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Anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)21:07:25 No.62950365 The Virgin Chad >hire a h----- >tell her I'm a virgin >not actually a virgin, have had plenty of sex >but when she thinks it's my first time, she's very gentle and sensual, and I get to act nervous and submissive, which really turns 34 KB JPG me on >when I act all amazed when I touch boobs "for the first time", it actually feels more special to me >I love how caring she is and how she takes the lead if she thinks she's deflowering me >when I finish, she cuddles with me and calls me a good boy I've done this with about 20 different hookers now and I can't stop.
: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)21:07:25 No.62950365 The Virgin Chad >hire a h----- >tell her I'm a virgin >not actually a virgin, have had plenty of sex >but when she thinks it's my first time, she's very gentle and sensual, and I get to act nervous and submissive, which really turns 34 KB JPG me on >when I act all amazed when I touch boobs "for the first time", it actually feels more special to me >I love how caring she is and how she takes the lead if she thinks she's deflowering me >when I finish, she cuddles with me and calls me a good boy I've done this with about 20 different hookers now and I can't stop.

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Anon has covid symptoms | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)09:23:56 No.850788628 >stay up all night playing bideo games and snacking >haven't slept 1 hour >text boss saying i have covid symptoms and i need to stay home, knowing they need me there >plan to snack and game all day, awaiting covid results suck it wagies
Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)09:23:56 No.850788628 >stay up all night playing bideo games and snacking >haven't slept 1 hour >text boss saying i have covid symptoms and i need to stay home, knowing they need me there >plan to snack and game all day, awaiting covid results suck it wagies

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Anon has a dilemma. | /r/Greentext

File: sb.jpg (48 KB, 468x556) Am I Loser Bros? Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)12:42:28 No.62969805 [Reply] >be me >go to college >had few gfs in hs but all were fat or at best 5/10 >go to college >girl who works at IT department at my university looks like pic related >get up the balls to start talking to her >start talking to her regularly >finnally get balls to ask her out >She says yes >WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTEWTEWTEWTEWTEWTFW TFWTFWTFWTEWTEWTEWTEWTFWTFWTFWTEWTE WTFWTFWTFWTFWTEWTEWTE.jpeg >Go out to dinner >Have best date in my life >Find out she's never had a bf before >>>conversation goes on >>>>>FIND OUT SHE HAS F------ BRAIN DAMANGE >try to keep my cool to the end of the night >>she kisses me when she leaves and says she wants to do go out again SOON w-- am i supposed to bros?? Wouldn't be like illegal if i f----- her???? Would it be moral? I dont know what to f------ do.
File: sb.jpg (48 KB, 468x556) Am I Loser Bros? Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)12:42:28 No.62969805 [Reply] >be me >go to college >had few gfs in hs but all were fat or at best 5/10 >go to college >girl who works at IT department at my university looks like pic related >get up the balls to start talking to her >start talking to her regularly >finnally get balls to ask her out >She says yes >WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTEWTEWTEWTEWTEWTFW TFWTFWTFWTEWTEWTEWTEWTFWTFWTFWTEWTE WTFWTFWTFWTFWTEWTEWTE.jpeg >Go out to dinner >Have best date in my life >Find out she's never had a bf before >>>conversation goes on >>>>>FIND OUT SHE HAS F------ BRAIN DAMANGE >try to keep my cool to the end of the night >>she kisses me when she leaves and says she wants to do go out again SOON w-- am i supposed to bros?? Wouldn't be like illegal if i f----- her???? Would it be moral? I dont know what to f------ do.

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Anon is a businessman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)00:58:43 No.62969630 How do I turn 50bucks into The last signs of life slip over the horizon 100bucks Finally, I am alone with my crimes, unrepentant. 76 KB JPG 16 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)02:33:38 No.62970868 flip stuff on ebay : Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)03:15:32 No.62971523 >>62969630 (OP) # This is going to sound weird, but hear me out. >Buy 2 kg of Lego. >Sort Lego into its individual parts (I mean really sort it... Piece, colour, shape, just sort it thoroughly) >Sell on sorted Lego on Ebay You actually might make 200$ if you're lucky. Works for me at least.
: Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)00:58:43 No.62969630 How do I turn 50bucks into The last signs of life slip over the horizon 100bucks Finally, I am alone with my crimes, unrepentant. 76 KB JPG 16 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)02:33:38 No.62970868 flip stuff on ebay : Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)03:15:32 No.62971523 >>62969630 (OP) # This is going to sound weird, but hear me out. >Buy 2 kg of Lego. >Sort Lego into its individual parts (I mean really sort it... Piece, colour, shape, just sort it thoroughly) >Sell on sorted Lego on Ebay You actually might make 200$ if you're lucky. Works for me at least.

