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Greased lightning | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)21:13:20 No.62945841 >finally get a match on tinder >3/10 but at least it's someone >invite her over to my house >few minutes after she gets there >"oh i just remembered I have a piece of fried chicken in my car i'm 4 KB JPG gonna go grab it" >mfw she never comes back
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)21:13:20 No.62945841 >finally get a match on tinder >3/10 but at least it's someone >invite her over to my house >few minutes after she gets there >"oh i just remembered I have a piece of fried chicken in my car i'm 4 KB JPG gonna go grab it" >mfw she never comes back

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Listen to the trees | /r/Greentext

File: images.jpg (10 KB, 231x218) O Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)09:05:50 No.62937468 [Reply] >>62937486 >Had dozens of angry voicemails >All from carpenters >Turns out I had got high and called them threatening to m----- their planks of wood >Even threatened to shove sawdust up my a------ W-- is wrong with me Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)09:07:35 No.62937486 >>62937468 (OP)# Get high again and call your local florists.
File: images.jpg (10 KB, 231x218) O Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)09:05:50 No.62937468 [Reply] >>62937486 >Had dozens of angry voicemails >All from carpenters >Turns out I had got high and called them threatening to m----- their planks of wood >Even threatened to shove sawdust up my a------ W-- is wrong with me Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)09:07:35 No.62937486 >>62937468 (OP)# Get high again and call your local florists.

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Anon is French | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)23:20:59 No.850692739 >be me, Frenchman >wake up >don't shower or bursh teeth >put on my striped shirt and beret >have my breakfast c-------- >take bus to work 78 KB JPG >bus driver stops midroute because he's on strike >hop off, start the long walk to work in my bare feet >sidewalk is unfinished because the construction workers are on strike >trudge through the mud and find a couple snails to snack on >finally get to the office building >can't get inside because the doorman's on strike >call my (female) boss to tell her l'll be late >she says it's ok because she's on strike too >it's now 10 am, time for my union-mandated 3 hour lunch >track mud inside the restaurant >ask the waiter for the lunch special >he brings me two cigarettes and a cup of wine >eat standing up because the chairs are on strike >go home at 12 and take my union-mandated 5 day weekend yet another day I'm glad I'm not an american
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)23:20:59 No.850692739 >be me, Frenchman >wake up >don't shower or bursh teeth >put on my striped shirt and beret >have my breakfast c-------- >take bus to work 78 KB JPG >bus driver stops midroute because he's on strike >hop off, start the long walk to work in my bare feet >sidewalk is unfinished because the construction workers are on strike >trudge through the mud and find a couple snails to snack on >finally get to the office building >can't get inside because the doorman's on strike >call my (female) boss to tell her l'll be late >she says it's ok because she's on strike too >it's now 10 am, time for my union-mandated 3 hour lunch >track mud inside the restaurant >ask the waiter for the lunch special >he brings me two cigarettes and a cup of wine >eat standing up because the chairs are on strike >go home at 12 and take my union-mandated 5 day weekend yet another day I'm glad I'm not an american

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Anon is a scientist | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 09/11/15(Fri)14:56:15 No.22235008 It's some trap an anon posted a few days ago. I didn't save the pics with her d--- in them because l'm not gay 244 KB JPG >>22235082 # >>22235105 # : Anonymous 09/11/15(Fri)14:59:53 No.22235082 >>22235008 # >as long as you can't see the d--- it's not gay Schrodinger's f-----
| Anonymous 09/11/15(Fri)14:56:15 No.22235008 It's some trap an anon posted a few days ago. I didn't save the pics with her d--- in them because l'm not gay 244 KB JPG >>22235082 # >>22235105 # : Anonymous 09/11/15(Fri)14:59:53 No.22235082 >>22235008 # >as long as you can't see the d--- it's not gay Schrodinger's f-----

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous im trying bros 03/27/21(Sat)23:47:53 No.62944718 >be me >giga depressed >barely take care of myself >try my hardest to keep my house somewhat presentable so friends can come over 42 KB PNG >friends hang out and we drink brewskies >they toss empty beer cans around indiscriminately >toss miscellaneous garbage from snacks/food all over the place >piss all over my toilet >"anon it's getting nasty in here, it stinks, you need to f------ clean it" >mfw
: Anonymous im trying bros 03/27/21(Sat)23:47:53 No.62944718 >be me >giga depressed >barely take care of myself >try my hardest to keep my house somewhat presentable so friends can come over 42 KB PNG >friends hang out and we drink brewskies >they toss empty beer cans around indiscriminately >toss miscellaneous garbage from snacks/food all over the place >piss all over my toilet >"anon it's getting nasty in here, it stinks, you need to f------ clean it" >mfw

