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Anon goes to guitar center | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)12:55:47 No.63256768 > The year is 2021 > You walk into a guitar center > you see 5 employees spread out over the store - Only one acknowledges your existence > "Can I help you find any gear today?" > They say it knowing damn well the 132 KB JPG response that is coming, " Na im just looking" > The stores stock is at half supply, probably has been for the past year > Only gear on display is either incredibly cheap or exspensive > $50 starter guitars and $2000 gibsons and fenders. > You browse the entire store, looking over everything as if you were going to buy it > After a good 40 minutes you find your way to the string area > you get a single pack of Ernie Ball slinkys > You go up the counter, "Is this all?" "Yes" >"Can I interest you in our string club? Is 25$ a month." > You decline > " How about a 5$ warranty on your strings? You never know wh-" >"No" >They begin to sweat, " How about signing up for our news letter and texting club? All we need is your nu-" > "No" > The manager peaks around the corner > "How about you open a guitar center gear club card? You can pay off these strings over ti-" "No" > The manager drags the cashier into the back room, his screams filling the whole store like a choir from hell > MEW I didn't even get to buy my strings
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)12:55:47 No.63256768 > The year is 2021 > You walk into a guitar center > you see 5 employees spread out over the store - Only one acknowledges your existence > "Can I help you find any gear today?" > They say it knowing damn well the 132 KB JPG response that is coming, " Na im just looking" > The stores stock is at half supply, probably has been for the past year > Only gear on display is either incredibly cheap or exspensive > $50 starter guitars and $2000 gibsons and fenders. > You browse the entire store, looking over everything as if you were going to buy it > After a good 40 minutes you find your way to the string area > you get a single pack of Ernie Ball slinkys > You go up the counter, "Is this all?" "Yes" >"Can I interest you in our string club? Is 25$ a month." > You decline > " How about a 5$ warranty on your strings? You never know wh-" >"No" >They begin to sweat, " How about signing up for our news letter and texting club? All we need is your nu-" > "No" > The manager peaks around the corner > "How about you open a guitar center gear club card? You can pay off these strings over ti-" "No" > The manager drags the cashier into the back room, his screams filling the whole store like a choir from hell > MEW I didn't even get to buy my strings

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Anon is a lovable person | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)11:01:11 No.63255735 >been on plenty of dates but could never get a second date >pay for professional match maker | JUST WANT TO DIE >meet with the match maker >talk for a long time and go into my dating failures and my personality >anon, you simply aren't a loveable person. I'm sorry, but I can't help you. I'll refund NICHOLAS WOLFF 23 KB JPG your money >tfw I realize I'm going to die alone Just f------ kill me already
Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)11:01:11 No.63255735 >been on plenty of dates but could never get a second date >pay for professional match maker | JUST WANT TO DIE >meet with the match maker >talk for a long time and go into my dating failures and my personality >anon, you simply aren't a loveable person. I'm sorry, but I can't help you. I'll refund NICHOLAS WOLFF 23 KB JPG your money >tfw I realize I'm going to die alone Just f------ kill me already

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Anon couldn’t stomach a relationship | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)09:35:17 No.852281555 >wasn't taught to express emotions as all as a kid >whenever I was acting out an emotion, mom denied it and insisted it's just a bodily function >no mom, l am angry >"no you're not, you just need to poop" 13 KB JPG etc >be 27 now, still literally cannot tell apart when I am in an emotional or physical situation >p----- off as hell today, no idea why but my girlfriend keeps texting me so logically it's her I am mad at >start a fight >break up over texts >agree l'll get my stuff from her place tomorrow >grab a beer because why the f--- not >first sip, blood sugar settles >remember I hadn't eaten anything all day >turns out I was just hungry >ended a four-year-long relationship over this
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)09:35:17 No.852281555 >wasn't taught to express emotions as all as a kid >whenever I was acting out an emotion, mom denied it and insisted it's just a bodily function >no mom, l am angry >"no you're not, you just need to poop" 13 KB JPG etc >be 27 now, still literally cannot tell apart when I am in an emotional or physical situation >p----- off as hell today, no idea why but my girlfriend keeps texting me so logically it's her I am mad at >start a fight >break up over texts >agree l'll get my stuff from her place tomorrow >grab a beer because why the f--- not >first sip, blood sugar settles >remember I hadn't eaten anything all day >turns out I was just hungry >ended a four-year-long relationship over this

