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Anon shows some compassion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)19:42:42 No.62940890 >favorite pornstar tried jumping out of a window to kill herself F--- this s--- industry. I'm never fapping again 61 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)19:42:42 No.62940890 >favorite pornstar tried jumping out of a window to kill herself F--- this s--- industry. I'm never fapping again 61 KB JPG

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Anon discovers life | /r/Greentext

File: 15pdtogf21051.png (241 KB, 399x395) Never be generous Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)09:40:18 No.62937768 >go to local bookstore >tons of s--- >love Gorillaz, so decide to go to music section >browse shelf >they have a rare-ass Gorillaz art book that's worth like $300 online >been looking forever, check price >$50 >FUCKYEAH.jpg >middle aged boomer dad and his annoying ass daughter walk up to me as I'm holding the book >"hey, can my daughter see that real quick?" >"yeah, sure, but I was still looking at it" >they take the book >they f------ book it to the cashier and pay for it right then and there Never be nice to others
File: 15pdtogf21051.png (241 KB, 399x395) Never be generous Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)09:40:18 No.62937768 >go to local bookstore >tons of s--- >love Gorillaz, so decide to go to music section >browse shelf >they have a rare-ass Gorillaz art book that's worth like $300 online >been looking forever, check price >$50 >FUCKYEAH.jpg >middle aged boomer dad and his annoying ass daughter walk up to me as I'm holding the book >"hey, can my daughter see that real quick?" >"yeah, sure, but I was still looking at it" >they take the book >they f------ book it to the cashier and pay for it right then and there Never be nice to others

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Anon knows how to pleasure a woman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)11:11:00 No.783768621 >>783768080 (OP) # >be me, 18 >get drunk >girl i'm dating also gets drunk >asks if i want to f--- >hell yeah >stick it in >c-- on 1st thrust >hell yeah
: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)11:11:00 No.783768621 >>783768080 (OP) # >be me, 18 >get drunk >girl i'm dating also gets drunk >asks if i want to f--- >hell yeah >stick it in >c-- on 1st thrust >hell yeah

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Anon is smart | /r/Greentext

File: lock.jpg (81 KB, 669x594) Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)18:06:28 No.850637832 [Reply] ► >>850646835 >>850646871 >\b\ me >Open site to pirate game >Chrome says site "not secure" >Adds 's' after http >Site opens up safely I've got it anons; I'm a hacker now
File: lock.jpg (81 KB, 669x594) Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)18:06:28 No.850637832 [Reply] ► >>850646835 >>850646871 >\b\ me >Open site to pirate game >Chrome says site "not secure" >Adds 's' after http >Site opens up safely I've got it anons; I'm a hacker now

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Anon is rude | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)18:19:45 No.850653707 >driving to work early in the morning >kind of cool outside so roll down windows >at stop light a few miles down the road >see a -20/10 ogre on the sidewalk >forget i have windows down >say loudly 'jeepers f----- heepers, it's times like these i wish i didn't have sight' >she looks over at me >we make eye contact >she starts to walk over while saying 'that can be arranged m----------!' >speed through red light Gonna drive back by later and talk more s---
Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)18:19:45 No.850653707 >driving to work early in the morning >kind of cool outside so roll down windows >at stop light a few miles down the road >see a -20/10 ogre on the sidewalk >forget i have windows down >say loudly 'jeepers f----- heepers, it's times like these i wish i didn't have sight' >she looks over at me >we make eye contact >she starts to walk over while saying 'that can be arranged m----------!' >speed through red light Gonna drive back by later and talk more s---

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anon has family dinner | /r/Greentext

>having dinner with family >ask dad for mayonnaise >'sure thing son' >dad goes to kitchen >5 minutes later hear him go 'close your eyes son' >'wha- 96 KB PNG >cumshottotheface.gif >'Dad's homemade mayo son haha' >rest of family laughs and calls me a f----- >get up very angrily >'son wait!" >yell 'WHAT?!' >...you got something on your chin' i f-- hate this family, I WANT OUT, I WANT OUT!!!
>having dinner with family >ask dad for mayonnaise >'sure thing son' >dad goes to kitchen >5 minutes later hear him go 'close your eyes son' >'wha- 96 KB PNG >cumshottotheface.gif >'Dad's homemade mayo son haha' >rest of family laughs and calls me a f----- >get up very angrily >'son wait!" >yell 'WHAT?!' >...you got something on your chin' i f-- hate this family, I WANT OUT, I WANT OUT!!!

