok", because l'm a poor f-- >Get in the van 263.1 kB PNG >No interior panels are installed >There's a kid on the front passanger, and his father is on the driver seat >Loud ass plena music starts playing >The kid hops in his father lap >Father says "Ok, this is Julián and he's 8. He'll be driving today" (The kids name was changed, just in case) >OhFuck.jpeg >15 minute drive >Bites sidewalk a couple of times >Father has to move the steering wheel a couple of times to avoid death >Over all, get home safely mfw a 8 year old kid drove me home mfw it was actually more expensive than a taxi Does this happen in your country? REPLY
Anonymous | 795045491 11 min. ago >Be me >Heading home from supermarket >Gonna take a cab because l'm poor >The guy that stops the taxis offers a dude with his own van to take me and my groceries home >"It's a little bit cheaper" >"Ok", because l'm a poor f-- >Get in the van 263.1 kB PNG >No interior panels are installed >There's a kid on the front passanger, and his father is on the driver seat >Loud ass plena music starts playing >The kid hops in his father lap >Father says "Ok, this is Julián and he's 8. He'll be driving today" (The kids name was changed, just in case) >OhFuck.jpeg >15 minute drive >Bites sidewalk a couple of times >Father has to move the steering wheel a couple of times to avoid death >Over all, get home safely mfw a 8 year old kid drove me home mfw it was actually more expensive than a taxi Does this happen in your country? REPLY

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The old mind fuck | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 10/12/10(Tue)12:31 No.75545XXX . File1286901093.jpg-(48 KB, 678x444, 1233814009623.jpg) >Pretend I'm a girl just to get items >Meet a great girl in the process that convinces me to join her guild >Become best friends >She turns out to be a lesbian >Keep pretending even if it feels wrong >7months of online dating and cybering >She tells me we have to talk >Think she wants to meet IRL and get ready to tell her the horrible truth >She tells me she's really a guy pretending he's a lesbian >My f------ face when we' ve been two guys cybering lesbian sex for 7 months
O Anonymous 10/12/10(Tue)12:31 No.75545XXX . File1286901093.jpg-(48 KB, 678x444, 1233814009623.jpg) >Pretend I'm a girl just to get items >Meet a great girl in the process that convinces me to join her guild >Become best friends >She turns out to be a lesbian >Keep pretending even if it feels wrong >7months of online dating and cybering >She tells me we have to talk >Think she wants to meet IRL and get ready to tell her the horrible truth >She tells me she's really a guy pretending he's a lesbian >My f------ face when we' ve been two guys cybering lesbian sex for 7 months

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Anon finds a loop hole | /r/Greentext


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anon remebers | /r/Greentext

File: 1DABBE95-5154-4F9C-9018-9(.).jpg (205 KB, 2048x954) O Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)23:25:09 No.852874775 > >>852874950 >be me >wake up late on a Saturday >feeling good >great weather out >decide to take my dog for a walk >temperature is perfect, warm but with a breeze >find a $5 Bill on the sidewalk while I'm walking >put it in my pocket and keep walking >pull out my phone and my headphones to listen to music >phone is 100% charged >put headphones in and pull up my playlist >press shuffle >favorite song is the first song playing >take my dog to dog park >let him run off-leash and sit down on the bench >qt 3.14 sits down next to me >short black hair that curls outwards at the ends >start up conversation and we hit it off >talk about our jobs and turns out she's a police detective >cops are a huge turn on for me >we talk for almost an hour until she has to go >gives me her number and leaves >stay at the park for about 30 minutes until dog walks up to me and lets me know he's ready to go >walk home with the breeze blowing >get inside and the inside of the house is perfectly warm >walk to the kitchen >pull out some pans and s--- and start cooking >decide to cook a steak >listen it some music and cook it >sit down and eat it when it's done >best steak l've eaten in my life >give some of the leftover pieces to my dog (not too much, I care about his health) >dark out now, so head to bed >turn the air on and get the house nice and cool >lay down in the bed and turn on the TV >favorite show immediately comes on >dog comes into my room and curls onto my lap >best day of my life >suddenly remember French people exist mfw my entire day is ruined
File: 1DABBE95-5154-4F9C-9018-9(.).jpg (205 KB, 2048x954) O Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)23:25:09 No.852874775 > >>852874950 >be me >wake up late on a Saturday >feeling good >great weather out >decide to take my dog for a walk >temperature is perfect, warm but with a breeze >find a $5 Bill on the sidewalk while I'm walking >put it in my pocket and keep walking >pull out my phone and my headphones to listen to music >phone is 100% charged >put headphones in and pull up my playlist >press shuffle >favorite song is the first song playing >take my dog to dog park >let him run off-leash and sit down on the bench >qt 3.14 sits down next to me >short black hair that curls outwards at the ends >start up conversation and we hit it off >talk about our jobs and turns out she's a police detective >cops are a huge turn on for me >we talk for almost an hour until she has to go >gives me her number and leaves >stay at the park for about 30 minutes until dog walks up to me and lets me know he's ready to go >walk home with the breeze blowing >get inside and the inside of the house is perfectly warm >walk to the kitchen >pull out some pans and s--- and start cooking >decide to cook a steak >listen it some music and cook it >sit down and eat it when it's done >best steak l've eaten in my life >give some of the leftover pieces to my dog (not too much, I care about his health) >dark out now, so head to bed >turn the air on and get the house nice and cool >lay down in the bed and turn on the TV >favorite show immediately comes on >dog comes into my room and curls onto my lap >best day of my life >suddenly remember French people exist mfw my entire day is ruined