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Anon talks himself into trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)16:36:11 No.62938771 >talking with GF about internet culture >she's a normie >tell her about incels, redditors, you f------, hentai and such >of course I didn't tell her I watch 141 KB JPG that s--- >of course I f------ do what do you expect >we start to go in depth about hentai >"seems kinda farfetched anon, do u think people actually get turned on with hentai?" >"uuuh, yeah, of course" >"how do you know?" >mfw I haven't responded since yesterday, what do
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)16:36:11 No.62938771 >talking with GF about internet culture >she's a normie >tell her about incels, redditors, you f------, hentai and such >of course I didn't tell her I watch 141 KB JPG that s--- >of course I f------ do what do you expect >we start to go in depth about hentai >"seems kinda farfetched anon, do u think people actually get turned on with hentai?" >"uuuh, yeah, of course" >"how do you know?" >mfw I haven't responded since yesterday, what do

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Anon sees the sad truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: CW04UJAD 03/27/21(Sat)23:32:04 No.313962125 >go to college so you can get a job to pay for college >buy a car so you can go to your job to pay for the car >get married so you can have more income to spend on the marriage >have kids to have more 126 KB JPG happiness to offset the stress of having kids
: Anonymous (ID: CW04UJAD 03/27/21(Sat)23:32:04 No.313962125 >go to college so you can get a job to pay for college >buy a car so you can go to your job to pay for the car >get married so you can have more income to spend on the marriage >have kids to have more 126 KB JPG happiness to offset the stress of having kids

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Femanon wanted to fit in | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)12:46:35 No.850658836 >be me >femanon >attending high school atm >can't fit in because i think that everyone is f------ retarded >practically gave up on social life >actually think all women are (attention) w----- 7 KB JPG and just generally hate females >no social media >tried reddit but disliked it >have been scrolling through 4chan recently >actually feel some sort of comfort when i see people feeling somewhat the same as me >thank you anons : Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)12:47:41 No.850658912 >>850658836 (OP)# T--- Or Gtfo : Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)12:50:00 No.850659069 >>850658836 (OP) # T--- or gtfo. Also if youre still in highschool, you aint more intelligent than any other of the mouth breathers there. Every single highschooler thinks theyre on a other level.(theyre not) Just takes some life wisdom to see this. : Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)12:50:48 No.850659128 >>850658836 (OP) # All im seeing is " blah blah blah blah blah" until i see t--- and a timestamp. II
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)12:46:35 No.850658836 >be me >femanon >attending high school atm >can't fit in because i think that everyone is f------ retarded >practically gave up on social life >actually think all women are (attention) w----- 7 KB JPG and just generally hate females >no social media >tried reddit but disliked it >have been scrolling through 4chan recently >actually feel some sort of comfort when i see people feeling somewhat the same as me >thank you anons : Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)12:47:41 No.850658912 >>850658836 (OP)# T--- Or Gtfo : Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)12:50:00 No.850659069 >>850658836 (OP) # T--- or gtfo. Also if youre still in highschool, you aint more intelligent than any other of the mouth breathers there. Every single highschooler thinks theyre on a other level.(theyre not) Just takes some life wisdom to see this. : Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)12:50:48 No.850659128 >>850658836 (OP) # All im seeing is " blah blah blah blah blah" until i see t--- and a timestamp. II

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Anon achieved the greatest accomplishment | /r/Greentext

>At the age of 24 Neitzsche became the chair of Classical Philology at the University of Basel >At the age of 25 Goethe was already famous among literary circles and published his first 113 KB JPG novel >At the age of 18 Pascal invented a calculator >At the age of 26 Schopenhauer began writing his magnum opus What have you accomplished so far? : Anonymous05/03/20(Sun)02:48:32 No.15257906 I'm happy 64 KB JPG >>15257924 # >>15258071 # >>15258080 # >>15258111 # >>15258114# >>15258122 # >>15258504 # >>15258801 #
>At the age of 24 Neitzsche became the chair of Classical Philology at the University of Basel >At the age of 25 Goethe was already famous among literary circles and published his first 113 KB JPG novel >At the age of 18 Pascal invented a calculator >At the age of 26 Schopenhauer began writing his magnum opus What have you accomplished so far? : Anonymous05/03/20(Sun)02:48:32 No.15257906 I'm happy 64 KB JPG >>15257924 # >>15258071 # >>15258080 # >>15258111 # >>15258114# >>15258122 # >>15258504 # >>15258801 #

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Anon shows some compassion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)19:42:42 No.62940890 >favorite pornstar tried jumping out of a window to kill herself F--- this s--- industry. I'm never fapping again 61 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)19:42:42 No.62940890 >favorite pornstar tried jumping out of a window to kill herself F--- this s--- industry. I'm never fapping again 61 KB JPG