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Anon fights his bully | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)08:46:28 No.62933553 O >>62933594 >>62934933 >Be me >14 years old in school >Constantly bullied by a 17 year old guy and his crew >Had crush on a classmate >One day, recess ends, bell rings, we all head back to class >Just about to enter school building when bully pushes me and I hit my head on a marble corner >Everyone turns and looks at me, I realize my head is bleeding bad. Crush there as well, I feel humiliated >Start feeling dizzy from head wound, start thinking the end is near >l get up >Suddenly extremely unreasonably angry >I turn towards bully and his gang who are all laughing >"WHO DID THIS?Í" >They continue laughing, finally bully walks towards me >"Me, what? What are you gonna do?" >l go berserk and throw a punch but he grabs my arm >After some fighting we both enter a mutual arm-lock, noone of us has a free arm to punch, and we are too close to kick effectively >l get even angrier at the idea he might get away with humiliating me in front of my crush >Start headbutting him, blood from my wound sticking on his face >l do this with all my strength for 8-10 more times. I start feeling more dizzy >Finally feel his grip loosen, realize his nose, mouth and forehead are bleeding and that he's barely conscious >l step back, grab his shoulder and force him to his knees. I then drive my knee to his jaw >Bully collapses, and I look at everyone who's watching >I know I'm going to pass out but don't want my crush to see >I sit on the toilet seat waiting to pass out alone. >l don't pass out. >Feels good.
Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)08:46:28 No.62933553 O >>62933594 >>62934933 >Be me >14 years old in school >Constantly bullied by a 17 year old guy and his crew >Had crush on a classmate >One day, recess ends, bell rings, we all head back to class >Just about to enter school building when bully pushes me and I hit my head on a marble corner >Everyone turns and looks at me, I realize my head is bleeding bad. Crush there as well, I feel humiliated >Start feeling dizzy from head wound, start thinking the end is near >l get up >Suddenly extremely unreasonably angry >I turn towards bully and his gang who are all laughing >"WHO DID THIS?Í" >They continue laughing, finally bully walks towards me >"Me, what? What are you gonna do?" >l go berserk and throw a punch but he grabs my arm >After some fighting we both enter a mutual arm-lock, noone of us has a free arm to punch, and we are too close to kick effectively >l get even angrier at the idea he might get away with humiliating me in front of my crush >Start headbutting him, blood from my wound sticking on his face >l do this with all my strength for 8-10 more times. I start feeling more dizzy >Finally feel his grip loosen, realize his nose, mouth and forehead are bleeding and that he's barely conscious >l step back, grab his shoulder and force him to his knees. I then drive my knee to his jaw >Bully collapses, and I look at everyone who's watching >I know I'm going to pass out but don't want my crush to see >I sit on the toilet seat waiting to pass out alone. >l don't pass out. >Feels good.

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Anon enters 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I entered 4chan for the first (...) 03/27/21(Sat)15:32:53 No.9526144 >be me >watches a lot of greentext content on Reddit >decides to go directly to the source >opens Safari in incognito mode because you never know 16 KB JPG >opens 4chan >mfw greeted by a Brazzers' black BBW ad and a dude who had a stroke while typing >what is this place?
: Anonymous I entered 4chan for the first (...) 03/27/21(Sat)15:32:53 No.9526144 >be me >watches a lot of greentext content on Reddit >decides to go directly to the source >opens Safari in incognito mode because you never know 16 KB JPG >opens 4chan >mfw greeted by a Brazzers' black BBW ad and a dude who had a stroke while typing >what is this place?

