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Femanon plan backfires | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 763032186 16 min. ago •.• >go into Boots to buy toothbrush >see Stacey I went to school with working behind the counter >hatch plan >pick up a box of Durex Extra Large >she'll think I have a hung super cute bf >walk up to counter >not sure if she recognizes me >pay for the toothbrush and condoms >as i'm walking out the door, I hear her whisper to her co-worker >"I think that t----- has a big d---" >mfw 45.6 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY
Anonymous | 763032186 16 min. ago •.• >go into Boots to buy toothbrush >see Stacey I went to school with working behind the counter >hatch plan >pick up a box of Durex Extra Large >she'll think I have a hung super cute bf >walk up to counter >not sure if she recognizes me >pay for the toothbrush and condoms >as i'm walking out the door, I hear her whisper to her co-worker >"I think that t----- has a big d---" >mfw 45.6 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY

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Anon shits | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)12:30:16 No.63007868 >didnt s--- for 3 days >S--- 3 times in the last hour Back to normal 61 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)12:30:16 No.63007868 >didnt s--- for 3 days >S--- 3 times in the last hour Back to normal 61 KB JPG

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Put on Netflix anon | /r/Greentext

File: 1586857366733.jpg (82 KB, 872x867) Anonymous 09/15/20(Tue)01:51:08 No.130540921 >>130540967 >>130541085 >>130541365 >>130541402 >ask him to put on Netflix >he glances at me and starts fumbling with some weird cable on his TV and laptop >we sit there while he does something on his laptop with trembling finger >he mumbles something about some "torrents"
File: 1586857366733.jpg (82 KB, 872x867) Anonymous 09/15/20(Tue)01:51:08 No.130540921 >>130540967 >>130541085 >>130541365 >>130541402 >ask him to put on Netflix >he glances at me and starts fumbling with some weird cable on his TV and laptop >we sit there while he does something on his laptop with trembling finger >he mumbles something about some "torrents"

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Anon is small | /r/Greentext

>be me, 11 >italian >my father teaches me how to make pizza >he says than the yeast makes pizza's mass double in size >distract him >pick some yeast >go to bathroom >slap the yeast on my spaghetti >wait 2 hours 39 KB JPG >didn't worked >mfw
>be me, 11 >italian >my father teaches me how to make pizza >he says than the yeast makes pizza's mass double in size >distract him >pick some yeast >go to bathroom >slap the yeast on my spaghetti >wait 2 hours 39 KB JPG >didn't worked >mfw

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Anon scares the chads | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)07:55:05 No.63251555 >be me ZONE cool >s------- in public university bathroom >no one else here >two alphas walk in >l'm squat pooping, so they don't see my feet under the stall door 465 KB PNG >don't want them to bully me, so I stay as quiet as possible >they start talking about sex and drugs and other alpha things >goes on for five minutes >they notice one of the stall doors is closed >knock on door >'yo, is anyone in there?" >panic >shout 'F--- OFF! >my voice is incredibly deep >they leave the bathroom quickly >mfw I scared the alphas
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)07:55:05 No.63251555 >be me ZONE cool >s------- in public university bathroom >no one else here >two alphas walk in >l'm squat pooping, so they don't see my feet under the stall door 465 KB PNG >don't want them to bully me, so I stay as quiet as possible >they start talking about sex and drugs and other alpha things >goes on for five minutes >they notice one of the stall doors is closed >knock on door >'yo, is anyone in there?" >panic >shout 'F--- OFF! >my voice is incredibly deep >they leave the bathroom quickly >mfw I scared the alphas

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Anon's dad is a bit strange | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)23:28:54 No.63225053 >having coffee on street with my dad >pair of girls of questionable age walk by >one is in a bikini >dad says 'very nice' in a Borat voice >one girl hears and looks visibly disgusted I think my dad might be a massive autist
Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)23:28:54 No.63225053 >having coffee on street with my dad >pair of girls of questionable age walk by >one is in a bikini >dad says 'very nice' in a Borat voice >one girl hears and looks visibly disgusted I think my dad might be a massive autist

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Anon wants to become a sigma male | /r/Greentext

File: 1597697729375.jpg (7 KB, 250x237) Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)23:24:01 No.4197222 >Go to mcdonalds >"Yeah can I get a cheeseburger" >Wagie just flat out says "No." >Shocked at his answer >Don't know what to say so I leave Am la beta
File: 1597697729375.jpg (7 KB, 250x237) Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)23:24:01 No.4197222 >Go to mcdonalds >"Yeah can I get a cheeseburger" >Wagie just flat out says "No." >Shocked at his answer >Don't know what to say so I leave Am la beta

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Almost famous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)19:44:32 No.63247396 >started picking my nose while in my car >look over >see a girl in another car, holding up her phone filming me 539 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)19:44:32 No.63247396 >started picking my nose while in my car >look over >see a girl in another car, holding up her phone filming me 539 KB PNG

