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Anon hates communism | /r/Greentext

>Be in preschool, 4 or 5 >Easter Egg hunt >l murder that s---, my easter bag is overflowing with eggs while all the s--- slow children barely filled theirs halfway >Go home >come back the next day >my bounty of Easter Eggs have been evenly distributed to all the other bags of the children who 76 KB JPG didn't earn them
>Be in preschool, 4 or 5 >Easter Egg hunt >l murder that s---, my easter bag is overflowing with eggs while all the s--- slow children barely filled theirs halfway >Go home >come back the next day >my bounty of Easter Eggs have been evenly distributed to all the other bags of the children who 76 KB JPG didn't earn them

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Anon tells the time | /r/Greentext

1418776509444.jpg 10 KB JPG >normie asks me the time >"i dont know" >"look at your watch" >look at her right in the eyes >"no"
1418776509444.jpg 10 KB JPG >normie asks me the time >"i dont know" >"look at your watch" >look at her right in the eyes >"no"

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Anon is in paris | /r/Greentext

>be me >black >chilling with 3 of my friends >one of them decides to call a h----- >awesome.jpg >few hours later 78 KB JPG >hear door knock >h----- walks in >ask what her name is >"my name is paris" >hot >we all go down on her at the same time >all three of us are in each one of her holes >we all look at eachother >realization >n----- in paris
>be me >black >chilling with 3 of my friends >one of them decides to call a h----- >awesome.jpg >few hours later 78 KB JPG >hear door knock >h----- walks in >ask what her name is >"my name is paris" >hot >we all go down on her at the same time >all three of us are in each one of her holes >we all look at eachother >realization >n----- in paris

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Anon the entrepreneur | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 10/13/20(Tue)23:00:30 No.837830448 >be me >17 >male >broke af >think of ways to make easy 19 KB PNG money >remember hearing about girls selling feet pics on OnlyFans >look at my feet >notice how feminine they look idea.jpg few weeks later >turn 18 >download OnlyFans on my phone >setup billing information and s--- >shave off all hair on my feet and lower legs >take pictures of feet >horny retards start paying monthly subscriptions for my feet >starts off slow but eventually start making decent money tfw I realize many grown men have nutted to my feet >doesn't matter, now financially stable
| Anonymous 10/13/20(Tue)23:00:30 No.837830448 >be me >17 >male >broke af >think of ways to make easy 19 KB PNG money >remember hearing about girls selling feet pics on OnlyFans >look at my feet >notice how feminine they look idea.jpg few weeks later >turn 18 >download OnlyFans on my phone >setup billing information and s--- >shave off all hair on my feet and lower legs >take pictures of feet >horny retards start paying monthly subscriptions for my feet >starts off slow but eventually start making decent money tfw I realize many grown men have nutted to my feet >doesn't matter, now financially stable

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Butter face | /r/Greentext


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Anon almost gets trips | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/18(Tue)20:36:46 No.772682001 >At a hotel >Living off heavy meat and fat diet >Farts are outrageous >Seriously, they'd strip the makeup off a clown >Get idea 85 KB PNG >Fart in bed all night, don't waft blanket at all >In the morning I shifted out of the bed without disturbing the natural pocket of air >Came back today, the blanket and sheet were flipped back, new towels were just dropped on the corner of the bed and nothing else had been done I think the maid got a full dose of my fart and abandoned ship, sleeper dutch ovens are real.
: Anonymous 06/26/18(Tue)20:36:46 No.772682001 >At a hotel >Living off heavy meat and fat diet >Farts are outrageous >Seriously, they'd strip the makeup off a clown >Get idea 85 KB PNG >Fart in bed all night, don't waft blanket at all >In the morning I shifted out of the bed without disturbing the natural pocket of air >Came back today, the blanket and sheet were flipped back, new towels were just dropped on the corner of the bed and nothing else had been done I think the maid got a full dose of my fart and abandoned ship, sleeper dutch ovens are real.