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/fit/izen and the miring manlet | /r/Greentext

File: mfw.jpg (61 KB, 640x480) O Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)11:01:28 No.61138841 >there's this absolute manlet at work, about 5'6 and skinny >mostly seems to live on white monsters and tea >he's not the type to TELL people he's gay, you can just tell at a glance >f------ thing fawns over me >his face lights up whenever he sees me coming to work >we end up talking about lifting a lot, though he won't come with me, says he's "not the gym type" >he actually asked me about how much I lit, I try to not bring up gym stuff in normal conversations because normies don't care, but he actually asked me >mention a few numbers and he goes straight-up cartoony heart eyes >says he's a bit under 130 Ibs himself, altogether "That's more than TWICE of me." >never been so turned on in my life I'm not f------ gay but this doting manlet makes me want to shove my c--- down his throat. What the f--- do I do. Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)11:04:44 No.61138870 D--- him down op Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)11:05:06 No.61138879 Just accept the gay, OP
File: mfw.jpg (61 KB, 640x480) O Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)11:01:28 No.61138841 >there's this absolute manlet at work, about 5'6 and skinny >mostly seems to live on white monsters and tea >he's not the type to TELL people he's gay, you can just tell at a glance >f------ thing fawns over me >his face lights up whenever he sees me coming to work >we end up talking about lifting a lot, though he won't come with me, says he's "not the gym type" >he actually asked me about how much I lit, I try to not bring up gym stuff in normal conversations because normies don't care, but he actually asked me >mention a few numbers and he goes straight-up cartoony heart eyes >says he's a bit under 130 Ibs himself, altogether "That's more than TWICE of me." >never been so turned on in my life I'm not f------ gay but this doting manlet makes me want to shove my c--- down his throat. What the f--- do I do. Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)11:04:44 No.61138870 D--- him down op Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)11:05:06 No.61138879 Just accept the gay, OP

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Anon shoots his shot | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 24021113 11 min. ago NAH BRO Am I obsessed? Femanon here >be me >have a crush on a Norwegian boy living in his home country not knowing I exist I'M JUST A LITTLE TIRED >"stalk" his social media >realize he was last online 9 years ago >tfw realize he's already moved on over everything >tfw idk where he is right now and what's happening to him >tfw long gone and we will never even be friends 93.0 kB JPG >think about this guy 24/7 >constant regret and anxiety >"where is he right now? Is he okay? Will he ever come back? Will I ever find him someday?" Bros... ; 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 24021130 9 min. ago •.. >>24021113 (OP) I'm 28 year old virgin, but otherwise completely normal. Maybe you can have a crush on me. I need a gf. 1 REPLY
Anonymous | 24021113 11 min. ago NAH BRO Am I obsessed? Femanon here >be me >have a crush on a Norwegian boy living in his home country not knowing I exist I'M JUST A LITTLE TIRED >"stalk" his social media >realize he was last online 9 years ago >tfw realize he's already moved on over everything >tfw idk where he is right now and what's happening to him >tfw long gone and we will never even be friends 93.0 kB JPG >think about this guy 24/7 >constant regret and anxiety >"where is he right now? Is he okay? Will he ever come back? Will I ever find him someday?" Bros... ; 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 24021130 9 min. ago •.. >>24021113 (OP) I'm 28 year old virgin, but otherwise completely normal. Maybe you can have a crush on me. I need a gf. 1 REPLY

