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Anon goes to a gender reveal party | /r/Greentext

>be at gender reveal party >people wandering around chatting, waiting for the reveal >suddenly a hobo jumps out of a bush and stabs a guy in the chest >the guy screams and clutches his wound, blood is pouring out 526 KB PNG >the blood is baby blue >"It's a boy!"
>be at gender reveal party >people wandering around chatting, waiting for the reveal >suddenly a hobo jumps out of a bush and stabs a guy in the chest >the guy screams and clutches his wound, blood is pouring out 526 KB PNG >the blood is baby blue >"It's a boy!"

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Anons mom is out sexing tyrone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:05:32 No.63243973 >mom isnt home >dont know how to make food so Im starving abrez 123 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:06:59 No.63243995 you could at least make cereal >>63244083 # : Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:07:00 No.63243996 >>63243973 (OP) # You should be getting TOPPED on Grindr by a DILF you are alone anon nce >>63244083 #
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:05:32 No.63243973 >mom isnt home >dont know how to make food so Im starving abrez 123 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:06:59 No.63243995 you could at least make cereal >>63244083 # : Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:07:00 No.63243996 >>63243973 (OP) # You should be getting TOPPED on Grindr by a DILF you are alone anon nce >>63244083 #

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Covid messing things up for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)11:41:08 No.852231981 >be me ? >surgeon, well settled with good properties >be in a relationship for two years : with a qt3.14 >be super supportive and treat her like a queen 2. 41 KB JPG >Rare or no fights at all >fookin China virus comes and we end up in two different towns >her texts and calls start getting less and less >she f------ breaks up with me because she doesn't see a future with me because I wanted to earn well and live a good life and she doesn't want to be a hindrance. I am guessing that she got into an other relationship
: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)11:41:08 No.852231981 >be me ? >surgeon, well settled with good properties >be in a relationship for two years : with a qt3.14 >be super supportive and treat her like a queen 2. 41 KB JPG >Rare or no fights at all >fookin China virus comes and we end up in two different towns >her texts and calls start getting less and less >she f------ breaks up with me because she doesn't see a future with me because I wanted to earn well and live a good life and she doesn't want to be a hindrance. I am guessing that she got into an other relationship

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Anon gets his revenge | /r/Greentext

File: pepe a.jpg (5 KB, 219x123) Anonymous 05/19/19(Sun)19:55:51 No.800152406 Alright /b/ros I got a story for yous >Be me >14 >Don't share online stuff with parents, as usual for teens >One day, mom walks into room >Asks to see through my laptop and phone >Tell her no >She says she will ground me and take away EVERYTHING i have >Ask her if she would like if I looked through her PC and phone >"I have nothing to hide" >l'm forced to say yes >Finds my Reddit, Insta and Snap alongside my hentai stash >Oh s--- >Takes away my phone and laptop and makes me delete all my accs >Well f--- 3 months later >Be me >15 now, still feels violated of privacy since >Asks mom for her phone to watch YouTube >Agrees >Watch YT for a while, gets bored >Goes through her texts Oh s--- >Finds out she has been cheating on my dad with her co-worker >Tell Dad, show him the proof >Dad confronts mom, she tells the truth >Dad files for divorce and wins custody of me and little sis 1 month later >Visiting mom, she's living with a friend >Confess to her that I was the one who told dad >She is shocked and asks why >"You said you had nothing to hide so I checked to make sure" >She remembers when she took my laptop and phone, etc >Starts bawling and says I ruined her life, etc >loldontcare.mp3 >Dad comes to pick me and sis up >Mom screams "I never ever want to see you again" >K >Drive away It's been 3 years and I haven't talked to her since. F--- you mom, you cheating w----.
File: pepe a.jpg (5 KB, 219x123) Anonymous 05/19/19(Sun)19:55:51 No.800152406 Alright /b/ros I got a story for yous >Be me >14 >Don't share online stuff with parents, as usual for teens >One day, mom walks into room >Asks to see through my laptop and phone >Tell her no >She says she will ground me and take away EVERYTHING i have >Ask her if she would like if I looked through her PC and phone >"I have nothing to hide" >l'm forced to say yes >Finds my Reddit, Insta and Snap alongside my hentai stash >Oh s--- >Takes away my phone and laptop and makes me delete all my accs >Well f--- 3 months later >Be me >15 now, still feels violated of privacy since >Asks mom for her phone to watch YouTube >Agrees >Watch YT for a while, gets bored >Goes through her texts Oh s--- >Finds out she has been cheating on my dad with her co-worker >Tell Dad, show him the proof >Dad confronts mom, she tells the truth >Dad files for divorce and wins custody of me and little sis 1 month later >Visiting mom, she's living with a friend >Confess to her that I was the one who told dad >She is shocked and asks why >"You said you had nothing to hide so I checked to make sure" >She remembers when she took my laptop and phone, etc >Starts bawling and says I ruined her life, etc >loldontcare.mp3 >Dad comes to pick me and sis up >Mom screams "I never ever want to see you again" >K >Drive away It's been 3 years and I haven't talked to her since. F--- you mom, you cheating w----.