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anon hates his job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/12/20(Thu)21:50:40 No.531927731 >be a worker at bestbuy >thugs walk up to you and demand a ps5 at gunpoint >give them a ps5 >now they demand ps5 games >start sweating How do I get out of this kind of situation? >>531927895 # >>531928186 # >>531928358 # >>531928457 # >>531930603 # >>531931185 # >>531931478 # >>531931753 # >>531931794 # >>531932054 # >>531932113 # >>531932414 # >>531932590 # >>531932652 # >>531933076 # >>531933098 # >>531933398 # >>531933435 # >>531933762 # >>531934851 # >>531935420 # >>531935546 # >>531935615 # >>531935721 # >>531936032 # >>531937380 # >>531937662 # >>531938048 #
: Anonymous 11/12/20(Thu)21:50:40 No.531927731 >be a worker at bestbuy >thugs walk up to you and demand a ps5 at gunpoint >give them a ps5 >now they demand ps5 games >start sweating How do I get out of this kind of situation? >>531927895 # >>531928186 # >>531928358 # >>531928457 # >>531930603 # >>531931185 # >>531931478 # >>531931753 # >>531931794 # >>531932054 # >>531932113 # >>531932414 # >>531932590 # >>531932652 # >>531933076 # >>531933098 # >>531933398 # >>531933435 # >>531933762 # >>531934851 # >>531935420 # >>531935546 # >>531935615 # >>531935721 # >>531936032 # >>531937380 # >>531937662 # >>531938048 #

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Rollin' with my homies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)16:52:32 No.850420505 Oldfags why were the 90's so good? 938 KB JPG 177 Replies / 38 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:41:19 No.850441458 : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:43:41 No.850441644 : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:51:45 No.850442338 >>850420505 (OP) # >It's Friday. F--- yeah! >Just spent the entire summer day running around your neighborhood on your bike playing with friends >Completely disconnected from 369 KB PNG the world outside of what you were doing with the your friends because no internet everywhere and no phone in anyone's pocket >Time to to home >Starving because playing all day >Dad gets home from work and parents decide to go to Country Buffet for dinner >F--- yeah, all you can eat mac-n-cheese! >Put on your nicest pair of jncos >Your baggiest t-shirt >Everyone hop into the Ford Contour and off to the buffet >Set world record for most number of buffalo wings eaten by a 10 year old in one sitting >Parents decide it's a good weekend to rent some movies >Back into the Countour for the short ride to Blockbuster Video >Dad picks The Shawshank Redemption >Mom picks Nell >You pick The Mask >Also popcorn >And crystal pepsi >TFW future generations will never know
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)16:52:32 No.850420505 Oldfags why were the 90's so good? 938 KB JPG 177 Replies / 38 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:41:19 No.850441458 : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:43:41 No.850441644 : Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:51:45 No.850442338 >>850420505 (OP) # >It's Friday. F--- yeah! >Just spent the entire summer day running around your neighborhood on your bike playing with friends >Completely disconnected from 369 KB PNG the world outside of what you were doing with the your friends because no internet everywhere and no phone in anyone's pocket >Time to to home >Starving because playing all day >Dad gets home from work and parents decide to go to Country Buffet for dinner >F--- yeah, all you can eat mac-n-cheese! >Put on your nicest pair of jncos >Your baggiest t-shirt >Everyone hop into the Ford Contour and off to the buffet >Set world record for most number of buffalo wings eaten by a 10 year old in one sitting >Parents decide it's a good weekend to rent some movies >Back into the Countour for the short ride to Blockbuster Video >Dad picks The Shawshank Redemption >Mom picks Nell >You pick The Mask >Also popcorn >And crystal pepsi >TFW future generations will never know

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What a dumbass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/19(Tue)00:12:03 No.718566 >Literally have a general named France Holder >Don't use him to hold France God, Hitler was a dumbass RINN 40 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/03/19(Tue)00:12:03 No.718566 >Literally have a general named France Holder >Don't use him to hold France God, Hitler was a dumbass RINN 40 KB JPG

