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Delightfully Devilish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Punishment 04/05/21(Mon)02:41:40 No.63059215 How do you deal with people that you hate fellow anons? I usually just say >You are breathing manually >You are blinking manually >Stop resting your tongue on the roof of your mouth >Also now you can see your nose 234 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)02:43:27 No.63059241 >>63059215 (OP) # F--- YOU YOU SADISTIC PUTRID P------------
: Anonymous Punishment 04/05/21(Mon)02:41:40 No.63059215 How do you deal with people that you hate fellow anons? I usually just say >You are breathing manually >You are blinking manually >Stop resting your tongue on the roof of your mouth >Also now you can see your nose 234 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)02:43:27 No.63059241 >>63059215 (OP) # F--- YOU YOU SADISTIC PUTRID P------------

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Anon's epic prank idea | /r/Greentext

le epic prank idea: >wait for April 15th >go to r/sino and other Chinese subs on reddit (yes reddit sucks ass) >post pics of Tiananmen Square, but just regular 79 KB JPG pics, none of the protest >talk about how you love the design and all that other f----- s--- >upvote others that do the same >give out awards to those post (but the free ones, not the ones you buy for. seriously whats the point of buying emojis?) >if banned, argue with the mods, and how you just like the square >claim they're racist and white Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
le epic prank idea: >wait for April 15th >go to r/sino and other Chinese subs on reddit (yes reddit sucks ass) >post pics of Tiananmen Square, but just regular 79 KB JPG pics, none of the protest >talk about how you love the design and all that other f----- s--- >upvote others that do the same >give out awards to those post (but the free ones, not the ones you buy for. seriously whats the point of buying emojis?) >if banned, argue with the mods, and how you just like the square >claim they're racist and white Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.

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Anon misses his grandma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Most of you will laugh but I (...) 04/05/21(Mon)04:51:19 No.63060771 >finish uni amidst covid >enter the family business >can't take it working and living with my dad any more >he's too demanding and just an absolute d--- sometimes when I'm 744 KB JPG off the clock >move into grandpa's house while he is away at his gf's >his wife (my grandmother) died suddenly of brain cancer last year >l'm happy for him though, his gf is incredibly nice, respectful, takes great care of him, and likes me a lot >moved into his place tonight| >putting my clothes away in the spare bedroom >find a build-a-bear in the closet >curiously I pick it up >click the paw to hear the audio >it's my grandma's voice singing a french lullaby she used to sing to me while scratching my back before l'd go to bed at her house. I was over her death fairly easily, I didn't cry at the funeral, I was the rock of my family. Death is an inevitable part of life, I came to those terms long ago. But this just completely destroyed my night. I'm sobbing like a retard just because of this dumb bear. I miss her bros. SPOILERS
: Anonymous Most of you will laugh but I (...) 04/05/21(Mon)04:51:19 No.63060771 >finish uni amidst covid >enter the family business >can't take it working and living with my dad any more >he's too demanding and just an absolute d--- sometimes when I'm 744 KB JPG off the clock >move into grandpa's house while he is away at his gf's >his wife (my grandmother) died suddenly of brain cancer last year >l'm happy for him though, his gf is incredibly nice, respectful, takes great care of him, and likes me a lot >moved into his place tonight| >putting my clothes away in the spare bedroom >find a build-a-bear in the closet >curiously I pick it up >click the paw to hear the audio >it's my grandma's voice singing a french lullaby she used to sing to me while scratching my back before l'd go to bed at her house. I was over her death fairly easily, I didn't cry at the funeral, I was the rock of my family. Death is an inevitable part of life, I came to those terms long ago. But this just completely destroyed my night. I'm sobbing like a retard just because of this dumb bear. I miss her bros. SPOILERS

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Anon smokes a joint | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 44437085 43 min. ago .. >be me >smoke a joint with an old friend i hadnt seen in years >after we finish he eats a roach w-- >he explains to me that it gets you 10x higher >mfw when i remember that 12 years ago i told him that fact as a joke >mfw he's been eating roaches for 12 12.3 kB JPG years 1 REPLY O IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous 44437085 43 min. ago .. >be me >smoke a joint with an old friend i hadnt seen in years >after we finish he eats a roach w-- >he explains to me that it gets you 10x higher >mfw when i remember that 12 years ago i told him that fact as a joke >mfw he's been eating roaches for 12 12.3 kB JPG years 1 REPLY O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon likes anime | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)01:50:06 No.851325777 >be me >fapping to hardcore Indian piss hentai in my bedroom >about to c-- >dad decides it's a good time to barge in >"hey anon, did you-" >hurriedly switch tabs to a 186 KB PNG paused YouTube video with a mudkip on the screen >dad sees his son c-- to a mudkip on a 50" tv monitor >dad walks back out and closes the door >my dad now thinks I'm a pokésexual >mfw
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)01:50:06 No.851325777 >be me >fapping to hardcore Indian piss hentai in my bedroom >about to c-- >dad decides it's a good time to barge in >"hey anon, did you-" >hurriedly switch tabs to a 186 KB PNG paused YouTube video with a mudkip on the screen >dad sees his son c-- to a mudkip on a 50" tv monitor >dad walks back out and closes the door >my dad now thinks I'm a pokésexual >mfw

