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Anon is the man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)08:35:56 No.63189330 >girl at work i like gets mad at me >almost start crying why am i like this bros? 258 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)08:35:56 No.63189330 >girl at work i like gets mad at me >almost start crying why am i like this bros? 258 KB JPG

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Anon faces a challenge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)02:06:39 No.63186375 >start jerking off >parents open their door 98 times and walk by every 5 seconds 49 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)02:06:39 No.63186375 >start jerking off >parents open their door 98 times and walk by every 5 seconds 49 KB JPG

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Anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)12:05:27 No.847435416 DSC_049.png 603 KB PNG >told this girl i had a fetish for police woman >i am black >she sent me this with the caption >"POV i am standing on your neck"
: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)12:05:27 No.847435416 DSC_049.png 603 KB PNG >told this girl i had a fetish for police woman >i am black >she sent me this with the caption >"POV i am standing on your neck"

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Anons did a little trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 63192366 1 hr. ago •. Anyone else like to do a little trolling? Tell us about a moment when you epicly trolled someone 281.6 kB PNG 2 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous | 63192594 1 hr. ago >Be me >Exist >Watch family suffer because of my existence >Epic trolld 93.3 kB JPG 1 hr. ago ... Anonymous | 63192650 >>63192366 (OP) >download set of pics of cute/sexy girls >edit them, so they can't be reverse image searched >post them on t----- subredits, so those f--- get disphoria, because they'll never be a women Anonymous | 63192652 59 min, ago So what I would do is go on snapchat, add random people, and just be a general d---. >Add random guy >talk trash >says he wants to fight >says he lives in Chicago >at around 3am send him to a large park about 10 minutes away >"I'm here, where you at n----?" >"I've been waiting here you bitch, show yourself" >keep insisting that I'm there and that he's flaking on the fight >tell him to scream so that I can locate him >sends me videos of him screaming at 3 am in chicago >send him a picture of my penis and call him a f-----
Anonymous | 63192366 1 hr. ago •. Anyone else like to do a little trolling? Tell us about a moment when you epicly trolled someone 281.6 kB PNG 2 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous | 63192594 1 hr. ago >Be me >Exist >Watch family suffer because of my existence >Epic trolld 93.3 kB JPG 1 hr. ago ... Anonymous | 63192650 >>63192366 (OP) >download set of pics of cute/sexy girls >edit them, so they can't be reverse image searched >post them on t----- subredits, so those f--- get disphoria, because they'll never be a women Anonymous | 63192652 59 min, ago So what I would do is go on snapchat, add random people, and just be a general d---. >Add random guy >talk trash >says he wants to fight >says he lives in Chicago >at around 3am send him to a large park about 10 minutes away >"I'm here, where you at n----?" >"I've been waiting here you bitch, show yourself" >keep insisting that I'm there and that he's flaking on the fight >tell him to scream so that I can locate him >sends me videos of him screaming at 3 am in chicago >send him a picture of my penis and call him a f-----