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Anon had a cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I became an cat incel 04/17/21(Sat)12:59:21 No.63252210 >I had a cat > I was very nice to the cat > Fed him properly, played with him and tend to his wounds > Realize that he fights too much with street cats, he gets too hurt ver usually > Get him snipped, paid for a really expensive clinic to do it > Do everything to make him comfortable at home because 99 KB JPG he cant leave for two weeks > The two weeks end, decide to let him out > Cat probably thought that me not letting him out for two weeks, me tending to his wounds and me not feeding him every single time he asked for it was abuse > Cat f------ flees to never come back again. Why do people like cats so much? > Pic related
: Anonymous I became an cat incel 04/17/21(Sat)12:59:21 No.63252210 >I had a cat > I was very nice to the cat > Fed him properly, played with him and tend to his wounds > Realize that he fights too much with street cats, he gets too hurt ver usually > Get him snipped, paid for a really expensive clinic to do it > Do everything to make him comfortable at home because 99 KB JPG he cant leave for two weeks > The two weeks end, decide to let him out > Cat probably thought that me not letting him out for two weeks, me tending to his wounds and me not feeding him every single time he asked for it was abuse > Cat f------ flees to never come back again. Why do people like cats so much? > Pic related

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She a copper | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 No.515425318 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG an undercover cop > now she tells me she's > how f------ cool is that for someone her age
Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 No.515425318 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG an undercover cop > now she tells me she's > how f------ cool is that for someone her age

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Anon struggles with homework | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)02:07:01 No.63252944 >drop out of college twice because I can't do homework or assignments >wasted nearly 7 years of my life after high school >still unemployed with no prior job experience >still unmotivated and without energy 24 KB JPG >try college once again >still can't do assignments or homework View Thread
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)02:07:01 No.63252944 >drop out of college twice because I can't do homework or assignments >wasted nearly 7 years of my life after high school >still unemployed with no prior job experience >still unmotivated and without energy 24 KB JPG >try college once again >still can't do assignments or homework View Thread

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Anon dated a female coomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)03:48:40 No.60727521 >>60724481(OP) # My ex was. BPD and nymphomania. A nice disaster cocktail. I can greentext some of the stuff she did "Enemy" "Sex" >would masturbate in public transport, class 1.56 MB PNG and on dates (discreetly thankfully) >would randomly grope and fondle my balls in public >wore a vibrating buttplug when we went out and would give me the remote >whenever we were alone she would blow me whenever she pleased by removing my pants, no questions asked >would wake me up with b------- since she couldn't wait for me to wake up to >had an obsession with c--, always wanted me to finish on her throat, mouth or ass >would beg for a--- on the middle of a b------ or normal f---, she was always clean for some reason >average of at least 3 sexual activities during the day >she would orgasm around 5 times per f--- >screamer >always tried to push me into doing weird s--- to her, fisting, abuse, bdsm etc She was the stereotype of the girl coomer. I miss her sometimes but relationship wise it was pretty bad. She was as loyal as you can get though >>60727536 #
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)03:48:40 No.60727521 >>60724481(OP) # My ex was. BPD and nymphomania. A nice disaster cocktail. I can greentext some of the stuff she did "Enemy" "Sex" >would masturbate in public transport, class 1.56 MB PNG and on dates (discreetly thankfully) >would randomly grope and fondle my balls in public >wore a vibrating buttplug when we went out and would give me the remote >whenever we were alone she would blow me whenever she pleased by removing my pants, no questions asked >would wake me up with b------- since she couldn't wait for me to wake up to >had an obsession with c--, always wanted me to finish on her throat, mouth or ass >would beg for a--- on the middle of a b------ or normal f---, she was always clean for some reason >average of at least 3 sexual activities during the day >she would orgasm around 5 times per f--- >screamer >always tried to push me into doing weird s--- to her, fisting, abuse, bdsm etc She was the stereotype of the girl coomer. I miss her sometimes but relationship wise it was pretty bad. She was as loyal as you can get though >>60727536 #

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pure 4chan wisdom. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/22/19(Tue)00:09:26 No.50546105 literally everything feels better leaving your body except maybe blood >spew >piss 5 KB JPG >c-- >boogers >s--- >farts >queefs >burps The bigger the better.
: Anonymous 01/22/19(Tue)00:09:26 No.50546105 literally everything feels better leaving your body except maybe blood >spew >piss 5 KB JPG >c-- >boogers >s--- >farts >queefs >burps The bigger the better.

