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Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)15:08:33 No.869776799 >be me >11 >on a school trip, ice skating >younger students were with us so the teachers said everyone assigns themselves to one younger kid to teach them ice skating iminchargenow.png 204 KB PNG >go talk to one girl >looked about 6 years old >we start ice skating and i teach her a bit of stuff >i am behind her as we slide with quite the high speed >she trips and falls over shitshitshitshit.png >am too fast to dodge so i try to look cool by lifting one leg and sliding past her with the leg over her >get stuck and fall over her >lie behind her, wondering what i hit >blood starts soaking into the ice below her i rammed the sharp tip of my ice skating shoes right into her f------ head >she's unconscious and i start freaking out >call for help >next moment i remember the ambulance is here >whole ice skating field gets closed down and all i see is the ambulance treating her as she's lying on the ice >am in complete shock >haunts me to this day All i remember is someone coming over to me and telling me that she is going to be fine, but i don't know if that was actually the case or if that was just to ease my panic a little bit
: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)15:08:33 No.869776799 >be me >11 >on a school trip, ice skating >younger students were with us so the teachers said everyone assigns themselves to one younger kid to teach them ice skating iminchargenow.png 204 KB PNG >go talk to one girl >looked about 6 years old >we start ice skating and i teach her a bit of stuff >i am behind her as we slide with quite the high speed >she trips and falls over shitshitshitshit.png >am too fast to dodge so i try to look cool by lifting one leg and sliding past her with the leg over her >get stuck and fall over her >lie behind her, wondering what i hit >blood starts soaking into the ice below her i rammed the sharp tip of my ice skating shoes right into her f------ head >she's unconscious and i start freaking out >call for help >next moment i remember the ambulance is here >whole ice skating field gets closed down and all i see is the ambulance treating her as she's lying on the ice >am in complete shock >haunts me to this day All i remember is someone coming over to me and telling me that she is going to be fine, but i don't know if that was actually the case or if that was just to ease my panic a little bit

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Nad i thought my name was bad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 804835787 3 min. ago >be born >one shot at life >live in sweden >so far so good >parents name you svenjamin and thats where it goes to s--- 15.7 kB JPG REPLY
Anonymous | 804835787 3 min. ago >be born >one shot at life >live in sweden >so far so good >parents name you svenjamin and thats where it goes to s--- 15.7 kB JPG REPLY

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Anons friend orders tendies | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)15:05:58 No.66806060 Tendies >Go to Denny's with friend >He orders the tendies >Half hour passes >Four year old child in the booth behind us orders the "chicken tenders" 58 KB JPG >Mention to friend that the child didn't say tendies He's seething
I Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)15:05:58 No.66806060 Tendies >Go to Denny's with friend >He orders the tendies >Half hour passes >Four year old child in the booth behind us orders the "chicken tenders" 58 KB JPG >Mention to friend that the child didn't say tendies He's seething

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Broke? Cope. | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:55:31 No.156851335 Paddington @paddingtonposts · 1d Walmart is adding some interesting new signs in the baby formula aisle Show this thread Security cameras in use. 15 Pack 8 Can't afford to feed your kids? Cope. F70A9FD6-A2F1-4B26-9497-5B1E013B8666.jpg 123 KB JPG >tfw these are real signs here now
E Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:55:31 No.156851335 Paddington @paddingtonposts · 1d Walmart is adding some interesting new signs in the baby formula aisle Show this thread Security cameras in use. 15 Pack 8 Can't afford to feed your kids? Cope. F70A9FD6-A2F1-4B26-9497-5B1E013B8666.jpg 123 KB JPG >tfw these are real signs here now

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Anon doesn't want to be a weeb anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)23:21:09 No.66807627 >be me >huge weeb >out of anime to watch and bored out of my mind >youtube recomened meThe Call of Chtulu's audiobook >it has a slow start but I decided to keep listening to it because I 17 KB PNG have nothing better to do >wft halfway through it and it has a better mystery than any anime >story end >litteraly coolest s--- ever >suddenly I start crying >tfw i realized that not only is anime is garbage and the normies were right but I have wasted half of my life being addicted to it
: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)23:21:09 No.66807627 >be me >huge weeb >out of anime to watch and bored out of my mind >youtube recomened meThe Call of Chtulu's audiobook >it has a slow start but I decided to keep listening to it because I 17 KB PNG have nothing better to do >wft halfway through it and it has a better mystery than any anime >story end >litteraly coolest s--- ever >suddenly I start crying >tfw i realized that not only is anime is garbage and the normies were right but I have wasted half of my life being addicted to it

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Anon likes pistachios | /r/Greentext