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Efficiency and progress is ours once more | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)12:51:27 No.63181404 >can you believe that only 500 years ago, our ancestors still experienced such horrors as physical pain? >even a minor mistake, like stepping on a lego, would result in unthinkable, excruciating suffering 31 KB JPG that could last for minutes >and their average life expectancy was only 90 years >only 90! >now, i may be a hideous, immobile blob of fat, permanently fused to the VR life support system, but l'll get to live this prosperous lifestyle for at least 400 more years >those poor, primitive sods, practically never got to live at all! >experts from the Cathedral of Science and Progress estimate the average level of consumption back then was merely 40,000 units of standardized value per lifetime >can you even imagine that? >nowadays we get to consume that amount on a daily basis >but here's the worst part: it's estimated that they had to put in at least 500 standardized units of effort to afford it >that's 50 times more units of effort than i ever had to put into anything in my life >sometimes those people had to suffer through long hours without entertainment >i am so thankful for the Overseers of Progress and Technology for providing us with such unthinkable prosperity >scientists say our objective levels of happiness are literally thousands of times higher than anything those cavemen could ever experience >we are definitely on the right track 23 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)15:02:05 No.63183018 Haha its butthole is in the front
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)12:51:27 No.63181404 >can you believe that only 500 years ago, our ancestors still experienced such horrors as physical pain? >even a minor mistake, like stepping on a lego, would result in unthinkable, excruciating suffering 31 KB JPG that could last for minutes >and their average life expectancy was only 90 years >only 90! >now, i may be a hideous, immobile blob of fat, permanently fused to the VR life support system, but l'll get to live this prosperous lifestyle for at least 400 more years >those poor, primitive sods, practically never got to live at all! >experts from the Cathedral of Science and Progress estimate the average level of consumption back then was merely 40,000 units of standardized value per lifetime >can you even imagine that? >nowadays we get to consume that amount on a daily basis >but here's the worst part: it's estimated that they had to put in at least 500 standardized units of effort to afford it >that's 50 times more units of effort than i ever had to put into anything in my life >sometimes those people had to suffer through long hours without entertainment >i am so thankful for the Overseers of Progress and Technology for providing us with such unthinkable prosperity >scientists say our objective levels of happiness are literally thousands of times higher than anything those cavemen could ever experience >we are definitely on the right track 23 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)15:02:05 No.63183018 Haha its butthole is in the front

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Anon feels better than you | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)09:34:19 No.551659084 >Take hot shower. >Put on some nice, freshly washed comfy clothes. >Have a nice meal prepared for the evening that you just need to heat up quickly. >Make a good drink. Maybe water with 42 KB JPG some fruits in it or a nice cocoa. >Build biggest pillowfort you can manage on your bed. >Get out old handheld. Maybe a GBC and Pokemon Silver or a PSP and MonHun FU. >Turn on some background noise on on a laptop. >Chill and play games all day and forget about the world for a while. Does anybody else here occasionally engage in comfmaxing?
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)09:34:19 No.551659084 >Take hot shower. >Put on some nice, freshly washed comfy clothes. >Have a nice meal prepared for the evening that you just need to heat up quickly. >Make a good drink. Maybe water with 42 KB JPG some fruits in it or a nice cocoa. >Build biggest pillowfort you can manage on your bed. >Get out old handheld. Maybe a GBC and Pokemon Silver or a PSP and MonHun FU. >Turn on some background noise on on a laptop. >Chill and play games all day and forget about the world for a while. Does anybody else here occasionally engage in comfmaxing?

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Anon is greek | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:20:04 No.63190097 >be greek living in america >parents want me to marry a greek girl >have never met another greek, let alone a greek woman in my time on this planet >start a new job >meet one of the most attractive 6 KB JPG women I have ever seen in my entire life >find out shes 100% pure greek, born in greece, came here when she was a child etc. >shes dating a 6'5 a---- chad As if I needed another reason to hate my life. 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)02:16:44 No.63191214 I'd recommend that you 10 KB JPG
Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:20:04 No.63190097 >be greek living in america >parents want me to marry a greek girl >have never met another greek, let alone a greek woman in my time on this planet >start a new job >meet one of the most attractive 6 KB JPG women I have ever seen in my entire life >find out shes 100% pure greek, born in greece, came here when she was a child etc. >shes dating a 6'5 a---- chad As if I needed another reason to hate my life. 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)02:16:44 No.63191214 I'd recommend that you 10 KB JPG

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Anon is saved | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:34 No.14058910 >walking home from a party late one evening >several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >catch me in some random student neighbourhood >oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >still in talking phase >lights flick on in a house >three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >"Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!" >ail three of them draw rapiers on their belts >guys run >"I know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >stagger home completely drunk with a hat I had no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house.
Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:34 No.14058910 >walking home from a party late one evening >several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >catch me in some random student neighbourhood >oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >still in talking phase >lights flick on in a house >three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >"Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!" >ail three of them draw rapiers on their belts >guys run >"I know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >stagger home completely drunk with a hat I had no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house.

