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Anon donates blood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)07:06:25 No.63123338 >Be me >Donated blood today cause I haven't in a while and its nice to do >My veins are mired during the pre screening >Doctor says the tourniquet isn't 62 KB JPG even necessary >Donate blood >Cookie.jpg >You should donate blood too
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)07:06:25 No.63123338 >Be me >Donated blood today cause I haven't in a while and its nice to do >My veins are mired during the pre screening >Doctor says the tourniquet isn't 62 KB JPG even necessary >Donate blood >Cookie.jpg >You should donate blood too

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Anon sees a female | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)02:22:22 No.63122409 >grug see female >grug like female >grug capture female >grug mount female >grug make whitewater come out >grug happy 42 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)02:22:22 No.63122409 >grug see female >grug like female >grug capture female >grug mount female >grug make whitewater come out >grug happy 42 KB JPG

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Anon acts like an asshole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)05:42:15 No.63122299 >>63122109 (OP) # >have a crush on a chick >we're sat together >decide to try and make her laugh >decide to roast my friend for laughs >say really mean s--- 42 KB JPG >she doesn't laugh >friend gets upset and leaves >lose a friend and don't gain a girl Sorry bro.
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)05:42:15 No.63122299 >>63122109 (OP) # >have a crush on a chick >we're sat together >decide to try and make her laugh >decide to roast my friend for laughs >say really mean s--- 42 KB JPG >she doesn't laugh >friend gets upset and leaves >lose a friend and don't gain a girl Sorry bro.

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anon is a master communicator | /r/Greentext

File: 121-1217997_7019640-wojak(.).jpg (55 KB, 320x320) O Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)01:24:25 No.851622943 >be me >15 at the time >see a 10/10 qt >i say hi > she doesn't respond >i say hi again >she ignores me >i kept saying hi to her until her father came and told me that she's deaf why am i like this
File: 121-1217997_7019640-wojak(.).jpg (55 KB, 320x320) O Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)01:24:25 No.851622943 >be me >15 at the time >see a 10/10 qt >i say hi > she doesn't respond >i say hi again >she ignores me >i kept saying hi to her until her father came and told me that she's deaf why am i like this

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Anon considers joining the pack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: MOqSTCCC)E 01/17/17(Tue)11:33:57 No.107429717 >Start dating girl >Find out she's a f------ furry >But she's a solid 8.5/10 >Furry community is actually not that bad, but once they don their outfits I gag 298 KB JPG a little >Find out they want me to go through a trial to join their little group of friends which involves fist fighting with 15 people to gain "Alpha" status in the pack >At the end, besides Alpha status, one of the girls can be chosen for a sexual reward (not going to happen anyway because I'm dating one of these f------ furries) >Find out they've beat the f--- out of people on multiple occasions When in the f--- did furries start turning into gangs? I mean, I guess I wouldn't mind socking a couple of these arards, but still, what the f---? Is my willingness to even participate the first sign of mental illness?
: Anonymous (ID: MOqSTCCC)E 01/17/17(Tue)11:33:57 No.107429717 >Start dating girl >Find out she's a f------ furry >But she's a solid 8.5/10 >Furry community is actually not that bad, but once they don their outfits I gag 298 KB JPG a little >Find out they want me to go through a trial to join their little group of friends which involves fist fighting with 15 people to gain "Alpha" status in the pack >At the end, besides Alpha status, one of the girls can be chosen for a sexual reward (not going to happen anyway because I'm dating one of these f------ furries) >Find out they've beat the f--- out of people on multiple occasions When in the f--- did furries start turning into gangs? I mean, I guess I wouldn't mind socking a couple of these arards, but still, what the f---? Is my willingness to even participate the first sign of mental illness?

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Grognon learns about reality | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)13:04:08 No.7041203 >cave painting girl will be never real it not fair 3 KB PNG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)13:06:23 No.7041213 grog is f-- >>7041222 # : Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)13:07:53 No.7041222 >>7041213 # grog not!!
: Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)13:04:08 No.7041203 >cave painting girl will be never real it not fair 3 KB PNG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)13:06:23 No.7041213 grog is f-- >>7041222 # : Anonymous 08/19/18(Sun)13:07:53 No.7041222 >>7041213 # grog not!!