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Anon is done | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/24/18(Mon)10:39:21 No.780684379 >be me lonely virgin >only ever hooked up with one grill >friends invite me to movie theatre >didn't want to go, but they 10 KB JPG convinced me to come along >end up meeting this qt 3.14 >solid 8/10, bright blue eyes, pretty face, t hicc >we actually hit it off pretty well >go in the theatre and we end up being alone together >we ended up holding hands and that's when It happened >mfw when I wake up from my dream and I was literally f------ holding my own hand, alone in bed. Please someone just kill me 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 09/24/18(Mon)10:39:21 No.780684379 >be me lonely virgin >only ever hooked up with one grill >friends invite me to movie theatre >didn't want to go, but they 10 KB JPG convinced me to come along >end up meeting this qt 3.14 >solid 8/10, bright blue eyes, pretty face, t hicc >we actually hit it off pretty well >go in the theatre and we end up being alone together >we ended up holding hands and that's when It happened >mfw when I wake up from my dream and I was literally f------ holding my own hand, alone in bed. Please someone just kill me 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon misspells bbc | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)09:50:39 No.63239664 >be me >Teacher talking about how p--- warps our perspective on the female body >Picks on me and asks me what I think the ideal body image is in this 20 KB JPG pornographic world >mfw when I'm actually into fat bbw p--- So what was your story of wreaking your teacher? Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)09:51:47 No.63239445 I've never understood bbw p---. Like just why? Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)09:54:14 No.63239428 >>63239445 monke see chubby move monke brain happy
Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)09:50:39 No.63239664 >be me >Teacher talking about how p--- warps our perspective on the female body >Picks on me and asks me what I think the ideal body image is in this 20 KB JPG pornographic world >mfw when I'm actually into fat bbw p--- So what was your story of wreaking your teacher? Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)09:51:47 No.63239445 I've never understood bbw p---. Like just why? Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)09:54:14 No.63239428 >>63239445 monke see chubby move monke brain happy

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Anon want to get MILF | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me >19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class 41 KB JPG >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up : Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:55:54 No.45281651 >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something
: Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me >19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class 41 KB JPG >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up : Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:55:54 No.45281651 >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something

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Anon's package gets delayed | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)10:06:24 No.852223506 roll File: 398b8a93b74505e7773dbee79(...).jpg (45 KB, 500x378) O Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)10:06:19 No.852223502 [(Reply] >be me >tv broke yesterday >order part that will fix it >Fed Ex overnight shipping because americanflag.gif >estimated delivery, 4-16- 21 >wake up >comfy.mp3 >check package delivery tracker >"We are deeply shocked and saddened by the loss of our team members following the tragic shooting at our FedEx Ground facility in Indianapolis." >check package location >FedEx location: INDIANAPOLIS, IN >tfw mass shooting delays your overnight shipping
>> Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)10:06:24 No.852223506 roll File: 398b8a93b74505e7773dbee79(...).jpg (45 KB, 500x378) O Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)10:06:19 No.852223502 [(Reply] >be me >tv broke yesterday >order part that will fix it >Fed Ex overnight shipping because americanflag.gif >estimated delivery, 4-16- 21 >wake up >comfy.mp3 >check package delivery tracker >"We are deeply shocked and saddened by the loss of our team members following the tragic shooting at our FedEx Ground facility in Indianapolis." >check package location >FedEx location: INDIANAPOLIS, IN >tfw mass shooting delays your overnight shipping