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Femanon attends a funera | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/27/20(Tue)22:53:52 No.838743319 >femanon >7/10 attractive, bisexual, but extremely autistic so it ruins my chances with anyone >at a relative's funeral >we weren't very close, so l'm mainly there just to comfort my family 14 KB JPG >notice funeral director >just my type >try to make eyes at him the entire service >as I walk out, he touches my shoulder >go to graveside service >staring continues >he actually walks over to me >ohshit.gif >"I'm sorry for your loss, I hope you're doing okay" I literally thought this guy was gonna flirt with me at a funeral right next to a dead body being put in the ground while my entire family was crying their eyes out. Am I retarded or just desperate?
: Anonymous 10/27/20(Tue)22:53:52 No.838743319 >femanon >7/10 attractive, bisexual, but extremely autistic so it ruins my chances with anyone >at a relative's funeral >we weren't very close, so l'm mainly there just to comfort my family 14 KB JPG >notice funeral director >just my type >try to make eyes at him the entire service >as I walk out, he touches my shoulder >go to graveside service >staring continues >he actually walks over to me >ohshit.gif >"I'm sorry for your loss, I hope you're doing okay" I literally thought this guy was gonna flirt with me at a funeral right next to a dead body being put in the ground while my entire family was crying their eyes out. Am I retarded or just desperate?

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Anon needs help | /r/Greentext

>be me >f------ around with friends at 1 in the morning >setting our ring tones to really dumb s--- like us yelling "f--- black people" or whatever >high as f--- and don't remember any of it 110 KB JPG when i wake up the next morning >go into class >really tired, forgot to silence my phone like I usually do >a class discussion is happening, too zoned out to pay attention >apparently it was about something serious because when i snapped back to reality, some bitch was standing up and crying and it was super quiet >trying to remember what was being discussed >all of a sudden, my phone rings >"GET FINGERED BY TYRONE DUMB BITCH" >everyone looks in my direction >speedwalk out of the classroom >help i think they're looking for me, i can't stay in the school bathroom for much longer View Thread
>be me >f------ around with friends at 1 in the morning >setting our ring tones to really dumb s--- like us yelling "f--- black people" or whatever >high as f--- and don't remember any of it 110 KB JPG when i wake up the next morning >go into class >really tired, forgot to silence my phone like I usually do >a class discussion is happening, too zoned out to pay attention >apparently it was about something serious because when i snapped back to reality, some bitch was standing up and crying and it was super quiet >trying to remember what was being discussed >all of a sudden, my phone rings >"GET FINGERED BY TYRONE DUMB BITCH" >everyone looks in my direction >speedwalk out of the classroom >help i think they're looking for me, i can't stay in the school bathroom for much longer View Thread

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Anon is chad? Impossible. | /r/Greentext

>wake up >See mom >Call her "milk bags" >S--- pants >Leave 58m (4/13 12:10) · 851964463 f------ chad 58m (4/13 12:10) · 851964473 Kys •.. •..
>wake up >See mom >Call her "milk bags" >S--- pants >Leave 58m (4/13 12:10) · 851964463 f------ chad 58m (4/13 12:10) · 851964473 Kys •.. •..

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Anon ascends | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)01:39:15 No.63190861 >Be me >4/10 beta loser >Also into thicc/fat chicks >One day a 10/10 blonde hottie starts hitting on me >She very clearly wants me to ask her out >She's way t0o skinny and flat for me 33 KB JPG though >l tell her she's not really my type in front of her friends >They all look at me like l'm insane >She's visibly hurt I think I just accidentally made myself look like an alpha
Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)01:39:15 No.63190861 >Be me >4/10 beta loser >Also into thicc/fat chicks >One day a 10/10 blonde hottie starts hitting on me >She very clearly wants me to ask her out >She's way t0o skinny and flat for me 33 KB JPG though >l tell her she's not really my type in front of her friends >They all look at me like l'm insane >She's visibly hurt I think I just accidentally made myself look like an alpha