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Anon questions the American dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)20:23:55 No.850414896 >Be American >Wake up, eat disgusting suger-filled cereals and panecakes with tree c-- on >Get on school bus, get bullied by the school bully the entire ride, cry >Enter classroom, put hand on heart and pledge allegiance to Dear Leader, ready to absorb today's daily propaganda about how USA 199 KB JPG number one >Lunch time! Get s----- half-fabricated pizza because it counts as a vegetable, drink chocolate milk filled with sugar >Sudden bang bang noises, edgy kid in trench coat enters the cantina and starts blasting with his newly bought AR-15 >One bullet slightly brushes your arm, you get rushed to the hospital with a flesh wound, then the Indian doctor tells you that'll be 150 000 dollars. >Since you can't pay you get kicked out and put on debt >Back in school, you day dream about the American dream and look outside, see hobo sitting with s---- stained pants, shooting meth >Go home, show parents your report card, and since it's a C+ your dad slaps you around since corporal punishment is legal >Eat s----- frozen TV dinner with the rest of your family, watching America's favourite tv show, The price is right. Everybody claps and makes pig noises when they guess the price correctly >0000H SAAAAY CAN YOUUU SEEEEEEEEEEEE!? Why is America like this?
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)20:23:55 No.850414896 >Be American >Wake up, eat disgusting suger-filled cereals and panecakes with tree c-- on >Get on school bus, get bullied by the school bully the entire ride, cry >Enter classroom, put hand on heart and pledge allegiance to Dear Leader, ready to absorb today's daily propaganda about how USA 199 KB JPG number one >Lunch time! Get s----- half-fabricated pizza because it counts as a vegetable, drink chocolate milk filled with sugar >Sudden bang bang noises, edgy kid in trench coat enters the cantina and starts blasting with his newly bought AR-15 >One bullet slightly brushes your arm, you get rushed to the hospital with a flesh wound, then the Indian doctor tells you that'll be 150 000 dollars. >Since you can't pay you get kicked out and put on debt >Back in school, you day dream about the American dream and look outside, see hobo sitting with s---- stained pants, shooting meth >Go home, show parents your report card, and since it's a C+ your dad slaps you around since corporal punishment is legal >Eat s----- frozen TV dinner with the rest of your family, watching America's favourite tv show, The price is right. Everybody claps and makes pig noises when they guess the price correctly >0000H SAAAAY CAN YOUUU SEEEEEEEEEEEE!? Why is America like this?

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Anon shares his opinion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 1YRXFI/4 ) E 02/16/20(Sun)19:34:37 No.244042819 >be mega disgusting roastie p--- star w---- >sleep with literally hundreds of people on MY PARENTS HATE THAT I DO P--- 16:33 camera over a 10 yr career >Approaching 30 yr old, wonder why guys won't date or have an intimate relationship w you 64 KB JPG >cry and call them insecure >cry and call say they're just intimidated by all the money >cry about how even your own mother takes advantage of you noW Topkek.
: Anonymous (ID: 1YRXFI/4 ) E 02/16/20(Sun)19:34:37 No.244042819 >be mega disgusting roastie p--- star w---- >sleep with literally hundreds of people on MY PARENTS HATE THAT I DO P--- 16:33 camera over a 10 yr career >Approaching 30 yr old, wonder why guys won't date or have an intimate relationship w you 64 KB JPG >cry and call them insecure >cry and call say they're just intimidated by all the money >cry about how even your own mother takes advantage of you noW Topkek.

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Anon kisses a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)18:10:49 No.62899248 >be me KHV >mention it to the popular girls who let me hang out with them for some reason >"I'll kiss you anon" >agree expecting a quick peck >she fully embraces me and forces her tongue into my mouth holding me by the 95 KB JPG back of my neck >kiss lasts about 15 seconds >too f------ surprised to say anything for about 30 seconds after >stammer out "th-thank you" >she hugs me and laughs saying "you're so cute" >haven't had a kiss since
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)18:10:49 No.62899248 >be me KHV >mention it to the popular girls who let me hang out with them for some reason >"I'll kiss you anon" >agree expecting a quick peck >she fully embraces me and forces her tongue into my mouth holding me by the 95 KB JPG back of my neck >kiss lasts about 15 seconds >too f------ surprised to say anything for about 30 seconds after >stammer out "th-thank you" >she hugs me and laughs saying "you're so cute" >haven't had a kiss since