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Anon discovers life | /r/Greentext

File: 15pdtogf21051.png (241 KB, 399x395) Never be generous Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)09:40:18 No.62937768 >go to local bookstore >tons of s--- >love Gorillaz, so decide to go to music section >browse shelf >they have a rare-ass Gorillaz art book that's worth like $300 online >been looking forever, check price >$50 >FUCKYEAH.jpg >middle aged boomer dad and his annoying ass daughter walk up to me as I'm holding the book >"hey, can my daughter see that real quick?" >"yeah, sure, but I was still looking at it" >they take the book >they f------ book it to the cashier and pay for it right then and there Never be nice to others
File: 15pdtogf21051.png (241 KB, 399x395) Never be generous Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)09:40:18 No.62937768 >go to local bookstore >tons of s--- >love Gorillaz, so decide to go to music section >browse shelf >they have a rare-ass Gorillaz art book that's worth like $300 online >been looking forever, check price >$50 >FUCKYEAH.jpg >middle aged boomer dad and his annoying ass daughter walk up to me as I'm holding the book >"hey, can my daughter see that real quick?" >"yeah, sure, but I was still looking at it" >they take the book >they f------ book it to the cashier and pay for it right then and there Never be nice to others

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Anon knows how to pleasure a woman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)11:11:00 No.783768621 >>783768080 (OP) # >be me, 18 >get drunk >girl i'm dating also gets drunk >asks if i want to f--- >hell yeah >stick it in >c-- on 1st thrust >hell yeah
: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)11:11:00 No.783768621 >>783768080 (OP) # >be me, 18 >get drunk >girl i'm dating also gets drunk >asks if i want to f--- >hell yeah >stick it in >c-- on 1st thrust >hell yeah

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Anon is smart | /r/Greentext

File: lock.jpg (81 KB, 669x594) Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)18:06:28 No.850637832 [Reply] ► >>850646835 >>850646871 >\b\ me >Open site to pirate game >Chrome says site "not secure" >Adds 's' after http >Site opens up safely I've got it anons; I'm a hacker now
File: lock.jpg (81 KB, 669x594) Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)18:06:28 No.850637832 [Reply] ► >>850646835 >>850646871 >\b\ me >Open site to pirate game >Chrome says site "not secure" >Adds 's' after http >Site opens up safely I've got it anons; I'm a hacker now

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Anon is rude | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)18:19:45 No.850653707 >driving to work early in the morning >kind of cool outside so roll down windows >at stop light a few miles down the road >see a -20/10 ogre on the sidewalk >forget i have windows down >say loudly 'jeepers f----- heepers, it's times like these i wish i didn't have sight' >she looks over at me >we make eye contact >she starts to walk over while saying 'that can be arranged m----------!' >speed through red light Gonna drive back by later and talk more s---
Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)18:19:45 No.850653707 >driving to work early in the morning >kind of cool outside so roll down windows >at stop light a few miles down the road >see a -20/10 ogre on the sidewalk >forget i have windows down >say loudly 'jeepers f----- heepers, it's times like these i wish i didn't have sight' >she looks over at me >we make eye contact >she starts to walk over while saying 'that can be arranged m----------!' >speed through red light Gonna drive back by later and talk more s---

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anon has family dinner | /r/Greentext

>having dinner with family >ask dad for mayonnaise >'sure thing son' >dad goes to kitchen >5 minutes later hear him go 'close your eyes son' >'wha- 96 KB PNG >cumshottotheface.gif >'Dad's homemade mayo son haha' >rest of family laughs and calls me a f----- >get up very angrily >'son wait!" >yell 'WHAT?!' >...you got something on your chin' i f-- hate this family, I WANT OUT, I WANT OUT!!!
>having dinner with family >ask dad for mayonnaise >'sure thing son' >dad goes to kitchen >5 minutes later hear him go 'close your eyes son' >'wha- 96 KB PNG >cumshottotheface.gif >'Dad's homemade mayo son haha' >rest of family laughs and calls me a f----- >get up very angrily >'son wait!" >yell 'WHAT?!' >...you got something on your chin' i f-- hate this family, I WANT OUT, I WANT OUT!!!