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Anon doesn’t like redditors. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)23:27:06 No.851720602 >go on reddit >sort by popular >someone posted a news article that won't matter in a couple months >didn't add anything, didn't create anything, just timed submitting a 319 KB PNG news article >38 unique reddit user awards >count of reddit awards displayed prominently on post as they come in >realize someone saw 37 total awards had been given to the post >someone still spent $4.99 to give a 38th award >mfw
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)23:27:06 No.851720602 >go on reddit >sort by popular >someone posted a news article that won't matter in a couple months >didn't add anything, didn't create anything, just timed submitting a 319 KB PNG news article >38 unique reddit user awards >count of reddit awards displayed prominently on post as they come in >realize someone saw 37 total awards had been given to the post >someone still spent $4.99 to give a 38th award >mfw

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Anon misses the hole | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/01/13(Sun)20:40:37 No.519059320 File: 1385948437099.jpg-(146 KB, 1080x1028, 1364342206417.jpg) >be me >virgin 15 years old >go get some with this older slut 17- 18 >just me and her in a room at a party >everything is going just as expected >she asks me if i want to f--- her yes.gif >puts condom on my d--- >gets on her hands and knees imgonnadoitdoggy.png >i begin to f--- her >going in and out, it feels amazing >do this for a long time >cant hold much longer >"so will you put it in or not?" >MFW i was just f------ her thighs >MFW i get nervous and lose my hardon >MFW this was the worst experience of my life Replies: >>519059849>>519060250>>519060817
Anonymous 12/01/13(Sun)20:40:37 No.519059320 File: 1385948437099.jpg-(146 KB, 1080x1028, 1364342206417.jpg) >be me >virgin 15 years old >go get some with this older slut 17- 18 >just me and her in a room at a party >everything is going just as expected >she asks me if i want to f--- her yes.gif >puts condom on my d--- >gets on her hands and knees imgonnadoitdoggy.png >i begin to f--- her >going in and out, it feels amazing >do this for a long time >cant hold much longer >"so will you put it in or not?" >MFW i was just f------ her thighs >MFW i get nervous and lose my hardon >MFW this was the worst experience of my life Replies: >>519059849>>519060250>>519060817

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Anon questions God | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)10:05:11 No.63327690 > Women gets fat: they get massive asses and t--- > Men get fat: they only get a beer gut God why 28 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)10:05:11 No.63327690 > Women gets fat: they get massive asses and t--- > Men get fat: they only get a beer gut God why 28 KB JPG

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Looper | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)07:53:36 No.28302667 >be my uncle michael >sensible no-nonsense guy, not easily rattled, religious conservative guy >goes to thailand for holiday >returns after a bit under the weather >decides to book doctor appointment >calls up receptionist to confirm/double check time >"hi michael, confirming your appointment is on x date at x time with doctor x see you soon" >uncle sitting in waiting room early for his appointment >one of the receptionists gets a phone call >"hi michael, confirming your appointment is on x date at x time with doctor x see you soon" >uncle thinks - wait a minute, i just had that f------ conversation >approaches receptionist" >who was that on the phone? >receptionist says she is not at liberty to discuss client identity >uncle tells receptionist his name is michael and his appointment was on at the exact same time with the same doctor >receptionist is confused >agrees to call back number that just called to double check any confusion or double booking >uncle's phone starts ringing what the f--- happened? none of us can make any sense of it
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)07:53:36 No.28302667 >be my uncle michael >sensible no-nonsense guy, not easily rattled, religious conservative guy >goes to thailand for holiday >returns after a bit under the weather >decides to book doctor appointment >calls up receptionist to confirm/double check time >"hi michael, confirming your appointment is on x date at x time with doctor x see you soon" >uncle sitting in waiting room early for his appointment >one of the receptionists gets a phone call >"hi michael, confirming your appointment is on x date at x time with doctor x see you soon" >uncle thinks - wait a minute, i just had that f------ conversation >approaches receptionist" >who was that on the phone? >receptionist says she is not at liberty to discuss client identity >uncle tells receptionist his name is michael and his appointment was on at the exact same time with the same doctor >receptionist is confused >agrees to call back number that just called to double check any confusion or double booking >uncle's phone starts ringing what the f--- happened? none of us can make any sense of it