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Nothing is an absolute failure | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)15:43:04 No.62897044 Autistic Moments Can we have a nice old fashioned thread of weird/cringeworthy s--- you did when you were younger? >be me, 15 >in school, it's lunchtime, crowds of 279 KB PNG people about >l'd played assassins creed the night before and done that thing where you hold a button to quickly move through crowds >walk into a group of guys in my year >do the animation of pushing through >put my hand on one of their backs and push gently >immediately he turns around >"what's this guys problem?" >everyone laughs >quietly walk away with a stern look on my face, just like an assassin
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)15:43:04 No.62897044 Autistic Moments Can we have a nice old fashioned thread of weird/cringeworthy s--- you did when you were younger? >be me, 15 >in school, it's lunchtime, crowds of 279 KB PNG people about >l'd played assassins creed the night before and done that thing where you hold a button to quickly move through crowds >walk into a group of guys in my year >do the animation of pushing through >put my hand on one of their backs and push gently >immediately he turns around >"what's this guys problem?" >everyone laughs >quietly walk away with a stern look on my face, just like an assassin

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Anon takes sex ed | /r/Greentext

>be me >5th grade >its about that time they start teaching us about sex >boys and girls split into separate classes to talk about each one's phases of puberty, respectively >male teacher ТОР TOP GUN >telling us about changes in our bodies blah blah >finally comes to the topic of sperm >foreign kid from the dominican republic pipes up, in full foreign accent asks >"can you eat the sperm" >mfw >teacher's face >everyone's face I wonder what that kid is up to these days
>be me >5th grade >its about that time they start teaching us about sex >boys and girls split into separate classes to talk about each one's phases of puberty, respectively >male teacher ТОР TOP GUN >telling us about changes in our bodies blah blah >finally comes to the topic of sperm >foreign kid from the dominican republic pipes up, in full foreign accent asks >"can you eat the sperm" >mfw >teacher's face >everyone's face I wonder what that kid is up to these days

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anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)15:10:54 No.850421775 >be me >sleeping.wav >dreaming that i am a young jewish boy following around my older also jewish cousin >we are walking around poland at night >going alley to alley s------- 106 KB JPG >just dropping our pants and taking massive s---- in corners and on walls >wake up >oh no >there's a s--- in my ass >it's stuck there like a s--- cork >book it from bed to bathroom >wrap hand in toilet paper >manually pull cork s--- out of my ass >unleash a tsunami of diarrhea >f------ jews >f------ jews s--- my pants
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)15:10:54 No.850421775 >be me >sleeping.wav >dreaming that i am a young jewish boy following around my older also jewish cousin >we are walking around poland at night >going alley to alley s------- 106 KB JPG >just dropping our pants and taking massive s---- in corners and on walls >wake up >oh no >there's a s--- in my ass >it's stuck there like a s--- cork >book it from bed to bathroom >wrap hand in toilet paper >manually pull cork s--- out of my ass >unleash a tsunami of diarrhea >f------ jews >f------ jews s--- my pants

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Anon contests the high ground. | /r/Greentext

>>313532097 (OP) # >Be fat british ultra cuck >have dad who rapes children in my presence >have husband who fantasizes about r----- 57 KB JPG children on twitter >support both of them >take the trans-pill >immune to any sort of criticism, because nowadays it's a hatecrime to say bad things about trans >become reddit-admin >people on reddit get mad on me and want to shame me for my child r----- support >their accounts get deleted, because of hatespeech and bigotry When has 4chan become morally more bountiful than reddit? >>313541146 #
>>313532097 (OP) # >Be fat british ultra cuck >have dad who rapes children in my presence >have husband who fantasizes about r----- 57 KB JPG children on twitter >support both of them >take the trans-pill >immune to any sort of criticism, because nowadays it's a hatecrime to say bad things about trans >become reddit-admin >people on reddit get mad on me and want to shame me for my child r----- support >their accounts get deleted, because of hatespeech and bigotry When has 4chan become morally more bountiful than reddit? >>313541146 #

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The absolute state | /r/Greentext

