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Anon’s comeuppance | /r/Greentext

Anonymous GENUINE WHAT 29 KB JPG 11/20/23(Mon)00:13:11 No.909598399 >be me, f----- >talking with a guy who wants to have sex >he's cute so why not >asks for face so I send it >sees my curly hair and says he won't have sex with any jew out of respect for palestine >blocks me >mfw I have no jewish ancestry is this what I get for liking penis?
Anonymous GENUINE WHAT 29 KB JPG 11/20/23(Mon)00:13:11 No.909598399 >be me, f----- >talking with a guy who wants to have sex >he's cute so why not >asks for face so I send it >sees my curly hair and says he won't have sex with any jew out of respect for palestine >blocks me >mfw I have no jewish ancestry is this what I get for liking penis?

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Anon gets scammed | /r/Greentext

STOPPUCES OF £4 MILLION AT THE ENG *** *+-+ 19.0 59 1958- ha 4444444 1926 59 KB JPG >be me, britfag >turn 18 and decide to try a scratch card finally >start scratching it off >H--------.jpeg >it says I've won loads of s---, like a car, a diamond, some gold, a f------ plane??? >go to shop and demand my prizes >"no, no, you haven't won anything, you need to find the LOTTERY symbol to win" WHAT THE F--- IS THIS FALSE ADVERTISING. Why bother putting images of diamonds and cars if you can't win them. If I was an americunt I'd sue their asses
STOPPUCES OF £4 MILLION AT THE ENG *** *+-+ 19.0 59 1958- ha 4444444 1926 59 KB JPG >be me, britfag >turn 18 and decide to try a scratch card finally >start scratching it off >H--------.jpeg >it says I've won loads of s---, like a car, a diamond, some gold, a f------ plane??? >go to shop and demand my prizes >"no, no, you haven't won anything, you need to find the LOTTERY symbol to win" WHAT THE F--- IS THIS FALSE ADVERTISING. Why bother putting images of diamonds and cars if you can't win them. If I was an americunt I'd sue their asses

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Time Travel | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: SUIciv8L) You wake up in 1990 97 KB GIF 11/15/23(Wed)05:39:08 No.448784261 What do you do first? Be me: >be 43 years smarter >be 10 in 1990 >find my self >have a serious talk with myself >warn everyone of 2001 >invest in Apple, IBM etc What would you do? F--- off jannies this is political. Would you warn anyone about the future?
Anonymous (ID: SUIciv8L) You wake up in 1990 97 KB GIF 11/15/23(Wed)05:39:08 No.448784261 What do you do first? Be me: >be 43 years smarter >be 10 in 1990 >find my self >have a serious talk with myself >warn everyone of 2001 >invest in Apple, IBM etc What would you do? F--- off jannies this is political. Would you warn anyone about the future?