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Anon is a bad friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:08:58 No.851964370 >be me >3 days ago >female friend invites me out to an art museum >fuckye.jpg >ffw 3 days 55 KB JPG >she texts me out of the blue asking me where i am >ohshit.mp3 >dont even try to make up an excuse, tell her i forgot >she says its ok but i feel awful we were already meeting up tmr as well so its not as big a deal but i feel so s----- - it was just miscommunication and bad planning i dont want her to think i dont like her : Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:12:19 No.851964558 >I forgot >it was miscommunication and bad planning No it wasn't. It was you being a f------ moron. If you're going to be a bitch about it at least own your f------ mistake. Apologize to her tomorrow then have a good day.
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:08:58 No.851964370 >be me >3 days ago >female friend invites me out to an art museum >fuckye.jpg >ffw 3 days 55 KB JPG >she texts me out of the blue asking me where i am >ohshit.mp3 >dont even try to make up an excuse, tell her i forgot >she says its ok but i feel awful we were already meeting up tmr as well so its not as big a deal but i feel so s----- - it was just miscommunication and bad planning i dont want her to think i dont like her : Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)00:12:19 No.851964558 >I forgot >it was miscommunication and bad planning No it wasn't. It was you being a f------ moron. If you're going to be a bitch about it at least own your f------ mistake. Apologize to her tomorrow then have a good day.

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Anon is a lucky bastard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)03:11:10 No.63188016 >never ever flossed my teeth >not even once >go to the dentist >"i see youve been flossing, your gums are in perfect health, keep it up" 4 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)03:11:10 No.63188016 >never ever flossed my teeth >not even once >go to the dentist >"i see youve been flossing, your gums are in perfect health, keep it up" 4 KB PNG

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Anon doesn’t like France | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:46:41 No.851955469 > be me > don't hate myself > laugh at those who do > haha eat s--- France 85 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)21:46:41 No.851955469 > be me > don't hate myself > laugh at those who do > haha eat s--- France 85 KB JPG

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Anon finds evolution funny. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/19(Mon)19:19:22 No.11176183 yall think when humans were starting to walk all 2's there was this period where like they would like bully the n----- walkin 4 limbs like "look at this f------ retard walking on all fours Imaooooooo" and they'd stone 30 KB GIF him to death or something
: Anonymous 11/25/19(Mon)19:19:22 No.11176183 yall think when humans were starting to walk all 2's there was this period where like they would like bully the n----- walkin 4 limbs like "look at this f------ retard walking on all fours Imaooooooo" and they'd stone 30 KB GIF him to death or something

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Anon gets a job | /r/Greentext

ile: pepe.png (62 KB, 400x300) Anonymous 12/13/19(Fri)23:36:54 No.816169862 [Reply] >be me >jobless footfag >actually unhealthy how much feet turn me on >go to the mall with my mom cause she needs new shoes >she thinks im a good son because I go with her and help her carry stuff >actually go to look at feet >always go to this expensive women shoe shop >only rich white milfs and their cute daughters go there >spot sign that says they are looking for someone to help customers pick shoes >dreamjob.jpg >shoot my shot >get the job >literally touch and look at feet all day long >get paid for it >sometimes Id hold a foot for a while as if Im thinking which shoe would fit them better. Bring some random shoe after >they always love it >even caress their soles and compliment their feet, as if I was a foot expert >feet sommelier >dont even wash my hands after groping their soles like they were japanese s----------- in some JAV >always masturbate in the bathroom during my breaks >one day, after helping a milf with perfect feet, she asks to see my manager >f--- I got caught >fight or flight activates >she tells my manager she wanted to congratulate me on how dedicated I was to my job and how I would even put on their shoes for them, so they didnt have to bend down >crisisavoided >manager says shes happy she hired me >go masturbate in the bathroom as always >get a raise next month my life couldn't get better guys, Im living in a dream right now.
ile: pepe.png (62 KB, 400x300) Anonymous 12/13/19(Fri)23:36:54 No.816169862 [Reply] >be me >jobless footfag >actually unhealthy how much feet turn me on >go to the mall with my mom cause she needs new shoes >she thinks im a good son because I go with her and help her carry stuff >actually go to look at feet >always go to this expensive women shoe shop >only rich white milfs and their cute daughters go there >spot sign that says they are looking for someone to help customers pick shoes >dreamjob.jpg >shoot my shot >get the job >literally touch and look at feet all day long >get paid for it >sometimes Id hold a foot for a while as if Im thinking which shoe would fit them better. Bring some random shoe after >they always love it >even caress their soles and compliment their feet, as if I was a foot expert >feet sommelier >dont even wash my hands after groping their soles like they were japanese s----------- in some JAV >always masturbate in the bathroom during my breaks >one day, after helping a milf with perfect feet, she asks to see my manager >f--- I got caught >fight or flight activates >she tells my manager she wanted to congratulate me on how dedicated I was to my job and how I would even put on their shoes for them, so they didnt have to bend down >crisisavoided >manager says shes happy she hired me >go masturbate in the bathroom as always >get a raise next month my life couldn't get better guys, Im living in a dream right now.