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Anon gets a kiss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)03:43:40 No.63252295 >kiss my first girl >get a pimple on my lips a week later >it hurts when I lick it 20 KB JPG 16 Replies / 4 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)06:46:17 No.63253675 >>63252295 (OP) # nice, you are now part of the majority of people who have herpes
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)03:43:40 No.63252295 >kiss my first girl >get a pimple on my lips a week later >it hurts when I lick it 20 KB JPG 16 Replies / 4 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)06:46:17 No.63253675 >>63252295 (OP) # nice, you are now part of the majority of people who have herpes

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Anon drives | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/20(Wed)09:58:52 No.57114027 >driving down the road >thinking about how thin the line between life and death is >l could literally just turn the steering wheel and die >or would I? >throw the wheel to the left and fly into 142 KB JPG the ditch >don't die >car stuck in ditch I feel so retarded it's almost empowering
: Anonymous 03/11/20(Wed)09:58:52 No.57114027 >driving down the road >thinking about how thin the line between life and death is >l could literally just turn the steering wheel and die >or would I? >throw the wheel to the left and fly into 142 KB JPG the ditch >don't die >car stuck in ditch I feel so retarded it's almost empowering

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Anon refuses his destiny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:03:49 No.63243949 >had a dream about another boy >wake up alone in bed >tfw still alive ugh 134 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:05:58 No.63243977 >>63243949 (OP) # >not listening to the Grindrpill guy >refusing to get TOPPED This is all your fault senpai >>63244072 #
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:03:49 No.63243949 >had a dream about another boy >wake up alone in bed >tfw still alive ugh 134 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:05:58 No.63243977 >>63243949 (OP) # >not listening to the Grindrpill guy >refusing to get TOPPED This is all your fault senpai >>63244072 #

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Anon’s life is hard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)13:59:31 No.63245089 6F53B152-0EOF-4FE2-A921-1250B68B754E.jpg 41 KB JPG >accidentally bought cocaine F---, why does this s--- happen to me? : Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)14:00:07 No.63245097 >>63245089 (OP) # how does one buy cocaine accidentally? >>63245145 # >>63245172 # >>63245196 #
: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)13:59:31 No.63245089 6F53B152-0EOF-4FE2-A921-1250B68B754E.jpg 41 KB JPG >accidentally bought cocaine F---, why does this s--- happen to me? : Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)14:00:07 No.63245097 >>63245089 (OP) # how does one buy cocaine accidentally? >>63245145 # >>63245172 # >>63245196 #

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anon hates people with glasses | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)00:20:55 No.852278771 >wake up >feel like s--- while I drink my coffee >then a thought hits me! >some people have to wear glasses 8 KB JPG >mfw >day saved 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)00:24:35 No.852278899 >>852278771 (OP) # ngl rather stay blind than wear glasses
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)00:20:55 No.852278771 >wake up >feel like s--- while I drink my coffee >then a thought hits me! >some people have to wear glasses 8 KB JPG >mfw >day saved 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)00:24:35 No.852278899 >>852278771 (OP) # ngl rather stay blind than wear glasses

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Anon uses 4chan | /r/Greentext

> /b/ me > learn about 4chan from r/greentext > put 4chan in search bar > open 4chads > MFW it's loli and shota > W-- are you degenerates doing 19 KB JPG here > one of the first threads I see is some d------- killing lizards > MEW when no tendie greentexts, just pure, concentrated degeneracy > this place is actually for those with 4chins F--- you guys, i'm going home : Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)22:19:59 No.852262086 >>852261950 (OP) # eat s--- and die and you f------ tourist >>852263494 # : Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)22:27:40 No.852262639 >>852261950 (OP) # the truth always hurts : Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)22:35:50 No.852263200 >>852261950 (OP) # get filtered f----- >>852263494 # : Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)22:37:01 No.852263275 >>852261950 (OP) # no one gives a f--- >>852263494 #
> /b/ me > learn about 4chan from r/greentext > put 4chan in search bar > open 4chads > MFW it's loli and shota > W-- are you degenerates doing 19 KB JPG here > one of the first threads I see is some d------- killing lizards > MEW when no tendie greentexts, just pure, concentrated degeneracy > this place is actually for those with 4chins F--- you guys, i'm going home : Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)22:19:59 No.852262086 >>852261950 (OP) # eat s--- and die and you f------ tourist >>852263494 # : Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)22:27:40 No.852262639 >>852261950 (OP) # the truth always hurts : Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)22:35:50 No.852263200 >>852261950 (OP) # get filtered f----- >>852263494 # : Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)22:37:01 No.852263275 >>852261950 (OP) # no one gives a f--- >>852263494 #