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Anon causes a ruckus | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous (ID: (b+U7C+9y) i ruined a family's day 104 KB JPG 04/03/23 (Mon)07:13:38 No.422099444 >be at lake where i usually swim >20 unrelated people are fishing there for some reason, some event >f--- them, im swimming anyway >get near some random family >"uhh, this is our spot" >"no this is a public place" >start raising their voices at me like im some danger to their kids (i am, but f--- you people) >guy walks behind me, i turn around and raise my fists at him >says "im not going to do anything" then grabs their stuff and they begin leaving >wife says "something something a------ something something" as walking away 30 feet away >i yell at them "it's THE NI RS you gotta worry about, not me" >8 year old daughter turns around and yells "WE ARENT RACIST LIKE YOU!" >i yell "F--- YOU!" and they keep going >i look around seeing dozens of people staring at me and decide i am in danger and must yeet the f--- out of there before someone shoots me >run into the woods and over a hill >comes out to a steep cliff with a road below it i didnt know was there >"f---, i gotta slide down this cliff to escape" >start sliding down cliff and all of a sudden here come the family i harassed driving down that same road >they see me sliding at them down the cliff like a mad man and they suddenly hit 65mph in the 35 and gtfo out of there in extreme fear >i kek then walk home since i have no car and am borderline homeless except for my small shed f--- those m------------.
:Anonymous (ID: (b+U7C+9y) i ruined a family's day 104 KB JPG 04/03/23 (Mon)07:13:38 No.422099444 >be at lake where i usually swim >20 unrelated people are fishing there for some reason, some event >f--- them, im swimming anyway >get near some random family >"uhh, this is our spot" >"no this is a public place" >start raising their voices at me like im some danger to their kids (i am, but f--- you people) >guy walks behind me, i turn around and raise my fists at him >says "im not going to do anything" then grabs their stuff and they begin leaving >wife says "something something a------ something something" as walking away 30 feet away >i yell at them "it's THE NI RS you gotta worry about, not me" >8 year old daughter turns around and yells "WE ARENT RACIST LIKE YOU!" >i yell "F--- YOU!" and they keep going >i look around seeing dozens of people staring at me and decide i am in danger and must yeet the f--- out of there before someone shoots me >run into the woods and over a hill >comes out to a steep cliff with a road below it i didnt know was there >"f---, i gotta slide down this cliff to escape" >start sliding down cliff and all of a sudden here come the family i harassed driving down that same road >they see me sliding at them down the cliff like a mad man and they suddenly hit 65mph in the 35 and gtfo out of there in extreme fear >i kek then walk home since i have no car and am borderline homeless except for my small shed f--- those m------------.

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The Paradox of Pleasure | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 42 KB JPG 11/19/23(Sun)09:20:10 >regularly go to sports bar to watch hockey games on saturdays because I don't want to stay in the house all the goddamn time No.75468198 >go in >order drink >ask to put the game on >sometimes order food >don't talk to anyone and sit by myself >pay and leave once the game ends Now I'm recognized by the staff >"Hey, anon" >I sit down and they have a glass set for me >put the game on without saying anything I know this is good customer service, but I am very uncomfortable with this I'm going to stop going there Life as a polite introvert is suffering
Anonymous 42 KB JPG 11/19/23(Sun)09:20:10 >regularly go to sports bar to watch hockey games on saturdays because I don't want to stay in the house all the goddamn time No.75468198 >go in >order drink >ask to put the game on >sometimes order food >don't talk to anyone and sit by myself >pay and leave once the game ends Now I'm recognized by the staff >"Hey, anon" >I sit down and they have a glass set for me >put the game on without saying anything I know this is good customer service, but I am very uncomfortable with this I'm going to stop going there Life as a polite introvert is suffering

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Exiled by Self-Perception | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 0jCYTzFW) 11/19/23(Sun)06:18:58 No.19100742 >went to boba tea with friends >was extremely horny even doe I coomed Isat night >went to the toilet to pee, but accidentally jerked off for a bit >things went alright and the toilet was very quiet >I moaned a bit for some seconds >suddenly the toilet stall next to me flushed and somebody came out of >l ended up hiding in the stall for like 10 mins before make sure its empty to come out 145 KB JPG its so over for me. no amount of looksmaxxing can do it. I'm a f------ dead end human being
Anonymous (ID: 0jCYTzFW) 11/19/23(Sun)06:18:58 No.19100742 >went to boba tea with friends >was extremely horny even doe I coomed Isat night >went to the toilet to pee, but accidentally jerked off for a bit >things went alright and the toilet was very quiet >I moaned a bit for some seconds >suddenly the toilet stall next to me flushed and somebody came out of >l ended up hiding in the stall for like 10 mins before make sure its empty to come out 145 KB JPG its so over for me. no amount of looksmaxxing can do it. I'm a f------ dead end human being

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The Silent Signal | /r/Greentext

11/19/23(Sun)10:48:48 No.75468965 >go to a bar on Saturday night >sit by myself >order a few beers >talk to the bartender a bit >nothing serious just small talk and some banter >pay for my beer and go to leave >as Im leaving bartender says he hopes things get better for me and thats how I learned I reek of depression energy Anonymous 41 KB JPG
11/19/23(Sun)10:48:48 No.75468965 >go to a bar on Saturday night >sit by myself >order a few beers >talk to the bartender a bit >nothing serious just small talk and some banter >pay for my beer and go to leave >as Im leaving bartender says he hopes things get better for me and thats how I learned I reek of depression energy Anonymous 41 KB JPG