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Anon wants to sleep | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CITYOAVA ) 04/16/21(Fri)08:23:21 >wake up >FBI confirms ufo video >another mass shooting >riots for kid shot up by police >vaccines are f------ people up Maybe I should just go back to sleep
Anonymous (ID: CITYOAVA ) 04/16/21(Fri)08:23:21 >wake up >FBI confirms ufo video >another mass shooting >riots for kid shot up by police >vaccines are f------ people up Maybe I should just go back to sleep

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Anon is happy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: kOa0elgg 10/04/18(Thu)16:43:46 No.6592838 >be me >be high school kissless virgin >is dress-up week st my school >come in creative costume >close friend/girl i'm in love with likes it 340 KB JPG >wants to take a picture with me >she puts my arm around her >camera takes a second to boot-up >be perfectly happy just making contact with her, feeling close to her >be happy all day >pic related
: Anonymous (ID: kOa0elgg 10/04/18(Thu)16:43:46 No.6592838 >be me >be high school kissless virgin >is dress-up week st my school >come in creative costume >close friend/girl i'm in love with likes it 340 KB JPG >wants to take a picture with me >she puts my arm around her >camera takes a second to boot-up >be perfectly happy just making contact with her, feeling close to her >be happy all day >pic related

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Anon does a food | /r/Greentext

File: proxy-image (37).png (44 KB, 657x527) Anonymous 08/12/20(Wed)07:44:00 No.59533206 [Re >be me >get horny >also be hungry >decide to eat before masturbating >cook a nice hardy meal of bacon & eggs >eat it >don't feel like jerking it anymore >way more satisfied and feeling better than if I had Thanks food Anonymous 08/12/20(Wed)07:58:16 No.59533315 >>59533206 (OP) # food never disappoint
File: proxy-image (37).png (44 KB, 657x527) Anonymous 08/12/20(Wed)07:44:00 No.59533206 [Re >be me >get horny >also be hungry >decide to eat before masturbating >cook a nice hardy meal of bacon & eggs >eat it >don't feel like jerking it anymore >way more satisfied and feeling better than if I had Thanks food Anonymous 08/12/20(Wed)07:58:16 No.59533315 >>59533206 (OP) # food never disappoint

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Anon meets a person | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)07:41:14 No.63062 >meet a person >start talking about things we like >he mentions he likes anything related to anime >leave 36 KB JPG
Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)07:41:14 No.63062 >meet a person >start talking about things we like >he mentions he likes anything related to anime >leave 36 KB JPG

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Anon moves out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)00:23:07 No.63246268 VIRGIN 1SLANDS OF THE UNITED STATES >Be me >Just moved out of the Virgin THAO Cane Thome Snt Jahi Islands Stock >See you later Virgins Saint Cale Stock 341 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)00:23:07 No.63246268 VIRGIN 1SLANDS OF THE UNITED STATES >Be me >Just moved out of the Virgin THAO Cane Thome Snt Jahi Islands Stock >See you later Virgins Saint Cale Stock 341 KB JPG

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Anon goes to a gender reveal party | /r/Greentext

>be at gender reveal party >people wandering around chatting, waiting for the reveal >suddenly a hobo jumps out of a bush and stabs a guy in the chest >the guy screams and clutches his wound, blood is pouring out 526 KB PNG >the blood is baby blue >"It's a boy!"
>be at gender reveal party >people wandering around chatting, waiting for the reveal >suddenly a hobo jumps out of a bush and stabs a guy in the chest >the guy screams and clutches his wound, blood is pouring out 526 KB PNG >the blood is baby blue >"It's a boy!"

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Anons mom is out sexing tyrone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:05:32 No.63243973 >mom isnt home >dont know how to make food so Im starving abrez 123 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:06:59 No.63243995 you could at least make cereal >>63244083 # : Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:07:00 No.63243996 >>63243973 (OP) # You should be getting TOPPED on Grindr by a DILF you are alone anon nce >>63244083 #
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:05:32 No.63243973 >mom isnt home >dont know how to make food so Im starving abrez 123 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:06:59 No.63243995 you could at least make cereal >>63244083 # : Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:07:00 No.63243996 >>63243973 (OP) # You should be getting TOPPED on Grindr by a DILF you are alone anon nce >>63244083 #

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Covid messing things up for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)11:41:08 No.852231981 >be me ? >surgeon, well settled with good properties >be in a relationship for two years : with a qt3.14 >be super supportive and treat her like a queen 2. 41 KB JPG >Rare or no fights at all >fookin China virus comes and we end up in two different towns >her texts and calls start getting less and less >she f------ breaks up with me because she doesn't see a future with me because I wanted to earn well and live a good life and she doesn't want to be a hindrance. I am guessing that she got into an other relationship
: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)11:41:08 No.852231981 >be me ? >surgeon, well settled with good properties >be in a relationship for two years : with a qt3.14 >be super supportive and treat her like a queen 2. 41 KB JPG >Rare or no fights at all >fookin China virus comes and we end up in two different towns >her texts and calls start getting less and less >she f------ breaks up with me because she doesn't see a future with me because I wanted to earn well and live a good life and she doesn't want to be a hindrance. I am guessing that she got into an other relationship