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Anon is having existential crisis | /r/Greentext


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Anon lives in Gotham | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)20:28:00 No.849400058 > be me > family starving > decide to commit crime > batman shows up > breaks my leg, both arms and spine > says he doesn't kill and leaves me with the pain 14 KB JPG > hospital bill I can't pay > mfw I have to commit crime to pay hospital bill now
: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)20:28:00 No.849400058 > be me > family starving > decide to commit crime > batman shows up > breaks my leg, both arms and spine > says he doesn't kill and leaves me with the pain 14 KB JPG > hospital bill I can't pay > mfw I have to commit crime to pay hospital bill now

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anon doesn't have tattoo | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)21:31:31 No.1346015 >foreign guy at work walks up to me and points at my arms and says "tattoo?" >l say "what?" >"tattoo?" >"uh, no. I don't have any." >"very nice. very good. me neither" >walks away 36 KB JPG
Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)21:31:31 No.1346015 >foreign guy at work walks up to me and points at my arms and says "tattoo?" >l say "what?" >"tattoo?" >"uh, no. I don't have any." >"very nice. very good. me neither" >walks away 36 KB JPG

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Anon gave himself away | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/18(Tue)22:26:12 No.45251443 >Be me, 18 >Last two weeks of Senior Year >In Math, everyone's goofing off and talking. >Paper gets dropped on 14 KB JPG my desk >Says: "Petition to get *black kid in my class* to sing at graduation." >Few names are written already >Write: "Ur mom gay" on a blank line. >5 Minutes Pass >Girl on the verge of tears walks to the front of class >"I don't know who had the f------ audacity to make fun of my best friend like that. But whoever it was, I want you to know that you're not funny!" >waitwhat.jpeg >Explain that it's a dumb internet joke >Nobody gets the reference >Chad from the football team gets in my face and threatens to "clock me in the mouth" if I don't apologize. >MFW the guy actually had two moms
: Anonymous 05/08/18(Tue)22:26:12 No.45251443 >Be me, 18 >Last two weeks of Senior Year >In Math, everyone's goofing off and talking. >Paper gets dropped on 14 KB JPG my desk >Says: "Petition to get *black kid in my class* to sing at graduation." >Few names are written already >Write: "Ur mom gay" on a blank line. >5 Minutes Pass >Girl on the verge of tears walks to the front of class >"I don't know who had the f------ audacity to make fun of my best friend like that. But whoever it was, I want you to know that you're not funny!" >waitwhat.jpeg >Explain that it's a dumb internet joke >Nobody gets the reference >Chad from the football team gets in my face and threatens to "clock me in the mouth" if I don't apologize. >MFW the guy actually had two moms

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Anon is suffering | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)05:55:25 No.148868594 i (12).jpg 141 KB JPG >everyday im suffering
: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)05:55:25 No.148868594 i (12).jpg 141 KB JPG >everyday im suffering

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anon has the best taste of food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/01/19(Fri)19:45:09 No.13151086 >Welcome to Paris monsieur, we serve ze best cuisine in ze universe >May I take your ordeure ? 122 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/01/19(Fri)19:46:56 No.13151098 I'll have the chicken tenderloins. Lightly fried, with a honey sweetened Dijon mustard sauce. 57 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/01/19(Fri)19:45:09 No.13151086 >Welcome to Paris monsieur, we serve ze best cuisine in ze universe >May I take your ordeure ? 122 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/01/19(Fri)19:46:56 No.13151098 I'll have the chicken tenderloins. Lightly fried, with a honey sweetened Dijon mustard sauce. 57 KB JPG

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Anon gets high | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)14:35:27 No.63054792 >smoke weed for the first time >As I'm high I realize how the objectively cruel and violent of a place the world is >Start panicking The f---, I thought this s--- was supposed to help you relax and it did the exact opposite 165 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)14:36:47 No.63054809 >>63054792 (OP) # I've been smoking weed for a few years now. If you're an underage f-- below 16, don't smoke weed you frogposting f-----. 51 KB JPG >>63054850 #
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)14:35:27 No.63054792 >smoke weed for the first time >As I'm high I realize how the objectively cruel and violent of a place the world is >Start panicking The f---, I thought this s--- was supposed to help you relax and it did the exact opposite 165 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)14:36:47 No.63054809 >>63054792 (OP) # I've been smoking weed for a few years now. If you're an underage f-- below 16, don't smoke weed you frogposting f-----. 51 KB JPG >>63054850 #