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Anon finds true peace | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/09/18(Sun)10:50:38 No.49755013 >tfw I see a d--- in a p--- vid that's smaller than mine Is there a better feel than this? 806 KB PNG View Thread
: Anonymous 12/09/18(Sun)10:50:38 No.49755013 >tfw I see a d--- in a p--- vid that's smaller than mine Is there a better feel than this? 806 KB PNG View Thread

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Anon has a curse | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)13:56:17 No.63238489 >get through the whole day not having to s--- at all, not even the feeling of impending doom >getting ready for the night >enter bed >instantly have to s--- my body is actively working against me and there's no denying it now 31 KB JPG
Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)13:56:17 No.63238489 >get through the whole day not having to s--- at all, not even the feeling of impending doom >getting ready for the night >enter bed >instantly have to s--- my body is actively working against me and there's no denying it now 31 KB JPG

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Anon has a good time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)08:37:50 No.63239217 >drink >have a good time >eat something fre etide >pass out >wake up >puke 291 KB JPG >pass out >wake up >puke >continue to drink LET'S F------ GOO000000000000
: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)08:37:50 No.63239217 >drink >have a good time >eat something fre etide >pass out >wake up >puke 291 KB JPG >pass out >wake up >puke >continue to drink LET'S F------ GOO000000000000

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Nice ending lol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/18(Mon)13:41:58 No.787577374 >be me, 15 >sister, 17 walks out of shower her towel is hanging very loosely on her body >tell her to tighten it up, she nods and walks off 5 KB JPG >go have a shower and forget about it because I'm not a degenerate >have sex with my mom later that night 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 12/17/18(Mon)13:41:58 No.787577374 >be me, 15 >sister, 17 walks out of shower her towel is hanging very loosely on her body >tell her to tighten it up, she nods and walks off 5 KB JPG >go have a shower and forget about it because I'm not a degenerate >have sex with my mom later that night 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon had a cool battery collection | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)06:42:17 No.63233233 >had a battery collection in 3rd grade, got suspended for bringing it to school >constantly taunted girls about how they were going to get pregnant >poked another retard until he screamed at the school talent 62 KB JPG show >believed that I had legitimate super powers and managed to convince another student of it >ate woodchips at recess >played multiplayer board games with myself at after-school daycare >mixed the contents of my lunch into a giant soup and force-fed it to one of my friends >ran around putting snow down other people's backs at recess I'm glad I moved across the country after elementary school, l'd never be able to live my autism down. 13 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)06:42:17 No.63233233 >had a battery collection in 3rd grade, got suspended for bringing it to school >constantly taunted girls about how they were going to get pregnant >poked another retard until he screamed at the school talent 62 KB JPG show >believed that I had legitimate super powers and managed to convince another student of it >ate woodchips at recess >played multiplayer board games with myself at after-school daycare >mixed the contents of my lunch into a giant soup and force-fed it to one of my friends >ran around putting snow down other people's backs at recess I'm glad I moved across the country after elementary school, l'd never be able to live my autism down. 13 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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God looks out for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/20(Fri)11:19:20 No.61442953 >be me >be a month and a half ago >tired of being a f------ virgin so I get on tinder and raw dog (which she didn't seem to mind) the first fat chick I match with feels, goan 9 KB PNG >be almost a month later >fatty tells me she has been late on her period so she did a pregnancy test and it came out positive >freak the hell out and deny everything >block her from everything but she keeps trying to contact me, fortunately she doesn't know where I live >decide to just lay low and keep ignoring her and it'll eventually go away >be a couple of weeks ago >friend of hers contacts me to tell me she got the rona >be today >just got a message from her friend, turns out the bitch died of covid >feels immense relief sometimes God is really looking out for you
: Anonymous 12/18/20(Fri)11:19:20 No.61442953 >be me >be a month and a half ago >tired of being a f------ virgin so I get on tinder and raw dog (which she didn't seem to mind) the first fat chick I match with feels, goan 9 KB PNG >be almost a month later >fatty tells me she has been late on her period so she did a pregnancy test and it came out positive >freak the hell out and deny everything >block her from everything but she keeps trying to contact me, fortunately she doesn't know where I live >decide to just lay low and keep ignoring her and it'll eventually go away >be a couple of weeks ago >friend of hers contacts me to tell me she got the rona >be today >just got a message from her friend, turns out the bitch died of covid >feels immense relief sometimes God is really looking out for you

