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Anon doesn’t get any females | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)11:05:41 No.65679933 >be female >can literally walk up to 90% males and just ask for sex and they will get it >meanwhile guys can simp for bitches for a year they still wont f--- them Women really do live life on ez mode Rresatero 74 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)11:05:41 No.65679933 >be female >can literally walk up to 90% males and just ask for sex and they will get it >meanwhile guys can simp for bitches for a year they still wont f--- them Women really do live life on ez mode Rresatero 74 KB JPG

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Cold approach | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)14:34:23 No.65671748 ME AFTER > be me > Get really depressed one day > reply to a email in university telling them Im depressed. > send RA to my room THINKING ONCE 1ITIME) > its a female that hits all my boxes > try to look away as much as possible while I tell her Im not gonna kill myself 333 KB JPG I hate myself so much guys
: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)14:34:23 No.65671748 ME AFTER > be me > Get really depressed one day > reply to a email in university telling them Im depressed. > send RA to my room THINKING ONCE 1ITIME) > its a female that hits all my boxes > try to look away as much as possible while I tell her Im not gonna kill myself 333 KB JPG I hate myself so much guys

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Anon is an Ass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Autistic Moments 03/24/21 (Wed)15:43:04 No.62897044 Can we have a nice old fashioned thread of weird/cringeworthy s--- you did when you were younger? >be me, 15 >in school, it's lunchtime, crowds of 279 KB PNG people about >l'd played assassins creed the night before and done that thing where you hold a button to quickly move through crowds >walk into a group of guys in my year >do the animation of pushing through >put my hand on one of their backs and push gently >immediately he turns around >"what's this guys problem?" >everyone laughs >quietly walk away with a stern look on my face, just like an assassin
: Anonymous Autistic Moments 03/24/21 (Wed)15:43:04 No.62897044 Can we have a nice old fashioned thread of weird/cringeworthy s--- you did when you were younger? >be me, 15 >in school, it's lunchtime, crowds of 279 KB PNG people about >l'd played assassins creed the night before and done that thing where you hold a button to quickly move through crowds >walk into a group of guys in my year >do the animation of pushing through >put my hand on one of their backs and push gently >immediately he turns around >"what's this guys problem?" >everyone laughs >quietly walk away with a stern look on my face, just like an assassin

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Anon is a menace to society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)14:28:43 No.864617163 >be 16yo troll >lost a lot of friendships because of my troll nature >2 years ago, Fortnite became really popular >get a troll idea >make a flyer with an invitation to a 200 KB PNG fortnite tournament with prize money >lt is easy, just click on this link! >the link actually leads to b--------- p--- >i give the flyers to 12 year olds Pic related
: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)14:28:43 No.864617163 >be 16yo troll >lost a lot of friendships because of my troll nature >2 years ago, Fortnite became really popular >get a troll idea >make a flyer with an invitation to a 200 KB PNG fortnite tournament with prize money >lt is easy, just click on this link! >the link actually leads to b--------- p--- >i give the flyers to 12 year olds Pic related

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

>Be me sick & depressed loser >Play among us >Name myself "Der Führer" >shitsandgiggles.jpeg >Go to Euro f-- servers >Join game 11 KB GIF >Players see name >Everyone says "heil hitler" >mfw when playing with actual nazis >Random f-- calls me sus >Everyone votes him out >Everyone says "heil" >Thirdreich.mp4 >Emergency meetings left and right >Purging un loyal players >Players say "what do you think my führer" >"Take him to ze camp" >mfw when I'm actually important in life >Players say "heil" every meeting >No heil = sus >Horrified I turned game into nazi germany >shitmypants.zip >Imposter sent to camp >Game finishes >Decide that's enough games >Become cured >No longer sick & depressed
>Be me sick & depressed loser >Play among us >Name myself "Der Führer" >shitsandgiggles.jpeg >Go to Euro f-- servers >Join game 11 KB GIF >Players see name >Everyone says "heil hitler" >mfw when playing with actual nazis >Random f-- calls me sus >Everyone votes him out >Everyone says "heil" >Thirdreich.mp4 >Emergency meetings left and right >Purging un loyal players >Players say "what do you think my führer" >"Take him to ze camp" >mfw when I'm actually important in life >Players say "heil" every meeting >No heil = sus >Horrified I turned game into nazi germany >shitmypants.zip >Imposter sent to camp >Game finishes >Decide that's enough games >Become cured >No longer sick & depressed