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Anon goes out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/12/20(Tue)22:36:00 No.58122654 >go outside >see people with long hair >see people with t--- >see people wearing a dress >they're everywhere W-- guys I thought women were just a meme 280 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/12/20(Tue)22:36:00 No.58122654 >go outside >see people with long hair >see people with t--- >see people wearing a dress >they're everywhere W-- guys I thought women were just a meme 280 KB PNG

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Little bro goes on 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous little bro goes on 4chan 03/29/21(Mon)16:33:44 No.62967024 >Be me >Browsing /r9k/ >Go to take a piss >5 y/o little bro comes in the bathroom asking if he can play a vidya with me >Tell him to go away >When done peeing find him on my pc browsing /b/ 6 KB JPG >mfw View Thread
: Anonymous little bro goes on 4chan 03/29/21(Mon)16:33:44 No.62967024 >Be me >Browsing /r9k/ >Go to take a piss >5 y/o little bro comes in the bathroom asking if he can play a vidya with me >Tell him to go away >When done peeing find him on my pc browsing /b/ 6 KB JPG >mfw View Thread

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GreenText for dummies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.
Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.

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Anon plays tennis | /r/Greentext

>Be me >On long school bus trip >Stopped at Mcdonalds for food >Didn't use the bathroom >Be later >Bus ride is 6 hours and were not stopping >Really gotta fart >Can't because of the laws of public 58 KB JPG decency >Feel gas rush to my anus >Squeeze tight to keep it tamed >Gas goes back to intestines >Every time the gas returns I send it back >lt's like fart tenis >Been playing fart tenis for nearly an hour >My colon decides to spike the serve >l don't return >Mfw I s--- my pants on the schoolbus
>Be me >On long school bus trip >Stopped at Mcdonalds for food >Didn't use the bathroom >Be later >Bus ride is 6 hours and were not stopping >Really gotta fart >Can't because of the laws of public 58 KB JPG decency >Feel gas rush to my anus >Squeeze tight to keep it tamed >Gas goes back to intestines >Every time the gas returns I send it back >lt's like fart tenis >Been playing fart tenis for nearly an hour >My colon decides to spike the serve >l don't return >Mfw I s--- my pants on the schoolbus

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Anon scores a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Expensive date 03/29/21(Mon)16:40:06 No.23859977 > be me > scored a date on dating app > 5' 10" and 22 or 23 years old > it's a girl > she asks to go on a date and get mexican food and margaritas > check if taco bell sells margs 125 KB JPG > doesnt cashregister.mp3 > dont see a future with her, but would like the company for a night out > take her to El Rodeo a local 2 star restaurant > had a really good time actually. we danced a little and had good conversation. tingles in chest > cost me $150 but worthit. might do this again with her > ffwd to today > $150 in bank account, almost time for a second date > booking reservation on phone > amazon ad for cool sunglasses > $150 > buy > cancel date > feel cool now dont need girl > pic related
: Anonymous Expensive date 03/29/21(Mon)16:40:06 No.23859977 > be me > scored a date on dating app > 5' 10" and 22 or 23 years old > it's a girl > she asks to go on a date and get mexican food and margaritas > check if taco bell sells margs 125 KB JPG > doesnt cashregister.mp3 > dont see a future with her, but would like the company for a night out > take her to El Rodeo a local 2 star restaurant > had a really good time actually. we danced a little and had good conversation. tingles in chest > cost me $150 but worthit. might do this again with her > ffwd to today > $150 in bank account, almost time for a second date > booking reservation on phone > amazon ad for cool sunglasses > $150 > buy > cancel date > feel cool now dont need girl > pic related

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Anon is a retard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)10:57:22 No.62962621 >discord >t-----!!! >discord transgender 4chan!!! 40 KB JPG 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)12:54:52 No.62963542 >>62962621 (OP) # I don't get what this thread is implying >>62963566 # >>62963571 # : Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)12:58:17 No.62963566 >>62963542 # Nobody does, this retard is either a glow or a shizo or possibly retarded newfag who heard about the le epic dank maymays 4chinz haz
: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)10:57:22 No.62962621 >discord >t-----!!! >discord transgender 4chan!!! 40 KB JPG 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)12:54:52 No.62963542 >>62962621 (OP) # I don't get what this thread is implying >>62963566 # >>62963571 # : Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)12:58:17 No.62963566 >>62963542 # Nobody does, this retard is either a glow or a shizo or possibly retarded newfag who heard about the le epic dank maymays 4chinz haz