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Anon experiences freedom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)15:49:06 No.62938342 >family is on vacation >get the whole house to myself >buy beer and eat mcdonalds >can make as much noise as I can okay, now this is based and what true freedom feels like. 6 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)15:49:06 No.62938342 >family is on vacation >get the whole house to myself >buy beer and eat mcdonalds >can make as much noise as I can okay, now this is based and what true freedom feels like. 6 KB JPG

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Anon fixes his shirt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)07:42:31 No.845130302 Img-1610977327033.jpg 86 KB JPG >driving >notice shirt is inside out >pull into parking lot to correct it >fix shirt >guy pulls up >'hey nice t---' >hands me a 10 dollar bill >mfw i'm a guy
: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)07:42:31 No.845130302 Img-1610977327033.jpg 86 KB JPG >driving >notice shirt is inside out >pull into parking lot to correct it >fix shirt >guy pulls up >'hey nice t---' >hands me a 10 dollar bill >mfw i'm a guy

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Anon about migrant crisis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 1Fznobnw 03/27/21(Sat)11:32:37 No.313890260 >People would rather have pets than children >Europe promotes LGBT >LGBT cant have kids >Population declines >Labor force declines >Needs to import labor force to maintain economy >Current situation emerges
: Anonymous (ID: 1Fznobnw 03/27/21(Sat)11:32:37 No.313890260 >People would rather have pets than children >Europe promotes LGBT >LGBT cant have kids >Population declines >Labor force declines >Needs to import labor force to maintain economy >Current situation emerges

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Anon responds to very low quality bait | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)22:30:47 No.756835038 >FACT: all men on /b/ are either rapists or child molesters >FACT: the misogyny on /b/ validates said rapists and child molesters this IS what feminist looks like >FACT: Libertarian, right-wing political thought enables and encourages r--- and child molestation en masse >FACT: Everyone on /b/, except myself, is a white 98 KB JPG nationalist >FACT: men, particularly men on /b/, enjoy beating and murdering women with whom they disagree I DARE anyone here to refute a single thing I've said above. Go ahead. Try it. : Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)22:31:55 No.756835124 : Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)22:32:15 No.756835153 >>756835038 (OP) # >all men on /b/ are either rapists or child molesters How can virgins be rapists or child molestors? >>756835246 # >>756835521 # >>756835942 # >>756836174 #
: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)22:30:47 No.756835038 >FACT: all men on /b/ are either rapists or child molesters >FACT: the misogyny on /b/ validates said rapists and child molesters this IS what feminist looks like >FACT: Libertarian, right-wing political thought enables and encourages r--- and child molestation en masse >FACT: Everyone on /b/, except myself, is a white 98 KB JPG nationalist >FACT: men, particularly men on /b/, enjoy beating and murdering women with whom they disagree I DARE anyone here to refute a single thing I've said above. Go ahead. Try it. : Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)22:31:55 No.756835124 : Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)22:32:15 No.756835153 >>756835038 (OP) # >all men on /b/ are either rapists or child molesters How can virgins be rapists or child molestors? >>756835246 # >>756835521 # >>756835942 # >>756836174 #

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Anon has the Rona | /r/Greentext

File: panic, gif (13 KB, 56x56) O Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)13:30:34 No.850637594 >be me >yesterday >gets fever >it'll be fine.jpeg >today >fever doesn't stop but fall in temperature >drink orange juice >no taste.png >eat mashed potatos >no taste.png >panic.gif >i think i might have rona anons
File: panic, gif (13 KB, 56x56) O Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)13:30:34 No.850637594 >be me >yesterday >gets fever >it'll be fine.jpeg >today >fever doesn't stop but fall in temperature >drink orange juice >no taste.png >eat mashed potatos >no taste.png >panic.gif >i think i might have rona anons