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Anon gets his revenge | /r/Greentext

File: pepe a.jpg (5 KB, 219x123) Anonymous 05/19/19(Sun)19:55:51 No.800152406 Alright /b/ros I got a story for yous >Be me >14 >Don't share online stuff with parents, as usual for teens >One day, mom walks into room >Asks to see through my laptop and phone >Tell her no >She says she will ground me and take away EVERYTHING i have >Ask her if she would like if I looked through her PC and phone >"I have nothing to hide" >l'm forced to say yes >Finds my Reddit, Insta and Snap alongside my hentai stash >Oh s--- >Takes away my phone and laptop and makes me delete all my accs >Well f--- 3 months later >Be me >15 now, still feels violated of privacy since >Asks mom for her phone to watch YouTube >Agrees >Watch YT for a while, gets bored >Goes through her texts Oh s--- >Finds out she has been cheating on my dad with her co-worker >Tell Dad, show him the proof >Dad confronts mom, she tells the truth >Dad files for divorce and wins custody of me and little sis 1 month later >Visiting mom, she's living with a friend >Confess to her that I was the one who told dad >She is shocked and asks why >"You said you had nothing to hide so I checked to make sure" >She remembers when she took my laptop and phone, etc >Starts bawling and says I ruined her life, etc >loldontcare.mp3 >Dad comes to pick me and sis up >Mom screams "I never ever want to see you again" >K >Drive away It's been 3 years and I haven't talked to her since. F--- you mom, you cheating w----.
File: pepe a.jpg (5 KB, 219x123) Anonymous 05/19/19(Sun)19:55:51 No.800152406 Alright /b/ros I got a story for yous >Be me >14 >Don't share online stuff with parents, as usual for teens >One day, mom walks into room >Asks to see through my laptop and phone >Tell her no >She says she will ground me and take away EVERYTHING i have >Ask her if she would like if I looked through her PC and phone >"I have nothing to hide" >l'm forced to say yes >Finds my Reddit, Insta and Snap alongside my hentai stash >Oh s--- >Takes away my phone and laptop and makes me delete all my accs >Well f--- 3 months later >Be me >15 now, still feels violated of privacy since >Asks mom for her phone to watch YouTube >Agrees >Watch YT for a while, gets bored >Goes through her texts Oh s--- >Finds out she has been cheating on my dad with her co-worker >Tell Dad, show him the proof >Dad confronts mom, she tells the truth >Dad files for divorce and wins custody of me and little sis 1 month later >Visiting mom, she's living with a friend >Confess to her that I was the one who told dad >She is shocked and asks why >"You said you had nothing to hide so I checked to make sure" >She remembers when she took my laptop and phone, etc >Starts bawling and says I ruined her life, etc >loldontcare.mp3 >Dad comes to pick me and sis up >Mom screams "I never ever want to see you again" >K >Drive away It's been 3 years and I haven't talked to her since. F--- you mom, you cheating w----.

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Anon is done | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/24/18(Mon)10:39:21 No.780684379 >be me lonely virgin >only ever hooked up with one grill >friends invite me to movie theatre >didn't want to go, but they 10 KB JPG convinced me to come along >end up meeting this qt 3.14 >solid 8/10, bright blue eyes, pretty face, t hicc >we actually hit it off pretty well >go in the theatre and we end up being alone together >we ended up holding hands and that's when It happened >mfw when I wake up from my dream and I was literally f------ holding my own hand, alone in bed. Please someone just kill me 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 09/24/18(Mon)10:39:21 No.780684379 >be me lonely virgin >only ever hooked up with one grill >friends invite me to movie theatre >didn't want to go, but they 10 KB JPG convinced me to come along >end up meeting this qt 3.14 >solid 8/10, bright blue eyes, pretty face, t hicc >we actually hit it off pretty well >go in the theatre and we end up being alone together >we ended up holding hands and that's when It happened >mfw when I wake up from my dream and I was literally f------ holding my own hand, alone in bed. Please someone just kill me 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon misspells bbc | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)09:50:39 No.63239664 >be me >Teacher talking about how p--- warps our perspective on the female body >Picks on me and asks me what I think the ideal body image is in this 20 KB JPG pornographic world >mfw when I'm actually into fat bbw p--- So what was your story of wreaking your teacher? Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)09:51:47 No.63239445 I've never understood bbw p---. Like just why? Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)09:54:14 No.63239428 >>63239445 monke see chubby move monke brain happy
Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)09:50:39 No.63239664 >be me >Teacher talking about how p--- warps our perspective on the female body >Picks on me and asks me what I think the ideal body image is in this 20 KB JPG pornographic world >mfw when I'm actually into fat bbw p--- So what was your story of wreaking your teacher? Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)09:51:47 No.63239445 I've never understood bbw p---. Like just why? Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)09:54:14 No.63239428 >>63239445 monke see chubby move monke brain happy

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Anon want to get MILF | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me >19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class 41 KB JPG >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up : Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:55:54 No.45281651 >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something
: Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me >19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class 41 KB JPG >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up : Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:55:54 No.45281651 >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something

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