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anon goes boom | /r/Greentext

File: Exploding Debacle.png (1.1 MB, 640x773) The Game Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)14:34:01 No.63291423 [Reply] >>63291534 You are given 24 hours to sleep with at-least 1 woman and are given 5 shots. C4 is attached to you with remote detonation in order to force your compliance. You are not allowed to hire a prostitute, h-----, or escort who you can pay your way through, The perpetrator wants you to talk to and successfully woo a women into bed. How do you go about not pissing off the perpetrator and getting blown to bits? >> U Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)14:41:28 No.63291534 File: explosion.jpg (69 KB, 1280x720) >>63291423 (OP). >go out >get smoke some cigs >play a bit of vidya >do morphine a few hours before the deadline >go to the most crowded place I can find Activate Windows
File: Exploding Debacle.png (1.1 MB, 640x773) The Game Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)14:34:01 No.63291423 [Reply] >>63291534 You are given 24 hours to sleep with at-least 1 woman and are given 5 shots. C4 is attached to you with remote detonation in order to force your compliance. You are not allowed to hire a prostitute, h-----, or escort who you can pay your way through, The perpetrator wants you to talk to and successfully woo a women into bed. How do you go about not pissing off the perpetrator and getting blown to bits? >> U Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)14:41:28 No.63291534 File: explosion.jpg (69 KB, 1280x720) >>63291423 (OP). >go out >get smoke some cigs >play a bit of vidya >do morphine a few hours before the deadline >go to the most crowded place I can find Activate Windows

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Anons teacher is a sore loser | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)06:24:41 No.851663505 > be in middle school English period > was told to write a word starting with the letter "g" and many syllables as possible > cannot repeat words > my turn >mind started to race as I feel judgmental stares 430 KB PNG > wrote "Gobbledygook" > classmates laughed > teacher said, "Don't make up words, anon" > everyone mocked my vocabulary for the rest of the day > went home and found dictionary > next day showed it to the teacher that it exists > rather than explaining it to the class, teacher replied, "Stop being a sore loser." >mfw Also, I scored a 98% in the final English exam yet my English grade on my report card was a C.
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)06:24:41 No.851663505 > be in middle school English period > was told to write a word starting with the letter "g" and many syllables as possible > cannot repeat words > my turn >mind started to race as I feel judgmental stares 430 KB PNG > wrote "Gobbledygook" > classmates laughed > teacher said, "Don't make up words, anon" > everyone mocked my vocabulary for the rest of the day > went home and found dictionary > next day showed it to the teacher that it exists > rather than explaining it to the class, teacher replied, "Stop being a sore loser." >mfw Also, I scored a 98% in the final English exam yet my English grade on my report card was a C.

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Anon makes a rookie mistake | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Anon heals his back by breaking it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)04:03:35 No.63298691 >be me >always suffered from back pain due to lack of overall activity >back always feels kinda tight and stiff, and just not right >grab book to go read >jump on a couch at a weird angle, slam my lower back directly onto the rock solid arm CAPRISUN 435 KB PNG cushion and get jolted back by accident >hear a LOUD crack >thinking oh f--- no i just f----- my back for life >try to move >holy f--- >my pain is gone >my stiffness is gone >7 hours later >my back still feels great >just my upper back and neck feels a bit stiff too >chairopractors and physical therapists never could help my back for periods that last longer than an hour >literally almost breaking my back and almost paralyzing myself fixed it >hope it stays for long
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)04:03:35 No.63298691 >be me >always suffered from back pain due to lack of overall activity >back always feels kinda tight and stiff, and just not right >grab book to go read >jump on a couch at a weird angle, slam my lower back directly onto the rock solid arm CAPRISUN 435 KB PNG cushion and get jolted back by accident >hear a LOUD crack >thinking oh f--- no i just f----- my back for life >try to move >holy f--- >my pain is gone >my stiffness is gone >7 hours later >my back still feels great >just my upper back and neck feels a bit stiff too >chairopractors and physical therapists never could help my back for periods that last longer than an hour >literally almost breaking my back and almost paralyzing myself fixed it >hope it stays for long

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Anon strikes genetic jackpot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)17:19:23 No.852481505 >be me >White male, born in a happy household >Moderately good looking and 6'1 >Not a bodybuilder, but in good shape 27 KB PNG >Have a 4 inch c--- why
: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)17:19:23 No.852481505 >be me >White male, born in a happy household >Moderately good looking and 6'1 >Not a bodybuilder, but in good shape 27 KB PNG >Have a 4 inch c--- why