>be me >high school student >no time for breakfast, Wenderful Roasted & Salted gotta get to school >wear cammo cargo pants >eating pistachios on the way to school, filling my 30 KB JPG pockets with pistachio shells >get into class, put pistachios in backpack >jock c--- walks in, stare a him intently >this.is.where.l.f-----.up.jpg >jock sits behind me >later in class, get hungry, reach for pistachios. >pistachio shells audiably ding around in my cammo pants pocket >reach into backpack, grabbing for dark black wonderful pistachios bag >jock thinks shells are shells, pistachios are gun >screams EVERYBODY DOWN >f------ jumps on me >grabs the "gun", he's pointing a bag of pistachios at me >pistachio shells falling out of pocket >hwf PISTACHIOS
>be me >high school student >no time for breakfast, Wenderful Roasted & Salted gotta get to school >wear cammo cargo pants >eating pistachios on the way to school, filling my 30 KB JPG pockets with pistachio shells >get into class, put pistachios in backpack >jock c--- walks in, stare a him intently >this.is.where.l.f-----.up.jpg >jock sits behind me >later in class, get hungry, reach for pistachios. >pistachio shells audiably ding around in my cammo pants pocket >reach into backpack, grabbing for dark black wonderful pistachios bag >jock thinks shells are shells, pistachios are gun >screams EVERYBODY DOWN >f------ jumps on me >grabs the "gun", he's pointing a bag of pistachios at me >pistachio shells falling out of pocket >hwf PISTACHIOS

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Anon has a gamer moment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 48906634 36 min. ago >be me >be 15 >hear that only 14yo girls say oof >say oof >im basically a girl now >j------- >say oof again which means that im a guy again since the two oofs cancel each other out 123.2 kB JPG >basically got jacked off by a girl >basically had sex See ya later virgins REPLY Anonymous | 48906721 28 min. ago >be 15 Thanks for letting me know right at the beginning that this was trash
Anonymous | 48906634 36 min. ago >be me >be 15 >hear that only 14yo girls say oof >say oof >im basically a girl now >j------- >say oof again which means that im a guy again since the two oofs cancel each other out 123.2 kB JPG >basically got jacked off by a girl >basically had sex See ya later virgins REPLY Anonymous | 48906721 28 min. ago >be 15 Thanks for letting me know right at the beginning that this was trash

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Anon makes mad cash | /r/Greentext


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Anon is disliked | /r/Greentext


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Anon is insane | /r/Greentext

1537264774886.jpg 11 KB JPG >Order fries with no salt, causing the staff to cook a new batch >Put on salt myself Everything in this world is part of my game.
1537264774886.jpg 11 KB JPG >Order fries with no salt, causing the staff to cook a new batch >Put on salt myself Everything in this world is part of my game.

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Anon starts humming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 8EHHJ892 11/14/15(Sat)08:14:19 No.55704068 >Watch several ISIS videos because I love gore >The song that plays in them gets stuck in my head >Start humming it to myself 96 KB PNG at work >Muslim coworker puts his hands on my shoulder and says "soon, brother. soon"
: Anonymous (ID: 8EHHJ892 11/14/15(Sat)08:14:19 No.55704068 >Watch several ISIS videos because I love gore >The song that plays in them gets stuck in my head >Start humming it to myself 96 KB PNG at work >Muslim coworker puts his hands on my shoulder and says "soon, brother. soon"

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anon gets cucked by his autism | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)22:12:35 No.869763060 >be me >17 y/o working at Subway >Store is open later than usual because people keep coming in >Last lady inside is very nice to me, but I'm just trying to stay awake >Before she leaves, she stops for a moment, and turns around, and glances at 70 KB PNG my name tag. >"Excuse me, Anon?" >"Yeah?" >"I just wanted to say that I think that you're super cute." >"Thank you ma'am, have a nice day." >Grab the keys to lock the door when I realize what had just transpired. >Woman drives away forever. >Mfw 3 Replies View Thread
| Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)22:12:35 No.869763060 >be me >17 y/o working at Subway >Store is open later than usual because people keep coming in >Last lady inside is very nice to me, but I'm just trying to stay awake >Before she leaves, she stops for a moment, and turns around, and glances at 70 KB PNG my name tag. >"Excuse me, Anon?" >"Yeah?" >"I just wanted to say that I think that you're super cute." >"Thank you ma'am, have a nice day." >Grab the keys to lock the door when I realize what had just transpired. >Woman drives away forever. >Mfw 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon and Beavers | /r/Greentext

01/01/22(Sat)01:16:29 No.14176512 I MUST BUILD A DAM. WINTER APROACHES. WE MUST FLY SOUTH SOON. 1 AM ALIVE. I MUST FIND AN OCEAN ??? I MUST UNDERMINE MY HOST NATION c4a.png 264 KB PNG Why do they do this? Is it because of their genetics, or is it because of their culture? : Anonymous (ID: DN983wve)[-1 01/01/22(Sat)01:21:42 No.14176527 >>14176512 (OP) # i also always wondered why beavers hate flowing water so much f------ retards
01/01/22(Sat)01:16:29 No.14176512 I MUST BUILD A DAM. WINTER APROACHES. WE MUST FLY SOUTH SOON. 1 AM ALIVE. I MUST FIND AN OCEAN ??? I MUST UNDERMINE MY HOST NATION c4a.png 264 KB PNG Why do they do this? Is it because of their genetics, or is it because of their culture? : Anonymous (ID: DN983wve)[-1 01/01/22(Sat)01:21:42 No.14176527 >>14176512 (OP) # i also always wondered why beavers hate flowing water so much f------ retards