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Anon forgets he’s on 4 chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21 (Mon)16:56:22 No.851948354 CAPE MAY POLICE COU officer.jpg 327 KB JPG >tfw you can't tell the difference between a taser and a handgun
: Anonymous 04/12/21 (Mon)16:56:22 No.851948354 CAPE MAY POLICE COU officer.jpg 327 KB JPG >tfw you can't tell the difference between a taser and a handgun

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Modern problems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)11:16:34 No.63180426 >tfw the modern world has too many laws, too many polices and too many cameras >tfw i genuinely want to go on a killing spree >tfw if i actually get to do it i will be caught way too soon 334 KB JPG >tfw i would be put on prison my whole life or get a death sentence I absolutely hate the world and want everyone to die
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)11:16:34 No.63180426 >tfw the modern world has too many laws, too many polices and too many cameras >tfw i genuinely want to go on a killing spree >tfw if i actually get to do it i will be caught way too soon 334 KB JPG >tfw i would be put on prison my whole life or get a death sentence I absolutely hate the world and want everyone to die

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Sweet smell of success | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous randomly just found gold 04/12/21(Mon)03:23:09 No.63176456 >be me >be late at night >see oneitis studying alone in a public space >smile and wave >think nothing of it >think to study myself in the public 644 KB PNG space, late at night, 2 AM >open door >her smell mixed with her perfume smell still lingers in he air >drop all my things thanking god she chose such an enclosed space >brain starts moving faster >snap the cushion right off the wooden chair >head into the bathroom >close a stall behind me >bring seat cushion up to my face >smells like her >cocaine like high on pheromones >d--- rips itself out of my pants >j------- with my face pressed into the cushion >shoot j--- like a machine gun while my buttocks and thighs are wildly wracked with spasms, eyes glaze over and I almost fall over That was the wildest orgasm l've ever had, no p--- will ever bring me to that state. I feel like my consciousness has been elevated. I feel like I could run through a f------ wall right now, if we're both around next year I'm gonna ask her out
: Anonymous randomly just found gold 04/12/21(Mon)03:23:09 No.63176456 >be me >be late at night >see oneitis studying alone in a public space >smile and wave >think nothing of it >think to study myself in the public 644 KB PNG space, late at night, 2 AM >open door >her smell mixed with her perfume smell still lingers in he air >drop all my things thanking god she chose such an enclosed space >brain starts moving faster >snap the cushion right off the wooden chair >head into the bathroom >close a stall behind me >bring seat cushion up to my face >smells like her >cocaine like high on pheromones >d--- rips itself out of my pants >j------- with my face pressed into the cushion >shoot j--- like a machine gun while my buttocks and thighs are wildly wracked with spasms, eyes glaze over and I almost fall over That was the wildest orgasm l've ever had, no p--- will ever bring me to that state. I feel like my consciousness has been elevated. I feel like I could run through a f------ wall right now, if we're both around next year I'm gonna ask her out

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