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Anon has a foot fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What's your weirdest sexual fa(...) 04/16/21(Fri)18:54:47 No.63246670 >work at a fast food joint that's 99% women >they're all complaining about how much their feet hurt and how sweaty they are >imagine what it would be like if they all put their sweaty feet in my face while I j------- and they humiliate me 48 KB JPG >make me drink the sweat from their rung out socks >make me clean the c-- from their feet Being a footfag is a curse
: Anonymous What's your weirdest sexual fa(...) 04/16/21(Fri)18:54:47 No.63246670 >work at a fast food joint that's 99% women >they're all complaining about how much their feet hurt and how sweaty they are >imagine what it would be like if they all put their sweaty feet in my face while I j------- and they humiliate me 48 KB JPG >make me drink the sweat from their rung out socks >make me clean the c-- from their feet Being a footfag is a curse

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Femanon plan backfires | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 763032186 16 min. ago •.• >go into Boots to buy toothbrush >see Stacey I went to school with working behind the counter >hatch plan >pick up a box of Durex Extra Large >she'll think I have a hung super cute bf >walk up to counter >not sure if she recognizes me >pay for the toothbrush and condoms >as i'm walking out the door, I hear her whisper to her co-worker >"I think that t----- has a big d---" >mfw 45.6 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY
Anonymous | 763032186 16 min. ago •.• >go into Boots to buy toothbrush >see Stacey I went to school with working behind the counter >hatch plan >pick up a box of Durex Extra Large >she'll think I have a hung super cute bf >walk up to counter >not sure if she recognizes me >pay for the toothbrush and condoms >as i'm walking out the door, I hear her whisper to her co-worker >"I think that t----- has a big d---" >mfw 45.6 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY

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Anon shits | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)12:30:16 No.63007868 >didnt s--- for 3 days >S--- 3 times in the last hour Back to normal 61 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)12:30:16 No.63007868 >didnt s--- for 3 days >S--- 3 times in the last hour Back to normal 61 KB JPG

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Put on Netflix anon | /r/Greentext

File: 1586857366733.jpg (82 KB, 872x867) Anonymous 09/15/20(Tue)01:51:08 No.130540921 >>130540967 >>130541085 >>130541365 >>130541402 >ask him to put on Netflix >he glances at me and starts fumbling with some weird cable on his TV and laptop >we sit there while he does something on his laptop with trembling finger >he mumbles something about some "torrents"
File: 1586857366733.jpg (82 KB, 872x867) Anonymous 09/15/20(Tue)01:51:08 No.130540921 >>130540967 >>130541085 >>130541365 >>130541402 >ask him to put on Netflix >he glances at me and starts fumbling with some weird cable on his TV and laptop >we sit there while he does something on his laptop with trembling finger >he mumbles something about some "torrents"

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Anon is small | /r/Greentext

>be me, 11 >italian >my father teaches me how to make pizza >he says than the yeast makes pizza's mass double in size >distract him >pick some yeast >go to bathroom >slap the yeast on my spaghetti >wait 2 hours 39 KB JPG >didn't worked >mfw
>be me, 11 >italian >my father teaches me how to make pizza >he says than the yeast makes pizza's mass double in size >distract him >pick some yeast >go to bathroom >slap the yeast on my spaghetti >wait 2 hours 39 KB JPG >didn't worked >mfw

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Anon scares the chads | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)07:55:05 No.63251555 >be me ZONE cool >s------- in public university bathroom >no one else here >two alphas walk in >l'm squat pooping, so they don't see my feet under the stall door 465 KB PNG >don't want them to bully me, so I stay as quiet as possible >they start talking about sex and drugs and other alpha things >goes on for five minutes >they notice one of the stall doors is closed >knock on door >'yo, is anyone in there?" >panic >shout 'F--- OFF! >my voice is incredibly deep >they leave the bathroom quickly >mfw I scared the alphas
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)07:55:05 No.63251555 >be me ZONE cool >s------- in public university bathroom >no one else here >two alphas walk in >l'm squat pooping, so they don't see my feet under the stall door 465 KB PNG >don't want them to bully me, so I stay as quiet as possible >they start talking about sex and drugs and other alpha things >goes on for five minutes >they notice one of the stall doors is closed >knock on door >'yo, is anyone in there?" >panic >shout 'F--- OFF! >my voice is incredibly deep >they leave the bathroom quickly >mfw I scared the alphas

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