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Anon expects us to believe this story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 789378827 4.9 kB PNG How was your christmas? >Be Me >Mom and Dad both love me because I'm an only child >Were barely above the poverty line >Christmas comes >Mom buys me brand new airpods >150$ 48 min. ago >Thank her and nearly cry >I knew they couldn't afford this >Take them back to the store they bought them at for a full cash refund >Take the cash and sneak into my parents room >Grab my dads wallet with the cash in hand >Mom walks in >She sees >Starts yelling at me >l begin to cry >Tell her its the money from the airpods >Tell her that I felt guilty knowing that these cost so much >Tell her I was putting the money into the wallet >We both cry for about an hour
Anonymous | 789378827 4.9 kB PNG How was your christmas? >Be Me >Mom and Dad both love me because I'm an only child >Were barely above the poverty line >Christmas comes >Mom buys me brand new airpods >150$ 48 min. ago >Thank her and nearly cry >I knew they couldn't afford this >Take them back to the store they bought them at for a full cash refund >Take the cash and sneak into my parents room >Grab my dads wallet with the cash in hand >Mom walks in >She sees >Starts yelling at me >l begin to cry >Tell her its the money from the airpods >Tell her that I felt guilty knowing that these cost so much >Tell her I was putting the money into the wallet >We both cry for about an hour

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Odd Tactics Against Tyrants | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: G2Cbi8TV) 227 KB PNG 11/19/23(Sun)08:29:35 No.19100939 You guys need to start terrormaxxing/schoolshootermaxing >work out for 6-8 months (loosing all that unnecessary fat) >get buzz cut >buy gun/gun replica (pic rel) >create (second) Instagram account >start posting pictures of you with more and more tactical gear and gun/replica (make sure its in dark colors and it fits the domestic terrorist aesthetic. No camouflage) >post political stuff from time to time (radical right wing stuff works best) >profit Eversince i started terrormaxxing, nobody dared to bully me even once. There is a black girl at my school that used to rip on me. Yesterday she crossed to the other side of the street after school in order to avoid me.
Anonymous (ID: G2Cbi8TV) 227 KB PNG 11/19/23(Sun)08:29:35 No.19100939 You guys need to start terrormaxxing/schoolshootermaxing >work out for 6-8 months (loosing all that unnecessary fat) >get buzz cut >buy gun/gun replica (pic rel) >create (second) Instagram account >start posting pictures of you with more and more tactical gear and gun/replica (make sure its in dark colors and it fits the domestic terrorist aesthetic. No camouflage) >post political stuff from time to time (radical right wing stuff works best) >profit Eversince i started terrormaxxing, nobody dared to bully me even once. There is a black girl at my school that used to rip on me. Yesterday she crossed to the other side of the street after school in order to avoid me.

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Anon smokes weed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)10:18:07 No.778156499 PL 27 KB PNG >be me >am 18 >smoking giggle bush >don't feel anything >inhale like I had been being waterboarded for years >next thing I know I am researching bionicle lore and eating chips >thanks giggle bush
Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)10:18:07 No.778156499 PL 27 KB PNG >be me >am 18 >smoking giggle bush >don't feel anything >inhale like I had been being waterboarded for years >next thing I know I am researching bionicle lore and eating chips >thanks giggle bush

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Vampire's Lament | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 73 KB PNG 11/19/23 (Sun)05:34:47 No.75466438 >sleep from sunrise to sundown >only drink blood (booze) to survive >need sunglasses for the glare of electric light >living way longer than it would ever be fun anyone else vampiremaxxing
Anonymous 73 KB PNG 11/19/23 (Sun)05:34:47 No.75466438 >sleep from sunrise to sundown >only drink blood (booze) to survive >need sunglasses for the glare of electric light >living way longer than it would ever be fun anyone else vampiremaxxing

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Forsaken by Fate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous mmm. 244 KB JPG 11/19/23(Sun)12:45:03 No.75470022 >one chance at life >pear-shaped physique >hairless torso >tiny arms >narrow shoulders >all of this while being a straight male How many people did I kill in my previous life for god to decide to curse me this badly?
Anonymous mmm. 244 KB JPG 11/19/23(Sun)12:45:03 No.75470022 >one chance at life >pear-shaped physique >hairless torso >tiny arms >narrow shoulders >all of this while being a straight male How many people did I kill in my previous life for god to decide to curse me this badly?