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Anon performs a routine checkup. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)02:14:13 No.65680030 TheQuartering OTheQiarterine >Be me My Doctor asked me today if wanted the flu shot. >Doctor My reply: The flu is still a THING?!?! >Unhealthy 5ft tall 400lb manbeast comes in for checkup >Will not shut up about how SJWS infiltrated his games and movies >After telling him about his low T count and type 2 diabetes I ask if he'd like a flu shot She laughed. I politely declined as I always do but this time with a quip about how only 11 people got it in all of 2020 worldwide she did not laugh 4:30 PM 06 Cet 21 Twiter Wet App 75 KB JPG >he makes a fuss and high pitch shrieks "THE FLU IS STILL A THING!?" >Uncomfortably laugh to humor him and get him out the door faster >he cracks a "joke" about only a few people having it in 2020 >couldn't laugh because of how unfunny it was >he looks smug, like he just owned the libs yet again >he pees on my floor >leaves
: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)02:14:13 No.65680030 TheQuartering OTheQiarterine >Be me My Doctor asked me today if wanted the flu shot. >Doctor My reply: The flu is still a THING?!?! >Unhealthy 5ft tall 400lb manbeast comes in for checkup >Will not shut up about how SJWS infiltrated his games and movies >After telling him about his low T count and type 2 diabetes I ask if he'd like a flu shot She laughed. I politely declined as I always do but this time with a quip about how only 11 people got it in all of 2020 worldwide she did not laugh 4:30 PM 06 Cet 21 Twiter Wet App 75 KB JPG >he makes a fuss and high pitch shrieks "THE FLU IS STILL A THING!?" >Uncomfortably laugh to humor him and get him out the door faster >he cracks a "joke" about only a few people having it in 2020 >couldn't laugh because of how unfunny it was >he looks smug, like he just owned the libs yet again >he pees on my floor >leaves

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Anon realizes he is a beta provider | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 6sQDVTGa 10/08/21(Fri)04:58:30 No.41665243 COHOL 200 PROOF FCA45871-B85F-4439-9F09-342C5059E4F7.jpg 694 KB JPG >gf gives me her iCloud to transfer our engagement photos and cute s--- bc I'm the tech geek > Over 20k pics of s--- >mostly memes and college stuff >folder called "him" >oh no >look inside >dozens of videos and photos of her with her ex >in the videos he f---- her like an animal >choking, BDSM, ropes, throatfucking, a---, etc.. >mfw I shut the laptop >Mfw she's always told me she's just not "a sexual person >l've had starfish sex with a woman I bought a house for meanwhile her FWB who looked like Vinnie hacker was making her make noises like a cat
: Anonymous (ID: 6sQDVTGa 10/08/21(Fri)04:58:30 No.41665243 COHOL 200 PROOF FCA45871-B85F-4439-9F09-342C5059E4F7.jpg 694 KB JPG >gf gives me her iCloud to transfer our engagement photos and cute s--- bc I'm the tech geek > Over 20k pics of s--- >mostly memes and college stuff >folder called "him" >oh no >look inside >dozens of videos and photos of her with her ex >in the videos he f---- her like an animal >choking, BDSM, ropes, throatfucking, a---, etc.. >mfw I shut the laptop >Mfw she's always told me she's just not "a sexual person >l've had starfish sex with a woman I bought a house for meanwhile her FWB who looked like Vinnie hacker was making her make noises like a cat