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Anon fights his bully | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)08:46:28 No.62933553 O >>62933594 >>62934933 >Be me >14 years old in school >Constantly bullied by a 17 year old guy and his crew >Had crush on a classmate >One day, recess ends, bell rings, we all head back to class >Just about to enter school building when bully pushes me and I hit my head on a marble corner >Everyone turns and looks at me, I realize my head is bleeding bad. Crush there as well, I feel humiliated >Start feeling dizzy from head wound, start thinking the end is near >l get up >Suddenly extremely unreasonably angry >I turn towards bully and his gang who are all laughing >"WHO DID THIS?Í" >They continue laughing, finally bully walks towards me >"Me, what? What are you gonna do?" >l go berserk and throw a punch but he grabs my arm >After some fighting we both enter a mutual arm-lock, noone of us has a free arm to punch, and we are too close to kick effectively >l get even angrier at the idea he might get away with humiliating me in front of my crush >Start headbutting him, blood from my wound sticking on his face >l do this with all my strength for 8-10 more times. I start feeling more dizzy >Finally feel his grip loosen, realize his nose, mouth and forehead are bleeding and that he's barely conscious >l step back, grab his shoulder and force him to his knees. I then drive my knee to his jaw >Bully collapses, and I look at everyone who's watching >I know I'm going to pass out but don't want my crush to see >I sit on the toilet seat waiting to pass out alone. >l don't pass out. >Feels good.
Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)08:46:28 No.62933553 O >>62933594 >>62934933 >Be me >14 years old in school >Constantly bullied by a 17 year old guy and his crew >Had crush on a classmate >One day, recess ends, bell rings, we all head back to class >Just about to enter school building when bully pushes me and I hit my head on a marble corner >Everyone turns and looks at me, I realize my head is bleeding bad. Crush there as well, I feel humiliated >Start feeling dizzy from head wound, start thinking the end is near >l get up >Suddenly extremely unreasonably angry >I turn towards bully and his gang who are all laughing >"WHO DID THIS?Í" >They continue laughing, finally bully walks towards me >"Me, what? What are you gonna do?" >l go berserk and throw a punch but he grabs my arm >After some fighting we both enter a mutual arm-lock, noone of us has a free arm to punch, and we are too close to kick effectively >l get even angrier at the idea he might get away with humiliating me in front of my crush >Start headbutting him, blood from my wound sticking on his face >l do this with all my strength for 8-10 more times. I start feeling more dizzy >Finally feel his grip loosen, realize his nose, mouth and forehead are bleeding and that he's barely conscious >l step back, grab his shoulder and force him to his knees. I then drive my knee to his jaw >Bully collapses, and I look at everyone who's watching >I know I'm going to pass out but don't want my crush to see >I sit on the toilet seat waiting to pass out alone. >l don't pass out. >Feels good.

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Anon enters 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I entered 4chan for the first (...) 03/27/21(Sat)15:32:53 No.9526144 >be me >watches a lot of greentext content on Reddit >decides to go directly to the source >opens Safari in incognito mode because you never know 16 KB JPG >opens 4chan >mfw greeted by a Brazzers' black BBW ad and a dude who had a stroke while typing >what is this place?
: Anonymous I entered 4chan for the first (...) 03/27/21(Sat)15:32:53 No.9526144 >be me >watches a lot of greentext content on Reddit >decides to go directly to the source >opens Safari in incognito mode because you never know 16 KB JPG >opens 4chan >mfw greeted by a Brazzers' black BBW ad and a dude who had a stroke while typing >what is this place?

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Anon experiences freedom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)15:49:06 No.62938342 >family is on vacation >get the whole house to myself >buy beer and eat mcdonalds >can make as much noise as I can okay, now this is based and what true freedom feels like. 6 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)15:49:06 No.62938342 >family is on vacation >get the whole house to myself >buy beer and eat mcdonalds >can make as much noise as I can okay, now this is based and what true freedom feels like. 6 KB JPG

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Anon fixes his shirt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)07:42:31 No.845130302 Img-1610977327033.jpg 86 KB JPG >driving >notice shirt is inside out >pull into parking lot to correct it >fix shirt >guy pulls up >'hey nice t---' >hands me a 10 dollar bill >mfw i'm a guy
: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)07:42:31 No.845130302 Img-1610977327033.jpg 86 KB JPG >driving >notice shirt is inside out >pull into parking lot to correct it >fix shirt >guy pulls up >'hey nice t---' >hands me a 10 dollar bill >mfw i'm a guy

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Anon about migrant crisis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 1Fznobnw 03/27/21(Sat)11:32:37 No.313890260 >People would rather have pets than children >Europe promotes LGBT >LGBT cant have kids >Population declines >Labor force declines >Needs to import labor force to maintain economy >Current situation emerges
: Anonymous (ID: 1Fznobnw 03/27/21(Sat)11:32:37 No.313890260 >People would rather have pets than children >Europe promotes LGBT >LGBT cant have kids >Population declines >Labor force declines >Needs to import labor force to maintain economy >Current situation emerges

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