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Anon is cool | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:02:56 No.63114430 ► >>63114467 >>63114730 >ffw never been rejected because i never asked a girl out i may be ugly as f--- but at least i have the self awareness to not humiliate myself
O Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:02:56 No.63114430 ► >>63114467 >>63114730 >ffw never been rejected because i never asked a girl out i may be ugly as f--- but at least i have the self awareness to not humiliate myself

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Anon buys a slow cooker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:44:30 No.60826453 >>60826232 # >choose a recipe from thousands of slow cooker recipes that have been tested and refined 104 KB JPG >easily prep it and start cooking, then leave for work >come home to the beautiful smell of a freshly baked meal >at that moment you truly know you are home >you step inside the kitchen and slow cooker starts talking >"how's your day been, anon? anything interesting happened?" >same old my love, I missed you >"well I made you this, just the way you like it. we shouldn't let it go cold" >smells beautiful, I love you honey >"I love you more, anon" >gently touch the button and give it a kiss >"anooon, let's just eat first ok?" >give it a one last gentle slap on the back yeah definitely get one >>60826532 # >>60827301 # >>60827304 # >>60827349 #
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:44:30 No.60826453 >>60826232 # >choose a recipe from thousands of slow cooker recipes that have been tested and refined 104 KB JPG >easily prep it and start cooking, then leave for work >come home to the beautiful smell of a freshly baked meal >at that moment you truly know you are home >you step inside the kitchen and slow cooker starts talking >"how's your day been, anon? anything interesting happened?" >same old my love, I missed you >"well I made you this, just the way you like it. we shouldn't let it go cold" >smells beautiful, I love you honey >"I love you more, anon" >gently touch the button and give it a kiss >"anooon, let's just eat first ok?" >give it a one last gentle slap on the back yeah definitely get one >>60826532 # >>60827301 # >>60827304 # >>60827349 #

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Anon feels the /pol/ effect | /r/Greentext

1/2 Gmb3odXC (OP) · 51m (4/8 17:15) · 315770141 38 Re · 12 Img · PNG · 7KB · (300 × 168) 21 Replies >be leftist normie >go to /pol/ >think everyone is racist, antisemite >some threads are interesting/funny, so i lurk sometimes >few months go by, start feeling a distrust of jews >start worrying about my ethnicity being wiped out >my country seems more insufferable for every day that passes what the f--- did you do to me, /pol/? is this what being red-pilled feels like? •..
1/2 Gmb3odXC (OP) · 51m (4/8 17:15) · 315770141 38 Re · 12 Img · PNG · 7KB · (300 × 168) 21 Replies >be leftist normie >go to /pol/ >think everyone is racist, antisemite >some threads are interesting/funny, so i lurk sometimes >few months go by, start feeling a distrust of jews >start worrying about my ethnicity being wiped out >my country seems more insufferable for every day that passes what the f--- did you do to me, /pol/? is this what being red-pilled feels like? •..

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anon is a trickster | /r/Greentext

trolling stories ill start >be me >bored as f--- >idea.png >start a rumor that kim jong 131 KB PNG un died on some s------- Korean forum >they believe it >news outlet picks up on it and reports it to the masses >f--- believe it >everyone convinced kim jong un is dead >CNN does a story on it >kim cuts a ribbon at random place and confirms hes alive >mfw when everyone realizes theyve been played and CNN looks retarded for reporting fake news
trolling stories ill start >be me >bored as f--- >idea.png >start a rumor that kim jong 131 KB PNG un died on some s------- Korean forum >they believe it >news outlet picks up on it and reports it to the masses >f--- believe it >everyone convinced kim jong un is dead >CNN does a story on it >kim cuts a ribbon at random place and confirms hes alive >mfw when everyone realizes theyve been played and CNN looks retarded for reporting fake news

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Anon doesn’t like fat girls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)13:24:13 No.851614975 >be me >23 >been f------ this fat blonde because covid has made me desperate >she has started to introduce me to people as her boyfriend 223 KB JPG Is it time to break up? I'm so busy with work and all places are closed, so breaking up probably means I won't be able to find p---- for a while : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)13:25:29 No.851615045 cute fat girls are the best. stop being such a f-----
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)13:24:13 No.851614975 >be me >23 >been f------ this fat blonde because covid has made me desperate >she has started to introduce me to people as her boyfriend 223 KB JPG Is it time to break up? I'm so busy with work and all places are closed, so breaking up probably means I won't be able to find p---- for a while : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)13:25:29 No.851615045 cute fat girls are the best. stop being such a f-----

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Red pill, blue pill, new pill | /r/Greentext