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Anon ruins world economy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)20:58:02 No.850580470 Alright /b/, let's come up with a few pranks >become cargo ship captain >be appointed to captain a very large cargo ship travelling through the Suez Canal EVERBREEN >get stuck on your side so that no other ship can cross the canal (very important) >ruin world economy >not even a crane can get it out
Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)20:58:02 No.850580470 Alright /b/, let's come up with a few pranks >become cargo ship captain >be appointed to captain a very large cargo ship travelling through the Suez Canal EVERBREEN >get stuck on your side so that no other ship can cross the canal (very important) >ruin world economy >not even a crane can get it out

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Anon has been bamboozled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)12:18:11 No.850786770 well it happened. >some light cyber bullying, bully t----- thinking it's jus a girl, pretty face couldn't see the body so was confused 203 KB PNG >argue w t-----, tell her i hope she doesn't kill herself >get horny, start hitting on t----- still thinking she has a p---- >reveals she's a t-----, I've been bamboozled and feel gay >t----- makes fun of me >accept that I publicly flirted w a t----- >t----- sends me nudes >bigger d--- than mine >kinda like them, nut what do i do now /b/ros i feel ashamed of myself
: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)12:18:11 No.850786770 well it happened. >some light cyber bullying, bully t----- thinking it's jus a girl, pretty face couldn't see the body so was confused 203 KB PNG >argue w t-----, tell her i hope she doesn't kill herself >get horny, start hitting on t----- still thinking she has a p---- >reveals she's a t-----, I've been bamboozled and feel gay >t----- makes fun of me >accept that I publicly flirted w a t----- >t----- sends me nudes >bigger d--- than mine >kinda like them, nut what do i do now /b/ros i feel ashamed of myself

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Anon likes to piss off wagies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)11:10:39 No.62967439 Devilish thread? I'll start: >collect half dollar coins from my bank in big ass rolls (pre 70s ones have silver in them) 144 KB JPG >have a s--- ton of spares laying around >get idea >start paying in f------ half dollars at every cash register >poor retards working it have no idea where to put these big ass chunks of copper and nickel >they always end up calling the manager to ask what to do >never fails to waste at least 15 minutes of their time, plus the managers of min wage jobs are p----- off a lot most of the time love to make the lives of high schoolers horrible in every way possible.
: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)11:10:39 No.62967439 Devilish thread? I'll start: >collect half dollar coins from my bank in big ass rolls (pre 70s ones have silver in them) 144 KB JPG >have a s--- ton of spares laying around >get idea >start paying in f------ half dollars at every cash register >poor retards working it have no idea where to put these big ass chunks of copper and nickel >they always end up calling the manager to ask what to do >never fails to waste at least 15 minutes of their time, plus the managers of min wage jobs are p----- off a lot most of the time love to make the lives of high schoolers horrible in every way possible.

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Anon is a plague doctor | /r/Greentext

-1 O Legend of the Plague Doctor Anonymous >Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down street to McDonalds. >Enter, walk to counter. >Hot blond giri turns around and screams. >Put on deep voice. >"DO NOT BE AFRAID, CHILD!" >Wave arms, leap onto counter. >Kickover register and charity jar. >Raise hands into air. >"PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYY!" >Manager storms in, appears angry. >Moonwalk. >Kick fat kid's McFlury from hands. >"You are fat. You need not this." >Tip hat to manager, jump from counter. >Head for door, see bitch/hot girl from high school. >She has fries, is staring with gaping jaw. >Sprint to her. >Grab her fries, slap her. >Manager shouts, tries to grab hat. >Spin around, slap him across face. >"UNHAND ME, MALE OF BROWN SKINI" >Sparta kick the door. >Run out of store. >Walk the dinosaur. >Go home, leave without costume. >Return to McDonald's, see sign with "no dogs allowed" stuff. >See picture of plague doctor with cross-out thing on it. >LOL.
-1 O Legend of the Plague Doctor Anonymous >Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down street to McDonalds. >Enter, walk to counter. >Hot blond giri turns around and screams. >Put on deep voice. >"DO NOT BE AFRAID, CHILD!" >Wave arms, leap onto counter. >Kickover register and charity jar. >Raise hands into air. >"PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYY!" >Manager storms in, appears angry. >Moonwalk. >Kick fat kid's McFlury from hands. >"You are fat. You need not this." >Tip hat to manager, jump from counter. >Head for door, see bitch/hot girl from high school. >She has fries, is staring with gaping jaw. >Sprint to her. >Grab her fries, slap her. >Manager shouts, tries to grab hat. >Spin around, slap him across face. >"UNHAND ME, MALE OF BROWN SKINI" >Sparta kick the door. >Run out of store. >Walk the dinosaur. >Go home, leave without costume. >Return to McDonald's, see sign with "no dogs allowed" stuff. >See picture of plague doctor with cross-out thing on it. >LOL.