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anon witnesses a murder | /r/Greentext

File: please_do_not_do_that.jpg (8 KB, 202x200) O Anonymous 12/26/15(Sat)17:50:59 No.25266644 Times you witnessed a killing /r9k/? l'l start >moving into a new house >might as well go to meet the neighbours >hope they're not complete assholes >go to the house next door Please do not do that >it's a friendly old man >he sounds German and a little bit Irish >he motions me to come in >l do that, and don't worry much >we get to talking >his name is Hans O'Renn >he's been through a lot of s--- >but he faces every day with a smile >he mentions that he has one son >hasn't seen him in years >last thing he heard, he's involved with gangs >we talk some more and then I leave to talk to the others >the next day >l see a lot of shady looking people pass in front of my house >looks like they're going to see Hans >pretty suspicious >they give him a knock at the door >he lets them in >I listen through the wall our two houses share >"look, son, I haven't done anything to displease you have 1?" >"nah, but ya have to go" >l immediately go out and look through his front window >gang members stepping up to beat him to death >ohshit.jpg >"don't worry boys, 'l handle this" >"but Kyle." says one of them >so that's his name >"seriously, I'll do it" >Kyle takes a baseball bat >the rest is muffled screams and beatings and the sound of death >it's incredibly disturbing >I have to step back because it's so horrifying to watch >tfw Kyle O'Renn kills his father, Hans, solo
File: please_do_not_do_that.jpg (8 KB, 202x200) O Anonymous 12/26/15(Sat)17:50:59 No.25266644 Times you witnessed a killing /r9k/? l'l start >moving into a new house >might as well go to meet the neighbours >hope they're not complete assholes >go to the house next door Please do not do that >it's a friendly old man >he sounds German and a little bit Irish >he motions me to come in >l do that, and don't worry much >we get to talking >his name is Hans O'Renn >he's been through a lot of s--- >but he faces every day with a smile >he mentions that he has one son >hasn't seen him in years >last thing he heard, he's involved with gangs >we talk some more and then I leave to talk to the others >the next day >l see a lot of shady looking people pass in front of my house >looks like they're going to see Hans >pretty suspicious >they give him a knock at the door >he lets them in >I listen through the wall our two houses share >"look, son, I haven't done anything to displease you have 1?" >"nah, but ya have to go" >l immediately go out and look through his front window >gang members stepping up to beat him to death >ohshit.jpg >"don't worry boys, 'l handle this" >"but Kyle." says one of them >so that's his name >"seriously, I'll do it" >Kyle takes a baseball bat >the rest is muffled screams and beatings and the sound of death >it's incredibly disturbing >I have to step back because it's so horrifying to watch >tfw Kyle O'Renn kills his father, Hans, solo

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Anon likes Eminems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)16:21:14 No.851700193 Eminem eating M&Ms with other Eminems, 1999.jpg 45 KB JPG >>851699670 # Eminem eating M&Ms with other Eminems, 1999.
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)16:21:14 No.851700193 Eminem eating M&Ms with other Eminems, 1999.jpg 45 KB JPG >>851699670 # Eminem eating M&Ms with other Eminems, 1999.

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Anon is Walter White | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous Life Hacks 07/23/19(Tue)11:10:55 No.53534008 >be me >Go to twitch >make a new account with real name >Search for low viewer female streamers. 147 KB PNG >Click follow. >9 of 10 times she will say my name and some qt s--- >save the clip Everytime i need some human interaction i just open a video of a qt3.14 saying my name
| Anonymous Life Hacks 07/23/19(Tue)11:10:55 No.53534008 >be me >Go to twitch >make a new account with real name >Search for low viewer female streamers. 147 KB PNG >Click follow. >9 of 10 times she will say my name and some qt s--- >save the clip Everytime i need some human interaction i just open a video of a qt3.14 saying my name

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Anon doesn't get equal treatment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)15:46:51 No.63300959 >be me >the palest white cracker there is >see all the trans folk getting massive support from people >"youre so brave for embracing your true identity" >this one dude says that he always 52 KB JPG felt more like a gal >started to dress up as a woman and got even a surgery for t--- to be like his true self >thought.png >have always related to black people more >start to identify as a black man >buy some brown face paint >start using black slang >call people my n----- >mfw get called a racist bigot All inclusive society my ass
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)15:46:51 No.63300959 >be me >the palest white cracker there is >see all the trans folk getting massive support from people >"youre so brave for embracing your true identity" >this one dude says that he always 52 KB JPG felt more like a gal >started to dress up as a woman and got even a surgery for t--- to be like his true self >thought.png >have always related to black people more >start to identify as a black man >buy some brown face paint >start using black slang >call people my n----- >mfw get called a racist bigot All inclusive society my ass