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Anon is unattractive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)13:14:26 No.63376429 >attracted to beautiful females >not attractive Why bros? 15 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)13:17:18 No.63376449 you are on 4chan retard
: Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)13:14:26 No.63376429 >attracted to beautiful females >not attractive Why bros? 15 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)13:17:18 No.63376449 you are on 4chan retard

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Anon loses their good boy points | /r/Greentext


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Anon feels betrayed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)20:13:42 No.850099251 Immeasurable Disappointment >boring forgettable day so far >get a text from a coworker >kinda greasy sketchy neckbearded dude but not annoying, have made small talk with him before at work 15 KB JPG >"Hey anon wanna come over and smoke" >hell yeah weed time >pull up to the address he gave me >dilapidated trailer by a pond, smells like dog s--- >oh well at least i get to smoke >hesitantly enter trailer >"Hey anon! (small talk)" >honestly just waiting to smoke, decide to bring it up >"You down to smoke?" >"You know it" >mfw he pulls out a pack of cigarettes
: Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)20:13:42 No.850099251 Immeasurable Disappointment >boring forgettable day so far >get a text from a coworker >kinda greasy sketchy neckbearded dude but not annoying, have made small talk with him before at work 15 KB JPG >"Hey anon wanna come over and smoke" >hell yeah weed time >pull up to the address he gave me >dilapidated trailer by a pond, smells like dog s--- >oh well at least i get to smoke >hesitantly enter trailer >"Hey anon! (small talk)" >honestly just waiting to smoke, decide to bring it up >"You down to smoke?" >"You know it" >mfw he pulls out a pack of cigarettes

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Anon is from India | /r/Greentext


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Living in Germany | /r/Greentext

File: divine. jpg (81 KB, 960x639) O Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)20:31:18 No.852855867 >moving to Germany because of dad's job >my dad doesn't speak German, the germans do speak english but they're not fond of him >me and my sister are just immigrant kids among the other ones at school, nobody gives a s--- if you're the son of an engineer from Finland working on a big architecture project, you don't speak german >mom tells me to shut the f--- up and stop complaining about not having friends, I'm not better than anybody else >l don't want to be better than anybody else, I'm just tired of not having friends >one night find dad sitting on the curb with a bottle of vodka, a bunch of turkish men and an english-turkish dictionary >they don't really speak german, but they think it's funny that dad goes back and forth with the dictionary, trying to find words to speak with them >he's learning full sentences, one thing he can say is "this is my son" >his new friends smile and pat me on the back, introduce me to their children >their kids speak english and german, we translate for our dads >end up hanging out with the turkish kids at school >they are less alone, because they have each other >but we bond over our dads not speaking german
File: divine. jpg (81 KB, 960x639) O Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)20:31:18 No.852855867 >moving to Germany because of dad's job >my dad doesn't speak German, the germans do speak english but they're not fond of him >me and my sister are just immigrant kids among the other ones at school, nobody gives a s--- if you're the son of an engineer from Finland working on a big architecture project, you don't speak german >mom tells me to shut the f--- up and stop complaining about not having friends, I'm not better than anybody else >l don't want to be better than anybody else, I'm just tired of not having friends >one night find dad sitting on the curb with a bottle of vodka, a bunch of turkish men and an english-turkish dictionary >they don't really speak german, but they think it's funny that dad goes back and forth with the dictionary, trying to find words to speak with them >he's learning full sentences, one thing he can say is "this is my son" >his new friends smile and pat me on the back, introduce me to their children >their kids speak english and german, we translate for our dads >end up hanging out with the turkish kids at school >they are less alone, because they have each other >but we bond over our dads not speaking german

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