03/24/21(Wed)17:29:11 No.313483606 Anonymous (ID: COJXIJ45 File: Ashton Challenor.jpg (152 KB, 960x960) Gres >court ruled the mother was a schizo who suffered from "imaginary illnesses" >father was an evangelical christian, who became an atheist, and later a furry >likely inspired (and r----) by his father, Ashton announces his furry fetish online at 14 years old >as a teen, participates in furry events arranged by the "Dog and Bear Club" >joins the Green Party as an LGBT spokesman >his father rapes a 10 year old dressed in daiper-fur fetish gear >later hires his father to work for the Green Party, calls him "Best Father of the Year" >after being doxxed on twitter, resigns from the Green Party, calling them "transphobic" #AREENSO >The Green Party's only statement is to confirm that people like Ashton are "real women" >Marries a open p-------- named Nathaniel Knight, who openly talks about his attraction to children on his social media and forum posts >Because of his association with p---------, Ashton is fired by the Liberal Democrats >For some reason, is hired as admin by Reddit in 2021 >immediately deletes every post mentioning him >makes his name a banned word >deletes entire subreddits that mention his association with p--------- the absolute state
03/24/21(Wed)17:29:11 No.313483606 Anonymous (ID: COJXIJ45 File: Ashton Challenor.jpg (152 KB, 960x960) Gres >court ruled the mother was a schizo who suffered from "imaginary illnesses" >father was an evangelical christian, who became an atheist, and later a furry >likely inspired (and r----) by his father, Ashton announces his furry fetish online at 14 years old >as a teen, participates in furry events arranged by the "Dog and Bear Club" >joins the Green Party as an LGBT spokesman >his father rapes a 10 year old dressed in daiper-fur fetish gear >later hires his father to work for the Green Party, calls him "Best Father of the Year" >after being doxxed on twitter, resigns from the Green Party, calling them "transphobic" #AREENSO >The Green Party's only statement is to confirm that people like Ashton are "real women" >Marries a open p-------- named Nathaniel Knight, who openly talks about his attraction to children on his social media and forum posts >Because of his association with p---------, Ashton is fired by the Liberal Democrats >For some reason, is hired as admin by Reddit in 2021 >immediately deletes every post mentioning him >makes his name a banned word >deletes entire subreddits that mention his association with p--------- the absolute state

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Anon tells a college story | /r/Greentext

File: 1023.jpg (15 KB, 300x218) Anonymous 09/17/17(Sun)17:32:02 No.745459384 > In college, walking down a pathway > see a table with what looks like model penises on it > Decide to investigate > They are model penises > girl at the table asks me if I know how to use a condom and I say yes > She asks me to prove it by putting one on a model >I do, and she says I did it wrong because I didn't ask the model for consent > I'm a r-----
File: 1023.jpg (15 KB, 300x218) Anonymous 09/17/17(Sun)17:32:02 No.745459384 > In college, walking down a pathway > see a table with what looks like model penises on it > Decide to investigate > They are model penises > girl at the table asks me if I know how to use a condom and I say yes > She asks me to prove it by putting one on a model >I do, and she says I did it wrong because I didn't ask the model for consent > I'm a r-----

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Anon is in pain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)18:11:17 No.62876926 >20 years old >still look like i'm 15 10 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)18:11:17 No.62876926 >20 years old >still look like i'm 15 10 KB JPG

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Ramsay helps anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/31/19(Thu)19:20:01 No.13146883 >be 1 month neet after my job of a year >my only skill is videogames >think cooking is for girls >discover gordon ramsay >he's angry, but wise and understandable 33 KB JPG >start watching hall his videos >just made a pumpkin soup after his recipe and my whole family likes it and says good job >get happy that I finally did something on my own and that my family isn't angry or disappointing thank you Ramsay
: Anonymous 10/31/19(Thu)19:20:01 No.13146883 >be 1 month neet after my job of a year >my only skill is videogames >think cooking is for girls >discover gordon ramsay >he's angry, but wise and understandable 33 KB JPG >start watching hall his videos >just made a pumpkin soup after his recipe and my whole family likes it and says good job >get happy that I finally did something on my own and that my family isn't angry or disappointing thank you Ramsay

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