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Anon misses GF | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)07:48:36 No.852217512 >god I miss her >be driving >miss my exit >full of rage >reach over to hit her for giving bad directions 107 KB PNG >she's not there >god I miss her
: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)07:48:36 No.852217512 >god I miss her >be driving >miss my exit >full of rage >reach over to hit her for giving bad directions 107 KB PNG >she's not there >god I miss her

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Anon's troll cost a trip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)08:38:22 No.63234414 >>63234216 # >drew a penis on the dry erase board, got the whole class in trouble, we weren't allowed to go on a trip noW 46 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)08:38:22 No.63234414 >>63234216 # >drew a penis on the dry erase board, got the whole class in trouble, we weren't allowed to go on a trip noW 46 KB JPG

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Anon finds a glitch in the Matrix...? | /r/Greentext

: noko...also the game 09/29/17(Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh l'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. : Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #
: noko...also the game 09/29/17(Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh l'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. : Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #

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step sibling fun time | /r/Greentext

>walk in on step-sis accidentally when she is in the bathroom >see a bit of a t---- for a solid second >she covers herself and starts screeching I must leave >brain switches to coomer mode >tell her maybe I can help her wash her back >she raises an eyebrow in shock >tell her we could have some step-bro step-sis time together >kicks me out while calling me a f----up >tells my mom and her dad (my step-dad) >they ask what the f--- gotten into me >two weeks passed but I can still see in their eyes they consider me some weirdo perv >tfw p--- unironically made me into a retard
>walk in on step-sis accidentally when she is in the bathroom >see a bit of a t---- for a solid second >she covers herself and starts screeching I must leave >brain switches to coomer mode >tell her maybe I can help her wash her back >she raises an eyebrow in shock >tell her we could have some step-bro step-sis time together >kicks me out while calling me a f----up >tells my mom and her dad (my step-dad) >they ask what the f--- gotten into me >two weeks passed but I can still see in their eyes they consider me some weirdo perv >tfw p--- unironically made me into a retard

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Anon devises a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)20:24:43 No.852187990 urePics maxresdefault.jpg 69 KB JPG >become a gril >get that cybercunt 2077 >invent a time machine >travel back in time >"go f--- yourself" they always say >do it later virgins View Thread
: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)20:24:43 No.852187990 urePics maxresdefault.jpg 69 KB JPG >become a gril >get that cybercunt 2077 >invent a time machine >travel back in time >"go f--- yourself" they always say >do it later virgins View Thread

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Anon goes to America | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)19:15:00 No.852213961 NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens 10/02/17 8:46am - SEE MORE: NEWS MAND AMR Ini al lep POLICE unpreventable.png 799 KB PNG >go to America >get shot
: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)19:15:00 No.852213961 NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens 10/02/17 8:46am - SEE MORE: NEWS MAND AMR Ini al lep POLICE unpreventable.png 799 KB PNG >go to America >get shot

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