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Anon gets a date | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/26/14(Sun)23:45:49 No.29298147 >ask girl out on a date >she says yes >ask her what time her dad can drive us to the movies >she just gives me a blank stare 153 KB JPG >ok well you guys should pick me up around 7 >give her fist bump and run home in excitement >her and her dad pick me up around 7 >no one says a word on the way there >he drops us off >as I'm getting out of the car I stop and ask him for the money for the movie >he just stares at me >politely inform him movies don't grow on trees >he gives me $30 >l clear my throat and keep my hand out >he gives me another $10 >l roll my eyes and "thanks, guy" really sarcastically >girl I asked out is looking super embarrassed >get to the ticket window >did your dad give you any money for the movie? >she looks like she's about to cry >well you should call him because he only gave me enough for myself and some food >we didn't go on a second date
Anonymous 10/26/14(Sun)23:45:49 No.29298147 >ask girl out on a date >she says yes >ask her what time her dad can drive us to the movies >she just gives me a blank stare 153 KB JPG >ok well you guys should pick me up around 7 >give her fist bump and run home in excitement >her and her dad pick me up around 7 >no one says a word on the way there >he drops us off >as I'm getting out of the car I stop and ask him for the money for the movie >he just stares at me >politely inform him movies don't grow on trees >he gives me $30 >l clear my throat and keep my hand out >he gives me another $10 >l roll my eyes and "thanks, guy" really sarcastically >girl I asked out is looking super embarrassed >get to the ticket window >did your dad give you any money for the movie? >she looks like she's about to cry >well you should call him because he only gave me enough for myself and some food >we didn't go on a second date

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Anon should go outside sometime | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)08:33:52 No.62935258 >when you and another person start insulting each other in a thread back and forth and you start imagining them as a woman and getting married to them and having a family with them 28 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)08:33:52 No.62935258 >when you and another person start insulting each other in a thread back and forth and you start imagining them as a woman and getting married to them and having a family with them 28 KB PNG

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anon needs glasses | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)04:18:02 No.850627605 >go into bathroom for a piss >see something on ground >its either s---, food, or a bug >finish piss, get a closer look >its a pillbug >its upside down 192 KB PNG >its dead >mfw that pillbug slowly starved to death on my piss covered bathroom floor cold and alone. I'm sorry I couldnt be there for you when you needed help pillbug-bro, I can only hope you can forgive me.
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)04:18:02 No.850627605 >go into bathroom for a piss >see something on ground >its either s---, food, or a bug >finish piss, get a closer look >its a pillbug >its upside down 192 KB PNG >its dead >mfw that pillbug slowly starved to death on my piss covered bathroom floor cold and alone. I'm sorry I couldnt be there for you when you needed help pillbug-bro, I can only hope you can forgive me.

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anon has a new classmate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/28/13(Sun)04.30 No.34718863 File: 1367137852031 png-(77 KB, 192x154, 1356913764910.png) >Be in 5th grade >We have to give speech on what we did over summer >New awkward fat kid in class, keeps to himself mostly, plays gameboy when we're at recess. >doesn't want to give speech, teacher says he has to >waddles to front of room, stutters a little >suddenly, s--- >he literally s---- his pants in front of the class and the smell is awful >runs out of class, doesn't have to do assignment >talk to him next day, claims he "tactically s--- himself" to avoid having to give his speech >mfw
Anonymous 04/28/13(Sun)04.30 No.34718863 File: 1367137852031 png-(77 KB, 192x154, 1356913764910.png) >Be in 5th grade >We have to give speech on what we did over summer >New awkward fat kid in class, keeps to himself mostly, plays gameboy when we're at recess. >doesn't want to give speech, teacher says he has to >waddles to front of room, stutters a little >suddenly, s--- >he literally s---- his pants in front of the class and the smell is awful >runs out of class, doesn't have to do assignment >talk to him next day, claims he "tactically s--- himself" to avoid having to give his speech >mfw

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Anon wants to become Alpha Male | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)02:21:04 No.23841926 How do I become alpha male 136 KB JPG 9 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)02:29:21 No.23841980 >>23841926 (OP)# >gym >eat right >save money >change your style >have confidence >>23841986 #
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)02:21:04 No.23841926 How do I become alpha male 136 KB JPG 9 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)02:29:21 No.23841980 >>23841926 (OP)# >gym >eat right >save money >change your style >have confidence >>23841986 #