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anon posts the frog | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)18:54:51 No.613E >l post the frog >they see the frog and get mad >they say mean things to me >l get sad >i want to feel happy again >frog makes me happy >l post the frog 61 KB JPG
Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)18:54:51 No.613E >l post the frog >they see the frog and get mad >they say mean things to me >l get sad >i want to feel happy again >frog makes me happy >l post the frog 61 KB JPG

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Anon goes to therapist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)20:31:29 No.63288256 >mom is talking about moving to another state >get really excited about this being the change I need >start making plans for how things are going to be different >start looking at apartments there 8 KB JPG in case I can leave my moms finally >tell my therapist >"You're manic anon, you're going to just end up the same way you are now, unemployed and gaming 12 hours a day. You're 30 and never changed a single positive thing about your life. Why is it different now?" I kind of just glazed over for the rest of the appointment.
: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)20:31:29 No.63288256 >mom is talking about moving to another state >get really excited about this being the change I need >start making plans for how things are going to be different >start looking at apartments there 8 KB JPG in case I can leave my moms finally >tell my therapist >"You're manic anon, you're going to just end up the same way you are now, unemployed and gaming 12 hours a day. You're 30 and never changed a single positive thing about your life. Why is it different now?" I kind of just glazed over for the rest of the appointment.

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Anon is bored | /r/Greentext

Most evil thing you've ever done thread No.54644228 09/30/19(Mon)07:16:32 evil.jpg JPG 31.6 KİB 404x512 >Bored as f--- >Call random number >Woman answers >"Hi it's the school calling about your child" >"About Jack? what's wrong?" >"Nothing. We just wanted to let you know the music teacher apparently says you've got a little Elvis on your hands" >"Really?" >"Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet" >Hang up ...
Most evil thing you've ever done thread No.54644228 09/30/19(Mon)07:16:32 evil.jpg JPG 31.6 KİB 404x512 >Bored as f--- >Call random number >Woman answers >"Hi it's the school calling about your child" >"About Jack? what's wrong?" >"Nothing. We just wanted to let you know the music teacher apparently says you've got a little Elvis on your hands" >"Really?" >"Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet" >Hang up ...

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Anon tells the truth | /r/Greentext

>"Oh so you disagree with me? You are a transphobe/racist/Nazi/white supremacist" >*searches through your entire post history, because he cant form a single argument* >"Oh, Yikes!! You postes something not woke 2 years ago. Sorry, your 7 KB PNG opinion is invalid" >You cant even answer, because "PLEASE WAIT 10 MIN, WE DONT WANT YOU TO LEAD A DISCUSSION" >Try to answer that f-----, but "POST LOCKED, BECAUSE WE MODS ARE LAZY"
>"Oh so you disagree with me? You are a transphobe/racist/Nazi/white supremacist" >*searches through your entire post history, because he cant form a single argument* >"Oh, Yikes!! You postes something not woke 2 years ago. Sorry, your 7 KB PNG opinion is invalid" >You cant even answer, because "PLEASE WAIT 10 MIN, WE DONT WANT YOU TO LEAD A DISCUSSION" >Try to answer that f-----, but "POST LOCKED, BECAUSE WE MODS ARE LAZY"

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Anon is not a beta | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)01:09:33 No.63297223 >10 grade >stacy sitting 1 desk in front of me to the left >she accidentally drops her pencil and it lands near me so I pick it and give it her >no big deal For some reason she decided to try to make me look like a Simp this time >turns to her friend and tells them ( and I heard her) >"look teehee I can make him pick it up again >l'm watching her the whole time >she drops her pencil again >"can you pick up my pencil teehee >l say no it's next to your foot >her friends laugh at her And I think this was the moment I was exposed to how women can truly be. I felt good but at what cost?
Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)01:09:33 No.63297223 >10 grade >stacy sitting 1 desk in front of me to the left >she accidentally drops her pencil and it lands near me so I pick it and give it her >no big deal For some reason she decided to try to make me look like a Simp this time >turns to her friend and tells them ( and I heard her) >"look teehee I can make him pick it up again >l'm watching her the whole time >she drops her pencil again >"can you pick up my pencil teehee >l say no it's next to your foot >her friends laugh at her And I think this was the moment I was exposed to how women can truly be. I felt good but at what cost?