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Anon's hero disappoints him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)13:05:57 No.63835482 >3 years ago >I was a flaming fat f-----, 220 lbs 5'8 >Decide to man up and go to the gym >Get nervous as s---, people are chuckling at me >Chad sees me, offers to help out 7 KB JPG >Basically becomes my mentor >Start making gains >Fast forward to now >Life's going great, have had a relationship >Encounter Gymchad in a diner >He's accompanied by this f------ bouncing ball of a kid, looks like picrel >Disgusting little s--- is devouring a burger like the Apple of Eden >Ask him who the kid is. >"Oh haha Anon that's my son." The f---? How does a Chad like that raise this f------ gremlin? I've honestly never been more disappointed in someone like this
: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)13:05:57 No.63835482 >3 years ago >I was a flaming fat f-----, 220 lbs 5'8 >Decide to man up and go to the gym >Get nervous as s---, people are chuckling at me >Chad sees me, offers to help out 7 KB JPG >Basically becomes my mentor >Start making gains >Fast forward to now >Life's going great, have had a relationship >Encounter Gymchad in a diner >He's accompanied by this f------ bouncing ball of a kid, looks like picrel >Disgusting little s--- is devouring a burger like the Apple of Eden >Ask him who the kid is. >"Oh haha Anon that's my son." The f---? How does a Chad like that raise this f------ gremlin? I've honestly never been more disappointed in someone like this

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Anon isn’t Catholic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)11:59:10 No.864567264 >art class >l don't like anybody, sitting in the back corner by myself >everybody is weird or really gay >get bored >talk to the one of the Trump guys >chat about shampoo (for some f------ LA 467 KB JPG reason) and football >ask about the Events the Church does every week >he asks if I believe in God >I tell him I'm kinda just Catholic, only for him to say it's offensive to him saying „Kinda“ >I commit to Catholicism and say it's like the older kind, so it's better >asks a couple other questions >"Okay, anon, I think you can come by! It's got some food and games“ >"Yeah, anon! You should check it out! I didn't know you were Catholic." >mfw when Il'm a satanist
: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)11:59:10 No.864567264 >art class >l don't like anybody, sitting in the back corner by myself >everybody is weird or really gay >get bored >talk to the one of the Trump guys >chat about shampoo (for some f------ LA 467 KB JPG reason) and football >ask about the Events the Church does every week >he asks if I believe in God >I tell him I'm kinda just Catholic, only for him to say it's offensive to him saying „Kinda“ >I commit to Catholicism and say it's like the older kind, so it's better >asks a couple other questions >"Okay, anon, I think you can come by! It's got some food and games“ >"Yeah, anon! You should check it out! I didn't know you were Catholic." >mfw when Il'm a satanist

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Oh shit its the Dwarf | /r/Greentext

>be me, alone in uni library >studying late for math exam tomorrow >11:00 pm >suddenly an eerie feeling washes over me 462 KB JPG >l'm being watched >I stand up and shout "SHOW YOURSELF" a faint giggle all too familiar sounds through > ... the hall >the r--- dwarf >panic >break into a sprint through the bookshelves >I can hear its massive c--- drag across the carpet as it chases me >"CHНННННННННННН" >oh f--- >run for the closest door >bathroom >enter and barricade the door >phew >safe >search the bathroom for weapons but nothing >"hihihihihihi" >the giggle emanates from the urinals and the toilets >hes in the sewer system! >liquid pre-c-- starts dripping from the tap >"for anon no escape but for me a hole to gape" help me anons
>be me, alone in uni library >studying late for math exam tomorrow >11:00 pm >suddenly an eerie feeling washes over me 462 KB JPG >l'm being watched >I stand up and shout "SHOW YOURSELF" a faint giggle all too familiar sounds through > ... the hall >the r--- dwarf >panic >break into a sprint through the bookshelves >I can hear its massive c--- drag across the carpet as it chases me >"CHНННННННННННН" >oh f--- >run for the closest door >bathroom >enter and barricade the door >phew >safe >search the bathroom for weapons but nothing >"hihihihihihi" >the giggle emanates from the urinals and the toilets >hes in the sewer system! >liquid pre-c-- starts dripping from the tap >"for anon no escape but for me a hole to gape" help me anons

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Anon is a Softened Criminal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/10/19(Tue)15:20:42 No.815935798 >be me >commit jaywalking several times >commit online piracy more times than I can count >never been caught fear me mortals, your laws do not shackle me 84 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/10/19(Tue)15:20:42 No.815935798 >be me >commit jaywalking several times >commit online piracy more times than I can count >never been caught fear me mortals, your laws do not shackle me 84 KB JPG