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Anon destroys humanity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous greentext #2238547524395742546(...) 08/13/18(Mon)18:31:04 No.47484032 >be me >play some plague inc >name my disease "my a------" >mfw my a------ is spreading fast >mfw my a------ destroys 8 KB JPG humanity i know this is f------ dumb but i still wanted to share it pic kinda related
: Anonymous greentext #2238547524395742546(...) 08/13/18(Mon)18:31:04 No.47484032 >be me >play some plague inc >name my disease "my a------" >mfw my a------ is spreading fast >mfw my a------ destroys 8 KB JPG humanity i know this is f------ dumb but i still wanted to share it pic kinda related

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Anon has jewish ancestors | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)20:22:27 No.62966570 >told a holocaust joke to my mother >she sighs and tells me that my ancestors were jews from Poland How am I supposed to feel about this? 25 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)20:22:27 No.62966570 >told a holocaust joke to my mother >she sighs and tells me that my ancestors were jews from Poland How am I supposed to feel about this? 25 KB JPG

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FBI knocks anon's door | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/16/18(Sat)23:38:28 No.46166727 >>46166446 # >Be at your house shitposting and watching animu >Doorknoking.wav >ask who is. 65 KB PNG >"FBI we are looking for anon, we need to make him some questions" >lts me but show me an id >open a little bit the door to see ID. >Feds show id >"Sorry but i dont know if those are real, i never saw a fbi badge before" >"This ones are real Anon, can you open anon?" >"Sorry i dont trust you, are you armed?" >"Yes, we are special agents". >"Ok, show me the guns" >Fed show the guns. >Close the door, call the 911, tell them two armed guys are trying to brake into my house. >Cops arrive, ask for id to feds. >black special agent reach to his wallet to show badge. got shot 4 times by local police. >mfw
: Anonymous 06/16/18(Sat)23:38:28 No.46166727 >>46166446 # >Be at your house shitposting and watching animu >Doorknoking.wav >ask who is. 65 KB PNG >"FBI we are looking for anon, we need to make him some questions" >lts me but show me an id >open a little bit the door to see ID. >Feds show id >"Sorry but i dont know if those are real, i never saw a fbi badge before" >"This ones are real Anon, can you open anon?" >"Sorry i dont trust you, are you armed?" >"Yes, we are special agents". >"Ok, show me the guns" >Fed show the guns. >Close the door, call the 911, tell them two armed guys are trying to brake into my house. >Cops arrive, ask for id to feds. >black special agent reach to his wallet to show badge. got shot 4 times by local police. >mfw

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Anon gets a mommy fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Cooooooo0om 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and Verti leans close > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life
: Anonymous Cooooooo0om 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and Verti leans close > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life

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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Born In the USA 06/22/18(Fri)17:34:29 No.6826333 >Be Me >American >Internet's down >Bored >Go Outside >Don't get shot because most gun owners are completely cautious and safe people and 68 KB JPG exceptions are rare >Go back inside >Get stabbed by wife
: Anonymous Born In the USA 06/22/18(Fri)17:34:29 No.6826333 >Be Me >American >Internet's down >Bored >Go Outside >Don't get shot because most gun owners are completely cautious and safe people and 68 KB JPG exceptions are rare >Go back inside >Get stabbed by wife

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anon takes revenge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)16:25:58 No.850806697 >>850806267 (OP) # > Older friend convinced me to do gay s--- when I was very young > Didnt like it but still did stuff for a few years. > Eventually stop hanging out with him because shame is too great. > 10 years later > hired a hit man to kill him and make it look like a robbery. Nobody makes me a f-----
: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)16:25:58 No.850806697 >>850806267 (OP) # > Older friend convinced me to do gay s--- when I was very young > Didnt like it but still did stuff for a few years. > Eventually stop hanging out with him because shame is too great. > 10 years later > hired a hit man to kill him and make it look like a robbery. Nobody makes me a f-----

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