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Anon is a stoner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)15:05:41 No.62927517 being a stoner makes me automatically better than you. when i smoke weed i can go outside, go on a bike ride, enjoy my hobbies, make music, hang out with friends, or anything 62 KB JPG gamers >piss in bottles >sit in a dark room for 10 hours at a time >yelling at a video game every day >doing virtual chores for nothing >end up quitting game all progress is gone and time is wasted >sit in a pile of dirty dishes all day /r9k/cels >sit in front of a computer all day >arguing and bitching all day back and forth >staring at p--- and smut all day >j------- 5 times a day >just stare at naked women all day while bitching about them >solving broken s----- captchas alll day
: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)15:05:41 No.62927517 being a stoner makes me automatically better than you. when i smoke weed i can go outside, go on a bike ride, enjoy my hobbies, make music, hang out with friends, or anything 62 KB JPG gamers >piss in bottles >sit in a dark room for 10 hours at a time >yelling at a video game every day >doing virtual chores for nothing >end up quitting game all progress is gone and time is wasted >sit in a pile of dirty dishes all day /r9k/cels >sit in front of a computer all day >arguing and bitching all day back and forth >staring at p--- and smut all day >j------- 5 times a day >just stare at naked women all day while bitching about them >solving broken s----- captchas alll day

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Anon tries threesome | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)10:56:26 No.62934236 >be me >birthday is coming up so gf asks what do I want >jokingly tell her a threesome >she said she noticed l've been bringing the subject a lot lately (which I have) and she's willing to do it if we do it with another guy 9 KB JPG first >not convinced but seems fair >she tells me which of her friends would be willing to do it, turns out is her hottest friend >instantyes.jpg >tell her she can choose whatever guy >one of her coworkers (that I thought was gay) shows up >f----- is taller than me and actually fit >start to regret it but remember I'm still gonna get my threesome >guy pulls out his package and its a goddamn 9 incher >not that Im that small but its still a f------ 9 incher >worry my gf will get touched deeper than she has been touched before and she wouldnt want my c--- anymore >remember why I'm doing this >decide to get on top of her and stall so he doesn't get a chance fuckes gets on top of my back >w--.exe >feel his c--- enter my f------ anus >let out a painful scream >im sandwiched between them so can't get out >realize what's going on >she's doing this as revenge for suggesting a threesome, doesn't matter, if I finish she has to fulfill her part of the deal >hold back my tears, finish quickly and let him have her (turns out he's bi) >ass hurts a lot for the next few days and can't look her in the eye >days later it's finally my birthday >bitches basically had a live lesbian session in front of my and didn't get to f--- her friend bros, it's not like the p--- videos, im seriously consideraing breaking up with her and never trying this s--- again my ass still f------ hurts when i poop 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)10:56:26 No.62934236 >be me >birthday is coming up so gf asks what do I want >jokingly tell her a threesome >she said she noticed l've been bringing the subject a lot lately (which I have) and she's willing to do it if we do it with another guy 9 KB JPG first >not convinced but seems fair >she tells me which of her friends would be willing to do it, turns out is her hottest friend >instantyes.jpg >tell her she can choose whatever guy >one of her coworkers (that I thought was gay) shows up >f----- is taller than me and actually fit >start to regret it but remember I'm still gonna get my threesome >guy pulls out his package and its a goddamn 9 incher >not that Im that small but its still a f------ 9 incher >worry my gf will get touched deeper than she has been touched before and she wouldnt want my c--- anymore >remember why I'm doing this >decide to get on top of her and stall so he doesn't get a chance fuckes gets on top of my back >w--.exe >feel his c--- enter my f------ anus >let out a painful scream >im sandwiched between them so can't get out >realize what's going on >she's doing this as revenge for suggesting a threesome, doesn't matter, if I finish she has to fulfill her part of the deal >hold back my tears, finish quickly and let him have her (turns out he's bi) >ass hurts a lot for the next few days and can't look her in the eye >days later it's finally my birthday >bitches basically had a live lesbian session in front of my and didn't get to f--- her friend bros, it's not like the p--- videos, im seriously consideraing breaking up with her and never trying this s--- again my ass still f------ hurts when i poop 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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