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Anon s Endgame | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)17:20:40 No.63458186 >mom unironically caught me s------- on the floor it's f------ over 49 KB JPG 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)17:20:40 No.63458186 >mom unironically caught me s------- on the floor it's f------ over 49 KB JPG 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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The Broken Dam | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)23:42:05 No.65666913 >check recent files >someone found my horse mating vids folder >and spent 45 minutes watching them >mom avoids eye contact at dinner 43 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)23:42:05 No.65666913 >check recent files >someone found my horse mating vids folder >and spent 45 minutes watching them >mom avoids eye contact at dinner 43 KB JPG

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Bloons Tower Defense | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)17:01:49 No.864579631 >see someone listening to music in a discord vc >notice there are 7 music bots in the discord >idea.jpg >join 82 KB PNG >play monkey sounds on 5 bots >play pirate shanties on the remaining music bot >"yo what the f---" >ROFL while listening to some boomer yell "SHUT THE F--- UP" at bots
: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)17:01:49 No.864579631 >see someone listening to music in a discord vc >notice there are 7 music bots in the discord >idea.jpg >join 82 KB PNG >play monkey sounds on 5 bots >play pirate shanties on the remaining music bot >"yo what the f---" >ROFL while listening to some boomer yell "SHUT THE F--- UP" at bots

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Anon KOs a pedo | /r/Greentext

Here's a story for you kids > be me > 24 > go to the park with my nephew and my niece > One is an 8 year old girl and one is a 12 year old boy. 59 KB JPG > let them do their dumb s--- while keeping a keen eye on them. > Creepy guy in his 30s presumably comes up to them. > creepy dead eyes > hairline is f----- > fat c--- > they aren't to far off so I can hear their conversation. > "hey do you two like animals?" > They're kids so of course they say yes. > "oh nice I work at a zoo and I work with all types of animals." >I call out to my nephew to come to me. >I say “Make sure that f----- doesn't do anything over the line" > He nods > Before he reaches the creepy guy I hear the creepy guy say to my niece > "When you're in high school, the boys will be all over you. Maybe I could teach you a thing or two beforehand" > grabs her waist > Nephew gives me a look > I immediately run to the f----- and grab him by the neck and slam him down. > "what the hell are you doing? I'm going to call the f------ police on you a------" > punch the c--- once > knocks him out > people gather around > police arrive and arrest him > my niece asks me what he meant by the high school thing > "he was talking about math and how all the boys will help you with it" > she asks "okay then why did you punch him" > "it's my job to help you with math not him" And that's really it. If you guys see any people like this. Do me a favour and give them a good punch to the teeth
Here's a story for you kids > be me > 24 > go to the park with my nephew and my niece > One is an 8 year old girl and one is a 12 year old boy. 59 KB JPG > let them do their dumb s--- while keeping a keen eye on them. > Creepy guy in his 30s presumably comes up to them. > creepy dead eyes > hairline is f----- > fat c--- > they aren't to far off so I can hear their conversation. > "hey do you two like animals?" > They're kids so of course they say yes. > "oh nice I work at a zoo and I work with all types of animals." >I call out to my nephew to come to me. >I say “Make sure that f----- doesn't do anything over the line" > He nods > Before he reaches the creepy guy I hear the creepy guy say to my niece > "When you're in high school, the boys will be all over you. Maybe I could teach you a thing or two beforehand" > grabs her waist > Nephew gives me a look > I immediately run to the f----- and grab him by the neck and slam him down. > "what the hell are you doing? I'm going to call the f------ police on you a------" > punch the c--- once > knocks him out > people gather around > police arrive and arrest him > my niece asks me what he meant by the high school thing > "he was talking about math and how all the boys will help you with it" > she asks "okay then why did you punch him" > "it's my job to help you with math not him" And that's really it. If you guys see any people like this. Do me a favour and give them a good punch to the teeth

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Anon Wears a Mask | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)10:53:06 No.859783084 >am fully vaccinated >still wear a mask in public because it triggers antimaskers into fits >l'm free to wear a mask and that freedom makes them seeth. 288 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)10:53:06 No.859783084 >am fully vaccinated >still wear a mask in public because it triggers antimaskers into fits >l'm free to wear a mask and that freedom makes them seeth. 288 KB JPG

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