Ir9k/ Anonymous mom found out my peepee proble(...) 04/08/21(Thu)22:31:41 No.63121036 >be me >very nervous >crippling anxiety makes it impossible to keep an erection infront of a woman >go to the psychiatrist >she gives me tadalafil pills (just 9 KB JPG better viagra) >save them >forget where i saved them >look around for an hour, no clue where they are >think mom saved them >ask mom where did she put the "orange pills" >"what are those orange pills for anon"? >"I.. Uh... I uh uhm have you seen them or not?" >"ANON WHAT ARE THOSE PILLS FOR" >Almost crying from shame, say the truth >"... So have you seen them?" >"No" >Give it one more shot before giving up >look under my bed >The pills are there I just. I can't. Maybe I shouldn't be able to reproduce, being this retarded
Ir9k/ Anonymous mom found out my peepee proble(...) 04/08/21(Thu)22:31:41 No.63121036 >be me >very nervous >crippling anxiety makes it impossible to keep an erection infront of a woman >go to the psychiatrist >she gives me tadalafil pills (just 9 KB JPG better viagra) >save them >forget where i saved them >look around for an hour, no clue where they are >think mom saved them >ask mom where did she put the "orange pills" >"what are those orange pills for anon"? >"I.. Uh... I uh uhm have you seen them or not?" >"ANON WHAT ARE THOSE PILLS FOR" >Almost crying from shame, say the truth >"... So have you seen them?" >"No" >Give it one more shot before giving up >look under my bed >The pills are there I just. I can't. Maybe I shouldn't be able to reproduce, being this retarded

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Anon watches Goodfellas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)16:46:05 No.851616239 >Be me >Live in Florida >Not many people in my county have southern accents, but I do >girls seemed to really like it for some reason 150 KB JPG Then one day I decide to watch Goodfellas >really like it because I'm Italian (last name Fiorentino) and think being Italian is cool >Start repeating funny lines from the movie in a New York accent >It becomes my favorite movie >start watching other mob movies like Casino (sucked), Irishman (great story and movie but really long), Godfather part 2 (best in the trilogy by far), etc >start modeling my personality around these people >lose my accent >accidentally slip in to a New York accent at random times >begin wearing Hawaiian shirts and cargo shorts >begin smoking cigars >talk in a New York accent al the time >go from 180lbs to 250 eating so much chicken parm and pinwheels >girls no longer interested in me Why do I do this to myself /b/? Is there any way to go back to normal?
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)16:46:05 No.851616239 >Be me >Live in Florida >Not many people in my county have southern accents, but I do >girls seemed to really like it for some reason 150 KB JPG Then one day I decide to watch Goodfellas >really like it because I'm Italian (last name Fiorentino) and think being Italian is cool >Start repeating funny lines from the movie in a New York accent >It becomes my favorite movie >start watching other mob movies like Casino (sucked), Irishman (great story and movie but really long), Godfather part 2 (best in the trilogy by far), etc >start modeling my personality around these people >lose my accent >accidentally slip in to a New York accent at random times >begin wearing Hawaiian shirts and cargo shorts >begin smoking cigars >talk in a New York accent al the time >go from 180lbs to 250 eating so much chicken parm and pinwheels >girls no longer interested in me Why do I do this to myself /b/? Is there any way to go back to normal?

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Anon meows. | /r/Greentext

11/01/18(Thu)22:46:02 No.783841039 女 BOOPA B6FOED22-1851-4A0C-921E-FFF2E8DBC242.png 238 KB PNG >walking down sidewalk >cat in neighbors window >meow at it >it meows back >12:45 AM >still happy about it How was your day anons
11/01/18(Thu)22:46:02 No.783841039 女 BOOPA B6FOED22-1851-4A0C-921E-FFF2E8DBC242.png 238 KB PNG >walking down sidewalk >cat in neighbors window >meow at it >it meows back >12:45 AM >still happy about it How was your day anons

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/r9k/ fights back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)10:58:10 No.63111457 >an army of anons with GIRLFRIENDS and fulfilling LIVES are invading the /r9k/ fort! Quick anon, to the walls! Whats your class & special skill? 808 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)15:23:41 No.63113619 >>63111457 (OP) # >Class: Level 94 Virgin >Skill: "Femanon here" illusion spell 254 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)15:25:20 No.63113635 >class: bard >skill: be useless : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)16:54:03 No.63114676 class: worthless male >skill: I can be very stubborn in the face of adversity even though im useless and have no chance of being successful 171 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)10:58:10 No.63111457 >an army of anons with GIRLFRIENDS and fulfilling LIVES are invading the /r9k/ fort! Quick anon, to the walls! Whats your class & special skill? 808 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)15:23:41 No.63113619 >>63111457 (OP) # >Class: Level 94 Virgin >Skill: "Femanon here" illusion spell 254 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)15:25:20 No.63113635 >class: bard >skill: be useless : Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)16:54:03 No.63114676 class: worthless male >skill: I can be very stubborn in the face of adversity even though im useless and have no chance of being successful 171 KB JPG