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Anon has a complaint | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)21:34:34 No.852493672 >/b/ random >it's just p--- >on a website with specified p--- boards gee real 'random' guys 24 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)21:34:34 No.852493672 >/b/ random >it's just p--- >on a website with specified p--- boards gee real 'random' guys 24 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon has liquid shits | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)09:54:45 No.848100344 >be me >frequently have liquid s---- >doc recommends I start taking Metamucil (fiber supplement) >read the instructions >it says take two scoops and mix it 225 KB JPG in water >my dumb ass assumed 1 scoop = 1 cup >grab my big gallon water bottle, put two cups of it in and mix it with water >chug >fast forward five days >haven't shat yet >can feel the baby sized turd growing in me >chug a bunch of coffee to trigger a bowel movement >sit on toilet for three hours as I push a f------ football out of my a------ >feel like I'm getting f----- in the prison showers >it seriously feels like my a------ is being ripped open >keep pushing >relief >s--- was the size of a $5 footlong sub >have to break it down with the plunger to flush it Now I'm considering doing it again cause the feeling it had on my a------ kinda turned me on. Thoughts?
:Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)09:54:45 No.848100344 >be me >frequently have liquid s---- >doc recommends I start taking Metamucil (fiber supplement) >read the instructions >it says take two scoops and mix it 225 KB JPG in water >my dumb ass assumed 1 scoop = 1 cup >grab my big gallon water bottle, put two cups of it in and mix it with water >chug >fast forward five days >haven't shat yet >can feel the baby sized turd growing in me >chug a bunch of coffee to trigger a bowel movement >sit on toilet for three hours as I push a f------ football out of my a------ >feel like I'm getting f----- in the prison showers >it seriously feels like my a------ is being ripped open >keep pushing >relief >s--- was the size of a $5 footlong sub >have to break it down with the plunger to flush it Now I'm considering doing it again cause the feeling it had on my a------ kinda turned me on. Thoughts?

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Anon gets rejected | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 1ta/DtoM 02/02/21 (Tue)00:43:18 No.12055241 >be me >7 >forced to do karate >slack off every time >dad yells at me >asks me if i want to join clown school >i said yes 62 KB JPG >gets even angrier >mfw i dont get to join clown school
: Anonymous (ID: 1ta/DtoM 02/02/21 (Tue)00:43:18 No.12055241 >be me >7 >forced to do karate >slack off every time >dad yells at me >asks me if i want to join clown school >i said yes 62 KB JPG >gets even angrier >mfw i dont get to join clown school

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anon is no virgin | /r/Greentext

>be me >fingering girlfriend >"How are you so good at this anon?" >"I play osu" needless to say, she was p-----
>be me >fingering girlfriend >"How are you so good at this anon?" >"I play osu" needless to say, she was p-----

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Anon is a Chad now. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous talked to a girl 04/19/21(Mon)19:28:21 No.63293035 >be me >20 yo virgin >made eye contact with girl >suck it 92 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)19:32:56 No.63293098 hey good job man
: Anonymous talked to a girl 04/19/21(Mon)19:28:21 No.63293035 >be me >20 yo virgin >made eye contact with girl >suck it 92 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)19:32:56 No.63293098 hey good job man

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Anon is in a relationship | /r/Greentext

2h (4/19 18:01) · 63285303 3 Re · 1 Img · JPG · 41KB · (278 × 317) 1 Reply >be me >play world of warcraft since tbc >used to have lots of fun playing wow >these days the fun is all gone >every once in a while i get a glimpse of how fun it used to be >other than that, the game just brings me pain and misery >still keep on playing >still hope that the game will one day be fun again is that how it feels to be in an abusive relationship?
2h (4/19 18:01) · 63285303 3 Re · 1 Img · JPG · 41KB · (278 × 317) 1 Reply >be me >play world of warcraft since tbc >used to have lots of fun playing wow >these days the fun is all gone >every once in a while i get a glimpse of how fun it used to be >other than that, the game just brings me pain and misery >still keep on playing >still hope that the game will one day be fun again is that how it feels to be in an abusive relationship?

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