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Anon went to school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)12:26:14 No.66801881 >go to school for god knows how many years >basically only thing I remember is how to read and write Resources of society were well spent on me. 540 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)12:26:14 No.66801881 >go to school for god knows how many years >basically only thing I remember is how to read and write Resources of society were well spent on me. 540 KB JPG

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Anon makes fun of russians | /r/Greentext


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Anon mass debates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)05:27:27 No.869743434 >be me >16 >mom works late and picks me up late from school >get bored waiting for her >do all kinds of after school 117 KB JPG activities so im not bored >don't have anything to do on Friday >only thing is debating >fuckit.jpeg >sign up >realize I'm actually quite good >debating team moves on to regional competition >over 500 people are watching me debate >win regional >mfw I'm a mass debater I better see this on r/greentext
: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)05:27:27 No.869743434 >be me >16 >mom works late and picks me up late from school >get bored waiting for her >do all kinds of after school 117 KB JPG activities so im not bored >don't have anything to do on Friday >only thing is debating >fuckit.jpeg >sign up >realize I'm actually quite good >debating team moves on to regional competition >over 500 people are watching me debate >win regional >mfw I'm a mass debater I better see this on r/greentext

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Anon gets a new gaming buddy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/30/21(Thu)09:13:05 No.572761537 >Be playing vidya >Enter co op game >Black guy has joined >He's new to the game >Doesn't realise his mic is on and is recording the whole room. >He's low on health >He doesn't know how to heal. 3 KB JPG >l heal him for him >"Thank you!" >"That's so nice" >Later in the game I get downed >"I'm coming my n----" >Comes to my rescue >"I got you bro" >Finish the mission >"Yo G you're ma real n----. Respect" Mfw feels good man
: Anonymous 09/30/21(Thu)09:13:05 No.572761537 >Be playing vidya >Enter co op game >Black guy has joined >He's new to the game >Doesn't realise his mic is on and is recording the whole room. >He's low on health >He doesn't know how to heal. 3 KB JPG >l heal him for him >"Thank you!" >"That's so nice" >Later in the game I get downed >"I'm coming my n----" >Comes to my rescue >"I got you bro" >Finish the mission >"Yo G you're ma real n----. Respect" Mfw feels good man

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Anon will soon be single | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)11:51:12 No.66801669 Tfw my girlfriend is at a new year's party with her ex and I'm home alone and she isn't responding to my texts I trust her but I'm still anxious I hope she just fell asleep 15 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)11:51:12 No.66801669 Tfw my girlfriend is at a new year's party with her ex and I'm home alone and she isn't responding to my texts I trust her but I'm still anxious I hope she just fell asleep 15 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is alcoholic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)11:52:36 No.66801683 >can now drink almost a bottle of scotch with zero hangover achievement...unlocked? 63 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)11:54:44 No.66801703 No, that's just means your liver is f-----. >>66801708 #
: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)11:52:36 No.66801683 >can now drink almost a bottle of scotch with zero hangover achievement...unlocked? 63 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)11:54:44 No.66801703 No, that's just means your liver is f-----. >>66801708 #

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Anon is happy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/13/18(Tue)00:30:04 No.784764286 >be me >be a nervous wreck when it comes to doing simple s--- >choke up and stutter when making orders and end up looking like an autist 9 KB JPG >be today >went to pick up some groceries and have to pass by the deli aisle or whatever to get some ham >ring buzzer and dude comes in to take order >confidence.jpeg >ask for ham with a clear and loud voice >guy notices and says "ay you finally start talking like a man! Good job!" >begins to tell me some stories as he preps my s--- >tells me to do well in school and to work hard >say thank you and leave Idk why but that s--- put me in the best f------ mood. How's you guys' day going?
: Anonymous 11/13/18(Tue)00:30:04 No.784764286 >be me >be a nervous wreck when it comes to doing simple s--- >choke up and stutter when making orders and end up looking like an autist 9 KB JPG >be today >went to pick up some groceries and have to pass by the deli aisle or whatever to get some ham >ring buzzer and dude comes in to take order >confidence.jpeg >ask for ham with a clear and loud voice >guy notices and says "ay you finally start talking like a man! Good job!" >begins to tell me some stories as he preps my s--- >tells me to do well in school and to work hard >say thank you and leave Idk why but that s--- put me in the best f------ mood. How's you guys' day going?

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