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Anon is getting old | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:17:18 No.63117302 >read article on news with statistics 1990 was 67 >your age group no longer is the youngest listed years ago. 55 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:17:18 No.63117302 >read article on news with statistics 1990 was 67 >your age group no longer is the youngest listed years ago. 55 KB PNG

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Hook and ladder | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)10:39:58 No.63114509 File: 2153sm.jpg (56 KB, 500x500) WORK NIGHT SHIFT >On tinder >Girl has "don't waste my time" in her bio >Think its code for escort because she matched with me >Meet up for coffee, start talking hiking >Odd she wants to hike with a client, probably getting a feel for it >Really like her, wonder if its some tactic >Back at my place try to ask price EXCUSE NOT TO ANSWER PHONE EVER >She finally gets what im trying to say >I try to back peddle because in my single mindedness I thought she just wanted money >She gets angry and leaves with tears in her eyes Most successful date ever and its because I thought she was a w----
O Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)10:39:58 No.63114509 File: 2153sm.jpg (56 KB, 500x500) WORK NIGHT SHIFT >On tinder >Girl has "don't waste my time" in her bio >Think its code for escort because she matched with me >Meet up for coffee, start talking hiking >Odd she wants to hike with a client, probably getting a feel for it >Really like her, wonder if its some tactic >Back at my place try to ask price EXCUSE NOT TO ANSWER PHONE EVER >She finally gets what im trying to say >I try to back peddle because in my single mindedness I thought she just wanted money >She gets angry and leaves with tears in her eyes Most successful date ever and its because I thought she was a w----

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Anon likes chicken | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Chicken man 04/08/21(Thu)23:57:52 No.63119648 >be me >main chicken related villain of popular tv show Breaking Bad >discover 4chan >never done this, but decide to write a funny greentext >anon gus 1.36 MB JPG
: Anonymous Chicken man 04/08/21(Thu)23:57:52 No.63119648 >be me >main chicken related villain of popular tv show Breaking Bad >discover 4chan >never done this, but decide to write a funny greentext >anon gus 1.36 MB JPG

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Anons autism kills doge | /r/Greentext

>>851607858 (OP) # >be me >huge autist >rode on my dog's back as a kid >not too hard so i don't kill him >felt like a cowboy 8 KB JPG >10 years later >he's old >he's arthritis ridden >his hind legs don't work anymore >he falls down all the time >mfw it's basically my fault >mfw my parents decide to put him down >another 10 years later >post about it on this dumbass board >first time I've told anyone >mfw basically murdered my dog and no one knows >851608722 # >>851610240 # >>851610720 # >>851611547 # >851612244 # >>851614401 # >>851615602 # >>851617265 # E Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:49:36 No.8516087: >>851608516 # >10 years later F------ retard, he was just an old dog. Stop being so f------ retarded, dogs having issues with joints is common as f---, especially in older dogs. Now f--- off back to highschool
>>851607858 (OP) # >be me >huge autist >rode on my dog's back as a kid >not too hard so i don't kill him >felt like a cowboy 8 KB JPG >10 years later >he's old >he's arthritis ridden >his hind legs don't work anymore >he falls down all the time >mfw it's basically my fault >mfw my parents decide to put him down >another 10 years later >post about it on this dumbass board >first time I've told anyone >mfw basically murdered my dog and no one knows >851608722 # >>851610240 # >>851610720 # >>851611547 # >851612244 # >>851614401 # >>851615602 # >>851617265 # E Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)20:49:36 No.8516087: >>851608516 # >10 years later F------ retard, he was just an old dog. Stop being so f------ retarded, dogs having issues with joints is common as f---, especially in older dogs. Now f--- off back to highschool

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Anon said 4 words | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)13:29:47 No.851603028 f--- reddit dude >read greentext about anon ® < O shoving and electric toothbrush up his ass and pretending its a period > comment "anon is a t-----" >get banned for 3 days Emitate Eurosport o Cristiano Ronaldo 'admits he's fed up with nig... 539 KB PNG 3 f------ words meanwhile i see actual f------ pedophiles admiting to it and jackshit happens but i say 3 f------ words and get banned
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)13:29:47 No.851603028 f--- reddit dude >read greentext about anon ® < O shoving and electric toothbrush up his ass and pretending its a period > comment "anon is a t-----" >get banned for 3 days Emitate Eurosport o Cristiano Ronaldo 'admits he's fed up with nig... 539 KB PNG 3 f------ words meanwhile i see actual f------ pedophiles admiting to it and jackshit happens but i say 3 f------ words and get banned

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