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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Badtes: 2 Daldu 17 56 53 KB JPG 11/19/23(Sun)11:38:32 No.30200693 >go to the gym to keep up a /fit/ physique >study for my degree every day to get a good job one day >work part-time on the weekend to not graduate broke >meanwhile all the cute girls are getting f----- by the tall handsome dudes who were just born to attract girls >mfw one day I have to marry a girl like this who, by the time she is 25 years old, has had sex thousands of times with 10+ different men, never going a week without it >meanwhile I am a kissless virgin at 23 How do I even keep going at this point? Every relationship I am going to enter will be loveless and intimacyless because the girl is sexually burnt out from her hoe phase.
: Anonymous Badtes: 2 Daldu 17 56 53 KB JPG 11/19/23(Sun)11:38:32 No.30200693 >go to the gym to keep up a /fit/ physique >study for my degree every day to get a good job one day >work part-time on the weekend to not graduate broke >meanwhile all the cute girls are getting f----- by the tall handsome dudes who were just born to attract girls >mfw one day I have to marry a girl like this who, by the time she is 25 years old, has had sex thousands of times with 10+ different men, never going a week without it >meanwhile I am a kissless virgin at 23 How do I even keep going at this point? Every relationship I am going to enter will be loveless and intimacyless because the girl is sexually burnt out from her hoe phase.

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The Loaned Screen | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/19/23(Sun)07:52:52 No.75467455 >be me >"borrow" a school laptop that was meant to be thrown away >dig through it at home >torrented programs >illegally activated windows >laptop wasn't wiped so it has all of the cookies and saved passwords from teacher's accounts 3.09 MB JPG gj guys, gj
Anonymous 11/19/23(Sun)07:52:52 No.75467455 >be me >"borrow" a school laptop that was meant to be thrown away >dig through it at home >torrented programs >illegally activated windows >laptop wasn't wiped so it has all of the cookies and saved passwords from teacher's accounts 3.09 MB JPG gj guys, gj

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Broken Bearings | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 157 KB JPG 11/19/23(Sun)02:32:37 No.75465556 >Got in a bad skateboard accident as a kid (got knocked off after going down hill and flung into a mailbox so hard the post broke) and fractured some ribs >Parents told me to suck it up because they can't afford to take me in and 'doctors don't do anything for a fractured ribs anyway' >They never healed right and I used to be able to pop two of them upward out of place by inhaling deeply >They stopped popping out and now they're sunk down into my chest and I can feel them rubbing against my organs >No insurance
Anonymous 157 KB JPG 11/19/23(Sun)02:32:37 No.75465556 >Got in a bad skateboard accident as a kid (got knocked off after going down hill and flung into a mailbox so hard the post broke) and fractured some ribs >Parents told me to suck it up because they can't afford to take me in and 'doctors don't do anything for a fractured ribs anyway' >They never healed right and I used to be able to pop two of them upward out of place by inhaling deeply >They stopped popping out and now they're sunk down into my chest and I can feel them rubbing against my organs >No insurance

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Furry Fascination | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 140 KB GIF 11/19/23(Sun)06:58:59 No.75466947 >you have a loyal wife that genuinely cares and loves you and will never cheat or leave you BUT >shes an anthropomorphic fox do you accept?
Anonymous 140 KB GIF 11/19/23(Sun)06:58:59 No.75466947 >you have a loyal wife that genuinely cares and loves you and will never cheat or leave you BUT >shes an anthropomorphic fox do you accept?

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