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Anon's crush is crushed by black susan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/18(Tue)07:22:58 No.786522740 >be me >high school >algebra >crush comes in to give teacher раpers 53 КВ ЈPG >say hi >no response >say hi again >ghetto black girl screams "SHE DON'T WANT YOU N----" >entire class laughs >crush blushes and runs out the door >teachers begin to chuckle >mfw
: Anonymous 12/04/18(Tue)07:22:58 No.786522740 >be me >high school >algebra >crush comes in to give teacher раpers 53 КВ ЈPG >say hi >no response >say hi again >ghetto black girl screams "SHE DON'T WANT YOU N----" >entire class laughs >crush blushes and runs out the door >teachers begin to chuckle >mfw

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Anon loves his grandma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous grandparents are the best 04/04/21(Sun)22:02:29 No.63055779 >be me >go to megalibral college so everyone is scared of virus and cant meet people >classes canceled too, between that and the fact l'm a freshman I 21 KB JPG have prob 2 friends >easter rolls around I'm just doing some homework >get a call from grandma "hey anon wanna come over? we got some candy for you" >go over and get chocolate bunny from them >eating the bunny and browsing the web, feel a little less lonely take care of your grandparents if you have them still anons
: Anonymous grandparents are the best 04/04/21(Sun)22:02:29 No.63055779 >be me >go to megalibral college so everyone is scared of virus and cant meet people >classes canceled too, between that and the fact l'm a freshman I 21 KB JPG have prob 2 friends >easter rolls around I'm just doing some homework >get a call from grandma "hey anon wanna come over? we got some candy for you" >go over and get chocolate bunny from them >eating the bunny and browsing the web, feel a little less lonely take care of your grandparents if you have them still anons

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Anon's mom doesn't knock on his door | /r/Greentext

No.706434435 1 hour ago >be me >be fapping day and night >stupid mom keeps not knocking on the door and just barging in >hadn't gotten caught yet, but I had some close calls >hatch a plan >decide to sit naked in my room all day so she'll be embarrassed next time it happens >all day I'm sitting naked in my chair >it happened >she ALWAYS knocks now Sometimes you gotta lose the battle to win the war. 5 replies ...
No.706434435 1 hour ago >be me >be fapping day and night >stupid mom keeps not knocking on the door and just barging in >hadn't gotten caught yet, but I had some close calls >hatch a plan >decide to sit naked in my room all day so she'll be embarrassed next time it happens >all day I'm sitting naked in my chair >it happened >she ALWAYS knocks now Sometimes you gotta lose the battle to win the war. 5 replies ...

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Anon takes the trap-pill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)16:33:43 No.851289239 > be netflix and chilling with girl > midway through watching cars > "anon, where is the bathroom?" > "first door on your right" > she comes back laughing her ass 78 KB JPG off > "anon why the f--- do you have fred flintstone vitamins and tylenol for children" > "uhh i have trouble swalling pills so i prefer the gummies and chewables" > "i might be able to help with that" > she proceeds to pull down her pants > d--- bigger than mine > mfw
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)16:33:43 No.851289239 > be netflix and chilling with girl > midway through watching cars > "anon, where is the bathroom?" > "first door on your right" > she comes back laughing her ass 78 KB JPG off > "anon why the f--- do you have fred flintstone vitamins and tylenol for children" > "uhh i have trouble swalling pills so i prefer the gummies and chewables" > "i might be able to help with that" > she proceeds to pull down her pants > d--- bigger than mine > mfw

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anon is scared | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/18(Wed)15:20:34 No.48226468 >This Uber driver is known for great conversation 7 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 09/19/18(Wed)15:20:34 No.48226468 >This Uber driver is known for great conversation 7 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon will do anything for his best bro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)01:08:51 No.48912327 >be me >like this girl >make it instantly known to best bro >realize a couple days later that he has liked for longer than I >realize he would is giving the 8 KB JPG shot to me >days to by, girl makes move on best bro >he looks to me >l give him the go >hurts, but I know my best bro will be happy did I do good?
: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)01:08:51 No.48912327 >be me >like this girl >make it instantly known to best bro >realize a couple days later that he has liked for longer than I >realize he would is giving the 8 KB JPG shot to me >days to by, girl makes move on best bro >he looks to me >l give him the go >hurts, but I know my best bro will be happy did I do good?

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Anon rises against big tech | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)13:48:58 No.851279857 > be posting to 4chan > see reCAPTCHA > asks me to mark the pictures parking meters > also mark a picture of a mailbox > it works 16 KB JPG > f--- you google > mfw
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)13:48:58 No.851279857 > be posting to 4chan > see reCAPTCHA > asks me to mark the pictures parking meters > also mark a picture of a mailbox > it works 16 KB JPG > f--- you google > mfw

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Anon is petty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)16:38:25 No.63052232 >ask friend if he wants to play something >refuses me >after 10 mins i see him playing a game with someone else >instantly block him and never talk to him again 128 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)16:38:25 No.63052232 >ask friend if he wants to play something >refuses me >after 10 mins i see him playing a game with someone else >instantly block him and never talk to him again 128 KB PNG

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